She Is 6ft10?! She Gets BORED & Dumps Men?! Single BUT Unavailable? 3 VlRGlNS? | Dating Talk #181
Date: 2024-07-24
Duration: 7h 24m
Guests
Identified Speakers
SPEAKER_02Natalie(guest)
SPEAKER_03Panel (mixed)(guest)
SPEAKER_08Brian Atlas(host)
SPEAKER_11Andrew Wilson(guest)
SPEAKER_13Sophia (UCSB)(guest)
Key Moments
00:03:13
IntroGuest panel introductions round
“have the guests introduce themselves please tell us your name age location and occupation”
00:08:39
QuoteSophia Nevada reveals she is Miss Nevada United World, competing for international title Labor Day 2024
“I'm also currently your Miss Nevada United World I will be competing for the international title this Labor Day weekend”
00:19:56
QuoteSophia UCSB reveals she gets bored and dumps men every ~3 months; the "3-month rule"
“I get bored with a person... do you know the 3 month rule you're always excited to see this person and you just want to hang out with them all the time and then like that feeling just slowly fades away”
00:23:02
QuoteSophia (UCSB) wants to see boyfriend only once every 2 weeks - described as wanting extreme independence
“I want a long-distance relationship maybe see each other once every two weeks”
00:40:52
QuoteKaani reveals she is "single but not available" - still loves Muslim ex, waiting to heal
“I am single but not available... I'm single but I'm not interested or looking for anyone... my heart is still for him”
01:16:46
QuoteVirgin hat trick reveal - Sophia UCSB, Victoria, and one other guest all confirmed virgins
“wait are you also a virgin okay any other virgins any virgins virgins at the table no way there's no way”
01:50:58
QuoteBear vs man scenario introduced - asking panel who they would rather be dropped in forest with
“you get randomly dropped into a forest you can choose for a random man or a random bear to also be randomly dropped in a forest with you”
02:01:55
QuoteSophia UCSB claims 60% of men would murder or assault a woman - Brian challenges the figure
“more than 50%... 60%... 60% would do what murder you either murder me or try to like essay you”
03:04:55
QuoteHaley shares story of 3yr situationship with man who withheld all relationship privileges "not until you're my wife"
“anytime someone tells you they won't do certain things for you unless you are their wife run”
03:14:20
QuoteHaley confronts that ex gave new girlfriend everything within 1 month that he withheld from her for 3 years
“literally a month later and did everything post within one month... shared my location with her and I just didn't feel like I needed to unshare it”
Topics Discussed
00:03:13
Guest introductions
Each guest introduces themselves: name, age, location, occupation. Brian follows up with relationship status for each.
00:09:40
Dating app profile review
Panel reviews a submitted dating app (Hinge) profile from a Princeton student. Discusses what "spontaneous adventure" means in dating profiles.
01:01:40
Roster / dating multiple people
Discussion of whether guests have had a "roster" of multiple dating partners simultaneously. Sophia admits to breaking up due to boredom (3-month rule).
01:10:00
Macy - height, world record, dating, OnlyFans
Extended discussion with Macy about her 6'10" height, Guinness World Record for longest female legs, dating challenges, OnlyFans content (dick ratings), Marfan syndrome.
01:21:40
Sticky note / body count and traditional values
Kaani presents sticky note analogy: women lose "stickiness" with high body count if seeking traditional men. Panel debates.
01:33:20
Virgins reveal / virgin hat trick
Sophia (UCSB), Victoria (implied), and a third guest revealed as virgins. Discussion of waiting for right person vs marriage.
01:50:58
Bear vs man in forest
Classic bear/man thought experiment. Panel split: Macy, Sophia (UCSB), Natalie pick bear; others pick man. Discussion of fear of men, random threat probability.
02:00:00
Sexual assault statistics / UCSB study
Sophia (UCSB) cites orientation study claiming 7/10 UCSB women experienced "essay" (broadly defined). Brian challenges definition including catcalling.
03:05:00
Haley - 3yr situationship / withheld commitment
Haley shares story of man who refused to post her/share location/"until you are my wife" for 3 years, then gave new girlfriend everything within 1 month.
03:06:00
Why men move on faster (or do women?)
Discussion of which gender moves on faster post-breakup. Haley argues women move on faster; evolutionary explanation from Brian (men dying in war).
03:15:00
50/50 relationships and who pays
Panel debate on 50/50 relationship dynamics, who pays on first date, and who should ask whom out.
04:26:40
Age gap debate
Discussion on age gaps in relationships. Brian asks whether healthy 20yr/33yr relationship is better than jaded same-age dating.
06:36:40
Andrew Wilson call-in: trans identity debate
Andrew Wilson calls in. Extended debate on transgender identity, ontological sex categories, trans disclosure in dating, gender and patriarchy.
07:01:40
Men not caring about women's careers
Brian argues men do not find women more attractive due to academic/career achievements. Panel debates, Sophia Nevada agrees from personal experience.
07:20:00
Outro / raid
Brian wraps up, does Twitch raid of Aladar (World of Warcraft). Andrew Wilson raid mentioned.
