Anti-Male Red Hair Feminist DESTROYED In HEATED Debate?! Tea App/UBER Reaction! | Dating Talk #253

Date: 2025-07-28

Duration: 8h 35m

Guests

Brian Atlas

BBailey (Nursing)>

IIsabella (Bio)>

JJackie (OF Manager)>

EEmily (Coach)>

Identified Speakers

SPEAKER_02Asia(guest)

SPEAKER_03Poss(guest)

SPEAKER_04Key(guest)

SPEAKER_05Bailey (Nursing)(guest)

SPEAKER_06Nyx(guest)

SPEAKER_09Brian Atlas(host)

SPEAKER_12Isabella (Bio)(guest)

SPEAKER_13Jackie (OF Manager)(guest)

SPEAKER_14Emily (Coach)(guest)

Key Moments

IntroAll 8 guests introduce themselves

Key MomentNyx reveals first relationship was coercive/sexually non-consensual

ControversyBrian argues Uber women-only feature is discriminatory, analogizes to racial segregation

Key MomentTea app hacked exposing 70K women. Brian announces 'Tally' counter-app.

Key MomentKey: held captive 4-5 hours by abuser. SWAT called. He got 3 months.

Topics Discussed

Guest Introductions

Bailey, Isabella, Jackie, Asia, Nyx, Emily, Key, Poss.

Nyx First Relationship SA

Coercive relationship: car rides as leverage, dissociation, non-consensual encounters.

Uber Women-Only Feature Debate

Brian argues it is discriminatory. Analogizes to racial segregation.

Tea App Data Breach

70K women exposed. Brian announces counter-app Tally.

Body Count Round

Poss 50-70. Key 6. Asia ~10. Jackie 15-20.

Key DV Story

Held captive 4-5 hours. SWAT called. Abuser got 3 months.

Transcript

Page 1 of 9

Brian AtlasWelcome to the Whatever Dating Talk podcast where we try to make sense of the modern dating hellscape. I'm your host, Brian Atlas. We're coming to you live from Santa Barbara, California. A few quick announcements. This podcast is

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Brian Atlasratioed Kanye West the other day if you want to show that super quick. Uh, oh, really quick. Yeah. So, he he I had a I had to come at Kanye. Uh, he says labia

Brian Atlasplasties should be governmentissued. Massive disrespect to the all the women with Audi's out there. So I had to I had to ratio the [ __ ] out of Kanye West. Um

Brian Atlasyeah. So anyways, if you can't catch the full shows, we have clip channels. Links for those are in the description. We have a Discord. We're going to do something special today with the Discord. discord.gg whatever. Guys, join

Brian Atlasthe Discord right now and I'm going to pick out uh I'm going to pick out somebody who pops up in our little welcome tab. I'm gonna give uh I'm going to give you guys a complimentary one of

Brian Atlasyou, just one of you, a voluntary uh role in our our uh Discord server. So, while we're waiting for some people to roll in, it's dis uh Nick, could you

Brian Atlaspull it up on uh Streamyard, the little thing? Yeah, discord.gg/ whatever. While we're waiting for some people to roll in, I'm gonna uh show you guys. So, go to the behind the scenes tab, Nick, really quick.

Brian AtlasUh go. It's u right there. Yeah. Uh, okay. Some beef with Kylie. We're going to do uh so last show this girl was like uh 50 minutes late and you know

Brian Atlaswe have our meet time's 4 p.m. We go live at 5:00 p.m. She's just way too late. So had to turn her around and then she just blasted me on Instagram with messages. She was she was mad at us for

Brian Atlasnot letting her on the show even though she was late. Uh play the the voice message she sent me. I literally showed that I was coming at 4:41. Why didn't nobody just say don't

SPEAKER_00come if you seen that I was coming at 4:41 and that was an hour ago. Why couldn't somebody just tell me that? That's absolutely un like that's crazy to me. Absolutely not. >> Crazy.

SPEAKER_00>> Like I been showed this and nobody said anything until now till I get here is [ __ ] crazy. Absolutely not. No. And then going back home is $250 [ __ ] dollars. Like, so altogether I spent

Brian Atlasabout $300 and something dollars to come out here and y'all are Yeah. Never again. >> Never again. Um, so the at 400 p.m. she messages us. Mind you, that's like the

Brian Atlaschaotic moment where we're bringing in all the guests. Uh it's really low on my priority list of responding to people on Instagram telling when they tell me

Brian Atlasthey're going to be uh egregiously late when I'm already like interfacing with all the guests that are already coming. So she she messaged us 400 p.m. Hey, I'm going to be 40 50 minutes late,

Brian Atlaswhatever. So anyways, that was behind the scenes. I post [ __ ] like that. Pull it back up really quick, though. Let's let's reward somebody a uh All right, who do we have? And also guys, I post hate mail. I get legal threats. I post

Brian Atlasthose. I post um wall of haters when people are hating. >> Uh oh, somebody boosted the server. Thank you, man. All right. Who gets it?

Brian AtlasLet's see who gets a complimentary who's going to get the compliment. Uh pull up the discord.gg whatever in StreamYard real quick. Yeah, pull it up.

Brian AtlasAll right. Who's going to get it? Uh let's see. Hm. Who's got a cool name? We'll just do it like that. Uh, you know, give it to Who's going to

Brian Atlasget it? Guys, we'll give you another 20 seconds. 20 seconds. Uh, who's going to get it? Scroll up. I I don't want to like screw people over who did it like two minutes ago. Let's see if there's

Bailey (Nursing)Who's going to get it? Who's Shave Your Arms? Uh, >> wait. At who? >> Uh, that's a good question. Who's gonna

SPEAKER_08get it? Who's gonna get it? Scroll back down. >> You know what? Shave your arms. Get Wait. No. Hold. Hold on. Scroll down. Let me see who else. >> That was cold. Shave your arms. Pretty

SPEAKER_08good. You shave my arms. Baited. >> I don't see my arms. Maybe it's me. >> Who's going to get 10 years? >> Maybe it's me. >> Uh,

Brian Atlas>> you win. >> Let's see. Who's going to get the free roll? Scroll back up. Scroll back up. Let's see. >> All right. Eric gets it. Eric Valhalla.

Brian AtlasYou see that one? >> All right. Give him the roll. Uh, scroll down. Yeah, just give him a recruit. He's a recruit. There we go. Perfect. All right. Welcome to the uh

Brian AtlasDiscord, man. Appreciate it. Thank you, Eric. Uh, we'll do that again. Appreciate. Thank you, guys. Anyways, uh let's see what else do we have. That's pretty much it. Okay. Disclaimer. The views expressed by the guests do not necessarily reflect the views of the

Brian Atlaswhatever channel. Without further ado, we're going to have the guests introduce themselves. So, please tell us your name, age, occupation, where you're from, education. Go ahead.

Bailey (Nursing)>> Okay. Uh Bailey. Um >> you had to um >> You forgot your name. >> Yeah. >> Okay. Uh >> I'm anxious. >> No, it's all good. Age? >> Uh 25.

