She BETRAYED Brian?! Gen Z California College Girls! She Says Men Are GROSS?! | Dating Talk #257

Date: 2025-08-25
Duration: 6h 22m

Identified Speakers

SPEAKER_01Brian Atlas(host)
SPEAKER_02Solo(guest)
SPEAKER_03Bella (BB)(guest)
SPEAKER_05Cena(guest)
SPEAKER_06Sativa(guest)
SPEAKER_09Lexi (Escort)(guest)
SPEAKER_10Kayla (Addiction)(guest)
SPEAKER_11Ava (Sushi)(guest)
SPEAKER_12Felicity(guest)

Key Moments

00:05:13
IntroAll guests introduced
01:44:23
Key MomentAva: stalker climbed balcony and broke into apartment at 2:30 AM
02:04:09
Key MomentBrian calls Cena's breast implants a 'betrayal' — title reference
04:07:48
QuoteLexi gives body count as 'the number of pi' repeatedly throughout show

Topics Discussed

00:05:13
Guest Introductions

Including escort Lexi, former alcoholic Ava (18, sober 2 years), and returning Cena/Sativa.

02:04:01
Plastic Surgery Debate

Brian: would ban surgery as dictator. Extended panel debate.

02:04:09
Cena Betrayal (Breast Implants)

Brian calls out Cena for getting implants after he told her not to — title reference.

03:31:00
Hypergamy/Dating Apps

Average women pursue above-league men who won't commit.

04:13:00
Feminism/Wage Gap

Brian defines feminism as women's advocacy with anti-male rhetoric.

04:50:00
Trans Athletes Debate

Broad consensus trans women should not compete in women's sports.

