TRIGGERED Girl WALKS OFF The Show?! 4 Kids 4 Fathers?! HEATED DEBATE On Chivalry! | Dating Talk #232
Date: 2025-03-03
Duration: 8h 58m
Guests
Brian AtlasIdentified Speakers
SPEAKER_02Multiple Guests (02)(guest)
SPEAKER_03Dalia(guest)
SPEAKER_04Natalie Tasha Thompson(guest)
SPEAKER_06Brian Atlas(host)
SPEAKER_07TTS Reader / Brian(host)
SPEAKER_09Andrew Wilson(guest)
SPEAKER_11Paula(guest)
SPEAKER_12Joy(guest)
SPEAKER_13Andrea(guest)
SPEAKER_14Tessa(guest)
Key Moments
00:05:30
QuoteCourtney introduces herself as 'ageless' then reluctantly admits 28
“I'm ageless I will let that up to the viewers to decide”
00:17:23
QuoteNatalie explains: mother named her Natalie Tasha because 'Natasha' contains 'Satan' backwards
“my mom liked the name Natasha until she realized that it was a Satan backwards so she decided to make kindergarten hard”
00:25:30
RelationshipElizabeth reveals she has 4 kids with 4 different fathers, 3 have autism - largest family situation on this episode
“four kids four kids all the same father or different fathers different fathers for all four”
00:31:36
OtherKayia/Jade explains her 'civilian celibacy' - does adult film for work but stays celibate with civilians to protect her work
“the problem is like um civilians like jeopardize you know when you're when you're just interacting with people who are also tested”
02:03:00
OtherAbby's situationship drama: her situationship and her date were both at the same baseball game/bar - they all played pool together
“they both invited me to the same baseball game so I kind of like pre-warned him... we all ended up at the same bar and then we all played pool together”
03:00:00
ControversyPaula challenges Brian: if you want a submissive woman and traditional values, why won't you pay for dates?
“if that's your traditional mindset then why are you not traditional in the sense that you're not willing to even pay for a date”
03:10:00
ControversyAndrew argues women can't have it both ways: if they vote to send men to war but aren't drafted themselves, that's privilege not equality
“if all the women voted for that person all the men voted against that person they could send men off to war yes and they themselves would not have to fight that war”
04:27:12
OtherLiberty reveals she once had a date offer her lean while he was on house arrest with an ankle monitor
“he came to my restaurant... he was telling me about like oh I'm on house arrest and I was like how the hell did I get myself... he had a little lean”
06:13:00
ControversyAndrea confronts Andrew Wilson over immigration joke, calls him racist, eventually refuses to answer more questions - nearly a walkoff
“you Trump loving she clapping man... why are you guys going after Latinos... you guys literally have low IQs”
06:19:00
OtherAndrea announces she will stop answering questions due to disrespect - closest thing to a walkoff in this episode
“I'm just going to stop talking because I don't want to hold on so just to be clear you can be abrasive towards that I'm just going to literally stop answering questions”
06:48:00
Key MomentTessa reveals her Vanderbilt mechanical engineering degree while working as a bowling alley server because it pays more
“I make more money as a server than I do as an engineer”
07:00:00
ControversyAndrea argues that men who want to be chased rather than chase women might be gay
“maybe like maybe they are gay but they don't want to admit it and so like they're going after these women”
07:46:00
OtherNicole shares story: date seared her hand with a heated butter knife on a candle - still has the triangular scar
“he had a butter knife that he was laying on top of a candle and out of nowhere he like reached to grab my hand and he just seared my hand”
07:55:30
QuoteBrian delivers memorable line: 'You take the bullet, you pay for the first date' - encapsulating the chivalry debate
“you guys have rejected the social contract you take the bullet you take the bullet you pay for the first date”
08:06:00
RelationshipBody count round: Kayia estimates 100-110 as adult performer; various other guests share or decline to share counts
“probably like I'd say by now I'd estimate like 100 to 110”
08:12:00
ControversyExtended Courtney vs. Brian debate on sidewalk rule - she wants chivalry but also full independence; Brian calls out the contradiction
“you said you're a big believer in Old School values if a guy doesn't know basic etiquette like the sidewalk rule... you want a guy to die for you but you can't even change your shirt”
08:24:00
OtherNatalie shares she previously dated a ~50yo man when she was 19 in college (needed money)
“he was probably like 50 so going back to the conversation of like 50 with a 19-year-old yeah I think that's kind of kind of weird looking at it now obviously I know that I was an adult”
08:27:24
QuoteCourtney reveals she cannot carry children and needs a surrogate
“jokes on you though cuz I actually can't carry my own kids so I actually get to decide when I have a kid because I have to get a surate”
10:00:54
OtherPatrice O'Neal 'no vagina' clip played - guests answer how they'd keep their man without it
“if you didn't have a vagina like say it was a terrible train accident right how would you keep your man”
Topics Discussed
00:05:04
Guest Introductions
Brian introduces the largest-ever panel (14 guests). Each guest gives name, age, location, occupation, education. Guests include Courtney (songwriter), Jade/Kayia (adult performer), Abby (aesthetician), Elizabeth (4 kids, 4 fathers), Liberty (furniture admin), Tessa (engineer/server), Andrea (medical assistant), Joy (business manager), Dalia (actress/student), Nicole (coordinator/makeup), Ashley (automotive GM), Natalie Tasha Thompson (nonprofit director), Paula (salsa teacher). Andrew Wilson also introduces himself.
00:21:00
Relationship Status Round
Brian goes around the table asking about relationship status, how long single, longest relationship, who broke up with who. Notable: Elizabeth's 4 kids with 4 different fathers revealed, with detailed discussion. Kayia's return to adult industry after relationship. Abby's 5-month casual situationship. Various single/casually dating statuses revealed.
01:34:30
Going to Clubs / Bars in Relationships
Debate about whether partners should be allowed to go to clubs while in relationships. Brian argues men and women face different environments (men seek, women are pursued), so it's asymmetrical. Andrew uses the 'avoid impropriety' argument. Multiple guests debate trust vs. mate-guarding. One guest (Liberty) was in a situationship where she was caught on a date at the same baseball game as her situationship guy.
03:00:00
Chivalry and Traditional Values Debate
Heated multi-hour debate on chivalry: the sidewalk rule, men paying for dates, submission in relationships, traditional gender roles. Paula and others argue for traditional chivalry. Brian challenges the pick-and-choose approach to traditionalism. Courtney's position particularly debated - she wants chivalry (sidewalk rule, door-opening) but also full independence. Andrew argues chivalry was historically tied to female virtue. Debate extends into feminism, equality, who should vote, military service.
04:33:30
Gender Swap AI Photos
Brian shows AI-generated gender-swapped versions of the guests. Guests react to seeing themselves as the opposite gender. Some self-deprecating comments, some surprise. Natalie says her male version looks better; Joy's bondage Instagram photos referenced.
04:59:30
Age Gap Relationships Debate
Discussion about age gap relationships, particularly older men dating younger women. Paula objects to large age gaps (20+ years). Andrew and Brian defend men's ability to date younger women. Discussion of when it's appropriate vs. predatory. Debate about women's prime, fertility, and relationship stability.
05:34:00
Minimum Income and Height Requirements
Brian asks all guests their minimum income and height requirements for a husband. Results vary widely: one guest wants 200k+, most want 80-150k, some don't care. Heights range from no preference to 5'10+. Andrew highlights the privilege asymmetry - men have no income requirements for women while women have high requirements for men. Brian says he has zero income requirement for a woman.
