00:00:07Brian Atlaswelcome to the whatever dating Talk podcast where we try to make sense of the modern dating hellscape I'm your host Brian Atlas thanks for tuning in tonight you could been anywhere in the world but you're here with me I appreciate that we're coming to you live
00:00:18Brian Atlasfrom Santa Barbara California every Sunday and Tuesday at 5:00 p.m. Pacific few quick announcements this podcast is VI supported heavy YouTube demonetization so please consider
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00:02:54Brian AtlasBTS of the girl who beat up Nick on there if you want to check it out um also uh let's see what what are the little quick announcements oh we we got Andrew Wilson who will be calling in a
00:03:07Brian Atlaslittle bit later he was supposed to be with us from the get-go but uh something came up so just stay tuned for Andrew he will be calling in a little bit later on also I don't know if you guys see this thing right there right this thing I
00:03:20Brian Atlasdon't know if any of you are '90s Nostalgia people but Nickelodeon gut it's very popular popular show on Nickelodeon back in the 90s I'm trying to buy a like one of the legit real ones
00:03:32Brian Atlasthe the rewards award or whatever that was given to uh somebody so if you know someone you have it I'll buy it off you for a uh reasonable price anyways disclaimer the views expressed by the
00:03:44Brian Atlasguests do not necessarily reflect the views of the whatever Channel with that said and without further Ado we're going to have the guests introduce themselves so please tell us your name age location and
00:03:56Bobby Lavenderoccupation go ahead hello my name is Bobby lavender I'm 30 years old just turned 30 okay all right I live in Louisiana I'd rather not say what part particularly um I am wait what was the
00:04:09Bobby Lavenderquestions again name age location and occupation oh that part um I have been oh sorry I've been on only fans for like four
00:04:20Bobby Lavenderyears now basically since the pandemic and I also that's full-time and I part-time cam model on my free cams and you're 30 right how long have you
00:04:32Bobby Lavenderbeen involved uh with the uh adult content stuff since I moved out at 19 okay so for most of your working life then yeah I've not well my first ever
00:04:43Bobby Lavenderjob before I was even 18 I was a janitor oh okay and I sold crawfish too it's Louisiana you know like a janitor for a school or an office okay an office like
00:04:54Taviait was actually a pest control office okay business what about you hi I am Tavia I'm 22 and I'm from
00:05:05AlyssaPennsylvania and I'm a freelance model and I do only fans all right welcome what about you hi my name is Alyssa I'm 27 and I'm an uh a realtor in Austin and
00:05:16SkyI have a bunch of like side hustles too like grocery delivery nannying stuff like that all right what about you uh my name is Sky I'm from San Diego California and I'm an environmental
00:05:27Skyhealth specialist so I'm 24 all right environmental health specialist what's that um so I am like a health inspector but I don't do food
00:05:39Brian Atlasinspections I do like chemical inspections so okay so what like uh typical day on the job are you just going to different locations doing inspections making sure there's not like
00:05:52Skyany uh sulfuric acid yeah that they're not going to blow up uh on a g any given day so yeah all
00:06:00Julietright job what about you I'm Juliet I am from Denver Colorado I'm 38 and I work in marketing all right welcome I'm Karen
00:06:12KarenI'm 45 years old I live in West Hollywood and I am a writer comedian and podcaster okay Maddie you can
00:06:24Madisonintroduce I'm 19 years old I'm from San Diego I now live in Santa Barbara I work for the whatever podcast and I'm a student at Santa Barba City College all
00:06:34Brian Atlasright welcome everybody uh so guys sorry we were a little late there we had uh two uh we had some people flake and then we had a
00:06:43Brian Atlasnoow uh just I could get into the details of the bullshittery that you got to deal with behind the scenes but anyways uh so we're down down about two seats but it's all good we have a very
00:06:55Brian Atlasfantastic panel regardless so going around the table once more what everybody's current relationship status so are you single talking stage situationship Friends with Benefits
00:07:05Brian Atlasrelationship married poly sex C terum whatever it may be if you're single how long have you been single and what's the longest relationship you've ever been in
00:07:13Bobby Lavenderstarting with you I'm in a relation I'm in a monogamous is relationship now for 3 years
00:07:22Bobby Lavenderand um was I'm so ad Rel the long well this is my long longest relationship long okay this is your longest and you said
00:07:33Bobby Lavenderit's open is what does that mean well since I like create content sometimes I collab and I'm also pretty open like in the right
00:07:44Bobby Lavendercircumstances with the right boundaries sorry with the right circumstances and with the right boundaries and like communication like I'm also okay with my
00:07:53Brian Atlasman seeing other people or us having like three swims in okay so you you're saying like when you shoot content you'll shoot content with other men I've only done with other men
00:08:06Bobby Lavenderfour times and it was for a only four times only four times it was for a company like a mainstream company and that's the first time I ever tried that and I I will not be doing it again it
00:08:18Brian Atlaswasn't like necessarily a bad experience it's just not for me and then outside of work are you uh like are you sleeping with other men
00:08:28Bobby Lavenderoutside of work oh no I don't want to but your boyfriend he's sleeping with other women no he isn't I mean one time um my friend and it was cool but um it's
00:08:42Nick (production)not like a regular you going leave that up forever Nick or what I'm hearing some static some static yeah in the audio uh I know one person it's not
00:08:52Brian Atlasterrible okay hold on pull up the chat please pull up the chat uh guys are did you guys hear any uh like audio issues or anything you
