EARTHQUAKE?! Feminist RAGE QUIT! Hex Witch?! Andrew Wilson vs. Super Feminists! | Dating Talk #185
Date: 2024-08-07
Duration: 7h 59m
Guests
Brian AtlasIdentified Speakers
SPEAKER_00Brian Atlas(host)
SPEAKER_02Vanessa / Charse(guest)
SPEAKER_03Lindsay(guest)
SPEAKER_04Kayla(guest)
SPEAKER_05Chrissy Clark(guest)
SPEAKER_06Andrew Wilson(guest)
SPEAKER_07TTS/Donations(audience)
SPEAKER_08Riley Risa (singing)(guest)
SPEAKER_09Payton(guest)
SPEAKER_10Morgan(guest)
SPEAKER_11Bell(guest)
SPEAKER_12Riley Risa / Charse(guest)
Key Moments
00:03:47
IntroBell introduces herself as a witch/psychic from Santa Barbara, age 23. Explains baneful magic, hexes, love spells, and tarot services.
“hi I'm I'm Bell uh I'm 23 I'm a witch and I live in Santa Barbara”
00:06:32
QuoteBell claims her first hex caused her ex-boyfriend (who allegedly assaulted her) to fall off a 3-story building, shattering 3 parts of his spine at 3am, 6 months after the hex.
“the first ever hex I did was on this guy who I have like a really traumatic pass with and I work with the number three so I wanted to send back three times the pain that caused me he fell off a three-story building shattered three parts of his spine at 3:00 in the morning about 6 months after I hacked uh cast it”
00:17:17
OtherRiley Risa sings an original unreleased song ('I-4 Highway') live on the show.
“okay if it's your way or the highway well I guess I'll take out for you're the captain of the ship”
00:25:55
ControversyBell reveals she was sexually assaulted at 16 by an older boyfriend who got her blackout drunk. Describes a 6-year on/off toxic relationship (~30 cycles). Later cast a hex on him.
“he essayed me multiple times and abused me multiple times it was a very toxic relationship”
01:33:10
QuoteMorgan refuses to rate herself on the 1-10 scale, saying therapy has led her to see herself as a 10/10 and she won't let the podcast undo years of work.
“I would give myself a 10 out of 10 okay yeah I went through a lot of therapy to get myself to where I feel like I'm a 10 out of 10 so I'm uh going to remove myself from this conversation because I'm not going to let a podcast undo years of therapy thank you”
01:56:09
Key MomentMorgan argues women aren't constitutionally equal to men because the Equal Rights Amendment hasn't passed. Andrew and Brian challenge this interpretation.
“constitutionally equal men so for that to if that passes draft me Daddy I'm ready to go so when you say women aren't constitutionally equal to men”
02:30:15
ControversyMorgan (flight attendant/feminist) rage quits mid-episode. Came in with 80+ pages of debate notes but left after being outmatched in the ERA/constitutional equality debate.
“I will Fast Track can boo oh yeah I'm leaving the booze that's for you guys no I really appreciate you having contribution”
04:01:10
OtherA real earthquake occurs during filming in Santa Barbara. Water glasses visibly shake; automated earthquake alert fires. Bell jokes she caused it with a hex.
“earthquake drop and cover seriously it earthquake detected drop cover you can see it in the water oh my gosh I can feel it”
07:26:00
QuoteVanessa reveals total body count ~150-200+: ~50-60 civilian partners plus ~100-200 professional adult film scenes. Earlier stated only ~20 scenes.
“probably 150 Maybe that's if we add up all the civilians yeah I'm including women too like I don't know”
07:31:00
QuoteBear vs man: Bell says she'd choose the man because she'd rather kill a man than harm a bear.
“I would rather kill a man than a bear I wouldn't want to harm an animal”
Topics Discussed
00:00:08
Introductions
Guests introduce name, age, location, occupation. Brian intro/announcements at top.
00:03:47
Witchcraft & Psychic Discussion
Bell explains her witchcraft practice: baneful magic, hexes, love spells, tarot, psychic readings. Discussion of hex on ex-boyfriend. Childhood in strict Lutheran church.
00:19:30
Relationship Status Round
All guests share current relationship status, longest relationship, and how long single.
00:48:00
Flight Attendant Lifestyle Debate
Morgan (flight attendant) discusses dating while traveling, body count, promiscuity risk. Andrew and Brian debate whether flight attendant job is a red flag for men.
01:00:00
Male Preferences & Financial Status (Pew Research)
Debate whether men select women based on finances vs physical attractiveness. Pew Research data presented showing men prioritize beauty, women prioritize financial status.
01:29:30
Chrissy Clark's Engagement
Chrissy discusses getting married in 60 days; criticizes long American engagements; advocates for destination weddings.
01:31:30
Self-Rating Round (Looks 1-10)
Guests rate their own looks on a 1-10 scale. Morgan refuses citing therapy. Bell gives 10. Vanessa gives 6. Chrissy gives 3. Riley gives 8.
01:43:20
Hex on Ex-Boyfriend / Witchcraft Ethics
Extended debate on the ethics of casting hexes. Bell defends hexing her alleged assaulter. Andrew and others question the ethics and efficacy of witchcraft.
01:56:09
Feminism & Equal Rights Amendment Debate
Morgan argues women aren't constitutionally equal (ERA not passed). Andrew and Brian counter that existing amendments (14th, 19th, Equal Pay Act) already provide equality. Leads to Morgan's rage quit.
02:30:15
Morgan's Rage Quit
Morgan leaves the show, citing fatigue (up since 3am). Brian and Andrew characterize it as a rage quit after being outmatched in the ERA/feminism debate.
04:01:10
Earthquake During Show
A minor earthquake occurs during filming in Santa Barbara (~241 min mark). Water glasses visibly shake. Bell jokingly claims credit via hex.
04:19:00
Single Motherhood & Child Outcomes
Andrew and Kayla discuss statistics on child outcomes in single-mother vs single-father households. Andrew argues step-fathers increase risk of abuse.
04:26:40
Dating & Hookup Stories
Riley shares hookup story about a man who asked her to roleplay as Helen Keller. Other guests share dating experiences.
07:24:00
Body Count Discussion
Body count round. Bell: ~30-40 (mostly women). Vanessa: 150-200+ (incl. professional scenes). Lindsay and Kayla: ~10. Chrissy: ~7 (husband said). Morgan declined.
07:31:00
Bear vs Man Question
Panel asked whether they'd rather be alone in a forest with a random man or random bear. Most chose man. Bell chose man because she'd rather kill a man than harm an animal.