Bailey (Nursing)>> What do you do for work? >> I'm in school right now for nursing. >> Okay. Do you have a associate? >> I have a bachelor's already some in art. >> Oh, in art. Okay.

Brian Atlas>> Yeah. And then I've taken uh sculpture. >> Sculpture? >> Yeah. >> Why didn't you bring gifts? You should have >> I did. I I brought jewelry. >> I don't think >> you sculpt jewelry. >> Isn't that like a different

Brian Atlas>> I had to figure out how to make it work during co Okay. >> So, you got you have a bachelor's degree in art. >> In sculpture specifically. Yeah. >> Have you ever

Bailey (Nursing)What do you sculpt? >> Uh, I make I do hand sculpting. So, like I have like a dragon head, a wolf head. >> Oh, okay. >> Like I don't I don't throw. >> Do you chisel? Do you know how to chisel?

Bailey (Nursing)>> Not I mean I could figure it out. You >> didn't teach chiseling? >> I I tried welding. I tried >> So do you use your hands? >> Yeah, I use my hands a lot. >> What university did you go to for that?

Bailey (Nursing)>> University of Washington. >> University of Washington. Yeah, I'm from >> Are there multiple U of >> Udub? It's like the big school there. There's basically UDub and then WSU

Brian Atlason the east side and I went to the Seattle >> but there's not like different like for example with the University of California there's uh there's like San Diego, Los UCLA, Los Angeles, UC

Brian AtlasBerkeley. So there's just one. >> Uh there is different campuses for UDub but like I went to the Bougie one. >> You went to the good one. Okay. To the good ones >> now. You're working in or you're you're uh >> stud I'm going back to school again for

Bailey (Nursing)nursing. >> Gotcha. Okay. Where? And you're from where? >> Um from Seattle originally. >> All right. >> In Jacksonville right now. >> Mississippi. >> Florida. >> Is there a Jacksonville in >> Jacksonville, Florida? Mississippi.

Isabella (Bio)>> Northern Florida. >> That one. Okay. What about you? >> Uh my name is Isabella. I'm 19. I am currently a college teachers assistant

Brian Atlasand I'm studying biology. >> All right. And are you from the area or where you from? >> Uh from Los Angeles County. >> From Los Angeles. Okay. And sorry, did you say what you're studying? I might miss that. >> Biology.

Jackie (OF Manager)>> Biology. Got it. What about you? >> My name is Jackie and I do my own Only Fans, but I also manage other people's social media. And I'm from Seattle and

Brian AtlasI'm 26. Uh any schooling or anything like that? >> No, I sucked at school. >> You have your high high school diploma? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I have that. >> Did you go to like city college or anything like that or

Brian Atlas>> No. >> Okay. Just started working. Gotcha. >> Yeah, just started working. >> All right. What do you And how long have you been doing OAF? >> Um since I was like 19 or 20? >> Six or seven years.

Brian Atlas>> Okay. Any other kind of s work like stripping or anything like that? >> No stripping. I wish I had the skills. >> Sugar baby, sugar daddy. >> I mean >> stuff. >> I wish. No.

Asia>> Okay. So, just the OAF? >> Yeah, I just do my own OAF and I manage other people's. >> Okay. What about you? >> Um, I'm Asia. I'm 27. I am a hair

Asiastylist. I am from the Bay Area, but I live in Los Angeles now. >> Hair stylist. How long you been doing that? >> I have four years now. Gotcha. So, and you said you're from the Bay Area, but now you live in LA.

Brian Atlas>> Yeah. >> Any school, university, college? >> Um, I graduated from CSU East Bay in 2020. >> And uh was it what did you get your degree in? >> Sociology. >> Gotcha. You got a bachelor's degree in Sos.

Brian Atlas>> Yeah. >> Okay. Uh and how long ago? Sorry. You 2020 is when you graduated. >> Yeah. >> Okay. And uh what were some of the classes that you uh had to take under

Asiayou forgot? >> Yeah, obviously I'm not using my degree. >> I don't know. You sociology. >> Sociology. Um I took a child development class. Um

AsiaEnglish history, regular stuff. >> But you So you took >> you took like some sociology classes. >> You had to take like >> like gender studies. Did you have to do any gender studies stuff or

Asia>> Not that I remember taking. I just there was like different history classes that you had to take for specific topics, but I took like Filipino history.

Brian Atlas>> Philip Okay. So, you're Vietnamese. >> Okay. Yeah. No, >> and uh let's see. Can you tell me

Asia>> what's like the one thing that you learned through your sociology major? Um, I honestly a lot of the things that I

Asiaremember like childhood development stuff. Um, but like a lot of our trauma does bleed into your adulthood and things like that, but sociology

AsiaI just remember watching a lot of Black Mirror to be honest. We studied episodes for a class. >> You guys watched Black Mirror and your SO class? >> That's crazy. >> For um for different types of lessons depending on the episode. Okay.

Asia>> Yeah. >> Like, so what was the what was the takeaway from the Black Mirror episodes? >> Like there was this one episode where each person had a rating and so it was

Brian Atlaskind of like a study of how people treat you by the way you're rated. >> Oh, like the social credit. I think I know the episode you're talking about. I've >> Black Mirror's been out for a while.

Asia>> Yeah, exactly. >> It was the woman, right? blonde woman her score was >> and then someone like ranked her down or something like she was like topnotch and then someone was like oh forget this

Asialady and ranked her down and then she started getting treated less than because her rank was going down. >> Was there any like socio socioological

Brian Atlasthing that that you learned that you could bestow upon us from your education? >> I'm a hair stylist now. Um, >> yeah, but you got your degree.

Brian Atlas>> I know. I uh I don't know. I'm a firm believer in pretty privilege. >> And that's something I wrote a huge paper on. >> So they they taught about pretty

Asiaprivilege and >> Yeah. >> Well, like in a sense, yes. But um I wrote they taught about priv pretty privilege, but I also wrote an essay of like the backhand of it.

Isabella (Bio)>> Wait, Nick, leave. This one's kind of funny. Uh Isabella, can you read this? >> Shout out to Hot Topic for allowing their employees to be available tonight for the show. >> All right, that's funny. That's a funny one. We got We got this. A Hot Topic.

Brian Atlas>> You guys just came from the My Chemical Romance concert. Um >> All right, you can uh exit out of that. Thank you, man. Um so, okay. Give me give me uh give me one other thing that

Brian Atlasyou learned that that the sociology degree, you know, has taught you or whatever. Um,

AsiaI guess a lot of people don't live like leave their neighborhoods when they come from neighborhoods that are lower income because they feel like they owe it to them to like not in a sense make it out

Brian Atlasbut give back. >> Okay. Um, but like I'm thinking more of a like a higher level sociological principle. Like what are the principles of

Asia>> I'm not going to lie to you. I barely went to school. Like I I that's why >> how did you get a degree? >> I passed my classes. It I went to two commuter schools. So it's like attendance was never really

Brian Atlas>> right. But sure, even even if you never went to class, but certainly to pass the class, you must have learned something or >> I mean, I feel like I shared like three different things. >> Well, okay. You watch the black black mirror.