Transcript
Page 2 of 8
00:55:34
Brian Atlasadventure what does that mean to well okay we'll get back to that uh Princeton short she's looking for shortterm and she's non- monogamous that means if you're you know this is for the viewers
00:55:46
Brian Atlasin the chat who are you know considering she's going to be sleeping with seven other men okay next my Mo most spontaneous thing I've done download this app is there another
00:55:59
Brian Atlasone or is there go back to the adventure one most oh okay we'll see the other ones you should leave a comment if you
00:56:10
Brian Atlaswant to show me around town okay next all right go so go back to yep wait no no no go back to dating me is
00:56:20
Brian Atlaslike going on a spontaneous adventure but then go to that next prompt yeah no The Prompt going no no no okay
00:56:31
Brian Atlasdating me is like going on a spontaneous adventure go to the next prompt okay the most spontaneous thing she's ever done though is download a dating app so
00:56:42
Brian Atlasdating her go back again one more time so dating her is like going on the spontaneous adventure but the most ad spontaneous thing she's ever done is downloaded a dating app this is going to
00:56:53
Brian Atlasbe a very dull Affair very dull Adventure yeah right when I think of Adventure I think you're going to go somewhere there's going to be a
00:57:03
Brian Atlasview but you'll just download a dating app with her anyways uh that's my I don't know so what does it mean to the panel y'all want a guy to take you on an adventure I hear this from women all the
00:57:15
Brian Atlastime you want a guy to take you on an adventure what the does that mean I'm confused I'm confused as a guy what does it mean starting with Macy
00:57:27
Panel (mixed)if you're inclined to have Adventures I mean for me I'm not very much of an adventure person but like if
00:57:36
Panel (mixed)a person was to like plan out a whole day's event and like take me around and like do stuff I feel like that's kind of
00:57:44
Panel (mixed)what she means when she says that okay what about you spontaneous to me I guess that really just means like kind
00:57:55
Panel (mixed)of last minute doing something really just fun and kind of random that like the other person wouldn't really
00:58:05
Sophia (UCSB)expect okay what about you miss I get bored super easy I like to have them plan out the entire day and have like 10 different things to do in
00:58:16
Brian Atlasthat one day which is yeah it's like a bunch of spontaneous things in one day would you consider yourself more introverted or extroverted I think I'm introverted do you like to go out and do
00:58:29
Brian Atlasthings or you prefer to stay at home I love to go out and do things you like to go out and do things okay um the guy who you were dating the first one you explained to us that was on again off
00:58:40
Brian Atlasagain three times you said he was boring to Sweet uh what how often would you guys go out would you say and go out and do a date anytime I'm back at home so oh
00:58:51
Brian Atlaswas this long distance mhm oh you didn't tell us that oh yeah so you're here and he lives you're from
00:58:59
Panel (mixed)La so he's in La mhm a it's not too far then mhm huh okay all right uh what about you I think for me I know spontaneous is just randomly at any time
00:59:11
Panel (mixed)but I think for me it's when the guy puts in the effort and the work to plan something on his own without me having to hint at it or him me telling him or sending all these random videos about what I want it's just him putting the
00:59:22
Panel (mixed)time not telling me about it picking me up and we do whatever he wants or what he plans I guess I can agree with that um when a man is considerate and like he thinks of what you would want um and
00:59:33
Panel (mixed)then just plan the day even if it's random yeah I agree just like plan date on a random day that yeah well I don't know I kind of want to
00:59:45
Panel (mixed)be involved in the process just like make sure we're doing something cool but um I like being like spontaneous so just decide now and do it five minutes later
00:59:58
Panel (mixed)also very last minute but also like maybe something out of my comfort zone but also safe so that I know it's going to be fun but I know that I'm like you
01:00:08
Panel (mixed)know like secure pretty much I think guys don't want to have any sort of failure or room for failure so like what you were hinting at is she
01:00:18
Panel (mixed)kind of wants to have a say in what you're doing so I think by a woman saying that she wants to be spontaneous she's hinting that she wants to just go do something out of the blue but the guy
01:00:28
Panel (mixed)is like how do I win at that how do I make you happy so I've learned that communication is important there um by Adventure probably doing something that you've never done but you've expressed
01:00:40
Panel (mixed)interest in is probably the key there so for men listening here are the cheat codes is pay attention to what she's hitting at those memes that she sends you on Instagram like that's you should
01:00:52
Panel (mixed)take note of that um and then I'll give an example of one that was really good for me my fiance bought us this package it's called pack up and go and they plan a whole vacation for you and you open up
01:01:04
Panel (mixed)an envelope the morning of and they send you off somewhere and like that was an awesome spontaneous and fun adventure so win-win all right
01:01:16
Brian Atlascool uh yeah I still don't really know what an adventure means but um I see it all the time well at least when I was on the dating apps I would see it all the time time take me on an
01:01:29
Brian Atlasadventure okay uh oh going around uh have you ever had a roster what does that mean like multiple
01:01:38
Brian Atlaspeople dating multiple people no no and by dating I can mean like casual like anywhere from like you're even just talking to them not like
01:01:52
Brian Atlasmultiple boy I don't mean multiple boyfriends when I say like dating multiple people no roster no nothing no roster you don't got no you don't got the M no main ho no
01:02:03
Panel (mixed)side h no I no bench you don't have a bench I mean they're they're there but I don't resp they're on the bench I'm okay no they're they're on the bench they're staying on the bench yes okay so there's
01:02:14
Panel (mixed)no nothing nothing right now I know you want to get out of me but no there's not one guy you have your eye on like sure but like he doesn't he
01:02:26
Panel (mixed)doesn't want I don't have like multiple you're asking you're asking for a roster I don't go okay but is there there's one guy currently in the picture maybe sort of sort of kind of yeah single for one
01:02:37
Brian Atlasyear but kind of like there's a guy sort of sort of kind of could be kind of could be in the works wait did you say you've been celibate was that you who said was it you you said celibate for
01:02:48
Brian Atlasone year okay all right and uh are any of you those of you who go to school here in a frat uh not fraternity sority excuse me any sorority sorority sorority
01:02:59
Brian Atlasanybody I'm in a frat which one like a business frat the business frat medical frat the what a medical frat okay uh but that's not like
01:03:10
