She Is 6ft10?! She Gets BORED & Dumps Men?! Single BUT Unavailable? 3 VlRGlNS? | Dating Talk #181
Date: 2024-07-24
Duration: 7h 24m
Guests
Identified Speakers
SPEAKER_02Natalie(guest)
SPEAKER_03Panel (mixed)(guest)
SPEAKER_08Brian Atlas(host)
SPEAKER_11Andrew Wilson(guest)
SPEAKER_13Sophia (UCSB)(guest)
Key Moments
00:03:13
IntroGuest panel introductions round
“have the guests introduce themselves please tell us your name age location and occupation”
00:08:39
QuoteSophia Nevada reveals she is Miss Nevada United World, competing for international title Labor Day 2024
“I'm also currently your Miss Nevada United World I will be competing for the international title this Labor Day weekend”
00:19:56
QuoteSophia UCSB reveals she gets bored and dumps men every ~3 months; the "3-month rule"
“I get bored with a person... do you know the 3 month rule you're always excited to see this person and you just want to hang out with them all the time and then like that feeling just slowly fades away”
00:23:02
QuoteSophia (UCSB) wants to see boyfriend only once every 2 weeks - described as wanting extreme independence
“I want a long-distance relationship maybe see each other once every two weeks”
00:40:52
QuoteKaani reveals she is "single but not available" - still loves Muslim ex, waiting to heal
“I am single but not available... I'm single but I'm not interested or looking for anyone... my heart is still for him”
01:16:46
QuoteVirgin hat trick reveal - Sophia UCSB, Victoria, and one other guest all confirmed virgins
“wait are you also a virgin okay any other virgins any virgins virgins at the table no way there's no way”
01:50:58
QuoteBear vs man scenario introduced - asking panel who they would rather be dropped in forest with
“you get randomly dropped into a forest you can choose for a random man or a random bear to also be randomly dropped in a forest with you”
02:01:55
QuoteSophia UCSB claims 60% of men would murder or assault a woman - Brian challenges the figure
“more than 50%... 60%... 60% would do what murder you either murder me or try to like essay you”
03:04:55
QuoteHaley shares story of 3yr situationship with man who withheld all relationship privileges "not until you're my wife"
“anytime someone tells you they won't do certain things for you unless you are their wife run”
03:14:20
QuoteHaley confronts that ex gave new girlfriend everything within 1 month that he withheld from her for 3 years
“literally a month later and did everything post within one month... shared my location with her and I just didn't feel like I needed to unshare it”
Topics Discussed
00:03:13
Guest introductions
Each guest introduces themselves: name, age, location, occupation. Brian follows up with relationship status for each.
00:09:40
Dating app profile review
Panel reviews a submitted dating app (Hinge) profile from a Princeton student. Discusses what "spontaneous adventure" means in dating profiles.
01:01:40
Roster / dating multiple people
Discussion of whether guests have had a "roster" of multiple dating partners simultaneously. Sophia admits to breaking up due to boredom (3-month rule).
01:10:00
Macy - height, world record, dating, OnlyFans
Extended discussion with Macy about her 6'10" height, Guinness World Record for longest female legs, dating challenges, OnlyFans content (dick ratings), Marfan syndrome.
01:21:40
Sticky note / body count and traditional values
Kaani presents sticky note analogy: women lose "stickiness" with high body count if seeking traditional men. Panel debates.
01:33:20
Virgins reveal / virgin hat trick
Sophia (UCSB), Victoria (implied), and a third guest revealed as virgins. Discussion of waiting for right person vs marriage.
01:50:58
Bear vs man in forest
Classic bear/man thought experiment. Panel split: Macy, Sophia (UCSB), Natalie pick bear; others pick man. Discussion of fear of men, random threat probability.
02:00:00
Sexual assault statistics / UCSB study
Sophia (UCSB) cites orientation study claiming 7/10 UCSB women experienced "essay" (broadly defined). Brian challenges definition including catcalling.
03:05:00
Haley - 3yr situationship / withheld commitment
Haley shares story of man who refused to post her/share location/"until you are my wife" for 3 years, then gave new girlfriend everything within 1 month.
03:06:00
Why men move on faster (or do women?)
Discussion of which gender moves on faster post-breakup. Haley argues women move on faster; evolutionary explanation from Brian (men dying in war).
03:15:00
50/50 relationships and who pays
Panel debate on 50/50 relationship dynamics, who pays on first date, and who should ask whom out.
04:26:40
Age gap debate
Discussion on age gaps in relationships. Brian asks whether healthy 20yr/33yr relationship is better than jaded same-age dating.
06:36:40
Andrew Wilson call-in: trans identity debate
Andrew Wilson calls in. Extended debate on transgender identity, ontological sex categories, trans disclosure in dating, gender and patriarchy.
07:01:40
Men not caring about women's careers
Brian argues men do not find women more attractive due to academic/career achievements. Panel debates, Sophia Nevada agrees from personal experience.
07:20:00
Outro / raid
Brian wraps up, does Twitch raid of Aladar (World of Warcraft). Andrew Wilson raid mentioned.
