00:00:08Brian Atlaswelcome to the whatever dating Talk podcast where we try to make sense of the modern dating hellscape I'm your host Brian Atlas we are coming to you live from Santa Barbara California every Sunday and Tuesday at 5:00 P p.m.
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00:01:34Brian Atlasthe full shows we got the clips Channel link is in the description we have a Discord that's discord.gg whatever we post behind the scenes hate mail a bunch of other stuff I'm assuming that's not good to go okay go ahead pull it up all right guys we have behind the
00:01:47Brian Atlasscenes we got the wall of whatever we've got the whatever bingo card bingo card yep there it is and then we're also World of Warcraft pull that up I don't know I'm still on the fence uh if we do we're playing horde we're we're rolling
00:01:58Brian Atlason the PVP realm f ferocity they just announced the realm list today Andrew's going to be playing he's going to be playing a mage we're going to play horde I'm still on the fence with it I don't know with my schedule to you know maybe
00:02:09Brian AtlasI'll join like later in December we'll see but it we're going to try to make it happen so if you want it's discord.gg whatever we have a World of Warcraft tab send in your application and then what
00:02:20Brian Atlaselse uh yeah that's it okay the disclaimer the views expressed by the guests do not necessarily reflect the views of the whatever Channel with that said without Ado we're going to have the guests introduce themselves so please
00:02:33Calitell us your name age location and occupation go ahead hi I'm Callie I'm 26 I'm a fire performer and I'm also a mom and a personal trainer and I'm from
00:02:43CaliSouthern California okay what's a uh fire performer I perform with fire props for events like
00:02:54Caliparties um I've done it for like album release parties for musicians it really just depends I I still feel like I don't actually know what a what a what a fire
00:03:07Andrew Wilsonperformer you know fire you know fire breathing like people who breathe fire yeah you do that right yeah I do that in different props there's so many so yeah like in the circus like the F the guys
00:03:19Andrew Wilsonin the circus who blow oh that's how we met actually in the circus yeah that's how I got the human circus as opposed to the animal circus
00:03:29Brian Atlasyeah they don't combine they're not combined yeah I I J I thought it was oh okay huh so and you you also describe yourself as a professional hot girl
00:03:40CaliShape Shifter um what what does that mean um I mean I make a living off being a fire performer um people give me money
00:03:52Calibecause I'm entertaining and they want to look at me and watch me do fire so I'm a professional hot girl Shape Shifter What's a shape shifter I mean I wear wigs sometimes um you know just
00:04:03Calidepending on the vibe so I feel like you know women are shape shifters how so like we could change our looks whenever we want for funsies for for funsies yeah
00:04:15Brian Atlaslike do you mean trans stuff or like shape shifting I feel like they no oh I just mean like that would that would be shape-shifting that would
00:04:25Amelia Davisbe that's a good name for transgender person huh I prefer yeah I prefer Decepticon
00:04:37Brian AtlasDecepticon that's a good one okay all right um and then also what are your pron you put your pronouns in your IG so what are your pronouns she her what do you feel really quick uh and we'll get
00:04:48Brian Atlasto the rest of intros do you know AOC I don't know what that means oh uh Alexandria AIO Cortez she's a Democratic senator or she a representative the house of reps
00:05:01Brian Atlasyeah you don't know who that I don't follow politics oh she well she's a Democrat and she recently took her pronouns out of her twit twit twit X bio
00:05:12Caliand they would they were all angry people were very upset on that side I mean I'm definitely a CIS woman I'm a woman born a woman in a woman's body okay for the record pronouns too my my
00:05:23Bridgetpronouns are we us dope okay what about you hi I'm Bridget Machado I'm 20 years old I'm from Southern in California I'm a full-time student and I go to coine Community College studying Public Health Science okay going back to you really
00:05:36Amelia Davisquick uh any schooling high school college no okay all right what about you hello my name is Amelia Davis and I'm 23 years old I
00:05:47Amelia Davisconsider myself an entrepreneur I'm also a model a jeweler and currently I'm studying to become an RN I'm a certified ma as well M and yeah right now I'm just
00:05:57Amelia Davisliving in La I moved there from Orange County and I'm originally from Mexico what's the nature of your entrepreneurship um the nature is basically I do everything it come to like um owning my own business as a
00:06:09Andrew Wilsonjeweler and okay in the um entertainment industry as a model and yeah anything I can do I'll do when you when you say you're a jeweler um I I am passingly
00:06:20Andrew Wilsonfamiliar with the uh craft of jewelry making I have a friend of mine who did it for many years do you actually make jewelry or do you just sell it so we Source natural gems and diamonds to
00:06:31Amelia Davisjewelry stores that already established so they go ahead and use my gemstones that are GIA certified and as well as a personal Jeweler if you want something custom like a Cuban Link or like a chain
00:06:42Amelia Daviswith um certain um I guess I'm askings personally do you personally like oh no my business partner my business partner is the one who who makes the jewelry but I the one who is the owner of the
00:06:53Amelia Davisbusiness I see okay thank you all right and school oh yes I go to back and I'm studying to become an RN hopefully I can transfer UCI after that you you don't
00:07:05Gina Pradahave your Bachelors yet not yet but I will got it all right what about you hello everyone my name is Gina Prada I'm a certified personal trainer and I'm 21 all right welcome uh school any school
00:07:17Gina Pradayeah um I went to International Sports Science Association and you got your Bachelor or what no I just got certified for training so I'm currently going to go back into school probably for nursing but I'm still weighting on my options cuz I don't really know like if if I
00:07:29Emilywant to go into nursing so I'm still getting all my income from just training right now okay all right what about you my name is Emily I'm 22 years old from Orange County I'm a bud tender but also
00:07:41Emilya singer songwriter and I just graduated from Long Beach State with a bachelor's in psychology in Psychology okay all right and what do you do you know what you want to do with that or yeah so I'm
00:07:53Emilyplanning to get my Masters or certifications to pursue psychedelic assisted psychotherapy so like uh what is it Kine or whatever that thingy MDMA yeah all the above all
00:08:04Emilyright and you're singer singer songwriter yeah so I'm all about healing whether it's through music or like spirituality or through medicine I am let's hear
