She Is Dating 15 Men?! 100+ Body Counts?! Brian LOSES It (GETS TILTED)?! E-GIRLS! | Dating Talk #179

Date: 2024-07-17
Duration: 7h 29m

Identified Speakers

SPEAKER_01TTS Reader(audience)
SPEAKER_03Mel(guest)
SPEAKER_04Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)(guest)
SPEAKER_06Brian Atlas(host)
SPEAKER_07Andrew Wilson(guest)
SPEAKER_08Paula(guest)
SPEAKER_09Alex(guest)
SPEAKER_13Lele(guest)

Key Moments

00:12:12
QuoteAmber discloses she is currently dating 10-15 men simultaneously; confirms seeing 3 different men in past 3 days

"uh how many would you say you're currently dating uh involved with 101 15 I don't know something like around that"

00:15:03
QuoteAmber reveals half of her roster are "munches" — men who perform oral sex on her without intercourse

"well half them are munches so I don't know what to count... it means that they just go down on her and they don't actually have [sex]"

00:16:54
QuoteLele self-describes as "a good friend with a fat ass that looks good from behind"

"I'm a good friend with a fat ass that looks good from behind so funny"

01:19:08
QuoteLele discloses body count of 100-150, counting all genders as pansexual

"my body counts probably somewhere from like 100 to 150... I still ended up in a committed happy healthy relationship and my partner is aware of my body count and has never made me feel less than"

01:26:08
QuotePaula reveals she was a sex addict with body count over 50, after first husband left when she had 4 kids

"it's over 50 okay... this was pre-show you provided this in the pre-show kind of my mea culpa anyways to kind of stop being ashamed of what I did... I went through a series of addictions basically trying to figure it out"

02:07:08
ControversyBrian reads woman's notes app — entry about spitting partner's cum into his mouth after he refused to kiss post-oral; Brian calls it sexual assault

"I actually think that's sexual assault that's crazy... because it's boundaries... he had a boundary of being uncomfortable kissing after that"

02:42:20
QuoteAlex reveals she cuddled wild bears as a child in Russia

"when I was a kid... I was in the woods and... we have bears in my Village... I would give them berries and they would be like really cute and like just like very cuddly"

02:48:13
QuoteAlex says she would choose death by bear over any other scenario — "only bear only bear"

"I want to have a pet bear one day... I don't care if it kills me I'd love to just hug a bear and if it kills me it kills me... only bear only bear only bear"

03:14:50
ControversyAndrew Wilson joins call-in and immediately begins attempting to get Grace to answer the self-rating question

"my name's Andrew by the way... so to the gal in the red dress... so if you were to say that um you had 1,000 people who were holding up those little signs and you were in the beauty pageant what do you think most of the signs would say"

03:22:20
ControversyBrian refuses to move on until Grace gives a self-rating — standoff lasts 10+ minutes; Grace gives non-answers ("zero", "nine", "everyone is a 10")

"we're not moving on until you answer the question... I am inclined to do so... you're not going to ask a question we're going to sit here in silence until she answers the question"

03:59:25
QuoteAndrew challenges Margarita: argues her 53yo partner values her physical attractiveness more than her intellect

"I'm guessing that he really values you for your intellect huh... or does he perhaps value you more because he thinks you're young and hot"

05:04:50
QuoteLele reveals ex-boyfriend secretly recorded women's feet in bathroom stalls and filmed her mother's cleavage

"I found like a bunch of videos like videos of him like recording my mother like zooming in on her like cleavage... and then I found videos of him in women's bathroom stalls trying to record their feet underneath"

06:14:00
ControversyAlex refuses to define what a woman is — "everything is a spectrum" — Brian says "I can already tell that I don't like you"

"honestly I cannot give you an okay you know what yes I will... personally on gender I cannot give you a defining answer on anything because I think everything is a spectrum... I can already tell that I don't like you"

Topics Discussed

00:00:16
Introductions & Show Announcements

Brian introduces show, plugs streamlabs/twitch/merch. Guests introduce one by one: Amber (22, Studio City, social media/OnlyFans, pansexual), Mateline (22, Denver/Studio City, tattoo artist), Alex (26, Santa Barbara/Russia, artist, age-gap relationship), Lele (22, Ohio/LA, OnlyFans), Grace (19, Sacramento, UCSB math student), Paula (53, Dallas TX, chef/mom of 4), Mel (19, Sydney Australia, law student), Margarita (34, LA, rock band vocalist/author). Andrew Wilson announced as call-in guest expected around 8:00 p.m. Pacific.

00:09:11
Amber's Roster: Dating 10-15 Men Simultaneously

Brian interrogates Amber about her dating habits: currently sees 10-15 men, saw 3 different men in the last 3 days, has seen 3 in one day. Half her roster are "munches" (only oral sex). All partners know she sees other men. Pansexual but currently only dating men. Brian blames the men for tolerating it, calls them "Sims." Paula argues most good men wouldn't tolerate it. Discussion of whether Amber's honesty makes it acceptable. Title reference: "She Is Dating 15 Men?!"

00:09:11
Relationship Status Round

Full relationship status round. Amber: single, 10-15 men roster. Mateline: new boyfriend 2.5 months, monogamous. Alex: age-gap relationship (26F / 53M, ~1 year). Lele: boyfriend 7 months. Grace: single 2 months, longest relationship 5 months. Paula: married (husband doesn't know her full past). Mel: single 6 months, only one 3-year relationship (ended over religious differences). Margarita: engaged ~2 years (returning guest, same engagement as before). Discussion of parents' relationships — most guests come from divorced families.

01:21:00
Body Count Round & Debate

Brian goes around the table for body counts. Lele: 100-150 (pansexual, counts all genders). Amber: ~100 (per TTS donor estimation). Mateline: less than 5. Alex: less than 5. Grace: less than 5. Mel: less than 5. Paula: over 50 (was sex addict after first husband left). Margarita: not stated. Extended debate about whether body count matters to men, whether men are hypocritical for caring, Lele argues double standard (men get praised for same behavior), Paula's journey from sex addiction to high-value woman. Brian argues body count correlates with pair bonding issues.