Transcript
Page 5 of 9
03:46:42
Bellum my friend who wanted me who want wanted to come on here she watched a couple clips and she was like I'm not going on that podcast I don't like them I don't agree with them the only way I want you to go on this podcast she she
03:46:54
Bellshe made a deal with me and it's like it's not cuz she has control over me but she was like I'll only allow you to go on that podcast if you wear the shirt that I buy you and I was like okay but that's not control no cuz it's a joke she wouldn't actually she wouldn't
03:47:07
Brian Atlasactually keep me from going on the PO but you we the shirt so yeah so that's the explanation as to how you came to be wearing the shirt not really not really interested in that more interested in
03:47:18
Brian Atlasactually exploring uh what it's trying to communicate um so uh is that your position no not necessarily I just thought it was funny to wear not it's not your position no I don't think we
03:47:30
Bellshould ban free speech in general I think everyone should have the opinion I do think there is considerably too many podcasts I think that a lot of people buy a microphone and then start a
03:47:42
Andrew Wilsonpodcast what's wrong with that I guess there's nothing wrong with it it's just it's very oversaturated they we it's just like everything else in the market yeah they
03:47:53
Brian Atlasweed themselves out so the the best rise up and then everybody else just kind of goes by the wayside yeah well so it seems like your friend perhaps has more
03:48:03
Brian Atlasobjections than you do uh I suppose if she was here what would she say about what topic about banning Me podcast Banning the podcast she you said she
03:48:14
Bellsaid something along the lines of I'm not going to go on that podcast because she's very mangous I would say overall she's like very best friends with her
03:48:25
Bellyeah best friends with a misandrist yeah do you consider yourself misandrist in any capacity no I think we disagree on a couple of topics I think it's okay to disagree if your friends on certain topics well I suppose but um but I don't
03:48:39
Bellknow I would you be have a lot of very negative she's your best friend I have very very negative very very negative experiences with men she's had
03:48:51
Bellextremely negative experiences with men and I think that she's reacting to a lot of the experiences that she's had and it's not my place to sit here and tell her her beliefs right um let me ask you
03:49:04
Andrew Wilsona question so just want to make sure just want to make sure I get this right just just real quick can you tell me what a misandrist is um she does not like men just hates him yeah okay and
03:49:16
Bellyou don't fall under that boat no at all no I I love my man mhm I'm very deeply in loveed I've never loved a man like this before though I honestly thought I
03:49:27
Bellwas a lesbian before I met him I will say that um and I do really really love him I definitely I definitely do have like a bias towards men where I do feel
03:49:39
Bella lot more unsafe in the presence of a man than a woman necessarily but that's based on my personal experience to my personal bias okay yeah but I don't hate all men I don't hate anyone I just don't
03:49:50
Vanessa / Charsereally Harbor hate necessarily is there something spec I mean other than your experiences with these certain men is there something that as a men as whole
03:50:02
Vanessa / Charsethat you I guess hold to a lower standard I mean I think that you make you feel unsafe or less safe yeah I mean I coming
03:50:13
Bellfrom someone who's been assaulted yeah yeah I mean so a lot of the time women are very very dismissed when they are assaulted and when something negative happens to them they are often not
03:50:24
Bellbelieved and I'm not even not even women let me just say that uh let me just preference that victims in general often times are not believed I would say that
03:50:35
Belland I think that's a very very big problem um I would also say that although there is a lot of like domestic violence cases in Les lesan
03:50:45
Bellrelationships I do I am nuanced I I am educated on that a lot of women that are in DV situations don't survive there's a lot of women that get killed like I and
03:50:57
Bellthere's a lot of women that experience DV from a male partnerize on all men um I don't generalize it as all
03:51:08
Bellmen are evil I generalize it as if a man is walking down the street I'm going to feel considerably less safe than if a woman's walking down the street um because the likelihood of me getting
03:51:18
Bellattacked by a man is higher and the likelihood of me surviving an attack from a woman is considerably also higher uh the likelihood of me surviving an
03:51:28
Bellattack if you attacked me I'm probably not winning if you attack me we maybe we could maybe tussle you you beat the crap out of me it's all good I I don't know I don't know but I would have a better
03:51:40
Bellchance at defending myself against a woman than a man overall so you just a perception of that yeah you know it's it's like fear and I guess maybe it's trauma it's a lot of trauma and a lot of fear and I think a lot of women
03:51:53
Brian Atlasexperience that and I think a lot of women feel very ashamed to speak out about it you said that your friend had bad
03:52:01
Brian Atlasexperiences with men and uh this this has uh made her perhaps have a bias against men because of her bad experiences you also said that because
03:52:12
Brian Atlasof what you know about about men you'd feel less safe around them at night for example if you're crossing the street um I mean one will you at least acknowledge that while you may statistically there
03:52:25
Brian Atlasmay I'll just grant that there's basis for this uh is it still sexist to just like approach this to approach things that way is it sexist I think it's more of a
03:52:36
Brian Atlassurvival Instinct I think if okay well it but is it sexist let's say it is a survival Instinct is it sexist no I think it's a survival Instinct so
03:52:47
Vanessa / Charselet's change men for to females for you you mostly with people let me just let me have the back and forth please so yeah go ahead
03:52:57
Brian Atlasum why don't we change it to race MH so I had speaking hypothetically here if I had poor experiences with a member or a
03:53:09
Brian Atlasfew members of a racial group and because of these poor experiences I am now in all instances when interacting with said racial group I have hesitation
03:53:19
Brian AtlasI feel uncomfortable would this be racist no I racism would be if you acted on it if you're not I am acting I'm avoiding communicating with them I I if
03:53:30
Brian AtlasI see uh for example you see three men coming at you at night maybe you cross the street to be on the other side of the street right that would be acting on
03:53:39
Brian Atlasit correct okay so if we just replace that scenario and we just put in black people is it racist to cross the street and purposely avoid them let's say it's
03:53:52
Bellit's two men and two women based on your previous bad experiences yeah is that racist yeah I guess there could be Arguments for that I would still say it's more like trauma based more than anything what do you mean I think that
03:54:05
Bellthat what you're explaining to me sounds like it's very trauma based sure I think that a lot of people like um there are people who do have like preferences where they're like cannot date people from this certain background because I
03:54:18
Bellhave trauma with that background and I think it's it's like a very gray topic for me cuz I'm like I can see instances where it could be considered racist and I could see instances um well they
03:54:30
Bellneed'd have to see it as being instances of sexism too statistically statistically I am safer with a with a woman walking towards me than a man I really am because I'm they have a
03:54:43
Bellphysical are sure you want to get into crime statistics no it's more about I have a physical advantage over a woman I don't have a physical advantage over a man even those more domestic violence
03:54:55
Belland lesbian relationships yeah but oh how if we get into how many people survive domestic violence and how many people die from domestic violence I would say I would
03:55:07
Bellassume a high amount of the women that are dying from domestic violence it's in cases with men because men have a higher likelihood of the ability to kill you I do agree with that I agree with that statement yeah so then wouldn't this be