00:08:15Andrew Wilsonsomething here what hang on hang on hang on can you add the words for me before you saying can you add the word Journey somewhere in whatever you saying Journey like healing Journey healing Journey
00:08:26Emilyyeah you want me to Freestyle right now I was expecting song requests do you know a song with the word journey in It Journey yeah did you sing Journey you know the the band Journey Don't Stop
00:08:38Emilybelieve it is that sound right that's that's the only journey I know love Steve yeah I won't sing none of my music right now but if you want to
00:08:49Emilycheck that out you do you write any of your own music I write all my own music okay let's hear something okay
00:08:57Emilyum always acting like this the last time but you always change my mind just one
00:09:05Emilylast time go through it all again don't want this [ __ ] to
00:09:14Catalinaend on relationship there you have it baby girl I'm Healed I'm Healed what about you oh hi my name is
00:09:24CatalinaCatalina I'm 28 years old I am from Los Angeles California currently of a month I own three different companies I
00:09:35Catalinaown a event company called Divergent events I own a photography company so I do photography and I'm a porn producer uh when you say Divergent so
00:09:46Catalinayou're you own an event company that's called Divergent events in which way are your events Divergent um so I like to think that my events completely
00:09:56Catalinadifferent than a lot of events so I basically a third party that gets a I would say an a venue for the girls to work with photographers in a safe space
00:10:07Catalinawhere they don't feel like they're taking advantage of and they can grow in their field of work is as being a model and actress I've definitely been taken
00:10:17Catalinaadvantage of and is this you primarily work with uh people in the adult industry or um not at this moment but
00:10:26CatalinaI'm I have created a couple pornos like produce them like and you're in them correct no no no I'm not in them I hired you're a pornographer i well I'm direct
00:10:38Catalinathe films oh but you you're not you you have an only fans correct I don't even use it I just put it up there just for the views I don't even I post what I have on Instagram on there it's not like okay nothing really provocative but you
00:10:51Catalinahave distributed nude photographs of yourself on the Internet is that correct uh I guess so yeah yeah okay I I I used to be porn star okay oh you used to be a porn star yeah about 5 years ago
00:11:03Catalinaso you were working in the like traditional uh porn industry yeah I've been in every industry you can think of I'm in main films I'm in the goat milk industry mil wait I'm so confused what
00:11:17Catalinadoes that mean you said you've been in like every single industry so I don't know just like entertainment industry oh entertainment so except for the music except for the music except for the music industry I don't have like I'm I don't think I have music talented going on there
00:11:30Brian Atlasum so just the mainstream movie indry uh when you were doing the adult content like 5 years ago or whatever what was the I guess nature of the Productions you were in was it solo content BG content like yeah BG like pery City
00:11:41CatalinaNaughty America like simple um have you like org stuff no nothing crazy three SS I only did like maybe like six films maybe six total okay so I never really got it and then I switched over into the mainstream industry so how many BG
00:11:55Catalinascenes did you do they mostly put me in like deep tting stuff like not BG [ __ ] that would still be BG isn't
00:12:06Catalinathat when a guy puts his penis in a woman well boy girl BG boy girl okay yeah yeah no you're right unless it's like no I'm not I'm straight [ __ ] I'm
00:12:16Brian Atlasnot about the yeah yeah um so you did a couple BG scenes with with men yeah okay yeah yeah all right uh what about you I'm Tanya I'm 38 and I'm from New York
00:12:27Brian Atlasand I am a teacher ESL teacher English as a second language all right cool um school any school bachelor's degree in business all right and then any
00:12:39Catalinaschooling for you um no no I'm pretty successful without all that okay you didn't go to college at all okay no actually I have like a I have a couple semesters and I never really went back
00:12:49Deborah Laeiaall right uh Deborah what about you hi good to be back Brian welcome welcome back hey I'm debor Leia I'm from New York City I'm 24 years old and I have a bachelor's degree in government and politics and my full-time occupation is
00:13:03Brian Atlaspolitical influencing political commentary on the news all right welcome welcome and uh you were on one of our most viewed podcasts the gorlock episode that was like a year and a half ago so
00:13:14Deborah Laeiawelcome back welcome back uh less surprises this time we didn't find that out until three or four hours into the show what happened somebody put like a I was asking no that was different I also got zined on the show
00:13:27Brian Atlaslast time blame you but why blame me wasn't it uh it was Chase but you yelled at me for choking oh like de shut up why are you screaming I'm like help call the
00:13:38Deborah Laeiapolice yeah you uh anyways whatever uh so okay uh we clear cups this time so I'm watching you clear cups you no one around me well I didn't chase I don't
00:13:49Brian Atlasknow must have put his like spit out his thing and then you took a sip of happened to me before and you stole his cup sto spit it into my cup you stole
00:13:58Deborah Laeiahis cup thinking it was c yeah blame the woman blame the woman that's my job um the a nicotine patch that people keep in their mouth and suck on like wait was
00:14:11Deborah Laeiait actually a Zin or was it like a fullblown toac you're luy it was chew that some spit in my cup at first like guys there's something thick oh no and it was um a really traumatic experience
00:14:23Andrew WilsonI'm impressed I'm even back here today dramatic you haven't lived until you've been at a party and you've been drunk and you reached over and grabbed somebody's choose p cup by accident a
00:14:33Amelia Davisswig like what do you mean it's uh or that's what happened to me put like cigarette in their can in my Coke and I like almost like drink out of it until I I felt the butt on my lip I was like oh
00:14:44Andrew Wilsonmy God this is not it watch your cups everybody we need the cup protectors all right um so anyways uh Andrew what about you yeah my name is Andrew Wilson I'm
00:14:56Andrew Wilsonthe host of The Crucible it's a popular entertainment Channel on YouTube I'm a political analyst political sist I enjoy doing conversations debates of all types and um glad to have this conversation
00:15:07Brian Atlaswith your girls today all right uh so going around the table once more what is everybody's current relationship status so are you single talking stage
00:15:20Calisituationship married whatever it is if you're single how long have you been single and what's the longest relationship you've ever been in go ahead I'm in the process of getting div
00:15:29Calidived um that was my longest relationship 5 years um yeah single uh so how long have you guys been