Transcript
Page 1 of 8
00:00:16
Brian Atlaswelcome to the whatever dating Talk podcast where we try to make sense of the modern dating hellscape I'm your host Brian Atlas thanks for tuning in tonight you could been anywhere in the world but you're here with me I appreciate that we're coming to you live
00:00:26
Brian Atlasfrom Santa Barbara California every Sunday and Tuesday at 5:00 p.m. Pacific few quick announcements this podcast is viewer supported heavy YouTube demonetization so please consider
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Brian AtlasTwitch it's a quick free easy way to support the show every single month by the way it's bugged it's been it's been since yesterday since we've had a prime uh so if you guys can like test it out I don't know it's might be bugged Maddie
00:01:47
Brian Atlasoh you can say it louder I think it might pick it up yeah help uh it's bugged boys uh test it out also we are doing twitch exclusive streams the schedule isn't fully set yet but we'll
00:01:57
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00:02:09
Brian Atlasshow DM at whatever on Instagram if you can make it to Santa Barbara follow me on Instagram BD Atlas I never post I'm not going to clog up your feed with food photos check out my
00:02:19
Brian Atlasnonprofit movement big Leia matter BLM for short it's really the pressing issue of our time um you know just 10,000 in
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Brian Atlasthe us alone 10,000 lebia plasties a year shit's crazy son support the cause uh okay if you can't catch the full shows we have a clipse channel link for
00:02:40
Brian Atlasthat's in the description we have a private patreon members only they're they're laughing they they're they're um they're on the board of directors for the nonprofit um they're are number one
00:02:51
Brian Atlaspatrons um discord.gg whatever link is in the description we posted a bunch of uh kickout uh like the the quits the rage or the rage quits whatever fails
00:03:02
Brian Atlaswhatever it's on there we posted like five of them uh let last thing oh disclaimer the views expressed by the guests do not necessarily reflect the views of the whatever Channel with that said without further Ado we're going to
00:03:13
Panel (mixed)have the guests introduce themselves please tell us your name age location and occupation go ahead hi my name is Macy I'm 21 I'm from Texas and I do only
00:03:24
Brian Atlasfans all right and you have do you you have a world record
00:03:32
Brian Atlasworld record it's a Guinness World Record uh for what the female longest legs that's crazy and you how tall are you they are I'm 610 nice nice That's
00:03:42
Brian Atlascool um but where's your standing on torso like where do you fall in the Torso category like are you like second
00:03:53
Brian Atlastallest torso or I have no idea do they is that like a thing is there a torso cuz there's the legs they have the legs right but is there torso ranking there might be I like someone with like just really
00:04:05
Brian Atlasokay anyways that's cool uh all right and um at what age you're 21 now what age did you hit 610 16 16 okay and were you pretty tall
00:04:16
Panel (mixed)like throughout most of your like childhood and younger yeah I was about four to five Ines taller than everyone in my grade so I've always been the tall Bean all right got it and you said you
00:04:28
Brian Atlasdo uh for work you do o f is that correct yes it is correct okay and you are from Texas welcome from Texas and what about you hi my name is Victoria
00:04:37
Nick (producer)I'm 20 years old I go to UCS from La GIS Godfrey donated $69 hello panel on behalf of Josh from whatever Discord he is a Canadian Giga
00:04:50
Nick (producer)Chad and is looking for lady must be Christian not crippled or too old lowc ladies interested please see the Discord all right I'm sure they're gonna hop on
00:05:01
Brian Atlasthe Discord immediately thank you man appreciate it thank you God for appreciate it um sorry so you're 20 you go to UCSB yeah and I'm a bio major
00:05:09
Panel (mixed)where you from originally uh Los Angeles La what part like West sgv yeah West COA West where is that like Valley is or no
00:05:19
Panel (mixed)it's like how do you describe West it's that area okay what do you study at UCSB uh biology bio all right what about you hi uh my name is j I'm 21 years old and
00:05:31
Panel (mixed)I don't go to school here but I work full-time pretty much at a private home daycare mhm and were you in school previously or I was for a
00:05:44
Panel (mixed)little bit I did a semester taking photography classes which was really fun and really interesting and mhm it helped me grow my skill But ultimately I just
00:05:52
Brian Atlasrealized that that wanted to stay a hobby okay and where you from I'm from here Santa Barbara bornn and ra born and raised okay 805 let's go what about you
00:06:04
Sophia (UCSB)hi I'm Sophia I'm 20 years old I'm from LA and I'm here I'm a student here at UCSB all right what are you studying uh bio bio all right you two want to be
00:06:15
Panel (mixed)doctors or yeah medical doctors do you know what kind of specialty you might want to go in yet or um I want to do sports physical therapy sports physical therapy what about you I want to go into cardiovascular surgery okay okay all
00:06:28
Panel (mixed)right surgeon in the making all right what about you I'm Haley I'm 22 years old I am from Michigan I go to Michigan State and I'm an athletic training student at the grad school program okay
00:06:39
Panel (mixed)all right welcome thank you what about you hi I'm kaani and I go to Michigan State University as well and my major is kinesiology age oh 22 are you guys uh
00:06:51
Panel (mixed)seniors I'm in grad school oh grad school just about to graduate okay still undergrad okay all right what about you uh hi I'm
00:07:00
Panel (mixed)I'm 31 years old I'm from Indiana and I work at a casino all right what do you do at the casino uh I'm a Windows and grounds person so I just walk the
00:07:11
Brian Atlasproperty and pick up the trash and wash windows oh nice is it like pretty chill job oh yeah oh yeah walk around and stuff that's cool oh yeah and uh are you going to like ever think about going
00:07:22
Brian Atlasinto like being a dealer or anything oh yeah definitely do you get paid more like the dealers get paid more or and they get tipped too right they get tips they get paid a lot
00:07:32
Panel (mixed)so there what would your game be like uh probably Texas holdom poker okay cool all right what about you there hey I'm Natalie I'm still a senior in high
00:07:42
Panel (mixed)school I'm 18 years old and I live in Germany I'm just here for a vacation all right and you're in high school in Germany yeah right okay and uh what part
00:07:53
Panel (mixed)of Germany from Berlin that's the so you're just here for the well we have summer holidays right now and I'm in like a program where we have school for 2 hours a day to improve our English and
00:08:03