Brian Atlas>> I'm telling you, this is what happened in college. >> Pretty privilege. And then people who grow up in >> like the hood, they don't really leave the hood because they >> they don't leave the hood. >> Yeah. cuz they >> But do like rich people leave

Bailey (Nursing)>> where >> like >> like don't rich people just stay where they're at too >> like isn't that just where you know what I mean? >> Yeah, but that's better cuz they're rich. >> Yeah, true.

Asia>> Why would you want to leave rich? >> Yeah, but >> you want to leave them. >> Sure. But okay, I feel like I could just see that [ __ ] on Twitter or something. >> Yeah, a lot of it was just common

Brian Atlasknowledge. Do you feel in question you went to a private university or? >> No, it was >> what what was the university you went to? >> Eastbay. Cal State. Eastbay. It was a state school. >> Cal State. Okay. Cal State. That's a good system, I guess. Um, do you uh did

Asiayou have a scholarship or >> No, I paid out of pocket. >> Just curious, how much total was it? Are you still paying your student debt or >> um sugar daddy? >> No, I don't have a sugar daddy. Okay. Um,

Brian Atlaswhen I got my diploma, my student loans were at, I think, 24,000. >> Okay. Do you feel like based off what you learned, your degree, do you feel like and spending all that time, do you

Asiafeel like it was worth it? >> Honestly, I did it for my parents. So, my parents are from a different country. Like, I don't like school. >> Okay. >> So, >> yeah, >> my parents wanted a degree. I gave it to them. That's why I went to cosmetology

Possschool. Okay. >> Was cuz that's what I wanted to do. >> Okay. So, why did you pick social like so I can't say it sociology? >> Sociology. >> Sociology.

Asia>> That if you're not going to do anything with it in your future career. >> Um, I wanted to go into social work, but I wanted to work with juvenile kids. And

Asiawhen I graduated college, I was 20, 21, and so I wasn't ready yet emotionally. And so, my last semester of college, I went to cosmetology school and it stuck.

AsiaSo, >> okay. So, you were basically you weren't taking it super seriously. >> No. >> All right. Gotcha. >> So, it sounds like it was kind of a waste >> in a sense. Like, I could go back for my

Brian Atlasmasters, but I don't choose to. Like, I like hair stylist. Yeah. I like being a hair stylist. >> Okay. Uh, really quick, guys, we're going to uh Nick, pull up the shop whatever.com. Going to shout a couple people out because we have some people

Brian Atlaswho purchased uh Yeah. >> Oh, you want to go? >> Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. Uh, Bean Boy, thank for the purchase of a shirt, it looks like. Thank you. Thank you. And then, uh, shave your arms. What the

Brian Atlas[ __ ] How did I not win? He also bought himself a t-shirt. >> You know what? You know, uh, maybe we got to we got to >> applaud. >> All right. You know, Nick, the Discord. All right, guys. Discord.gg/ whatever. We're going to hook our boy up. He

Brian Atlasbought a shirt, so we're going to hook him up. That's just just for shave your arms, you know. Just for shave your arms. I kind of I kind of baited him a little bit. uh pull it pull it up here so we can see it. And then guys, you can

Brian Atlasif you want really quick discord.gg whatever uh become a member. Can you scroll up and try to find it? I think yeah, it was definitely higher up. No,

Brian Atlas>> scroll up. Scroll. There it is. All right. Hook him up with a roll. Thank you for purchasing a shirt, man. Uh recruits. Yeah. All right. Welcome to the Discord, brother.

Brian AtlasThank you. Thank you. Appreciate it. We have Cat GPT gifted 50 memberships. Thank you so much, man. Really appreciate it. And then uh thank you for 50 gifted

Brian Atlasmemberships. Oh my goodness, guys. W's in the chat for cat in the YouTube chat. That was very nice of her. And then did that come through the this one? Hold on. Simp pull Jack,

Brian Atlas>> thank for the membership, man. Or sorry, not the membership, the uh >> the shop.what whatever.com t-shirt purchase, man. Appreciate it. All right, so uh what about you?

Nyx>> Uh my name is Nyx. I'm 19. Um I'm in school right now, but I also work as a retail cashier and I'm from Santa Clarita, California. >> All right. What are you, uh studying at school? >> I'm studying cinematic arts at Cal State Long Beach.

Brian Atlas>> Cinematic arts. Okay. And then what do you want to do after school? >> Um I want to be a producer, like film producer. >> All right, cool. And Nyx, is that your government name or is that your uh your

Brian Atlasstage name? >> Stage name. Sure. >> Or your uh your >> nickname. Is that the word? >> Your gamer tag or something? >> Yeah, that was my gamer tag. >> Is that how you like Fortnite? You're just

Brian Atlas>> No, not Fortnite. Not Fortnite. >> Just when I was like crazy. >> You strike me as like a uh Hold on. What game does she play? >> Call of Duty. >> What's that? No, not COD.

Nyx>> What's the con? >> Are you thinking of like Animal Crossing? Like that kind of game? >> Mine Minecraft. Wait, >> is that the >> That's a game. >> Yeah, that's a game building stuff. >> Yeah. Yeah. Mine >> Minecraft. >> Minecraft.

Brian Atlas>> Yeah. I don't know. >> The whole movie just came out. >> That's okay. That's your gamer tag or whatever. >> Yeah. Actually, I don't game, but yeah, that's my gamer tag. >> Oh, okay. Cool. >> All right. So, Nyx, is it short for something? >> I just like it. N IIX

Nyx>> Y N YX >> NYX. Okay. >> Is the Y silent? >> No, that's instead of an I, it's a Y cuz I like that better. >> Like is it true for Nikki? >> No, it's just Nick.

Brian Atlas>> That's your actual like government name, legal name or >> it's not it's okay. I'm going to call you Nikita, I guess, for the rest of >> like dragon.

Emily (Coach)>> What about you? >> I'm Emily. I'm 22. I'm a coach and I'm about to complete my degree at Lyola for psychology. >> All right, cool. And uh where are you from? >> Oh, I'm from Orange, California.

Key>> All right, welcome back. What about you? >> I'm Key. I'm 35. I'm from Snowomish County, Washington, unemployed um out of corporate America. Uh

Brian Atlascurrently in school for bachelor's in finance. >> Gotcha. Okay. any uh you have a bachelor's in finance or sorry you're >> yeah currently in school for >> you're working on it that's what I meant

Possyeah all right what about you >> hi my name is Poss I am 22 years old um I grew up in Santa Barbara and I'm

Posscurrently not really in school but I do take courses at a dental school I work in dental as an RDA >> okay and uh any work any job anything

Brian Atlaslike I thought I just said it. >> Oh. >> Um, I work as an RDA at a dental office. >> Okay. Gotcha. I thought that was like a component of the schooling that you're

Possyou're doing, but that's okay. And do you have an associates degree or anything like that? >> Um, yeah. I um so I actually didn't

Possfinish my last year of of college, but I did finish with um my um was I guess like a degree in math and architectural engineering. Not that I'm doing anything with it.