00:15:42Caliseparated 4 months all right have you dated since then um I've talked to a couple people
00:15:52Calium but I mean nothing really profound feel like I'm more interested in getting divorced before I'm ready to go into another relationship was it an
00:16:03Andrew Wilsonopen marriage we were polyamorous mhm so under that blanket who um who wanted the polyamorous aspect of the relationship
00:16:14Caliand did it start that way um so I was the one that petitioned for polyamory um it didn't start that way um but prior to that um my previous two
00:16:26Calirelationships were polyamorous relationships um when we got together it was shortly after I had been sexually assaulted by a man so I wasn't in a position to be with
00:16:36Calireally more than one person um but with a lot of therapy and help um I remembered who I was and also I'm Queer as [ __ ] so wait Queer as [ __ ] as [ __ ] as
00:16:49Cali[ __ ] okay what's the difference between queer and then Queer As [ __ ] um I would say I lean more towards being queer than like towards men what's the difference
00:17:01Calibetween polyamorous and an open relationship I mean they're essentially the same thing an open relationship is you know you have other romantic and
00:17:11Calisexual partners um polymerus say you actually are having other relationships so it's like a defined relationship like boyfriend girlfriend partner um and you love them so it's more than just like
00:17:23Brian Atlassexual were you sleeping with were you sleeping with other men as well as women though yes yeah yeah okay okay so during the course of your marriage you were
00:17:32Brian Atlassleeping with other people your part your boy husb husband he was also sleeping with other people okay um but you asked to open it up was there any
00:17:43Calipush back initially or um I mean initially yes because he was asking you know kind of like how did this come about and you know when I
00:17:54Caliexplained like well this is who I was he said well I thought that when we got got together it was just going to be us but um ultimately like he wanted it to um
00:18:05Andrew Wilsonand he wanted to experience different people so um I was all for it well if I'm I'm just curious um so if if he wanted it then how come you were the one
00:18:17Caliwho brought it up well I mean everything is just a conversation right a conversation for discussion so if something's not happening and it's like well what would this be like
00:18:29Calior you know like I'm sure you ask your partner a million questions in a day like what do you think about this so yeah um also because I am queer I mean I wanted to be with women and he isn't
00:18:42Andrew Wilsonyeah but you were also with other men right yes yeah so I mean that's that's usually a sticking point for men uh generally speaking I think on the polyamorous front I've talked to some
00:18:53Andrew Wilsonmen who if their you know their girl or wife or whatever is exclusively with other women they seem to not mind that nearly as much as if they're with other men that seems to be the like big
00:19:05Calisticking point right so I don't I was I was just curious I mean I think it's fair if you're you know in an open relationship
00:19:15Calior polyamorous if you should be allowed to pursue 100% of people that you find attractive you know and then obviously if someone agrees you know to parameters and boundaries in that that's fine as
00:19:27Andrew Wilsonlong as it's ethical um we just agreed that it was fine so I just have one more brief question I'll turn it back over to Brian um just wondering your take what
00:19:37Caliis the purpose of getting married if you want to be in a polyamorous relationship um I mean we had a daughter we have a daughter um you know I wanted
00:19:49Andrew Wilsona family but um I also wanted to continue to be with women and um I have a lot of love to give well wait wait and Men right I don't know like it it seems like there's such a pivot here he's just
00:20:02Andrew Wilsonlike I just want to be with other women it's like but no no men right yeah I guess I should say other people yeah other people okay that makes more sense
00:20:11Andrew Wilsonso um so yeah I'm not like if you if the purpose was family right the idea here is you wanted to have a family uh I don't see why you couldn't do that same
00:20:22Caliexact thing that you were doing absent the marriage um I mean I've just never never been in a long-term monogamous relationship personally so I mean no shame to people that want to do that I
00:20:36Calithink whatever floats your boat whatever makes you happy um we just agreed that you know that was the relationship structure of our marriage and it was ethical and we were okay with it so yeah
00:20:47Andrew Wilsonno I I understand all that I'm just I'm just curious as to what the actual purpose of the marriage part is like so you could do all of that absent marriage right like you could still have the daughter you can still have the guy you
00:20:58Andrew Wilsoncan still have the you know you can do all that minus so I don't actually understand the purpose of the marriage
00:21:06Catalinaaspect um I mean we wanted to be married so think gotri the the license part of it like having a business with your partner basically when you get married
00:21:17Caliit's like a business or a license you're signing away yeah I mean um well he proposed to you right yeah so like you weren't pushing for marriage he W he just proposed out the no I mean we we
00:21:29Calitalked about it we talked about you know wanting to get married um and you know having children and these things so I think also for me I see now in retrospect I feel like I was just
00:21:41Califollowing a relationship escalator you know society says this is what a relationship is you meet someone and you guys fall in love and then you get engaged and then you get the house and then you get the dogs and then you get
00:21:51Brian Atlasthe baby and then you're married you know were you Paulie before you got married with this guy yeah yes couple questions here okay so let's do a bit of a timeline you guys were
00:22:03Brian Atlasmarried for how long um three years and together for five yes total okay so you met him it's
00:22:12Brian Atlasstarted out monogamous is that correct correct okay how soon into the Rel uh relationship did you want to open it up I would say after a year after one year
00:22:24Brian Atlasso this is prior to you guys being married correct okay and uh huh cuz you said this is who I've always been did you had you not disclosed to him during
00:22:37Calithe like that you were pully no I mean I disclosed it I mean you just asked if there was any push back and I I expressed you know there was just I
00:22:48Caliguess some confusion on his end why why did you accept monogamy to begin with I mean you that's what happened right I mean it wasn't me accepting it I think you know you just see someone you like
00:22:59Calithem you guys continue seeing each other I'm not really sure what's so crazy about that it's not like well you how long was it exclusive for you said a year mhm but you're polyamor why did you
00:23:11CaliI explained I was sexually assaulted by a man prior to meeting him so I had to go to a lot of therapy for that oh he was like he was