Panel (mixed)then the rest just chill yeah yeah okay and uh do you know what you're going to study once you go to college or yeah I want to go to college um actually I want to do a veterinary medicine I think it's
00:08:16
Nataliecalled in English yeah okay be good that cool cool all right what about you hi I'm Jasmine I'm 19 also from W Covina and I'm a student at UCLA studying astrophysics
00:08:28
Brian Atlasastrophysics okay that's dope okay you do you take math classes and stuff or yeah and physics okay very cool what about you hi
00:08:39
Panel (mixed)I'm Sophia I'm 29 years old I do data analysis for work I'm also a home Baker I own a baking business where I bake wedding cakes custom cookies all types
00:08:49
Panel (mixed)of baked goodies I'm also currently your Miss Nevada United World I will be competing for I will be competing for the
00:09:00
Panel (mixed)international title this Labor Day weekend so that is what's going on with the crown and sash you have the sash what does sash say oh just miss Nevada
00:09:11
Panel (mixed)so cute how do you pronounce is it Nevada Nevada Nevada that is a hill I will die on Nevada Nevada Nevada it's crazy it hurts all right what got a
00:09:23
Brian Atlasbunch of people from everywhere today cool cool um and you s wait hold on so that's this weekend no or wait Labor Day oh Labor Day okay got it cool all right
00:09:33
Brian Atlasso going around the table once more oh wait oh yeah Andrew Wilson he's going to be doing a call in in two hours three hours he will be joining us a little bit later so going around the table once
00:09:45
Brian Atlasmore what is everybody's current relationship status so are you single talking stage situationship Friends with Benefits relationship married poly sex go terum whatever it may be a lot of
00:09:57
Brian Atlasways people get together nowaday is if you're single how long have you been single what's the longest relationship you've ever been in go ahead um I well I
00:10:07
Panel (mixed)am in a relationship and I've been in my relationship with my girlfriend for 2 months now mhm and what was other question longest
00:10:17
Brian Atlasrelationship my longest relationship was only 6 months so six months okay and uh your orientation are you uh by I'm
00:10:27
Brian Atlaspanexual pan okay all right so currently dating your uh girlfriend for two months and uh how did you guys
00:10:36
Panel (mixed)meet we met off of Discord actually during Co were you guys uh like gaming together or just uh well kind of sort of she would kind of just pop in
00:10:49
Panel (mixed)the chat while me and my friends were gaming and then eventually we turned into a friendship and then we all met each other in real life and then after that I was like you know I kind of like you do you like me is it long distance
00:11:01
Brian Atlasor yeah okay cuz you're in Texas met on Discord where to well I guess you don't have to R in any case it's long distance um how often do you guys see each other in person I try to visit her at least
00:11:12
Brian Atlasonce a month okay all right oh we forgot we there's a news article we got to pulled the news article about the from the New York uh post about Macy if you have any
00:11:24
Brian Atlasdoubts as to her credentials it's been verified um I'm 16 and have the world's longest legs here's how I date date and shop for clothes
00:11:33
Brian Atlasokay how I date for clothes wait uh it's a tall wow they did you dirty it's a tall order having these
00:11:42
Brian Atlasgargantuan they did you dirty first sentence they did you dirty okay um Texas woman boasts world's longest legs serious setbacks to being super
00:11:54
Brian Atlasstatue oh wow the alliteration there serious setbacks to being super statuesque say that 10 times fast this this journalist needs an uh what what is
00:12:04
Brian Atlasit the Pulitzer Prize I don't know okay uh stands at the Staggering 6' 10 in legs measure 52 in and then what's the component of dating can we find that in
00:12:14
Brian Atlasthe article or I don't even know did okay scroll down Nick just keep scrolling is there anything in there about dating is that is that Mom's that
00:12:24
Brian Atlasis my mom all right okay and is uh is your dad tall or uh he's 65 65 okay scroll down all right is there where's the
00:12:35
Brian Atlasdating do you know what they wrote in there or I I don't they interv they interviewed you though right yeah they did but like you know
00:12:46
Brian Atlasokay okay cool should we get are you down to stand up so the viewers can see how the height uh sure I don't want to hit your camera uh maybe just you should
00:12:57
Brian Atlasbe fine if you scoot it scoot the thing back and then oh can you stand up for comparison
00:13:06
Unknownsure just give need just a comparison here how T how tall are you I'm 5'4 you're 5'4 so average okay there she is all right go all right thank you
00:13:19
Brian Atlasthank you for that thank you for that all right um and uh I saw on your link tree that you do advocacy for one sec uh uh something
00:13:31
Panel (mixed)called uh Maran syndromean syndrome is that I was I didn't do research is it something that you have or yeah so it's a connective tissue disorder and it mainly affects like my heart so every
00:13:43
Panel (mixed)year I have to go get my heart checked to see if my aorta has dissected and if it dissects you can basically just bleed out internally W so it's it's kind of so
00:13:55
Nick (producer)every year you got to go to the doctor and and is that is there any um do people have Maran does it Buck donated
00:14:05
Nick (producer)$75 hello MSU girls I'm an auto worker from Michigan go green go is Sparta this is
00:14:15
Brian Atlassp all right thank you Bucky appreciate it does it have an impact on height at all or people who have Marfan syndrome or um well yeah so B like if you're
00:14:27
Panel (mixed)taller and you have like longer l and you're more likely to have it but I've also noticed someone dm'd me on Instagram and they're like really short and they also have more fans so I don't
00:14:39
Panel (mixed)really know what you you know I don't I don't know is there any treatments out there or you can go on medication I chose to not go on
00:14:51
Brian Atlasmedication so that's why I don't play any sports anymore or anything gotcha okay um and then what about you
00:15:00
Brian Atlasrelationship status I'm single single how long you been single for like a year like a year okay longest relationship 5 years 5 years oh wow when did that end
00:15:12
Brian Atlaswas that the one that ended a year ago okay um any prospects in this past year no nothing no um nothing like even just short-term
00:15:23
Brian Atlasfling anything like that no side side chicks nothing nothing did uh who broke up with who in I be clean sorry wait so you've been celibate
00:15:35
Brian AtlasI've been CIB you've been celibate for a year hey good for you okay all right uh wait actually though celibate for you yeah okay all right what is it what do they say with uh like long relationships
00:15:47
Brian Atlasit takes you like half the time of the relationship to get over it is that have you found that to be the case or no not really who broke up with who I broke up with why is that just long