00:09:04Brian Atlasguys hearing any audio issues let see if I
00:09:10Madisoncould the comments are hilarious Nick did you turn off three comments are wild
00:09:23Brian Atlasuh okay people are saying sounds good now I'll keep an ey hold on the chat is saying that there's
00:09:37Brian Atlasstatic um one sec guys we're just going to troubleshoot this audio thing
00:09:47Brian Atlasso uh can my mods just message me and tell me if you guys are hearing static it stopped maybe it was from [ __ ] this thing [ __ ] I got I got a goddamn
00:09:59Brian Atlasthe culprit is that like a Tesla thing wait you want to test it it's what are this it's called a Tesla coil or it's a uh plasma yeah I think it's plasma I think the plasma was like here let me
00:10:12Brian Atlasmove that [ __ ] away from my mic okay it should be better pull up the chat let me just double yeah I just listened to it wait hold on let's do a little test let me put the [ __ ] right
00:10:22Brian Atlasnext to the [ __ ] did you guys hear that oh wait I know if that's I don't is it worse now okay I don't know I
00:10:32Brian Atlasdon't he whatever anyways uh I forgot where we were I was talking to you about um um yeah if you are open like seeing other guys I'm not seeing any other guys
00:10:43Bobby LavenderI'm more interested in my like my relationship with my man I don't want to see other guys but I am bisexual so I like seeing other women my preference for collabs is other women like I said
00:10:55Bobby Lavenderwhen I'm like orchestrating it myself it's always other women or trans women and then the only time I did with men was for a main okay and is he seeing
00:11:06Bobby Lavenderhe's not seeing anyone like I said we're monogamish there's certain circumstances and you three we actually haven't had that yet Oh I thought you mentioned something
00:11:17Bobby Lavenderabout three sums I would be cool with it yeah did anybody else hear that yeah I said like I well no I think I mentioned it earlier but I would be cool with it you plan on doing it you haven't had we
00:11:30Bobby Lavenderactually live like kind of in the middle of nowhere Louisiana so we have to travel to like make work like to for me okay what about
00:11:41Taviayou um I'm talking to someone right now talking stage my longest relationship was a year um what what am I missing how long have you uh how's how long's the
00:11:52Brian Atlastalking stage been going on uh almost 3 months now three months okay and before that were you uh did you
00:12:01Taviaconsider yourself single or before that yeah I've been single for since November so a few months now okay so
00:12:11TTS/Donationstalk Sal Brian Saar donated $69 as always Maddie is a 10 welcome back helmet girl Brian I'm happy you're
00:12:22TTS/Donationsusing the old intro where you introduce yourself it flows nicely and much more elegant hello I don't know if I ever stopped doing yeah you did stop I noticed what do you mean I stopped like
00:12:34Brian Atlaslately you weren't saying I forget no I changed I so I changed it a little bit but but it wasn't the same I'm pretty sure well uh
00:12:44Brian Atlasin any case thank you man appreciate the uh TTS thank you dude uh Salo so you were saying you've been single for since November November okay uh talking stage
00:12:55Brian Atlasthree months how how did you guys meet uh we met in Miami into the mic kindly you guys met in Miami mhm uh so in person it wasn't like
00:13:05Brian Atlasfrom a dating app or anything like that in person okay and so and remind me you live also in Miami or I'm Pennsylvania oh Pennsylvania so this is a
00:13:16Tavialongdistance talking stage mhm so how often do you see him H it really depends on like what my work schedule looks like but I try to
00:13:26Taviasee him at least once a month Maybe come to La for like a week or two when's the last time you saw him uh about a month ago okay one month ago and do you want this to be more than
00:13:39Brian Atlasa talking stage have you guys had like a convo about title or anything yeah we're just getting to know each other and taking wait so yeah you have had a conversation about title
00:13:51Brian Atlasum yeah but we're just getting to know each other and like we're just in that stage right now like going on dates seeing who initiated that conversation
00:14:01Brian Atlasabout what is this title him or you uh neither I think it's just been like Mutual like just talking getting to know each other and but you said there
00:14:11Brian Atlaswas a conversation about what is this are we boyfriend girlfriends I guess it was me it was you and then you said we're just
00:14:22Taviaseeing where things are going well I was saying I was interested but I just want more time to kind of you do or he does me I do so then why did you ask for a
00:14:32Taviatitle I didn't ask for a title but I was talking the potential of it and that I'm interested in going forward what did he say when you brought that up he was interested as
00:14:45Taviawell he was interest in being boyfriend and girlfriend each other Contin to see each other and seeing where it goes so so you said I want did you say anything
00:14:56Tavialike I want something more serious um no oh okay so how specifically did you phrase this conversation well it's
00:15:08Taviakind of complicated cuz I was like okay I really like you and was impulsive and I was like I think we should date and then I went home and I was like oh that was impulsive and I want I I need more
00:15:18Taviatime to like get to know you so let's actually go backwards backwards spend more time yeah so young
00:15:30Brian Atlasokay meets The Rush titles you're so young come on right so I mean kind of sounds like you want a little bit more than he
00:15:40Taviadoes would you is that fair to say I don't know I think it's definitely equal it's definitely equal an equ it's more of me like me being hesitant like
00:15:51Alyssanot being completely sure yet if I want that yet so okay what about you um so technically I'm legally separated but I consider myself single so you're legally
00:16:03Alyssamarried then yes okay well but no actually I'm legally separated uh like I moved from the house so like when I filed taxes and stuff it's but you you're not divorced no but soon you're
