04:42:19Brian Atlashad a woman on the show like two weeks ago Andrew you were there this uh three girls claimed to be virgins I don't know what the truth was one of them on her
04:42:28Brian AtlasInstagram like had a sternum tattoo and like a full thing on her side I'm like could could a virgin have be blasted in tattoos like
04:42:39Brian Atlasthat I suppose you don't need to have sex in order to get tattoos but I'm just going to jump to conclusions anyways as a guy and be like yes so since when
04:42:50Brian Atlassince when does a woman with a sternum tattoo like how are you a virgin you think because I post out it alludes to that I'm not a virgin no no no no no and he wasn't even conflating it was about
04:43:02Andrew Wilsonthe stern yeah he's just saying he's saying from my perspective this entire tattoo thing would be a massive red flag that would cause me to disbel your motivations okay or disbel the things
04:43:14Andrew Wilsonthat you're saying and so in the same case here with this guy that you're dating he's thinking the same thing right sure oh yes sure that was for girls because you wanted to show your body valid you know what I mean from his
04:43:25Andrew Wilsonperspective of course you're not going to think that because every other woman who's posting similar picks like this is and we're pattern recognition machines right and most of them out humping
04:43:35Natalieeverything with a penis so they're like ah I'm not sure right I yeah I I could how it was presented that way I think it was more the way that he said it is what I took offense to and the not believing me after conversation was like one of
04:43:48Nataliethe many red flags that happened all on that same day gave you the ick he gave me the ick several times he was also just a very not insecure because of the you know potential [ __ ] sham but insecure in the fact that he was actually just a very insecure can you
04:44:01Andrew Wilsonlook right at the camera and say he gave me the ick which camera do I look at that one that one which one which one do I look like look at this one this one no this one right
04:44:11Brian Atlaswe're good there you go one two three he gave me the ick the major ick major I do have to move things on here going to Gracie you said your first boyfriend situationship cheated on you while you were out of town for your sister's
04:44:24Brian Atlaswedding you found out through other people texting asking if we were together and sending me picks of them together so she said first boyfriend/ situationship this working out well for you this was so it was your boyfriend or
04:44:35Gracienot your boyfriend um on and off but it was like a high school sophomore year relationship very immature I didn't know very much he didn't either but we were
04:44:47Graciedating at the time of this happening but we were like on and off affiliated with each other for like a year a year and a half so were there any overt Communications about monogamy we're just seeing each other this is exclusive we
04:45:00Brian Atlaswere exclusively seeing each other for the whole like year and a half that we were wait hold on Affiliated was there an overt conversation about that yes multiple
04:45:11Brian Atlastimes okay so we're monogamous we're just seeing each other okay yeah okay well I mean he cheated on you yeah so I'm from California my sister lives in
04:45:21GracieUtah she's like 9 years older than me she was getting married and once again like this was in high school so there was an upcoming dance I think it was homecoming or something and in the weeks
04:45:34Gracieleading up to the dance I was like oh dang it like I can't go my sister's wedding is happening blah blah blah I communicated it and what said it off like immediately as just weird was that he asked if he could bring another girl
04:45:46Gracieand I was just thrown off in general I was like first of all why would you want to second of all I don't understand the point because everybody in the group they were going with didn't have a date like all the guys if they didn't have a
04:45:58Graciegirlfriend they didn't bring anyone and I would say it's like 50/50 who didn't have girlfriends and wait he asked you if he could bring another girl yes he asked me if I could bring another girl
04:46:10Gracieand I was like to the dance or to the wedding to the dance I was going out of town for the wedding and I was already bummed because like again this was my
04:46:20Graciefirst like guy who's ever really shown interest in me so I was so excited to have like a dance a guy to go to a dance with you know but besides the point I was way more excited for my sister's
04:46:31Graciewedding so I go I'm just like okay I'll make the most of it like this such an exciting thing to be at and the reception and ceremony happened to be the exact same day as the dance so like
04:46:43Gracienighttime rolls around I'm at the wedding party and I start getting these texts from people and Utah is 1 hour ahead of California time so I'm getting texts like the night is winding down
04:46:55Graciewhile the after party for whatever dance was going on is happening and multiple people like from different friend groups start texting me like do you like are you guys dating officially like cuz
04:47:08Gracieeverybody kind of knew that we were at least Affiliated or just with each other and weren't seeing other people so it was just like a weird vibe I'd imagine seeing from an outsider's perspective so
04:47:19GracieI was receiving all these texts just kind of thrown off and I didn't want to talk to him about it immediately because I was just like this is going to ruin the night that I'm having like I don't want to ruin my sister's wedding over
04:47:30Graciethis you know so I let it be and then eventually when I got back to my hotel room the party was still happening so being a girl that I am I made a fake Snapchat account he nobody knows this
04:47:42Gracienot even like my sister I made a fake Snapchat account and I added him and of course he added me back immediately and I started snapping him like black screens like
04:47:54Gracietrying to talk to him like engaging in conversation with him and um maybe like four snaps in I'm like oh do you have a girlfriend by the way just to see what he would say cuz I was like what is he
04:48:06Gracietelling this girl which by the way if I'm with a guy at a party and he napping a girl he just added on Snapchat that is so weird just a bajillion red flags going up regardless but he responds to
04:48:18Graciethat with I don't have a girlfriend and I was just like okay I'm lighing his ass up like this is not happening whatever but I decided to again keep it calm until I got back home to actually talk
04:48:29Gracieto him about it but um everything kind of unfolded once I got back home I was just kind of over it and I saw photos from both his
04:48:40Graciephone and two other people who again weren't in the same friend group just happened to like snipe them together at the party cuz they were like this is wrong she needs to know about it and
04:48:52Gracieyeah I went over to his house yelled at him to the point where his mom like came out and was like I think it's time to go like the neighbors can hear you but yeah
04:49:03Graciethat was the end of that and I'm typically not very angry like as a person so it took a lot out of me but yeah how did you yell at him like
04:49:13Brian Atlaspretend I'm your exboyfriend oh I was go ahead yell at me I had a whole like no let's do it role play Let's Do It Go ahead I would have to really dial in
04:49:23Gracieright now yeah dial in I'm trying to think I had a whole like list I had a list of things that I was going through like that bothered me that hurt me just everything and I was just one after