00:23:20Andrew Wilsonlike a stable safe place for you I loved him yeah well I mean I I understand that but yeah he he help that there was like this this prior event that happened
00:23:32Andrew Wilsonwhich obviously is horrible right sorry that that happened to you but um but but is were you looking at this guy as kind of a rock right or something that was very stable uh because this event
00:23:43Calibecause you seem to tie these two events together well no you guys keep asking me specifically like you know why did you decide after a year so I explained I had
00:23:55Calito go to therapy you know I had to work on myself I had to become confident again find my voice do all these things and then you know remembered who I was the do you think that the therapy
00:24:06Andrew Wilsonassisted in your decision to move to a polyamorous relationship in your marriage no my therapy didn't decide that no not decided did did it assist
00:24:18Andrew Wilsonbecause you said you were using the therapy to find yourself and get back into who you are this kind of thing so did the therapy actually assist you into the self-discovery aspect that you are
00:24:30Brian Atlasindeed polyamorist yes okay I see but you have been in uh polyamorous relationships before
00:24:41Brian Atlasright yes okay but we just have audio people listening just audio so if you just shake your head so you can conf you just got to say yes no whatever um all
00:24:52Bridgetright so what about you I've only been in one relationship and it's been for 5 years we're still going very strong all right is it your only
00:25:01Amelia Davisrelationship or yes okay relationship 5 years all right what about you well I just broke up with my ex-boyfriend I was with them since I was 17 years old we
00:25:12Amelia Daviswere together consistently for 4 years I broke up with him I turned 21 cuz he was like very toxic very controlling and so I took a year um off and he flew out a
00:25:22Amelia Davisgirl from Oregon and started living with her and um then he started trying to talk to me again to get back back together while the girl was still living at his house and I had no idea I thought he was just were going to get back
00:25:34Amelia Davistogether and so anyways they end up breaking up and I end up coming back to his house and living with him and starting over again and then I just broke up with him recently again at 23 CU how long was the break the break was
00:25:45Amelia Davisa year one year okay one year who uh who wanted the break I wanted the Break um he kind of cut my hair um yeah when I was sleeping and so what yeah no we need more details on that's not something you
00:25:59Amelia Davisjust what do you mean he cut your hair yeah so what happened like he had very bad mental health issues and very controlling very cuz nobody just freaking cut somebody hair no and I've been nothing but get to him he was my first relationship since I was 17 years
00:26:10Amelia Davisold and before that my parents never let me date so I was just like perfectly pure innocent and I wanted a serious relationship and so I was like the third girl that he had like moved in with he
00:26:21Amelia Daviswas 20 years old at the time and I was 17 2 months before I turned 18 so not that weird and also like older guys too so yeah everything was good and fast
00:26:31Amelia Davisforward um when the during the break he when he was living with the girl I was um trying to move on cuz my man's with somebody else you know moving on so I
00:26:42Amelia Davisdownloaded hinge started talking the guys flirting on Snapchat sending like like cute like like pictures and stuff like that you know and so I didn't think
00:26:52Amelia Davisabout deleting any of my old previous like like guys I was talking to on and so so one day we went out to the bar while we're like still trying to talk and get back together we didn't fire anything it was amazing we went back
00:27:04Amelia Davishome he invited friends over and I just got completely blacked out drunk cuz I felt I felt safe with him it was like my safe place since I was 17 years old so I go upstairs I passed out my hair was so long at the time and he somehow got into
00:27:16Amelia Davismy phone when I was sleeping and he was on drugs like not drug like blow or whatever and drinking alcohol and so he was blacked out and he got into my phone and like saw all my previous messages
00:27:27Amelia Davisthat I was talking to when he was dating that girl and somehow he got really jealous and enraged that I was doing that when he was it it it makes no sense it's like as I'm saying mental illness and so he decided to cut my hair when I
00:27:39Amelia Daviswas passed out blacked out drunk how much did he cut he gave me like a little mullet I have like a picture of my phone he like cut the top layer he gave you a mullet kind of like a mullet he let me like the long my long hair down and like
00:27:50Amelia Davisthe top layer of my hair just like Jagged it up that's awesome and yes I was I did nothing I did nothing to this man I've been nothing but loyal to this man bought him
00:28:02Amelia Davisum a phone clothes helped him um I was his mechanic monkey cuz he like old cars mechanic it's always the charity always the charity cases no but this his dad owns Urban construction
00:28:13Amelia Daviscompany and his dad has two Yachts a plane he's like born and raised in LEL like rich boy can I name put like add his name cuz girls need to be careful okay never mind I won't get into that
00:28:24Amelia Davisbut anyways yeah I I just been through the I've been through the ringer with this with this man he was the love of my life first man I've ever loved and hang on one second one second so I mean you say
00:28:37Amelia Davisyou're nothing but loyal but I mean you dumped the guy right yeah because he was controlling and and like holding me back and wouldn't let me be who I needed who I knew I needed to be in my life well I mean but that doesn't sound like nothing
00:28:47Deborah Laeiabut loyal wait me or him bro Andrew hold on are you really defending somebody who cut somebody's hair off in her sleep he cut her hair this was before he cut the
00:28:58Andrew Wilsonhair though so wait well I'm confused now the second time yeah the second time we broke up and we got back together the second time I get it I get it what I'm saying though is that before this
00:29:11Andrew Wilsonhappened before all this happened you said well I was nothing I'm nothing but loyal this and that it's like well stand by that hang on hang on that it's not re me if you dumped him that's not nothing but loyal yeah I can't be with the man who cut my hair I don't want to brag to
00:29:23Amelia Davismy kids like oh yeah your dad back in our 20s cut my hair didn't you dump him before he cut your hair yes because he was controlling and toxic I was trying to give him another chance I believe in second chances so okay but hang hang on
00:29:34Andrew Wilsonhang on let's back up let's back up I don't understand how you can say though uh well I can't be with someone who cut my hair it's like what you dumped him before you he cut your hair I don't I wait Andrew I got let me just look this