00:16:15Brian Atlasyou're in the process of getting a divorce but you're still not yet divorced right uh so and is this a pretty recent
00:16:23Alyssaoccurrence okay so um sort of I mean I officially filed in February um I wanted out of my marriage the last several years and made it very obvious but Texas will not finalize divorces
00:16:36Alyssawhen you're pregnant and I was pregnant for 2 years in a row so then I had to like recover and everything I in December is when I was like okay I'm getting out of here one way or another and I didn't get the money to do so
00:16:48Alyssauntil February and then I moved out in March but he's just like dodged being served and which is crazy cuz he's like he's seeing somebody and I've talked to people since and stuff
00:16:59Brian Atlasum so I don't know why his girlfriend is not like sign the papers but H yeah and wait so how long uh when did you meet them at what age did you meet them I was
00:17:09Brian Atlas22 and you're 27 currently correct yes so you were uh how long are you married for or you years 3 years so you were
00:17:19Brian Atlasdating for like 2 years got married and how old are your kids one and two one and two okay and
00:17:29Alyssawhy uh you you're you initiated the divorce or yes okay why um so I have to be a little bit careful just because we do have children and I
00:17:41Alyssadon't want to ever like negatively impact their view of their dad should he ever decide to have a relationship with them um but you know he um I know everybody thinks they know a
00:17:54Alyssanarcissist any [ __ ] is not a narcissist they have a very specific Playbook and and I'm I I believe and my therapist believes though she can't like
00:18:05Alyssaofficially diagnose someone who's not her client that he has NPD so all of the things associated with that were were issues okay but I just don't want my kids to ever watch this maybe one day and then be like you know cuz if they
00:18:18Brian Atlascan have a good relationship with him I would like to protect them from all that um in terms of the custody of the children do you guys share or are they just with you or when I filed for divorce he stopped having anything to do
00:18:31TTS/Donationswith them 6,969 blah blah blah 69 donated $69 my sprink club be
00:18:42TTS/Donationsliked oh it's a different one there you go look at that she's doing the look at that that's when I motoro dty gold teers it be like
00:18:52TTS/Donationsa wow it's good that thank you man appreciate oh we got another one coming in big disrespect to donated $69 disr never argue with stupid people they will
00:19:04TTS/Donationsdrag you down to their level and then beat you with experience that's true Andrew shave your arms Madison wink into the camera Bobby show us your armpit
00:19:15Brian Atlashere who the hell is yeah you can't you can okay I just had to oh oh okay there you go um George C donated
00:19:25TTS/Donations$100 I think one person identified as by bisexual to the panel would you consider being with a man who is bisexual if not why not yeah we'll go around on this
00:19:36Taviareally quick uh would you be with a man who's bisexual yes and I have uh I'm bisexual and no uh so if no
00:19:45Taviawhy not uh no because I don't know I just feel like if someone's sticking their dick in someone's butt and then come and have sex with me then it it'll
00:19:57Brian Atlasprobably cause problems now what's though being on the receiving end or being what is it the top or bottom yeah the pitcher and the catcher so but you're what's interesting
00:20:08TTS/Donationsit's actually interesting here you're you're by yourself right mhm a little bit of a double standard don't you think maybe but I don't do anal LOL paladins donated
00:20:20TTS/Donations$69 oh wow you let him hit it raw you didn't have second thoughts now you a single mom now you a single mom song unrelated to guests of course it's a song okay thank you let my husband Hit
00:20:31Brian AtlasIt Roll that's true that's very true she the husband yeah the H the husband husband that I've been with for two years before we had kids okay uh thank
00:20:40Brian Atlasyou L paladins wait so what if he was he was not putting his p in the a but he was getting D in the b in the
00:20:51Brian Atlasbusy the butt that's the same thing cuz you're you said I wouldn't do it because I don't want a guy who's putting his p
00:21:01Brian Atlasin the a but what if he's getting D in the B does that change anything
00:21:12Brian Atlasum uh I don't know I don't know no comment no comment so no to both then if the guy's buy just no no bu but you're bu no bu I guess it's different but uh
00:21:24Alyssait's interesting what about you no I would not be with a bisexual man yes I have been for okay uh oh why why not for you I want a man who wants everything
00:21:33Alyssathat I am um and yeah it's just no I want a man who's a masculine man and attracted to women what if he's a masculine man and
00:21:44TTS/Donationsattracted to women but on the weekends he beaten cheeks donated $69 ladies I'm in my soft guy ER forever
00:21:53TTS/Donationsdriz whoever makes 500k a year own a home have a car pays for the first date and will pay my bills along with my seasonal suits holler at me drizzle drizzle drizzle drizzle I'll do that for
00:22:06Alyssayou literally made 500k a year if you can't lay it down it's a no do you have a romantic interest in beaden cheeks oh I have no idea but I'm just saying like if he makes five I heard some Whispering no we don't care how much you make
00:22:18Brian Atlasbecause my husband made 500k and I still divorced him still div still divorced saying he wanted that from the woman and them to pay oh he wants it said you have to
00:22:29SkyI didn't know that uh right okay he's he's in a soft guy you want to be a stay-at home Dad well come over and you know sit on my lap would you be with the by guy I have
00:22:42Karenno judgment about it but I personally would not I have in the past I didn't know they were until much later but it didn't bother me okay it's all the same to me no absolutely not no okay all
00:22:54Brian Atlasright there you go there you go uh we were talking a little bit about your marriage SL divorce now I'll actually just pull up my notes here really quick actually you know what we'll come back