05:56:30
Women Dressing Revealing / Modesty Debate
Extended debate on whether women in relationships should dress modestly at a partner's request. Andrea strongly against restrictions - approaches men knowing how she dresses. Joy argues modesty preaching in church is harmful. Natalie and Nicole more traditional. Brian challenges the double standard of wanting chivalry but refusing to defer on clothing. Joy's revealing Instagram photos shown on screen.
06:13:00
Andrea vs. Andrew: Immigration/Politics Confrontation
Heated confrontation between Andrea (23, Oakland) and Andrew Wilson over an immigration joke Andrew made about deporting families. Andrea calls it racist and not funny. Andrew defends it as a joke. Andrea eventually says she'll stop answering questions because the conversation is too disrespectful. Multiple guests try to mediate. Discussion about whether you can be racist towards white people.
07:59:00
Body Count Round
Brian asks all guests their body count. Notable answers: Kayia/Jade ~100-110 (as adult performer), one guest 11, one guest 25-30, one guest 8, Paula refused (not over 100), Joy refused (under 100, not counting same-sex with husband), Natalie 20-25, several private/refused. Followed by discussion on whether men caring about body count means they're insecure. Nicole discusses why focus on body count is hypocritical without also addressing male porn addiction.
08:06:00
Chivalry Final Showdown / Patrice O'Neal Video
Continued chivalry debate culminating in Brian playing Patrice O'Neal's 'what if you didn't have a vagina' video to illustrate female value beyond sex. Guests respond to how they'd keep a man. Paula argues men are protectors by God's design. Brian: 'You take the bullet, you pay for the first date.' Final discussion of traditional vs. modern expectations.
08:12:00
Sidewalk Rule Deep Dive - Courtney
Extended one-on-one between Brian and Courtney about the sidewalk rule and what 'old school values' really means. Brian challenges Courtney's cherry-picking of traditional expectations. Courtney maintains her position on independence while wanting gentleman behaviors. Argument goes in circles until both sides acknowledge different people want different things.
Transcript
Page 2 of 10
00:56:21
Brian Atlasgoing to just jump right into that so start
00:56:28
Brian Atlaswith uh let's see here Abigail Abigail so you got out of the long-term relationship in January of 2024 and you
00:56:40
Brian Atlasas you described it you started binge dating yeah and you said you binge dated at least 30 guys right you we kind of already went over that and you said you
00:56:49
Brian Atlasmet them on dating apps bars clubs wherever the wind took you yep um and I think you clarified though it wasn't 30 at the same time it was 30
00:57:01
Brian Atlasconsecutively uh how long did it take you to meet all of those about 30 like it was a two Monon period 3mon period probably about like four four months months all right I thought it was like
00:57:13
Brian Atlas30 at the same time and you're going on like multiple dates a day um you said that the issue that seems to happen was they all wanted to be in a relationship with you off the
00:57:25
Brian Atlasgecko yeah that was your typo said GE she said GE she already gave me sh I knew you said you meant get get go but you didn't write gecko off the gecko GE
00:57:36
Brian Atlascan we put that on the T-shirt um off the gecko I should have hey in the chat spam gecko emojis you really don't have to do that chat spam spam gecko emojis live already gave me so much [ __ ] for it
00:57:47
Multiple Guests (02)um off the gecko off the Geck so uh all the guys wanted to be in a relationship with you I think it's because I said I didn't want anything and I feel like a guy want what they can't have most of
00:57:57
Multiple Guests (02)the time so it's like it was a weird psychological thing and they were like oh she doesn't want anything serious so I'm going to pressure her into getting into something serious with me huh so
00:58:09
Andrew Wilsonwere you uh sleeping with any of these men out of the 30 probably like four oh four yeah and did those guys want
00:58:18
Multiple Guests (02)relationships with you yes they did okay I feel like it's usually the opposite like usually when you start sleeping with them that's when they like don't want anything then but when you like hold back that's when they're like
00:58:31
Andrew Wilsonyeah this this is wifey material I know it's maybe it's Utah sorry just just want to get a couple couple more quick details if you don't mind um were you doing stuff with these other guys no
00:58:42
Multiple Guests (02)strictly just hand holding that about it no like I mean i' give them a hug goodbye say thank you so much for dinner and go home and did most of them not
00:58:52
Multiple Guests (02)make it to a second date then you know if we had like a good conversation and I mean I would hang out with them again go grab dinner I kind of just saw them all as like friends
00:59:04
Andrew Wilsonmorally so if you it seems reasonable to me that if you go on multiple days with a person or multiple dates with a person especially you know man woman whatever um that there could be a growing
00:59:16
Multiple Guests (02)expectation for relationship that's the point of them dating right 100% and that's why on the first date I would specifically say like I'm kind of just doing this for fun um and they knew too like I let them
00:59:29
Multiple Guests (02)know I kind of just got out of a really long relationship and I'm not ready for something serious and it just so happened that they wanted to go out with me again and they were okay with that yeah but I mean people send off all
00:59:41
Andrew Wilsonsorts of mix signals when they're dating right 100% so I actually took a break from da they'll say all sorts of things like I'm not really looking for a commitment necessarily and then they commit within a week and sometimes it's uh you know I'm just looking to play the
00:59:54
Andrew Wilsonfield and they're not they're actually looking for a commitment so you know it's hard it's hard to actually gauge so it seems like it's reasonable from a from a man's perspective he's dating you going on multiple dates that he moves
01:00:05
Multiple Guests (02)into the expectation of wanting a relationship that seems reasonable to me yeah I mean I 100% agree and I think probably about four months ago I stopped dating cuz I was like this is kind of not what I want to do now if I am going
01:00:18
Multiple Guests (02)to be seeing people and not wanting anything that I shouldn't do this the Fun's over the Fun's over I don't know is Brian is Brian still
01:00:30
Andrew Wilsonright there he's doing cartwheels I was I I just step away I don't know how long that no no problem I just would want to keep going through the pre-show notes so
01:00:39
Brian Atlasyeah yeah uh wait so I missed the part that you guys got into but um so you were upset that these piece of [ __ ] men
01:00:51
Brian Atlaswanted to be in a monogamous relationship with you is that read on no no how dare they want to be in a relation how dare they want to be in a relationship with you it's cuz they all
01:01:05
Multiple Guests (02)accepted it and they were like yeah like let's just do this as fun they all were like totally there for that and so for me to like have them say that they're okay with it and then combat it and be like you shouldn't have led me on it's
01:01:17
Andrew Wilsonlike I told you from the beginning were they paying for were they paying for these dates um some yes but some I actually did pay for okay okay yeah I know I know I knew you were going to say some right every woman says some they P
01:01:30
Andrew Wilsonthey bought a cup of coffee for the guy one time or something like that dinner the vast majority of the dates that you went on out of the 40 how many times did
01:01:37
Andrew Wilsonyou pay um probably paid about like five times so 5 out of 40 something like that really you paid for well wait you didn't
01:01:49
Andrew Wilsongo on 40 dayses you went out with 40 guys right like if I chalk it all up 30ish okay 30ish guys so you went on more than 40 days likely right maybe but
01:02:03
Multiple Guests (02)some of those dates weren't like something we pay for it was like summertime we blow up my paddle board and go to the lake we go paint we just hang out so why would you pay for dates I don't know I think at the beginning I
01:02:15
Multiple Guests (02)paid for more dates I felt really inclined I felt like I just needed to and then it kind of turned into something like you know I should let the man pay if he wants to okay and then of course they all
01:02:26
Andrew Wilsonwanted to right some of them yeah yeah so if they so if they're paying yeah they're paying for the dates they go on multiple dates again it does seem does seem like a reasonable expectation right
01:02:37
Andrew Wilsonlike if I go out if you if you really want to frame it like um these are just friends right I just kind of explained to them we're friends right well when I go out with my friends they pay for their own [ __ ] right I go out to a movie movie with a friend they pay for their
01:02:50