00:15:59
Brian Atlasdistance wasn't working long distance wait yeah so you guys met in high school I'm assuming yes and then you dated for a period during college but it was long distance at that point yeah so you guys went to high school together yes and then the distance made it complicated
00:16:13
Brian Atlaswas there infidelity no it was just like it was hard because of the distance okay how did he take
00:16:23
Brian Atlasit it's hard okay it was hard did you guys still talk no okay no all right uh what about you
00:16:34
Panel (mixed)um It's Complicated I don't know really how to quite describe our relationship I guess the best way would be situationship mhm I think in your
00:16:44
Brian Atlaspre-show notes you described it as you're single but you exclusively you're exclusive with one hookup yeah okay so there's a guy in the picture yeah okay
00:16:56
Panel (mixed)just one guy or well excluse um I mean like there are a couple guys that I find really attractive and I've been like kind of looking at my options but yeah I'm kind of just really content with
00:17:08
Panel (mixed)this one guy okay so single but there's one guy how long have you been seeing this one guy not long at
00:17:18
Panel (mixed)all like maybe a couple of weeks a couple what couple we oh weeks okay yeah like maybe a month Max and we don't even see each
00:17:28
Brian Atlasother that all often okay uh let's see so does he live in town yeah okay how often do you see him
00:17:40
Panel (mixed)um I've seen him probably maybe well it depends I don't know it it's weird we'll go out and then we'll see each other at like bars and stuff so I don't know if that really counts but
00:17:51
Panel (mixed)like hanging out wise I guess probably three or four times you both go out to bars and clubs and you'll see them yeah you see him flirting with other women um no not flirting with other women to be
00:18:04
Panel (mixed)honest I don't know that's also one of the things of our like situationship where it's just like no pressure and we're both free to do as we please but at the end of the day we both know that we're going to only be hooking up with
00:18:16
Brian Atlaseach other if we choose to take someone home so you aren't exclusive no we are you're exclusively hooking up but at any given moment another person could come into the picture and you could have sex
00:18:28
Panel (mixed)with with them yeah I I mean I guess I would hope that like we would both respect each other enough to like tell
00:18:39
Panel (mixed)the other one and then just like you know stop seeing the other person MH so you guys are both but we both have this Mutual understanding of like we're not
00:18:51
Brian Atlasgoing to hook up with other people unless there's a determination that's been made that this new person is Superior in some way to one of you in which case the relationship ends
00:19:04
Panel (mixed)instantly and then they'll go sleep with the other person that's true right I mean if some guy who you thought was really he's more welcome to do that and
00:19:15
Brian AtlasI can't do anything about it sure uh but so I'm not going to be butt hurt over it you guys don't have a title there's no title you're not like boyfriend girlfriend n and you said a couple weeks
00:19:25
Brian Atlas3 four weeks yeah okay and uh uh you said there are potentially other guys in the picture but you're not hooking up with them is that correct we said there's a couple guys who I'm not flirting with them I've just like
00:19:36
Panel (mixed)they're guys that I like know of and I'm just like okay you're kind of cute I could I could maybe see something with you but ultimately I have my mind set on this one person cuz would you like this
00:19:48
Panel (mixed)current situation to be more if he's listening yeah yeah yeah yeah I really like him but I like if he wants to find someone else then hey
00:20:01
Panel (mixed)there's nothing I can do about that have you had a conversation I we've had a conversation at least about what I want
00:20:12
Panel (mixed)cuz I met him coming out of like a pretty shite relationship or not relationship honestly I would not qualify it as a relationship cuz we were
00:20:21
Panel (mixed)stuck in the talking phase for way too long how long like 3 or four months and we would hang out a lot and it was
00:20:32
Panel (mixed)just a very interesting experience he's going to sit by the fact that you know I'm the one at fault for everything but um were you no I mean I was definitely
00:20:45
Panel (mixed)at fault for some of the things but I came to realize he didn't like how I like wasn't able to like open up and like lean on him like you know how some people have like good and bad days that's me and I'll have like good and
00:20:57
Panel (mixed)bad days I'll have like a great day and then I'll be like oh yeah like I'll see my plans through with this person but if it's a bad day I'm just like okay yeah I don't really want to see you I don't want to bring my bad attitude to you and
00:21:08
Panel (mixed)I don't want to like bombard you with all of my overwhelmingsilence
00:21:28
Panel (mixed)cuz otherwise you're just I'm going to lean on you and then what you're going to get up and leave I'm not going to lean on when you were dating this guy did you want it to
00:21:38
Panel (mixed)be more serious yeah 100% so did you ever have over conversations about that we definitely did but there was definitely a lot of things that never
00:21:48
Panel (mixed)got talked about um were you guys exclusive we were isn't that a I mean if you're like exclusive with somebody I know you would think that
00:22:01
Panel (mixed)would be like a little isn't that essentially boyfriend girlfriend I don't know um I mean I guess yeah I don't know I don't know uh but so confusing these
00:22:13
Brian Atlasdays MH but I mean like okay you have the conversation what are we what is this and then the guy says
00:22:23
Panel (mixed)what well okay the way I heard it from like one of his friends was that he wanted to make the relationship official for a while but just didn't feel comfortable doing that
00:22:34
Panel (mixed)because I couldn't do the things that a girlfriend needed to do but I was like which is what I don't even fully know how to like get into all
00:22:47
Panel (mixed)of this just the good healthy communication and like there were definitely things that were my fault I wouldn't lean on him I wouldn't do certain things that a good girlfriend would do but to be fair I
00:23:00
Panel (mixed)wasn't his girlfriend and I would tell him that when he would want me to lean on him and I'd be like I'm not gonna lean over you like I'm not gonna tell you every horrible thing that's been going on in my head right now because
00:23:12
Panel (mixed)it's just going to do nothing but overwhelm you and make me feel like you now see me in an ugly Light and then I'm overwhelmed and like I also just felt like he was going to judge me for whatever I had to
00:23:26