Brian Atlas>> Rock and roll. Cool. >> That's real. >> Uh all right, we have Thank you Assyrian Michelle for the Oh, did it not come up or just like comes up very briefly? Thank you for the uh merch purchase. Really appreciate it. Thank you. Thank

Brian Atlasyou. That's shop.what whatever.com, guys, if you want to get your own t-shirt, hoodie, whatever. All right, going around the table once more. What is your current relationship status? If you're single, how long have you been

Bailey (Nursing)single? And longest relationship. >> Um, I'm single. I've been single for a a little over a year. And then longest

Bailey (Nursing)relationship is four years. >> Is that the one that ended a year ago? No, >> that was two years. >> That one was two years. Okay. >> Yeah. So, I've only had two serious relationships. One was four years, one was two years.

Brian Atlas>> Gotcha. The most recent one, the two-year one. Who broke up with who? >> He broke up with me. >> Okay. The four-year one, who broke up with who? >> Uh, it was mutual. >> Okay. The most recent one, why did he break up with you?

Bailey (Nursing)>> Uh, I wanted kids and he did not. >> So, that was not a compromisable like you can't compromise on that. >> Yeah. So, >> was it he didn't want kids at the moment? >> No, he didn't want them point blank.

Isabella (Bio)>> Okay. >> And I wanted them. Like I knew that was like a calling for me. >> So, >> okay. >> I was like, >> "All right. What about you?" >> Uh, I'm taken and I've been in the

Brian Atlasrelationship for a year and 7 months. >> All right. Is this your longest relationship? >> Um, yeah. >> All right. Did you guys meet at a rave or where did

Isabella (Bio)you guys meet? >> Met at school actually. >> Oh, in school. Okay. >> Yeah. >> You guys had like a class together or >> Oh, we were just in the same friend group for a while and then >> Gotcha. Cool. What about you?

Brian Atlas>> Um I've been single for four years and my longest relationship was four years. >> All right. And then uh the one that ended four years ago, was that the four-year one? >> I mostly broke up with him. Yeah.

Brian Atlas>> Sorry. >> It was the four year one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And you broke up with him? >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> And you said you've been doing OAF for six, seven years. >> Yeah. >> Um, is it solo content, boy girl content?

Brian Atlas>> Mix of both. >> Okay. Had you done content with your previous ex? >> No, it was solo before we broke up. >> Then you started doing boy. >> Yeah, I lived in Miami for a little bit and did

Jackie (OF Manager)>> Oh, in Miami. Okay. >> Yeah, I did a little bit of No, just No. No. Jason Love. >> No, Jason Love. Okay. Just Jackie love. >> Jackie. >> Oh, you

Brian Atlas>> Jackie. >> Oh, got it. Got it. Got it. >> Okay. And I think nobody else here does OAF, right? >> Nobody else. Okay. Just you. Have you? >> No. >> Have you dabbled? >> Nope. >> Any dabblers? >> No. >> Dabbled. Nicks?

Brian Atlas>> Any dabbling? >> Why me? No. >> Oh, no. >> It's like no dabbling. Anybody possibly? >> No dabbled. >> Crazy. Zero dabbling. >> Yeah.

Brian Atlas>> Cool. All right. Uh, and do you have any kids? >> I do have a son. >> Okay. Just one kid? >> Yeah. >> And that's from your four-year relationship?

Brian Atlas>> No. >> Okay. Uh, from your what? >> From just like a hookup. >> Oh, okay. Are you about to be like Virgin Mary? >> No. Just the immaculate inception.

Brian Atlas>> No, sorry. >> Um, just from a hookup. >> Yep. >> Was it uh how old's your kid? >> 7 months old. >> Oh, okay. So, this is pretty pretty recent then. Um,

Jackie (OF Manager)>> so the hookup. >> Yeah, let's get into it. >> Was it like a one one night stand or >> It's the one I know, but yeah. >> You knew him, but it was like the only time you >> He was a co-orker when I bartended.

Brian AtlasYeah, >> he was a bartender. He was security at my casino I bartended at. >> Okay. So, you guys knew each other from work. Uh, but you guys only had hooked up once. >> Yeah. And I never want to do it again

Brian Atlasand then I found I was pregnant. So, >> Oh, was it Why didn't you want to do it again? >> Cuz it wasn't good. >> The What did you do wrong? >> It was just >> You did. >> There's no chemistry. There was just no chemistry. >> Huh?

Jackie (OF Manager)>> There was no chemistry. >> No chemistry. >> Yeah. >> Oh, that's just my go-to. I was I always blame the woman >> what I do wrong. There's just no chemistry. It was like mutual. >> What's that? >> He wanted to do it again, but I didn't. >> No chemistry, you know. Um, question for

Brian Atlasyou. >> During once you found out you're pregnant, which was how soon after the hookup? Like a couple weeks after? >> Like a month, month and a half. >> Okay. Um, while you were pregnant, were you dating anybody?

Brian Atlas>> No, >> it's totally single. No. Uh, how about when I say date, I use it pretty loosely like not you're not in a relationship, but just >> it could be casual sneaky link hookup.

Jackie (OF Manager)>> Not really. No, >> not really. So, a little a little >> No, I mean like it's like I wasn't hooking up with anyone. I really wasn't talking to anyone. I was pretty much focusing on myself. I flirt for fun like

Brian Atlasbut >> you were celibate throughout the course of the pregnancy. >> Yeah. I feel like that's like that's free birth control for 9 months. Like you threw that away. >> Like you can't you can't get pregnant.

Jackie (OF Manager)>> But like how do I hit someone up like I'm pregnant? Let's hook up. Like that's so weird. Like >> people are into it to be fair. >> Well yeah I could have made a lot of money but I'm just not out there like that. >> Capitalize on that one. >> I should have. I know. I know. Business

Jackie (OF Manager)you know for next time. >> Next my next baby. Yeah. Yeah. My next baby. >> Okay. Um Yeah. I don't know. That's [ __ ] >> Any more questions?

Brian Atlas>> So, was it weird when you saw him at work like, "Hey, baby dad." >> I avoided him. >> Okay. Is he in the picture? >> No. >> You have full custody? >> Yeah. >> Does he pay you child support? >> No. >> Have you?

Jackie (OF Manager)>> Cuz he made threats towards me. So, >> what do you mean? What kind of threats? >> He basically said he would steal my kids. So, >> Oh, >> the state was like not included. >> Who makes more, you or him?

Jackie (OF Manager)>> Me. >> Oh, okay. I'm the bread winner. >> Maybe he should have gone for child support. >> Well, he should have made He should not have made threats. >> He would have had to take care of the child, though, >> right?