Brian Atlastypical Greek life anyways it is oh you still like parties and stuff yeah into the mic oh yeah it
01:03:18
Brian Atlasis okay and uh it's and you but there there's women
01:03:26
Brian Atlasand men in it correct yes okay all right uh roster what about you have you had a roster I have currently though no currently
01:03:37
Brian Atlasthough no how big was the biggest roster ever
01:03:43
Panel (mixed)been probably Five Guys Five Guys at the same time okay cool and uh well not like oh okay well at the not the not the same day maybe not the same day maybe not the
01:03:55
Panel (mixed)same day same day and not same time yeah maybe spread over a couple days couple weeks someone takes you out Monday night someone takes you out Wednesday night maybe someone takes you out Saturday
01:04:05
Panel (mixed)night yeah okay yeah just a little rotation a little rotation and would you but like you would also be hooking up with them too yeah some of them uhhuh
01:04:15
Brian Atlasall of them all five not all of them three no maybe like four two or three two or three okay yeah it depends Good Times all right what about you no come on you've had a
01:04:26
Brian Atlasroster you've had a roster you get too bored you get bored too easily so you're you're saying only one at a time exactly you got to stay loyal what you tell hold on you got to
01:04:38
Brian Atlasstay loyal this girl you're break you breaking up with this dude three times you get back with them uh you're bored rules every three months exactly thank you Sophia if if I recall though like
01:04:49
Brian Atlasduring the breaks that you had with uh your guy in La you said you would see other men during the breaks yes yeah but you'd only you're saying you'd only see
01:04:59
Brian Atlasone guy at a time yes how long would those one guys last during the breaks a week a month a month two months so it'd go like it'd be like this sort of
01:05:10
Brian Atlaslong-term guy who's too sweet on again off again break up date a guy for a month date another guy for month date another guy for the month back with him for three months break up with him another guy for a month another guy for a month another guy for a month break up
01:05:23
Brian Atlaswith him another guy for a month like kind of like that basically basically basically basically okay uh and how would you meet these guys typically dating apps in person your Fraternity in
01:05:34
Brian Atlasperson in person did you go party no where would you meet him anywhere so you would approach them or they would approach
01:05:44
Brian Atlasyou both yeah through friends a lot through friends you'd get introduced okay all right what about you I'm going
01:05:53
Panel (mixed)to say yes had a roster okay but only of two and it really was only when the guy I mentioned of 3 years he wasn't wanting to commit to me at that time so I was
01:06:05
Panel (mixed)just like hanging out with one of his distant friends until he ended things with his girl and then we got together okay what about you I've never had a
01:06:15
Brian Atlasroster no roster okay any roster in my early 20s yeah in the 20s had roster okay how big was the roster uh like no more than two no more than two okay
01:06:26
Panel (mixed)I've never had one all right no roster never roster never roster zero roster okay zero roster what about you um I agree in my early 20s I think I I had a
01:06:37
Panel (mixed)I wouldn't call it a roster um but I would have like someone in a back pocket perhaps but I would never like hook up with someone and then like cross
01:06:47
Panel (mixed)contaminate so any anybody who has like there's just a set um timeline for people and I've never like gone back to that one person so I would end things
01:07:00
Panel (mixed)with that person physically we we wouldn't hook up again I'd move on find a new person but I I would never hook up with that guy again but I would kind of keep them in my back pocket for
01:07:10
Brian Atlasattention perhaps um this is in my early 20s but okay cool uh I'm going to get into some my pre-show notes here so uh maybe we'll
01:07:22
Brian Atlastouch on the roster thing a little bit later on but so going to Macy um are your DMs wild yeah they're they're pretty crazy
01:07:33
Panel (mixed)do you have like a top three messages you can tell us curious well there's like like like what
01:07:43
Brian Atlaskind of DMS are you looking for the weird ones the like nice ones like well I'm wondering like if you just get and I'm curious if it bothers you that people cuz I I've had tall friends and they're like
01:07:56
Brian Atlasthey tell me oh like everybody asks me if I play basketball like it gets annoying do you have do you have that experience like does it bother you that people will make comments about your height or you're just kind of used
01:08:06
Brian Atlasto it and it is what it is closer I'm used to it but like it's still it can get annoying can get annoying okay and I mean like when it comes to your DMs and
01:08:17
Panel (mixed)stuff do you get DMs like that are height related oh yeah all the time some crazy some crazy sexual ones too like why are you saying this to me that makes me a little uncomfortable what what's
01:08:29
Panel (mixed)like if you're if you're at liberty to share what's like the some crazy ones some crazy ones I mean it's not really crazy but like a lot of like really short men are like can I eat it standing
01:08:39
Panel (mixed)up like can you stand up and can I eat it I'm like what the bro huh huh H standing up is
01:08:52
Panel (mixed)crazy is that possible I guess asked my roommate about it and she did it once and she was like it's a little UNC but it's you can do it you've done you've
01:09:02
Brian Atlastried it out I want to try it out okay all right dang what so okay what what other Crazy Ones have you
01:09:12
Panel (mixed)gotten there are like people that are into like the giant test stuff and it's like can you stom on
01:09:20
Panel (mixed)me like I want you to smush me smushing okay step on me like smother me that kind of stuff I get that a lot and it's
01:09:30
Panel (mixed)it's a little weird is is giant a compliment or is it insulting it's a compliment but it's also like a fetish
01:09:41
Brian Atlasso yeah but if like if somebody calls you like a giantess in like a non-sexual way is that insulting or is it like a compliment I'll take it as a compliment okay cuz I can imagine like a really
01:09:53
Brian Atlastall guy if he got called like you're a giant it could be it could be compliment that's what most people say you get Amazon okay um what's like I don't know if you remember this do you have like
01:10:05
Brian Atlasworst pickup lines related to height besides the like eat it standing up thing that's wild by the way that's crazy I mean that's crazy I feel like
01:10:17
Panel (mixed)people never like try to do pickup lines they're just like straight to the point yeah okay hm okay uh the DMS must be crazy though any
01:10:28
Panel (mixed)others that you can think of or just the standing up one I mean those are really the ones I get the most I mean I could look through my DMs but yeah I clear
01:10:40
Brian Atlasthem out regularly so I don't see people like that okay now you said in uh your pre-show notes that you said modern dating isn't even worth it so what I guess what are your
01:10:51