Transcript

Page 1 of 7
00:00:12
Brian Atlaswelcome to the Whatever Dating Talk podcast. Um, [Music]
00:00:22
SPEAKER_00>> Jin donated $999. Here's to a great show. Oh, >> Felicity, grab a popsicle.
00:00:32
Brian Atlas>> You little fart machine. Let's get this party started. Shout out to the Discord gang. >> Uh Jay, literally 3 seconds before we
00:00:41
Brian Atlaswent live, I almost took my eyeball out. The I I had it ready. I was going to pop it as soon as we transitioned. So, I have the champagne here. Thanks
00:00:54
Brian Atlasfor the champagne, P. Appreciate it. Unfortunately, uh, yeah, it it went it had a mind of its own, but thank you, Jay, guys. W's in the chat for Jay. I'm going to pour
00:01:04
Brian Atlasthe champagne here to get everybody going. That was I I'm a little I'm a little bamboozled. I'm a little startled because I nearly died. Nearly died. That
00:01:16
Brian Atlasthing almost took my eye out. Anyways, um, welcome to the Whatever Dating Talk podcast. We try to make sense of the modern dating hellscape. I'm your host, Brian Atlas. We got a few quick
00:01:26
Brian Atlasannouncements before the show begins. This podcast is viewer supported YouTube demonetization, all that. We don't do sponsorships and YouTube hits us hard
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Brian Atlaswith demonetization. So, so that we can continue to not be beholden to Mega Corp advertisers, please consider donating through Streamlabs instead of soup
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Brian Atlaswhatever. To add on top of that, Streamlabs messages always get priority. To read a message during a break is $100 and up. If you want to jump into the con convo nearly instantly, consider I timed
00:02:11
Brian Atlasthe champagne pop terribly, by the way. Consider sending a TTS text to speech message. $200 and up triggers TTS. TTS is via Streamlabs only. There was a moderation delay. Also, via Streamlabs, you can mute a microphone, pop a ball of
00:02:25
Brian Atlaschampagne. That's when I should have done it. Or if you're a real baller, real G, we have some crypto only options. Full details in the description. We have like a ball of crystalall that you can pop like $500 ball of champagne. If you want to just
00:02:37
Brian Atlastip and have 100% of your contribution go towards us though, no platform fees, no cut, you can via Venmo or Cash App. That's whatever pod on both. There it is. Whatever pod. whatever pod and I'll give you guys a shout out to throughout
00:02:49
Brian Atlasthe show. We have channel memberships to become a member. Click the join button. We're also live on Twitch right now. Pull up another tab. Go to twitch.tv/w
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Brian Atlaswhatever. Drop us a follow on the prime if you have one. We got merch. Shop. If you buy something during the show, it pops up on stream and we'll give you a shout out. Follow us on Instagram
00:03:11
Brian Atlaswhatever. Any women who want to be on the show, you can DM out whatever. Uh, follow us on Twitter. Twitter.com whatever. Follow me on Instagram, Brian
00:03:19
Brian AtlasAtlas X. Twitter, Brian Atlas and my cat, April Atlas X. Um, scroll down or yeah, that's pretty much it. There's like three, six, nine photos. Um, check
00:03:30
Brian Atlasout my nonprofit movement, Big Labia Matter, BLM for short. Uh, all labia can't matter until Big Labia Matter. 10,000 laboplasties a year in the USA. It's really the pressing issue
00:03:42
Brian Atlasof our time. If you can't catch the full shows, she knows. She knows what I'm talking about. Um, if you can't catch the full shows, we have a clips channel link is in the description. We have a
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Brian AtlasDiscord, discord.gg/what whatever. We post our stream schedule, behind the scenes, hate mail, research, studies, a bunch of other stuff. If you're my Caucasian, you will you will join the Discord. Uh, oh, last thing. Does anyone
00:04:05
Brian Atlashave a contact at Meta, Tik Tok, andor Snapchat? Been having some issues with my accounts. Uh so without further ado, we're going to have the guests introduce themselves.
00:04:16
Brian AtlasPlease tell us your name, age, occupation, where you are from, and education. Wait, hold on. First, let me pass out the champagne.
00:04:27
Brian AtlasAll right. Boom. Boom. Oh, can you pass one uh pass one down all the way to her? So, just like pass it down. Jay, thank you for the champagne pop. I
00:04:37
Brian Atlastotally butchered it. Um, is that is that am I ripping him off because the pop itself wasn't on? It happened literally 3 seconds before we went live. It it auto popped.
00:04:50
Brian Atlas>> It auto popped. >> It auto popped by itself. That was the easiest champagne opening ever, which means a lot on the whatever podcast. I frequently struggle with opening
00:05:01
Brian Atlaschampagne bottles. Anyways, uh for I guess since we have some uh people who are not 21, just you can cheers with your water. Uh let's do cheers. Thank you Jay for the champagne. Salude. Cheers
00:05:12
Brian Atlas>> to uh to >> to Jay and >> retinal almost not having a retina attached to my Okay. Anyways,
00:05:24
Lexi (Escort)uh introduce yourself, please. >> Hi, my name is Lexi. I'm an integrative healing arts practitioner. I specialize in yoga, health and wellness, lifestyle coaching, and I'm also a full-ervice
00:05:37
Brian Atlasescort. >> Okay. Age? >> I'm 24 and I'm based in Arizona. >> All right. How long you been escorting for? >> Um, for 3 years now.
00:05:50
Lexi (Escort)>> Okay. All right. Oh, and I also help women in the sex work industry either transition out or help them like guide them in the path of sex work.
00:06:02
Ava (Sushi)>> All right. What about you? >> It's hard to follow. Um I'm I'm My name's Ava. I'm 18. I'm from San Francisco Bay Area. I'm a server at
00:06:14
Ava (Sushi)a sushi restaurant and I go to the city college and I'm studying psychology. All right. Do you have a sense of what you want to do after you graduate from college?
00:06:25
Ava (Sushi)>> Um, yeah. I would like to go on and go to graduate school and then become a psychiatrist and not prescribe kids with crazy meds that they don't need. >> Oh, like which which kinds? Like the
00:06:37
Ava (Sushi)anti-depressant stuff or >> Yeah, honestly a lot. Especially like ADHD medication. Honestly, I think Aderal is like really messing kids up. Like I feel strongly about that. Have you had like bad firsthand experiences
00:06:51
Brian Atlasor >> Yeah, I took God, why are we talking about my psychiatric medications? I take >> list all the meds you're currently taking. >> Really? >> Yes. >> Okay. Currently? Currently? No. >> Or pre previously then? >> Oh, [ __ ]
00:07:05
Ava (Sushi)>> [ __ ] >> Um, I took Adderall from ages 5 to 16. >> Um, >> five from they started you on aderall. >> Five years old. How messed up is that?
00:07:17
Brian AtlasYeah. Quick question. >> Was there Were you in school at the time? >> Yeah. >> And so did like >> No, the teachers were like, "What's wrong with this kid? She can't tell time." >> Yes. >> I was like, "What?" >> But was it something your parents noticed or did the teachers go to your
00:07:31
Brian Atlasparents? >> No. The teachers went to the parents. My parents were like, "She's great." But >> I have a similar story where I think I was maybe in uh second grade. >> Oh, yeah. >> And the teacher said I was disrupt
00:07:44
Brian Atlasdisruptive. >> Oh, yeah. Disruptive. And again, this this was a while ago, but >> uh and then luckily I didn't I was on Ridland for a month or two.
00:07:56
Brian Atlas>> But it is a common thing the teachers can't and I think it's normal behavior for like five, six, seven, eight, nine year olds to be >> to sit them down in a seat for 8 hours a day. >> Yeah. >> And sit there, listen to my boring ass,
00:08:09
Ava (Sushi)you know? >> Yeah. Exactly. Like maybe I'm just rowdy. Maybe I just like to have a good time. I >> Damn, they screwed you over. The teacher screwed you over. Oh my god. I know that crazy [ __ ] >> Yeah, >> she's she's >> rude. >> So rude.
00:08:21
Ava (Sushi)>> She's so bad at karaoke, too. >> Wow. You keep tabs on her or you kick it with her? >> Or is she doing karaoke on this podcast right now? >> Um, so and so you're from where again?
00:08:34
Brian Atlas>> San Francisco area. >> San Francisco. Okay. And you you said you want to become a psychiatrist. So then >> that's the plan right now. But >> you know, >> so you don't have to prescribe people mind. >> Yeah, pretty much. Cool. >> Yeah.
00:08:47
Bella (BB)>> All right. What about you? >> Um, my name is Bella. I'm a singer songwriter. I go by BB. Um, I'm from Oregon and also the Bay before here. And
00:08:59