01:24:51
Hinge Dating App Discussion

Brian shows clip of woman complaining about Hinge's 8-match limit. Panel discusses: Mateline says she gets 20-30 matches daily, doesn't message first. Brian asks if anyone has used apps just out of boredom without real intent. Mateline admits to "hinging it out." Discussion of moving off Hinge to Snapchat to verify non-catfish. Andrew Wilson joins (call-in) around end of this section.

01:33:00
Airport Abuse Video React

React to viral video of woman screaming at man in airport. Discussion of why bystanders didn't intervene (gender reversal of norm). Some guests argue men have choice to leave abusive situations; others note beaten wife syndrome applies to men too. SPEAKER_06 (Brian) questions whether women's initial response (blaming man for staying) reflects a double standard. TTS donation asks if guests' husbands would have stayed knowing their body count.

01:45:00
Physical Attractiveness Standards & Facial Structure

Brian argues that women have a wider range of what can be deemed physically attractive vs men (facial structure, body type). Discussion of whether dad bods are genuinely attractive vs cope. Women argue men can glow-up through gym more effectively than women. Brian counters that the aspirational female body type (slim) is more easily achievable than the aspirational male body type (Hugh Jackman/Thor physique). Discussion of short men vs tall women, height preferences, D1 babies. Paula on wearing heels for professional respect in sales.

01:51:50
Relationship Dynamics & Women with Beautiful Faces Dating Mid Men

Brian asks if anyone has seen attractive women with mid men — unanimous yes. Discussion of why this happens: women rate personality above looks more than men do; men decide within 5 minutes which category a woman falls into. Brian argues women have wider "attractive range" — both sharp and soft jawlines can be attractive in women. Lele notes body can compensate for face in women's attractiveness. Discussion of societal beauty standards across cultures and history.

02:22:00
Kiss List / Notes App React

Brian reads from a woman's "notes app kiss list" that a guest submitted. Notable entries: took a man's virginity (he said "that's it? I've done that" afterward), skunky weed causing whiskey dick followed by tip-slapping, woman who spat partner's cum into his mouth after he refused to kiss after oral sex. Brian calls the last incident sexual assault ("that's actually sexual assault — he had a boundary"). Extended discussion about consent, boundaries, and whether retaliating with force would be justified.

02:42:20
Man vs Bear in the Woods

Classic "would you rather encounter a random man or random bear in the woods" question. Results: Amber — initially bear, then uncertain. Mateline — initially bear (thought man was malicious), changed to man when Brian clarified random/neutral scenario. Alex — bear unconditionally (loves bears, cuddled them in Russia, would die by bear only). Lele — bear. Paula — man. Mel — man. Margarita — unclear/uncertain. Brian rephrases multiple times. Alex's extreme bear preference leads to extended segment: Brian asks about 10-minute room scenario; she still picks bear. Brian attempts to arrange bear cage segment on stream. Discussion of legality of bear cage consent waivers.

03:14:50
Self-Ratings & Female Narcissism Debate

Brian asks guests to rate themselves 1-10. Andrew Wilson joins at ~3:14:50. Grace refuses to give any number for 10+ minutes — says "zero" and "nine" both sarcastically, then "everyone is a 10." Brian and Andrew try different framings (beauty pageant crowd of 1000, own Gaze standard). Others had already given: Margarita (34, implied self-aware). Grace eventually not given a clear rating. Brian and Andrew debate whether refusing to rate is narcissism or insecurity. Discussion of whether women in general have inflated self-assessments. Lele defends Grace — says she's clearly not a narcissist from context.

03:45:00
Women Peak Looks Age & Magic Wand Question

Brian asks each guest: will you be better looking in 10 years? Alex argues she will peak in her 40s (cites grandmother's genes); Andrew challenges her by asking why she doesn't use makeup to look older if she believes that. Brian uses a magic wand scenario: advance appearance 20 years with no health impact — would you do it? Alex would advance to look like her 40s; wouldn't advance to 60 because skin would sag. Andrew points out she admitted 40s is the peak, then later the skin sags, which is internally consistent with the standard view. Long debate about whether beauty standards are universal or culturally relative.

03:58:40
Age Gap Relationships & Do Men Value Intellect in Women

Extended debate about Margarita's age-gap relationship with her 53yo partner. Andrew Wilson challenges that the man values her physical attractiveness primarily, not her intellect. Margarita defends intellectual conversations (metaphysics, quantum, consciousness, psychology, world perception). Andrew pushes back on her definition of metaphysics. Brian mediates. Discussion of men's relative valuation of female intellect vs youth/appearance vs "baggage." Andrew argues men select for youth and low baggage above intellect. Margarita argues he could choose younger women if that were the only driver.

04:42:20
Pearl Discussion (Prior Episode)

Lele mentions that she appeared in a prior all-women episode that also featured Pearl (a controversial figure). At the time she didn't know who Pearl was. After seeing Pearl's clips on TikTok afterward, Lele strongly disagreed with Pearl's views — specifically: Pearl said racism was "embellished" and that women shouldn't vote. Lele declines to dig further because Pearl isn't present to defend herself.

04:43:40
Marriage Without Religion Debate

Paula argues marriage is a spiritual covenant for men without religious grounding — asks why non-religious men should marry given divorce rates. Lele argues marriage can signal commitment beyond religion (ceremony, ring, family presence). Brian sides with Paula's skeptical position. Discussion of divorce risk, financial exposure for men, and whether marriage is essentially just marrying the state. Andrew Wilson agrees marriage for secular men is difficult to justify rationally.

05:04:50
Lele's Ex Boyfriend Voyeur Story

Lele reveals that a prior boyfriend was secretly recording women: zoomed in on her mother's cleavage, filmed her friend at the pool, and had videos of women's feet from underneath bathroom stalls. She found these on his phone while he was gaming and immediately exposed him publicly.

06:14:00
Feminism & Gender Definitions

Extended discussion of feminism — whether guests consider themselves feminists, what the word means to them. Alex cannot/will not define what a woman is ("everything is a spectrum"). Brian says he immediately dislikes her for that answer. Andrew and Brian debate whether modern feminism is "anti-men" in practice. Various guests give different positions. Discussion of pay gap, equal rights, women in the draft, gender-based medical research bias. Alex argues female doctors brought attention to the issue themselves. Andrew disputes this framing.