04:49:37Gracieanother you know there were bullet points perar yeah exactly I had bullet points got a couple words in but there wasn't much for him to say anyway but yeah I don't even think I could reenact
04:49:47Gracieit how about just the tone what was the tone I don't it was very therapeutic I can say that but were you yelling you said you were yelling I was yelling I was yelling
04:50:00Graciebecause it started as just a conversation because I genuinely wanted to hear what he had to say it was I to me it was funny at that point cuz I was so over it but yeah switch definitely flipped and I started yelling at him
04:50:13Brian Atlaspretty like okay pretty angrily well what did he say he making he started like profusely apologizing after well at first he was
04:50:24Brian Atlastrying to so he was with was he just with a girl like were they doing things I maybe I missed that part he did they
04:50:34Graciemade out or something something like that something I don't that's the issue is I still don't even know what fully happened but I did see a like photo of them like making
04:50:46Brian Atlasout so that at least I know that happened you know exactly yeah uh next thing okay your boyfriend lied to you about not being a what so this was my most recent
04:50:58Gracieboyfriend and the only can you just condense you got to try to condense it like okay so this is the guy I dated for about 6 months at the beginning of the relationship he seemed pretty insecure
04:51:10Graciejust like kind of questioned a lot of stuff about me and one of the things he tried to bring up a lot was just like sex and body count and that type of
04:51:20Graciething and I don't know if he he was trying to impress me or show me that he was like experience through something which to me kind of put me off but he said that he had I don't even remember
04:51:31Graciewhat number it was but like a decently like a moderately high body count and I was just like okay like I don't really care about that I understand I don't really
04:51:41Graciecare and come to find out after everything unfolded that he was a virgin and just never told me and not only did
04:51:50Graciehe not tell me he would like make up stories about these girls and a lot of them I like personally knew cuz this was a guy who went to the same high school
04:52:01Gracieas me so I would like go out and see these people and be like oh so he's like had sex with her he's had sex with her like okay noted and then just I found out through his friend after we broke up
04:52:13Graciethat he was a virgin which isn't a problem is not a problem at all we St exactly why would you lie about it women lie about being virgins all the
04:52:25Courtney / Rihannatime but like telling inp stories with name drops is a little that's a little wild but even even so woman or man like why would anyone you know like he just guy we're not have to throw it out like
04:52:37Courtney / Rihannawell womit I think that's so crazy oh stop stop stop one person at a time go ahead oh no I just think that that is crazy man or woman doing that that someone would be like making up stories about
04:52:50Courtney / Rihannawho they oh and I helpt with her and like especially telling stories in depth like man or woman the thr yeah it was offputting to say the least well I mean men would lie about it so that they he
04:53:01Brian Atlascan be seen as more experienced but then and then women will lie in the opposite way so they can come off as more um innocent inter Pure or whatever so both are wrong though like
04:53:14Nataliethe best thing is just people to tell the truth I think you should be honest tell the truth about how many yout with I think it's also one thing to be be like say it's to number like oh like I slept with two girls but telling like in-depth stories and saying people that
04:53:26Brian Atlasyou know and we all know are the ones that he had slept with were you were you a virgin yes at the time yeah you were both virgins no right okay yeah they both cuz I could
04:53:38Brian Atlasmaybe like I could sort of understand the the justification of a man like if he's dating a girl who's not a virgin and he's a virgin he wouldn't want like again I think you should tell the truth but I can sort of understand understand
04:53:50Brian Atlasit a little bit not saying it's right but uh you said love bombing and how easy it can be to to be blind to it this is the same guy okay can you be brief though yeah I mean it's just kind of
04:54:02GracieGeneral stuff again he was like the second guy who gave me a lot of male attention and I thought it was great whatever like he's really into me this is great he like acknowledges things that I don't
04:54:14Graciethink most people see about me and I just felt really seen and understood and supported and it ended up being a lot of manipulation that I was kind of blind to until it was way too late and then even
04:54:26Gracieat that point like this is the guy I tried to break up with like 3 months in at that point even after I broke up with him because subconsciously well not subconsciously consciously I knew that it was not good for me that something
04:54:38Graciewas going wrong after I tried to I was like broken down and I didn't like I genuinely thought my life was like going to be nothing without him like all these
04:54:49Graciejust toxic thoughts and after a lot of a lot of like thoughts um on that I realized that it was all just love
04:55:01Brian Atlasbombing okay uh you said specifically for the women dating to decide if you like the guy not if he likes you or trying to fit the mold you think he wants you to fit
04:55:11Gracieyeah I mean I think that kind of says it all it's super easy to go out with somebody and be like Oh do they like me like I wonder what they think about me
04:55:22Gracieespecially as a girl like we are taught to appease people especially men just growing up and I think it's really easy to fall into that instead of thinking
04:55:32Gracielike oh how will this guy be able to further my life you know well hold on but it's not clear to me as a woman if
04:55:41Brian Atlasyou would even give a [ __ ] if like you wouldn't if you don't like the guy why would you give a [ __ ] if he likes you or not so the only
04:55:53Brian Atlasscenario where you would come to this like does he like me thing cuz I hear this thing of like you shouldn't worry if like the guy likes you you have to think do I like the guy
04:56:06Brian Atlasright because that's what you wrote dating to decide if you like the guy but you're only going to be thinking that if you like the guy no no can I add something you're you're GNA you're going
04:56:17Courtney / Rihannato just try to [ __ ] a guy you don't like no no I think that what no I think that what that means what that means is some women let's say they are no no no no no I'll let you say your thing but no let's
04:56:29Courtney / Rihannasay someone's going for validation that maybe they are liking this validation they're getting from this person giving them this attention This Love Bone they're wow this is so great oh like because they're receiving this love so
04:56:41Courtney / Rihannathe question is rather than just looking oh and am am I pretty enough am I good am I skin am I am I this enough for this person hey take a pause woman look at this guy who is he what does he do do you like it do you guys have things in
04:56:53Courtney / Rihannacommon rather than getting caught up in the fact that he's giving you all this love and attention that's I think what the core is of that quot hold on this is crazy right am right that was perfect no no no that's actually crazy that's
