00:00:12Brian Atlaswelcome to the whatever dating Talk podcast where we try to make sense of the modern dating hellscape I'm your host Brian Atlas thanks for tuning in tonight you could have been anywhere in the world but you're here with me I appreciate that we're coming to you live
00:00:24Brian Atlasfrom Santa Barbara California every Sunday and Tuesday at 5:00 P p.m. Pacific a few quick announcements this podcast is viewer supported heavy YouTube demonetization so please consider donating through streamlabs
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00:02:13Brian Atlaswhatever link for that's also in the description uh also just if you miss missed it on Mon on Sunday excuse me we got that Madison's blocking it at the
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00:02:48Brian Atlaswhatever Channel with that said and without further Ado we're going to have the guests introduce themselves so please tell us your name age location and occupation go ahead hi hi my name is
00:03:00AlissaAlissa I'm from California I'm 18 and I'm a student here at UCSB what are you studying I'm studying psychology right now psych and you're a a freshman then
00:03:10Missyyeah okay what about you hi my name is Missy I'm 36 I live in Kingston Ontario and I work in healthcare but people have
00:03:18Missyknown me from working in sports in the past all right so uh Kingston what uh it's like 2 hours East ofin what Ontario
00:03:28DianaOntario close to Toronto yeah okay hi my name is Diana I'm turning 36 Thursday and yep whoop whoop I'm a
00:03:38Dianahealthc care entrepreneur and um been doing that from St Pete Florida and you're you're RN is that right or okay all right what about you
00:03:49Blasiehi my name is blassie I'm from the south side of Chicago Illinois and I am a I'm in neat not an employment education
00:04:00Blasieor training age I'm 22 years old 22 South Side of Chicago is that the uh is that the bad side yes that's the bad side uh
00:04:11Brian Atlasyeah I born born and born and bred there yeah okay I've managed to Nick a few uh gunshots you you nicked a few gunshots yeah like they almost nicked me oh okay
00:04:22Blasieyeah did you do any have you fired any gunshots do you want me to do gun signs I can um but I'm I would be a little bit scared about when I come back all right are you let me show you this you
00:04:34Brian Atlasprobably shouldn't throw this is the you probably shouldn't throw no I shouldn't you sure H yeah you know just for your own safety probably uh well
00:04:44Blasiewhatever um so okay so okay you grew up there the your whole life my whole life but I'm I'm on
00:04:55BlasieTwitter now and I'm uh and you're you're on the streets of Twitter I'm in the mean I'm in the even meaner Street mov from the south side of Chicago to the Mean Street of Twitter yeah I sometimes
00:05:08Blasieget lumped into right-wing Twitter although I don't feel that way I I don't feel any way at all I just make jokes um and uh yeah that's that's really what what I've got to say if you got any
00:05:20Macyother questions no that's it right what about you U my name is Macy I'm a student at UCSB and I'm 19 so I live here uh where are you from originally uh the Bay Area like Sona County okay up
00:05:31Macynorth Nor Cal uh what are you studying at UCB I'm a film and media studies major but I'm probably going to double in comms do you know what you want to do with that you want to be a director get into Hollywood or well if I double in comms that's definitely more like the
00:05:44Macymarketing side I know some um girls who like uh what's it called internship at like Universal to do like publicity for movies and whatnot so probably more that aspect of it okay got it what about you um I'm Natalia I'm originally from San
00:05:57NataliaDiego but I'm a full-time student here at UCSB and and I'm 18 19 on Sunday wow 19 on Sunday and then uh what are you studying at UCSB I'm a sociology major
00:06:08Alexyso okay there you have it what about you hi my name is Alex with a Y I am 25 I have a destination wedding and a lopment videography
00:06:20Brian Atlasbusiness all right welcome welcome actually quick question for you on the wedding thing uh how many weddings would you say you've uh filmed for shot
00:06:29Alexyum I've probably been a part of somewhere between 70 weddings um as far as my own like this year I have like 22
00:06:42Alexyweddings so I second shoot sometimes for other um videographers how long have you been doing that for fulltime this will be my third wedding season like coming into three years yeah yeah three years do you keep tabs on any of the people
00:06:55Brian Atlasyou shoot for like have you ever sha the wedding and then you're like yeah they're going to get divorced have you ever had that experience I've had a really really
00:07:05Alexygreat no Bridezillas truly I feel like a lot of times family getting involved and having a say and a lot of stuff is usually where some bumps in the road come from but my couples have been really great I've been fortunate cuz uh
00:07:19Brian Atlaswe've had I don't know if you're familiar with Chase who we've had on the show a couple times yeah I don't know dozen times or so he does or used to do wedding wedding uh photography
00:07:29Brian Atlasvideography and he told me he'd like he could tell having gone and shot all these weddings which of the marriages were going to last and he
00:07:40Alexyactually like was able to pred predict some divorces I I try not to be in that mentality on their wedding day I don't I don't really think about that I'm excited for my couples so but I my
00:07:52Alexyfriend did tell me about him I tried to find his his photo stuff but I haven't yeah uh Mason oh my my Caucasian
00:08:03Masonyeah oh super awkward I love it traditional whiteness um yeah you're my Caucasian yeah exactly you're my
00:08:11MasonCaucasian yeah uh so yeah my name is Mason greguar uh I'm 28 years old I am a mechanical engineer uh but I'm currently switching over into Air Force Special
00:08:24MasonWarfare uh so I've been going through that process for a while did you have the mustache last time I no I mean I've always got the Top Gun you're doing the Top Gun mustache yeah it's little Classic Air Force it's like a ginger
00:08:36Masonmustache though yeah like my beard is also really red wow so it's I've it's like a genetic uh uh abnormality that
00:08:45Brian Atlassome I have a couple red hairs SL the beard I have half a soul there you go there you go uh okay cool so uh
00:08:55Masonand when when are you uh shipping off shipping out um I don't have ship dates yet uh because for special Warfare you have to pass this initial fitness test M
00:09:06Masonum So currently uh I pass everything except the run I haven't run in probably 6 years so I'm uh getting back into shape I'm about a minute off the time I