Andrew Wilsonticket I don't pay for their ticket I don't pay for their dinner I don't pay for any of their [ __ ] I'm like you pay for your own stuff right isn't that how you you deal with your friends when you guys go out yeah I do yeah yeah so I
01:03:01
Andrew Wilsonmean so I don't know when you say like well we kind of made it sound like it's just uh I just want friends but also you pay for the date and dinner and then we we go out and do it again I I could kind
01:03:13
Andrew Wilsonof see a reasonable expectation from a guy like doesn't seem like we're friends seems like something else going right mhm does that make sense yeah I I see that
01:03:27
TTS Reader / BrianBrian loves roast beef Lael donated $200 my string like
01:03:38
Brian Atlasow big ladyy matter back like say a all right thank you Brian okay
01:03:48
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01:03:59
Brian Atlasuh thank you thank you you're Legend appreciate it cat okay guys if you want get a readin 100 TTS 200 like the video also guys drop us a follow on Twitch why
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Brian Atlas98,500 followers on Twitch get us to uh 98 ,500 and also let me do a couple reads over here on venon cash app we have uh MC rocker thank you for the 12 on cash
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01:04:45
Brian Atlasyou guys shout outs at various intervals all right so uh I guess getting back into your notes you said that you love being single uh and being tied down feels Bor
01:04:56
Multiple Guests (02)boring boring kind of yeah I've done a lot more in the past year than I ever did when I was in a relationship and maybe it's because the person held me back a little
01:05:07
Multiple Guests (02)bit but I've traveled more I've done more so I guess that's why I say it was boring to be in a relationship do you think boring is bad no I loved staying home and like watching a movie with him it was very
01:05:19
Multiple Guests (02)comforting but I think now that I've I just needed to get out of my system you know I needed to go and get what out of your system living life and like being able to do things that I wasn't able to do like go to the club with my friends
01:05:32
Multiple Guests (02)oh go go to the club okay yeah when you say living life do you mean like sleeping with different men no not necessarily it's just like living life and not having somebody like blow up my phone because I'm somewhere they don't
01:05:45
Brian Atlaswant me to be like the club yeah so when you were dating your uh when you were in your 4-year relationship uh he didn't want you going
01:05:55
Brian Atlasto bars or parties or this sort of thing no do you think that I want to open this one up to the panel do you think that this is a uh I guess
01:06:05
Brian Atlasunreasonable relationship St standard or boundary for a man or even a woman to have to not want their uh boyfriend or girlfriend to go out to drink and party
01:06:18
Brian Atlasand go to bars and clubs you think it's reasonable unreasonable insecure we'll start with you go ahead sorry go ahead it's unreasonable I feel everybody
01:06:28
Multiple Guests (02)should be able to enjoy and live their life like for me personally if I feel like hey I want to go backpacking for a month I'm going to go do it you get one
01:06:38
Multiple Guests (02)life spend it how you want as long as you're respectful to each other and you trust the person like why does it matter if your partner wants to go out and have fun with their friends it shouldn't matter
01:06:51
Multiple Guests (02)mhm uh I guess before I'll respond to anybody in particular we'll get everybody's take what about um I think it depends on like your boundaries and your relationship
01:07:00
Multiple Guests (02)specifically but um I I believe like a proper healthy relationship has um you know a certain amount of trust and respect and going out and whatnot
01:07:12
Multiple Guests (02)shouldn't be an issue if you have that in your relationship um as long as it's obviously not excessive you know okay I think we already got your take on this what about you I think it depends I
01:07:23
Multiple Guests (02)think again with the boundaries but but if you want to go to like lunch with your girlfriends or guy friends or whatever cool but I I don't think you should be partying and drinking and
01:07:34
Multiple Guests (02)stuff without your partner without your partner yeah okay but your position would be it's okay if you go with them yeah I think if they're with you then yeah but out going to the clubs and stuff without I don't with your single gal Pals you're kind of I don't agree
01:07:48
Multiple Guests (02)with it sure what about you um I kind of think it depends I mean I do think you have to have a lot of trust in a relationship in general and you should be able to trust them to be out without you um but I don't think
01:08:00
Tessait's unreasonable for somebody to have a preference against them sure what about you um I I don't really care I'm not a big club person but if someone I dated wanted to go out to a bar I I I would
01:08:13
Brian Atlascare whatever what about this so you're dating a guy and he says uh part I suppose a condition of us being in a monogamous relationship is I would have an expectation that you're not going to
01:08:24
Tessabars or clubs and the ho I love a good dive bar and smoking inside and getting a beer that would be hard to give up but you they could just go with you yeah let's say he goes with you but he
01:08:36
Tessadoesn't want you going with your single girlfriends to like the hottest La nightclub [ __ ] no I personally wouldn't care cuz I don't like to go to nightclubs yeah it's not yeah so but I don't care if if they wanted to go out I
01:08:49
Andreadon't think I would care that much whatever sure what about you I think like out of respect like like they shouldn't be going to clubs and stuff and like partying I don't know that's just like disrespectful okay like
01:09:01
Joyunless they go together sure what about you um I think it's Case by case but I can tell you from my experience that um he's fine with me doing girl weekends
01:09:12
JoyI'm here with my friend for the weekend we a couple years ago we did Tulum girl weekend um he hangs out with his friends so I mean obviously it comes down to
01:09:22
Joycommunication I think it's unreasonable able if a husband's like no you can't hang out with your girls you think you think it's unreasonable yeah I there has
01:09:31
Joyto be boundaries though like I don't drink so alcohol is a big um Factor like if you're going out drinking then you're you know
01:09:43
Joyyou're you could make bad decision mhm but I mean there has it has to be boundaries there has to be discussion um but I think girl weekends
01:09:54
Daliaare fine guy weekends are five sure what about you I actually think that if you want to go clubbing you should take your partner with you only because I feel what if he doesn't want to go if he doesn't want to go it depends on the
01:10:07
Daliaevent to be honest I feel like well at least for me I only go to clubs if it's like a celebrity event or something like that so if it's something that I feel like I'm going to miss out hella for then I'm going go anyway but I will send videos I will keep communication
01:10:20
Daliathroughout the night I don't like when dudes go ghost when they go to the club because what are you doing that you can't respond to the phone I feel like it's communication that would definitely matter if you're going to the club without your partner okay did you say
01:10:32
Daliathat it irritated you with your last boyfriend because you were on the set and he would demand updates yeah but set is different cuz it's a professional background when you're at the club it's a bunch of people drinking you don't drink on set and I feel like when people
01:10:44
Daliaare drinking around someone you don't drink ever on set I literally have drink maybe twice on set for like so then you do drink on set yeah but like it's most of the time I don't know okay I guess
01:10:56
Daliayou you you have a point but aren't you on like music video shoots with Like Rappers and [ __ ] like yeah but they don't actually a lot of the time they substitute it with water like if they have a tequila bottle it's water and they yeah but aren't the rappers and like their crew or whatever like
01:11:09
Dalianotorious for like wanting to [ __ ] the music video chicks or whatever no because they actually don't like I mean i' I've seen them like ask I guess I guess they do ask but like most of the time you don't want to sleep with a
01:11:21
Multiple Guests (02)celebrity oh yeah yeah cuz they're definitely like not they're nasty they're nasty okay what about you um I think it's totally reasonable for your partner to uh outline their boundaries of what
01:11:33
Multiple Guests (02)they expect and what they don't expect I personally think it's a little bit of a red flag if you do want to go out all the time uh my husband has unlimited Freedom he can go have beers whenever he wants and I kind of expect the same from
01:11:44