00:29:46Brian Atlasis very rare for me to Andrew are you saying that if you break up with somebody airo you are not loyal like there's no seriously I'm just trying to understand the position date someone forever to be loyal to them well hang on hang on on what I I don't
00:29:59Andrew Wilsonunderstand what does loyalty mean not Che on people you're Loy chill chill chill out just calmay around with other other people only hear one person at a time I can only hear one person at a
00:30:10Amelia Davistime go ahead for me being loyal is you and your partner are two team deal you're not bringing any third person you're um loyal to each other love each
00:30:20Amelia Davisother and respect each other and you're not looking for other people's um to sleep around with is that loyalty girls yeah it's true okay so that's like so
00:30:31Andrew Wilsonyou're say okay so he not talking to other people like not he was cheating on you before you dumped him no he wasn't I've never got Che on I I still don't understand like if the idea here is he
00:30:42Andrew Wilsonwas controlling abusive he was mentally physically verbally hang on I get all that I understand but what what was he doing which was abusive what's Abus what
00:30:53Amelia Davisdoes that mean um mentally like Tearing Me Down um verbally abusing me and physically like what's an example of that dumb [ __ ] for no reason like and telling me
00:31:06Amelia DavisI'm like not going to amount to anything in life and just like you know trying to tear me down as a person saying he's the best thing I can get when it's not true and um I want to know why you went
00:31:17Amelia Davisback because he was my first love that but the way he's treating you is no I know but a lot of a lot of people girls get beat up black and blue and still stay with their man don't go back it was my my mistake I'm not going back a third time you learned I'm learning I learned
00:31:30Deborah Laeianot no maybe took me him cutting my hair I had to learn the hard way I think there's something like domestic violence survivors go back seven or eight times before they either leave or get killed
00:31:41Amelia Davisby their person so yeah I think good that you got out now and your hair looks great and hope keep going you know yeah no it was very traumatic for me cuz I did love the guy he was and I was planning on marrying
00:31:54Amelia Davishim and I were talking about forever and to settle with somebody and be with forever like you have to be okay with everything you know like you don't want to find anybody else you're just okay with that person and that's how I felt with him but then after the year six
00:32:06Amelia Davisyears and everything he's been doing to me I was like I can't be with somebody like that you should put n in his shampoo and make him prematurely bald oh that's a good idea I should have probably shouldn't do that but now I'm
00:32:18Amelia Davissingle and like I said I wasted six years of my life not wasted it was experience and um now I'm trying to like get gain those six years back and just focus on myself somebody comes along that meets all my requirements because
00:32:29Amelia DavisI'm very picky very selective yeah when's the last time you talked to him um last time I talked to him was like um we blocked each other on everything okay you've been you've been single for how
00:32:40Amelia Davislong for well actually I spoken with like recently so like September when I left his house for good so two months two months ago I moved to LA when's the last time you talked to him um during
00:32:52Brian Atlasthat time you haven't talked to him for 2 months mhm okay last time you saw him in person two months ago too his house when I and so the total length of the relationship was 6 years 6 years
00:33:03Amelia Davisincluding 2018 including the one-ear break is that correct so um from 2018 till I turned 21 that was four years consistently and then we had a one-ear break and then all together getting back
00:33:16Brian Atlastogether we've been with each other like six years like messing around and like talking so okay uh there's a lot there um a lot I'm a little rundown right now you broke up with him the so you broke up with him
00:33:29Amelia Davisthe first time yes and the second time okay and there was a year break but he didn't cheat on me U from me breaking up with him he was just like not a good guy and I thought I can like who went back
00:33:38Amelia Davisto who like did you reach back out to him we both played the um reaching back to each other first he would call me a no color ID and then I would ignore him and then I'll answer it and it was like playing Team tag calling cuz then he would call me every day then he would
00:33:51Amelia Davisstop calling me so I'd be like why aren't you calling me so then I would call him back and then finally we um started the girl left back to Oregon and yeah we started talking again cuz I do not want to be the other woman and I do
00:34:05Amelia Davisnot all right you've been single for two months any other guys in the picture any rebound no well I have a couple um candidates that I think would be good but at this moment in time I'm not looking for a relationship when you say a couple candidates what do you mean um
00:34:16Amelia Davislike good like good guys that I would probably give them a chance to um dat have you been on a date with any of these guys no I haven't I haven't been dating how do you know them um Instagram
00:34:28Brian Atlasand like parties and events I've seen them at you knew them prior to the breakup with your current or ex-boyfriend no okay so like recently they all just materialized you have a couple
00:34:40Brian Atlascandidates that you've never met but they only materialized after the breakup yeah okay and they just dm'd you on Instagram mhm how many DMS do you get
00:34:48Amelia Davisper day um about like 15 to 20 but I'm so not active on my you get 15 to 20 DM from men per day
00:34:59Brian Atlasoh from just general of people um no I don't oh from guys oh no I if it's a spammer in India I get those too I get my you're on a dating podcast we're talking about
00:35:09Brian Atlasdating you're not talking about like people um at of day okay like five guys that it's like seems like there's a romantic interest essentially probably them for me but not me for that yeah
00:35:22Brian Atlasyeah so like they're dming you they're like hey what's up yeah want to go out want to um come out with me m per day yeah at least okay all right um that's interesting uh really quick just on that
00:35:34Brian Atlasnote who here who else here how fre how many DMS do you get per day from men that are like probably hitting on you or whatever uh like a thousand no I mean
00:35:45Gina Pradamaybe like one a day if I'm being honest not really any that much okay M honestly it just depends like if I'm active then obviously like a lot of people are going
00:35:55Gina Pradato like slide up the end go well if I post a picture I get like bro like what are you talking about yeah like if you post like you'll get like you know random guys too I've never even seen in my life average