00:09:16Brian Atlasneed to hit for my mile and a half run okay yeah all right and but so you don't like they just kind of tell you the day before and then you you leave or you don't have any sense of when yeah so
00:09:29Masonthey try to keep uh special Warfare candidates in the same flights uh for basic training and then uh assessment and selection so I know the next ship
00:09:39Masondate for uh I know the guys that I'm going through the training Pipeline with it's uh June 25th so I could be out of
00:09:49Brian Atlashere June 25th okay yeah sweet sweet and uh okay that's everybody so going around the table once more what's your current Rel relationship status so
00:10:01Brian Atlasare you single talking stage situationship Friends with Benefits relationship married polycule sex cult Harum whatever it may be if you're single how long have you been single and
00:10:12Alissawhat's the longest relationship you've ever been in starting with you go ahead um I'm single right now I've been single for I would say a year and a half I
00:10:24Brian Atlasthink the longest relationship I've been in was like 18 months something like that 18 months okay so sometime was that the one that ended 1.5 years ago yeah that
00:10:36Brian Atlasone came to school year okay so that was like a high school relationship yeah sort of like sophomore to senior year kind of or yeah Junior to senior it was more I was a junior or I was like okay
00:10:48Brian Atlassophomore summer something like that and you went to did you go to prom was there prom no prom make it to prom no oh you broke up before the okay the senior prom all right rip uh
00:10:59Alissaokay and so but you've been single for uh you're a freshman at yeah UCSB you I've been single since I think it was October of my senior year yeah since
00:11:11Brian Atlasthen okay well utsb number one party school I mean you know there's are you an aity at I'm not no okay no dating prospects at all there's a lot of
00:11:22Alissahandsome handsome man at UCSB right I really don't think anyone here is looking today especially first Year's like no one's taking anyone serious is that what you're looking to do take
00:11:33Alissasomeone serious um I'm not like focused on that if like the situation where like I really liked a guy were to came up I would take him serious but I don't think
00:11:43Brian Atlasanyone else any flings or any shortterm anything shortterm nothing nothing oh okay not really she telling the [Music]
00:11:54Brian Atlastruth I feel like she's got RZ so I she does have r does yeah okay all right are you guys are you guys housemates roommates roommates yeah in
00:12:04Macyin the dorms yeah okay like so it's a triple no well actually she's our sweet mate so we're in the same room and then we share a bathroom with Natalia okay so it's like four people total two people
00:12:17Nataliain each room five people I have a roommate they're in a triple I'm in a double triple double okay two morees yeah see I see Good Times all right and um I'm trying to think what else uh
00:12:29Missyuh doesn't go down in the dorm room dorm room nothing no no dorm room romance got it uh what about you so um I have been
00:12:39Missysingle for eight years and my longest relationship was probably close to 2 years single for eight years yeah a long time when you say you've been single for eight years have you been selit for
00:12:52Missyeight years uh I have been with so for six in the last six years I've been with two people so yeah largely CIB it um not intentionally so but I I'm 2 and a half years sober so I struggled with
00:13:05Missyaddiction for a long time so I was not really like a viable option for people to date I kind of took myself out of the game cuz I knew I was like too much of a mess for a long time to do that um and then like through my early recovery like
00:13:18MissyIID put on a lot of weight I didn't have a lot of confidence and so I started working out and working on that but I find dating now is oh my God it's just gotten so much worse than 10 years so I
00:13:29Brian Atlasdon't want to waste my time with like some guy you know I want the guy I don't want to waste my time with someone so okay and we'll definitely get into you provided quite a bit of pre-show notes so we we'll get into as much of it as we
00:13:42Missycan congrats on the twoyear sobriety thank you thank you thank you very much what was it alcohol alcohol yeah so I mean like a long time ago I did drugs for a short time like because it was
00:13:53Missywhat was available um but that affected me like really badly and so you know alcohol more socially acceptable so I kind of fell into it just socially and
00:14:03Brian Atlasthen uh yeah just snowballed from there so okay I see uh so uh and you are on the dating app I am on we will do later on we will do a review of your dating
00:14:15Brian Atlasapp profile thank you for providing that why did I appreciate it it's a good one though it's a good it's good uh so uh and actually hold on nobody here has
00:14:25Brian Atlasonly fans correct no no no no and nobody here has ever done ever done only fans correct any form of s work no no look at
00:14:36Brian Atlasthat look at that making improvements whatever podcast they only bring on they only bring on these degenerate yeah this is your comeback
00:14:47Missystory exactly I don't know I think maybe I was a degenerate for a time well we can get into that yeah probably in other ways though in other
00:14:57Dianaways yeah more acceptable way maybe I don't know but hopefully yeah what about you um I've been single for 5 years I
00:15:06Dianajust recently um got into a relationship my longest relationship was uh marriage for 14 years all right but so there's a new
00:15:19Brian Atlasrelationship you're currently in a relationship mhm how long's that been going on two months two months are you guys boyfriend girlfriend or is it kind of more casual tile I don't I think as
00:15:30Dianayou get older you don't really mess with the titles as much it's like are you guys monogamous yes you've had that over you've had an over conversation about
00:15:39Dianathat yes okay we had those conversations early on and he was very open about like I think it's there's a difference between men that are a little bit older
00:15:50Dianaand like women sometimes on how they approach dating so in my experience in 5 years especially going through the pandemic where like you know dating apps
00:16:01Dianacompletely exploded it was like a man will find a woman and be like okay I want to just like Focus some men I'm not talking about F boys right but um and
00:16:14Dianawomen are more of like L Fair like let's just get to know people and not have expectations and stuff but oh I'm so not like that yeah that's a hot tap you're
00:16:23Dianasaying women are more so yeah because we don't want to get hurt emotionally so we try and like stay the distance and kind