Multiple Guests (02)him but I in bed by 9:00 p.m. um and that's my preference I don't want to go out and I have no desire to be in the clubs what about you I think having this conversation at the beginning of your relationship and
01:11:56
Multiple Guests (02)communicating about it is really important but I think if you're going to go out every weekend and party and get sloppy drunk I think that's unattractive in any anybody male or female um and
01:12:08
Multiple Guests (02)when I do want to go out with my girlfriends or just anybody I really just want my boyfriend there like I'd prefer him to be there or at least talk to him throughout the night um but I really don't like to drink or go out
01:12:20
Natalie Tasha Thompsonwithout him okay yeah I would have to say it's circumstantial but I would say overall um I think it's reasonable to ask that of your partner to not do those things um I think my biggest thing would just be it's what's your intention of
01:12:32
Natalie Tasha Thompsondoing that in the first place like why are you going out to clubs like is it to get girls like if you yourself are going out to get drunk like is it because you want attention from guys um so I would just say it's if it depends on what your
01:12:44
Natalie Tasha Thompsonintention is I think that there circumstances if it's a bachelor party or a bachelorette weekend obviously you're going to go out with your girls but at the end of the day if you're going to a dive bar obviously obviously
01:12:55
Brian Atlashold on what if you're you're engaged right what if your fiance says no oh to me going out I mean so you're Bachelor
01:13:05
Natalie Tasha Thompsonat party he says no maybe he would never do that I he that I mean truly I don't particularly drink and I'm not going to go to a mail strip club or even to a club for my bachelorette party I think I'm probably going to go up to the
01:13:18
Natalie Tasha Thompsonmountains and be in a cabin and maybe go skiing because that seems fun for me but um I think if he said no I would probably appreciate that because he would probably have insight to something of like what are your intentions for going out and trying to get sloppy drunk
01:13:31
Multiple Guests (02)on your Bachelor at weekend I also think that's like disrespectful to go to like a male strip club 100% even for like males to any strip club you're getting married the next day like what is your what are you doing I do think it's
01:13:42
Multiple Guests (02)important though for people to know that some of us do go out and we don't drink so I think like we can't assume that going out getting drunk like you could go out and not drink sure 90% of the
01:13:54
Paulatime go out and not drink and participate in the gang bang yeah in the what in the gang what about you go ahead uh I think it depends where you're at like when I was younger uh me and my boyfriends we always went out to I live
01:14:08
Paulaat the Jersey Shore like in the summer it was a big thing to go out so we'd always go out most likely together I'd go out with my girlfriends he' go out with his guy friends and we would meet up now that I'm older I still do like
01:14:17
Paulathe night life um but I go to more upscale lounges and um I think if I were in a relationship I'd probably go out with them more but I do look at like how
01:14:29
Paulamuch they drink do they always get drunk are they always constantly out I just make a mental note I don't really believe in like you can have I think you can have a personal boundary I don't think you need to communicate it like
01:14:40
TTS Reader / Brianit's a law it's kind of controlling controlling yeah the way they depend how you say it cool donated $200 very cool panel tonight thank you
01:14:51
Brian Atlasthank you thank you cool appreciate the TTS man thank you uh did you have more or okay um H so um this was in I think
01:15:02
Multiple Guests (02)in relation to something you were saying right Abigail how like when you were dating the guy who didn't want you going out I think the only thing that really bothered me it was the first time I ever tried to go to the club just with my
01:15:14
Multiple Guests (02)girlfriends and I literally let him go to the strip club so I feel like it was like and it wasn't just like hey don't do that it was like blowing up my phone wait he went the same night no no no
01:15:25
Brian Atlasthis was like before he you know he went so you had let him go to the strip club and you didn't have a problem with it now that you want to go to the bar club yeah cuz I was freshly 21 yeah and I
01:15:37
Multiple Guests (02)just was like I want to experience this with my friends go dance and it I didn't I probably went in for like 5 minutes but he was blowing up my phone so much that I actually ended up leaving cuz I was very very upset got it okay wow yeah
01:15:50
Daliawow that's a double standard yeah yeah you was yeah I'm not sure if it is devil standard why do you think the strip club is different than the regular club for I think it's Club well I think it's
01:16:02
Brian Atlasdifferent in a couple ways so one let's if we were comparing men going to bars and clubs versus women going to bars and clubs I definitely think there's there's a massive difference there but the strip
01:16:14
Brian Atlasclub versus the bar comparison first off none of the strippers will ever [ __ ] him ever like if you're a customer at a strip club the girls don't [ __ ] the customers mostly right like you find them true that's yeah exactly well you
01:16:27
Brian Atlasthey'll you'll prostitute yourself out to them right not you but like a lot of them prostitute on the side but like Mo would you agree that most of the
01:16:38
Brian Atlasstrippers most of the dancers I don't know if any of you anyone else says danc or whatever you've done stripping typically I don't think you're attracted to your clientele no typically
01:16:48
Multiple Guests (02)I've given literally like two dances ever where I've found them attractive even remotely like I I don't think most like so if you're a guy going to strip club like your chances of getting laid I
01:17:02
Multiple Guests (02)think are pretty low um oh did you want to you want to say though um with like The Bachelor parties I see more dancers going after the bachelor versus the guys that he he
01:17:13
Brian Atlasis with oh okay interesting interesting uh we'll come right back to it I just want to thank Ogle yo Ogle thank you for the gifted 50 memberships man guys W's
01:17:22
Brian Atlasin the chat for Ogle with a big gifted big 50 gifted uh Ogle is you popped like two champagne balls last time you're that was wild man thank you uh you're a legend good to see you back in the chat
01:17:34
Brian AtlasOgle thank you so much um by the way I think I sent you a message on the Discord it's brickson on Discord I sent you a message I had a question for you unrelated to anything but check it out
01:17:45
Brian Atlasum so going back to this the whole strip club scenario I think there's a major difference like as a girl if you're going to the bar club like the guys who are going to be approaching you they have like an enthusiastic interest in
01:17:56
Brian Atlasactually sleeping with you whereas yeah like those strippers maybe they're trying to like get your dude's money and sleep with it or excuse me not uh not sleep with him uh they they want to
01:18:07
Brian Atlasmaybe get a dance or like have him pay for a dance but there's like very low probability that he's going to actually cheat on you in terms of sleeping with her maybe you view like getting a dances
01:18:19
Brian Atlascheating that's another conversation but like in terms of like a romantic Pursuit he's his chance with any given stripper extremely low he's not going to get a phone number he's not going to get a date he's not going to get anything can
01:18:30
Multiple Guests (02)I just say something I feel like it's not the environment it's the person and it's how secure you are in your relationship like personally mhm if my
01:18:42
Multiple Guests (02)boyfriend wanted to go to the strip club sure because I know that I wouldn't date anyone that I can't trust mhm that's fair trust is a huge part of the relation trust is huge and I trust you
01:18:54
Multiple Guests (02)till you show me a reason not to so like from the GetGo I'm like you want to go out sure I'm going to go out too great we're secure we trust each other can I see something hold on I I do want to finish my point here on the double
01:19:06
Brian Atlasstandard thing then you guys can weigh in so but if we're comparing Club to Club the guy goes to the club the woman goes to the club I don't know if it's so much a double standard look I'm personally I don't drink I don't like going to bars and clubs I think these
01:19:19
Brian Atlasenvironments are uh terrible for a myriad of reasons but that's besides the the point let me ask you guys a series of questions and you can just do raise your hands do you
01:19:30
Brian Atlasguys agree that men and women flirt differently raise your hand if you agree like men and women flirt differently the way they go about it do you agree that men and women go about
01:19:41
Brian Atlasfinding a partner differently yes yeah do you agree that men are typically pursuers and women are the pursuit yes not anymore I know