Jackie (OF Manager)>> Wait, hold on. >> He's going for child support. Like, no. >> So, he made He doesn't want to be in the kid's life. >> He He wants me to not be in the kid's life. He wants to steal him because I do like Only Fans and stuff. He thinks I'm

Jackie (OF Manager)not a good mom. >> Oh, is there Wait, is there a current custody dispute? No, the state won't even bring him into it because they literally like he's made threats towards stealing the kid,

Brian Atlas>> my baby. >> Like he's he's from his own words said, "I'm going to steal the kid." >> He said, >> or has he said something along the lines of as the biological and legal father, I have certain rights to see my child. >> No, I wanted him to see him.

Jackie (OF Manager)>> Okay. >> Like I encouraged that. He said literally like you don't have a real job. like you don't have a real home because like I have roommates. I don't have my own house. >> Does Does he have any of that or

Jackie (OF Manager)>> he lives with his parents so that makes no sense. But >> yeah. >> Yeah. So literally he was like we're like if I see him I'm going to take him. And I was like okay we're not doing

Brian Atlasthat. >> Good times. Good times. >> Awesome times. Like it's >> But he's never met the kid then. >> He has met the kid. >> Oh he's met the kid. Okay. Yeah. >> Does he do visitation or >> He doesn't have any any rights because

Brian Atlasof those threats. >> Oh, so this was adjudicated in court. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Where is your son right now? >> He's at home with my aunt >> in Washington. She's visiting from

Brian AtlasArizona. >> So, >> and that's interesting though. So, you have you have 100% custody. >> Mhm. >> I don't get much time. So, I'm really making use of this time's not having

Jackie (OF Manager)fun. There's not an award of child support. >> No, because of his like they don't even want to contact him like through social security because like >> Okay. >> Yeah.

Brian Atlas>> Good times. Good times. Uh any guys any guys in the picture currently? >> Kind of but not really. >> How many? >> That sounds like a yes. >> How many? >> There's someone I like but that's it.

Brian Atlas>> Do you have side pieces? >> No. >> No side pieces? >> No. I don't even answer messages. >> Oh, okay. Like >> sure. Uh, all right. What about you? Relationship status.

Brian Atlas>> Single. And I've been single since >> your sociology degree. >> Pretty 2020. Yeah. >> Yes, actually. >> So, five years. >> Yeah. >> Single. Okay. Longest relationship.

Asia>> Three years. >> Three years. Okay. Was that the one that ended 5 years ago? >> Who broke up with who? >> Um, it was really toxic. So, it was just we broke up multiple times. >> Oh. What what did you do that was toxic? >> Um I didn't do anything.

Brian Atlas>> Oh >> yeah. >> Okay. You were Were you perfect? >> No, I wasn't. >> Did you give us Tell me three things you did wrong. >> Three things I did wrong. I allowed him to hit me. >> Wait, hold on.

Asia>> So then you walked right into that one, buddy. >> So I stuck around for too long.

Brian Atlas>> I did that wrong. And um I didn't walk away soon enough. >> Valid. >> Are >> wait. So, okay. You let him hit you.

Brian AtlasWhat was the second one? Sorry. >> Yeah. I mean, when you get hit, you should leave the first time. So, that's wrong, but we think it's not going to happen. >> Let's say, but I'm asking more so from in terms of the relationship dynamic. Uh

Brian AtlasI wouldn't say that like you getting hit, that's not you doing something wrong. Perhaps like retrospectively it was a mistake that you didn't leave sooner, but I don't think you didn't do anything wrong in the relationship if that makes sense. But I'm I'm looking for

Brian Atlas>> I tested him out a couple times. >> Okay. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. >> But it was provoked. >> You Oh, okay. He provoked. >> Yeah. Um Okay. >> I hit him back. That's what ended all of it. >> Did you ever hit him back? >> The last time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00>> The last time >> like that was that was when it ended, >> but I never did. >> Did you choke a [ __ ] >> No, I did not. Is Wayne Brady going to have to choke a [ __ ] >> Okay. How did you hit him?

Brian Atlas>> Is it? >> No, I beat his ass. >> Oh, you beat his ass. >> Yeah. >> Is he What? Uh, was it a white guy? >> Oh, um, he was Hispanic. >> Hispanic guy. Okay. >> Uh, so you beat Did you bel have a belt

Brian Atlasand you were whipping him or how did you >> No, with my hands >> with Okay. You you you gave him the hands. He caught hands. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> I don't do that anymore though. So, who won the the >> that last one? Me. >> You won?

Asia>> Yeah. >> Did you knock him out? >> No, but I almost broke his jaw. >> Okay. >> Did you guys wrestling around or something or? >> No, I don't even think I don't I blacked out. >> You blocked out scratch marks. >> You got Show us the nails. You got some

Brian Atlas>> Oh, yeah. >> Did you Did he get the nails, too? >> No, my fist was closed. >> Good times. Um, >> good times. Uh, okay. All right.

Jackie (OF Manager)She mouththed off a bit. >> You said, "What? >> Wait. Well, hold on. Why you >> I'm high-fiving her cuz good for her to stick up for herself." >> That's it. Don't make me cry. >> I mean, if a guy

Brian Atlas>> Well, I mean, nobody should put hands on anybody. I don't know if >> Wait, can I ask you a question? Can I ask you a question? Yeah, of course. If if I was dating a girl and she put hands on me first and I was responding in defense and I was like, I [ __ ]

Brian Atlassmacked that I smacked her [ __ ] around. But it was, hey, she hit me first. It was defense with and my bro over here Nick back there was like [ __ ] yeah you bride good job smacking that chick around you'd be like come on you

Brian Atlas>> no I really wouldn't if she was really hurting you I think you you were allowed the right to defend yourself >> like if here just started [ __ ] if we were dating and she you know [ __ ] punched and I just I I chucked her

Jackie (OF Manager)across the room I picked her up [ __ ] threw her threw on the >> Oh that's kind of also like half your size I think that's a extreme like given like I'm 410 so I think there's like

Jackie (OF Manager)levels to it unfortunately cuz it's hard to like really like judge the situation. However, I think if a girl or I think man or woman if someone's really hurting you I think that you are allowed your

Brian Atlasright to defend yourself. >> I don't know you the the short people throw down. >> We do. We do. >> Y'all hide your power. >> We're little psychopaths. >> Short people hide their power level but and you're closer to the nuts. Oh,

Brian Atlasthat's No. When people are like, "Pick that up cuz you're closer to the ground." I'm like, "I'm also closer to your dick, so watch out." >> Yeah. >> Like, period. >> Yeah. Exactly. >> I'll kick you. >> You don't know if this is going to be like turn out violent or like a seduction.