00:36:08Gina Pradaaverage over the course of a year average like every day like per day per day yeah if you had average day I mean if I don't post I'm not getting any slide ups but if I post like you know like it could be anything like posted
00:36:19Brian Atlasthe past year yeah but like okay per day probably like M like five you want to do per month
00:36:27Brian Atlasprob five per day okay yeah what about you say like 15 to 20 I close pretty often 15 to 20 DMS from men per day M
00:36:37Catalinaokay what about you like no comment um um um I would say um without posting which I don't do very often as much as I should uh probably
00:36:48Tanyalike seven okay consistent every day all right what about you um I just you're too far from the mic Facebook and Instagram I don't care any DM okay Deborah what about you I don't check my
00:37:01Deborah LaeiaDMs that much I'm sorry everybody I love you guys but if you if you were to when I do the occasional scroll down to just see if like I don't know Elon Musk is like hey I don't know you know not that
00:37:12Deborah Laeiapurpose business reason business stuff um Pro like I do want to point out that I don't get often like gross DMS from guys I get usually like really nice like
00:37:24Deborah Laeiahey I'd love to take you for dinner like I already told my mom about us like things like that so thankfully they're not sleazy but I would say probably about like between 20 to 50 a day 20 to
00:37:36Deborah Laeia50 oh Deborah from you Brian oh uh 20 to 50 per day all my pretty active I like on Instagram especially and like Twitter lately I've been
00:37:48Brian Atlasgetting like upwards of like 30 to 50 million views a month so it's been a lot of people who may want to talk to me and you mentioned uh Elon Musk would if he did slide into your DMs would you date
00:38:00Deborah LaeiaElon I would not unfortunately he's too old for me but he did repost me on X two weeks ago so you want to keep reposting me or give me a Tesla thank you all
00:38:10Brian Atlasright uh cool there you go um that's really interesting so it was uh five I think
00:38:19Brian Atlas5515 no you're 15 to 20 right seven the Snapchat count and then oh yeah Snapchat damn that's a lot too that that I can't even count yeah I mean this is CRA I
00:38:31Brian Atlasmean look I I know that this is the case for a lot of women but uh the sexual option the sexual optionality that like the average woman gets maybe some of you
00:38:41Brian Atlasaren't average but probably most of you are um no offense uh you guys have the same sexual pull as
00:38:50Brian Atlaslike aess celebrities that are male aess celebrities mus famous musicians top tier musicians professional athletes it's just interesting to not
00:39:03Brian Atlasbut anyways moving on with the relationship status what about you um I'm in a committed fory your relationship all right how did you guys
00:39:11Gina Pradameet um we actually met in high school in in I think 11th grade yeah in 11th grade all right cool love story yeah and
00:39:21Gina Pradathat's your longest that's your longest relationship um my last relationship longest my long it was the same it was four years you had so you had another four yearold but we were like kids so I
00:39:33Brian Atlasdon't really like count it you know who broke up with who that one I did okay what about you I've been single for the past four months all right uh longest relationship
00:39:45Emilytwo years two years who broke up with who he broke up with me was that the one that ended four months ago mhm okay why did he break up with you um I had like
00:39:55Emilysome unhealed Trauma from my ex that I brought the baggage like into our relationship a lot of trust issues um you know it's two entertainers dating each other so we had to deal with that
00:40:07Emilysure okay uh so you've been single for four months uh any rebound or anything like that um I'm still like trying to work things out with him like trying to heal
00:40:18Emilyfor myself but also like hopefully to attract him back in like a healthier way um but amongst that I've kind of been like see being other people it's been teaching me some new experiences do you
00:40:31Emilyhave a roster currently of course what how big is the roster um I like to keep my options I like quality over quantity so
00:40:41Emilyright now like two okay and are you to five sorry what it depends on what four seriously like two but so it's not a roster it's
00:40:52Emilylike a starting five yeah yeah we got we got like exactly starting six maybe and have you healed the trauma that was causing you so much trouble well the more people I encounter sometimes it
00:41:05Brian Atlasmakes me realize like maybe I was the crazy one and like I need to kind of chill out when you say you were the crazy one
00:41:16Emilyso what's what conduct uh were you doing that was crazy just just a girl on her little FBI investigation stuff um
00:41:27Emilyyou know I didn't like seeing him up under Every Girl's pictures liked by so and so or when guys don't want to see me in the club but their following looks like the entire list of girls from the
00:41:39Emilyclub so stuff like that I would check his following I would see when it goes up I'd see who he's commenting under i' check his location yeah and I had a lot of time throughout the day we lived
00:41:51Emilytogether too so I was like on him for everything I tried to not check his phone for the longest because I knew that's what made made me crazy in my past relationship but sometimes a past code slips into my peripheral and you
00:42:03Emilyknow this leads to that and I'm I'm really trying to work on it I know that's some bagg I need to heal a couple times a few times was was was that behavior due to unhealed drama yeah from
00:42:15Emilybeing cheated on in my past and also like going back to them and stuff so how soon into the relationship did you start looking at this phone um before we even got into an actual relationship yeah
00:42:28Emilyyeah so like a week in oh oh sorry looking at his phone sorry I thought you said his following his following I did early the phone wasn't until like a year into us living together okay so how many
00:42:38Emilydifferent times did you check his phone um maybe like twice cuz the first time I didn't see anything I was like that can't be right so I checked it a second time and I'm like okay maybe he is actually clean I think it's a negative
00:42:50Deborah Laeiafeedback loop that this is like a very common thing that people deal with in relationships on the male and female side that when women aren't secure in relationship ship it makes them us crazy and girls start doing things like that but then also when you do things like
00:43:03Deborah Laeiathat it pushes away any chance of normaly and this is just a product of modern dating and like the issues that and I think it's the reason that people aren't entering relationships and they're not finding their Happy Ever After and it's sad and hopefully we can
00:43:15Emilyjust move past this whole like social media stage did you uh tell him that you went through his phone uh yeah I did cuz I was like why did you like her entire story highlight you said I didn't have to to worry about