03:55:19
Andrew Wilsona good and I also would this also be a good analogy the other direction to say that high-profile men should avoid contact with women because the capacity
03:55:29
Bellfor that woman to destroy their life sure yeah sure if that's yeah if that um yeah I think my partner's pretty high-profile and so if I were let's say
03:55:39
Andrew Wilsona successful successful man who owned a factory shouldn't my hiring practice IES be tailored towards not women well there's laws against that that's not my
03:55:50
Andrew Wilsonquestion my question my question is by this logic shouldn't my hiring practices not be tailored towards women people do do that with their business though yeah I know but this people do that
03:56:02
Andrew Wilsonconstantly that's an is that's a descriptor I I know that they do I'm asking if they should based on this Logic No but I think that that's But Me
03:56:13
Andrew WilsonNot me not giving an opportunity to someone versus me AV the exact same thing you're not giving the opportunity same thing giving no opportunity what opportunity are they giving by me
03:56:24
Andrew Wilsonwalking down a stream so what's going on here you go okay there's three of you or even one of you right hello man at night who's walking towards me you're not giving him the opportunity to demonstrate he's not going to do anything to you you're instead taking
03:56:37
Bellthe choice of not even going to take the chance by crossing the street right how would that logic not apply to the factory owner who doesn't want to hire women because that's completely different he that that is giving a job and an opportunity to someone the opportunity I'm taking away from the man
03:56:51
Andrew Wilsonwalking down the street is the opportunity to harm me yeah that's what they're doing they're taking away their opportunity to harm them same thing I guess I would avoid anyone walking down the street but I would especially avoid
03:57:03
Bella man walking down the street right so then I would hire anybody but I would especially hire men over women okay and people do that but do you think they should I think you're entitled to do what you want to do for your business
03:57:16
Bellalthough the law would state that that is incorrect yeah I know what the law would say I'm asking about so there's morally morally you be able to hire whoever you
03:57:28
Andrew Wilsonwant to hire for your company it's your company so it so it's rational to you that if men said we don't want to hire women because they pose a greater threat to us just by them being in our vicinity that is the that is their decision for
03:57:40
Belltheir business however that will have repercussions obviously that's going to C rids that's going to cause disagreements and that could be very DET I personally from a business standpoint I wouldn't recommend doing that because
03:57:51
Andrew Wilsonthat's going to have a negative impact I do you think if it were legal tomorrow for men to exclude women from many jobs if they owned and do own these factories
03:58:02
Bellum don't you think that they would some maybe I don't think all would why would all saying all I'm asking if a lot more would than now no I yeah I think they would I think
03:58:14
Andrew Wilsonthey would why because I don't think that they want the idea of women around who could potentially ruin their life or damage their company through through the fact that they can they can get false
03:58:26
Bellwitness false allegations they kind of already do that though because the law says they have to when you okay here's the thing though if I apply for a job they can say oh we don't want to hire her for this reason legally they could
03:58:40
Belldecide to not hire me because I'm a woman they just legally cannot say that that happens all the time it's like a very very common issue but you forget the other side of the coin which is the incentives where they say you need to
03:58:51
Andrew Wilsonhave quotas or x amount of your clientele needs to be female or things like that there's those laws as well affirmative action for women which say you have to have X amount MH so the thing is is like can you imagine if I
03:59:02
Andrew Wilsonmade a law that said well you have to walk by x amount of wind you have to even though your perception is they could hurt you you say well statistically they probably wouldn't would that be good enough for you take
03:59:14
Andrew Wilsonthat chance right that's my whole point why would a man take that chance if he owned a factory why would they take the chance why would they just go [ __ ] that I'm not doing that they really don't they don't take the chance a lot of the
03:59:25
Andrew Wilsontime this is like a big issue unless they're forced by law yeah and even then there's still ways around it people always find ways around yeah but it's not as easy you could be penalized
03:59:35
Bellcompanies are penalized problems which happen decide not to I don't get penalized for not walking by a man across the street my point is is imagine if we had a law that said you would get penalized if you
03:59:48
Andrew Wilsondidn't walk by x amount of men on the street wouldn't you ignore the law that yeah I would yeah and that's why I think that men are Justified ignoring the law saying that they should they should hire women if they don't want to okay I am
04:00:00
Andrew Wilsonfine with that I'm not hired by a man I believe women should work for themselves I I fully support women well I mean not every woman's going to be able to be you know do hexagrams and [ __ ] on people
04:00:10
Bellright no but I fully support women owned businesses because I think we need more of them should we give incentives for that make laws tailored towards that not
04:00:22
Bellnecessarily no but I think we can advocate for that and I think I personally boost Brands and boost content creators that are women for that exact because I I want to give them that
04:00:35
Andrew Wilsonopportunity I want to give them that platform okay yeah which you don't think that there should be laws that Force men to hire women right that's it's all right because they're just protecting themselves by your logic
04:00:47
Andrew Wilsonright I don't think that it's the same thing I think we're I don't see where you've made a delineation Palin EXA the same thing I'm protecting myself from a
04:00:57
TTS/Donationsstatistical to hire women just never ever ever let yourself be alone with one for your own safety yeah it's a safy concern that's his point that's the point
04:01:10
Kaylaexactly Amber earthquake drop and cover seriously it earthquake detected drop cover you can see it in the water oh my gosh I can feel it I never exper it's going it's
04:01:22
Vanessa / Charsehappening happening yep it's an earthquake I knew San Andreas was going to happen the second I came here it's going relax relax you're good I'm just kidding it's not
04:01:32
Bellbad I told you guys I hexed you guys sorry it's still going I bless myself with holy water before Sor sorry you guys you're counter
04:01:45
Vanessa / Charseprotection magic didn't work sorry I've been in cat five hurricanes an earthquake yeah really we just I didn't feel anything it just it just moved our water but it said to drop and
04:01:56
Vanessa / Charsecover so drop and cover water shakes yeah where there's one there that must have been a 1.0 isn't there like
04:02:08
Brian AtlasAftershock or something was there a TTS that came into probably a three or four oh little paladins okay we do have another message from Jesus horse these what's
04:02:19
Brian Atlasup these spells are going to backfire on you there's no innocence Clause that's not how magic works you have no understanding on what you're doing you're not King Solomon or Crowley you are a
04:02:32
Bellfraud do you want to respond to that I mean they're entitled to their own beliefs I personally again I have an overwhelming amount of positive
04:02:43
Andrew Wilsonexperiences with clients I would say nine out of 10 clients that come to me leave with better results with Better Lives well I just want to point out that Alistar Crowley also was a fraud and
04:02:55
Andrew Wilsonthat the key of Solomon is a fraudulent book and complete nonsense and really has nothing to do with King Solomon at all but just want to point that out yeah I I feel like it's a bit of a cop
04:03:05