01:19:51
Brian Atlasreally sassy men are the typically the pursuers and women are the pursued show hands raise your hands so you think women overwhelmingly initiate first aides just hang on hang on just remember
01:20:02
Andrew Wilsonhe's saying he's not saying all women are are pursued by all men he's just saying typically so like typically generally normally what normally how does this work that is it normally men pursuing women or is it normally women
01:20:15
Andrew Wilsonpursuing men so have bearing that in mind when he asked this question again yes typically would you say that men are the pursuers raise your hand raise your hand that's everybody except you you think
01:20:27
Brian Atlastypically women are the pursuers so in my personal experience don't care no offense but do not care okay well then I can't answer but the the the question is typically though like don't you have female
01:20:37
Brian Atlasfriends yeah okay like Do You observe like the Dynamics like on Dat have you been on the dating app yeah okay so maybe it's the case for you I'm not men
01:20:49
Multiple Guests (02)pursue in my opinion but that's my experience right everybody has their own personal experience okay so your experiences you've always been the pursuer 100% let me let me ask a question to get some clarity here do you
01:21:00
Brian Atlasmean of the people you've dated because I'm assuming you've rejected men before it doesn't happen often I don't get approached you don't get approached you get do men slide into your DMs not really no not really no like if I pulled
01:21:13
Multiple Guests (02)up my DMs right now maybe it's your Charming personality I think I have a good personality but that's also object you know I think men are also very
01:21:24
Multiple Guests (02)intimidated by gorgeous women like and you are very beautiful know personality I I never well I'm not calling myself beautiful but I've just never I never get approached I never get DMS even when I was single crickets yeah it's cuz
01:21:38
Brian Atlasthey're like scared they're going to get rejected so I think there is a fear of rejection among men so maybe that wait how you're 40 or how old are you 36 36 um you've never been approached did you
01:21:49
Multiple Guests (02)go to college uh no you didn't go to college no oh wait but hold on I mean you were in two like long-term that's true and I don't put myself in scenarios where I would be like you never went to
01:22:00
Multiple Guests (02)like the borrow Club really I maybe like there was like a time when I was 19 well what's funny Tessa oh I I didn't read it okay uh but
01:22:10
Brian Atlasno nor normally no I don't I don't frequent those places okay sure okay um so I mean when it comes to Pursuit so you like with the men you've dated you
01:22:22
Brian Atlasgo for the first kiss like you lean in in for the first kiss you pay for the date you plan the dates no I'll plan the dates I'm okay with that first dates First Dates sure why not what do you
01:22:33
Andrew Wilsonmean I'm not asking if you would do that have you done that yeah why how many like he's just asking typically so all the first dates that you've gone on do you usually play in the first date or is
01:22:44
Andrew Wilsonit the man it depends but here's the thing like I said I don't really get ever well it's not that's not a question which Can Depend so it's either typically you plan them or typically he
01:22:55
Multiple Guests (02)plans them it can't depend it's either one is true and one is false fair but I feel like I would have to be approached more than the amount of times that I have in order to accurately answer that how many well if we're just going off of
01:23:09
Andrew Wilsonexperience it actually doesn't make much sense right because if you're saying within my experience uh it's the the man is not the pursuer but then if we find out well within your experience it's actually always the man pursuing then we
01:23:21
Multiple Guests (02)don't know how you came to the conclusion that men are not the pursuers that's the problem when it's directed at me men are not the pursuers most of the time if I see somebody in an environment that I'm interested in I will beine it
01:23:33
Multiple Guests (02)go up to them be like hi my name is Courtney I think you're cute here's my number that's it like it's if I want something I'm just going to why don't you ask for their
01:23:44
Multiple Guests (02)number I mean I have it's a mixture you know but regardless like what I'm saying is like I have no problem approaching because I feel like men in general and
01:23:54
Brian Atlasmy experience don't approach me so you've approached more men than you've been approached yes okay okay um and you said you don't get DMS from
01:24:06
Multiple Guests (02)men no if I pulled up my DMs right now they'd just be like either work DMS or like those spam DMS where people are
01:24:13
Brian Atlaslike buy 5,000 likes for yeah all right that's fair um it's typically a rare uh female experience to be the pursuer
01:24:24
Multiple Guests (02)moral often than the pursued but I'm sure it happens I think maybe just like how goofy I am I feel like that's always a big thing like I have videos on Tik Tok of me dressed as a hot dog like I
01:24:35
Andrew Wilsonjust don't think some guys are into that I don't know I don't know I've never met a man wait hang hang on you you have videos on Tik Tok it's yeah she has a TI if I go and
01:24:47
Andrew Wilsonyour face is showing in those videos on Tik Tok I mean yes some of them I am dressed as if I go to your Tik Tok Channel and I pull up the comments even if you're dressed as a hot dog I'm not
01:24:59
Andrew Wilsongoing to see comments like oh you're so gorgeous oh you're so beautiful oh uh you know blah blah blah blah blah I'm not going to see those comments there um
01:25:10
Andrew WilsonI don't know you don't know maybe I don't know I mean I I don't feel like in my experience because that would be that would be pursuing right that would be
01:25:20
Multiple Guests (02)men trying to make a Pursuit so I was really into Tik Tok live streaming and I created a fan base and a lot of my fans were like younger and so I feel like when I would get compliments it was not
01:25:32
Multiple Guests (02)from the perspective of a man trying to pursue me these are like young kids that like to tune into to my live streams and think it's funny when I dress up as a hot dog like yeah I'm I'm I'm sure that
01:25:45
Andrew Wilsonyou could have a much younger demographic of um of younger people let's say I don't I don't know like 12 to 14 or 16 or whatever uh I'm just saying that obviously if it's public domain there's going to be many people
01:25:57
Andrew Wilsonwho watch it who aren't kids and I'm guessing that they're leaving comments something along the line of oh you're so gorgeous oh you're so beautiful oh blah blah blah they they don't leave comments
01:26:05
Multiple Guests (02)like that I really don't get that kind of um Behavior I guess I don't know what the correct terminology is how many followers do you have on Instagram
01:26:17
Brian Atlas133,000 how many followers you have on Tik Tok 28 20 23.8 I don't know I would be surprised if you were not getting and this is
01:26:28
Brian Atlasbeing conservative at least a couple DMS from men per month I think it would be higher I I mean I look I could be wrong I'm not you maybe you don't check your DMs I would
01:26:40
Brian Atlascize definitely check my DMs because I use it for work sure I mean I would categorize that if they are dming you as Pursuit but if you're saying no that
01:26:50
Brian Atlasnever happens men never DM me I mean I guess we'll just take your word for it that if they are if somebody DMS me and their intention is to have me view them
01:27:02
Multiple Guests (02)as a potential date or anything they're not sending me the right messages because I'm not getting the messages that give me like hey let's go on a date it's okay yeah sure well why what are
01:27:15
Multiple Guests (02)they one sec um hey what's up or like I work in music let's do a session like things like that it's not I don't think it has to be a
01:27:27
Brian Atlasbusiness collaboration it would have to be like there is some degree of romantic Overture like uh hey what's up if it's from a guy probably would be indicative of like a romantic interest but if he's
01:27:39
Multiple Guests (02)like hey do you want to collaborate I mean these guys are trying to they probably still want I mean I don't think so I work in music and never had some wait hold on you work in the music
01:27:50
Multiple Guests (02)industry and there's not like producers who are trying to [ __ ] the girl come on I have never in my experience had a producer crossed that line with me ever
01:28:00
Multiple Guests (02)not approach me not make me uncomfortable nothing so that's just my experience okay anybody else here in the entertainment industry there's not like dudes who are trying to like [ __ ]
01:28:12
Daliathey're definitely there definitely are but they're way more careful with it now because you can definitely get sued or a l suit so Su yeah like wait if a rapper slides into your DMs and he's like no no no like if it's on if it's like in