00:16:32Dianaof have like options that's what I've always been taught by my uh older Mentor you know lady is she a woman or who your Mentor is she a woman or a man multiple
00:16:44Brian Atlasmultiple different women you had multiple female mentors who have instructed you and advised you to entertain multiple options is do I understand that correctly yeah when you're on the dating scene until you
00:16:55Brian Atlasactually get serious and you know if everything aligns just casually getting to know so two months ago were you doing that prior to meeting this current guy that you're now I was on all the dating
00:17:08Dianaapps well you're on all the dating apps so how many options 3 months ago were you entertaining um I only had a couple that I was uh you know considering and um what do you mean what when you say
00:17:21Brian Atlasconsidering what do you mean a couple of good men that at the same time seen getting to know them yeah but so okay you would be like on the you'd be this guy on the third date this
00:17:34Dianaguy on the fourth date this guy on the seventh date like until you become exclusive yeah that's like very common sure and so how many people were you uh just dating at the same time well there's a difference between getting out there
00:17:47Dianaputting yourself out there and just meeting people yeah and then there's a difference between consistently dating someone to get to know them so maybe two or three guys that you were consistently seeing for a couple oh yeah
00:17:59Dianafor a few weeks yeah and they do they all know about each other and like they were doing that you have open conversation and you tell them like I just put myself out there I'm meeting people like you're very up front so yeah I feel like it's like I'm dating like
00:18:12AlexyI'm going on dates with people or like him and I are dating yeah that's different it's verb so you were going on dates with people and the men were cool with it like they they were just like that's good you do you and let me know
00:18:25Alexyyeah I feel like early on you don't need to like when you first meet someone you don't need to until you have a conversation all that you have to get to know them I don't okay well I'll come in on this in just a second yeah but so
00:18:37Dianawhat about what's the most amount of guys that you've you were see like uh seeing at one time I don't know because the pandemic was a cluster so if you
00:18:48Dianalike u i so why don't you clarify the question like how many men was I meeting just like back to back trying to get to know or consistently dating because that's a very different
00:18:59Brian Atlasso how about this at the the peak of the cluster how many total men did you go on a
00:19:09Dianafirst date with in the period of a wow you one in I mean in the beginning
00:19:18Dianalike's context there's context there right like I I I got married at 17 I was married for 14 years I have five kids so
00:19:29Dianafor me kids for me to get out on the dating scene it's a very intentional thing that was ni that was
00:19:38DianaNick anyways go ahead so for for me to get out on the dating scene it's like I'm very intentional I'm trying I'm trying to seek a partner to continue
00:19:49Brian Atlaslike raising kids with and things like that right I'm a little confused though you you said you were intentional but you also said earlier that you don't want the title because you don't
00:20:01Dianawant I don't put words in your mouth I'm trying to remember precisely what you said you said something along the lines of you want to I'll tell you exactly what I said if you'd like to know what I said okay so what I said was the
00:20:13Dianagentlemen and I that are in a relationship don't necessarily need the titles we are exclusive we'd had those conversations we are monogamous there's something you said before that though
00:20:22Brian Atlaswhich was along the lines of like women um women should be seeing multiple men kind of like I didn't say they should be I said that's what typically is happening I don't remember Verbatim what
00:20:33Brian Atlasyou said precisely but what there was something else that you said that kind of contradicts your statement of you wanting to date intentionally that you kind of wanted to like explore your options basically because I would say
00:20:46Masonthose two there's also an intention there with exploring options you're getting to know people I think what Brian's getting at is you you express this interest in being intentional with getting to know
00:20:59Masonuh this guy because hey I got five kids I don't even be screwing around when I have like children at home I want to make sure that you're the guy that can like help me raise these kids so um
00:21:11Masonthere's that and you seem very disciplined and decisive about those things but then there's a very L Fair kind of attitude when it came to you're like oh I don't really want to Def like
00:21:23Dianaearly on I don't really want to Define it we don't really tie ourselves down you have to use titles because we've already had conversations around being anous and
00:21:34Masonexclusive there a generally accepted definition of like hey he's my boyfriend hey he's my girlfriend just in the context of this
00:21:43Masonconversation is hey we're exclusive yeah exactly like in in the in the I guess area of this definition we could say you're probably boyfri boyfriend and
00:21:54Masongirlfriend I'm not saying like you guys call each other that in the well when as soon as you decide to be like monogamous and exclusive I would say that title or not that's essentially
00:22:07Missywhat you're getting at I I don't know all I know is when I like I one time was talking to this guy and he was like if you're even just talking to me even before the first date I only want you talking to me not to any other guy and
00:22:20Missythat's kind of been my experience with men that they they want you to focus on one person at a time so so as much as women want to do that and I totally understand and you're like just getting out there you want to explore your options in my experience the men are
00:22:32Brian Atlaslike I don't want you if you're talking to a bunch of other guys we'll get into that we'll get that lat just going back to my question though
00:22:41Brian Atlasuh at the Apex of your the the cluster whatever in the pic how many first dates in like with different men in the period of one month time
00:22:59DianaI would probably say like 30 sometimes I'd go on coffee dates sometimes dinner dates sometimes lunch dates just depends so like one almost one date per day if it was was there
00:23:10Dianamore no did you ever go on two dates in one day well yeah that's what I said sometimes it's a coffee date sometimes it's a dinner date and it also depends on like whether or not I have my kids right like that's what I'm saying it's a different posture whenever you're a