Brian Atlasout though when it comes to the shirt like oh I'm wearing a statement on a shirt but I actually don't believe it my friend told me to do it well it's just a
04:03:17
Brian Atlasjoke yeah well you you'd have no objections like if I went to like if I walked around at UCSB for example and I wore a short that shirt that says like ban female
04:03:27
Vanessa / Charseteachers no no problem wouldn't care wouldn't care ban female guests on podcasts okay all right um perhaps if your friend joke I'm not obious I this
04:03:40
Brian Atlasdoesn't have this hasn't more of an impact on you than I thought it would it's just a funny joke I don't think it's I just think it's a bit of a mandress statement I don't I'm not
04:03:50
Brian Atlascrying like the feminist who is next to you from either yeah no I mean the big old feminist guns blazing that's how she described herself as big old feminist big old feminist all right we're going
04:04:02
Brian Atlasto get into some other some of the other uh show notes Here uh oh wow okay thanks Dave appreciate it um let's do pull up twitch really quick then we'll get into the rest of the pre-show notes guys go to twitch.tv SL whatever drops a follow
04:04:15
Brian Atlasand a prime sub if you have one twitch.tv/ Whatever guys it's been 45 minutes since we last got a prime I think it's bugged can
04:04:25
Brian Atlassomebody help out like un unstuck it unbug it I don't know what is going on it's really weird I don't know why they're you know it's strange I think it's bug somebody maybe can help out let me exit appreciate it I need to fix the
04:04:38
Brian Atlascamera in the center it's a little off but um before I do that uh I did want to pull up Nick could you pull up that Reddit post we'll read it really
04:04:50
Brian Atlasquick so this was posted on Reddit in legal advice uh could you scroll up to the top so we can see the title uh scroll down a little bit okay do I legally have to bring my date back home if I took them out it was quite a substantial distance that we drove I
04:05:04
Brian Atlasmatched with the girl on Tinder and chatted for a couple days she mentioned that there was a big event happening three states over and asked me if I wanted to join her on a short holiday for a week I agreed picked her up we had dinner to see if we clicked and then I drove to the event when we reached the
04:05:17
Brian Atlasevent she ended up hooking up with another guy in the hotel room I'd booked she scampered off and eventually returned to the hotel room very very late after not seeing her for hours and very very drunk obviously I was pissed
04:05:30
Brian Atlasthat I'd been used as a free travel ticket and I had to spend most of my time at this event alone I wasn't expecting to be rewarded with sex but at the very least don't abandon me in another state while you go shacking up
04:05:42
Brian Atlaswith other guys and is still going on for 3 more days the event but can I legally just abandon her here and drive home or do I have a legal obligation to take her with me I'd
04:05:53
Brian Atlasrather not waste any more of my time and I might be able to do okay whatever um I think oh scroll down yeah I told her I was going to leave and and she insisted that I had to wait for her as I was the
04:06:06
Brian Atlasonly way she could get back home States involved are Iowa Illinois and Indiana currently in Indiana so just as a brief kind of more light break from the
04:06:18
Brian Atlasconversation in hand your thoughts on this does he have any obligation to her to leave her leave leave her there why is he asking about legal obligation is there a legal law that that's why he's asking he want to make
04:06:33
TTS/Donationssure Butler donated $200 that was not an earthquake it was the panel's genital warts violently bursting at the seams and shaking the St
04:06:44
TTS/Donationsof California Brian you're putting Andrew at risk you bastard # herpes I I do want to say uh we do uh at least when it comes to the chairs we we
04:06:56
Brian Atlasdisinfect them actually we burn all the chairs after the show every show we have a new set of chairs coming in Jay Butler send me a message on Instagram okay Jay Butler it's been a while I know you came back recently you've been on a Hiatus
04:07:09
Brian Atlasfrom the whatever podcast but He's a brave and a decent man he's a shoot me a message on uh Instagram man I need to uh I need to talk to you bro we're going to get you hooked up on our Discord so
04:07:20
Brian Atlasthank you man okay uh let's get into some of the other notes Here we have Kayla Kayla that is me you're a Christian single mom single for 9 years within that time you had one night stand
04:07:33
Brian Atlasthat led to an adoption uh you mentioned the adoption and that was from a one night stand correct okay you've you say I've never had a HOAs but my typical standards and no relationships in my adult life aside
04:07:47
Brian Atlasfrom my ex-husband um so no no hope phas aside from the one night stand pregnancy i' I've had a few
04:07:56
KaylaDiscretions since my divorce um nothing that all of them one night stands nothing that was like a relationship it's kind of me giving into the world
04:08:05
Brian Atlassaying like go get it girl so I went and got it and then instantly regretted it uh and you said unique yeah you already said this I got pregnant off a one night
04:08:18
Brian Atlasstand gave the baby away through adoption relationship with ex-husband unique uniquely sad do you think uh but did you not want to get into that or I can't get into my ex-husband's relationship with my daughter details
04:08:30
Brian Atlasbut I can talk about my relationship with my ex yeah you said the common story of a girl with low self-confidence staying with the wrong guy with a few extra twists and turns uh yeah so if you want to give us kind of like the plot
04:08:40
Kaylasynopsis version go ahead uh yeah so um well I met him when I was 18 I moved to Maryland when I was 18 I went there for pull the mic a little closer I can move yeah you're good um so I moved to
04:08:52
KaylaMaryland when I was 18 I went to culinary school so that's what brought me out there from Indiana oddly enough he just said he was in Indiana um and I met my ex-husband when I was 18 we work at Bob Evans together I pursued him I
04:09:04
Kaylawas always the girl that went after the guys as like a young girl um so when I went off to college I did the same thing and we broke up a few times cuz he thought we were not puzzle pieces that like met each other like we weren't
04:09:17
Kaylameant to be in his opinion but I kind of kept pushing at it cuz again low self-esteem you kind of find what you think you're supposed to be finding and you kind of cling on to it and at the time that's what he was to me he was
04:09:30
Kaylajust he wasn't a mean guy he just wasn't a guy that loved me and so I would sit there for years just doing all I could to prove to him like how wely I could be how solid I could be I worked on my own
04:09:42
KaylaI lived on my own like we were together for8 years and we didn't move in with each other till 6 months before we were married because he wanted to make sure I was a solid person a whole person on my own before we could be whole people
04:09:52
Kaylatogether and he was just very narcissistic very just like I don't know ignorant to my emotional sides just like some men can
04:10:02
Kaylabe but at the same time I know it's very he's not abusive physically just very emotionally made me feel like my opinions do matter my
04:10:13
Kaylaemotions didn't matter and I was okay with it until I was married and then I we got pregnant on our wedding day and I always say that when my daughter came out of my vagina she pulled out my balls because after I gave birth to my
04:10:25
Kayladaughter I started realizing how I did deserve more than a man who thought I was just okay I deserved more than a man who said I actually wasn't the most beautiful girl in the room and all those
04:10:34
Kaylasorts of things and we divorced because I something came up with my daughter and I wouldn't just believe him and he actually was the one that went to court and filed for divorce to me so I
04:10:47
Kayladidn't divorce him he divorced me because I wouldn't just side with him and that was my marriage um in a nutshell was just he was a whatever guy
04:10:57
Kaylagasy very gasy I don't know he was just very much of a whatever dude not a yes man so we lived a life with no amenities we had no credit cards we didn't own anything extravagant I wasn't