04:57:04Brian Atlasactually crazy because women are bombarded with attention and validation and you guys have no issue curving
04:57:14Brian Atlasignoring and rejecting those men right you right bro like you think if you think if I just show interest in a girl that's enough to get her to light
04:57:26Brian Atlasme back hell no women are way more picky than men are women ask for way more than men do so how could it possibly be the case that I don't even see how that makes any sense well I don't know if I
04:57:39Brian Atlascan necessarily explain it but literally every single one just noed like oh yes it's 100% relatable ifty platitude it's like an empty platitude you got to figure out if you like the guy I think
04:57:51Natalienot like does he like like it doesn't make any sense it's more like do you not based off of like not just initial attraction we're talking about people I think in general if we can all agree that we're already initially physically attracted to it's do you like the
04:58:05Brian Atlasattention that they're giving you and the validation and they're saying the right things to you so it makes you to think oh like I can really see a future with this guy him it would you wouldn't care but we're not fuing guy we're talking about like going into a
04:58:18Natalierelationship like seeing if it's worth going into a relationship with right but if the things weren't there that made you attracted to him there would be no questioning but we're saying like on a deeper level deer Lev like is he not just giving me attention and validation
04:58:31NatalieI find him physically attractive is there something deeper here can we have good conversation is he a man that I could see being in my future or is he just giving me the attention that I need right now now bars I think that's the kind of
04:58:47Nataliedifference you get you get what I'm saying I mean was that confusing a little bit a little bit but I I think the part that's thr you off is like or does he just like me it's more like he's saying the right things and giving me the attention and I am physically
04:58:58Courtney / Rihannaattracted to him but is there something like deeper here like is there an actual connection and is it just word without action backed up and then now you as a woman are projecting all these things into the future oh and what the wedding going be like and then it's just like
04:59:11Courtney / Rihannawhoa pull it back look at this guy what does his Monday through Friday look like is he just playing video games 24/7 does he have a job like are these words just empty words with no promises is he saying that to seven other women right
04:59:24Courtney / Rihannanow like you know what I'm saying like it like a man could be giving me attention and I could be like someone could have like a hole in their heart almost like there's something missing so then a man's giving you this attention
04:59:36Courtney / Rihannayou are almost for a time it's this it's an instant gratification Oh yay oh that oh that's great but it's like rather than just jumping into a relationship with that person which people can do because it feels good this instant
04:59:47Courtney / Rihannagratification you can pause and actually assess who that person is and is there something more there or is this someone who you're in a way just using to fill a void where you don't have to face yourself and whatever struggles you're
04:59:58Brian Atlasfacing inside bars you feel like that's dating it it's like liking the idea of a guy vers actually liking him so just dating I I just don't understand this whole like I shouldn't be Focus on if he
05:00:11Gracielikes me I need to figure out if I like him yeah like I think it's just easy to get lost in the idea of like oh this guy's into me so I have to be into him
05:00:20Brian Atlasback women are hold on this is maybe something that can apply to men but women are are bombarded with sexual and romantic attention so you guys have no
05:00:32Brian Atlasproblem curving and rejecting guys who are into you you do it all the time so I don't understand that you're saying every single guy who shows interest in you you end up dating them no and you're
05:00:45Courtney / Rihannaan attractive woman you're all attractive women well hold on why are you at me everyone of us is a 10 everyone's oh
05:00:55Brian Atlassorry you're all 10 you're all T all T brutality you're all attractive women I'm sure you have a lot of potential suitors I'm sure you have a lot if you're if you're on Instagram dating
05:01:05Brian Atlasapps in person whatever uh I'm sure there's no shortage of shortage of men who find you attractive who'd want to date you I'm also sure that there's no sh of of men no sh of godamn what the
05:01:17Brian Atlas[ __ ] sorry I swear it's it's the champagne I'm I'm drunk um that strong ass it's actually German champagne um
05:01:26Nataliehey so there's no shortage of why can't I say this word there's no shortage of men you just
05:01:36Brian Atlasreject but we're saying only initi we're saying only guys that we find attractive initially though and they're ustion it's like do you like him on a deeper level or you're attract you
05:01:49Natalielike a guy who you find physically attractive forbid no we're not talking about just like sleeping with the guy we're talking about having an establishing an actual relationship I think think you guys are arguing past
05:01:59Andrew Wilsoneach other so you're essentially saying the same thing um just in different ways so Brian's right he's saying listen if the attraction this type of thing wasn't
05:02:10Andrew Wilsonthere to begin with then you wouldn't give a [ __ ] if this person uh had any reciprocal interest or not and so that's true right I don't think that there's
05:02:21Andrew Wilsonany way that that cannot be true but if what you mean by this is even if that interest is reciprocal I still have to make a decision as to whether I actually do like him then I don't think that
05:02:32Courtney / Rihannathere's any conflict here I think that that makes sense on both angles is that what's going on I yeah I think literally what going on a date is you're going on a date to find out if you Vibe with
05:02:44Brian Atlassomeone I don't get how it's like a 10-minute discuss anyways I I will uh I will move it on a little bit but going back to your more of your notes Gracie you got some bombs in here you just kind
05:02:55Brian Atlasof in some things right it's like yeah this just how it is she she's got bombs uh so some of them I may not want to elaborate on sure you think women and men play very different roles in
05:03:07Brian Atlasrelationships and leading into your role is what make a relationship longlasting healthy and fulfilling for both parties so what are the different roles I mean I think we kind of went into this with
05:03:17Gracielike the whole chasing whatever type of thing but especially when it comes to like women just naturally being more emotional like I think it's important
05:03:27Brian Atlasfor women to tap into that and allow for a man to be a like supporter you know what what do you mean I want say supporter more like listening to you um
05:03:38Graciebicker no I kind of mean it the opposite way like women should emotionally support men while women can like we have a strong
05:03:48Graciesuit in emotionally supporting people as a whole and specifically men while they typically would provide and I think that is why did you laugh at
05:04:00Brian Atlasthat don't have much of my podcast I thought you were laughing at the whole like women emotionally supporting you wouldn't have much of a podcast if we all just sat here quiet though true oh I'm not talking about that I'm talking about in a relationship yeah I don't