Jackie (OF Manager)>> It's crazy. >> Yeah. Yeah. But I'm not violent. But I do I do think that everyone's allowed to defend themselves, man or woman. >> Okay. >> What would you think if like a girl started hitting me and I

Jackie (OF Manager)>> slapped her in the face? Slapped her back. I wouldn't do that. I would be in the right, but I wouldn't do it. >> Well, like I said, there's levels to it. Unfortunately, it's not black and white. However, like if they were really

Jackie (OF Manager)hurting you and you had no way out, I think it's totally okay that you'd smack them. >> What if there is a way out? But >> I think you should try the way out. I should try the way out. >> Yeah. First before you should run. By

Brian Atlasthe way, I look also just prescriptively for the men watching, even even in scenarios where you would be justified in striking someone back in self-defense

Brian Atlasand she's a woman, even if you're 100% you should you shouldn't do it. You shouldn't do it. >> Uh just because >> prescriptively speaking, >> prescriptive. Yeah, you shouldn't do it

Brian Atlasbecause uh you know it's uh you'll get in trouble. Even if even if she's the aggressor, even if you know the the circumstances legally would allow you to

Brian Atlasstrike some someone back, you got to you got to just you got to leave the situation. You got to leave the situation. Get out of the situation as best you can. >> Trust me. Cuz >> the cops come, they're going to be

Jackie (OF Manager)they're going to arrest you even if she's the aggressor. So, you got to get out of the situation. >> Well, I come from a state of experience. Rest in peace to my dad, but I broke his nose cuz he put hands on me first. >> Fair enough.

Jackie (OF Manager)>> So, jot that down. Wow. >> Like 410. >> Your your dad? >> Yeah. >> He pinned me down, smacked me across the face. I broke his nose.

Jackie (OF Manager)>> 200bie, by the way. >> He would love He would love that I was talking about this. He was proud of me. He was proud of me. that you that you >> direct his world. Yeah. >> You [ __ ] him up. >> Yeah. >> Wait, hold on. How tall are you?

Jackie (OF Manager)>> 410. >> How tall was your dad? >> Like 5'8, but he was like 210 lbs. >> And how much do you weigh? >> Like 100. >> And you pinned him down? >> No, he pinned me down. >> Oh, he pinned you down. >> Smacked me across the face. I >> broke his nose.

Jackie (OF Manager)>> Why? Why? >> He broke my He was drunk. He was an alcoholic and he was drunk. He smashed my phone and I was talking [ __ ] to him. So he pinned me down, smacked me. Sorry. And then I broke his nose. So underneath

Jackie (OF Manager)him I broke his nose. This >> is a very healthy family dynamic. >> Yeah. Well, he's rest in peace. >> Obviously I have no father. So >> were you were you like young when this happened? >> I was like >> Were you an adult?

Jackie (OF Manager)>> I was like 17. >> Damn. [ __ ] That's heavy. >> Yeah. He was pretty heavy, but >> Wow.

Brian Atlas>> Not that big of a deal. >> All right. Anyways, we can move on to something else. >> Anybody have an abusive mom to like level things out? >> Mom's abusive. Okay. >> She's an alcoholic. Yeah.

Brian Atlas>> Oh, okay. >> She she threw like a ball of rum at you or something. >> No, my car keys. >> She threw your car her car keys. Your car keys. >> My car keys. My dad or my brother bought me my car.

Bailey (Nursing)>> Okay. >> She wanted to take my car from me and she threw them at me cuz I was like, "You can't take my keys." Damn, that's crazy. Anyways, okay, moving on. Uh,

Nyxrelationship status. What about you? >> I'm taken. >> All right. Uh, how long you been in the relationship? >> Uh, it's pretty recent. Um, I don't know. We never like I don't know. It's hard to

Nyxexplain. There's not like one day that we like said like, "Yeah, we're together." >> How long have you known them? >> Uh, we met in January. >> Okay. So, what seven months or so? And uh so you guys are boyfriend, girlfriend.

Brian Atlas>> Yeah. >> Okay. And wait, hold on. But it's pretty recent. >> So did you start off as friends or was it like from the get- go it was kind of >> We were like we met in January. We were

Nyxlike talking getting to know each other and then we didn't really like say anything about making it official being in a relationship until pretty recently, I guess. >> Okay. All right. Uh, longest. What's the

Nyxlongest relationship you've been in? >> A year and eight or nine months. >> Okay. Almost two years. Who broke up with who? >> I broke up with him. >> Okay. Why is that? >> He was just a bum. I don't know. He wasn't a good boyfriend.

Nyx>> Sorry. He was >> He He just wasn't a good boyfriend. And >> he wasn't a good boyfriend. What does that mean? >> Wouldn't take me out on dates. Just like wasn't very nice to me. Like I don't know. He was sort of Yeah.

Nyx>> Um, he also sexually assaulted me. So that's >> Okay. What? >> What are you learn? What are you going to learn? >> You could have led with that. >> You could have led with that. >> I don't like leading with that. I don't know. I don't know. It's because

Nyx>> [ __ ] >> I mean, what if I said, "Yeah, he sexually assaults me. I broke up with him." That's a bit intense. >> But >> hold on. >> All right, we're good. Um, >> also like in the moment I broke up with

Nyxhim because he was a bad boyfriend, but then later on I was like, "That's sexual assault, wasn't it?" Well, um, >> can you hold on what's going on back there?

Brian Atlas>> Yeah, you don't need to tell us. Okay. All right. Just go use it. Um, all right. So, can I ask you? You said you were with him for two years. >> Yeah.

Nyx>> When did the assault occur? Um, well, we were like, you know, we were in high, so we weren't having sex at first, but then like a few months into the relationship, we had sex for the first time, and then after that, it just kind of like snowballed into if he wanted to have

Brian Atlassex, we were having sex. It didn't matter what I said. >> So, pretty much like >> pretty consistently throughout the whole relationship after those first few months. >> Okay. So, just just so I understand it

Brian Atlascorrectly, correct me if I'm wrong, uh, initially the sex was consensual. >> Oh. Our first time was not consensual.

Brian Atlas>> Okay. But there were consensual there were >> there were times there were times >> consensual encounters. >> Yes. >> But there were also numerous non-consensual encounters.

Brian Atlas>> Yeah. Those were more more frequent than consensual. >> Okay. And when you say when you're saying non-consentual, are you saying there's a lack of affirmative consent?