04:11:10
Kaylaallowed we weren't allowed to have cable in the house we didn't have the internet because it was sounds great mean I currently actually still have no internet or cable in my house because once you remove yourself from that addiction you realize how frivolous it
04:11:21
Kaylais and it's also an extra $120 in my pocket um but when you're in a relationship with someone who says like no to anything besides Food House gas job it was very limited life and it I
04:11:35
Kaylajust lived in that for a long time it was kind of like how people live throughout all of history pretty much which I came from a very um gruntled and dysfunctional like family lifestyle
04:11:46
KaylaDynamic when I was a child so to me it was very stable like the doldrums of our relationship looking back at it yes it was boring yes there was no like emotional growth yes to a lot of things
04:11:57
Kaylathat didn't happen but it was stable he wasn't off the rails crazy guy he wasn't yelling at me all the time he wasn't constantly moving he wasn't constantly doing a whole bunch of stuff he just wasn't doing any could that makes sense
04:12:10
Kaylaand you miss being married I don't Miss married being married to him but I do miss being married like I always grew up thinking that I would be a married woman I would
04:12:20
Kaylabe a woman creating children someone fostering like a household nurturing a man being behind a man like filling up his cup as he fills others sort of situation because I feel like that's
04:12:31
Kaylawhat wives are kind of meant to do um so I do miss that and I still do long for it I know I'm 40 what was the what was this Breaking Point with the daughter unless it's that's like she's
04:12:43
Kaylait's stuff yeah I'm like an illegal custody battle so I'm not allowed to say things that might influence how people view him um but it came to a situation where I had a 2-year-old coming to me saying a certain thing had happened in
04:12:55
Kaylaher life and I had a choice to either listen to a 2-year-old that had no reason to make up anything or listen to a man who reaction to it was very angry normally I find that if someone is
04:13:07
Kaylapresented with something that has happened if they come at you with anger that's normally guilt which normally kind of says yes this has actually happened I mean it's a natural reaction get angry there FAL accusation toal true
04:13:20
Kaylayou I do agree with that yeah if there's a false accusation I would get angry reaction yes but after I think like months of conversation going through therapy if if the level of anger
04:13:33
Brian Atlasnever subsides it kind of it it okay well one one thing on that that I that's interesting to me is like if somebody says you did something maybe you did
04:13:46
Brian Atlasmaybe you didn't but then if you they say if you become defensive but like how do you do you expect people to not defend themselves if they've been falsely accused of something that's why
04:13:57
Brian AtlasI don't understand like isn't that the point like you want to defend yourself but people will use your defensiveness oh you must have done something because you're so defensive well I think it's
04:14:10
Kaylait's kind of like the same way how some men view women when they become in conversation yes you have every right to defend yourself with a defense if all it is is an emotional reaction and there's no
04:14:22
Vanessa / Charseanything behind it to prove it otherwise besides an emotional I thought men were supposed to be more in touch with their emotions I think when it comes to your child it's that that's it's a hard line though I mean right assuming taking
04:14:35
Brian Atlasmaking some assumptions about what sort of accusation this must have been I mean seems like pretty catastrophic life ruining life ending
04:14:45
Brian Atlascriminal potential criminal prosecution reputational destruction I could see somebody getting emotional
04:14:54
Lindsayover their whole life potentially being ruined but it puts mother in a rock and hard place it does put so I can kind of speak to this as well because my husband
04:15:05
Lindsayand I actually had this situation happened to us um with my stepdaughter and he was put through the Gambit we had her like on rare basis and the mother
04:15:16
Lindsayput in false allegations against him that he like brutally beat her and we had to go through investigators and all sorts of stuff to clear his dat like she took it all the way the da the da and
04:15:29
Kaylaall sorts of stuff to have to clear his name and he was 100% innocent and it was a really hard time and like and I totally like get that and that's why like I'm not even mentioning what it is cuz yeah I did not leave him because of
04:15:42
Kaylathose and we don't need the specific yeah like I the divorce didn't happen because of what had happened with my daughter it happened because he filed for the divorce yeah yeah he it happened because he had filed for but here's but here so I'm I'm thinking about this as
04:15:55
Andrew Wilsonyou're talking about so if my I'm thinking if if somebody brought from my perception a false allegation against me to my wife and my wife
04:16:06
Andrew Wilsonbelieved it you know what I mean wouldn't that that would feel to me like the ultimate Act of betrayal right so I as I think about it I'm like
04:16:18
Andrew Wilsonwell maybe I would do the same [ __ ] maybe I'd be like well you know this is a pretty big deal and the fact that you don't believe me and you're supposed to believe me that's like that would that
04:16:29
Kaylawould feel like a big Act of betrayal I think I think that I could see myself doing something like that you know what I mean no and I totally understand it cuz yeah and um again not to get into
04:16:41
Kaylaspecifics like I I tell ex-husband even still that I don't believe it's it's not because I'm being vague it's kind of hard to say but I'm I'm not even to the point where I've convinced and I want to
04:16:53
Kaylaruin a reputation because again it was on the word of a young child saying something might have happened or something did happen or I was scared of a certain situation let's say it that way that's why I didn't go straight and
04:17:05
Kaylafiled for divorce that's why I'm not wanting to mention it here and I I didn't I didn't even write it down in like my divorce papers of like this is why it's happening because I didn't want it to become a false accusation that
04:17:16
Kaylabecame something that ruined someone's reputation because boy howdy do those things like certainly do ruin people's reputations but at the same time if in a relationship if you're saying especially
04:17:28
Kaylawhen you have a child involved because yes Mama bears that comes out real hard real it's really hard for us to say whoa whoa whoa I feel like I need to protect my child and yes I understand like I don't want
04:17:40
Kaylato and looking back I really hate the fact that I have had to kind of betray the trust of my ex-husband and I had to sit there and like go is this even possible like the man who I love and the man who I married do I want to believe
04:17:53
Kaylathis and the answer was no and the answer still is I I don't want to believe that anything like that was happening or however um sure but I
04:18:05
Kaylastill have to sit back and say well this is how it affected my child and this is how it's going on and I have to do the best for her but again I didn't really necessarily want a divorce and he was the one that filed for it because I
04:18:16
Kaylastill was wanting to work through the matter where he just wanted it to just stop and that's what led to divorce it's just like and I get it yeah but at the
04:18:27
Lindsaysame time I I couldn't just I couldn't just turn off my needing an answer okay yeah there's there's nothing wrong with you like asking question yeah you know getting to I responsible to ask
04:18:39
Brian Atlasquestions absolutely yeah so you said uh moving on you disagree on the uh on The View uh Brian
04:18:48
Brian Atlasand most others have on single moms so I'm I guess what is the position that you think I or others have on this well I not necessarily your point of view um
04:19:01
Kaylasorry thank you um it's just point of views I've heard before on this podcast or other podcasts about how generally children of single mothers
04:19:11
Kaylaturn out to be the best bad Bunches of the world true and and I I get that and I don't disagree with like the