05:04:11Brian Atlasargue about dating Dynamics with like if I'm dating a girl it's the last thing I want to do if I'm when I'm not dating somebody but um so okay women they they
05:04:21Brian Atlassupport their man isn't it the opposite though men are like women are emot you cheated on me in a dream oh [ __ ] you oh you cheated it's your fault that
05:04:34Brian AtlasI dreamt of you cheating on I've done that a couple times oh you've done it okay there you go yeah I had I was dating a girl once and she was like now makes me feel better about my dream now Mak me feel better about my dream but I
05:04:46Graciethink it's important to feel that and to like not not that ex specific example but to tap into your emotions as a woman wait so what what are the different
05:04:56Gracieroles though like woman emotionally supports I don't have like a fully like fledged out what about the woman argument on this what do you think about that I think that in a marriage I think
05:05:08Graciethat well who said anything about the marriage I think in a marriage on the first date Nick pull up the bow video oh my gosh I need this on the first date first date I think it depends on the
05:05:19Gracietype of woman to begin with but typically tip it down that good go ahead like for myself I I would be so happy to like raise children and be fulfilled in
05:05:30Graciethat way but once again I can't speak for every woman and I don't mean to you know well you can still be submissive before you're married but you think I'm here to learn and
05:05:42Anyiachange my mind laugh how do you say submissive in German I don't know you don't know I don't know you don't know do you know what I'm talking about though say it another another time well why why did you laugh what was
05:05:56Lucy (Luchia)funny because you were looking at her and then wait I'm what you were looking at her and then I just the irony of me being a dominatrix we're talking about submissive women wait is that I don't
05:06:08Anyiathink that was I something didn't make that connection looking at her I don't know was it the way I was looking at her I'm not sure what's going on I was looking at you no I just I just started laughing because
05:06:21Brian Atlasyou was looking at her oh like from 5 minutes ago well not from 5 minutes ago yeah when like the 10 thing and the night I'm so [ __ ] lost right now I know what's going on it's like a delayed hold on it was like
05:06:35Brian Atlasa five minutes later no that's good um wait it's okay that's kind of all I have to elaborate should but like should women be submissive to to men like a guy
05:06:47Gracieto take a polarized stance on that because I think take take a polarized stance I don't want to you can though but I don't want to and I think that is that like the hot but an issue being submissive and I just don't want to speak for
05:07:01Graciepeople who might feel differently than me you know no you can for me personally for me personally I would love to be a state home mom and be submissed to my H husband but I'm not
05:07:12Andrew Wilsongoing to say that that's right for every woman no you can say that's it I don't want and I'm not say it with your cheste I'm not going say it with your chest well let me let me ask it a different
05:07:23Andrew Wilsonway do you think that the results for most women if they followed the idea of being a stay-at-home mom and submission
05:07:32Andrew Wilsonto their husband that the results for most of them would probably be good yeah I think in general that is what brings women the most fulfillment yeah but I do
05:07:45Graciethink that that may be different for some people and that's why I don't want to make Brian another way that this could be said just so you know is that she thinks most women should be submissive I just want to let you know
05:07:55Nataliethat okay so now both of you got what you wanted wait is it like is that a bad thing no we're trying to get her to say it that's why I you can say it I just don't want to speak for people who
05:08:07Nataliearen't me I think that you could also be submissive have a career and be a great I don't think that's why do you think more women I think I think you're right
05:08:17Andrew WilsonI think you could be submissive to your husband and have a career unless your husband said I don't want you to have a career I think being submissive to him that would be what that would be the
05:08:29Natalieopposite of submission right what I would Define submission as is that it's a discussion between the like say there's an issue it's a discussion But ultimately if the man is financi responsible for the family and is the leader of the family that he takes
05:08:43Andrew Wilsondoesn't sound if he makes the final decision how's that not submiss well because uh what if he doesn't want your input on the decision okay then no I well then then
05:08:55Andrew Wilsonthat's really well then hang on that's really weird uh cuz that sounds like it sounds to me like if he doesn't want your input on it at all at all and then goes not on everything but just maybe
05:09:08Natalieone thing or two things if he's just like yeah I don't [ __ ] care what you think about this I'm going to do this I think it depends on what the matter is if it's like where the kids are going to school or where we're living I would like to have some sort of
05:09:19Natalieopinion yeah but what if I think just a lack of respect I think it's a lack of respect I don't think it's submission how is it lack of respect if you are to not give a [ __ ] about what your partner thinks in some instances yeah I wouldn't give a [ __ ] about what my wife thought
05:09:32Andrew Wilsonabout all kinds of things I would give her [ __ ] about what she thought about all sorts of different things I wouldn't give a [ __ ] but here's the thing why should I why ultimately if
05:09:44Andrew Wilsonultimately I'm the decision maker if there's certain things that I I don't want her inut because you don't care about how she feels or her opinion then because ultimately regardless of how she feels or her opinion I'm going to do it
05:09:55Natalieanyway I mean I think that's a lack of respect relationship because you're not respecting her feelings or what she would maybe want even though it's ultim to me like you don't really want submission you want equality and then
05:10:07Natalieand then that's fine it's equality where he pays for everything and then occasionally you'll let him have the final say isn't that kind of no occasionally no I'm still saying he can have the final say as long as if it's a conversation we can have well let's well
05:10:19Andrew Wilsonlet's find out so you're with your husband yeah okay and you're like I want the kids to go over here cuz it's 15 minutes closer yeah okay and that's going to make my day possible otherwise I'm going to have to rearrange everything it's going to be a big
05:10:31Andrew Wilson[ __ ] pain in the ass blah blah blah blah blah I want him to go here and he says yeah I want him to go to this other school though why yeah and he says cuz I
05:10:41Andrew Wilsondo sorry ah yeah so that doesn't sound like submission to me that sounds like that sounds like I have to convince you that I'm right and have you okay it that's what that sounds like to me this
05:10:54Natalieis this is the thing I would like to play a more submissive role in my my marriage maybe not complete submission but a more submissive role talk sub that's just egalitarian [ __ ] you're masking as submission when I give you an