Brian AtlasI'm going to school for cosmetology >> at this is it the city college or Okay. >> It's through the city. >> They they have a cosmetology. >> Yeah. It's not in the same location, but it's >> Oh, it's a different location. >> It's through. Yeah. >> And then is that what you want to do?
00:09:11
Bella (BB)You want to be like a makeup artist or >> No, hair or something? Definitely hair. Um, that's just more of my plan for like incomewise, >> but my actual plan is to like pursue music fully.
00:09:23
Bella (BB)>> Okay. And what do you do for music? >> I'm a singer. >> Do you play any instruments? >> Yes, I play the guitar and the piano. And me and my sister make um like tracks digitally for me to sing on. That's how we like make music. >> Mhm. Are you a soprano?
00:09:36
Bella (BB)>> Uh, I think I have a pretty good range. I think it can be all of them. >> Okay. Can we Can we get a little demo or >> Maybe not yet. I'm I'm still nervous. But yeah, if I can say this, Bella's
00:09:48
Brian AtlasVocals is my Tik Tok >> for music. Follow me. >> And uh you're both you both are from San Francisco. >> Well, you're from the >> like conquered. >> Okay.
00:10:00
Brian Atlas>> I lived in Marin County. >> Do you know hiy the hiy movement? >> Hiy. >> Hiy. Never mind. Anyways, >> that Yeah, I don't. >> Ghost ride the whip. >> She might be kind of young. >> It is a bit of an older >> I'm pretty young. Yeah,
00:10:12
Solo>> bit older. Okay, then I don't know. >> Um, all right. What about you? >> Hi, I'm Ka. I'm 18 and I'm from the Bay Area as well. >> Wait.
00:10:22
Solo>> Um, I go to SPCC. I'm a first year and I'm a business major, but I don't know what I want to do with that after yet. >> Okay. All right. And, uh, what about
00:10:35
Soloyou? >> Um, my name is Solo. I'm 18. I'm also a first year at SPCC. Um, I'm from Santa Barbara County and I want to be a radiation therapist.
00:10:49
Solo>> Okay. When you say you're from Santa Barbara County, are you from north, south, or Santa Barbara? >> Um, I'm from like LMO, Sanz area. >> Oh, Loke. Okay. >> And Sanz, you got to add that one in there. Don't Don't just judge you off of the first one.
00:11:01
Brian Atlas>> Right. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. All right. Cool. And you said you wanted to be a radiation tech >> therapist. >> Therapist. Got it. What about you? >> Uh, I'm a sativa. I'm 30 and I'm a tattoo artist and I do like murals and stuff like that. >> Oh.
00:11:15
Brian Atlas>> All right. And you've done a bunch of body mods, too. Is that correct? >> Yeah. >> Can you show us the body mod? >> I I felt like this was going to >> What's a body mod like?
00:11:28
Sativa>> Ooh. Whoa. >> Her tongue is split. >> Can you taste two things at once? >> Wait, what? >> Like it? You You can You could I can put
00:11:39
Ava (Sushi)my tongue in like two different ice creams. >> Wow. >> That's so cool. >> Trip me out. Oh my god. You could have like 10 smoothies probably.
00:11:52
Sativa>> That is dope. >> How long did it take to heal? >> Uh it only took 7 days. So the tongue is like the fastest healing body part in the body. So >> Oh my goodness.
00:12:01
Sativa>> Nice. And uh where are you from? Uh I'm from Oceanside, California, but I live in Oklahoma. >> Gotcha. And any uh education? >> Um I went to college for a little bit,
00:12:13
Sativabut then I dropped out and became an entrepreneur pretty much instead. >> When you say what were you doing? >> Uh when I was in college. >> Well, you said you were an entrepreneur. >> Oh, I'm a tattoo artist. And I do Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I do like custom
00:12:25
Kayla (Addiction)canvases and murals and stuff. >> Sure. Cool. What about you? >> My name is Kayla. I'm 27. I'm from Las Vegas, Nevada, but I currently live in Chattanooga, Tennessee. I have a
00:12:36
Brian Atlasmaster's degree and I currently work as an addiction counselor. >> You have a master's in what? >> Forensic psychology. >> Forensic psychology. Can you explain to
00:12:47
Kayla (Addiction)perhaps viewers who don't know what that is, what what is forensic psychology? >> Forensic psychology is the study of criminal behavior and psychology kind of combined like what what is behind people's behaviors and why they commit
00:12:59
Kayla (Addiction)certain crimes and things like that. Um, my I really can't never mind. Scratch that. I can't talk about it on this podcast, but um, >> you're a spy. >> No, no, my specialty and it's it's an
00:13:10
Kayla (Addiction)essay offender registry and why sometimes it could be bad and what better ways to treat it. Um, so yeah, that is my occupation. I am looking forward to going back to school for my
00:13:20
CenaPhD in maybe the next coming year. >> All right. What about you? >> My name is Cena. I'm an influencer and I'm 19 years old. I'm from Canada. >> All right. Are you in school right now? >> Yes.
00:13:34
Brian Atlas>> What are you studying? >> Engineering. >> What kind? >> Mechanical engineering. >> Mechanical engineering. Okay. And you're going into your second year, third year, >> second.
00:13:45
Brian Atlas>> Second. Okay. Cool. All right. Um Oh, we have a couple chats coming through. We'll get to those. Then we'll get into the relationship status.
00:13:57
SPEAKER_00We have Desert George. >> Desert Georgeated $200 >> to the panel. Be kind to your host. War with burritos. >> He really wants to help everyone learn
00:14:10
Brian Atlassomething. >> Also, shout out to my homies in the Discord. Best based chat on the interwebs, hands down. >> Yo, Desert Jorge, thank you for that uh
00:14:22
Brian AtlasTTS, man. Really appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. All right, guys. We're going to get go around the table once more. What is everyone's current relationship status? If you're single, how long have you been single? And what's the longest relationship you've
00:14:34
Lexi (Escort)ever been in? >> I am currently single. My longest relationship was probably about four years. And what was the next question? >> How long have you been single?
00:14:46
Brian Atlas>> Uh about two years. >> And longest relationship, four years. Okay. Is that the one that ended two years ago? The four year. Okay. Who broke up with who? >> Uh, I broke up with him.
00:14:58
Ava (Sushi)>> Okay. What about you? >> Um, sorry. I've been single for like two weeks. Um,
00:15:10
Ava (Sushi)>> okay. >> My longest relationship was like just under two years. >> Is that the one that ended two weeks ago? >> No. >> Okay.
00:15:23
Ava (Sushi)uh the one that ended two weeks ago. How long were you seeing that person? >> Um just over the summer really. We just decided that we were going to be
00:15:31
Ava (Sushi)together until we each were like parting ways cuz long distance is not >> long distance. No, that's what I was saying. >> Okay. >> Um >> so you guys what two months, three
00:15:45
Brian Atlasmonths? >> Yeah, probably like three months maybe. Yeah. >> Okay. And so it was kind of pre-planned that you guys were going to stop seeing each other. >> Like Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah.
00:15:58
Brian Atlas>> So there wasn't a breakup? >> No. Not just like >> later. >> It wasn't really like all right later, but it was definitely like >> bye. >> And this is in your uh where you live at
00:16:12
Ava (Sushi)home? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Did he go off to college, too, or is he staying? Yeah. So, he's older than I He's a year older. He goes to school like on the East Coast and he was just
00:16:25
Sologoing back and I'm going. >> Are Are you guys going to try to meet up like during holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas? >> No, guys. This is >> No, she's not. >> She's not going to do that. >> I am. >> We'll see you.
00:16:38
Ava (Sushi)>> That's a complicated question. >> I mean, but it did things end badly or >> No, things didn't end bad. No, they did not. I like the honest friends, by the way. >> No, they did not end badly. If so, someone I know is >> what what happened.
00:16:51
Solo>> Yeah. So, what happened? No, don't. >> I'm not going to I'm not going to go into detail, but >> um >> she cheated on. >> Think about No, I didn't cheat on him. What do you think? No, >> you stole his cat.
00:17:03
Solo>> No, literally nothing went wrong. I was just like, "Okay, I'm really busy. Like, stop >> reaching out." And he and he kept reaching out, >> guys. No, it's not even >> He disrespected her boundaries and he happened. That's not what happened.
00:17:16
Ava (Sushi)>> And that's basically >> That's not what happened. He's a Guys, he's a really good guy. Shout out. >> No, >> shout out if you're watching. Like, no hard feelings. We're good. >> That's it. That's it. >> That's cute. >> Shut the [ __ ] up.
00:17:31