04:19:19
Kaylastatistics of it and all I just I guess where I I disagree is putting solely the blame on the fact that it's a single
04:19:28
Kaylamother and not necessarily a single parent in general because some of the turnout situations could still be the same if it was they're not though when
04:19:39
Andrew Wilsonit's a single father at home the uh s and the outcomes are significantly better than when it's with a single mother at home that's why it's viewed
04:19:48
Andrew Wilsonthis way with so much Social stigma so the idea is not to say that uh women who are single many times women can become single through no fault of their own perhaps they're in an abusive an
04:20:01
Andrew Wilsonactual abusive relationship perhaps their husband dies perhaps you know there's any number of different situations which can cause it but if you looking to advise if you're
04:20:13
Andrew Wilsonjust if let's say you had an entire pool of men to advise and you were to look at the numbers and you go okay look the amount of [ __ ] that you're going to put up with marrying a single mom versus not
04:20:24
Andrew Wilsonmarrying a single mom is massive you're going be putting up with a lot more [ __ ] a lot more trouble now you got exes involved you got all all of this involved right babies it's probably
04:20:36
Andrew Wilsonbetter if you have viable options external to a single mom to take those now there's situations many situations where marrying a single mother works out
04:20:46
Andrew Wilsonfine dating single moms works out fine there was no problem with that but it's not often right those are um those are much smaller in the percentage of the
04:20:57
Andrew Wilsonpool versus the amount of people who end up in with catastrophic situations because now they have to not only deal with you but they have to deal with children that are not theirs and then
04:21:10
Andrew Wilsonthe fathers of those children the extended family of those fathers of those children who all want to be involved um that's that's where the the Viewpoint is is like so if you were
04:21:21
Andrew Wilsongoing to advise your son if you had all of that data and there was options in front of them and so option one is really like this girl but you know she has children from another man but I also
04:21:33
Andrew Wilsonreally like this girl and she doesn't right it seems pretty clear that you would advise him hey maybe you should think if that option is available to you about going with that because there's less potential for damage to you if
04:21:46
Brian Atlasyou're looking for the best for your own kids right does that make sense oh yeah definitely before before I have you answer that I actually didn't hear you actually raise this from the context of
04:21:57
Brian Atlasdating now perhaps it's your position the only thing I heard was just you've heard people say that when it comes to raising children the outcomes of the children when raised in a uh single
04:22:09
Brian Atlasmother household as compared to single father household but is it also just because Andrew is now in the realm of dating right yeah is are you also have qualms there when it comes to hey it's
04:22:21
Brian Atlasuh it's uh suboptimal to date single moms as opposed to childless women oh no definitely not like I I definitely dis Andrew I think her position is simply
04:22:31
Brian Atlasjust the whole uh single moms raising children the outcomes for the children as compared to the single father's not really a dating think she has qu on dating front they're much worse across the board okay so they're much worse in
04:22:44
Andrew Wilsoncriminality and here's why I I'll tell you why this is the case it's because of the external component of stepdad so stepfathers are far more likely to abuse the kids
04:22:55
Andrew Wilsonstepdads are far more likely to have a revolving door right or boyfriends much more likely to have a revolving door single dads doesn't work that way right so if a
04:23:08
Andrew Wilsonsingle dad has another woman who ENT in the kid's life they have a lot more power to do something about any type of problem which may occur right not going to have the same dependency issues they not going to have the same revolving
04:23:19
Andrew Wilsondoor and so that the chance of abuse go significantly down so for instance if I was single tomorrow and I was dating a woman and I saw some kind of abusive tenants right very easy for me to be
04:23:31
Andrew Wilsonlike get the [ __ ] out of here lunatic and what is she going to do about it nothing but the other way might not be so easy right so this is why you generally have have better outcomes with
04:23:43
Andrew Wilsonsingle fathers is because uh they can actually do something when it comes to this idea of abuse and they are far more likely far more likely than the biological dad to abuse kids like overwhelmingly not all of them do it in
04:23:57
Andrew Wilsonfact probably most of them don't do it I'm just saying that statistically they're more likely to so that's that's why the outcomes tend to be better with single fathers than single mothers and isn't there data that per capita looking
04:24:09
Brian Atlasat children raised by single fathers as compared to single mothers for example incidents of criminality yeah I brought that up but that's why the the incidences of criminality come sure so
04:24:20
Andrew Wilsonme being single is is better for my child is like what it be I do have to move it on but if so if you can make chances the chances are and this is just
04:24:30
Andrew Wilsonraw facts these are just raw facts okay the chances of you introducing a new man into your child's life are likely going to be more detrimental than if you were
04:24:41
Andrew Wilsonin a relationship with a child's biological father for the course now that doesn't mean that that's going to be true I'm just talking about risk factors the risk factors are higher that's all so yeah so I'm saying like
04:24:54
Kaylafrom my point of I've been single since I've been single so from your what you're explaining that means that like my outcome would be slightly better because I'm not having that rting the
04:25:06
Andrew Wilsonoutcome May the outcome may be slightly better because you don't have other men coming in however it's still going to to be suboptimal as to if you had probably stayed with the father and so that's why
04:25:17
Andrew Wilsonlike you said you're a Christian churches will often recommend look there's no abuse there's no drugs there's no stuff like that you guys are just having a hard time reconciling some issues you should probably still stay together to make sure that the kids have
04:25:30
Andrew Wilsonthe best shot at life because after they're out the door then you can do something different you know what I mean but that's that's often why even even non religious counselors will often advise this
04:25:43
Brian Atlasokay uh you said also the Viewpoint that women are more attractive at 20 than 40 so what was your thing there I mean kind of you asked earlier about if I thought
04:25:53
KaylaI look better now than I did at 20 and I understand the whole Mana point of view about like how they look how when we're younger we look more fertile and we are
04:26:04
Kaylamore yeah fertile looking as young women I just personally I believe that women look slightly better even men we look better in that middle of age somewhere between 30 and 40 when we have more matured
04:26:16
Kaylafeatures we slightly don't look so babyish in our faces not as young and and I just think that we look slightly better slightly I think I think as women
04:26:27
Andrew Wilsonage definitely their tast age when it comes to when it comes to men 100% not confident that is the case the other way around that uh that women or I'm sorry
04:26:37
Andrew Wilsonthat men aren't still attracted to younger women because all the data that I've seen most definitely shows that they are as women it seems that their tastes slightly deviate though they
04:26:49
Andrew Wilsonstill from a beauty standard points still go okay 25-year-old men are still better looking on average than 45y old men men age like fine wine like well I think the taste change because of the
04:27:01
Andrew Wilsonvaluation of different things they just value different things men at 45 are still looking at women as as vessels and carriers of children that's where the attraction comes from so youth is associated with that of course you
04:27:13