00:23:23Dianasingle parent cuz you only have this amount of time without kids or you have to pay for child care so you and you get to know people I feel like that makes a lot of sense to me like you just like
00:23:31Brian Atlastrying to get it figured out okay so did you ever go on three dates in one day no two so the max was like two dates one day so you would do like did you
00:23:44Brian Atlasever cut a date short because you had another date coming up no okay I'm a lot more disciplined than that with my time okay but you did go essentially
00:23:54Dianaon in a one month period you went on 30 dates yeah okay let's not even talk about my 5year singlehood life was was
00:24:04Dianait more it's so sad just like it's there there were a lot of First Dates like I'm very open about this conversation because like you can get to know someone
00:24:14Dianain chat with them on the online dating world and they're charismatic they're witty you know all these different things and then you meet with them in person and the vibe is off and they're super like shut down they're actually
00:24:27Dianalike introverts they can't even hold a conversation or their pictures are like 10 years old and they're 30 lbs heavier and you know they look like they've been through the ringer and I'm just like
00:24:37DianaI've been authentic so that's where it you know that that cycle comes in where you're just like meeting people and weeding them out you're like yeah that's a no no no no you were on the dating apps you said correct yes and you said
00:24:48Brian Atlasyou were authentic on the dating apps yes okay would you uh I know you're currently in the thing but do you still have them on your phone no oh you deleted them okay I was going to say I know we mentioned it before the show I
00:25:00Brian Atlaswas going to say we could look at your uh dating AB see if that checks out well I'm a little so how did you find the time in the one
00:25:11Dianamonth period to go on 30 dates you have five kids I imagine that would keep you fairly preoccupied well it just depends on how you do your you know schedule but
00:25:22Dianayeah I have like you know child care for my kids or they're gone with their dad or in the summertime they were you know gone for a week at a time and I was home you know I had them for a week at a time I'm an entrepreneur I have a lot of
00:25:35Dianacontrol over my work hours and work schedule right so everybody goes to lunch during a work day yeah sometimes I go on a date for my lunch you do a 30 minute date or something like that okay
00:25:46Dianaa lot of coffee dates for sure can I ask a question did the did the men usually pay for the dates um no I've got I mean I've gone Dutch a lot I've bought my own food and
00:25:56Dianayou know some men will make it a point to be like no no you know I insist and um my cultural background is a lot more like conservative Eastern European men
00:26:07Dianawill actually like even take offense you know if you try and pay for it and stuff so I was just like very aware but I was dating a lot in the Pacific Northwest at the time and there's a lot of like super
00:26:18Dianaliberal like men won't they're afraid to even open doors for women because they feel like someone's going to like you know I can open my own door I'm an independent woman Brian loves
00:26:30TTS/Donationsroast beef poon donated $200 my sprinkler goes like this
00:26:41Brian Atlasokay uh I mean it's true comes back like is unfortunate you know the BLM my nonprofit big labia matter it's I'm
00:26:54Masondoing it for the movement doing it for the culture um anyways uh okay so I'm trying to rec I was going to ask did your husband pay for the
00:27:05Nataliafirst date my ex not not your sorry not your husband sorry the guy you're dating right now oh absolutely yeah he did can I ask a question yeah um dating like around 30 guys in a month how did you
00:27:17Dianalike get rid of them if you just weren't filling the date did you GH straightforward though no I don't ghost I typically don't I give good feedback you you give feedback especially if they
00:27:27Dianahave a very authentic dating app profile I will let them know oh yeah I think that's fair like if someone's well I could be call them that too so so you
00:27:38Brian Atlaswould you would frequently encounter these men who are inauthentic in the beginning and you would tell them to you know hey this is inauthentic of you to well what are your views on women
00:27:49Dianawearing makeup um I think if it's have like I that's a that's a really huge thing actually like it's scary to see some women that are like you know in their
00:28:01Dianathey look like they're in their 60s or 70s and then they put makeup on and the shape and and whatnot and then they look like they're in their 30s I feel like if I were a man I would feel super
00:28:12Dianabetrayed and um I think makeup is you know great for like enhancing natural beauty but it shouldn't you shouldn't look like a completely different person when you take it off sure so that's my opinion although I would argue I mean
00:28:25Brian Atlasyou say enhancing natural beauty that's sort of like the the marketing spin of what I could just describe that as being inauthentic that's not what you actually look like and I would argue if makeup
00:28:38Missydidn't make you look better than you actually look without makeup you wouldn't wear it I for that like I I mean I will call myself on it I wear makeup I use filters on my photos it's
00:28:49Missycompletely inauthentic and I know that but I I feel like it's it's hard to live in a society that um puts so much pressure on you to like look a certain
00:28:59Missyway and if I felt like I could show up as my natural self like no makeup whatever and be appreciated even at my age as I'm getting older I would do it in a heartbeat and save myself the money
00:29:11Missyand the trouble I I just feel like unfortunately you have a lot of people who if you show up as you are that's not going to be good enough and you shouldn't care what other people think but when you're dating you certainly care of course you care you want to be
00:29:23Dianaconfident you want to feel good so yeah it's a lie it's a lie but it's sometimes feel like you don't have a choice I think it's this I mean it's a very similar conversation to men with beards have you ever seen those like side by side like it's really deceptive to see a
00:29:36Dianaguy that has a big beard and then if they get rid of it they're like I mean look totally different completely different well as somebody who has a beard exactly so I I do have to give a