Brian Atlas>> It's cute. >> This [ __ ] ain't cute. >> It is. >> All right. Good times. Um, and then >> so good. Going to the two-year relationship that you had though. Uh, who broke up with who >> for that one?
00:17:43
Brian Atlas>> We say now that it was a mutual thing, but I broke up with him. >> Good times. >> Cool. All right. Any reason why or just >> It was just not We were just kids. Like
00:17:54
Bella (BB)it just working. Yeah. It was like just wasn't working. >> All right. >> Normal reasons. >> What about you? >> I am currently single. My last
00:18:04
Bella (BB)relationship was I think a little barely under a year ago. Um, and my longest relationship was two years total, but off and on. >> Is that the one that ended a year ago?
00:18:16
Brian Atlas>> No, that was my first boyfriend. >> How many times was the two-year one off and on? >> Like three times. >> Three times. Who would What was the breakdown for each of those times? Who ended things? >> Um, I've never been broken up with.
00:18:29
Bella (BB)>> So, you would end things with him? >> Yes. And then who would reach back out? >> Kind of just like both, I guess. >> Like split. >> Yeah. Okay. >> Like Yeah.
00:18:41
Bella (BB)>> All right. Uh what were the reasons for the the it going off? >> Basically, when we dated, he was 2 years older than me and I was only like 14 when we started dating and he was like
00:18:53
Bella (BB)just barely 16. And I don't know, I guess I was just going through like kind of a rough patch in my life and he didn't know how to like um what's the word? Cater to that if that makes sense.
00:19:07
Bella (BB)>> Mhm. >> So it was like on me because I wasn't like probably in the best situation to be in a relationship. So it was like no one's fault. Like I don't have anything against him, but it's just not working.
00:19:18
Brian Atlas>> Gotcha. And then the uh the most recent one you said it ended a year ago. Yes. >> How long were you seeing that guy? >> Um, probably like under a year. >> Okay. Who broke up with who?
00:19:31
Bella (BB)>> Me. >> You? Okay. Any reason? >> He's crazy. >> He's crazy. >> He's crazy. >> What What was crazy? >> He just um he was just a very jealous person. I think that was it. Cuz we were
00:19:44
Bella (BB)in the same friend group, this massive friend group, and we all went out together like whenever we went to like parties or like hangouts or anything. And like I don't know I guess like even like speaking to like a guy friend he
00:19:56
Brian Atlaswould like get mad at me. We just fought a lot. I'm also at fault. Just didn't work. >> What's what's like one two or three things that you feel you think you did wrong? >> I think that I had poor communication
00:20:07
Bella (BB)because I would get angry and then instead of being like hey I'm mad at you. I would just be like >> you know like attitude. And that started fights and stuff. I think that I definitely could have
00:20:18
Brian Atlasbeen better with raising my voice sometimes. So you would you yell at him? >> We'd yell at each other. But like Yeah. Like I should >> But when you say yell, what level of cuz
00:20:30
Bella (BB)there's there's different >> Not like vocal fry screaming, but like raising my voice like >> raised voice >> like interrupting each other cuz like we had completely different standpoints. >> What was the biggest blow up that you guys haded?
00:20:42
Bella (BB)>> Oh my goodness. >> Like what what was it over? So basically the biggest blow up I have to like remember the specifics but it was his birthday and he was like having people
00:20:52
Bella (BB)over at his house for like a party and then he got like really drunk and like towards the end of the night he was like oh like I'm going to drive my like some of the rest of our friends home and I
00:21:03
Bella (BB)was like no you're not like you're drunk and I wasn't. And so I was like, I can drive. And then he was like, okay. And he gave me his keys and I drove our friends and he came. And then after I
00:21:14
Bella (BB)had dropped off the second friend, he like wakes up and he was like, why the [ __ ] are you driving my car right now? And I was like, what? >> And he was like, you have no right to be
00:21:24
Brian Atlasdriving my car using my gas. I was like, what is wrong with you? And that turned into like a huge fight. >> Got it. Okay. All right. So you've been
00:21:34
Brian Atlassingle for a year. Uh, you said that uh when you were 14 you had a rough patch. What What was the rough patch? >> I was just >> grown pins. >> Huh?
00:21:47
Bella (BB)>> Growing pains. >> Yeah, for sure. I mean, I was just like there was just a lot of things that I was like finding out in that time and like school was really hard for me. High school was always been absolute torture
00:21:59
Bella (BB)for me except for my last one cuz I went to six of them. >> You went to six different high school? >> Six different high schools. Why is that? >> Because um my stepdad's in the Marine Corps. >> Oh, he's in the military.
00:22:09
Bella (BB)>> Yes. And then also my mom just like often changes where she wants to live >> for work or just like >> just be like, "Oh, I want to live on the beach. Let me move." >> Okay.
00:22:20
Bella (BB)>> Yeah. So, yeah, I went to a bunch of different high schools. Um but yeah, like 14 to 16 was just like rough for me. >> Gotcha. >> Like I feel like that's normal, though. Like >> Yeah. >> The emo phase. >> Sure.
00:22:32
Solo>> All right. Uh what about you? >> Yeah. I'm single. I've been single for a month now. And my longest relationship was with my first boyfriend. And it was
00:22:44
Brian Atlas>> uh like almost 3 years. >> Almost 3 years. Okay. >> And the But a month ago, you just got out of something. How long was that relationship? >> That was a three-year one. >> Oh, that was the the three-year one.
00:22:56
SoloGotcha. Who broke up with who? >> It was mutual. It was He wanted it more than I did. >> The relationship? No, he wanted to break up. >> Oh, he wanted to break up more. I see. Okay. >> Yeah. >> Okay.
00:23:08
Brian Atlas>> Uh, did you also kind of want to break up or >> No. >> Oh, you wanted to stay. >> Damn. Okay. 3 years only. >> It's only been a month. >> Yeah. >> That's uh that's pretty fresh.
00:23:21
Brian Atlas>> Are you okay? >> Yeah. >> I wanted to do the distance, but he did not. >> You wanted You wanted to do long distance. >> It's only a 4hour drive. So >> back in uh SF or the Bay or >> Yeah. Well, >> not even bad.
00:23:34
Brian Atlas>> Yeah, >> cuz a lot of people Was he also your age? >> No, he's a senior in high school. >> Wait, he's younger than >> Yeah. >> Okay. Cougar Cougar over here.
00:23:44
Brian Atlas>> Um so I see. Okay. So you were going off to college. Was that part of it? Like you're leaving? So, >> uh, I don't I guess he I like kept
00:23:56
Soloasking him like like in the middle of school like, "Okay, like we're going to do distance, right?" And he'd be like, "Yeah, like yeah, like I only want you like we're going to do distance." And then like a month before like I like was
00:24:07
Sololike before like I left, he was like, "Oh, like I don't know if I want to do it anymore." And I was like, "You just told me you did, so I believed it and then you changed your mind about it." >> All right. >> Yeah.
00:24:19
Brian Atlas>> Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I mean uh it is pretty common people uh when they go off to college often times relationships even longer >> relationships like yours people opt to you know they want the college
00:24:30
Ava (Sushi)experience they opt to >> break up everything okay is there what >> I've never seen glass versions >> glass >> glass versions glass versions of the cups
00:24:43
Ava (Sushi)>> oh right okay >> oh wait I just realized he has a plastic version a paper version And >> yeah, we all of the above. We Yeah, >> your star >> diversity. >> Yeah, I got it. >> Diversity initi,
00:24:57
Brian Atlas>> right? >> Inclusion. Yes, exactly. >> Equity. >> Yeah. >> Whatever podcast. >> There you go. Um,
00:25:07
Solo>> what about you? >> Um, I've been single for seven months now. >> Okay. I my longest relationship was probably
00:25:17
Sololike a year and a halfish. >> Was it on again, off again? >> Yeah. >> How many times off? >> Three. >> Three. Who would initiate? >> Um me.
00:25:29
Solo>> Who would initiate to get back? >> Mutual. >> Mutual. Okay. What What were the reasons for the off? >> Um the first time he cheated on me. >> Um >> Good times.
00:25:41
Solo>> [ __ ] that guy. Uh Actually, this is a funny story. I was at my sister's wedding. It was two days before my birthday and I told him I loved him and
00:25:52
Solohe cheated on me that night. >> Oh, he
00:25:58
Solo[ __ ] >> And um then the second time he thought I cheated on him. >> Did you? >> No.
00:26:08