Andrew Wilsonthat's why you'd be attracted to younger women yep so I mean it's not it's not even really that difficult to understand it's not yeah I don't dise do you have the study though actually we can bring
04:27:25
Vanessa / Charseyou can go to if you want I think you can understanding really good place to Source a lot of this data especially on the abuse in the home you can go to my
04:27:35
Andrew Wilsonwife substack Rachel Wilson and uh and you can check I mean she's gone through and compiled huge huge amounts of data just to kind of go through these one at a time because she argues with feminist
04:27:47
Andrew Wilsonso much probably the best anti-feminist debater in the world and um love to meet her yeah her book ult feminism it compiles some of this but her substack has most of the kind of cultural battle
04:27:58
Andrew Wilsonstatistics that we're kind of going over all the time but especially Ina in the case like this and I think what happens is people often they think that you're attacking them based on their situation
04:28:11
Andrew Wilsonwhen you're not really really attacking them based on their situation you're just explaining the distinction in risk assessment you're like look if I'm going to advise somebody if I were to tell a man right is it a good idea in 2024 to
04:28:24
Andrew Wilsonget together with a single mom if another Choice was viable the answer is definitely no it is definitely no you shouldn't okay I would agre with that and and what happens is because they're in the situation where they themselves
04:28:37
Andrew Wilsonare a single mom they see that as an attack but it's not an attack it's just showing look um this is what is true it's not the case that it may be true in your
04:28:47
Andrew Wilsonsituation or anybody's situation um but there is there is like a statistic here that we can look to that we can make these kind of General determinations off
04:28:58
Brian Atlasof based on outcomes is there a statistic that you know of about two single parents honestly the only reason I brought up statistics is because it was just a call back to the feminist who needed the statistic thing on on everything so um
04:29:12
Brian Atlasso I need to get through the rest of the notes Here we have Riley um Riley you have a crazy hookup story yeah I have lots but I have one specific one oh I have lots but I have one specific one
04:29:25
Riley Risa / CharseI'll tell um okay it's okay so one time I met this guy at the beach and um we decided to
04:29:35
Riley Risa / Charsehook up there's not much to it anyways um he kind of had like an offensive sense of humor which is fine like
04:29:45
Riley Risa / Charsesometimes that's funny to me but um we were hooking up and he said what I thought was a joke but it turns out it wasn't um he asked me if I wanted to
04:29:57
Riley Risa / Charseroleplay as Helen Keller um Helen Keller was real she was not she was not real she was not real and I laughed at that and he like got
04:30:09
Riley Risa / Charsemad and like put his hand over my mouth and told me to shut up [ __ ] because Helen Keller cannot talk and he was being dead serious oh God [ __ ] yeah so
04:30:20
Brian Atlasthat's one of them that's probably yeah funniest okay whoa Helen K's the deaf Lady Death
04:30:29
Riley Risa / CharseBlind by the way this was also my first time so what shut up it was wait wait wait like first time having sex yes oh
04:30:40
Brian Atlasno how long did you know the guy for mine was on a pet like a week so you just you're losing and but you did Pro wait hold
04:30:52
Brian Atlason was it before having sex he asked you to do this or you guys had sex no like while we were having sex mid mid thrust yeah he wanted you to be Helen Keller yeah did you did he know you were
04:31:04
TTS/Donationsa virgin yes what the [ __ ] J vanic donated $200 Mrs Catholic what's the catechism
04:31:14
Riley Risa / Charsesay about Beach hookups and H and K play um well I don't like I only say I'm Catholic cuz when I was born I was baptized and my family is Catholic but I
04:31:26
Riley Risa / Charsedon't necessarily like practice Yeah practice or believe every single thing but so are are you Catholic are you religious do you believe in God I believe in God I'm still trying to Fig are you
04:31:37
Riley Risa / CharseChristian yeah I'm still trying to figure it all out I just I I I'm trying to figure fig it out right now are you on a journey I guess so I'm on a journey you're on a journey of self-discovery
04:31:48
Brian Atlasyeah I definitely do believe in God though and wait how old old were you for the Helen Keller virginity story 17 17 and was this like somebody you went to
04:31:59
Riley Risa / Charseschool with or you were on vacation no I was on I was at like my friend's birthday party so kind of on vacation and I met him at the beach and we hung
04:32:09
Andrew Wilsonout and then how old was he he was also so 17 okay and then we like started texting and I went back out to see him and that's when it happened but is this one of those things where he was just
04:32:21
Brian Atlastrying to be funny no I thought so I thought so but no he wasn't he was very aggressive with it 1year olds are role playing what the
04:32:32
Brian Atlas[ __ ] God damn bro they get started early with the crazy [ __ ] what the [ __ ] I'm not really sure how he a very weird role play damn
04:32:42
Brian Atlasolds doing some crazy [ __ ] yeah no I just I had a simil God damn save that for your 20s at least what the [ __ ] maybe 30s I don't think that should ever be happening yeah or yeah wait you you
04:32:54
Riley Risa / Charsedon't think what I don't think anybody ever needs to roleplay Helen kellerer during sex no but you can't wait so like you met this but you you hung out with him
04:33:05
Brian Atlasbefore right yeah like why was he also kind of like a little aggress like aggressive with his jokes or what he made like jokes that some people
04:33:15
Riley Risa / Charsewould perceive as offensive like for example my friend asked him how tall he was so then he asked her how much she
04:33:24
Brian Atlasweighs that's valid I think that's valid actually valid [ __ ] Legend he also like I'm a [ __ ]
04:33:33
Riley Risa / CharseLegend he um he also had like a poster in his like dorm room that wa dorm room yeah it happened I thought was on
04:33:42
Riley Risa / Charsevacation it was but he okay so I live in Florida so like it was my friend's birthday and she was having it at like a hotel that was on the beach so I say
04:33:53
Riley Risa / Charsevacation um and he went to a college that's right next to it so we hung out on the beach and then he we started texting and he invited me back and I visit was it when you say dorm room like
04:34:04
Brian AtlasI know some dorm rooms there's like bunk beds yeah it was like triple was it a triple or how many people were lived in the room just two yeah was his roommate
04:34:14
Riley Risa / Charsethere at the time no no I wouldn't have let that happen put the sock on the door how how much time so you met him you said A week went by I don't remember the
04:34:25
Brian Atlasexact time cuz Okay so you met him once yeah and then like timeline here met him once but you didn't hook up when you first met him correct not like you got
04:34:37
Brian Atlasyou met you met at the beach got the number then you planned for a second meet up which was in his dorm room yeah so second meet up in his dorm room and then you pretty much got right down to
04:34:49
Brian Atlasbusiness no we like watched the movie and stuff first okay but that's when the Helen Keller thing wait so just to be clear um uh I can't Helen Keller doesn't talk
04:35:01
Riley Risa / Charseshe doesn't ex too loud she never exist I literally I started laughing and he got aggressive and put his hand over my mouth and said shut up [ __ ] was he drunk no
04:35:12
Brian Atlasthis is a peculiar story um very peculiar I know maybe he's like d here so wait like what point like it was just in the middle he was like be Helen
04:35:23
Riley Risa / CharseKeller yes yeah so Random normal missionary and then he just says want to role play as Helen Keller were you being loud you told wait did you tell him you were you told him you were yes he knew
04:35:35
Riley Risa / Charsehe knew and so this is the guy you pick to take your I'm sorry okay well the reason I picked him it's because she didn't know how far I probably would change it uh if I could
04:35:46