Nyx>> Yeah. or like full-blown he's forcing himself. >> He was never violent with it, but it was definitely like, you know, he'd be like, "Do you want to have sex?" And I'm like, "No." And he's like, "Are you sure?" And

Nyxthen, okay, the most common scenario was um he was the only one with a car. I didn't drive yet. My parents would be at work. He would pick me up. We would go to his house and he was my only ride home basically. >> And it was like, you know, we were just

Nyxlike at his house. I didn't really have a way to leave. >> So, he w was blackmailing you. >> Not blackmailing. with a ride home. If you don't I won't drive you home. >> Coercion. There was

Nyx>> Was it coercive? It was coercive. >> I mean, there was one time where I was like, I'm not having sex with you. I like got up. I walked out of his house and he chased me down. He's like, at least let me drive you home. And I was like, I don't want to be in a car with you right now. But I said yes. I didn't want to walk home. I'm not I'm going to

Brian Atlasbe honest. I wasn't actually going to walk. >> And and then he would force himself on you >> basically. Yeah. I'd just be like laying there. >> Yikes. Okay. >> Yeah. >> You'd just be >> I didn't really know what to do, so I

Nyxwould just like lay there. It was really awkward. I don't know. I was very non-confrontational, so I didn't want to be like, "Hey, can you stop?" >> I tried, but it didn't really didn't really land. >> I don't even want to have consensual sex

Brian Atlasin a car. >> No, not in the car. He like >> like I don't even >> Neither do I. Like it's okay. >> Yeah, this is not anyways. Not the best. Like, you know, there's beds and stuff

Brian Atlas>> for consensual sex. For consensual. >> Yeah. For consensual sex. Yeah. >> Um and but so uh Well, I'm sorry to hear that happened. Um >> it's in the past. >> Is there I guess any reason like you

Nyxstayed with him cuz I mean this is really bad, like really criminal behavior. >> Yeah. Um I guess it was like, you know, I was young. It was my first relationship. I like I don't know. I was like trying to convince myself that it

Nyxwas okay. I guess I didn't realize that it was a problem until like I felt like I was in too deep. So I was like I don't know what do I do? Do I just like break up with him? I don't I don't know. And then eventually I realized like this is messed up. I can't keep letting this

Brian Atlashappen. >> Can I ask when for some of these non-consensual encounters that occurred that you would categorized as essay? Was it ever like he would

Brian Atlaslike there was verbal coercion? So he would be upset and he would maybe ask you repeatedly and then you would finally give in. Would that is that would you characterize that as something

Nyxthat occurred? >> Definitely happened a few times but more so it was more so like physical like I would like be what's the word? Like I wouldn't be very involved and then he

Nyxwould just like start putting hands on me and I'd be like what is happening right now? And but would you verbalize that or >> I was just kind of scared of him. So no, I never verbalized it. >> Okay. Um >> I just kind of like I don't know. I

Nyxstarted dissociating as soon as he put his hands on me. So I was just like, "Oh, okay. I guess this might as well happen." >> Did you ever go to the police or anything or >> I didn't realize that I should. So I never did. And then after the after

Brian Atlasthe fact when I realized how bad it was, I was like, I mean, if I did go to the police, what evidence do I have? So I just never bothered. And then interspersed with these times though, you said there were instances where you

Brian Atlasdid have consensual sex with him. >> Yeah, he was my boyfriend. I wanted to have sex with him sometimes. >> Okay. So, are any of these categorized like

Brian Atlasyou weren't like sometimes, you know, if I got a girlfriend, I'm not like a super 100% in the mood, >> but then I have sex with her. I wouldn't

Brian Atlasat least from my world perspective I wouldn't consider that that's consensual. You're not categorizing like times where you did have sex with him but you were maybe just like not super in the mood. You wouldn't say that that

Brian Atlaswas essay. Correct. >> Like are you saying like did I ever change my mind then consider that sexual assault? >> No. No. Like um I think we can all agree

Brian Atlasthere's sometimes when we're having sex there's varying degrees of enthusiasm. >> Yeah. Like sometimes I'm like I'm really about it other times. >> So you're just asking if like I wasn't enthusiastic and I consider that.

Brian Atlas>> By the way, I'm not saying that this is the case for all instances. I'm just asking were there ever instances where >> you were just kind of like eh but you still, you know, you still consented. >> Yeah, there were times where that was

Nyxthe case, but there's definitely like a difference and both of them happened. Yeah. >> Okay. Um so you didn't go to the police? >> No. >> Okay. Um,

Brian Atlasand I don't want to pry too much because I know this is like very sensitive. >> Cry as much as you want. I love talking. >> You okay about it? >> I hate this guy. He's never going to watch this >> because I know for some women this can be very sensitive subject. >> No, I'm over it. >> Okay.

Brian Atlas>> Um, >> he was a bum. I don't care. >> But you said that, and maybe this can like help people just better understand the situation. >> You guys would be hanging out. You guys would be maybe it was at his house, your

Brian Atlashouse, you guys be in bed, whatever, >> and he would, you know, start kissing you, moving things towards sex, >> and you froze up.

Nyx>> Yeah, I guess. >> So, were there times like, would you say anything? I guess there were a few times where I tried speaking up and then he would like back off for a little bit and then he'd

Nyxlike start again and I'd be like, "Oh my god, didn't I just say and then I'd just like >> So you >> you would then have sex with him?"

Brian Atlas>> Yeah, basically >> during Okay. Huh. Any girls want to weigh in on this? I don't know. Any girls have thoughts on this?

Bailey (Nursing)Sounds like coercion if she's like persisting, begging, >> "Let me have sex. Let me have sex. Let me have sex until you give in." Okay. But >> yeah, I've been in that situation, too. I think a lot of girls sucks. It's like

Bailey (Nursing)it's not >> consensual, but it's not like >> you're not stating any matter of fact. >> But then you wake up feeling like [ __ ] regardless. >> Well, you only give in cuz they're begging or like you feel pressured to

Jackie (OF Manager)keep saying, >> you don't want to. And then they like beg you to do it and they're like, "Okay, yes." So it's technically consensual, but you're pressured into it. >> Yeah. Like it's complete coercion. >> Uh Jake just sent us a raid. Hey Jake,

Brian Atlasthank you so much for the raid, man. Really appreciate it. Um well, I guess it's it's a difficult topic to to discuss, but I want to try to do so in

Brian Atlaslike kind of a uh like as gentle way as possible, I guess. um question for you guys cuz I've seen some

Brian Atlaspeople uh collapse a lot of different behaviors under the umbrella term of assault. There's like I think there's some stuff that's obviously super clear

Brian Atlaswhere it's like physically violently forced like some stranger jumps you and >> but like I've seen some definitions

Brian Atlaswhere they'll say if your boyfriend threatens to break up with you because like let's say you guys aren't having sex enough and he's like look I

Brian Atlaswant to have sex more. I don't think we can like I'm not sure I want to keep dating you if we don't have sex more. Would that fall under the umbrella of essay if the girlfriend's like, "Well, I

Nyxvalue the relationship. I don't want to have sex, but I will have sex to keep the relationship." Like, >> I don't I at all. >> I think there's like there's a distinction because there's a difference

Nyxbetween putting down a boundary, which is fair. If you want to have sex more in a relationship, that's okay. But it's also like if you're pushing that with the intention of trying to make her give in. Like if you're saying that, if you're bringing it up, it has to be

Nyxeither like we have sex and you know, we stay together or we just break up. Like you can't just be like, "Oh, she doesn't want to have sex and we push it." It's if she doesn't want to have sex, we break up. >> Yeah. I think it's just like a

Bailey (Nursing)preference in my opinion. Like it would be like Yeah. Same thing. Like you either decide to have more sex or just like >> we aren't compatible then in a relationship. >> A girl issue though either. Like I dated

Bailey (Nursing)the last relationship I was in, >> I told him he wasn't having sex with me enough. And he literally cried in my arms and was like, "Please don't break up with me. >> I'll be better." >> Yeah. I mean, it could go both ways.