00:29:48Brian Atlasbit of push back on this they're not comparable now you can certainly you can make the argument that a man for example and to be good faith and charitable a man who has a weak chin for example he
00:29:58Brian Atlascan grow a beard and hide his weak chin however it's very different for for one makeup's just it's not natural right also I would argue most makeup typically
00:30:10Brian Atlastends to be appi applied on the top half of the face typically that's where the primary I mean there's lipstick and but mostly it's the top half of the face I would argue that when it comes to
00:30:20Brian Atlasbeauty and physical attraction someone's top half of their face is much is going to contribute much more to how somebody is going to be attracted to you than the
00:30:31Dianabottom half of your face so you said if a man has a weak chin what about if a woman has weak eyebrows or bags under her eyes that are just genetic yeah like my eyeball my eyebrows are balding so i
00:30:44Brian Atlass them you know or people people that are oncology patients that they don't have here let me ask you a question let me let's talk about hair so I do think
00:30:53Brian Atlasit's different because uh one makeup is not it's it's fake it's not like like hair is within the realm of grooming whereas
00:31:06Brian Atlasmakeup is something totally different but let me ask you a question if a man was balding for example and he was wearing a hat oh I've called plenty of those out too you you think that's disingenuous yes okay I don't think
00:31:19Dianabecause and well if that's disingenuous then you have to concede that women wearing makeup is disingenuous too much makeup yes I agree any makeup any makeup would be dising disagree I mean then clothing too like we're we're talking
00:31:30Missyabout everything we put externally on our body at this point I think I think I mean so we should just walk around naked like Adam and Eve and then we know the whole package well I think we can admit
00:31:41Missyit is disingenuous but at the same time um we live in a culture and society that really does not accept us as we are and so at the same time you can call a woman out and blame the woman for oh she's
00:31:53Missyshe's trying to look different than she actually looks you know we have to call it a culture that puts the pressure on the woman to look a different way so like go ahead and blame me for wearing makeup and you know wearing a push-up
00:32:04Missybra or whatever else I'm doing but at the same time like blame the society that makes me feel like I have to have these things like it's it's I take responsibility and they have agency and you can I mean yes there is certainly
00:32:17Brian Atlaspressure on women I can I'd actually be prepared to argue there's actually a greater pressure on men when it comes to this but uh in a sense yes I I would agree with that but but at the same time
00:32:28MissyI mean like yes I have agency but if I show up in my natural self nine times out of 10 the men are not going to pick it and it's unfortunate they can preach
00:32:39Missyall they want about authenticity but what they actually do in practice is completely opposite sure so for example for example hold on let's let me give
00:32:47Brian Atlasyou an example then let's say I worked at McDonald's but it was uh expedient for me to lie on my dating profile and say I was a doctor an attorney women tend to find these
00:33:00Brian Atlasprofessions very attractive and I would argue most women who are perhaps in their late 20s early 30s probably wouldn't dat a guy who works at McDonald's even if he's otherwise a great guy or even attractive they
00:33:12Brian Atlaswouldn't maybe take him seriously as a long-term Prospect now it would get me the girl to lie and say that I'm an attorney I'm a lawyer I'm a doctor when
00:33:23Brian AtlasI'm not that doesn't mean it's right to do so your argument that well if I did show hold on hold on but your argument though was well if I did show up without makeup the men would find me less attractive if I was on the dating apps
00:33:36Brian Atlasand I didn't use filters and I didn't wear makeup less men would swipe on me I'd get less dates well I can make that same argument about the deceptive practices that men make the same argument with a guy who's
00:33:47Masonbalding yeah but I but here's the thing like for me if in order for this bald man to get more likes or more matches hey let's throw cat I totally agre but he takes his hat off I'm going to be
00:34:00Missyunderstanding and compassionate and that's the difference you prefer would you prefer to date a guy with a full head of hair I really wouldn't care I want a good man genuinely I really want a good man pref I'll tell 10 years ago
00:34:12Mason10 years ago yes I would haveed yes that is anecdotal I'm different now so I mean that's awesome for you awesome that you are at a place in your life where you're not going to judge a man for being bald that's that's great I think more women
00:34:24Masonshould be like you but thank you statistically just like on average population average uh it's it's they will demonize men for putting a hat on
00:34:35Masonif they're bald like covering up those things that they are insecure about when they're doing the exact same thing just with different but this is what I'm saying so instead of like I'd like to say something to that oh that's fine so
00:34:48MasonI mean instead of trying to demonize men and accost them for oh you're hiding your uh the things that you're insecure about maybe should sit back be like what
00:34:59Missyif I were in his shoes I am in his shoes actually cuz I'm covering stuff up yeah I and that's how I personally feel feel at this age in this place in my life I I totally get it listen I I've got things
00:35:10Missythat make me not as authentic on my dating profile whatever but I also call myself out on it I frequently will post things that don't have a filter and say this is a filter every time someone compliments it but listen like I I
00:35:24Missyunderstand men have the same pressure but what I'm saying is a lot of times on this podcast you guys want to like come at the women for the things that they do and put on that are fake and whatever but and and the thing is like men are
00:35:36Missydoing it to us and we are doing it to them and so what I'm saying it's a 50-50 thing if we could all just cut the and be our real authentic s but I don't know that that's going to happen I don't think that's going to happen and that's why you know the greatest
00:35:48Dianacompromise and the best service that you can do to the public like dating scene is you know if you're insecure about hairline or about skin or whatever post a couple of like your best self when you
00:35:59Dianafeel your best but then post a couple of authentic ones too no filter no makeup how do I look when I go camping or how do I look like first thing in the morning or a gentleman that wants to wear like baseball caps because he hates