01:28:24
Andrew Wilsonperson and somebody's like harassing you like that would be considered okay you know what I'm I always made the I did I did just want to quickly follow up I'm sorry uh your Instagram you said has
01:28:34
Andrew Wilson133k on it uh yeah and it has pictures of you all over it right yeah okay and you're saying that on your Instagram you're not getting male attention in your DMs from men who are saying things
01:28:46
Andrew Wilsonlike I think you're beautiful or you're so gorgeous or blah blah blah they're not that's not happening at all no
01:28:57
TTS Reader / Brianokay all right you been on this for I know I'm like where it go like I'm just donated
01:29:07
TTS Reader / Brian$200 now I'll pass this time the 304s here dilute the rest of the panel what does that mean what does that mean 30 it's an area code or something I'm not sure what he I'm pretty sure 304 has to
01:29:19
Tessado with like a um like like an area code and ho cuz if you put it on a calculator it spells they would not they would not say
01:29:29
TTS Reader / Brianthat that's crazy get out of here Tessa get your mind out of the gutter get your mind out of the gutter
01:29:40
Brian Atlasdonated has an interest St see that was clear see there's some for um Ogle thank you here I I guess I'll just bring it back to where I was
01:29:51
Brian Atlastrying to go so I I asked the panel uh do you agree that men are typically pursuers I think pretty much everyone said Yes except for you that's fine uh do you agree that men are more likely to approach a woman than the reverse show
01:30:04
Brian Atlasof hands okay yes would you agree that men are more active and women are are more passive at least early on in the relationship or
01:30:15
Brian Atlascourtship wait say it again sorry more active and women are more passive so men will take more init steps of initiative like approaching you asking for the number setting up the date planning the
01:30:27
Brian Atlasdate moving things forward going for the first kiss Etc 5050 I'm just going to do this and then do you agree that women are more likely to put themselves in the position to be approached just show of
01:30:37
Brian Atlashands in the position to be approach no no I get that's kind of a complicated one in any case when it comes to the double standard I know we've kind of been talking about some other things
01:30:51
Brian Atlaswhen it comes to this double standard the girl goes to the club the guy goes to the club why is it a little different so when people get into a relationship they agree to be exclusive monogamous and I think there's there is a societal
01:31:03
Brian Atlasunderstanding that both parties should not be actively pursuing right here's the catch though related to all the questions I just asked you women don't really
01:31:15
Brian Atlaspursue now you might have occasionally approached a guy or you'll slide into like some famous Tik tocker DMS or something but typically speaking again Are there women who will approach a guy maybe you've done it that's not
01:31:28
Brian Atlaswhat I'm talking about I'm just saying on a balance of probabilities more often than not more likely and I think it's probably closer to 90 95% of the time men are the
01:31:38
Brian Atlaspursuers women are the pursued so because women really rarely or even never pursue there is no societal standard that dictates when women get
01:31:49
Brian Atlasinto relationships they stop their behavior and conduct which is the way that you guys advertise yourselves so your way of maybe meeting
01:32:01
Brian Atlasa guy whether you want to admit it or not is through advertisement MH you'll post a photo on Instagram maybe it's a revealing one you'll go to the bar the
01:32:10
Brian Atlasclub you might say I don't go with the expressed intent purpose of going to the bar or club to meet a guy but you're putting yourselves in scenarios where
01:32:22
Brian Atlasit's likely to happen now if you get approached at Trader Joe's I don't think there's any issue there but when you go to these very specific social venues where you know going in okay like
01:32:34
Brian Atlasthere's probably there's going to be guys who approach me um I do think it's interesting that we've clamped down on men's the way
01:32:45
Brian Atlasmen flirt which is oh it's clearly cheating if you're in a relationship and as a guy I approach a girl and start flirting with her but we don't really clamp down on the way like the woman
01:32:56
Brian Atlaslike when the woman's single and the man's single both of them are single woman goes to a club man goes to a club man approaches woman right well we would acknowledge that for both of them that
01:33:07
Brian Atlaswould be cheating if they either of them pursued but women don't really do the pursuit so you still conduct yourselves really as if you're single even when
01:33:19
Brian Atlasyou're in relationships so you still go to the bar you still go to the club and so the reason men as at least how some of you would put it is controlling the man is actually trying to exert the same boundary and
01:33:31
Brian Atlasrestriction that has been placed on him because Society doesn't dictate to women oh well now that you're in a relationship you should stop the way in which you flirt which is not to be overt
01:33:43
Brian Atlasyou don't flirt overtly you typically don't go up to the dudes you don't slide into DMS you let it come to you and then you pick among the men who have already shown an interest in you so I think it's a fair proposition that
01:33:56
Brian Atlasonce you are in a monogamous relationship the man clearly needs to shut down his methods by which he meets women which is Pursuit but there's no
01:34:07
Brian Atlascorresponding expectation that women shut down their means of meeting men which is to put themselves in situations where men pursue them men can go out
01:34:19
Paulawithout hitting on women they want to have a drink with the guys they can go out and just hang out they don't have to pursue anyone and then women can go out and just enjoy a time with their girls and just say sorry I'm in a relationship I have a boyfriend well the difference
01:34:31
Brian Atlasis as a guy even if both people are single as a guy if for the majority of men if you go to a nightclub bar or party and you're just you're just
01:34:44
Brian Atlasthere with your drink whether you're with your friends or alone at the bar there's no chicks are coming and talking to you mhm but if you're a girl whether there alone or with your
01:34:55
Brian Atlasgirlfriends good probability chance that there is one two three maybe more guys that are going to come and talk to you so there's a differential there so yeah the guy well and to add to that like what Brian's saying the these are words
01:35:08
Andrew Wilsonthat I've never heard from a man in my life I'm going to go out dancing with the boys at the club that's not a thing which I've ever I've never heard of once ever never heard any other male that
01:35:21
Andrew WilsonI've ever associated with say hey what's up up man let's go out with the boys to the club so that we can dip never happened ever so what what are those men
01:35:30
Andrew Wilsondoing there do you think what do dudes do when they go to the club by themselves in a relationship have sexual intercourse with you that's what they're doing at
01:35:43
Daliathe club what do you think they're doing at the [ __ ] club so then it's the same thing it it's literally the so I'm confused like it's it's still yes a man shouldn't be going to the club and a woman should be going to the club in the
01:35:55
Brian Atlasrelationship but the difference is like if you're observing the behavior so if the man goes to the club and he continues his single Behavior even though he's in a relationship it's
01:36:05
Brian Atlasclearly cheating but as women your behavior when you're single and your behavior when you're in a relationship Remains the exact same because you aren't approaching guys are going to
01:36:17
Brian Atlasapproach you and look I'm not saying that like you could reject every single dude that approaches you but still you're putting yourself in a position where you're going to be engaged with some dude and then you got all your single friends there let's say you're
01:36:30
Brian Atlasout with your single girlfriends they're entertaining dudes and say it's like three girls and three like uh a girl group of three and a male group of
01:36:39
Brian Atlasthree who's the other dude going to talk to he's going to talk to you right maybe you're oh I got a boyfriend he's still talking to you are we not allowed to talk to the opposite sex cance I mean if
01:36:52
Brian Atlasthe guy's trying to [ __ ] you you probably shouldn't be like talking to him like once that's been established it's it's there's a there's a degree of impropriety where it's
01:37:04
Brian Atlasdisrespectful to the relationship to be talking to somebody who's trying to [ __ ] you but then wouldn't that be every single male because don't men think with their penis well I disagree with that last
01:37:16