07:15:00
Final Questionnaire & Wrap-Up

Brian wraps with final discussion, thanks Andrew Wilson (who stays for full show despite joining late as call-in). Brian says it's been 3 hours without the show and thought the conversation was good. Twitch raid coordination with Andrew. Brief comments on Brian getting "tilted" during the episode (Grace's self-rating standoff). Brian references Madison and Morgan doing a Twitch exclusive stream. Show ends with goodbye round.

Transcript

Page 1 of 9
00:00:16
Brian Atlaswelcome to the whatever dating Talk podcast where we try to make sense of the modern dating hellscape I'm your host Brian Atlas thanks for tuning in tonight you could have been anywhere in the world but you're here with me I appreciate that we're coming to you live from Santa Barbara California every
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Brian Atlasprime if somebody can test it out perhaps our twitch is scuffed we also do twitch exclusive streams Madison streamed exclusively on there yesterday with uh Morgan was also there she uh
00:01:52
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00:02:05
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00:02:16
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00:02:50
Brian Atlasthe description uh we got also got review bombed on that well it's just star bombed I guess so uh Rus five stars on Spotify thank you guys appreciate it disclaimer the views expressed by the guest do not necessarily reflect the
00:03:02
Brian Atlasviews of the whatever Channel with that said without further Ado we're going to have the guests introduce so please tell us your name age location and occupation
00:03:11
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)go ahead hi I'm Amber I'm 22 and I'm from Studio City um and I do social media and like event stuff and yeah okay
00:03:25
Brian Atlas22 yes uh so you do social media yeah like what kind um just like whatever do you
00:03:34
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)do any adult content uh I have yeah have past tense no well yeah past tense like only fans do you currently have an only fans yeah so adult content past tense
00:03:47
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)well I've never really done it or posted it mhm okay but you do have the O M okay gotcha what about you hi my name is mateline I go by mths I'm 22 I also am
00:03:58
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)from Studio City um and I'm an artist and a tattoo Apprentice yeah all right you do any content I don't creation okay cool no uh how long you been t uh tattooing for I
00:04:10
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)actually just moved here two weeks ago to California um so I just started uh so where you from originally then I'm from Denver Denver Colorado Denver Colorado yeah all right and uh have you your the
00:04:22
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)tattoos you do have you did them yourself I freehanded uh most of my tattoos yeah that's impressive very cool very cool what the uh can you show us the the fist ones it says Angel Baba oh
00:04:33
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)it it says angel baby it's like I know the L is kind of oh it's on the thumb I see okay Ang Ang baby there you go right it looks like it uh yes it's my like
00:04:44
Alexnickname back home my friends call me angel baby cute what about you um hi my name is Alex uh I'm 26 and I'm from here Santa Barbara and I'm an artist and a
00:04:56
Alexcreative consultant um where are you from before you and before that I was well all over California but I'm originally from Russia all right cool
00:05:07
Lelewelcome welcome what about you welcome back um my name is l and I'm 22 years old um I do content creation I do only
00:05:18
Lelefans specifically o h e l l e baby just saying if you want it um and then um I also did do real estate and I have my cosmetology license but I can't currently use it in the state of
00:05:30
LeleCalifornia and where you where you from I'm originally from um Ohio but I live in LA now in Studio City with these two girls all right very cool welcome what about you hi my name is Grace uh I'm
00:05:41
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)from Sacramento originally and I'm a student at UCSB age uh 19 sorry all good and what do you study at UCSB I study
00:05:49
Brian Atlasmathematics math oh okay interesting uh I was actually interestingly enough I uh I was doing some math research really
00:05:59
Brian Atlasyesterday on the all these unsolved um unsolved math problems and it's actually really rather fascinating uh so hopefully by the end of the show
00:06:12
Brian Atlasyou can maybe help us solve one of these are you familiar with can't promise anything the the Yang Mills existence in mass mass Gap do you think we could maybe CRA take a crack never even heard
00:06:24
Brian Atlasof that but I'm that the Birch and Swinton dire conjecture could we nav your Stokes existence and smoothness could we maybe sounds exhilarating different
00:06:34
Brian Atlaslanguage are you familiar with mandal BR set the mandal BR set Nick I'm going to send you I'm going to send you the mandal BR set sounds great and maybe we'll take a crack at it during the show
00:06:45
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)sure um well that's cool though that's cool um yeah thank you and so you after University do you have a sense of what you want to do uh not really I just think it's really powerful for a woman to have like either like an engineering or like a math degree or something like
00:06:58
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)that cuz not a lot of women have that kind of stuff and I feel like I want that as a very independent woman I want to be able to like do that for myself okay so uh no sense though yet anyways cuz you're you're going into your
00:07:10
Paulasophomore junior year uh sophomore sophomore year okay cool what about you my name is Paula I am 53 years old um my
00:07:19
Paulaoccupation is by trade I'm a chef but mainly I'm a mom of four currently um
00:07:27
Paulaall adult kids and and um what else uh where are you from oh I'm originally from Southern California but
00:07:37
MelI moved to Dallas Texas about 20 years ago okay so cool um I'm Mel I'm 19 from Sydney
00:07:48
Brian AtlasAustralia and I'm studying lore at the moment and I work at a firm all right and so you're in uni right now is that cor okay so you're and you're you said
00:07:58
Brian Atlasyou're studying law yes all right and uh what brought you to uh to California just on vacation or whatever podcast or yep just on holiday okay cool what about
00:08:10
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)you my name is Margarita I'm 34 years old I live in LA um and I have a band I have a rock band so I'm a musician I do
00:08:19
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)a lot of art I wrote a novel so wow all right welcome welcome can can we hear something you're the you're the lead
00:08:29
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)you're the vocalist right you're the vocalist right I am uh what what genre of rock or what sub genre it's I would say it's cinematic
00:08:39
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)Rock I love a lot of movie soundtrack so it's kind of soundtracking mixed with rock so so fun all right well welcome back you were on our one of our earlier episodes with Michael NES a lot of fun
00:08:52
Brian Atlaswelcome back I think it's been over a year it's been maybe a year and a half uh I'll do the introductions for Andrew Wilson he is uh he's going to be tuning in guys a little bit later on uh
00:09:04
Brian Atlasprobably around 8:00 p.m. Pacific time so stay tuned for that we're going to go around the table once more what is everybody's current relationship status so are you single talking stage situationship Friends with Benefits