Panel (mixed)thoughts there bad experiences or just uh I've had some really bad experiences um especially through dating
01:11:00
Panel (mixed)uh apps mhm um just like I'll tell people I'm like hey I am like I'm really nervous and like I don't do a lot of
01:11:11
Panel (mixed)physical touch so if we like meet up you just know that it's just going to be like a conversation it's going to happen and then that's
01:11:20
Panel (mixed)where men mostly test my boundaries I've had one guy like we were supposed to go out to eat lunch and then he was
01:11:32
Panel (mixed)like oh I can't do that do you want to just like come over and watch a movie and I was like that's little sus but sure I'll give you the benefit of the
01:11:41
Panel (mixed)doubt you seem like a nice person I was wrong we start the movie and he does the little like reach over arm thing do can
01:11:51
Panel (mixed)you do it demonstrate on her one of those oh God like this m not even like 5 minutes into the movie he's like trying to kiss me and I tell him no I don't
01:12:01
Panel (mixed)want to do that I don't know who you are and when I when I say I don't know who you are he then goes like okay I was born here I went to school here yada yada you know who I am now and I'm like
01:12:13
Panel (mixed)no that's not how it works and so I'm like can we just can we just watch the movie and maybe like talk afterwards maybe another 5 to 10 minutes
01:12:22
Panel (mixed)in the movie he tries it again I tell him hey you're making me uncomfortable he's like well if you're so uncomfortable why don't you leave so I got up and left there you go good good
01:12:34
Brian Atlasjob good for you m good yeah said you leave you left yeah that's uh probably it didn't
01:12:47
Brian Atlasit sounds like he didn't really take a hint though you know he just kind of yeah yeah it's always uncomfortable in those uh situations uh sorry sorry to hear that definitely awkward uh and then
01:13:00
Brian Atlasanyways moving on from that you said that uh and you you also do of um what kind of uh content are you doing on there is it like tasteful stuff or like
01:13:13
Panel (mixed)full-blown you know I kind of do a little bit of everything now okay but I'm trying to like wean off of only fans cuz I want to
01:13:23
Brian Atlasgo to college and actually get a degree sure is your girlfriend involved with the like do you guys no it's just like
01:13:31
Panel (mixed)solo cont okay I have a video with an ex partner and that's that's about as deep as it goes okay got it you also said you
01:13:42
Brian Atlasdo dick ratings on your o on your o you do um is it in like do you do it in inches or
01:13:52
Panel (mixed)centimeters sorry that was a bad joke I mean they just send me a photo of their penis and I look at it and I'm
01:14:03
Panel (mixed)like well I usually rate it on like the color the color the texture Tech texture how big it is howy it is yeah you know
01:14:13
Brian Atlasgot to cover all of that okay but there's a there's and do you try to be pretty reasonable with the ratings though or sometimes oh no I like to be
01:14:23
Brian Atlasreally mean oh oh oh so it's like degradation yeah you okay cuz it's just a lot of dicks and I I'm not really lot
01:14:33
Panel (mixed)of dicks I'm not really into that anymore really so it's like I'm just going to like roast the out of these men and
01:14:43
Panel (mixed)they're going to pay me for it there you go what's the highest dick rating like is it a one out of 10 or is it like a review so I either I'll do like a one out of 10 or I'll just be like why the
01:14:55
Panel (mixed)is your penis so textured like do you have burpees or some damn you know how much do they pay you that's crazy earlier on when I was
01:15:05
Panel (mixed)doing only fans it was like $35 but now I only do it for 15 okay oh good times is there like a discount code going on right now for anybody who
01:15:16
Brian Atlaswants no sorry no okay all right sorry boys sorry guys in the chat if you want to have your PP degraded um
01:15:26
Brian Atlasall right uh going to uh let's go to Kanani kaani kaani Kalani yes uh let's see you said not a lot there it's pretty
01:15:38
Brian Atlascomplicated right now oh wait this guy I was with for nine months tried kissing my new roommates at the time and turned out he had a girlfriend the whole time is that the the Muslim guy no oh somebody else this is like previous
01:15:51
Panel (mixed)three years ago yeah okay was there a story there or um yeah we were together for like 9 months and I didn't know he had a
01:16:01
Panel (mixed)girlfriend and she called me when I was going to the pool and I was like oh spam call so I answered I'm like hello and
01:16:09
Panel (mixed)she's like hey is this K I'm like who's asking she's like oh are how do you know so and so I'm like what do you mean and she was like that's my boyfriend I was
01:16:20
Brian Atlaslike yikes that sucks I'll do I'll do can can I have you just tilt your mic down a little bit perfect so okay and then also in your notes you said you
01:16:32
Brian Atlaswant to talk about Christianity or talk or talk about why women can't just bring a personality to the table and they need to be traditional women if they want a traditional man yeah uh so I what do you
01:16:44
Panel (mixed)mean by that I was a little confused I mean if you want a traditional man you kind of got to be a traditional woman that's fair that's fair okay so your position is they women can't just bring
01:16:56
Brian Atlasa personality I mean they can if they don't want a traditional man right okay you all right and you said I used to have a hard time understanding this until my brother broke down for me and
01:17:07
Brian Atlasit's like this we as women are sticky notes and if you keep sticking a sticky note everywhere the sticky note loses its value and no one wants a sticky if it needs some tape we as women can't
01:17:20
Brian Atlasexpect to be the prize if we have lost our stickiness there's no need for a sticky that doesn't stick when you can't get a fresh new sticky note that does stick there you go Bo it's a good way to put it cool now got that sticking
01:17:33
Brian Atlaseverywhere look is that sticky note that's so that's what you said so you said that so and this is this related to like body count is is that what it's related to I mean I'm not one to shame women who have a high body count but
01:17:45
Brian Atlasyou're not huh you you can if you want to oh oh my gosh I'm not going to if you want to you can do it no I don't feel like doing that but but so the sticky
01:17:55
Brian Atlasnote thing the more bodies you have the less you can stick onto a new partner I mean you're basically having sex with all those people they had sex with and I see you kind of shaking your head and
01:18:07
Panel (mixed)you agree you disagree or so I'm not like a churchgoer anymore but I yeah no it was taught to us the same way where except for us it was like a rose or a piece of chewed gum they were like you
01:18:20
Panel (mixed)take this flower you crumple it up you can't put it back together again it's ruined you're done oh okay yeah but so do you do you agree with that sentiment or disagree I think I agree
01:18:32
Panel (mixed)with the sentiment of if you want a traditional man I don't think you necessarily have to be traditional to get a traditional man but I think it you are definitely more likely to get a