Brian Atlaspart but like if a single guy is talking to you like a single guy could be talking to you and not have a romantic or sexual interest but yeah you're probably right in so far
01:37:27
Brian Atlasas if you're a betting person they probably are interested something I think it's I mean as a species I think
01:37:36
Multiple Guests (02)as a species where's this going okay I think everybody has thoughts about sex some of them are not controllable right I
01:37:46
Multiple Guests (02)think I I just I don't think that it's right to to say that you shouldn't talk to somebody of the opposite sex just because when
01:37:57
Multiple Guests (02)you're speaking they might have a sexual thought can I interject sure you go first then you and then you wanted something or are you get I feel like even talking to that person in the first
01:38:08
Multiple Guests (02)place is kind of giving that energy and even if you don't have like the I guess plans to cheat or interests to cheat it kind of opens the door for that when you're even like giving that
01:38:20
Natalie Tasha Thompsonopportunity to even arise in the first place so I view it as a problem honestly yeah I would have to agree um I mean I'm just going to kind of bring it to a marriage standpoint that's what I do for work so that's what I'm going to talk
01:38:33
Natalie Tasha Thompsonabout from um instead of even dating because I think dating is just a holding place for what we should be doing and that's getting married but I digress um with that when you look at Affairs that
01:38:44
Natalie Tasha Thompsonhappen very few Affairs start with just physical it's typically an emotional affair that begins and so anytime that you're having aers ation with the opposite sex what is that conversation
01:38:56
Natalie Tasha Thompsonabout again like I would go to the point of intention but like any sort of intentional conversation I'm not saying go ask for directions to the local in andout or you know hey can you help me
01:39:09
Natalie Tasha Thompsonpick up this bottle of water or whatever else um but like any conversation that is going on I don't think it should be happening between men and women when you guys are in a committed relationship
01:39:20
Natalie Tasha Thompsonbecause what is the point of that if you're not trying to get into I mean you don't just talk to somebody for like shits and gigs without like truly wanting to be their friend or have an emotional connection with them like you want to be able to develop something
01:39:32
Natalie Tasha Thompsonmore with them even if it's just a friendship what's wrong with having friends of the opposite sex though it just opens the door to the potential of something happening because why be close with somebody if it's not going to lead
01:39:44
Natalie Tasha Thompsonto something further type thing because we're humans I know but I think that that's where we're built to have female friendships as females and male friendships as males I think if you're kind of Crossing those lines it's going
01:39:55
Natalie Tasha Thompsonto potential potentially inevitably lead to something more and it depends I mean like truly if you're single by all means have all of the connections in the world with all the men because that might lead
01:40:08
Natalie Tasha Thompsonto an emotional connection that goes further but I think when you're in a committed relationship or a marriage that shouldn't be something where you're just texting a dude or calling him late at night like that seems like a boundary
01:40:20
Natalie Tasha Thompsonthat's no no no for sure but like that is where those doors begin to open or venting about your relationship to a friend a of you just say that men think
01:40:31
Andrew Wilsonwith their penis isn't that what you just said yeah so that but then so you say men think with their penis why can't I have guy friends that's a very strange
01:40:42
Multiple Guests (02)reconciliation that you now need to make right but I also said that in general people I mean we all have random thoughts about sex it it happens like it's just right in our DNA right like
01:40:54
Andrew Wilsonsome females have it to but to act to act on a thing requires thinking of the thing to begin with so if you're a man and by your metric thinking with your penis right in order to act that thing
01:41:06
Andrew Wilsonthat you're thinking about out you have to think of it first right you can't act a thing out that you don't think about so if if if in your head men are
01:41:15
Andrew Wilsonthinking about sex right well then that would be the first step to acting on sex right m not necessarily just because I have thoughts about sex doesn't mean I'm going to act on it yeah right but can
01:41:28
Multiple Guests (02)you act on sex if you don't think about it I don't think you can but huh I just think that maybe I'm just
01:41:39
Multiple Guests (02)like too chill right maybe I'm just too chill but I trust until you give me a reason not to trust I don't think it's right for somebody to say you're not allowed to have female friends you're not allowed to have male friends but
01:41:52
Andrew Wilsonthat's just my perspective do you mind if I if I challenge this real quick and we'll just see if that's actually true so can I just ask you do you have any phobias like a fear of spiders things like that perhaps I don't like
01:42:05
Andrew Wilsonairplanes yeah you you don't like airplanes I don't like flying I really don't no what else what else do you have that's a phobia that's it no there's no like if a if you see a
01:42:16
Multiple Guests (02)a spider uh you don't go oh my God oh my God yeah same thing with in yeah sure but I'm not that I think a phobia is a lot heavier than having like a standard fear because I think majority of people
01:42:29
Andrew WilsonI'm just saying like you may when I say phobia I'm just saying behave irrationally towards a thing that normally flying flying for me flying okay don't like flying do don't you have
01:42:42
Andrew Wilsonthe reasonable expectation that your partner if you had to get on an airplane and was with you would comfort you through this irrational fear that you had sure yeah so then if that's the case I don't understand why you would put
01:42:54
Andrew Wilsonthat on him since it's irrational it's actually irrational on your behalf and yet you're putting that on them and yet here if your partner has perhaps an irrational fear that you may
01:43:05
Multiple Guests (02)do something nefarious even if it's not rational right it's just in their head right why wouldn't you give them that same Comfort I think you can give the same Comfort without separating this I
01:43:17
Andrew Wilsonlike creating this idea that you can only have friends of the same sex how do you make the determination of how you comfort somebody else they're going to make the determination of how they're comforted right you can't go over and
01:43:28
Andrew Wilsonsay well I know that it it doesn't make you feel any better that I'm telling you hey shut up the airplane's not going to hurt you right but yeah but I really comforted by that I don't feel very comforted by that Andrew when you just
01:43:41
Multiple Guests (02)said shut up the airplane's not going to hurt you okay so let me put this into perspective for you so do I have a phobia of airplanes yes do I usually cry on takeoff absolutely I still do it I
01:43:53
Multiple Guests (02)still push through it I still fly I've been to 24 countries I don't let that hold me back in life and I feel like with any fear or phobia on whatever the topic you have to work through that now
01:44:06
Multiple Guests (02)whether that's you know working through your own inner demons when it comes to relationships having conversations setting up okay like you go out I go out but like how do we make this comfortable for both of us I don't think yeah but
01:44:18
Multiple Guests (02)you you would agree that some irrational fears are not really a big deal and some of them are no I would never tell somebody that their fear of whatever their I would never tell somebody that their fear is not valid right final so
01:44:31
Andrew Wilsonthen the thing is is like if you have a spider if you're a woman who's terrified who raise your hands if you freak out when there's a spider tell the truth tell the truth I have a fear but I'm not like yeah and he go oh my God oh my God
01:44:44
Andrew Wilsonand then a guy comes by and he just takes his hand so this is what I always do right it's just and then the spider's dead I don't think about right and then and then off I walk I don't even think about it but for women they freak out about it
01:44:55
Andrew Wilsonright it seems very irrational to me and yet or how about this one any of you ever woke up next to a guy that you're with who you've been with long term and perhaps woke him up out of a dead sleep
01:45:06
Andrew Wilsonbecause you had a bad dream that included him in it anyone go ahead hands up let's see him let's see stop coping stop C I know I know I know so the thing
01:45:16
Andrew Wilsonis it's like all of that is totally irrational and yet it's like but comfort me the reason waking him up is because you want to be comforted from whatever this irrational fear is that you have
01:45:27