00:36:10Dianahis balding hair but at least sneak one in there where you're like my hair not perfect I I give a different
00:36:17Missyprescription like just don't care about social media what if e it's not social media it's it's my I can tell you all the comments that I have received about
00:36:29Missymy physical appearance that have led me to want to change this or that have been said to me in real life at school at work at church at all the places I've been that's where I've receiv received
00:36:40Masonthe most understand that that's your experience yet again an social media is a big problem but since the Inception of
00:36:48Masonsocial media all of these negative uh well mental or disorders have skyrocketed
00:36:59Masonpeople all of more not saying that itn't a fact because we're social animals we care about what people think of us yes but
00:37:10Masonwhen you start when you start putting yourself out there on social media on dating apps on the internet all of a sudden that that care becomes Amplified
00:37:20Missyand yes I I understand it's easier said than done but if you really wanted to fix that problem that's that's how you what I I'll say for one thing quickly is
00:37:31Missythat um I never had an insecurity about how I looked until I started using filters and now when I see myself in the phone camera I was a year ago was posting pictures just as I am no makeup
00:37:42Missywhatever and then I started using a filter just for fun just I never had used them never used Snapchat and now it's like I see my face without a filter and it's like holy crap what the hell is that like instant Botox as you get I
00:37:55Missyknow you ladies probably don't feel it as much but when you get years down the line things change and I swore I was that girl I'm like oh I'll take care of myself it'll be great I'll never look like that do you on your dating app do you have any photos with filters I have
00:38:07Missylike three with filters and I think two without filters any without makeup uh I the one but it has a filter on it yeah um but okay there's also on my social
00:38:18Missymedia videos of me recently crying after a hair bleach fail no makeup no filter what just yeah yeah I mean look when it comes to this whole inauthentic thing um
00:38:31Brian AtlasI would argue though on dating apps for example absolutely there are men who are going to post photos that are maybe not representative of what they look photos from when they're younger uh maybe even
00:38:42Brian Atlasfilters I will say somebody myself who was on dating apps uh the I I can't speak from the girls perspective I'm sure there's guys who post filtered
00:38:52Brian Atlasphotos I would suspect that the incidence rate of men posting deceptive photos is far less so much more common
00:39:02Dianathan you think though being on my side it like literally seeing a man with multiple filter pictur what was your age range on the dating apps because I do know like older guys like that demographic is probably a bit more
00:39:15Dianalikely than filters whereas like a 25-year-old guy my age group well I mean I'm not going to date 25-year-old right you're proba dating like 35 to 45 right right those guys
00:39:27Dianaone filtered photo to me is just like that's just it's pretty cring yeah it's super cringey it's like red flag number one like do you have any filtered photos though no okay a lot of the women though like I guarantee I could pull up a
00:39:40Dianadating app right now we could look at the the women and there are a lot of women that are not even on there for dating they're just there to promote their only F or their socials or things like we can come back to the makeup
00:39:51Blasiething I do want to continue going around on the uh relationship status we haven't finished that up what about you go ahead okay so I'm 22 when I was 19 I dated a
00:40:02BlasieJewish dermatologist for two and a half years on an off and he was insane and now I and in Santa Barbara I flew in
00:40:11Blasieprivate I I think I I think I've got a crush on my pilot is the thing uh what's your current relationship status uh well I I think me and my pilot might have a
00:40:23Blasiething going on does he know yeah is this a unilateral yeah he know he knows it hopefully he'll watch this he'll watch
00:40:34Blasiethis did you talk to him like beyond the flight yeah I mean I mean do you know your Pilots yeah I so what's your relationship status it's
00:40:46Brian Atlascomplicated okay I know you're just answer the question though that is the answer to the question is okay you're you're claiming you took a you took a private flight to Santa Barbara from Los
00:40:57Brian AtlasAngeles to Santa barar that's correct so it's like a private jet a little Cessna why didn't you fly
00:41:08Brian Atlascommercial uh cuz I would prefer to fly private why wait hold on you said you're neat what did you make a bunch in crypto
00:41:17Blasieor something no I'm scared of crypto I was asked to promote uh a certain uh a certain coin but I didn't I didn't do it
00:41:28Brian Atlasum but uh what okay so okay you said you're I'm not cryp you're not in you're not going to school you don't have a job that's
00:41:39Blasiecorrect how do you afford to fly how much was the private jet flight all right do you I mean am I asking you how much your your flights cost you know well you're the one who talked
00:41:52Blasieabout it's the truth I did I I flew in private okay I believe you how much how much yeah I mean cuz cuz you guys don't don't put up the cost for the flight do you no we don't or or the accommodations
00:42:03Blasieeither I I'm stay in a nice place I'm not going to disclose why I'm in a nice place you there was a there was a there was a motel six across the across the stre okay
00:42:16Blasiestop so did somebody else pay for the flight no you paid for it yes okay do you have a trust fund just seems a bit
00:42:26Blasiedubious no I I don't have a trust fund I grew up I like I said first generation immigrant my parents immigrated here from Mexico so well that's that's why I'm that's why I'm asking because you're
00:42:38Blasienot in school you're not employed but but you don't ask these sort of questions you're not supposed to ask she did date a rheumatologist dermatologist dermatologist 2 and a half years he was okay if you want me to say what he was
00:42:50Blasiehe was a Jewish doctor he was from Coney Island he he didn't grow up with money but he did he he listen I'm sorry Barry but I'm gonna I'm
00:42:59Blasiegoing to blast you out here um he went to D the DAR school of medicine oh okay we just want to know how you how you made money because you don't have a
00:43:11Masonjob yeah exactly like where does the money from don't you just don't you realize that's somewhat curious that is somewhat curious that would lead that would a lot of people to ask no I of