Panel (mixed)say but what were the girlfriend things he wanted you to do that you weren't it wasn't anything like it mostly had to just do with like communication and being able to see
00:23:38
Panel (mixed)plans through you get really frustrated whenever I would like make plans and then later cancel because I was like having a horrible
00:23:48
Panel (mixed)moment um so yeah a lot of them are literally just like really like basic level things that I should have been able ble to do with
00:23:59
Panel (mixed)someone that I actually cared for I have no problem showing up for my friends being there for my friends talking with my friends it was like this weird pressure
00:24:10
Panel (mixed)where I just couldn't do it with him he wanted like good healthy communication where I talked to him about anything I was honest with him
00:24:20
Panel (mixed)about anything even if it was like really hard for me even if I thought I don't know desite whatever was
00:24:29
Panel (mixed)going on in my head but I just I don't know I couldn't do it all right and then there's this current
00:24:37
Brian Atlasguy you were saying how uh you want to be boyfriend girlfriend but haven't had the
00:24:46
Panel (mixed)conversation I'd like to yeah um yeah I'd like to be with him but I don't I don't know he seemed like not a relationship type so you want seems
00:24:58
Brian Atlascontent with what we are now I'll put it I'll put it like that it's probably better way just having like a hookup every now and then basically kind of
00:25:08
Panel (mixed)casual yeah and are you okay with that thank you I love that um yeah yeah I'd be okay with that but I definitely
00:25:18
Panel (mixed)do want something more in the future whether that's with him not with him the moment of deciding will come I guess
00:25:29
Brian Atlasall right uh did you say longest relationship I did not um maybe a little under two years all right was that a situationship too or was that actually a boyfriend was not
00:25:42
Brian Atlasthat was actually a boyfriend all right cool cool all right what about you I've been single all my life okay single all your life uh any interaction
00:25:52
Brian Atlaswith the opposite sex at all a lot lot I just can't commit you can't commit you're the non-committal
00:26:02
Brian Atlasone okay and uh what's the longest period of time you've seen somebody a little over a year wait hold on okay was it on again off again or on
00:26:14
Brian Atlasagain off again a lot okay couple questions did you call this person your boyfriend no okay but it was so
00:26:24
Brian Atlassituationship I don't know what to call it uh how old were you last year okay so you're fresh freshman or sophomore year
00:26:33
Brian Atlassophomore in okay College I see okay one year situation situationship how many times was it off and
00:26:43
Brian Atlason three times three times who would end it me all all three times you ended it yes and then who would go back to the other
00:26:55
Brian Atlasasking for it back him you would end it he would come back why would you end it cuz I would get bored why would you come back huh sorry
00:27:07
Panel (mixed)why would you come back sorry huh go ahead oh why did I go back yeah cuz then I got bored again I love her bro so why did you end
00:27:20
Brian Atlasit [Laughter] what okay wait so so when you say you got bored what does that
00:27:32
Sophia (UCSB)mean I get bored with a person so how so like you know I don't know how to explain it it's like do you know the 3mon rule you're always excited to see this person and
00:27:45
Brian Atlasyou just want to hang out with them all the time and then like that feeling just slow saw F away yeah exactly so it's a rule it's like a law of physics yeah exactly you after 3 months the person's
00:27:57
Brian Atlasjust ter terribly dull and boring boring I guess um okay so 3 months uh and he was like he was boring
00:28:07
Brian Atlasor you would get bored I would get bored okay and this like is there any blame on this individual for you getting
00:28:16
Brian Atlasbored like maybe you weren't he's too sweet oh go too nice oh gosh well I okay too too sweet this is why women say there hold on hold on hold on let's
00:28:28
Sophia (UCSB)let's hold on okay so when you say he was too sweet okay uh in what ways was he too sweet it's like you know how you're only young once and you just want to do like crazy things and you just
00:28:41
Sophia (UCSB)like want him to grab you in the face and like Kiss You One day but then like he's always like can I can I and it's like dude it's so boring ask for consent just do it oh well okay but that's the thing is
00:28:54
Panel (mixed)like if you're seeing someone you shouldn't have to continually ask for consent every
00:29:02
Panel (mixed)time wait I mean like I don't I that's just my personal thing like if you're dating someone or seeing someone on the regular I wouldn't constantly be like is it okay if I can kiss you I would just K
00:29:15
Brian Atlasbut hold on let's get a let's get some more specifics here in every instance he wanted to kiss you he asked you for your permission exactly no no way no no no I'm not saying like consent wise that I don't think I can do it
00:29:29
Brian Atlasno it's cuz it's like why are you getting so nervous every single time why are you not comfortable yeah exactly into the mics um
00:29:37
Brian Atlassorry there's a lot to unpack here um okay you were for a year and so when you would go
00:29:47
Brian Atlasoff would you see other people in the off periods of course of course okay and then and then I think if I recall you saying you you were I don't
00:30:00
Brian Atlaswant to put words in your mouth you said something along the lines of you were looking for for fun or excitement or I'm trying to remember precisely what you
00:30:09
Brian Atlassaid mhm fun and excitement okay in your dating life exactly does that include so variety mhm okay uh and prior to this
00:30:21
Brian Atlasguy have you I mean you said you've been single your whole life but at no point you guys called each other boyfriend girlfriend never I'm confused though so You' break up with him because you were bored but you'd also get back together with him
00:30:33
Brian Atlasbecause you were bored I kind of get it almost M exactly but is it because when you guys were not together no other men
00:30:43
Panel (mixed)materialized kind of yeah okay so you'd break up with him because you want a new guy mhm but no new guys came along they did but then we would break it off so then I get bored during you break it off
00:30:55
Panel (mixed)with the the new guys yeah exactly okay I go back to the other guy then Comfort yeah convenience yeah it's a comfort you're used to him uhhuh
00:31:06
Brian Atlasyeah okay um that's it's an interesting one and so uh when's the last time you or you said you've been single well your whole life your whole life but so when's
00:31:18
Brian Atlasthe last time you it's off currently with this guy correct I saw him 4 days ago and but did you off it at four days ago or you you're kind of on yes it's
00:31:29
Brian Atlasoff yeah oh man this guy is a glutton for punishment um all right and has he been now that it's been