01:18:43
Panel (mixed)traditional man if you are a traditional woman do you think and I think it is a bit yes hypocritical if you're going to say you want a traditional man but not be a traditional woman MH so I'm going to open this up to the whole panel going
01:18:54
Brian Atlasright the table when it comes to the sticky note thing do you agree with this do you disagree when it comes to the more Partners you've had you tend to
01:19:04
Panel (mixed)stick less to the next partner starting with Macy go ahead I mean if you want a traditional husband yes but like with anyone else no I disagree with that well
01:19:17
Panel (mixed)I think for this one we we remove the traditional component to it then I don't agree okay what do you think into the mic um I don't know I don't really have
01:19:29
Panel (mixed)a firm opinion on that like no firm opinion yeah like me personally I guess I'd lean more towards that idea like I wouldn't that's one of the reasons why I don't date like
01:19:41
Panel (mixed)anybody anywhere anytime are you selective with who you I am very selective yeah um but I don't think it's a bad thing if other people
01:19:52
Panel (mixed)disagree what about you um I mean I don't I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing but I think you should be
01:20:03
Panel (mixed)realistic about if that is the path you're going to take who then may or may not be available to you because that was the path that you to chose to take I think that's totally valid for everyone to be
01:20:16
Panel (mixed)like oh yeah like you may have a lot of bodies so I don't really want to be another one of those but I think also if you can't take the time to look past someone's past and then sit down and say
01:20:27
Panel (mixed)okay well why were you the way that you were I think that's also just a bit immature of you and that tells me that you can't look past the past I think everybody should be forgiven again again it goes back to the
01:20:41
Panel (mixed)traditional thing if you want a traditional man a traditional man should be able to forgive you and then change you and lift you up okay well how do you feel Brian because I mean let's say you met a girl
01:20:53
Panel (mixed)who wasn't necessarily traditional but you loved her enough and she was willing enough to then go to church go the traditional path mhm people do that
01:21:02
Panel (mixed)people are technically rebirthed or whatever like Nala R oh oh you know that girl I don't know her but I've seen her on Tik Tok girl with
01:21:15
Panel (mixed)red hair yeah we've had her on the show I know that's the only reason why I know her um n re you think she's I she changed
01:21:25
Panel (mixed)she can be I think it's definitely changed man too I think it so so critical for people to think and believe that people are subject to change that yes someone can have an event in their
01:21:36
Brian Atlaslife turn around and change everything well you can change but men are not obliged to then disregard your no history and baggage and that goes back to what I was saying with yeah if they say that they don't want to date you cuz
01:21:49
Panel (mixed)you have too many bodies and don't want to be another body yeah that's fine you can't really be heard about that cuz that was the path you chose to take yeah
01:21:57
Brian Atlastrue what about you what do you think sticky note thing I agree you agree but to an extent to an extent what what is the extent to which you agree I think it
01:22:09
Sophia (UCSB)goes for both like it goes for both ways right you don't want your man to be a either yeah you don't want your what you don't want your man to be a either oh I'm sorry I can't hear
01:22:19
Brian Atlasone more time a you don't want him to be a a hoe yeah okay so it goes for both ways you would you would not date a hoe
01:22:29
Brian Atlasa man ho never you would not date a man ho Never Never So if a guy revealed to you I have a body count of 20 is that
01:22:38
Sophia (UCSB)too high for you way too high what about 10 way no really way too high
01:22:46
Brian Atlaswhat's your body count zero shut no come on it's a zero it's zero yeah it's zero I'm
01:22:59
Unknownconfused I'm so confused zero you [Music] stoping so
01:23:11
Brian Atlasmysterious okay okay zero zero maybe that's why you get bored you're not exactly that's
01:23:21
Brian Atlaswhy you get bored you ain't you ain't having sex exactly what else is there to do I'm kidding but actually what else
01:23:31
Brian Atlaswhat else are you going to do wait for real though you're vard virgin okay still a flower yes have you I mean have
01:23:42
Brian Atlasyou have you I mean like are you waiting until marriage or what's the story here yes good child of God good story
01:23:56
Brian Atlasstop the C I don't are so you're religious I'm chrisan yes what
01:24:06
Brian Atlasdenomination oh Presbyterian okay and You' been like your parents are religious too very much and you go to church yes is there a church here not here there's not a
01:24:18
Sophia (UCSB)Presbyterian Church here oh no the churches here are kind of culty I've been to some they're culty okay Presbyterian huh so you are waiting for marriage
01:24:29
Sophia (UCSB)no wait what I was just kidding about that no about you're kidding about what waiting for marriage not waiting for marriage are you but are you a virgin
01:24:41
Sophia (UCSB)yes well so what are you kidding about and what's I mean I am I have a body count of zero I'm not waiting till marriage okay so you're waiting for the right
01:24:50
Brian Atlasguy yes um but you've dated multiple men and none of them were the right guy no the guy you dated was he as a Christian the
01:25:03
Brian Atlastwo guys that you had like a year is I have no clue what how would you not know I don't ask about
01:25:12
Brian Atlasreligion is it important is it important for you for your partner to be Christian it is but unless it's like serious I don't want to
01:25:22
Brian Atlasask doesn't matter and it's never been that serious but you want something serious don't
01:25:30
Brian Atlasyou not yet but if okay I'm just confused so you don't want something
01:25:41
Brian Atlasserious but you also you're not engaging in casual sex you do want you don't want to wait until marriage but whoever you do have
01:25:50
Brian Atlassex with you want this to be like the right guy I'm assuming yes could the right guy like could you have sex with the guy on the first date if he's the
01:26:00
Brian Atlasright guy no so you would have to be in like a relationship a legit relationship yes okay but you're avoiding a legit relationship through your conduct yeah
01:26:15
Brian Atlasokay um I mean but like you said you get bored very easily so how I mean this it occurs to me given what you've disclosed so far
01:26:27
Brian Atlasthat this is I'm not saying this to be insulting is probably a defect on you as opposed to the men that you're dating probably and it it's it's not necessarily perhaps an innate defect but
01:26:39
Brian AtlasI mean to be dumping someone because you're bored but then getting back with them because you're bored and then uh it's a bit
01:26:50
Brian Atlasuh it's not conducive to procuring a long-term serious relationship if your primary like what's the primary thing you're looking for
01:27:00