00:43:27Emilythis coworker I knew y'all were [ __ ] I just went in and he almost moved out and we had to call my parents and talk about it and um yeah
00:43:37Emilyso so you so you went crazy on this guy I I tried not to I was like watching him sleep I couldn't I was like no I got to wake him up I couldn't what I was ruting
00:43:48Emilyin my thoughts you watched him sleep cuz I was like should I wake him up like is it really that wake his ass up who is this who is
00:43:59Brian Atlasthis wait what you so but why were you watching him sleep no should be dreaming about repeat sorry again I was just deciding whether or not
00:44:11Emilyto wake him up like should I act down and crash out or no wait what do you mean wake him up for what because I wanted to know I had been having my suspicions about his like shift lead at
00:44:21Emilywork he would work like overtime all of a sudden at like a nurser like a senior yeah for a year so
00:44:30Emilyhe so he was working hard well so he started taking overtime shifts and um started following his coworker on Instagram but you guys live together so
00:44:42Emilywhy would you be watching him couldn't you just talk to him when he before he went to bed I did so I like drove his car and I saw a footprint um I thought I saw a footprint in the windshield and I was like whose footprint is that like
00:44:54Emilyare y'all [ __ ] on your lunch break or something like is is this your [ __ ] your mind just keeps on going I literally like measured it cuz I was like is this your footprint or is this a female's
00:45:04Andrew Wilsonfootprint I was your lawyer I'd be like girl you know I just we're getting into legal Terr so at what point during all of this did you manage to put the cuckoo back in the
00:45:19Brian Atlasclock um still working on that so we're okay yeah so how early into the relation ship were you uh looking at his
00:45:29Emilyfollowing list like immediately like the first week cuz he's a model like he's on set with other models he's an aspiring actor I like can't fathom all the female
00:45:40Emilyco-stars and stuff he meets on a daily how uh were you guys like exclusive right away pretty much or pretty much it was kind of the sense that like oh I'm telling my guy friends like you're my girlfriend and stuff like that and I'm
00:45:52Brian Atlaslike okay let's wait to make it official but we know we're exclusive you know how soon did you guys move in with each other after a year of being together okay after a year and was that a pushed
00:46:02Emilyby you or by him or my grandpa had passed away so my mom was going to move back with my grandma and then I just had like a whole house with empty rooms had to find some roommates so it was kind of like last minute but it's something that
00:46:14Emilywe had planned anyway to move in together did you charge him rent yeah like he ain't about to live rent free market fair market value or uh we had the master bedroom so we paid the
00:46:25Brian Atlasmost like out of the house it yeah all right and uh let's see so uh what was his reaction because you like you told him You' check his phone
00:46:37Brian Atlasand then you'd tell him afterwards right cuz you felt guilty or you still wanted to confront him about nothing um well I
00:46:46Emilymean he had followed his coworker let's say in January 2024 so why did he like all of her entire gym highlight from 2022
00:46:57Emilylittle photos of her and her tight little leggings her booty progress photos when she he could have liked any other story of maybe like her going out to eat at restaurants or her traveling but no he specifically only likes the
00:47:09Brian Atlasone of her gym highlights now had you uh had a conversation with him prior to this happening that you are uncomfortable with him liking or following yes okay you and what did he say to that um he said that he would
00:47:20Brian Atlasstop he wouldn't do anything that doesn't align with a relationship okay and then I'd like to investigate a little bit of your conduct in the relationship he so he was totally reasonable um as far as doing things
00:47:33Emilypublicly I didn't like when he was commenting like fire emojis under photos of girls in lingerie and I'm like that doesn't look good reflecting on our relationship you know you just need to respect our relationship now let's um I
00:47:45Brian AtlasI do I would like to uh investigate a bit of your conduct here though you mentioned that you would be going out to the bar bars and clubs correct mhm and would uh you also do modeling is that
00:47:57Brian Atlascorrect or more like freelance not like signed uh you have your public Instagram though would you be posting revealing photos on your Instagram yes and he would as well of himself yeah like I
00:48:09Brian Atlasthink it's totally different between men and women on this uh well we went around the table and all of you said that you guys get 5 15 20 you get 15 20 DMS per
00:48:18Brian Atlasday by men women don't really at least at the same uh frequency slide into men's DMS and in fact we can test this right now um how many DMS do you guys
00:48:29Brian Atlasslide into I do it how let's just do how many DMS hold on how many total DMS have you ever sent to a man on Instagram displaying some sort of romantic not
00:48:40Brian Atlasjust like I one guy go ahead what about you how many DMS have you sent in your entire
00:48:52Calilife it's a tough one I mean less than five I'd say less than five what about you just my boyfriend zero okay maybe three oh you slid into your boyfriend's DM well
00:49:03Bridgetalways every time he Post Yeah you mean like otherwise or that's not how you met though you didn't slide that's not how you met correct oh initiate no we met through school okay all right what about you how many DMS
00:49:15Brian Atlashave you sent out at least like maybe three guys I can remember remember to okay what about you zero zero how about you how many DMS have you sent three three 12 12 okay what about you yeah
00:49:25Deborah Laeianone really none what about you damn I believe in getting what you want and asking for what you want I've definitely
00:49:32Deborah Laeiaslid into she handful of men's yeah Ryan a handful of men's DMS um and one of them worked out I ended up like going on dates with him later on in life and I'm
00:49:46Brian Atlashow many how many though how many in total yeah I don't know how many came to fruition but like at least 10 they didn't yeah at least 10 at least 10 at
00:49:56Catalinaleast 10 okay um and then I'm pretty sure like that to be honest I'd rather go hunt down who I want than have them come to me like I like that to but in any case in person though every single
00:50:09Brian Atlasgirl here has received orders of magnitude more DMS than you've sent out so this is why this just to explain the differential here like the amount of sexual Pursuit and intention that you
00:50:20Brian Atlasguys get as women is totally different so like if you as a girl you post a revealing photo that's like actually advertising whereas when a man does that post say revealing photo like what he
00:50:32Brian Atlasposts a shirtless pick mind you he's also oh a gym he's also a model correct so that's also in addition to that within the purview of his profession um massive differential I do want to