00:31:41
Brian Atlasoff for four days has he been trying to win you back over trying to get back with you yes can we you got to show us these text messages I got to see
00:31:51
Unknownthis no uh okay so
00:31:58
Sophia (UCSB)like is it does he does he cry when you break up with him I don't know is he sad well he asked me last time well three four days ago when I saw him he was like
00:32:11
Brian Atlaswhy do you always ghost me I don't remember I blacked out so as in you were from alcohol blacked out from alcohol
00:32:21
Unknownyes yes interesting okay and so um I'm just curious
00:32:32
Brian Atlasuh white guy black guy Asian guy Asian guy okay and
00:32:42
Brian Atlasuh have you seen a new guy since you broke up with him four days ago no no okay um besides him is there any other
00:32:51
Brian Atlasguys you've seen for kind of extended periods of time even if off and on yes what's the longest a year oh there's another year guy was
00:33:02
Brian Atlasthat also off and on yes how many okay I like this girl she's she's funny okay uh and it was uh how many times was
00:33:12
Brian Atlasit off and on four times if you say you're about to say three okay four four times with this guy and may I guess
00:33:23
Brian Atlaswere you bored yes oh you got bored okay yeah he was too busy too busy so he was too busy the other guy too
00:33:35
Brian Atlassweet yes wait this is making me sound so bad no no the honesty is much appreciated and the forthcoming this uh it's good uh
00:33:46
Brian Atlasyou often don't hear this sort of uh forthcoming this with from people uh so too sweet did would this guy like buy
00:33:55
Brian Atlasyou flowers and compliment you all the time and he never bought me flowers would he S no he didn't s pay for dates oh he would okay yeah but too sweet in terms of his demeanor like how he acted
00:34:09
Brian Atlastowards you oh actually he did buy me flowers I lied ah yeah the first guy uhhm yeah he did and then the other guy was too busy because he was he's a CS
00:34:18
Brian Atlasguy so computer science yeah that's pretty serious there of a major okay so um um
00:34:28
Brian Atlashm interesting interesting I have so many questions um are you desirous of something a little more stable
00:34:44
Brian Atlasyes um I'm sorry I'm gathering my thoughts here um your desires of something more stable but it needs to be with a guy who
00:34:53
Brian Atlasis not boring is not so sweet and has enough time time but maybe not too much time so as to become boring I want a longdistance relationship maybe see each other once every two
00:35:08
Brian Atlasweeks what if it's not long distance but you still see each other just once every two weeks so he's local or would you feel too he would want to see me too many times so no he would what how do you know what if it's a guy who has like
00:35:20
Brian Atlasmilk toast interest then no what so the guy has to be very interested but only want to see you once every two weeks
00:35:35
Panel (mixed)exactly any are you is she trolling Chad I can't I I can second she's being very serious I don't know if she's just super honest or trolling no but she her
00:35:46
Brian Atlasdeliver is also funny too you should be a standup comedian there you go just drop out of UCSB and start stand up um I kind of believe her I believe you guys
00:35:57
Brian Atlasare you guys roommates housemates we're best friends a okay cool uh I'll come back to to you a little bit later but uh
00:36:06
Panel (mixed)what about you I am single I've been out I've been single for about four or five months and my longest relationship probably 3 years but in
00:36:18
Panel (mixed)that 3 years we only really dated for maybe like four months total with a couple breaks wait 3 years but together you only for 4 months
00:36:29
Panel (mixed)like putting the label on it okay but you were like hanging out yeah we were we just like he I should say just wouldn't couldn't be with me but we were best friends and I was home to him and
00:36:41
Panel (mixed)blah blah blah blah blah so we were best friends and I was talking to someone he was talking to somebody MH both end of the relationships still were together but he couldn't put a label on it but wanted to
00:36:52
Panel (mixed)do every relationship thing with me eventually he got to the point of putting the label on it but then and about like a month and a half in it ended and then we like tried again cuz
00:37:04
Panel (mixed)we were best friends we couldn't break up and then it ended this past like March April okay and did you say it was off again on again on again off again for the first year it was just because we
00:37:16
Panel (mixed)weren't exclusive we were just pretty much really good friends so both talking to our own people but we knew we had feelings for each other and then the last since January of 2022 we have only
00:37:30
Panel (mixed)been exclusive with each other we just didn't have a label until November of 2023 or October of 2023 okay got it and then what about you hold on Morgan sniff Brian's chair
00:37:43
Nick (producer)donated $69 ladies would you date Brian on one hand he is tall 6'1 blue eyes Rich sometimes funny successful but he has a
00:37:55
Nick (producer)dead bod probably autistic has weird liking for big La outies and a small pee peee okay that it's okay hold that's it's average first off get it right dude
00:38:07
Brian Atlasokay uh okay fine uh we'll go around the table would you date me probably not am I too tall for you you're a man oh there
00:38:18
Panel (mixed)you go wait I thought I thought you're pan though yeah but like I've had so many bad experiences with men that it's like I'm kind of like turned off by them
00:38:28
Brian Atlasokay but if if I were to transition would would I have a shot o maybe o all right it's in the works call up the surgeon okay um
00:38:41
Brian Atlasall right that's interesting we'll touch on that later what about you I'm sorry Brian no is it cuz I'm white no okay just checking just a racism check just
00:38:52
Brian AtlasKidd just kidding just kid no don't clip me just kidding okay that's fine I you won't offend me I won't be offended
00:38:59
Panel (mixed)don't worry uh no probably not all right what about you how old are you 35 no now um I mean your eyes are gorgeous and
00:39:09
Panel (mixed)everything but probably not fair fair I'm sorry but no fair no I'm married congratulations thank you all
00:39:19
Panel (mixed)right Germany No you're pretty old I'm pretty hey it's okay hired it's all right you know if I speak German does that change anything or um if you get
00:39:30
Panel (mixed)younger maybe I feel like my boyfriend's going to look like you when he's older so maybe okay what about you um no it's an age thing all right fair enough and no it's a difference in values a values
00:39:43
Brian Atlasdifference okay we'll get into that later all right thank you for that uh by the way TTS we're bumping the TTS up to uh it's up to 200 now guys so uh it
00:39:53
Brian Atlasshould be shifted TTS is 200 re is 100 displays 10 thank you guys appreciate it let me just make double check make sure that's all set your