00:43:21Blasiecourse I did but but I'll tell you this I I'm a writer I have a substack all right it's substack docomo SL yeah answer the question what was the
00:43:34Masonquestion oh my God we're getting lost in all the how did you afford the flight here sorry I have a hair on my face if if I walked into a studio and sat down
00:43:44Masonand said hey I don't have a job I I'm not making money in any way oh I'm you didn't say that but by all uh appearances yeah you're not making money
00:43:56Masonin any way sure but I flew on a private jet to
00:44:03Missyget Place sleeping with the pilot essentially I'm not I I never said I was sleeping with the pilot sleeping with the person who paid for your flight here and the nice accommodations I mean I don't know how she would get it if
00:44:15Missyyou're not working and you don't have money from your family or like it just it just feels like your jerk in our chain here yeah oh yeah totally a troll I sorry call cuz I was asking you your
00:44:26Brian Atlasrelationship status and you're doing this like performative thing of well me and the private jet pilot you know there's okay you're not I mean I could I
00:44:37BlasieI could text him he saved in my in my uh phone so you met him a couple hours ago no I've met him a few months ago oh that changes things does it all right I'll be
00:44:48Blasiehonest he's my boyfriend I like him very much he happens to be a pilot so I don't I don't know if I can believe anything you're saying it just sounds
00:44:59Brian Atlasyeah okay so wait when I asked your relationship status what it was complicated so now you have a boyfriend right that's true um those two things
00:45:10Blasieare they're contradictory I mean you asking the questions which one's true that it's complicated or that you have a boyfriend I've listen I've got I've got a boyfriend okay okay is he a friend boy
00:45:22Blasieor is he a boyfriend he's a boyfriend you can ask him how long you've been dating him um not that long it's it's a it's a new
00:45:33Blasiething okay so like maybe like a couple weeks what's your longest relationship my longest relationship like I said I started my first boyfriend was when I
00:45:42Blasiewas 19 it was 2 and A2 years on and off or so um he was a Jewish dermat I'll say what kind of doctor he was he was a Jewish dermatologist from Coney Island
00:45:53Macyhe went to Darin medical school I'm sorry I'm I'm going to put all the business out there um what about you okay um I have so I'm 19 I have just been single my whole life I've been I've
00:46:05Macybeen in like talking stages but never like an official relationship what's the longest I guess talking stage you've had probably like four months four months so four months is like the longest
00:46:16Macyconsecutive period of time that you've seen a guy yeah but it wasn't you wouldn't consider him your boyfriend yeah like it wasn't labeled it was just like talking and then yeah it's like a situation okay how long ago was that uh
00:46:29Macythat was like a year ago it's when I was in high school okay were you guys exclusive uh we no not really it was like we would talk about being exclusive
00:46:38Macybut we never like we officially like well I was but yeah and so uh is that why it ended yeah any prospects here in college no like going back to what
00:46:51MacyAlyssa was saying I feel like a lot of people a lot of guys first year like he'll be talking to someone and a lot of people don't want to take it serious or they just kind of want to they're looking for like cookups not like official relationships okay uh question for you
00:47:03Brian Atlastwo actually have you ever friendzoned guy uh yeah did he want a relationship with you yeah so there are men who do want relationship you're just not attracted to them those ones here here
00:47:18Alissaat I mean I guess I have but like I don't know how oh sorry I don't know how serious they really were at the end of the day like we can't give them the benefit of the doubt that they were
00:47:29Blasiegoing to take me serious you know what I mean yeah you're not obligated to date a guy just because he's nice you know that's true what if sure but the complaint it's just it's just it's it's your own it's your own personal the
00:47:42Masoncomplaint was like oh no guys want to actually take a relationship seriously if you if you don't oh go ahead go ahead gohe but I'm going to friend zone the guys who probably are more serious than
00:47:53Blasiethe rest right because women if they don't want to women can either want to don't don't see a guy as a human being or they want to ruin their lives over a
00:48:04Missyguy and is that so wrong is that our fault um I don't think that's accurate I would not agree you guys wouldn't agree you guys that ruin your life over a man
00:48:14Blasieor or ruin his I don't know what you even said but that's women are dogs that's what I'm saying that's not true I'm just saying you heard it here first folks judge all women either would ruin
00:48:27Blasieyour life over a man or you don't even see him as a person or you would have a healthy functioning relationship imagine that well maybe you're not Latina I'm
00:48:37MasonLatina and so that's how I feel Latin all Mexicans are dysfunctional in relationships don't you know this come on he being sarcastic
00:48:48Missythis isn't this isn't true sarcas just saying just because you live a life of dysfunction does not mean that all wom I don't live a life of dun I live a life of great function yeah wait yeah also
00:49:00Brian Atlaslike I I this this whole Trope of like well I'm a fiery Latina like that's I'm not saying that listen there's plenty of Latino women who are like name five of them in healthy
00:49:11Missyrelationships really she just said her mother yeah moms right there do you know them I want to ask the two other Latina wait are you Latina okay yeah what do you guys have to say about are you going to
00:49:23Alissalet her slander I think the Latin culture it's like one of those like stereotypes that some people like to feed into and other people like don't and I really don't
00:49:35Alissathink it's accurate and I specifically don't like to feed into it someone says are her parents illegal they may be deported next year2 what what do you think I think what a dog you are dog ftiz it and like
00:49:48Blasieyou might be one of those people who feed into that like fetish like I'm like I'm don't know what it's like on the south side of Chicago Whitey of guys know what it's like in the south side of
00:49:58DianaChicago I do I have plenty of friends out there really what part uh well some of them live in NES and some of them legitimately grew up of Chicago that's