Solo>> Okay. And then the third time he really pissed me off. So I gave him a letter and made him read it in front of me and told him he couldn't speak until he finished reading it and that was it. >> Do you have a copy of the letter?
00:26:21
Brian Atlas>> Probably. >> Like it was it >> was a handwritten letter, but I took a picture. >> You have a picture? >> Probably. >> Can we read that? >> You can like You can like >> If I can find it. >> Yeah. Can we get her her phone? Why not get her the phone?
00:26:35
Brian Atlas>> If I can find it, I'll read it. Let's go. It's a maroon case and it has like >> edges like Yes. >> And if you you can omit like if it says his name in it or whatever, just omit it. Um, while you're getting that,
00:26:47
Sativawhat's your relationship status? >> Um, I'm in a relationship. >> Okay. How long have you been in that? >> Uh, almost a year now. >> All right. One year. Longest relationship? >> Uh, like close to five. Like four or five years.
00:27:01
Sativa>> Ever married? >> No. >> Ever engaged? >> No. >> Any kids? Yes, I have one >> one kid. Is that from the 5-year relationship? >> No, I had my son when I was 19 and his
00:27:13
Sativafather died. So, >> sorry. Died of what? >> Uh, MRSA. He had a staff infection. >> Oh, [ __ ] How did he get it? >> So, he had got um surgery in his eye at the hospital cuz he got glass in it and
00:27:26
Sativathen he died two days later from a staff infection. When I was >> from the >> Was it Do you think it was from the hospital or from the glass getting in his eye? Um uh so I started to like kind of look and do some research and one of
00:27:37
Sativathe main places that people get staff infections in MRSA is actually from hospitals. >> So I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. >> But I was like so young so I didn't even think about like malpractice or wrongful
00:27:49
Sativadeath or things like that. So um but my son's 11 now. So >> how's he doing? >> He he's great. It's actually it's been very interesting. My son actually had a stroke two years ago, too. >> Oh my goodness.
00:28:02
SativaAt nine, your son had a stroke. >> Yeah, he had a brain aneurysm at AVM. >> Oh, holy [ __ ] >> So, I've had a very interesting uh life. Very interesting. >> Wow.
00:28:14
Brian Atlas>> I guess the lesson is >> don't go to the hospital. Never go to the hospital. You got glass in your eye, you got to lose the eye, I guess. I don't That's crazy, though. Sorry to hear about that. No, >> it's okay.
00:28:23
Brian Atlas>> Um, okay. Son 11. Uh, and then you've been in the one-year relationship. Wait, the five-year relationship. How long had you been dating the guy uh who
00:28:35
Sativahad your son or you who >> who you had your son with? >> So, I I actually So, I was like 18, 19. He was like 22 or something like that. And I was dating him for like two months before I ended up getting pregnant.
00:28:48
Sativa>> Okay. So, pretty early on. >> Yeah. Yeah. And then >> into the uh >> And then we were like on and off and very toxic up until he died, honestly. >> Damn. It's like, you know, funny. Uh,
00:29:00
Brian Atlaswhat is it? Uh, trauma humor. It's like not funny, but >> humor makes it better to deal with. That's how you cope. Yeah, >> that's it. >> All right. Uh, what about you? Oh, actually, really quick. Do you have Do you have it? >> I'm getting there. I'm going to go to my
00:29:13
Kayla (Addiction)notes app. There's a lot in there. >> Oh, not the notes app. >> I'm currently single. Been single for like four years on and off dating. My longest relationship probably a year and a half.
00:29:25
Brian Atlas>> All right. What's your uh I saw you showed me your dating app profile before. What's your orientation? >> Um, so it's kind of weird. I'm not sexually
00:29:37
Kayla (Addiction)attracted to men, but I am with women, but I do like men emotionally. And that's why my last my last relationship was with a man and he broke up with me because
00:29:47
Kayla (Addiction)um I wasn't physically attracted to him in that way. Um, so I don't really I think I'm more homosexual just because of sexuality of it, but um I guess you
00:29:57
Brian Atlaswould say demi of emotional um connection. >> Mhm. Uh the your longest relationship, the one and a half year one, was that with a man or a woman? >> Was with a man?
00:30:09
Brian Atlas>> With man. Okay. Uh have you had a long-term relationship with any women? >> No. >> Okay. And so you said you're not sexually attracted to men?
00:30:19
Brian Atlas>> Correct. I see. Okay. You're sexually attracted to women, but you is it you said you prefer the relationship component with the men?
00:30:30
Kayla (Addiction)>> Well, I'll put it this way. I have a lot of guy friends only because for me it's easier to get along with them. Um, they're a little more laid-back. Um, they don't really cause drama. Um,
00:30:42
Kayla (Addiction)however, I am physically and emotionally and all that attracted to women. Um, >> if I could, I think that's probably why
00:30:51
Kayla (Addiction)why I struggle with dating only because I really don't know where I stand. So, um, but I do enjoy the company of whoever is around me, I guess. >> By the way, are your glasses
00:31:04
Cenaprescription or Yes, they are. >> Okay. All right. What's the correction level? Is it bad? >> It's really bad. >> All right. Cena, what about you? >> Um, I've been single Well, I'm single right now. I've been single for about
00:31:15
Cenatwo years and my longest was about two years. >> All right. Longest two years. Who broke up with who? >> I broke up with him. >> All right. Rock and roll. Uh, do you have it? >> I cannot.
00:31:28
Brian Atlas>> You found it. Come on. You just don't want to read it. >> I can tell you the gist of it. >> Yeah, sure. We can do that. Um, also, why don't we uh pass the phone down that way and Nick can retake it?
00:31:38
Solo>> All right. Go ahead. So essentially, he would get mad at me a lot, like every single day. Examples, um, I would be taking a nap and he would say, "Solo, I
00:31:51
Solocan't [ __ ] do this right now. I can't do this with you anymore. You're not answering me." And I would be like, "Bro, I literally took a nap." And another time I was updating my phone and
00:32:02
Solomy Life 360 turned off because I was updating my phone and he he texted me after like I saw after I
00:32:12
Soloupdated and he was like, "I can't [ __ ] do this. You're cheating on me." Blah blah blah. And I was like, "I literally have been home watching a movie with my mommy and I I don't know
00:32:25
Solowhat to tell you." He was just really insecure and I told him that and I told him I didn't like that and um >> insecure man. >> He also really liked to be right a lot all the time. He was always right
00:32:37
Brian Atlas>> and that >> that pissed me off really bad. >> So >> So those were the things he did bad in terms of the letter that you had him write >> or sorry Excuse me. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:32:50
Solo>> Oh yeah. Yeah. >> So how long like how long did it did he actually read it? >> He actually read it. It took him about seven minutes. >> Did he read it out loud like Dr. Seuss or was it in his brain? >> It was in his brain because he was crying so he had to
00:33:03
Brian Atlas>> He was crying >> while reading the letter. >> Yeah. >> I hope he has to use this.
00:33:13
Ava (Sushi)>> Wow. Um, cool. >> Can I interject that he's also like not cute enough to be acting this way? >> Not Not cute enough. >> Yeah. >> He's not anything. >> How tall is he? Oh, wait. No, that's that's not the one, you know.
00:33:26
Solo>> Oh, [ __ ] >> There's been multiple letters. >> Oh, >> yeah. That's how I break up with these people. >> You write them a letter. >> I write I hand write them a letter and I give it to them. >> Wow. >> Damn. Have you done the letter thing
00:33:40
Solo>> twice? But >> Okay, that's going to be your go-to move. >> Yeah, I kind of like that. >> Yeah, I really like it. >> Like jotting that down >> because then they won't interrupt you and you get to get all your thoughts
00:33:51
Brian Atlasout. You're not overstimulated or anything. And they can keep it if they're really butt hurt. That's smart. >> What's those things called where somebody goes to your you can hire a service and then they can deliver a message? >> Like a hitman. >> Like a telegram. What is that called?
00:34:05
Brian Atlas>> Like a hitman. >> Yes, a hitman. Uh >> a server like where they serve. >> No, no. It's >> a messenger >> like a pigeon, >> but they'll read it. A scroll.
00:34:15
Sativa>> Scroll. A scribe. >> A scribe. I was going to put that right. Is it a telegram? I think it's a telegram. >> I think you should step it up to the telegram instead. >> Yeah. Have them sing a song.
00:34:27