00:23:05Brian Atlasto it but your position is that your soon to be ex-husband he is was a narcissist is that correct okay um and
00:23:17Alyssauh have you so how long have you guys been separated um so he left the house in February which is when I filed and the
00:23:28Alyssalast time we had any contact was maybe early March like he was still trying to get me back January February and like into March a little bit um but you moved out in February no I moved out in March
00:23:40AlyssaI filed for divorce in February filed for but how long were you checked out for the whole marriage two years I tried to fall for divorce during my first pregnancy oh wow okay and so have in
00:23:52Alyssaterms of dating though have you been uh dating at all yeah I was seeing one guy for a little bit and um he's just too young I saw your Instagram story last night it didn't work out um but I'm not like talking to anybody
00:24:05Brian Atlasreally right now okay we're just going to ignore that um like wait what did I put on there I don't even I know you were I guess you guys got into Santa Barbara early and you're like oh there's a lot of tall attractive oh my God there
00:24:15Brian Atlasis here in S Bar tall guys with glasses O Okay uh you guys get lucky last night no I don't have like casual hookups okay uh
00:24:25Alyssaso have you had like any uh like a short-term thing with any guys yeah yeah yeah after my husband I started dating a comedian dude yeah yeah
00:24:36Alyssaand he was a year younger no not a rebound a rebound was there a rebound no no rebound okay no no it's just someone that I met through a mutual friend and I was like oh I really like you but now
00:24:47Alyssadoes your husband does he pay child support he has no well okay so he's not going to be legally ordered to until we go to court okay so that's in the works it's in the works but he has not for okay the first month when I was still at
00:24:59TTS/Donationsthe house and he still thought maybe I would stay and like change my mind he was sending them like me like $100 a week Sal Brian SAA donated $69 I would ask MD's K off of Frankie's
00:25:11Nick (production)D just to know how she tastes why did you no it's already read out uh too late I missed it all right salute so
00:25:22Alyssabad y'all crazy bro y'all crazy okay um we're used to it yeah so he was sending like $100 for how
00:25:31Alyssamuch how much does he make a year $500,000 did you guys have a prup no no prup no but I mean like honestly in Texas the men are pretty protected or whoever makes the most money or owned a
00:25:44Brian Atlashome first like there's Protections in place there anyway were you making any money while you guys were together yes okay in real estate yeah you also did you do dancing too were you a dancer not
00:25:56Alyssawhile I was married I was a Dan in my young adult life but not ever at any point when I was with my husband not with him okay uh and so no prup you guys are getting divorced
00:26:09Alyssais he I don't know if how this works in Texas but does he have to do you have a lawyer I do does he have to pay for the your lawyer um we're going to request it you're going to request and he's going to have to pay back child support from
00:26:21Alyssathe time that I left since he hasn't sent any except the first month he hasn't sent the money talk to are there child support Min uh maximums in Texas
00:26:32Brian Atlasyeah the maximum would be 2300 for two kids and I'm assuming given that he makes $500,000 he's probably obligated to pay the maximum is
00:26:41Brian Atlasthat correct yes okay it's good that they have a maximum though I suppose uh so uh okay so you've been kind of dating a little bit here and there you're in the process
00:26:53Brian Atlasof getting divorced and we'll get into some of the details of the relationship a little bit later on what about you I am single I've always been single um
00:27:03Skyalways been single always been single but uh I had like an e relationship for like 3 days
00:27:12Brian Atlas[Laughter] huh to those who know they know okay wait what is an an e relationship so you never met in person no we never met in person we were talking on Discord for
00:27:24Brian Atlaslike 3 years do you know what he looks like or was it just like an anime no I know exactly what he looks like it wasn't AI generator you guys were like dating for 3 years for 3 Days oh 3 days
00:27:36Skyyeah we had been talking for 3 years friends damn that's a lot hold on I don't know man that sounds like a lot of work it was a lot of work
00:27:47Skyand I had to put in like he was he was broke bro you you send him money no I didn't send him money oh okay but he was
00:27:57Skyso why did it only last for 3 Days um the reason why was because I had been acting a little bit crazy because I
00:28:05Skyhad gone on shrooms and I took like way too many shrooms uh what went to a psych
00:28:13SkyW uh w w um then I was having like I don't know
00:28:23Skyhow to describe it but I was having really bad like uh expression of myself like I was saying things that of turn and I think
00:28:35Brian Atlasit became too much for him and so he wait did you get 5150 what the what's that uh it's a 3 5150 is
00:28:46Skyinvoluntary uh psychiatric hold yeah I like blew the doors off the ambulance damn with with a firearm with my hands
00:28:55Skylike wait what no like I blew the doors open and okay so wa were you just on shrooms yeah I was just on shrooms but don't do drugs kids don't do drugs uh
00:29:07Skyyou know it's not the um you had that special Edge strength no but I took like so this comedian had given me a bunch of shrooms and I just took them all at once
00:29:19TTS/Donationscuz I thought you know the universe was pointing Point po pointing donated $69 y thank you I make 450k yearly but you
00:29:31TTS/Donationshave to pay me to lay it down if you want to DM me you need to send $1,000 via K first I'm not trying to be with the BR show me a bank stat not trying to
00:29:42Brian Atlasbe with the drizzle drizzle drizzle drizzle dude what's that bean cheeks I'm sure you'd love that Chris Brown song it's like [ __ ] what how's it go you know