00:09:16
Brian Atlasrelationship married polyle sex cult Harum whatever it may be if you're single how long have you been single and what's the longest relationship you've ever been in go ahead oh gosh I don't
00:09:28
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)know how to answer that I mean I'm into the mic oh um my relationship status I'd say I guess is single I guess you guess single okay so there's a guy
00:09:40
Brian Atlasin the picture then yeah I see people oh multiple okay how many uh are you uh orientation huh orientation straight gay by uh I don't really have one I don't
00:09:51
Brian Atlasreally pansexual so you'll date women you know I would okay so I'm just asking are you currently dating a couple men
00:10:01
Brian Atlascouple women what's couple men yeah any women uh no no okay uh but you have dated women in the past or okay how many
00:10:10
Brian Atlasmen are you currently uh dating I don't know you don't know no not really I think it just varies yeah well right now it really
00:10:22
Brian Atlasdepends okay how many men have you seen in the past 14 days I don't know don't look at me look at the ring footage I'm looking at you
00:10:32
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)no um I don't know it really depends cuz I like to have like multiple partners that like it it's just different
00:10:40
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)relationships per person I guess mhm yeah like so are you in the poly thing I'm not really into anything I'm just
00:10:51
Brian Atlasme okay um so you currently do you have anybody you call your boyfriend no God no so these are like sneaky links sort of yeah okay what's the
00:11:04
Brian Atlaslongest period of time that you've been seeing any any of these men that you're currently involved with my longest relationship was not not the question no currently involved with one of these guys who you're currently sleeping with
00:11:17
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)proba have you seen them for 1 month two months 3 months four months 5 months oh um I'm just curious why do you tend to look at her cuz she knows things about me so I she's forgetful okay really
00:11:29
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)forgetful I'll okay sure I live with her so she she knows I look at that's F that's fine um how did you see a guy yesterday yes the guy did you see a guy the day before yes
00:11:41
Brian Atlasdid you see a guy the day before that yes the day before that yes I'll keep going the day before that it's just a yes and are the these are all different guys so the past three days you saw
00:11:51
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)three different guys U no I actually had one back twice and then the other was a new one and then okay and how you typ meet them dating apps typically dating
00:12:01
Brian Atlasapps yeah okay uh typically dating apps um yeah so if you had to like estimate how many guys are currently in the rotation the roster the bench however
00:12:13
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)you want to frame it uh how many would you say you're currently dating uh involved with 101 15 I don't know something like around that I don't really Define anything so I don't really
00:12:23
Brian Atlasknow what to count uh anywhere from like had basically any guy you've had sex with recently I guess
00:12:33
Brian Atlasoh 10 to 15 10 to 15 yeah sure are they um are they aware of each other they know yeah um and I assume they're probably maybe sle uh sleeping
00:12:44
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)with other women too then most of them no surprising just you yeah okay um and is there that's just cuz I like tend to get along with like guys that are very I
00:12:56
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)don't know shy like shy boys okay like M they're like just sad and I just like like oh come here let me fix you temporarily and so do all of them know
00:13:06
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)that you're seeing other men most yeah well like unless it's like a like one night stand it's not like I'm going to run them down on my whole life okay and you throw some of those in there too the
00:13:17
Brian Atlasone night stands in between the guys who you kind of have an ongoing thing with yeah you'll throw those in too okay my my dating life's just kind is this the biggest that your roster's ever been
00:13:28
Brian Atlasyeah yeah it actually is okay all right uh ever had a boyfriend relationship or yeah I have longest relationship uh longest relationship 3 and a half years
00:13:38
Brian Atlasthree and a half years okay when did that end uh like that was was I think 5 years ago almost wait so you're 22 that
00:13:48
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)ended 5 years ago you would been 17 18 so that was like a high school 15 to 18 16 to 18 uhuh and then my second longest was right after back to back two year and then I went and got into a year and
00:14:00
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)a half relationship and then ever since then I've been single okay and you've been single for how long 2 years now almost I think a year
00:14:11
Brian Atlasand a half maybe yeah excluding like a little gap of when she was like with someone briefly for like 3 months yeah yeah yeah okay got it so now the roster is uh the biggest it's ever been you
00:14:21
Brian Atlassaid currently seeing 10 to 15 men did you ever will you ever see like uh two in the same day yes three in the same day maybe I don't know I'm not really huh
00:14:33
Brian Atlashave you yes yes more than that four in the same day no no no three in the same day okay yeah it's say Okay three in the same day
00:14:44
Brian Atlasum uh that's cool it doesn't necessarily mean I do anything with them like a lot of times I like just cuddle and hang well you said you did say earlier that these are 10 to 15 these are men you're sleeping with maybe you don't sleep with
00:14:57
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)them every time you see them but well half them are munches so I don't know what to count what does that mean it means that they just go down on her and they don't actually have yeah pretty
00:15:06
Brian Atlasmuch and they so you'll have munches that will so you'll you'll have a guy who will go down on you mhm and 24 hours earlier you were having
00:15:18
Lelesex with another man mhm does that happen yes yeah yes we love a woman that can own up to her truth though well I
00:15:28
Brian Atlascertainly uh I suppose I can give you credit for the forthcoming this yeah uh so frankly I kind of blame the men in
00:15:39
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)this situation um I like Sims that's just what I attract they certainly sound like Sims I love it I don't I don't think
00:15:48
Paulamost men would tolerate uh tolerate a knowing a girl is even see more than one guy it would be most good men
00:15:59
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)M would be that defining word is a good I'm really honest and like I communicate every little detail like that goes through my brain so for the most part things tend to work out for me just
00:16:09
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)because of my brutal honesty yeah yeah no I guess uh certainly appreciate the honesty yeah uh it helps these
00:16:18
Brian Atlasmen uh I want to say are maybe this isn't really so much a knock at you as to them they must be kind of desperate though or they just want to have a good time
00:16:31
Leleand like don't want any strings attached and they know that that's not going to happen well does that mean a couple these guys like I've had for years like I've had yeah no 100% okay fair enough fair enough well
00:16:41
Lelethank you for sharing appreciate it I'm a friend I'm just really am I'm a good friend with a fat ass that looks good from behind so funny all right cool cool uh