00:40:03
Panel (mixed)relationship status I am single but not available what the hell does that mean um I'm single but I'm not interested or looking for anyone I so there's a guy in
00:40:14
Panel (mixed)the picture then he was but my heart is still for him that's why I have to heal huh okay so you're single mhm now if I
00:40:24
Brian Atlasrecall you this isn't new either because you in your pre-show notes when you reached out at least going back to may this is a disclosure you made in May
00:40:34
Brian Atlasthat you're single but not available yes so you were dating somebody yes and although you're not together you because of him you won't date somebody else mhm
00:40:45
Panel (mixed)I still love him and it wouldn't be fair for me or another person um so how long were you guys dating um almost a year and a half and
00:40:56
Panel (mixed)for uh for how long have you been single um a couple months now H when did you guys break up so we broke up in November but we
00:41:07
Panel (mixed)were not a couple months I know but we were still talking it was complicated we still love each other but it's also difference in religion
00:41:17
Brian Atlasso what do you mean I'm Christian and he's Muslim and so and that caused an issue for him or you or both it was um I
00:41:28
Panel (mixed)think both I'm pretty sure both equally strong of an issue for both did you not know he was Muslim when you met
00:41:38
Brian Atlashim no I did and I I I I knew what I was doing he complicated yeah we'll just say that well how it doesn't occur to me that it's complicated at all you knew he
00:41:49
Brian Atlaswas Muslim you're a Christian if that has a if that's a conflict of values how could it possibly be complicated
00:41:58
Brian Atlasbecause it was love is love um so you guys officially broke up in November
00:42:07
Brian Atlasso 9 months ago is yeah okay 9 months ago and then but you continued seeing each other
00:42:19
Panel (mixed)mhm uh when's the last time you've been in communication with him probably about a month and a half ago did you guys still hang out no when's the last time you saw him in
00:42:31
Panel (mixed)person a month and a half ago what was the nature of your hangout um we were just talking and in person it was just like closure honestly it was
00:42:42
Brian Atlasjust closure it was a from the breakup MH 7 months prior I know yeah and for the okay so you officially ended things
00:42:53
Panel (mixed)9 months ago MH your closure conversation persisted for a period of because we s months yeah because we weren't dating but we were it was just complicated in those months
00:43:06
Panel (mixed)were you guys living together no no no no no were your finances mixed up no how was it complicated because we both love each other and we still wanted to be
00:43:17
Panel (mixed)together but he he needs time right now and I just I need to focus on
00:43:25
Brian AtlasGod um okay so single but not available now did you guys continue hooking up no no so official break up in November mhm
00:43:36
Brian AtlasI'm sorry but you guys were hooking up you guys were hooking up prior to that I don't want to talk about that stuff you're on a dating podcast I know but yeah but so you were hooking up mhm but
00:43:48
Brian Atlasthen no hooking up at all not even once mhm not even a cuddle yeah yeah we would kiss and stuff yeah hold on no no wait just to clarify after the breakup would
00:43:58
Panel (mixed)there be kissing yes cuddling yes heavy petting what's that like titty
00:44:06
Brian Atlasgrabbin uh no but you would cuddle and kiss y but you were broken up yes but you had sex
00:44:17
Brian Atlaspreviously yes but and but no sex after the breakup MH but you're still in love mhm
00:44:28
Brian Atlasbut you weren't together but you were still kissing MH and cuddling but not together um was so that you said you had this closure conversation a month month
00:44:39
Brian Atlasand a half ago uh was that a final closure conversation or was that like a preliminary clo closure conversation where there will be a follow-up closure
00:44:49
Brian Atlasconversation um right now it's just we're just done right now we're just it's done like nail in the coffin never going to talk to you again never going to see you
00:45:02
Panel (mixed)again I'll probably see him we go to the same College MSU it's a big college isn't it I know it is but I mean I sometimes see random people yeah you just sometimes
00:45:13
Brian Atlassee them I could be out grocery shopping or something and I might see you know um uh do you think it's made it difficult to move on given
00:45:26
Brian Atlasthat you guys continued to see each other and cuddled and kissed definitely because I didn't want to move on but why continue why continue seeing each other and like most
00:45:37
Brian Atlaspeople when they break up at least I mean if if your intention is this is over because we want yeah because we wanted to get together but we would just sometimes it was a lot of
00:45:48
Brian Atlasarguing we would just argue a lot and so it would just sometimes get toxic and that's why we like we well initially you said you broke up because of a difference vales because he's a Muslim
00:45:59
Brian AtlasChris was arguing due to the Christianity and Islam or for actually sometimes yeah mhm okay mhm well what was the nature of like some of these
00:46:10
Panel (mixed)other arguments and disagreements that had nothing to do with religion um I mean even secular couples AR find things to argue about it I don't know it was getting to the point where we would
00:46:22
Panel (mixed)just argue about honestly everything it was just getting kind of toxic even that's really it post break up mhm
00:46:30
Brian Atlasso you broke up but you'd continue to argue I can't explain it okay I'm trying okay um and so you to expl you said you've
00:46:42
Brian Atlasbeen selib it mhm okay uh at what point will you so you said you're single but not available at what point will you do you think you
00:46:51
Panel (mixed)will be available um when I am fully with I just I just need to really really focus on God and when God lays the man for me I will
00:47:07
Panel (mixed)know what if God tells you that this is the man if um if that is the man then then he's the man but he's not Christian because that would not work no that
00:47:20
Brian Atlaswould not work we we could not get married but what if God told you God wouldn't what if he did but he didn't well he hasn't but what if he did in the future that would be because he would
00:47:30
Panel (mixed)you convert to Islam no no no no no but God spoke to you God would never speak to me and tell me to be a different religion yeah especially if I'm a Christian and I believe that Jesus Christ is my lord and savior he would
00:47:42
Panel (mixed)never tell me Che out that oh now you're just a prophet no I believe Jesus Is God I don't that just wouldn't work for me all right were you religious prior like
00:47:52
Panel (mixed)this religious prior to meeting him um I was pretty lukewarm actually um last year I was very lukewarm M um and that's