Andrew Wilsonbut for some reason Brian's introducing a rational fear that you could assuage from the person it's an actual rational completely reasonable fear and yet even
01:45:38
Andrew Wilsonthen you're resistant to it when when if you have an irrational fear you expect to be uh comforted for it so does doesn't that seem kind of uh kind of silly in a way no I think having
01:45:50
Multiple Guests (02)conversations doesn't make it silly I mean first of all I would never date somebody who ever told me that I can't talk to other males or have male friends and I would never tell my partner that
01:46:03
Multiple Guests (02)but that's just me I think every person is different every person holds different boundaries and values and I'm not going to you know that's it's just my hot take for my life right well last
01:46:15
Andrew Wilsonthing real quick before Brian moves on I know that we have a lot of people here so I just say one more thing on this so you said that you this is for Share three you said that hey you let your boyfriend go out to the strip club right
01:46:27
Andrew Wilsonand so like it seems fair that he would let you go out right yeah I yeah but I've seen this sneaky thing right that women understand that they'll be pursued whereas will not and so they'll actually
01:46:39
Andrew Wilsonallow that to happen thinking two steps ahead that well nothing's going to happen with him and that then gives me permission to go out to do the nefarious
01:46:49
Multiple Guests (02)thing yeah and I and I also after that whole day like like I didn't ever go out so it's like I guess I kind of tested my luck and I'm like oh I'm going to go out
01:46:59
TTS Reader / Brianand it was an immediate fight and then I never went out so I to him Kristen ated $200 I have females that I pretend to be
01:47:10
TTS Reader / Brianfriends with BC I've smashed some when their Partners slipped thank you chair one I would not be able to this without females like you cosigning the BSI tell
01:47:21
Brian Atlasthem all right thank you for the uh TTS I appreciate it and we have two messages from Lucas coming in here in just a moment um I also do think it's there's
01:47:33
Brian Atlaslike the potential concern when it comes to risk of infidelity like if you're drunk or even if you're not drunk but you're you're in a club this sort of party type environment uh I think men
01:47:44
Brian Atlasalso do this out of like a protection Instinct like women get their uh drinks uh what's it called when they tap uh what spiked thank you um they don't want
01:47:55
Brian Atlasyou maybe being in a dangerous situation there's often times maybe a fight break outad he doesn't want you to get hurt like a lot of guys it's not just necessarily from a controlling position but like the masculine urge to literally
01:48:07
Brian Atlasprotect you and protect to the relationship so I mean men are going to mate guard their girlfriend they don't they don't want you cheating even then though they don't want you being in a
01:48:18
Brian Atlaspotentially dangerous situation and it's like I guess you know you could go to Trader Joe's and some guy could try something at tjs but like we know these environments like you guys have been to
01:48:31
Brian Atlasthese environments especially if you've been to clubs in LA Los Angeles there's a lot of DG [ __ ] going on people are doing drugs girls get their [ __ ] spiked who knows who knows what it is um that's
01:48:43
Brian Atlasobviously very wrong but um we're just trying to protect you from potentially dangerous situations and uh I'm trying to think if there's anything else oh and then like you know I've seen some crazy
01:48:56
Brian Atlas[ __ ] like I you know I used to go to parties and college and stuff I saw crazy [ __ ] like people [ __ ] in the middle of the Party People finger blasting each other in the middle of the party never seen that that's wild can I
01:49:08
Brian Atlasask you a question hold on hold on so uh like you know girl like I never seen that [ __ ] go down at Trader Joe's
01:49:18
Brian Atlaslike or Costco like no chicks can finger blasted in Trader Joe's right yeah I ain't seen no finger blasting at the Trader Joe's is it quick cuz I got to move it on oh go ahead oh go ahead go
01:49:29
Multiple Guests (02)ahead go ahead so if the whole not being able to be friends with the other gender if you had a guy that had a boyfriend that had this girl best friend and wanted to go out to the club with her
01:49:40
Multiple Guests (02)until 2: a.m. and you'd be comfortable with that so my last relationship uh he has a childhood best friend that is a
01:49:49
Multiple Guests (02)girl and she and him were very close and I fully trusted them and I it never bothered me when they wanted to hang out without me because it's like what she
01:50:01
Andrew Wilsongood-looking yeah well I mean it's important right it's important to know because it could change the dynamic if she's not good-look so I don't mean is she good-look in the sense of you think
01:50:12
Andrew Wilsonall human beings are beautiful I'm asking was she actually goodlook okay so if she I mean if she was actually good-look chances are at some point they're probably going to have sex just I hate to be bad news but
01:50:25
Multiple Guests (02)CH are pretty high I no I think the relationship from diapers is a little bit different that's like a makes makes it different why would that be why would
01:50:36
Multiple Guests (02)that be different I think when you grow up with somebody like that it's a different Dynamic don't you go up I mean there's a woman right now who's married to a man she was in high school with is growing
01:50:48
Multiple Guests (02)up together so she's engaged to a wonderful man um it's not that's I I just I don't that's not I have to move it on sorry guys um Lucas you throw around terms such as insecure
01:51:01
Brian Atlascontrolling and trust but those are nothing more than manipulative tropes as a married man I can tell you that it distills down to Etiquette to which he continues by saying this will take a few seconds to pop back up but Lucas thank
01:51:13
Brian Atlasyou for the uh streamlabs message I do very much appreciate it thank you give me one sec there it is a respect for the sanctity of the marriage family unit and just as importantly avoiding even the
01:51:24
Brian Atlasmere appearance of impropriety as a husband I behave like a husband and my wife does the same yeah there can't ever be a problem
01:51:36
Andrew Wilsonso it's it's the same thing for people who they carry a pistol for self-defense the first thing an instructor will tell them it's the best play the best way to carry um regardless of where you're
01:51:48
Andrew Wilsoncarrying doesn't matter it's extracting yourself from a situation before you have to use the pistol that matters so you're actually trained in avoidance right to avoid ever be being in a situation where you have to defend
01:51:59
Andrew Wilsonyourself to begin with so in this case the illusion of impropriety exactly what he's saying is like there can't ever be a situation where this happens if you don't put yourself in the situation where it does so going back to your
01:52:11
Brian Atlasnotes Abigail you said your best friend who's sitting right over there is in the same boat as you she broke up with her long-term boyfriend who is your ex's
01:52:22
Brian Atlasbest best friend a week after you broke up with two weeks two weeks okay uh so was this like a plan no you guys plann this [ __ ] I mean best friends do what
01:52:34
Multiple Guests (02)best friends do you know we talk about it I went to her house as soon as we broke up and she helped me and maybe in ways maybe you need to speak on this cuz it's like I think in ways she noticed
01:52:45
Multiple Guests (02)that you can actually or she realized you can leave if you're not happy so maybe she just made that decision for herself yeah I don't know I feel like after you debate about it a for like you know a couple weeks or just have a weird
01:52:58
Multiple Guests (02)feeling about the relationship that you're in and then your best friend does it and then it was also the fact that me and him had argued about what we do now
01:53:08
Andrew Wilsonfor the fact that they had broken up and I don't know you see why um so this is this is actually a perfect example of
01:53:16
Andrew Wilsonwhat's often talked about with um men who are in the various ages of divorce so what often will happen is that women with divorced friends tend to
01:53:29
Andrew Wilsonget divorced way more often when their friend gets divorced and it's exactly because of this situation right here the divorce friend comes over and says actually you know I'm getting divorced but also Chuck over there you know I
01:53:41
Andrew Wilsonnoticed he hasn't been doing the dishes as much as he should you know he really he he hasn't been uh he hasn't been spending enough quality time with you has he and think about all the freedom we'll have and this and that it's but
01:53:52
Multiple Guests (02)it's purely coincidental that this happened for you guys right I mean it wasn't pre-planned at all it's just pure coincidence it wasn't pre-planned but I also didn't like I didn't go over there