Riley Risa / Charsenow but like I kind of was scared for my first time so I wanted to get it over with with somebody I didn't know so in case it was like embarrassing it wouldn't like I wouldn't have to see
04:35:57
Riley Risa / Charsethat person again but um interesting what the name of woman I wouldn't choose that way now but 17-year-old me that's wait I have a question um so like second date then
04:36:10
Brian Atlasbasically like second time meeting him you guys so how much so he met you on the beach got your phone number he approached you or you approached him or how did it work he approached me but like we he had a friend with him at the
04:36:22
Brian Atlastime we met and then like him and his friend ended up hanging out with me and my friend whose birthday it was like right then and there on the beach and then you got exchange numbers well yeah
04:36:34
Brian Atlaswe like went up to my friend's hotel room we like Played Like Cards Against Humanity and then like when he was leaving time did you hang out that first
04:36:45
Brian Atlastime like five hours five hours and then you went over to his dorm watch the movie and then got Helen Keller
04:36:56
Brian Atlasum and I'm just curious like so you've I mean that was when you were 17 you're 23 now I'm sure you've had other 22 I just turned 22 wait my notes oh sorry my
04:37:06
Brian Atlasnotes got all out of order here 22 excuse me so uh just turned 22 I'm sure you've had the other dating experiences I'm just curious like cuz you said I just wanted to get out of the way losing
04:37:17
Brian Atlasit or whatever The Virginity um would you were you making like subsequent men wait to have sex um I don't know I don't understand
04:37:29
Brian Atlasthe question get over with the subsequent men that you hooked up with I'm assuming you have hooked up with subsequent men um like would you make them some women
04:37:42
Brian Atlasmake men wait for sex would you make them wait for sex like now like who I'm seeing now sure people that you've dated
04:37:51
Riley Risa / Charselike after that have you made them wait um I mean I do that now because I feel
04:37:58
Riley Risa / Charselike I just I value my s a little bit better nowadays so like I now I make them wait but like back then like right after it happened know I
04:38:11
Riley Risa / Charsewas kind of going through like a phase right so when you say now you make them wait what does that look like like I would never like have sex on like the first date or like I don't make him wa wait like a
04:38:23
Vanessa / Charselong time I'd probably say like five dates did you have any like five relationships prior to losing Virginia to him like any boyfriends so what made you want to like get it over with and
04:38:35
Vanessa / Charselose it with the with the random rather than with the boyfriend that you were dating before um well I I don't even know I was I was
04:38:47
Riley Risa / Charseyeah I was a little bit scared because were you talking during the that's what I asked asked that like were you being too loud like door like sorry continue answering their it was normal like I he
04:38:59
Brian Atlasjust randomly said it to me so Random yeah cuz someone in the chat said maybe she was just like talking a lot and no I swear I was not just feel like most virgins aren't like
04:39:10
Riley Risa / Charsedoing dirty talk and also I like I can I I understand jokes like my sense of humor is offensive so like I understand when it is a joke sure and this was not a joke and so you're you're currently
04:39:22
Brian Atlasseeing somebody or yeah but we're not like officially together how long have you guys been talking or whatever a year but like off and on whoa okay hold on
04:39:32
Brian Atlasdid you make this guy wait uh yeah is he still waiting no is he still okay I thought you said you've been single for 2 years I am but you've been you've been seeing this guy for one year yeah but
04:39:44
Brian Atlaswe're we've never been official like we've never like put a label on it you're but you're having but you're situ you're having sex with him um sometimes are you sleeping with
04:39:55
Brian Atlasother men no during the During the oneyear period I have have you slept with other men while you've been in this onee period with them yeah yes okay not only only one other guy how
04:40:08
Riley Risa / Charselong wait so how long did you make this guy wait yeah I think it was like five dates and then what about that one other guy that was in between um um yeah that was like the
04:40:19
Brian AtlasFirst first day I don't do that anymore but that was like this this is what uh sometimes is kind of crazy but that was also just for a hookup like I wasn't
04:40:29
Brian Atlastrying to like meet somebody today furing The Stereotype of all Catholic girls I don't I don't get this thing of like okay I I don't have I don't
04:40:40
Brian Atlasactually have any qualms when it comes to sleeping with someone quickly if it's just a hookup I'll well of course do it right away but then the guy that is
04:40:52
Brian Atlasworthy of something longer term or continuous or even a relationship he gets to wait that's always confusing to me and the other confusing thing to me is like as a guy look you're free to do
04:41:05
Brian Atlaswhatever you want you lose your virginity within 30 seconds of meeting some total [ __ ] boy and then the next guy who comes along who you want a relationship with I suppose you can make
04:41:15
Brian Atlashim wait 6 months I would as a guy though I would be like hold up the first time you ever had sex you you were a
04:41:27
Brian Atlasvirgin and the expectation there would be well the first time you have sex there would be almost an expectation that that would be the instance in which women choose to wait a longer period of
04:41:39
Brian Atlastime before having sex is when you lose your virginity but that women are doing this [ __ ] like in Reverse almost like you lose your virginity just randomly yeah I can't explain my 17-year-old
04:41:50
Brian Atlaslogic like I said I'm not like that anymore that's fine I just would be like if some girl told me by the way Brian I lost my virginity within 30 minutes of meeting some random dude on the beach
04:42:02
Brian Atlaswho said some weird [ __ ] to me while we were [ __ ] but for you Brian now that I don't have my virginity uh I want to wait till date
04:42:11
Vanessa / Charsenumber five I would necessarily say like we have to wait I kind of like I would kind of put that question around on you though are you going to value a woman
04:42:21
Vanessa / Charsemore like date wise if you meet her and she talk to you the first hour ex if you went on a cover her dates and like she had thought like she had a little bit M morals are you more likely to end up
04:42:33
Brian Atlasdating her and staying with her because he respected her a little bit more exactly that's what I'm so that's I kind of that question I me so in this specific situation you had a woman who's a virgin here who slept with the guy
04:42:45
Brian Atlasrelatively quickly it has really no bearing talking about just like thir dating one the year and but so I while I do think the quickness and rapidity with
04:42:55
Brian Atlaswhich somebody sleeps with you could be a marker for their promiscuity or past promiscuity or their body count it doesn't necessarily like if a
04:43:05
Brian Atlasgirl sleeps with you quickly it doesn't necessarily mean that she has a high body count or she's promiscuous correct it could just be that but she probably
04:43:15
Brian Atlasdoes no actually not not necessarily it it could be a greater indicator but I mean for me I don't have any quals with
04:43:25
Vanessa / Charsehooking up relatively quickly like you wouldn't it wouldn't Dev you in your mind as far as how quickly she stuck with you like whether you were datable or not no I don't think it would have uh
04:43:38
Riley Risa / Charseit certainly wouldn't have any impact on my yeah from all the guys like I've experienced going out with like they usually don't want to date you if you have sex with them the first time
04:43:51
Riley Risa / Charsebecause then they think you're like dirty or something that's that's they don't want to turn a hoe into a housewife yeah that's what I've heard um I can't speak for every man but that's
04:44:01
Riley Risa / Charsethat's usually what I hear and that's kind of why I've like cuz I do I want to I want to get married someday and I want to like I want a husband you know so I'm TR well I mean but if so here's the