00:50:44Deborah Laeiapoint out though that like when I have slid into these men's DMS it's for hopes of like going on a date with them or thinking that they're like a standup guy that can maybe be my future husband whereas the DMS that I receive I'm sure at least half of them are people who just would want to have
00:50:57Deborah Laeiasex or things of that nature or just for the sake of like oh I took her out stuff so obviously I can't I want to give the benefit of the doubt to the male followers that are messaging me but I don't know what their actual intentions are whereas I know all of those 10 at
00:51:09Brian Atlasleast have been like genuine relationship intentions I can't say the same for the other ones necessarily yeah I mean I'd be willing to Grant to you that it's probably more likely that a man's intentions but my uh more men
00:51:21Brian Atlasmen's intentions but might be more casual in nature but I wouldn't be surprised I mean even admitted earlier that uh most of the DMS you have received have been fairly polite I wouldn't be surprised and also just given probably I assume the men who are
00:51:34Brian Atlasinterested in you probably lean a bit more conservative which would indicate to me that they're probably a bit more interested in long-term relationship as opposed to like some soy boy who's just trying to [ __ ] you because that's what soy boys do I guess I don't know they're not really they
00:51:48Brian Atlasdon't even get women soy boys well that's probably also true so um they get other men but in any case I do think there's a difference like if a guy post a photo on Instagram it's not going to elicit the same level of attention that
00:51:59Brian Atlasa woman posting a revealing a photo will receive but um post one and let's see Brian Let's test it I mean bust the thong out like the The Little Gym thirst
00:52:10Brian Atlastrap like you guys like to do the Borat man is coming um so okay uh going back to you though you were uh what was it you were posting uh you were posting
00:52:23Emilyrevealing photos on Instagram like photos of me at the beach and a bikini not like R lingerie photos it's a girl can't be at the beach on myag a guy can't like his coworker's Instagram like
00:52:35Emilyyou have to that's my way of sliding into guy DMS that's why I took it as disrespectful cuz I'll like I'll like a guy's story if I think he's looking cute go as far as like messaging them so I
00:52:47Emilyfelt like to him that was him showing him him showing extra love to his coworker that didn't need to be shown when she has already did you go to bars find you attractive
00:52:58Emilywhat was that do you go to bars and clubs yeah because promoters like um pay me they like bring out girls and we'll pay you so money opportunity for so if um if a you live in Los Angeles right
00:53:10Brian AtlasOrange County okay you're close enough so if somebody like a hey can you guys shut the [ __ ] up please thank you guys we told you before the show you can't be doing sidebar conversations what can we can't get up to get something no you can
00:53:23Brian Atlasgo to the bathroom goe that's what I was asking her cuz I'm like falling asleep I need like some energy that's I was asking like one at a time yeah there's a there's energy shots back there but kindly don't speak sorry as instructed I just didn't know if we could get up yeah you can get up that's totally fine you
00:53:36Brian Atlascan use the bathroom you can get an enery shot before I was interrupted uh it so you said because you're do you want to get up y get up in a second all right
00:53:47Brian Atlasso you were saying that you go out to the bars and clubs because you were being paid right so if a porn produc producer reached out to you and offered
00:53:57Emilyto pay you to shoot a porn wouldn't your boyfriend have an issue with that okay it's different though I'm getting paid to sit in a section like a secluded VIP section where I'm not even on the dance floor or at the bar with guys I'm
00:54:10Emilyliterally getting drinks to my table I'm in a section with just me and my girls they'd rather me bring girls out to a club than guys so it's not like I'm surrounded by girls there that's a club promoter they want to have girls in the
00:54:22Emilyclub how do they make money at the club well the girls bring the guys in and the guys pay for sections and bottles and drinks the club why so but
00:54:32Brian Atlasokay let's let's examine that why do they even pay to have women show up at these clubs it's for appeal appeal to who to
00:54:44Brian AtlasTheir audience it could be ladies spending money on bottles to so women go to bars to to hit on other women are you going were you I've been hit on by women at bars yeah you also get hit on by Men At bars
00:54:56Emilyyes but I keep it respectful because I'm in a relationship I'm not the type to go out give out my number go like their stories on so did he tell you he doesn't want you going out to bars and clubs um he just doesn't want me to extend the
00:55:09Emilyconnection further than the clubs like don't try to give them your number or connect with them on Instagram but you were still basically how often would you go out to uh bars
00:55:18Brian Atlasand clubs like bi-weekly monthly TW wait so twice a week or twice a month once every two weeks or like like once a month it depends on how often they reach
00:55:29Brian Atlasout to me okay and it sounded like so did he have issues with you going out to these bars and clubs um he would make his little jokes
00:55:40Emilyabout like me wearing revealing stuff or going out with my single girlfriends who might influence me to do single things so he didn't want you to do that yeah but you did it anyways he never said
00:55:52Brian Atlasexplicitly don't go to clubs and bars he just said giving them your number why I don't understand he says he doesn't like it why does he then need to actually articulate I because he would go out to the bars with his boys and I had to be
00:56:04Emilyokay with it I wouldn't have to stop him from that but what I wouldn't want him to go do is go to the bar with his cooworker that I think he's flirting with you know I'm going out with my girlfriends if he's going out with his guy friends it's fine it depends on who
00:56:16Brian Atlasyou're going out with yeah but again this this comes back to the differential between men and women so as a guy if you go to a bar or a club uh while I'll grant that on rare
00:56:27Brian Atlasoccasions a woman might approach you this is exceedingly a rare occurrence so it's totally different so when you go out to the bar club you can be pretty
00:56:40Brian Atlascertain that you're going to get approached like if I go out to a bar club there's no world where I can expect oh yeah tonight like three girls are going to hit on me and want to [ __ ] me tonight and put in all the work to try to [ __ ] me tonight you'd be surprised
00:56:53EmilyI've been I when I was younger I've been to bars and clubs it that's it's different now women are very more like you know you're out here sending DMS we're out here shooting our shot like it's different now I run away from that