05:11:05Andrew Wilsonexample of a time where he says I don't need to justify this this is what's going to happen you say ah well it's not going to happen you gave me no J let me finish and then I'll let you talk you
05:11:17Andrew Wilsongave an example where he says I don't need to give you a justification for this thing I just need it done and I'm the decision maker you said nope that ain't going to fly I never said it's not going to happen I just think I wouldn't want to be a part of a marriage with
05:11:30Andrew Wilsonsomeone that doesn't value my op that you have to submit to I get it but I would want to submit to them just have as long as they did exactly what you want you would submit you're not listening you're I'm saying that I'm
05:11:43Andrew Wilsonfine with them making the ultimate decision if it coincides with everything I would like there to be some logic behind it them just saying because I want to is not like how what wait why does a person you're submitted to need
05:11:54Andrew Wilsonto justify their logic to you cuz I think that's basic respect oh okay it's basic respect but even if they say I don't want to justify the logic to you I just want this done right you say no I'm
05:12:06Natalienot doing that unless it's within the purview of what I want you're missing I'm not saying no what I'm saying is I wouldn't be in a marriage with someone right that you would have to submit to no
05:12:18Nataliepass submission think you can have that is fine she's allowed to have her own definition definition of submission as long as submission doesn't mean submission I'll admit that it's not complete submission but be I would like
05:12:30Andrew Wilsonto be a more submissive role in my marriage is that well that make is that a good stance oh yeah if you say I'd like to be I'd like to be more submissive but I would just kind of add the qualify as long as you can justify to me what it
05:12:42Andrew Wilsonis that you want to do and I agree with it then then that's the kind of marriage cuz that's what you're actually saying you want um I feel like it's beyond just that it's basic respect like she said what's that it's basic respect like she
05:12:55Andrew Wilsonsaid which I know that you disagree with and that's fine but you're not going to at the end of that is what about the respect the other way for the person who to have an open conversation about
05:13:06Andrew Wilsonitation now to ask about it most respectful thing you can do is adhere to my word so if that's the most respectful thing you can do is adhere to my word not question it then how are you respecting me as my wife I'm I'm asking
05:13:19Andrew Wilsonfor re different definitions of respect different definitions of respect we no we have the same definition of respect I'm saying that respect means one thing to you when it comes to how you're treated I'm saying that there's also treatment the other direction you're
05:13:32Andrew Wilsonassuming that a man wants to be respected the same way you do he he doesn't he has a whole different value structure of how he wants you to respect it how do you show respect to your wife yeah oh all sorts of ways right I
05:13:43Andrew Wilsonbasically give her whatever the hell she wants I adore her absolutely ad whatever the hell she wants but you have the ultimate decision oh yeah yeah but here's the thing the reason that I do this is because if I say um this is what
05:13:56Andrew Wilsonultimately is going to happen that's the last word in it and I don't even want to have the [ __ ] conversation we don't we don't now she may really want to and I can tell sometimes that she really
05:14:06Andrew Wilsondoes but I don't [ __ ] care because it's my decision ultimately so you don't care about how she feels I know I didn't say I didn't care how she feels I just don't care uh to have her question my authority autonomy over the marriage I
05:14:20Nataliedon't have I don't care to have her do that was there initial conversation prior to that or is it just like we're doing this don't ask depends on the context I would say more for like bigger decisions in life not necessarily like
05:14:31Andrew Wilsonlittle things like I think yeah even even larger decisions if ultimately I were to say let's say I went home and I said we're moving to Nevada in 3 weeks get your bags packed and I'm not going to have a [ __ ] I don't want to hear a
05:14:43Andrew Wilsonword about it you're doing it and that's the way it's going and you think that's respectful W I think that ultimately it's my choice and not hers okay and how she shows me respect yeah that's how she
05:14:54Natalieshows me respect it what the bo I mean I don't think we're I don't think we're going to change each other's opinion so I think it's I think it's fine well okay from a
05:15:04NatalieBiblical worldview what does submission mean being true and Faith um man has the ultimate
05:15:13Andrew Wilsondecision yeah and hang on hang on does it say that a woman is to adhere to the word of her man like he would she would unto the Lord it does say that and does
05:15:26Andrew Wilsonthe Lord need to justify [ __ ] anything to you he does what I think the whole Bible is a justification of his moral wait so the if the Lord came down and said I need you to walk down to
05:15:37Andrew WilsonFifth Avenue obit why hang on why then I don't understand how are you submitting to your husband like you hang on like you are unto the Lord if the Lord doesn't have to justify himself but your husband does because I have complete and
05:15:48Andrew Wilsonfull trust in the Lord and he's a a perfect person so you aren't you supposed to obey your husband like you you're supposed to say we're not perfect
05:15:58Andrew Wilsonpeople so you're basically just your cop out is yeah God wants me to but I'm not perfect that's your cop out no I'm saying my husband isn't perfect like but what is God instruct you to do with your husband what if there was something that
05:16:12Andrew Wilsonwhat does God instruct you to do with your I'm not going to let you avoid it what is he what is he instructing you to do be completely submissive be completely submissive what I'm saying is if you came I'm assuming you and your wife are both Christian yeah what if
05:16:24Nataliethere was something that was just such like goes completely against the Bible that you wanted to do and she tried to explain to you that well then in that case it would not comport with reason or
05:16:34Andrew Wilsonfaith and so like if for instance so for instance no it's not it's not a lack of reason to tell you to do thing that's not that's not unreasonable even not
05:16:47Andrew Wilsongiving you a justification is not unreasonable what would be unreasonable is if he was like we're going to go out tonight and we're going to you know take a baby and sacrifice it to Satan that would not comport with the reason and
05:16:57Andrew Wilsonthe nature of God so that's a a huge distinction but what if but what if she's she can't say no if she's supposed to be completely submissive to her no she can say no if it doesn't comport to the nature and reason of God yeah she
05:17:10Nataliecould say no but that ain't going to be where your kids go to school is it that ain't going to be where your kids go to school said God's really calling that they need to go to this Christian school and they need to do this and my husband said nope sending them to public school
05:17:21Andrew Wilsonwell if you think that God married you up to the person who he also told you to submit to but wants you to question him every chance you get and have him
05:17:31Andrew Wilsonjustify his decisions to you right and then you go to him and say God told me X that's fair God told me he wants him to go here what if if your husband says oh well God told me you're stupid and wrong and they're going over here what would