Bella (BB)>> But then you don't get to watch the pain and fear in their eyes. >> Singing telegram. Break up via pigeon. >> Sent one of my friends to do it. >> Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. Just one
00:34:38
Soloat a time. Go ahead. It's okay. >> Oh, what? Oops. I'm really confused. >> You were talking. >> Oh, yeah. Uh, I almost sent one of my friend, well, for my last boyfriend, not
00:34:48
Solothe one that I just told you about, but my last boyfriend. Um, I was like, "Hey, like, can we hang out?" And this was before we broke up. And he was completely avoiding me. And I was literally just going to show up to his
00:35:00
Solohouse and hand his mom the letter because he's such a mommy's boy. >> Clocking. >> Wow. Okay. >> Yeah. >> T. >> All right. Uh, >> I got so much of that.
00:35:11
Brian Atlas>> One sec, guys. We have a chat coming through here. Sorry for the delay on this. Just a couple minute delay. We have Mr. Nobody. Thank you for the TTS. >> Oh my god.
00:35:22
SPEAKER_00>> Mr. Nobody donated $200. Lexi Love Lace. When you walk in, do guys fall for you or do they just trip over their own pickup lines? They can
00:35:33
SPEAKER_00fall or fumble all they want? I just know I'm lucky enough to say you've got my heart. >> A thank you, Mr. Nobody. I appreciate you so much.
00:35:44
Brian Atlas>> Uh, we have a rule. If you send in a simpish TTS, you have to send in another one as an apology for sing. So, Mr. Nobody, you need to and we'll, you know, if you
00:35:56
Brian Atlaswant to do Champagne Pop, we'll accept that, too. Uh, we'll dedicate it to Lexi here, your crush, I guess. Do you know this guy in person or is he >> he's a
00:36:06
Lexi (Escort)a retweet guy, a reply guy on socials. Okay. He shares a lot of love with me and your love never goes unnoticed. So, thank you. >> All right, rock and roll. Rock and roll.
00:36:17
Brian AtlasAll right, uh we're going to get into the uh show notes. So, here's what we're going to do. Actually, you know what? Hold on one sec. We have >> smoothies. >> They're coming. They're coming. They're
00:36:32
Brian Atlascoming. >> I was just about to say, >> all right, this next segment is called introducing a new one here. Red flag, green flag. Oh, >> I'm going to read to you 10 different things and you're going to we're going
00:36:44
Brian Atlasto go around the table one by one. Or you know what? Maybe should we do a hand raise simultaneously? >> Yeah, I think we'll just do hand raise simultaneously. Felicity.
00:36:55
Brian AtlasAll right. So, raise your hand. Raise your hand if you think the following is a red flag. So, if you don't raise your hand,
00:37:04
Brian AtlasI I guess that's either neutral or green flag. He's 30 and still lives with his parents. Raise your hand if it's a red flag. No,
00:37:17
Bella (BB)you're fine. You're fine with it. >> Yeah, I'm okay with it. >> Okay. >> Actually, >> you're fine. >> I think it depends. >> Depends on the situation. I have red flag.
00:37:27
Solo>> Red flag. Okay. >> He has no Instagram at all. Red flag. >> That's a >> or green flag. Green flag. Okay. >> No Instagram. >> Neither.
00:37:40
Sativa>> I don't think it matters. I don't think that has any relevance. I love a man that has no Instagram. >> The first >> The first question, did you mean like who he's following? Is that what you ad meant for the first question you said?
00:37:51
SPEAKER_00>> I think he meant living with living. >> No, he has no Instagram. We have this coming in. Oh, whoops. >> My condus call it donated $200. >> You messed that up. >> Fit check. My sprinkler goes like this.
00:38:10
SPEAKER_00Nice. >> Still going. >> Comes back like this.
00:38:17
Brian Atlas>> Uh, thank you, Mike Lit. Appreciate it. Uh, he asked for the fit check. I guess we could do that super quick. We have another one coming in. >> Uh, >> George >> simultaneous. I guess we just do
00:38:30
Brian Atlassimultaneous fit check. >> Don't be a pathetic sim. >> Yep. Pay the SIM tax. Well done, Pace George. Thank you for calling him out. >> Pay the SIM tax. You got to send in
00:38:39
Brian Atlasanother TTS. That's That's what it is. >> Uh Mike Oh, it's one of those names. Okay. Um fit. We'll do a fit check simultaneous. If everybody just wants to
00:38:49
Brian Atlasstand up, show the fit. All right. Fit incoming. >> There it is. Fit. >> Fit incoming.
00:38:59
Brian Atlas>> There's the fit. Wow. Great fit. Amazing. Best I've ever seen. >> Anybody want to do like a spin? You can. Everybody do a spin. >> I don't think I have room to spin. >> No room to spin. >> Okay. I don't have room to
00:39:13
Brian Atlas>> All right. No, no spinning room. There you go. Mike >> lit. Thank you for that. Appreciate it. And then we have uh Arya. Looks like you bought a piece of merch. Whoops, I messed that up. Hold on. Let's see if
00:39:24
Brian Atlasthis comes through. Arya, thanks for the uh the purchase there of a Looks like you got a t-shirt on the merch shop, shop whatever.com. Thank you. If you guys want to get yourself one, feel free to go to
00:39:36
Brian Atlasshop.whatever.com, get yourself a t-shirt. All right, back to the red flag green flag. Okay, he asks to split the bill on the first date. Raise your hands if that's a red flag.
00:39:48
Brian Atlas>> Can I stand up? >> Yeah, go ahead. Stand up again. She's doing a second fit check. Boom. That's how big. That's how big I think it is. >> Watch out. Elon Musk got in trouble for doing that. I'm just kidding. Okay.
00:40:02
Brian Atlas>> All right. Um, next one. >> He owns a podcast. >> I have a podcast.
00:40:13
Ava (Sushi)>> He He has a podcast. >> I love Gary Brea. I think you're a little bit too much of like a like little drama. Like if you own a pod queen, you're too much of a drama queen.
00:40:27
Brian Atlas>> You're a drama queen. >> Okay. >> I think it depends on what the podcast gossip girl. >> Yeah, you like gossip. >> Yeah. >> There you have it, folks. >> He's a gym rat and posts shirtless pics daily. >> Red flag.
00:40:40
Ava (Sushi)>> Yeah. >> For me, >> like or for other girl. >> Red flag >> for you. Every single day is extensive. It's excessive. I mean, >> yeah, >> that's why I want to see them.
00:40:54
Solo>> I don't >> Yeah, send them to me. Don't like that. >> It kind of grosses me out when they send them to me. I'm kind of like, "Oh, I could see you making this like
00:41:05
Ava (Sushi)>> face." And also like imagining them like taking the picture. I'm just like set it up. Yeah. No, especially, >> you know, when they like roll up their
00:41:15
Brian Atlasshorts and like they like flex their thighs and you're just like >> I would rather die than ever see this photo ever again. Like, >> okay, we're going to rapid fire the rest. He uses Snapchat.
00:41:29
Solo>> Red flag. >> Uses Snapchat. >> Depends on the age. >> Yeah. >> Red flag. >> The age of the guy that you would date. >> Yes. >> Yes. Okay. He claps when the plane lands. That was just kind of cute. >> That's adorable.
00:41:42
Bella (BB)>> Yeah, it's kind of cute. >> They're like funny. I don't know. >> All right. He uses way too many emojis. >> I like that. >> Yeah, that's nice. >> Never enough emojis. >> I I mean, this is sort of targeted
00:41:54
Brian Atlastowards these guys, but if a girl uses too many emojis, red flag. >> Huge red flag. >> Why? You've never like when uh it's in between words >> like it's
00:42:09
Brian Atlasa couple words and then there's another emoji words emoji words emoji words. >> That person is crazy. Trust me, something's not right there going through. >> Why you do that [ __ ] Cena? I bet you don't.
00:42:23
Brian Atlas>> Right. >> Cena does that [ __ ] Um >> I don't >> um It's a red flag. Massive red flag. Um, let's see.
00:42:35
Brian Atlas>> Uh, he says, "I don't believe in therapy." >> Oh my gosh. >> Is that a red flag? >> Red flag. >> Red flag. She's >> I don't think that's a red flag. >> Not a red flag. >> I mean like when you say don't believe
00:42:48
Bella (BB)in therapy, do you mean like don't believe in resolving your issues or don't believe in needing someone else to resolve your issues? >> Probably that one. The second one because I personally don't like agree with therapy personally, not as a whole. I think it's great for
00:43:01
Ava (Sushi)everyone, >> but like I would >> psychiatrist, future psychiatrist think about that. >> I totally respect that. I 100% a personal preference. I think that like there's a type of something that can be
00:43:14
Ava (Sushi)useful to everyone, but that doesn't mean like sitting in a room and talking to a therapist all the time, you know? I think it's silly to say that it's for everyone. >> Can I say something?
00:43:26
Lexi (Escort)>> Yeah, go ahead. >> I feel like if >> I feel like if you're constantly going through a pattern in life where you're running into the same issues time after