Brian Atlasexcitement I don't know I'm young ones I'm doing what everyone else is doing well no Well you aren't because I mean everybody else is just having casual
01:27:10
Brian Atlassex yeah it well on one hand you are kind of casually dating but you're not having casual sex I suppose that's better than
01:27:21
Panel (mixed)if you were just having casual sex but it's you're you're getting the same experience but without the sex
01:27:31
Panel (mixed)exactly the attention the attention exactly I'm just confused what like I mean what what are the guys looking for I
01:27:43
Panel (mixed)don't know I never asked I never got that serious I feel like you like the attention you just don't like the commitment cuz you're not ready for it yes but here's where I'm confused so
01:27:54
Brian Atlasmost guys who would be inclined to casually date sex is going to be a component of that for most men you disagree I yeah I disagree I I well for
01:28:06
Panel (mixed)me sex isn't like a big thing in a relationship so not well for you or in general for me okay just personally but what about for other what about for other
01:28:19
Panel (mixed)people well like if I'm going to like casually date I would definitely talk about it with the person I'm going to date but like
01:28:29
Panel (mixed)for me I I don't participate in the hook hookup culture I am really weird about having sex so I understand where she's
01:28:40
Brian Atlascoming from you know you don't need to be have a sexual relationship to have a relationship no you don't you don't need it I don't have any really any objections to what she's actually doing
01:28:50
Brian AtlasI'm just kind of confused because if a guy is inclined to to wait because she wants to wait for sex it seems like it would be a mismatch on
01:29:01
Brian Atlasthe guys part to casually date her but there's no there's a total lack of sex that's I mean look there's asexual people there's people with really low
01:29:10
Brian Atlassex drives but is that you are you asexual no what but I mean you guys are friends you chuckle at each other they
01:29:22
Brian Atlasit's me bro it's me oh you're you're the asexual one or low sex driver I just yeah like that's always been the case or yeah okay yeah that that's why I understand where she so like when you
01:29:35
Panel (mixed)say low sex drive what does that mean like the guy I was with for 5 years we never oh wait hold on yeah hold on wait [Music]
01:29:46
Brian Atlaswait you the guy you were dating for 5 years you guys never had caral carnal knowledge we didn't do anything no carnal knowledge are you also virgin
01:29:56
Brian Atlasyeah this is why we're stop the C wait are you also a virgin okay any other virgins any virgins virgins at the table no way there's no way this is
01:30:07
Unknownwhy we're all the trifecta the trifecta of virgins or hold on lei for the hatrick put it in oh my word this is one
01:30:18
Brian Atlasof lebowski's finest performances it's a hat a virgin hat trick okay that's crazy um I don't do you guys believe this do
01:30:27
Unknownyou guys believe this I do I do yeah I do I do okay are you what' she say she said I do are you
01:30:38
Panel (mixed)religious um yeah uh Christian yeah I would say Christian I'm like I'm kind of like I believe in God but I'm not I
01:30:47
Brian Atlasdon't and then you also I'm Christian yes oh so yeah okay it's a little more believable it might be worth noting we got off the street too
01:30:59
Brian Atlaswhat oh my that's true the Mean Streets of Santa Barbara got them off the streets the street they were walking the streets okay um well I'll know how that
01:31:09
Brian Atlaswould it wasn't well no I mean um Okay cool so uh 5 years yeah was like was he trying
01:31:21
Brian Atlasto smash or you guys were just kind of asexual he had like asked me about my opinion on it and I was like yeah know I'm chill he wait he asked you on your
01:31:30
Brian Atlasopinion he sat me down one night my dear what are your thoughts and feelings and opinions on the chances of us having sexual intercourse what happened not tonight
01:31:42
Brian Atlasbut verbatim that's what he said verbatim we had the conversation yes yeah and how did so how did it go how did it go fine I was did he put was there a PowerPoint presentation no these
01:31:54
Brian Atlasare the reasons why we should have sex exhibit a exhibit B Exhibit C no it was a very casual conversation yeah and what did you say you were just like he
01:32:05
Panel (mixed)like he how long did he talk for like he asked the question for like 30 seconds and then were you just like no yeah I was like no I'm chill like
01:32:17
Panel (mixed)you're chill interested yeah okay are you waiting for marriage originally yeah I wanted to wait for marriage you wanted to wait for marriage yeah well you still are yeah I'm still on that path but okay and then you waiting
01:32:29
Brian Atlasfor marriage yes waiting for marriage okay all right there you go all right wholesome group here kind of kind of kind of uh
01:32:39
Brian Atlasanyways okay good to know um that changes a lot of things so um did not know that what were we talking about sticky notes sticky note sticky note
01:32:51
Panel (mixed)your turn okay I think I'm I'm 5050 on it I think it really just depends on the guy it depends on the situation if you are looking again for somebody that has the same values as you then maybe you
01:33:03
Panel (mixed)might want to choose ahead of time not to live that life but you can also find a man that says and believes that your past was your past and to keep it as that and to be loyal and faithful with that singular person moving on and I
01:33:14
Panel (mixed)relate to a lot of like what you had said a while ago in terms of if somebody truly loves you they will forgive you for your past and move on and I know that because in my situation of 3 years
01:33:26
Panel (mixed)he held my past over my head and then when one month of us breaking up he started dating another female that had the very identical past as me but is doing everything that he refused to do
01:33:37
Panel (mixed)with me so he was able to forgive her but not me and that's just a type of person huh yeah what about you what do you mean oh yeah it was your take it was
01:33:50
Panel (mixed)your take the sticky note thing sticky note thing I agree with it I think uh if someone has a past it's their past so I can't really change the past mhm so what
01:34:02
Panel (mixed)about you I mean I think people can change maybe they just haven't found the right one before but I think most of the time they're not going to change and just carry
01:34:13
Panel (mixed)on people can definitely change and I think you just have to have an open conversation with your partner make sure that you agree before committing to something
01:34:24
Panel (mixed)yeah I think it depends on the woman's stance on her past if she's willing to be honest about it or if she's going to try and um what a lot of women try to do is double down and defend their actions
01:34:36
Panel (mixed)and act like they didn't do anything wrong and I find a big problem with that but if you're able to own up and admit that you made a mistake and you have a change of perspective there's something
01:34:48
Brian Atlasto be respected there y I want to kind of reframe the question a little bit so let's say either a guy you were interested in dating and this is assuming I know some