05:17:43Andrew Wilsonyour justification then be from your reasonable brain what would you say then well I feel like that's an unreasonable statement oh I feel like it's unreasonable to go to him and say God told me X against your will and he says that's great but there's logic behind
05:17:56Nataliethat being like I want my kids to be raised in a Christian School and this that and that you get you get what I'm saying yeah but the logic also is the the competation of adhering to your husband's words but I'm not saying it's a definite no not saying that I'm saying
05:18:09Andrew WilsonI I would like definite no it's not your decision it's his decision what I'm saying is I would like to be a part of the conversation and him
05:18:22Andrew Wilsonmake the ultimate decision and you know what that's that would be awesome if he lets you be part of the conversation what a great and swell guy yeah but he doesn't need to if you're submitted to
05:18:33Nataliehim that's the point not saying he does yeah no I'm not I'm just saying I would like to and I think that a man that I would want to marry would keep me a part of that conversation out of kindness and respect right so so you just you would
05:18:44Brian Atlasmove over to your preference of liberated woman right no okay well two things Nick pull up the umbrella thing then we'll I got to move it
05:18:56Brian Atlason so I guess this is the biblical biblical order of the family Christ husband wife children do you agree do you agree with this chart this is like
05:19:07Andrew Wilsonwhat's priority in your life or what do you mean so my explanation for this would be um that Christ and the adherence to Christ's word would be the top in the
05:19:19Andrew Wilsonhierarchy the family unit you and I would agree on that I would 100% agree on that the next would come that the representation of Christ in a marriage is the man who is the head of the
05:19:30Andrew Wilsonmarriage oh so that was like who's in order of like power yeah so so I'm just just to explain it though is that the woman represents the body of the church and the man head and so the man is representing the head of Christ yeah he
05:19:43Andrew Wilsonthat's his representation role in the marriage and then the woman is representing the body of Christ yeah right and so then the woman's direct responsibility is the children and the husband husband's responsibility is
05:19:53Andrew WilsonFlagship decision maker for all of that MH right yeah okay so then no disagreement no so then put that chart back up do you ever need to justify uh
05:20:04Andrew Wilsonor does the top of that list the Christ head ever need to justify [ __ ] to you no because he's perfect okay it never needs to justify anything to you ever right
05:20:16Andrew WilsonChrist yeah the top of that absolutely not no okay what comes next husband okay now explain to me what husband does have
05:20:27Brian Atlasto Gracie why you dissing Riley after two years bro is innocent he ain't do nothing also Natalie do you need some food ain't no way this 40-year-old bum with gray hair talking to these girls
05:20:37NatalieBrian a blank for real okay wait now why do you need I don't get that I don't get my part but oh wow okay hey that's the I've gotten that
05:20:50Nataliejoke a lot Natalie hu too oh my last name's but people must pronounce it Hawk they spent their own money on that I know that's I was thinking I was like friends
05:21:02Andrew Wilson$2 okay cool anyway what were we talking about on the on the husband head why does he
05:21:11Nataliehave to justify to you again because I think I again not saying he has to but I think it would be very respectful and kind well I mean it be I agree it would be nice of him it would be nice and I
05:21:23Brian Atlasthink someone that I would want to marry you're advocating that they need to not necessarily okay yeah that was it yeah okay uh let's do the dating app reviews let's start with uh let me read
05:21:35Brian Atlasthis actually I got to read two chats she already had a chance of submitting to a man he wanted her to dress modestly and remove provocative photos off her Instagram she chose to call him insecure instead egalitarian [ __ ] I never
05:21:47Brian Atlascalled him insecure for not wanting what I was wearing I was also not I was not girlfriend and boyfriend with him I would submit to a man if he's if we girlf a guy pay on the first date yeah so why do you have an expectation that a man fall into his traditional gender
05:22:00Brian Atlasroles immediately first date but if he's starting to have these expectations of you on your end you have OB when you when you submit to a man it should be someone that you trust and you know is
05:22:13Andrew Wilsonso why should you pay for a girl on a first St well that that actually avoids his question though the the question is if the expectation is that he falls into a traditional gender role that's the
05:22:25Andrew Wilsonexpectation from your end why shouldn't his expectation be immediately on the first date you also do because we have no sense of loyalty to oh wait you're saying like why wouldn't I submit to him
05:22:38Andrew Wilsoninitially no if your expectation I'm not asking for commitment submission but if the expectation of gender role is from their perspective chrisan like your own then they would expect that you not
05:22:49Nataliedress provocatively etc etc right so after talking to a guy for like a week I'm just supposed to delete every single thing I only if your expectation is that he falls into a traditional gender role so you're saying that a traditional
05:23:01Andrew Wilsongender role for women would be that they don't have these things posted or that's what I'm kind of confused I mean probably not but but even if we were to grant that they did just the dressing
05:23:13Andrew Wilsonprovocatively in this kind of thing if they said okay well my preferences for you not to do that even on the first date if your expectations is that they pay that seems fair that seems like the
05:23:23Andrew Wilsonexpectation of gender role is at that point complete right that he expects me to dress more modestly sure if your expectation is that he [ __ ] pays for everything I'm not
05:23:35Nataliesaying he pays for everything well what what is he what do you pay for for on a date I wouldn't be offended if he asked to split or anything I mean oh man you just went you just went real modern you just went real modern sudden okay no no
05:23:48Natalieno here's here's the thing I wouldn't be like if he was like having trouble with money or whatever it is like maybe let's not go out maybe let's go somewhere else like I I'm open to things but what I was
05:24:00KwanI just don't see how that correlates to like I just because of the expectation of the of the gender role I would like to hear oh I probably wouldn't be able explain it better than he I mean it's just like if you're expecting him to pay on the first day and do all the things that a man is supposed to do he's
05:24:13Nataliesupposed to just automatically just do it why can't you just automatically do what you're supposed to do as a woman is what he's saying so you're saying as a woman I'm supposed to dress more more automatically like if he expects you Dr
05:24:24Andrew Wilsonmore modesty kind of lost wouldn't be an automatic submission because when the in the idea of marriage because marriage is a Sacrament it's not just a you know
05:24:35Andrew Wilsonfrom the Christian world it's sacramental so no you're not going to do a sacramental marriage with a guy in the first day but if the expectation is that you follow a more traditional female gender role then shouldn't you be I