00:43:36
Lexi (Escort)time after time again and you yourself are like talking to friends or family and you're like, "This is going on in my life and everything sucks and is so shitty." I feel like then that could be
00:43:48
Lexi (Escort)a good tool to have a professional step in and like voice your thoughts and your opinions to a professional versus voicing those thoughts to like a friend or a family because sometimes you need somebody else to kind of like
00:44:00
Lexi (Escort)call you out for that pattern and that behavior. You know what I mean? So sometimes it can help somebody and sometimes it won't. It's just depending on where you are within yourself to seek that help or that guidance from others, you know.
00:44:13
Kayla (Addiction)>> So >> can I interject? Go ahead. >> I think men who don't go to therapy have a lot of inner stress, a lot of anger, and a lot of things that can resolve because society tells them that no, no
00:44:25
Kayla (Addiction)man can talk about it. And that's why a lot of men end up in jail. That's why most men end up addicts. That's why most men are It's because society is telling them you don't need to go see a therapist. It is bad, >> right?
00:44:37
Kayla (Addiction)>> I don't think men are ending up in jail because of their lack of going to therapy. Well, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is anger. That's the only anger they express because that's the only anger
00:44:49
Kayla (Addiction)that society seems as necessary for them to feel. I'm not saying lack of therapy will resort in jail or prison time, but I'm saying it could definitely help them keep them out of it. >> Wait, do you genuinely think that like
00:45:01
Brian Atlaswould you agree that the cohort of people that go to prison or jail, do you think they have the socio socioeconomics to be able to afford therapy? >> No. No, probably not.
00:45:13
Lexi (Escort)>> Like typically people in prison in jail don't >> are really low in terms of socioeconomic class. They don't have the resources to go to therapy. >> That's the problem. And one other thing I want to mention, um I agree with what you're saying because it's like in
00:45:26
Lexi (Escort)society, we've built these walls up for men not to be able to seek those resources and help. And so as a society, how I think that we can help that is being able to hold space for the men that do suffer with severe mental health
00:45:38
Lexi (Escort)issues or problems so that we can kind of counteract that stigma of, hey, mental health sucks. You should be a man. Suck it up. And actually seek that help with somebody that's trusted in a safe environment for them to be able to
00:45:50
Sativashare that. >> Yeah. Plus men being able to talk about how they feel is actually a more powerful thing. Like being vulnerable is a good thing. I was gonna say I think >> yes, get in tune with your emotions, Brian.
00:46:03
Bella (BB)>> I think a man if a man can come to me and tell me how he feels in general or to me, that to me is like the strongest thing you can do. >> Well, let me [ __ ]
00:46:14
Ava (Sushi)>> Let's test this out, though. >> First date, the guy cries. >> That's different. That's different. You don't cry to a girl friend that you meet like like I don't I didn't meet solo and start freaking crying like >> that would be emotionally vulnerable.
00:46:28
Lexi (Escort)That would be >> Yeah. But I was going to say so like >> hold on one second. So if you're coming to me as a partner and you're like on the first date you're getting a little too vulnerable. I'd be like that's too soon. Just like me and you and with
00:46:41
Lexi (Escort)anybody at this table to trauma dump anything on you guys. It would be way too soon. But if you're in a relationship with somebody and you want to build that authentic connection where you're able to like hold that space and
00:46:53
Lexi (Escort)create vulnerability with your partner in longevity, you know what I mean? Yes, you don't have to be at a restaurant and be like, "Oh my god," crying and like letting all those emotions out, but when
00:47:03
Lexi (Escort)you're able to express your emotions in a positive way, just simply communicating just like this to your partner, that's different. You know what I mean? being able to talk to your
00:47:14
Lexi (Escort)partner and be vulnerable and be like, "Hey, I don't like this. I don't agree with this. This makes me feel some type of way." Versus being like crying or screaming because when you start to bring in those negative emotions, that's
00:47:26
Brian Atlaswhen that's not cute. And it's like, >> well, you know what I mean? >> When we're talking about vulnerability, so you're just saying the guy has a base level of >> uh problem solving,
00:47:39
Brian Atlas>> I think, >> and communication. I I guess you guys will have to specify what you mean when you say men should be vulnerable. >> Emotional intelligence like being >> What does that mean though? What is emotional intelligence?
00:47:50
Lexi (Escort)>> It means to be able to regulate your emotions, talk about it. >> Yes. Be able to communicate and >> what's Give me an example. >> Being a regulate being emotionally
00:48:01
Lexi (Escort)regulated means being able to a identify the emotion that you're having. Once you identify the emotion that you're having, you can be start to say, "Okay, how does this emotion resonate with me and how I'm feeling? Where do I feel this
00:48:14
Lexi (Escort)emotion?" That would be three. Where do I feel this emotion inside my body? And how can I actively process that and vocalize that to the group of people that I'm speaking with instead of being like, "Hey, I'm pissed off. I'm upset."
00:48:27
Lexi (Escort)Because as soon as you're activated and your amydala is activated, you can't calm down and relax yourself. So, if you're able to recognize a pattern within yourself of being like, "Hey, this person said something to me, you
00:48:40
Lexi (Escort)upset me, I don't agree with what you said, and you're able to analyze that and be like, well, why would that trigger me?" And, you know, go within and seek within, you can get a lot of
00:48:52
Brian Atlasanswers for that. >> I'm going to respond in just a moment, but Mr. Nobody has paid the sim tax. Thank you, man. Appreciate it. >> Mr. Nobody donated $200.
00:49:04
SPEAKER_00All right, Lexi, I'll admit it. I've been sing. But don't worry, I paid the simp tax, compliments upfront, loyalty in full, and maybe a coffee. So, yeah, call it simp energy, but it's all
00:49:17
Brian Atlasinvested in you. >> Thank you. You guys are so sweet. Thank you for supporting me. >> All right, cool. Uh, thank you, Mr. Nobody, for the TTS. Well, I think what you're describing is just healthy
00:49:28
Brian Atlascommunication styles. I guess I'm looking for an example of a scenario in which a man would be hesitant to be vulnerable, but he should be vulnerable. >> Go ahead.
00:49:40
Kayla (Addiction)>> During funerals, a lot of a lot of men, well, not a lot, but well, I guess I could say a lot do like kind of don't show emotions during
00:49:50
Kayla (Addiction)time of death and griefing and grieving. um both my brothers for example, you know, it's just men always say I have to be strong for my family. But sometimes >> what's wrong with that though? >> There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing
00:50:03
Kayla (Addiction)at all. But what I'm saying is sometimes it's okay to let go because if it's the other way around, let's say it's like the man's mom or dad, you know, and we and the woman has to be there to comfort
00:50:14
Kayla (Addiction)them. It is okay to be not be okay. And that goes for all sexes. Doesn't just apply to women. Doesn't apply to men. Um, women shouldn't be so emotional and men shouldn't be so emotionless and it's
00:50:27
Brian Atlasreally the idea of it >> balance. >> Exactly. >> Well, I think you're you're using a very easy example there. I don't think even other men would find fault in somebody
00:50:38
Brian Atlashaving a moment of vulnerability or even crying at a funeral. Although although I I would say it depends who uh your parents or something. Uh, I think that's
00:50:49
Brian Atlastotally justified for for a man to cry under those circumstances. Uh, what kind of funeral are we talking about here, though? Like, who's what what's the distinction when it comes to
00:51:02
Kayla (Addiction)who's the relative? >> The mother of the the boyfriend or the mother I mean the father of the boyfriend. Um, just somebody on the your spouse's
00:51:13
Brian Atlasum family. Uh, like some people aren't close to their in-laws. Yeah, I'm totally fine if >> Yeah. >> Yeah. If man wants to cry because his mom or dad died, that seems justifiable. >> Well, what I'm saying to me after the