01:35:00
Brian Atlasof you guys are here are virgins but let's assume you had a sexual history he wasn't satisfied with um or you just
01:35:10
Brian Atlasvaguely heard about a guy who he refused to date a girl because strictly because of her sexual past so let's say she had a body count
01:35:20
Brian Atlasof 20 would you object to a guy on that basis alone choosing not to date her to reject her would you object to
01:35:31
Brian Atlasthat I'm a little confused by the question okay yeah so question uh either somebody you can look at it from either somebody you're interested in or you're
01:35:42
Brian Atlasjust hearing about this A girlfriend of yours or you just heard a news story about whatever it is a guy refuses to date a woman turns her down because
01:35:53
Brian Atlasbecause she has a body count of 20 she slept with 20 guys do you object to him refusing to date her on that
01:36:04
Brian Atlasbasis is it
01:36:09
Panel (mixed)wrong I feel like cuz like when for me I don't judge people based on like what
01:36:19
Panel (mixed)they do who they do like I don't care so I feel like it's a little wrong but then again it's a it's personal opinion the guy can do whatever they want he can do it but you think
01:36:33
Brian Atlashe'd be you think he's immature or uh it's not
01:36:43
Panel (mixed)reasonable I think it's a little immature yeah that you you can't see a person past what they do sexually mhm what about you no I don't think it's
01:36:54
Panel (mixed)wrong no objections what about you um I mean if it were someone that I was interested in I guess it really depends like interested in seeing I guess it really depends I wouldn't turn
01:37:07
Panel (mixed)them down just for the fact that they had a lot of people in their past but if they were still like hooking up with me and I was just one of the on their roster and they were sitting here being like Oh yeah I want this with you but
01:37:18
Panel (mixed)then not cutting off those other girls or cutting them off as soon as he said that yeah no I'm good okay what about you no objections no objections I don't think I have any
01:37:31
Panel (mixed)objections I think it just depends on the guy's values and what he wants if he's okay with a female having a body count and that person has changed then there should be no issue with them dating but if that's something he's not
01:37:42
Panel (mixed)interested in then he needs to go find a lady that has not slept with many men no objections no objections yeah I think as long as he's polite about it there is no problem
01:37:52
Brian Atlassaying that mhm no objections also no objections objections all right pretty pretty almost consensus
01:38:03
Brian Atlasthere um let's get into some of the other pre-show notes really quick though guys go to twitch.tv/ whatever drop us a follow and a prime sub if you have one guys it has been an hour since we got a
01:38:15
Brian Atlasprime from Red Calamity thank you man appreciate it thank you everybody else for uh all the Primes and the gifted Subs drop us a follow and a prime sub if
01:38:23
Brian Atlasyou have one twitch.tv whatever drop us oh my he's on fire yo wife 2010 thank you for the prime appreciate it uh it's broke I think it's bugged boys but he fixed it so we're good thank you man
01:38:36
Panel (mixed)appreciate it all right we're going to get into some of the other pre-show notes let me get to we did can I add something to the last topic um so when
01:38:47
Panel (mixed)uh before my marriage before I got with my husband uh I was in a serious relationship with a uh man who was a
01:38:55
Panel (mixed)virgin and at the time my body count was three and he actually told me after we had already been dating for like 3 years that he had a problem with my body count
01:39:06
Panel (mixed)and it changed our entire relationship we ended up breaking up because of it MH so yeah it happens you guys were dating for 10 or sorry three years yeah we were dating
01:39:18
Panel (mixed)for three years and then he finally told me that he had a problem with my body count So Good Times s like he was holding resentment the whole time but he just wasn't being honest with himself about
01:39:30
Panel (mixed)it yeah a lot of people do that they'll enter into a relationship thinking that they're okay with something and it's it's not just body count right it could be someone's really into hiking and then the the woman's like oh yeah I'm into
01:39:42
Panel (mixed)camping and like you know she'll lie about it because they like you up front they want to get you and then over time that resentment builds yeah sorry that happened to you yeah and you said the
01:39:52
Panel (mixed)body count was three yeah okay all right nobody safe out there no one's safe um I have a question for you miss girl oh you
01:40:02
Panel (mixed)said in your like question or answer to the last question how like if people came and were honest and realize that it was a mistake what if it wasn't a mistake that
01:40:13
Panel (mixed)they made what if they don't consider it a mistake their past that's what I said some people try to like they'll double down on it and then they'll defend their
01:40:21
Panel (mixed)past and and if that's the route you want to go then take that route um but I just said someone can either um defend their actions um feel justified in what
01:40:32
Panel (mixed)they did or um feel remorse for what they did repent change their behavior mm but do you think it's okay
01:40:41
Panel (mixed)to not take the repentance path I think that's up to the individual um and what she chooses to do um at the end of the day you're responsible for your actions and you have to answer for what you choose to
01:40:58
Panel (mixed)do did you have another question sorry I like just just got in here I guess we'll go around with the random question what is everyone's biggest red
01:41:09
Panel (mixed)flag in a guy or in a girl I guess if you date girls go first yeah lack of communication mhm I was lit going to say po communication I feel we should have
01:41:21
Panel (mixed)different ones for everyone oh so it's like like Obviously good luck [Laughter] but I'll give you something different um
01:41:34
Panel (mixed)this is one I learned later on in life and that's uh difference in values is huge that actually I learned that from my fiance um that's huge if you can't agree on morals and values you don't
01:41:46
Panel (mixed)have anything um so that's a huge red flag I feel like not very many people understand that until later in life also CU they don't really know what their morals or values are yet so I guess in their like 20s I would say but that's
01:42:00
Panel (mixed)very valid yeah I think um in my early 20s I was kind of loose on like my political views um I wasn't confident in who I was
01:42:10
Panel (mixed)as a person so yeah that that made me just date different people and I was pretty impressionable as well um so I would kind of cater towards what their
01:42:22
Panel (mixed)stance was was but I wasn't being true to myself and it just took maturity and growth to learn what was important to me um and then become secure in that and
01:42:33
Panel (mixed)then demand that of someone else as well I really just think respect respect for me my time my space and the relationship respect for everything is important for me I agree with that