00:29:52Brian Atlasuh these hoes ain't loyal how's it go uh you just said it what what no but what's the uh the lyric it's like wait something about broke [ __ ]
00:30:04Brian Atlasanybody know the lyrics broke [ __ ] rich but I don't date [ __ ] with broke [ __ ] there we go Madison she knows the lyrics she's a Chris Brown fan um all right so
00:30:15Brian Atlasthank you be and cheeks appreciate it so okay let's okay you did some shrooms cool yeah get it freaked out psychiatric hold
00:30:26Skycommitted to a psych Hospital uh do you take any um any medication for like oh that I guess yeah I'm on mood
00:30:35Skystabilizers now and anti-anxiety stuff so well I've like any psychotropic anti-depressants not uh not psychotropic okay okay I think that would just
00:30:47Brian Atlasexacerbate any have you been diagnosed with anything like uh bipolar no nothing like that okay so in terms of your relationship though you said you've been single your entire life
00:30:58Brian Atlasyeah and you're 24 so what's I guess the longest period of time like have you ever dated somebody in person um not really have you been on a date yeah I've
00:31:08Skybeen on dates what have you been on multiple dates with the same person um yeah I would say uh I've been on like five dates with one person but it was a rebound situation I was the rebound and
00:31:20Brian Atlashe wasn't looking for a relationship okay so what's the longest period of time you've seen a guy was it that guy five date guy yeah it was the five date guy
00:31:33Brian Atlasand that was like what the month it was like three months but he still talks to me he he tries to he tries still to smash yeah still tries to smash okay still tries to smash so single your whole life your
00:31:46Brian Atlaslongest thing was three months um and so have you done like more casual type stuff like casual hookups yeah okay for the most part not a lot but and are
00:31:58Brian Atlasdesires of something more serious something long term yes I'm waiting until marriage for what to have sex yeah for sex are you a
00:32:07Skyvirgin no don't you think that ship has sailed you can decide it anytime you can decide anytime I can re like because
00:32:17Skyokay I feel like anytime a girl starts having sex it's like I don't know it's just an
00:32:26TTS/Donationsexperience X forx Blaze donated $69 ladies you're out in open sea on a raft would you rather have a man with
00:32:35TTS/Donationsyou or a great white shark circling you uh okay starting with you go ahead Bobby open SE on the raft obviously I would like to be with a man or a great
00:32:47Skywhite shark random man it's a random man um yeah man man's great a man obviously
00:32:59Brian Atlasa random man it's not so obvious I would take a random man yeah definitely a dude man okay uh so going back to this um so you're you're waiting until are you
00:33:10Brian Atlasreligious a little I've been reading the Bible a lot more recently do you do you have a denomination uh Christian no I mean like are you Protestant Orthodox
00:33:22KarenCatholic okay I have I have a question if that's okay go ahead so you're not a virgin no I'm not a virgin but now you want to wait until marriage um yeah for
00:33:33Karenthe most part okay you do realize that doing that you're setting yourself up for failure right cuz you don't know what you're getting into you don't know if you have any sexual chemistry you're
00:33:43Skygoing to get with this dude and find out that he's not tooting your hone well so the I believe that you can like teach people and you're in favor of teaching people you said it outside teach the
00:33:54Skyyoung ones that's true same concept so I yeah definitely if someone my main concern now is a relationship and not like I was willing and I am willing now
00:34:05Skyas I've gotten older to like put sex on the back burner and I don't think a lot of women are willing to do that um you don't think sex is an important component in relation I definitely do
00:34:16Karenbut so question if the guy has a schmeckle and it's not able to get you know get you off then what I mean I've been masturbating my whole life so right so that means you're going to be with a dude you're going to marry a guy spend
00:34:28Skythe rest of your life with him masturbating no well relationship is truly based on love then I mean and sex is wait okay wait I don't know yet if
00:34:39TTS/Donationswaiting until marriage includes all sexual acts banana lover123 donated $69 panels have been awful lately and this looks like another horrible one
00:34:51TTS/Donationswhere is Andrew he's the only thing making this show interesting lately sounds like somebody stop Andrew's going to be doing a call
00:35:01Karenin a little bit later on uh he will be calling in but if uh it's popping right now we're just getting warmed up relax take a chill if I mean you're welcome to UNS
00:35:14Brian Atlashonestly you're welcome to unsubscribe from the channel like I don't give a [ __ ] okay um we had some flakes it is what it is dude uh we had no shows so uh back to what I was saying I don't
00:35:26Skyknow if waiting until marriage includes all sexual acts so I would know based on certain things like second base if he's
00:35:36Skybut size is like not the concern like I know sex is very important okay I've known but it's not the
00:35:46Karenpriority for me right now size matters when it's size matters when it's a micro for sure if you're audio no she is I'm
00:35:55Brian Atlasgood it's dou checking wait okay I don't know what is going on but talk about okay um I
00:36:05Nick (production)mean would you be with a guy who has a micro a microen I mean [ __ ] exactly You' probably know have already married how
00:36:15Brian Atlasit looks how it looks how it here let me ask you a question uh so you've had sex already yeah but now you're waiting until marriage uh can I ask like have
00:36:27Skyyou had a one night stand no you've never slept with a guy the same night you met him
00:36:34Skyno uh second night third um most of my hookups have been from dating apps so I
00:36:42Skyprobably like third night third night okay I mean and do you want to date a Christian guy um I'm not really picky um it says in the Bible that like if you