00:48:01
Panel (mixed)probably why I was like oh it's fine and then it's really not because I think I actually grew closer um to my faith because I was trying to it sounds so bad
00:48:12
Panel (mixed)but like I was trying to like show him that his was wrong in the beginning yeah which is terrible I know but and then I actually grew closer because devoutly
00:48:22
Panel (mixed)Muslim yeah he's he just he's opening his eye like I've just been praying for him I can see why you guys argued um what about you I'm married uh we've been married for four years and we've been
00:48:34
Brian Atlasdating for about eight sorry married for four married for four dating and I I don't mean because you're argumentative I mean because uh of the
00:48:43
Panel (mixed)difference of of faith and you trying to proze to a Muslim um yeah go ahead um yeah we've been dating for seven years and married for four dating for all
00:48:56
Panel (mixed)right is this he's my longest yes all right how did you guys meet uh we met in high school okay cool what about you well it's pretty hard because if you say you see
00:49:08
Panel (mixed)your boyfriend like every two weeks I see man like three times a year because we met in America so he's he lives in Missouri and I live yeah I live in Germany so that's like
00:49:21
Panel (mixed)$1,500 every time we went to see each other how long have you guys been together for not couple days it's two years actually a and thank you okay two
00:49:32
Panel (mixed)years you guys met here uh yeah in Missouri I was there for an exchange year in high school right yeah that's yeah two years ago almost and we've been
00:49:43
Panel (mixed)starting dating pretty quickly and yeah then I had to leave and we're only seeing each other like a couple times and so you said you've been together though for 2 years mhm yeah
00:49:54
Panel (mixed)okay it's we've met like I think we've known each other for like 4 days until we dated like it was really fast wait hold on so you were in an exchange
00:50:04
Panel (mixed)program you were in Missouri how long were you in Missouri for for 11 months and but you met him like 4 days before you were going to leave or like how long were you I was in Missouri for um yeah
00:50:18
Brian Atlaslike right I met him right in the beginning mhm and like um 4 days after I at him we started dating okay all right I see but you've only after the separation in terms of
00:50:31
Panel (mixed)distance you've only seen them four times yeah okay and he's has he gone to Germany yeah he's been there once and he yeah it's hard because we both have
00:50:41
Panel (mixed)school so we can't just fly whenever we want to is he coming to California to see you or no he's busy right now unfortunately all right and otherwise is the relationship
00:50:52
Panel (mixed)good yeah it's good and um like when we see each other we're obviously like super happy and then maybe that's good because you said like the 3 months rule or you I don't know remember so um so we
00:51:05
Brian Atlasstill then have some distance from each other if we like get annoyed mhm all right and um were the German lad's not doing it for you or yeah I've never had
00:51:16
Panel (mixed)a boyfriend before him actually mhm um I don't know just never the right guy all right um but it's also we have I say we
00:51:26
Panel (mixed)have similar culture but some things is a little different with dating also like when we are at his parents house I sometimes get mad that like I feel like
00:51:37
Panel (mixed)Americans parents are really protective that you don't do certain stuff at least his parents and we have to like keep the door open and everything and I don't
00:51:46
Panel (mixed)really I don't know don't agree with that so why I would I don't know like I'm used to like parents just like asking like yeah should I maybe leave and you want to be alone with your
00:51:58
Panel (mixed)boyfriend in the house and I don't see the reason for not like being allowed to do stuff he lives at home with his parents
00:52:08
Brian AtlasI I assume right yeah he's still 18 um I imagine it's cuz they don't want you having sex yeah but why huh why are you
00:52:18
Panel (mixed)guys what are you guys hooking up we're what do you mean you having sex are you guys having sex how do you say sex in German
00:52:27
Panel (mixed)sex no uh well if his parents weren't yeah but not yeah not as much as You' like because the door has to stay open
00:52:36
Brian Atlasbut if we only have like two weeks that sucks okay yeah I mean they probably uh I don't know they're you guys are both young you know so probably at least at the time you guys been together for two
00:52:48
Brian Atlasyears probably didn't want you guys them while they were in the living room or some you know yeah maybe it's a little different and yeah the parents are just
00:52:59
Panel (mixed)like here's a condom here's some Loop wild is is that how it is in Germany yeah wait what actually I mean they I mean I can we can buy our own condoms
00:53:09
Panel (mixed)but they're like yeah have fun I don't know are you so serious yeah I mean they just teach you about how to use
00:53:16
Brian Atlasprotection or whatever and then it works interesting huh cool all right and um but you said it's otherwise a good
00:53:26
Natalierelationship oh yeah um okay what about you um currently single um longest relationship was probably around a year and a half and oh sorry longest
00:53:39
Natalierelationship probably a year and a half and recent relationship was like 3 months that happened like over a year
00:53:46
Brian Atlasago so you've been single for a year yes and longest 1.5 years uh the one that ended most recently
00:53:57
Panel (mixed)uh in the in these two so the 3month 1.5 year one who ended it um the first the longest relationship
00:54:06
Natalieit was both of us ended it so it's like there was one mutual I ended one he ended one cuz it was three times we ended things and then the second
00:54:16
Panel (mixed)relationship was I ended it yeah okay uh what about you I'm engaged a
00:54:27
Panel (mixed)congs it's also my longest relationship um this October will be 4 years together all right so us the ring that's
00:54:37
Brian Atlasbeautiful congratulations he loves me very much a all right cool well we've got everybody's uh relationship status so uh let's get into some of the
00:54:47
Brian Atlaspre-show notes here so who do we have first uh we don't have Angelina hold on we do also have dating is it from yeah
00:54:59
Brian Atlasprevious show uh we'll do yeah why not okay we had a girl who was going to be on last last episode but wasn't able to make it we were going to review her dating app but
00:55:10
Brian Atlasshe's we forgot to do it last show so we're just going to do it right now dating app review go ahead Nick pull it up okay this is her all right she wants to break the ice by running a race loser
00:55:23
Brian Atlashas to make all the small talk propose to me in public talk like we've known each other for years next uh going on a spontan dating me is like going on a spontaneous