Brian AtlasMaybe maybe the woman has a higher sex drive and she's not being satisfied. And she's like, "If we don't have more sex, I don't know if I can stay in this relationship." >> Literally, that's what I told him. Yeah. And he cried in my arms. And then

Brian Atlas>> yeah, but I have seen definitions where they say it falls under coercion if you're threatening to leave your partner. >> Yeah. >> Because they won't have sex with you. >> Yeah, I disagree with that cuz yeah, I

Bailey (Nursing)was in that situation. I was like, you're not like Yeah. satisfying me. So, >> I think it depends how you go about it. in my opinion. Yeah, I tried open honest communication and it wasn't

Emily (Coach)>> I was going to say yeah it's about the intention behind it and like about how you execute your needs or how you express your needs like because again there's a big difference between hey have sex with me or I'm going to divorce

Brian Atlasyou make sure that you don't have custody with your children yada yada yada >> but I mean smuggling in the the legal component of I'm going to like try to

Brian Atlaslike it's blackmail when it comes to the the child custody component, but like the first part of your statement of if assume Oh, there's actually something on this that we can maybe I don't know if I

Brian Atlashave it, but like if the wife is regularly turning down her husband for sex and he he wants to have sex and she's not, you guys have kind of made a

Brian Atlascommitment to have sex with each other. I agree. Nobody should be for like nobody should be >> forced to have sex but if one person stops having sex unilaterally. >> I don't see anything wrong with the

Brian Atlasother person whether it's a man or woman saying I'm not being within this component of our relationship I'm not being satisfied I want to end the relationship. No, that's Yeah, basically what I did and I was like, if it's not gonna change, like

Bailey (Nursing)>> So you were like begging him for for >> some Yeah, basically. >> [ __ ] Okay. >> And I was like, why don't you want to sleep with me? Like, is there something wrong with me? It made me feel like I was in the wrong >> damn.

Brian Atlas>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Good times. Uh, [ __ ] Well, sorry. I mean, sounds pretty wild um situation, but ultimately so there were times where

Brian Atlasyou were having cons consent, excuse me, consensual sex with him. Other times, sounds like you're claiming >> not consensual. >> Yeah. >> Um H

Brian AtlasOkay. >> Life be liing. >> Yeah. Life be liing, dude. Be like that. I think uh yeah, I think you got to both people have to have that enthusiasm. Like for me,

Bailey (Nursing)>> if the girl was on the fence about I I'm already turned off at that point. I don't even >> Well, yeah. No, I didn't want him to sleep with me. If he didn't want to sleep with me, that's why I was like, is there something wrong with me? Are you not attracted to me anymore? >> Like,

Bailey (Nursing)>> yeah. >> I don't know. Is it a me issue? >> Yeah. I would just break up with the girl. Brian conversation like cried in my arms was

Bailey (Nursing)like I'm sorry I'm insecure right now. Like he literally cried in my arms. I was like it's it's a me issue. I'm insecure. >> Well no to Emily to your point I mean

Brian AtlasI'm going to like if if she's sick, she's not feeling well. I don't it I don't need to have sex all the time. Like hey we can just chill. We can just have a it's not a big deal, right? But

Brian Atlasif it's like a regular pattern where she's like constantly turning you down, then yeah, I'd probably be like, "All right, well, >> I kind of think there's always an outside factor. I don't think sex just

Emily (Coach)stops." >> And here's the thing. If my husb like I >> I have a pretty high sex drive myself. If my husband came to me and was like Emily like consistently over a couple of months like you know was like okay I

Emily (Coach)can't I can't I'm not able to do this whatever it is especially if I was like married to this person like we would talk about alternatives we talk about like going to a doctor we would talk about his libido we would talk about our

Emily (Coach)attraction to each other we'd find new ways to spice it up in the bedroom so like whatever it may be I feel like that's the way like to be able to collaborate esecally Again, if you're married with somebody, if there's

Emily (Coach)genuine sexual incompatibility, there's also alternatives. Like, some people open up the marriage. Some people um I'm not saying that you can never get divorced or that you can never break up with somebody because you're not

Emily (Coach)sexually compatible. Um but again, you should probably try to work through with your partner. >> Oh, yeah. It's about communication at the end of the day. >> Well, I have a question for Brian. >> Sure. What's up? You said that when you

Jackie (OF Manager)get married, you're basically agreeing like to have sex with them, right? However, if you're not sexually compatible, like there's other ways to work around

Jackie (OF Manager)it, right? Like do you think it's always like >> you owe that to them? No. No prostitutes. Unless they're into that. Maybe they're into that. >> Wait, so what do you what's your question? I guess

Jackie (OF Manager)>> like if you were to marry someone and then your sex drives didn't align, would you be willing to meet in the middle in some way? Cuz I feel like marriage means you meet in the middle. It doesn't mean you owe them sex. Like I feel like

Brian Atlas>> it's when you get married like you're willing to meet them in the middle and accept them for who they are, >> right? I so I don't think I mean Christians probably have a different perspective on this but uh so I don't think that anybody owes anybody anything

Brian Atlasbut in the same vein then like where do we take this to its logical conclusion like do I not owe my wife certain things in return? >> Yeah. I think like you want to give them

Jackie (OF Manager)something but like let's just say like you're married for 60 years. You become like at least like six different people within those 60 years. Like we're all changing. And so I think that like you

Jackie (OF Manager)know like your needs become different and I think you're like always meant to meet in the middle personally however >> well I think one of the obviously consent is paramount consent comes over

Brian Atlasall these conversations >> but when you've made a commitment to somebody you have made a commitment to uh to fulfill their needs not just sexually but in other dimensions too we

Brian Atlaswould all rightfully reject like well I'm just refusing to meet my partner's uh emotional needs or their physical safety or whatever it is, right? So, I think there's a whole bunch of different

Brian Atlasparadigms where when you do enter either into a long-term relationship, monogous relationship or marriage, you've made a commitment to fulfill their needs and

Brian Atlasfulfill the needs of the relationship. This doesn't mean that somebody can, you know, force their will upon you or anything like that, but it does mean considering the other person's feelings in the situation. So in the case of the

Brian Atlasperson who's less desirous of having sex, it should be a consideration of okay, well um how can I look internally to see you know what can I do? What can

Brian Atlasthey do? I think I think it shouldn't just be like nope I, you know, I am just not going to have sex >> or hold on. I'm trying to be charitable

Brian Atlasto the person who's less desirous. So the person who's less desirous of having sex, they should they should do some degree of consideration and reflection within a consensual framework.

Jackie (OF Manager)>> Well, it comes down to open honest communication. Yeah. At the end of the day. >> Yeah. But same topic, but it's interesting cuz I used to work at a sex store and I'd always have like, you

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