00:36:55Skydate someone or like you marry someone that has Faith then you're saved and if uh like a man or a woman it doesn't matter have you been so have you been
00:37:05Skycelibate for a while yeah how long you've been celibate for uh right now uh 2 years and then previously I did another two years before I met the five
00:37:16Brian Atlasdates guy all right well it's not the worst I've heard but uh and look you're if a if a woman had previously slept with a 100 men on the first date and and
00:37:28Brian Atlasshe decides after doing that that she wants to wait until she's married to have sex with her what would be her 100 and first partner that's her
00:37:39Brian Atlasprerogative from the guy's perspective if I were to be advising like a male friend if that would be an acceptable Dynamic she's she can do it I would just
00:37:50Brian Atlastell him you shouldn't date her so are you seeing it women are welcome to switch up you could have been doing sex work only fans sleeping with a new guy
00:38:01Brian Atlasevery single day of the week you can switch up and be like well I'm going to wait until marriage now but you're you're able to do it but men are also allowed to feel like that's
00:38:13Skykind of a raw deal and this is not a woman that I want to pursue yeah I mean I can totally understand that especially from the perspective of like if I'm with a guy that's like actually like good for
00:38:23Skyme and I'm holding out or withholding sex from him then he might not be as enthused by it but Sal Brian Saar
00:38:34TTS/Donationsdonated $69 Brian banana lover boy is wrong what separates you from fnf and other dating podcasts is whatever isn't ratchet and
00:38:44TTS/Donationsunprofessional keep up the good work bricks m 8 88888 guys roasted Ro boom roasted all
00:38:54Brian Atlasright thank you man I think we're going to we are now going to boost the uh TTS trigger back up to the normal so that should be switched appreciate all of you guys who
00:39:06Skysent some in the trigger should be bumped back up so go ahead with your point I definitely believe that like okay so I am willing to compromise on
00:39:18Skythe waiting until marriage but it's really situation based um it's not something it's something that I recently came to terms with like after the shro it's been within the past like 4 months
00:39:29Skythat I was like okay I feel like I want to wait until marriage but that's um something that I'm willing to like compromise on or kind
00:39:40Skyof it's more so me just enforcing a boundary that I haven't enforced before of saying okay I want to withhold or wait to have sex with people before so that I can feel chemistry with them and
00:39:53Brian Atlasnot convolute it with sex cuz sex will convolute any chemistry that you have and it'll ruin the potential of a good relationship can I ask you a question what if there was a scenario where you meet a guy and could
00:40:04Brian Atlasyou imagine a scenario where for example you meet a guy that he's not inclined to wait until marriage but let's say you do have sex with him he really likes you you guys get into a long-term
00:40:15Brian Atlasrelationship you guys end up dating for one or two years sex is great you guys love each other monogamous relationship he now ends up proposing to
00:40:25Brian Atlasyou you guys get married you get the man okay s like a great but so but by let's say in this scenario he knows exactly what he's
00:40:38Brian Atlaslooking for in a relationship and that's a sexual relationship okay and that would potentially close the door on a guy who would could otherwise end up
00:40:47Skybeing your future husband life partner any thoughts on that like I said I'm willing to compromise so if it's really important
00:40:58Skyto him then I'm expecting him to communicate that to him to me like I really need sex in a relationship and I would completely understand that and I
00:41:08Skywould sympathize with it because I'm like I am someone who wants sex too but I'm also someone who in the past has made irresponsible decisions when I was younger and I didn't want I don't want
00:41:20Brian Atlasto like so you would like to wait until marriage but if presented with an attractive enough partner you would does that sound like can I can I
00:41:32Brian Atlasmake that decision is that like greedy or what it sound selfish okay but everyone's selfish I think you're totally valid does anybody what what is what's the panel's thoughts on the whole like well
00:41:45Brian Atlasyou've had sex with 20 people I'm not saying that's the case for you but you've had sex with 20 30 40 people first night second night third night then Prince Charming comes along and oh
00:41:56Brian Atlashold on I I gave it to the [ __ ] boys right instantly but the guy who's actually ought to be deserving of sexual access you get to wait your thoughts on
00:42:06Alyssathat panel go ahead I think that anybody is can change like drug addicts get sober all the time people get saved and so I think people can genuinely decide
00:42:16Alyssauh I want to be reborn in one way or another and that's valid but um if the partner comes along and he can't respect her boundaries on that then he's not meant for her to begin with it's
00:42:27Alyssaincompatibility issue at that point and you will find somebody who will respect that and you shouldn't just let you shouldn't just let anybody make you change your mind on what you morally
00:42:38Brian Atlasthink is right yeah and a man who is Prince Charming won't try to force you too yeah this just my take I don't think it's about I don't think he would force her he would just uh just walk out he
00:42:50Bobby Lavenderwould yeah and he's entitled to do that live he Leed uh any thoughts from you I agree sir I think we're just all very sexual beings especially men and I
00:43:02Bobby Lavendermean that's a pretty hard that's a hard cell I think for most guys but I do see like I like this is totally a valid point and that's what I was going to say first is that like people can change and
00:43:16Bobby Lavenderlike my promiscuity used to be higher and now I really don't have a desire for men can't confirm at all besides mine right women women obviously