05:24:47Andrew Wilsondon't know a bit more Meek let him not only lead on the date but kind of um you know in this way also not dress as provocatively like those would be all the kind of typical traditional kind of
05:24:59Brian Atlasconfused on the date I wasn't dressed provocatively and I wasn't AC posting no but I mean you that's your view if his determination in his mind if he deems it
05:25:10Brian Atlasto be provocative but on on I mean do you think your bikini photos are provocative I wasn't posting that no okay no know just answer that question though you probably don't think they're provocative right not really no right so
05:25:22Brian Atlasyour sense of what just by I know you posted those after your date but your own sense of what is provocative and what is not provocative does not compute with what he finds right so he would
05:25:34Brian Atlasprobably say that is provocative to post bikini thirst trap I mean that's fair and he's looking for different things than I was and that's why I didn't right but if you're going to be submissive your idea of what is provocative or not provocative is
05:25:47Brian Atlasirrelevant I agree but I will only be submissive when I'm in a committed relationship with someone was here's a question let's say you are in a committed relationship and the man says
05:25:57Brian AtlasI find these photos to be provocative and you just ideal you in your head you're like no way that's not provocative I 100% disagree I don't view it as provocative at all will you be
05:26:09Brian Atlassubmissives to him even though you disagree with his assessment of the uh provocativeness I think at a point where I'm in a like committed relationship like that probably won't be when I'm
05:26:20Brian Atlasthis age and like all I don't think I would that in the first place you didn't answer the question so let's try again so you have photos posted to your Instagram you don't take them down you don't think they're provocative he does
05:26:34Brian Atlasif it's something that really upsets him yeah I would take him down no it doesn't even upset him that much he just doesn't want want you to have them up sure if he's uncomfortable with it I would take it down would you fight him on it because you have a difference of view when it comes to it's something if I really respect him and want to be
05:26:48Nataliesubmissive to this guy and I really trust him and I think that he's a faith-based man of God then if he said that he's uncomfortable with it or whatever I would take it down
05:26:58Brian Atlasokay did you want me to have a different answer no no um I'm still confused though about like you had objections to him having these comments I mean you kind of already just went over it but
05:27:11Brian Atlasyou'd want a guy to pay for the first date do all these things etc etc you expect that immediately but you took issue with him kind of trying to put in a boundary there when it came to
05:27:23Natalieyour it wasn't I think where we're having like differing here is that it wasn't said in a like this is something that I makes me uncomfortable or whatever like it was more of a like okay
05:27:35Andrew Wilsonbasically you're a [ __ ] fair enough um you know what I mean it wasn't like a conversation it was just you're sl okay then why are you want to date with me I would I would like to note though before Brian moves it on just this this one
05:27:46Andrew Wilsonlast thing yeah when we're talking about submission from a religious Christian sense would you agree with me that the reason that this is in place
05:27:55Andrew Wilsonspecifically is so that if decisions are made that you don't like even with or without you know your consent essentially that the per purpose of this
05:28:06TTS/Donationsis to say it doesn't matter because ultimately you're putting your trust Ulus is the Pagan donated $200 blondie just admit that you're a
05:28:18TTS/Donationscloset feminist and brain home was him saying [ __ ] I am not a feminist thank you Pagan know go ahead oh I was just saying
05:28:28Andrew Wilsonthat the purpose of this for why you almost it's blind submission in a way to your husband yeah that specifically it's so that when these big decisions do come up that you may fight him tooth the nail
05:28:41Andrew Wilsonon because you can be such an influence on his decision making um that the reason that you really shouldn't question the decision- making much is because it actually hampers his ability
05:28:51Natalieto lead properly I agree with that and I was talking about this with literally my parents the other day my mom would have said that two buding heads and that that didn't work but if you agree that's why
05:29:02Andrew WilsonI would say if it's but hang on but if you agree with that yeah then even by the standard of how you view reason it does actually comport with reason for him to make decisions and not discuss
05:29:15Brian Atlasthem with you sure I've never I've never looked at it that way but yeah right sure yeah yeah okay yeah all right really quick uh we have some supers to read but first uh Nick could you pull up actually
05:29:26Brian Atlasuh just go to Twitch guys twitch.tv/ whatever drops a follow and a prime sub if you have on twitch.tv SL Whatever by the way it
05:29:35Brian Atlaslooks like the Cru us did she oh in the YouTube chat oh awesome I don't know if that was Rachel or somebody else yeah that was uh that was Rachel oh awesome thank you Rachel appreciate it good to
05:29:46Brian Atlassee you guys in the chat Crucible crew guys twitch.tv/ whatever if you can get that pulled up guys if you're watching on Twitch drop us a follow if you're watching on YouTube drop us a follow open up on Tab also drop us a prime sub
05:29:57Brian Atlasif you have one drop us a prime sub if you have one it's been an hour since we last had one I think it's bugged help help yeah um and then uh
05:30:10Brian Atlascool and then I need to oh no no no no hold on I I no time okay Maddie can you read these sure thank you Andrew for fighting against
05:30:22Madison (Maddie)their brainwashing these women don't even realize the extent of it starting from Sesame Street on humans making babies are bad humans that don't are
05:30:32Andrew Wilsonsmart actually LOL Paladin he makes a good point against the kind of anti natalist mindset which has gripped Society you know Lil paladins you you're a really uh good contributor to the show
05:30:44Madison (Maddie)too I appreciate that man it's very kind to you yeah thank you man and then he has another one question for Brian how many male comments does she get on her Instagram
05:30:55Madison (Maddie)versus how many women comment on her sexy photos who is really validating her can I answer this yeah uh zero Men actually comment on that if you want to go look at the
05:31:06Nataliepost it's usually just all my girlfriend so yeah there's usually no mail comments but you can check it if you
05:31:16Madison (Maddie)want okay all right um we have lol paladins again hey thank you man I appreciate it she already had a chance of submitting to a man he wanted her to dress modestly and remove
05:31:28Madison (Maddie)provocative photos of her Instagram she chose to call him insecure instead egalitarian B we already read that that one and also the insecure was separate from the dressing mon you already you
05:31:40Brian Atlasalready explained even okay uh let me get into more of the notes here or we had the dating apps but uh from one was from yellow and or who were the dating apps