00:16:52
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)what about you um my current dating life yeah relationship St is I just like to keep things person between me and someone else but I'm a one Vibe kind of girl so one person yeah of course have
00:17:04
Brian Atlasyou ever had a boyfriend situation like this no uh have you ever had a roster no I have not no okay so just one at a time so are you currently seeing
00:17:15
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)somebody mhm okay uh is it a boyfriend what how do you categorize it what's the title he's my boyfriend why why the hesitation it seems like no nothing I just I love to
00:17:27
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)keep my like dating life super private like does that of respect for someone else okay so you're you are in a relationship how long have you guys been dating not that
00:17:36
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)long two months 3 months mhm well that those were two separate numbers so right in between there you want me to put okay 2.5 yeah 2.5 all right um how did you
00:17:49
Brian Atlasguys meet um we met at my birthday party okay happy birthday did you guys know each other like before like were you friends before or yeah we had met each other
00:18:00
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)before like briefly through people all right but never talked longest relationship um I was with a guy for 2 years that ended like a year ago but it
00:18:10
Alexwas the only other person I've ever been with okay what about you uh I am currently in a relationship with my companion
00:18:20
Alexum I forgot the questions just uh how long how long oh oh yeah um well it's going to be uh a year in a couple of days congrats okay
00:18:32
Brian Atlasone year longest relationship um my longest relationship was 5 years 5 years and this is if I recall correctly it's an age Gap relationship correct this one is yes he's 53
00:18:45
Brian Atlas53 26 all right cool he was 52 when we met there you go and you were 25 when you
00:18:54
Leleguys met yes I was cool what about you um so so my current relationship is not my longest relationship I've ever been in um but I do currently have a
00:19:04
Leleboyfriend we've been together for 7 months we had a talking stage for about four months 5 months nearly before we
00:19:14
Lelestarted dating um and my longest relationship that I've ever been in was almost 5 years and it was very on and off cuz it was during high school so
00:19:26
Leleunderstandably so but how many times was it off again on again H I mean how many times did he cheat on me or how many times did I break up with him is the room I'd say like we broke up and got
00:19:36
Leleback together about like five six times okay maybe more I've been there yeah what about you uh I'm currently single so all right currently single longest
00:19:49
Brian Atlasrelationship uh probably like five and a half months 5 months all yeah five months yeah say that uh how long have you been single for only like two months two months yeah really not that long how long and was that the F Monon one that
00:20:00
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)ended two months ago yeah yeah it was was it uh also somebody who went to school here yeah he went to uh the city college to CC why did y all split um I wanted more for like the
00:20:13
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)future than like what he could give me for right then I mean there was nothing like he didn't like ever cheat on me he didn't do anything bad we still like mutuals it was just like wasn't working I needed more like reassurance for the future just something he couldn't give
00:20:24
Brian Atlasme so it was just like like did you guys have a title were your boyfriend girlfriend yeah we yeah we were boyfriend girlfriend so when you say you wanted more reassurance for the future what what would that have looked like we
00:20:35
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)would have been dating for 5 months and then done long distance for 3 years which would have been fine but like all he could promise me was like maybe we can get an apartment afterwards and it was just like I don't know from like where I was from like my stance I wanted
00:20:48
Brian Atlaslike a little bit more than like what he could give me with that wait hold on you were you he was here locally but if I understand correctly he was going to move away sorry yeah he grew up um like
00:20:59
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)couple hours that way and then he came down here for college so then can you tilt your mic down just a bit yeah perfect yeah okay and so but you said you were going to do long distance for three years yeah cuz
00:21:12
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)then he didn't want to go to the Community College down here anymore because it was like uh just like MoneyWise or whatever and then he was going to move back home and then from there he wanted to go like another like four years somewhere else to finish the
00:21:23
Brian AtlasRost of like his two years from like the community college and so he said what what do you mean well you guys were having a conversation about the distance right yeah and then so he
00:21:34
Brian Atlassaid what was his stance there that you felt was not reassuring enough it was just I like to plan my future a lot I don't want to like have three three years in ADV Dan uh well just more of like if I'm dating someone it's that's
00:21:46
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)valid it's a valid yeah if I'm dating someone I want to know like I'm not going to date just to date personally that's just me I'm just like I want to date to marry if I do that or just at least have like an idea just not knowing like it's going to like end like a week later mhm or I'm not saying that's what
00:21:59
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)happened but just like I just like I want that reassurance with that and I'm just like it was just not going to work with the long distance and everything I see okay yeah yeah it's like getting more attached when you know that it's
00:22:11
Lelehas kind of an expiration date on it like exactly it's better to just kind of cut dry yeah and I'm like I loved him I'm like it wasn't like anything bad it was just like didn't work and I know I deserved more than like that okay so you
00:22:23
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)you ended things then yes I ended things yeah got it over text or no in person in person in person it was over it was it okay it was over FaceTime and then he came over and we talked and then it yeah
00:22:35
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)and then like was he was he like fighting for it or was he just like yeah okay he over FaceTime he shut down and then he came over and we talked and he and then he did try fighting for it and I was like I broke up with him on
00:22:47
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)FaceTime and then I was like okay um and then he came over and then we talked and like I thought it was a good talk and then like the next day I was like no like
00:22:59
Brian Atlasbut no hard feelings towards him at all just happens okay all right uh well and you went to ucsp freshman year too right
00:23:08
Brian Atlasokay uh any dating experiences out here in the area are you in a sorority at all I'm not I'm not in sority sorority any partying do you party at all or uh not
00:23:19
Brian Atlasreally I'm like I'm not really what my vibe is I'm like I just work a lot okay try to make that B all right cool and you said you date to Mary are you religious at all I know this Christian
00:23:29
Brian Atlasyeah what denomination what do you mean uh like are you Protestant Catholic um non denominational just Christian not Catholic no okay I grew up Christian