00:43:28Brian Atlasdifferent story but like I'm not saying that women shouldn't change for the better can't change for the better but it's like don't expect men to accept
00:43:38Skyyour past because we also have a right of discernment and judgment just as you do so that's totally fair too and I mean I can see why it seems weird but it's
00:43:50Skyalso like I'm not going to judge I'm not as judgmental of the guy if he's made a decision whatever decision like
00:44:00Brian Atlasinformed by his past experiences at least from the male perspective it's one thing like if she's a virgin or like that's always been her standard right maybe not like the
00:44:13Brian Atlasmarriage thing but she's like okay well I want to wait until we're in like a serious long-term relationship she's only been with one two three other guys that she always waited like one two 3 months before having sex but I think
00:44:25Brian Atlasit's just like the switch up of like the shifting in values um cuz I think one of the concerns that might be the case maybe not marriage but let's say a girl wants to wait three months to have sex
00:44:37Brian Atlasit's like okay did you do that for the last guy and then what about the guy that's going to probably be after me yeah cuz like that's the that's the crazy thing is like when girls like oh I
00:44:46Alyssawant to I've got a 60-day rule and then like they've nevered done that [ __ ] but they've never enforced can I say something really quick I actually have a friend who just even with her boyfriend
00:44:58Alyssaher current boyfriend um like they've hooked up plenty of times and then she was like you know what I'm going to go back to Jesus and they're both very attractive people he's a very attractive guy and he's actually respecting her
00:45:09Brian Atlasgoing c a bit oh wait so they they were dating yes oh this is inter are still dating I've heard about this a little bit but okay so they're dating they were dating they were having sex she became
00:45:19Brian Atlasreligious found Jesus's not interesting and then so they were having sex they're still together but then she's like let's not have sex anymore yeah she's like morally I just feel like God's putting
00:45:30Alyssait on my heart to like wait until marriage and he actually is going along with it yeah I mean I hope I hope she comments I mean watching Hillary if is
00:45:41Alyssahe intending to marry her how long they've been together o I don't know like maybe a year they live together they have a really healthy relationship he's cheating no he I promise he's not I
00:45:54Alyssamean he would be 100% I mean I don't trust anybody but I he's not cheating on her it would be 100% pretext for a breakup he would be 100% in the right to break up with her yeah like if he decided he wanted to I'm not saying it's
00:46:04Alyssanot valid he also seems to be uh if he's okay with it I mean I suppose that's fine but yeah I mean everybody's going to have different standards but I don't I think it's fair if men are like you know
00:46:16Brian Atlaswhat I'm not cool with this but not all men are going to be that way I've had I've actually had one or two similar experiences to that sort of but like earlier on which has been very PEC culiar so I've had like I've hooked up
00:46:29Brian Atlasonce twice three times with girl and then she's like uh can we like pump the brakes can we and like that's not it religious
00:46:39Skyreason good look nope just like yeah I don't know if i' tell people that isn't it though dependent on the guy and his tolerance well no no this is what it is this is I this is
00:46:50Brian Atlasmy this is what I think it is in in that situation is that so hooked up the girls and then they're like oh uh I don't know like they still want to date me but
00:47:01Brian Atlasthey're like ah I feel like we move too quick you know I think it's that they want to tr they want to leverage it into a long-term relationship but at that point the cats out of the [ __ ] bat
00:47:14Brian Atlasand I just feel like that's way too much like carrot on the stick it's way too much you trying to like withhold or leverage sex because it was never we already hooked up now you want to reel it back to try to get me into a
00:47:27Alyssalong-term relationship so those invariably I was just like that's weird if it's for religious reasons I can understand it but I mean I mean and I think everybody has a right to their own body and what they want to do but that situation is a little bit less like I I
00:47:39Skydon't understand it as much as if they have like some moral obligation that they it makes sense to me if a woman is trying to pursue a long-term relationship as her primary prerogative
00:47:50Skybecause that's how we biologically are wired we want stability for our potential Offspring
00:47:59Skyand if we are making decisions based off of that like I think most women have the sense that like if they're going to get into a long-term relationship with
00:48:10Julietsomebody okay uh so anyways um let's get your relationship status I am properly single um I was in a seven-year
00:48:19Julietrelationship that ended in 2020 and um yeah I've taken the last four years to work on friendship in my business and I haven't really dated at all so okay so
00:48:32Brian Atlassingle for four years you're dating for seven so from like uh your late 20s to mid-30s you guys were 38 now so yeah that ended when I was 34 okay and is
00:48:45Brian Atlasthat your longest relationship you've had so you've been single for four years you've been and you said no dating no
00:48:52Brian Atlascelibate yeah for 4 years yes damn [Music] all right wow okay sell bit for four
00:49:03Julietnothing not even a rebound no rebound no oh okay all right good for you and uh okay why did your relationship end um there were a lot of value
00:49:15Julietdifferences in the beginning okay that I was aware of but I just kind of ignored um he's not a bad person but um yeah there was some huge value discrepancies that I just kind of like turned a blind
00:49:27Julieteye too and that was totally on me and it just got to the point where I think as I continue to grow and mature as a person it was just not it was not doable for me anymore and um I think that if