00:50:08Brian Atlasnot Niles is not Chicago proper okay not n down a little bit they've moved out there a little less like this yeah there you go good job great proud of you all
00:50:19Nataliaright all right thank you uh okay okay what about you your relationship status um I've been single my whole life what's the longest period of time that you've seen anybody it was definitely one-sided like just between me he
00:50:32Nataliadefinitely didn't like me but I kept like um basically like he didn't like you no definitely not you liked him yeah it was like a it's like that quote saying like he's not talking to you he's
00:50:44Nataliaresponding oh yeah that's that was my whole life whole senior year okay and so you were see like in this whatever it was like it was like a thing a situationship for like two weeks and then I was like coming to college and
00:50:58DianaI'm like he didn't take me serious all year you know what wait 2 weeks yeah two weeks it was literally two weeks well how long were you talking to him though for two weeks oh two weeks you've only crushed on a guy you've only crushed on a guy for like two weeks like there was no one in high schol CR on him all
00:51:11Nataliasenior year but he didn't like me back just till like the end of senior year and I was like kind of like at that point I got bored of it honestly I did get bored of it and I ghosted him but you're beautiful you've never had a guy that was like really interested in you that you like entertained and talked to
00:51:24Nataliaand kind of got to know I've been on like one but after that I was kind of like yeah I don't see anything so would you say you're kind of picky or yeah definitely in what way like what are your
00:51:34Nataliastandards um I like a cool guy like like the bad Bo gu that's a person like this she's going out vibes and there's nothing wrong with that a surfer skater
00:51:47Brian Atlasguy it's definitely my that's cool Surfer skater boy surf would not provide for you no she she's in college you're like 18 I go to UCSB I think with girls who are in college I
00:51:59Dianadon't think they're super preoccupied with like the guys income you're just dating everybody's just getting started at that time it's not as important okay
00:52:10Brian Atlasso uh uh Surfer do they have to be tall yeah I'm pretty I'm how tall are you I'm 5'6 so like bare minimum height what are we talking like 5'9 oh that's that's not
00:52:23Missyunreasonable that's like the average male height that's not unreasonable that's good I'll just say when you get older that may change because do they shrink no it's just great question they do actually from a n you think that
00:52:37Missyyou're going to settle when you're younger holy God you'll settle a lot more when you're older and I'm telling you like I disagree no no you will because the the option I don't think
00:52:47Missyshe's unreasonable like five it's not unreasonable sorry that trapped but uh it's not unreasonable it's just I don't know should we tell women to settle we shouldn't tell women to settle no but
00:53:00Dianarealistically everyone's going to settle for something like no one's perfect you'll never find the person who that's not true you might you might just find them I don't I don't think there's a settle I think it's compromised yeah what are your
00:53:13Blasienegotiables what are your non-negotiables I think women don't even know what they want going in I think women they they'll find something and then they'll they'll see that this is what they like and it'll it'll totally
00:53:23Missytranscend any of the previous blanket statement that doesn't apply to all women and that's why relation don't work when people go into it just saying well I like this person I'm attracted to this person you don't think about your
00:53:36Missygoals or your values or your boundaries or any of those things and so you have nothing to base a proper relationship on it's just like oh this is fun and then it Fizzles out because it doesn't always stay fun forever you speak French no why
00:53:49Missydo I have a slightly French accent well you said you're isn't toron you're in theing I mean I Could Sing a a French song Just sweet and pizza but that's about it okay uh let's go back to you uh
00:54:00Alexyyour relationship sis I am in a relationship I have been in a relationship for about a year and a half you guys engaged no just just boyfriend girlfriend yeah okay longest
00:54:12Masonrelationship um this one mhm okay all right Mason what about you give us the whole details the whole details details all the details yes okay um so I am
00:54:23Masonsingle uh my longest relationship has been a year um uh yeah I'm not really looking for anybody right now cuz if I were to find somebody and then get into Air Force
00:54:36MasonSpecial Warfare I'll be like I'll see you in like 2 years and uh that's not conducive to a relationship yeah whole whole details though whole details whole
00:54:45Masondetails DET okay sorry Brian I apologize um I am uh also a virgin waiting till marriage wonderful um that's awesome I'm
00:54:55MasonI'm a uh really devout Christian so that's really important to me and Brian uh is my gatekeeper to make sure that I
00:55:06Blasiefind somebody who is also a virgin oh my God he's your chastity belt my belt de for you they have to be a virgin they uh or like well it depends who you ask I
00:55:16Masonthink Mas yeah what do you mean first date question ask ask yeah um yes so uh yeah I uh my
00:55:28Masonlawyer would uh say that they have to be a I'll respond I will respond on his beh as his Council as his Council wait that's kind of hot what's hot like you
00:55:40Blasielike you taking care of his chastity belt like you you holding the key yeah I I would say it is would anybody age with somebody with would a brave soul agree with me have you guys seen Challengers
00:55:51Alexythe movie Challengers with with Zena and Mike face no okay so yeah what direct any questions towards me not my was not
00:56:03Brian Atlasalways a Christian became a Christian and is now celibate is that still no council no no well he it she has to be Christian right okay she has to be Christian like
00:56:17Brian Atlasrecommitted are you what are you Protestant what are you yeah I'm Protestant Orthodox I'm not Orthodox all right so under certain circumstances my client
00:56:29Brian Atlaswould consider dating a woman who's not a virgin although that would not be our first negotiating position he does he would prefer to date to a woman who's a virgin it's not 100% a deal breaker but
00:56:42Brian Atlasthere will have to be additional compensation and consideration uh if her Chastity is not intact his Chastity is he is waiting until marriage is that correct you're
00:56:53Masonwaiting until marriage before you have carnal knowledge of a woman is that cor why don't you guys just get at it you too this is a professional relationship