00:23:40
Brian Atlaswith my mom what about with your mom are your parents separated yeah okay they divorced when I was four gotcha okay what about you I am currently married
00:23:52
PaulaI've him and I have been together for about 10 years um my first husband I was together with about 11 or 12 years and
00:24:02
Brian Atlasthat's my longest relationship all right uh kids four from this marriage previous marriage one the first first marriage okay so you have four kids from the
00:24:15
Brian Atlasfirst marriage yes that ended you remarried mhm did uh has your current
00:24:21
Paulahusband adopted your current children no when we got married my kids were 10 12
00:24:32
Paula15 and 16 mhm and um his name is Chad so they just called him step Chad that's cute I love
00:24:41
Paulathat and they're it's all good we were really blessed we did not have any real issues with them accepting him they knew
00:24:50
Paulahe was a good man and so now the time between the two husbands that's that's really interesting J yeah
00:24:59
Paulawhat what happened there um I dated a lot yeah yeah you got to kiss a few
00:25:09
Paulafrogs um yeah to find your prince um like I really I kind of thought it was like female empowerment and I'm going to like do whatever I want and all that
00:25:20
Paulastuff and it just really was kind of a raw deal at the end of the day so uh give us what what are the details on that uh well I was dating online so I'd have
00:25:32
Paulaa roster of 10 12 guys whenever I needed them and this was about 10 years ago so yeah so they would buy me things whatever I wanted you and you met them
00:25:43
Brian Atlasonline you said yep was it uh were you using dating apps or dating apps okay and you had a roster of 10 to 12 and was that the biggest the roster was or was it bigger 10 10 to 12 and
00:25:57
Brian Atlasyou'd be like hooking up with all of them yep okay and you said some of them would like pay uh give you money or buy you gifts were any of them like sugar daddy type Arrangements I'd have a guy
00:26:08
Paulasay like I'm going to pay for your divorce and I'll take care of you what do you need pay for the divorce that's a new one I ain't heard that one before um another guy was like hey let's go out to
00:26:21
Paulalunch and I'm like hey I'm working I got to I got to get this um I was working for a nonprofit and I needed to get some food to do this nonprofit he's like what
00:26:32
Brian Atlasdo you need and I told him and he's like okay I I got it covered come meet me hell yeah and was this a guy you like
00:26:41
Brian Atlashad just met the no oh I had slept with him a couple times before then so damn dudes be doing crazy [ __ ] they do no
00:26:52
TTS Reader[ __ ] bro they do and I I'll buy a girl in and out that's it yeah I the [ __ ] killer of seral donated $69
00:27:03
TTS Readerker can you add this to the end of that line of questions how did everybody's parents meet hope everyone has a great fulfilling and purposeful line of
00:27:14
Brian Atlasconversations welcome back Brian another week y thank you kill cereal appreciate it man um I'll ask the parents meet once we get through the relationship status
00:27:26
Brian Atlasstuff thank you killer of Serial very good to see you in the chat thank you thank you uh by the way Nick just when we go Center you can pull up the streamlabs thing um you know uh actually good point never mind
00:27:38
Brian Atlasyou guys are doing so oh
00:27:45
Brian Atlasokay the uh the 10 to 12 roster mhm your now husband was he dating you while you
00:27:55
Paulahad the roster no okay um I had to grow through that and realize that it
00:28:03
Paulawas eating my soul and I ended up like seriously repenting and begging God to let me live and not feel shame and guilt
00:28:15
Paulaand everything else and then I stopped everything for a couple years and then I ended up meeting my husband and he's an amazing man and he
00:28:25
Paulatook on four teenagers and said I love you enough to let's do this together that's beautiful that's a good man he's
00:28:34
Paulaa very good man how'd you meet him online work though no I actually said to him I said I'm getting offline I'm not
00:28:44
Paulacomfortable anymore doing this it's I don't like it but something kept drawing me back to his profile and so I said here's my number if you want to talk to
00:28:54
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)me call me but I'm done with the online dating a so sweet he Ste upen it and then re it totally Ste up if they wanted to they would he by that what do you mean if they wanted to they would if
00:29:07
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)they wanted to step up if they wanted to be in your life if they want to do that for you they would do that cuz I've been sh that we actually Nick do you remember that H maath video that we reacted to about that if they wanted
00:29:21
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)to oh yeah that's that's a bit different sorry no say you're good it's uh How does it go I think she has it what is it if he
00:29:31
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)doesn't find someone oh if he doesn't find someone he'll is that what you said yeah and you said if they wanted to they would to and so what does that mean just more of like if they wanted to put in the effort they would
00:29:44
Leleif they wanted to be there for you they would if they wanted to show you that they care they would basically like you wouldn't have to ask them you wouldn't have like training your boyfriend or training your significant other to do the things that you would want um they
00:29:57
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)would ask you if they actually wanted to do it or they wouldn't you wouldn't have to ask them to do something if they actually wanted to do it that's valid but it's also like it's not no hate on guys whatsoever but it's also like sometimes guys don't know what you
00:30:09
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)specifically want versus other people so it's more like that's just a communication thing exactly exactly but I'm just like on my first date with my ex he literally like picked me up and he like an hour before like took like set
00:30:21
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)up like this like like wow okay he set up like this blanket and like this like painting and got like my favorite Mexican food and picked me up up we went over and like watched the sunset and we built like a fire first date met the guy like what so I'm just like if they
00:30:34
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)wanted to they would well see that's what you said too do you think I should do that though if they like a girl if they're serious about a girl I think so I think put your all in like that cuz if you do that then I'll reciprocate it
00:30:44
TTS Readerback Buck Kasson donated $71 ladies you're engaged for 2 months and you're soon to be husband earns $200,000 per year ladies would you end
00:30:56
TTS Readeran engagement if he said does not want to have a joint checking account with you no yep yes abolutely there's another
00:31:03
TTS Readerone that's coming in immediately um maybe later vampire lord donated $69 which chat platform do y'all use
00:31:14
TTS Readerwhen watching The Casual chats is it YouTube twitch or another platform I want to be sure I'm on the right one to be seen when chatting uh we don't you do mean vampire
00:31:26
Brian Atlaslore can you clarify you mean what the panel is seeing we don't even put the chats we used to for the first maybe 70 shows actually show the chat but the panelists would just they couldn't
00:31:40
Brian Atlasbehave themselves and they' just be reading the chat the entire time not even paying attention to the conversation so we don't have chat visible for anybody on the panel the only like so the only thing you'll will
00:31:52