00:49:39Julietthere's some really big core value differences like that's not something that like counseling or talking it out can really change um I'm also not really interested in changing the man that I love and I want to be with so it just
00:49:51Julietgot to the point where out of my out of respect for myself and for him I was like this is not how I want to live rest of my life and you know while I still have some Youth and fitness and looks and health I'd like to like find someone
00:50:02Brian Atlaswho is who's right for me so so did you end things I did okay all right and so okay single for four years and did
00:50:15Karenthings in person or was it like a text message relation definitely in person we were living together later okay got it yeah what about you I'm married for 10 years and uh I'm proud to say actually
00:50:27Karenthat I married my first or no not first one night he was a one one night stand so I married a one night stand he was supposed to be a one night stand and it turned into a 10-year relationship so oh there you go was he a tender no he was a
00:50:40Brian Atlasperson I met in real life wait so married for 10 years but how long were you together before uh married um about a year and a half okay so together for about like 11 12 years yeah okay got it
00:50:52Karenwe're coming on 12 years together all right and he was a one night stand how did did you you guys met at the club no we met in Alaska we were both working up in Alaska yeah we were selling jewelry
00:51:03Karenfor different companies and here's the funny thing so this guy that I met he was the friend of a guy who I was already hooking up with in Alaska cuz in Alaska there's very very little to do
00:51:15Karenyou're working 12 to 14 hours a day and then afterwards you're drinking or [ __ ] that's literally the only two things to do in Alaska I'm sure a lot of people are [ __ ] the same people exactly a small community small and the
00:51:27Karentown that we were in was literally four streets wide 20 streets long you could walk the whole town in 45 minutes what town that's why they call it es um Skagway Alaska so Skagway yes and um
00:51:39Karenthere's a lot of skags that way okay well what what prompted the whole thing was the guy who I was seeing him and I had kind of like we the attraction just wasn't there anymore cuz we had hooked up the first
00:51:51Karentime i' had gone up to Alaska and it just fizzled out so when we came back up we tried to reconnect again it just wasn't working so I met his friend and I
00:52:01Karendidn't like him at first but um we had made an agreement the guy who I was with like I'm not going to sleep with any of your friends you don't sleep with any of mine I find out he slept with one of my
00:52:11Karenfriends so I had to sleep with one of his revenge is Revenge that so you know but it turned into something a lot bigger than I thought and the craziest
00:52:21Karenpart of the story is this is crazy I love it I was working with his mom before I met him I didn't know that it was her son when I was dating him so come the end of the summer when we first
00:52:33Karenstarted hooking up his mom and I are having dinner and mind you we're really good friends and so she's like so I hear you're seeing someone and we tried to keep it on the DL we didn't want everybody to know and uh she's I was
00:52:44Karenlike yeah I'm not I'm not sure where it's going you know like hopefully you know it's something that lasts long but you know longdistance relationships we'll see we'll see she's like yeah so what are your intentions with my son and
00:52:55Karenstraight up like at a movie I was like what I'm [ __ ] my friend son I was like oh well she's like just be good to each other and a year and a half later we're married so it worked out now my
00:53:07Brian Atlasmother-in-law is my best friend so wait going back to you really quick and then I have a couple questions for you sure um wait so when you're trying to divorce him was it during your first or second
00:53:17Brian Atlassecond pregnancy my first oh wait hold on but you have two kids I do so wait why did you if you're trying to divorce
00:53:27Alyssahim during your first pregnancy why did you go and have a second kid with him so that it's were you guys like working it out kind of or sort of um but I didn't
00:53:38Brian Atlasexactly choose to get pregnant again unexpected yeah good times okay yeah yeah all right we're going to read two chats then we're
00:53:48Brian Atlasgoing to get into uh some topics here uh we have Bobby Bobby I'm going to have you read some of these chats Nick can you pull pull this up the dyslexic person okay oh you're dyslexic okay give
00:54:00Bobby Lavenderit a shot I believe in you oh is this one okay Alysa I love those kids but can you quit being so easy on the lore HS um give the juicy stories I'll find a
00:54:13Bobby Lavenderway to wipe the internet of this interview by the time they are old enough to see it what is that your is that thees yeah he looks like The Lorax okay so after I left um I so I have't
00:54:26Alyssablocked and I had to change my number and all kinds of stuff but my friends still look at his page cuz people are nosy like people are just nosy and they send me a screenshot um
00:54:37Alyssaof his new partner and um in that picture like my husband had literally aged like 20 years in the course of a few months and um so there's like a side
00:54:47Alyssaby-side picture and everybody called him The Lorax I don't I don't know who that is or why they just said that on the internet but um it must be someone I mean you can't really help how you look
00:54:59Alyssaso there's more important things than that but I think it can be a reflection of like maybe you're when you stop taking care of yourself it looks like maybe things are going downhill a little
00:55:11Brian Atlasbit all right so he's The Lorax because he looks yeah they say he looks like The Lorax this okay can confirm uh Bobby can
00:55:23Bobby Lavenderhave you read this one please thank you Bron Nance repeal the 19th Amendment immediately these women have no understanding of how men work or what we
00:55:31Bobby Lavenderwant nor do they care about what we want we need Patrice O'Neal back immediately I love what do you are you I