00:51:26
Kayla (Addiction)fact though, you know, some men, you know, okay, yeah, a funeral's over, burial's over, but then after the fact, grieving is a long process. There's like 10 stages of it. And sometimes men don't
00:51:37
Kayla (Addiction)that's why going to therapy would be beneficial in this case because to help them through the grieving process instead of just having one emotion which is I'm angry at the world. Um I hate God
00:51:48
Kayla (Addiction)or so so what so forth. I mean I work with men and women all day and men go in there and say I've never I've never got the chance to grieve it because I just and that's why they're in my rehab
00:52:00
Kayla (Addiction)center. You know what I'm saying? >> Mhm. So there's a lot of things that I mean essay abuse and things like that that happen in young boys and they never they never they're too afraid to come out and share what happened to them and
00:52:11
Kayla (Addiction)that's why they end up you know where they end up without the help of therapy or a counselor or somebody just support in that level. Well, I think there are practical applications to therapy for
00:52:21
Brian Atlasspecific things if you're actually going to overcome a specific childhood trauma or perhaps you're dealing with like anxiety or panic attacks, something like
00:52:30
Brian Atlasthis. But sort of a generalized malaise, I don't think is especially for men, is effectively treated through therapy. I think there's actually far better
00:52:40
Brian Atlasmechanisms for, you know, if you're just sort of vaguely unhappy, vaguely dissatisfied, vaguely slightly depressed, I don't really think therapy,
00:52:51
Ava (Sushi)especially for men, is helpful. >> I can say >> I think that you're speaking for like 4 billion people right now.
00:53:02
Brian Atlas>> Yeah, I'm speaking in general. I suppose there are some men who can talk about their do talk therapy and it can help but generally speaking I don't think and I think statistics show this when
00:53:15
Brian Atlasthey've pulled people who are involved in the who do therapy >> talk therapy is not particularly effective especially for men >> now if you're trying to combat a specific thing >> then yes but I mean I can give you my
00:53:26
Brian Atlasown anecdotal experience uh and this is more so like when I've ever talked about an issue with like a parent or something there's something that's bothering me. Often times I find talking about it just makes me more frustrated
00:53:38
Brian Atlas>> and I'd rather and often times I in situations where I don't talk about it a day two days later I've already forgotten about the thing that was upsetting me. I find it's just much more
00:53:49
Bella (BB)easy to just be like is this really going to be an an issue in a day or two? >> Does that apply when the thing that made you upset is like another person who would like to talk about it? >> What do you mean? I mean like you're
00:54:01
Brian Atlassaying that instead of addressing the issue, you'd rather just like let it fade away from your brain. >> Well, so if there's an interpersonal issue that needs to be resolved. >> Oh, okay. So that's what I mean. >> Yeah. I wouldn't stonewall a girlfriend
00:54:12
Brian Atlasin in a relationship, but if it's like more on an individual level, something's upsetting me or whatever. I find it far more effective like, you know, I remember I recall when I was a bit younger, my parents would be like, "What's what's going on, Brian? You want
00:54:25
Brian Atlasto talk about it?" And sometimes I would engage there and I would just be ruminating while having the conversation about it and I'd just it'd almost be like reliving the thing that made me upset
00:54:37
Brian Atlas>> and it would just get me upset. And then there'd be other times where they'd be like, "Hey, you want to talk about and be like, "No, I'm good. I just need a >> I just need some time alone." >> And that was way better than just getting my parents all stressed out. Oh
00:54:49
Brian Atlasmy god, he's upset. Blah blah blah. It's way better for me to just go and deal with it and just be like whatever and then but the other really quick and I'll let you make your point. I think that the other thing is people claim to be depressed or whatever dealing with
00:55:03
Brian Atlassomething. >> Uh I think a lot of the time that's because their life circumstances aren't in check and going to the wasting your time in therapy >> for your life circumstances.
00:55:15
Brian Atlasyou're not going to really have an improvement in said life circumstances by talking to a therapist, >> but you can like recognize that by talking to a therapist.
00:55:24
Brian Atlas>> Well, for example, like if I I think as a man, go get in really good shape. >> You're on to something. >> Hold on. As a man, go whatever. Like,
00:55:36
Brian Atlaslook, there's serious issues that I think seeing a professional is absolutely warranted. But if you're again vaguely unhappy, vaguely
00:55:43
Brian Atlasdepressed, go to the gym, get uh cut out the drugs, the alcohol, eat healthy,
00:55:54
Brian Atlasget money, and then if do those things, try get those things. And then if you're still depressed afterwards, you've achieved the things you want to achieve, then maybe consider going to a therapist. >> Yeah. But if you're just like eating
00:56:07
Brian Atlaslike [ __ ] and you're just, you know, whatever, not in good shape and >> smoking all day, >> you're doing drugs and drinking and, you know, your sleep's all [ __ ] up. >> No, definitely like correct your personal choices before you go and spend money on
00:56:20
Lexi (Escort)>> Yeah. Um >> Okay. So, you're statistically proven your body wants to go through whatever trauma, whatever negative emotion you have for 90 seconds. So after you've processed it, so it's going back to what
00:56:32
Lexi (Escort)you were saying about how you were talking about it and then you want it to stop, like you feel worse when you keep bringing it up. Well, it's because your body processed it for 90 seconds and wants to get rid of that. So it's like you talk about it, you've talked about
00:56:45
Brian Atlasit for 90 seconds and then your body automatically wants to return back to homeostasis. So like if you're able to do that, >> these are you saying these conversations are 90 seconds? Anytime I've ever had
00:56:57
Lexi (Escort)like a let's talk about our feelings conversation it's been like body mechanically longos inside your body I don't care what the conversation with or who it is your body naturally wants to
00:57:09
Lexi (Escort)get whatever was disregulating your system it wants to process it for 90 seconds and then go back to homoasis
00:57:17
Lexi (Escort)where you're regular right so if you continue to press the issue after 90 seconds and you're Like of course it's going to heighten your senses because it's like your body is trying to get
00:57:30
Brian Atlasback. >> Well, if that was if that was the case, why aren't therapy sessions only or excuse me, 90 seconds? >> I I don't know. So, what I was saying, okay, is >> if you're not open to the idea of doing
00:57:42
Lexi (Escort)therapy, something that could be beneficial is lifestyle coaching because we're not here to fix, save, or rescue you for any from any of your problems, but we are here to integrate healthy lifestyle modalities into your life to
00:57:56
Lexi (Escort)be able to process those things. So, like you mentioned, physical activity, breath work, sunlight, eating clean, all those things. >> Oh, no. Go ahead. I was just going to agree with >> No. Yeah. And so that's why I've decided
00:58:07
Lexi (Escort)to be in the integrative healing arts therapy because it's like that's what you're saying. Um you can do all these things like get light, eat clean, and you know improve your mental health
00:58:19
Lexi (Escort)versus getting help from a therapist. You know what I mean? And these life coaches are just here to guide you. They don't necessarily tell you what to do or they make plans for you to kind of like
00:58:31
Lexi (Escort)what you want to work on and tailor that to that. You know what I mean? So, >> I have a response. But first, we're going to let some chats come in. >> GMD Jim donated $200.
00:58:41
SPEAKER_00Stop being our slur. There is no intelligence in emotions. It is just the opposite. Men, do not let 304s manipulate you into being weak and
00:58:52
Brian Atlaspathetic. Be stoic. Be a man, not a woman. >> Jim, thank you for the TTS. Lexi, can you scoot your mic to the edge of the table? Not just to the edge of the table. Yo, Jim, thanks
00:59:04
Brian Atlasfor the TTS, man. Appreciate it. Look, I do think there is a lot of value when it comes to being stoic. And then I do kind of want to quickly get back into though this idea of being vulnerable,