Brian Atlasbe able to see really are the reads and the ttss that come through it it would be nice to obviously be able to interact with the normal chat but just the the nature of the show there's ongoing
00:32:04
Brian Atlasconversation so uh yeah but thank you for your TTS man appreciate it but the the primary chat though uh there are times where we do pull up the chat if we have to pull or something that's on YouTube we always pull up the YouTube
00:32:16
Brian Atlaschat going back to B Bucky Larsson he asked you're engaged for two months and you're soon to be husband actually hold on let me Bucky I'm going to come back to that I going to come back to your blanket thing so your first date with
00:32:26
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)the guy you dated for 5 months mhm uh he put like there were roses and there was food it was just it was just a it was just a yeah it was just a blanket and it was like overlooking like the sunset like on like kind of like a cliff so
00:32:38
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)there's like a beach like down below and stuff oh okay that's not too no but then he brought like acrylic paint and brought like my favorite food and like a and then brought like first date first date did he know you were you friends
00:32:51
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)before I met him through a friend in my chemical engineering class I was friends with her and then it was like her boyfriend friend so wait he brought paint so you guys painted yeah we
00:33:01
TTS Readerpainted we literally painted the sunset Reep what you so donated $69 the original Vivian Ward Cruella Deville and a goth Muffin Top walk into
00:33:11
Lelea podcast this looks like a modern Disney film in the making who's cor DeVille you're I'm kidding that makes me the muffin top um you are typing over a
00:33:23
Brian Atlasscreen just want to remind you of that so I'm sure you look just as fried if not more shots fired okay uh TTS has now been bumped guys to back to 200 FYI
00:33:35
Brian Atlashold on let me just make sure that's all set the here uh one sec boys okay uh that should be set TTS has been bumped I will bring back up the ones that already
00:33:45
Brian Atlascame the from Bucky and Killa I will get you guys in uh okay um wait oh Brian i l the prop Warrior from 0 to 60 in wo classic because of
00:33:57
Brian Atlasthe can you boost me DM living on a thin line at the moment okay that's a Kink's reference I don't play World of Warcraft I don't play video games anymore uh I used to four years ago I don't but I don't play video games anymore I still
00:34:11
Brian Atlaslike will occasionally catch twitch streams and stuff but that's the extent of it thank you man appreciate it sorry just oh okay hold on there's a bunch coming in I'll read it just just to be fair I agree with your choice if they could see the stuff being said it would get while on here for sure LOL thank you
00:34:24
Brian Atlasfor the clarification though this is my first time interacting with y'all thank you well that's the other thing too is like if the chat gets nasty then they just shut down and um cuz when you're anonymous people are just going to like
00:34:35
Brian Atlassay nasty things and stuff so did I miss any other 69s that came through Nick no I'm pretty sure you got them I caught them okay all right guys just heads up
00:34:43
Brian Atlaspull it back up TTS is back up to uh hide it for a sec yo crazy thank than hold on hide it for a sec crazy a thank you for the gift at 20 Subs on Twitch appreciate it man thank you thank you
00:34:55
Brian Atlasyou can pull it back up guys TTS is now two 200 read 100 appreciate it guys um okay so oh okay I have a question hold on hold on paint paint like a CR paint you
00:35:08
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)painted like a like he has a can like he brought a canas I will say that was our first original date we had like a double date he was a golfer so like we all went on like just to like see like The Vibes and how did how did he know your
00:35:19
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)favorite food if you guys that was my question he texted me he asked me yeah he asked damn these guys be doing all this extra [ __ ] but I think effort is hot like it just shows that they're
00:35:30
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)interested and I think umh but so it doesn't matter like what length they go to if they show that they care and find something specific to What She Likes what you like here here's the guy's
00:35:41
Brian Atlasperspective effort is hot why can't y'all do that [ __ ] who says we don't who said we don't we do don't I do I know [ __ ] [ __ ] no [ __ ] way I used
00:35:52
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)to clean his house just because he would like after you in a relationship right I mean yeah on the first did you do it no I didn't go to his house second date I didn't go to his house a while right so once the relationship was more established I would buy him some food I
00:36:05
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)would drive him like I would I would go both ways this idea of put guys should put more effort in like it's kind of it's in my opinion it should be 100% 100% both ways it shouldn't be one it
00:36:17
Paulaisn't I'm the saying that was my opinion but being oldfashioned you you want to be pursued as a woman you don't want to be the pursuer and my husband told me he used to take notes when we would talk
00:36:30
Paulaand then he would be like set up the next date based on all our conversations and do something really sweet so it's just like little stuff like that it's like you really want to show me that you love me and I'll and if you do that for
00:36:42
Brian Atlasme I'll do that back because sometimes people in this world they don't want to do that they just want to like just hit it and yeah but then you'll also encounter women where if you do all that extra [ __ ] you come off desperate and like just then she doesn't know your
00:36:54
Paulaworth then you leave her and you find the next woman that appreciates you yeah it's about the compatib it's about the compatibility also it kind of also a
00:37:03
Paulaman a man is secure when a woman appreciates what he does now if a woman's not appreciating it and not showing if they're not showing that they
00:37:14
Paulaappreciate those small things then yeah he he should bounce I feel like everyone should just be appreciative of everyone and everyone should just say I love you I thank you I see you for this and I see what you're doing for me and I
00:37:25
Leleappreciate you for the it's perceived so like if if like a if like a guy were to that I didn't have an interest in were to do that for me then it would be like
00:37:36
Leleperceived as maybe like overbearing or too much or even creepy like why are you taking me to this remote place like what are you doing um hanging off a cliff like that could be perceived differently if you weren't interested in the guy
00:37:48
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)already originally same with taking notes off of my conversations I would be a little creeped out if I didn't like him I'd be like what are you doing but it's like it's sweet it's like you think about me that much that you write down my birthday you think of this you
00:38:01
LeleFaceTime me and be like oh here like I thought of you both of those both of those examples of like a a man doing something like forthright to like show his interest in you both did not cost
00:38:11
Brian Atlasprobably more than anything really like first a first date canvas paint is [ __ ] expensive to a restaurant to I'm an artist it doesn't have to be I I'm a
00:38:24
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)that effort doesn't have to be expensive it doesn't have to it doesn't have to cost money it just has to be like literally pick up a rock on the side of the road and say here you go I literally thought of you and I love you and just like literally anything it also it costs