05:31:50Brian Atlasfrom okay just pull them up we'll do those quick huh the B the bow video uh we could do the bow but let's do the dating app first
05:32:00Brian Atlasokay all right all right this is you check these right they're they're fine uh
05:32:13Brian Atlasyeah okay best travel story dance off with a crackhead of the Pirate Bar in Tampa okay next
05:32:23Brian Atlasoh 26 micro celebrity you're you're a micro celebrity yeah known by many but
05:32:30Brian Atlasnot by most okay cool next jack off all trades jack off a joke yeah green flags I look
05:32:43Brian Atlasfor okay my simple pleasure having a full pack of dude wipes okay nice next or is that it what what the [ __ ] is a dude WIP
05:32:53Brian Atlasum it's like a wet wipe but for dudes whatever oh wait say pencil but replace the sill with is relax liberals it's hard dark humor okay all right um wait liberal are
05:33:07Natalieyou voting Trum no I'm not man I thought there was hope could all the people ask this table that was there a
05:33:17Brian Atlasquestion okay what was the next dating app next dating app I don't I'm not even registered to vote yet okay it wasn't okay um let's have let's have you read
05:33:28Courtney / Rihannathe prompts okay um so there's a picture me and then it says a life goal of mine travel to all the national parks in a camper van and write my novels whilst doing so little smiley face
05:33:41Brian Atlasokay not political figuring out my da and goals monogamy by okay voting Trump um I don't know who I'm voting for probably not Trump I don't know I don't
05:33:52Courtney / Rihannaknow I don't really know a lot about politics next pictures of me uh I'll pick the top yeah is that
05:34:04Courtney / Rihannait you can read these okay it goes on the next picture it has the full thing the homework of a good relationship is growth mindset being aware of ego know how to apologize and
05:34:16Courtney / Rihannatake accountability humor laughter gratitude spontaneity some similar Hobbies some different Hobbies don't try to change the other person I don't know man that sounds like a lot of
05:34:26Courtney / Rihannawork damn okay cool um you really think you shouldn't try to change another person um change in terms of growth sure you guys are going to impact each other you're going
05:34:37Courtney / Rihannato grow being together that's what's going to happen but like not not change what I mean by that is like if I have been with someone and then my mental health and my personhood is actually getting worse because that's not the
05:34:49Andrew Wilsonright relationship with me like so instead of trying to like change someone to be different than who they are you know what I'm saying like yeah but I think I think the idea of self and who you are you probably agree with this is
05:35:01Andrew Wilsonpretty wide right there's a lot of variables that make you you mhm so I would say like a person who has no ambition who wakes up with ambition is a different person right wouldn't you yes
05:35:13Andrew Wilsonyeah so that would be positive change in a relationship yeah so but it's change yeah but couldn't you run into this problem when you say positive change right of trying to give them positive change when it's not actually positive
05:35:26Courtney / Rihannaoh that that can definitely happen yeah so when you say don't try to change each other you don't really mean don't try to change each other yeah you're right I should change that CU that's not what I mean yeah okay it makes sense it's good point
05:35:42Brian Atlasokay um let's see going back to some of the notes here actually no why don't we do the B video really quick was that it for the dating app stuff yeah
05:35:52Brian Atlasokay all right yeah go ahead this is I think this is a good example we hold on stop start from the beginning they weren't paying attention go
05:36:03Brian Atlasahead go ahead boom boom huge bow this is I think this is uh this would be like pretty submissive I think like pretty
05:36:15Brian Atlassubmissive you know all right you know just dinner's ready come home from a long day at the
05:36:25Brian Atlaspodcast opening the beer for me stirring the noodles it's like great boom good technique okay boom and then one more
05:36:36Brian Atlastime let's see the One More Time Boom huge bow so um just curious for you I guess anybody else here think like they would be submissive they want
05:36:49Brian Atlasto be submissive to boyfriend supposed to raise my hand again yeah um would you if your husband wanted you to Bow would
05:36:57Natalieyou do it I mean I mean if he that's really what he likes sure yeah I I don't see the point in the Bowing but he just was like he saw that video from my
05:37:09Brian Atlaspodcast he's like oh that'd be cool if like my girlfriend or wife did that would you do it I would laugh and do it but yeah you'd laugh and do it cuz I think it's kind of funny yeah oh okay but You' do it I mean sure so going
05:37:20Graciearound the table I see no harm in it yeah they were going to karate yeah exactly Gracie I don't think I would maybe laugh about it I would want to
05:37:30Gracieunderstand why he would want to be bowed to first he just wants it he wants to explain I mean laugh just do it it like Namaste you but you wouldn't do it I would laugh and do
05:37:42Brian Atlasit after think about but what if he was like I want you to do this every time if you're just at home like and he comes home from work every time he comes home from work I wouldn't do that you wouldn't do that no I wouldn't but you
05:37:54Brian Atlaswant to you want you want to get married right yes here before I get into that I'll have every Everybody answer would you do that I think so you think so yeah based based Austrian
05:38:09Brian Atlasuh it have to be the right person otherwise no okay what you do it no okay all right she would ask him to Bow all right wait so so going back to you Gracie um you want
05:38:22Brian Atlasto get married yes I do would you want a man to get down on one knee to do it to propose how much would you want him to spend on the ring I don't really care about that you'd be fine with like a a cubic
05:38:34Brian Atlaszironia like a $20 yeah I honestly think that some you'd be fine with why would you be fine with a CZ yeah genu so your whole friend group all their husbands spent thousands of dollars on a ring and
05:38:46Brian Atlasyou get a $20 CZ well honestly I would probably be marrying somebody who is hardworking enough to be able to afford a nicer ring sure he could AF well okay
05:38:56Brian Atlasfor example I could afford a $7,000 stake I'm not spending $77,000 on a steak mhm I I couldn't afford $7,000 yeah you could Andrew you're doing okay so not that good yeah but my husband
05:39:09Brian Atlaswould want to spend something on me I'd assume right but so you would be dissatisfied if he did not spend a sufficient amount of money on the ring
05:39:19Brian Atlascorrect maybe I would be so you would yeah I would be so then wait to be clear you want a man to get down looking up at you get down on one knee mhm kneel in
05:39:31Brian Atlasfront of you which I think is far more submissive missive then uh you're still standing you just hit a bow well yeah it's traditional to
05:39:44Gracieget down on one knee it's not traditional to bow in how I was raised it's not traditional to bow to a man that walks into a
05:39:53Brian Atlasroom okay so tradition aside what's it matter what do you mean well you can desire things that are not I mean we if
05:40:03Brian Atlaswe really can go into tra tradition like do you are you um I mean is the woman a virgin on her wedding night is the husband a virgin on his wedding night I mean we can have a conversation about what's traditional what's not