01:42:45
Panel (mixed)mine's consideration like I want you to be considerate of me um like if you're out somewhere and obviously we're dating that you would know not to do something because it would make me feel a certain
01:42:57
Panel (mixed)type of way so to like in a way selflessness yeah is there anything more like
01:43:12
Panel (mixed)physical more physical like like an i physical turn offs okay I know this Probably sounds a little shallow but I wouldn't want to date a guy who's
01:43:23
Panel (mixed)shorter than me oh yeah I just I don't want to look down on him man how tall are you 5'4 so okay that's not hard it's not hard it's not hard but Macy you had
01:43:35
Panel (mixed)quite a reaction there um what are your what are your thoughts there I mean I've never really met anyone like a man taller than me so I've always had to like deal with the fact that they're
01:43:47
Panel (mixed)always going to be shorter than me yeah so that was kind of surprising I'm sorry it's okay okay word I have a question for Maisie how do you handle that like how do you
01:43:59
Panel (mixed)deal with a guy being shorter than you is it something that's ever like bugged you or no no not really um it probably bugs
01:44:08
Panel (mixed)them more than it bugs me I remember last year I dated a guy and we went on a date and we were holding hands and walking and I made a comment I was like you look like my little toddler
01:44:23
Panel (mixed)hurt his feelings and I I meant it as a joke like he took it to heart he's like never say that again please can I ask you a question it's
01:44:34
Panel (mixed)okay if you don't answer yeah do you think that that experience with men has led you to want to date
01:44:43
Panel (mixed)women not really it's it's been more of like the the bad parts of having to date a man that have and what bad
01:44:59
Panel (mixed)parts they're kind of scary I've had some really scary instan in instances
01:45:06
Panel (mixed)with men and I knew ever since high school that I've like liked other genders
01:45:16
Panel (mixed)so but it didn't take me till after high school to kind of like explore that so hm uh I have a question on that though so you're saying
01:45:28
Brian Atlasessentially you've had bad experiences with men because of these bad experiences you sort of have a uh prejudgment now towards all men or a
01:45:38
Brian Atlasbias essentially mhm uh I'll go there um now let's add
01:45:47
Brian Atlasanother identity uh factor to this uh let's say these were all black men um and you had a lot of experiences with poor experiences with black men uh or
01:45:58
Brian Atlasactually let's just say black people uh would it be racist to have a bias against all black people because of your poor experience with experiences with some black
01:46:09
Panel (mixed)people I've actually never had any experiences with black men so but that's not my question I know but no I I wouldn't like I wouldn't not date a whole race
01:46:22
Brian Atlasjust because one person was bad to me you know mhm but couldn't the same apply then to uh
01:46:34
Panel (mixed)gender yeah kind of I feel like yes and no cuz [Music]
01:46:44
Panel (mixed)like that's yeah it's cuz the way she put it was that she had repetitive bad experiences with and I feel like as a collective yes
01:46:56
Panel (mixed)when you have experiences with one group of people it's kind of the responsible thing to just sit back and say okay well I'm just not going to interact with them anymore I mean that doesn't say that you still have like that's not to say that every interaction
01:47:09
Panel (mixed)is bad it's not to say that there won't be a good interaction in the future or that there can't be sure but right now it's just the wiser choice to take yourself out of that situation and I
01:47:19
Panel (mixed)think it's totally valid for someone not to want to date a specific gender just because they've had repetitive bad experiences well even removing the dating component it's kind of the
01:47:31
Brian Atlasgeneral uh the bias exists regardless of whether she wants to date the men or not so my question then would be if you've had multiple bad experiences with somebody who's black for example can you
01:47:41
Brian Atlasthen extend this sort of logical thinking in terms of your bias towards well but that's the thing well cuz Okay I would also never well because that's the thing is like
01:47:54
Panel (mixed)some people don't find certain races attractive and I'm like they would never still be racist or bad towards that person of that race I think as long as you're still respecting everybody on a
01:48:04
Brian Atlaslike good Humane respectable level I'm not saying anybody I think dating bias is totally fine well you don't have to be you're not compelled to date anybody if you have a racial preference I think
01:48:16
Brian Atlasthat's totally fine I think that what I'm more so getting at is this uh I guess this bias against men if applied to a racial group or religious group or
01:48:26
Brian Atlasyou know what ethnic group or whatever it is yeah if you had uh poor experiences with with uh Asian people would it then be justified to have a bias against all Asian
01:48:39
Panel (mixed)people no because you've had poor experiences with a Asian person or some Asian people that's different that's completely different because then you're seeing a whole group of people in that
01:48:48
Panel (mixed)light in a different situ dating in just real life situations are so completely different dating bias is really completely different than just bias
01:49:00
Panel (mixed)bias cuz you can still have someone who's playing out just not attracted well I think if my understanding is correct the justification not fueled by racism not not everything like that has to be fueled by racism you can just say
01:49:12
Brian Atlasyou don't find someone attractive right but it's not clear to me if that's at least the case here with Macy I think Macy you said that you uh don't date men not because there's perhaps a lack of
01:49:24
Brian Atlasromantic or sexual interest but because precisely because you've had poor experiences with them and then there's also a corresponding bias that you have in general is towards men did I say white men I'm sorry I just meant men no
01:49:37
Panel (mixed)I think you just said men I think I said yeah just men like as of currently I probably wouldn't like sorry I wouldn't
01:49:49
Panel (mixed)date men right now because I am low-key very trauma IED but that doesn't mean I wouldn't date them in the future I I it really depends on the personality of the
01:50:02
Panel (mixed)person and yeah but that's all I have to say okay no I'm just um I don't think
01:50:11
Brian Atlasthere's actually anything wrong with uh if you you have your orientation you said you're pansexual if you're more interested in dating women uh I don't think there's anything wrong there I
01:50:22
Brian Atlasguess it's just the more it's more so I'm trying to analyze the actual bi underlying bias here um so that's kind of what I'm getting
01:50:38
Brian Atlasat I I I don't know how to like explain it well I think a lot of women feel the the way you feel and I think actually a very good segue uh
01:50:48
Brian Atlasis you get randomly dropped into a forest you can choose for a random man or a random bear to also be randomly dropped