00:38:36
Brian Atlasnothing to just type something in your notes hold on but there's a difference between the effort that you put in once there's an established relationship and then you're just meeting this person I age you don't really know how they move
00:38:48
Brian Atlasfor example can I ask perhaps both of you a question not to throw you under the bus you're currently having sexual intercourse with 10 to 15 men I would like for you you to make a convincing
00:38:59
Brian Atlasargument that I ought to I ought to extend the kind of treatment mhm that you guys are talking about to somebody who's currently sleeping with 10 to 15 other people you think you still have
00:39:11
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)that treatment with multiple people though yeah you'll still you still get it but there's a question of deserving it and it's temporary I say personally you just have to know your worth and know that you are gorgeous and you are beautiful and that I know you've
00:39:24
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)probably been told this by so many people but genuinely it does doesn't change until you start believing it you are worth to have just one man and to have that man love you so much and just like give you their all I'm like personally I'm Christian so like I'm
00:39:37
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)won't get like religious on here but like just you deserve to have love and respect from someone and you deserve that or many people if that's what you
00:39:46
Brian Atlasdesire because it's about the desire and the want there is a but like so here's this like all right a guy should do this like traditional chivalrous thing he
00:39:57
Brian Atlasshould be chivalrous in my view men only ought to be chivalrous if the woman is whatever the reverse of that is AKA a lady you want gentlemanly treatment you
00:40:09
Brian Atlasought to be a lady she's still going to get it she'll still get it because there's a bunch of simps out there that have no respect for themselves that's totally fine but there's no scenario
00:40:20
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)where I'm going to do all those romantic gestures towards a woman who's entertaining MTI well because that's not what you want no they win the long run the ones that stick around though what's that the
00:40:33
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)ones the ones that stick around though they stay why do you think they stay they out of genuine curiosity out of they're pressed they're pressed to get [ __ ] they can't it's about a relationship more so I build friendships
00:40:45
Leleand stuff for people I sleep with yeah I'm really close friends do you do you think closer to the mic baby he say closer to the mic you're okay you're okay do you think they respect you yeah fully especially since she's being
00:40:59
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)honest with them it's not like she's intentionally like like um I don't degrade me in any way shape or form and no man should ever degrade a woman and no woman should ever Sor I'm not I'm going to just give you a hard line right
00:41:11
Paulanow they don't respect you they don't yeah they don't they have zero respect for you they or they don't have respect for themselves they want your [ __ ] and that's all yeah that is
00:41:22
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)all you are to them it depends on what their defition all she wants to be at the time though yeah that might be all she wants to be at this and like like you s around I mean so exactly what you were saying why would she like I mean you just said like you like you don't
00:41:36
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)care about that stuff you're like I don't mind so she doesn't mind she doesn't mind but like personally I mean I think people go through phases in life too so that's what I'm I think it's fine it's I think it's fixed chat just
00:41:47
Brian Atlasrefresh chat just refresh if you had any lag it's working again sorry guys we doesn't look like we uh I don't see dropped frames so I don't think it was too bad yeah okay go ahead continue I'm
00:41:58
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)just kind of answering your question in a way why would a guy go out of his way on the first date I think it's because he probably met you and he felt how you are and he kind of knew your intentions
00:42:10
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)and what you looking for and he knew what he wanted so I think it's totally cool that he did that for you I agree and I think you if you want that in the future you'll attract people that would
00:42:19
Paulado that for you yeah yeah there's a huge difference in dating to date and there's a huge difference in
00:42:29
Leledating to married dating long obviously can I just interject and say one thing so um and I mean this in like the most respectful way when you were in between
00:42:39
Lelemarriages you were sleeping with roughly the same amount of people um as Amber is sleeping with currently so just like how she is just as deserving as finding the husband that you found that stood up to
00:42:52
Lelethe plate she is too that's just not the stage that she's currently in cuz she's 22 and Liv in La at the same time you are literally eating away at your soul when
00:43:02
Paulayou're doing that it is harmful to your psyche it breaks you down as a human being and one day one day not now might
00:43:13
Paulanot be 10 years might not be 20 years one day you will feel shame for the way you're behaving and if you don't feel
00:43:21
Paulashame for the way you're behaving then you have not grown at all and the thing the thing is the thing is you're if you
00:43:33
Paulachange your behavior now you can get on a different path and you cannot do the damage to your soul but if you continue in this Behavior soul is what can can I
00:43:43
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)interject are you are you looking to find a husband or are you
00:43:50
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)just would you like a would you like a would you like one partner in the future that's not something that you desire think so can can I ask can I ask why just out of curiosity trauma probably just from trauma I mean I've personally
00:44:02
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)had like a lot of trauma in the past as well probably nothing compared to yours or whatever but just like don't ever compare traum everyone that's that's a valid statement but it's just like if
00:44:11
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)you really like everyone deserves that if you're I mean everyone deserves love people have to go through their own path in a way to grow like I don't think anyone can just say you have to do it
00:44:23
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)like this you have to do it like this yeah there's no one right way change your mind you know you're going to change your mind or you might maybe there's a person that'll come across my path and change my mind but I don't see
00:44:34
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)it as of now because I mean I live in LA but everyone's pretty shady there's no one that's loyal no there are people that are loyal everywhere not in La not it's very hard to find people in our scene I agree with but the great thing
00:44:47
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)about Amber's lifestyle is that you don't have to live it we have a choice exactly I will support whatever my friend wants to do that's her life definitely of course she wants to have
00:44:56
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)fun yourself and she feels filled with how she anybody you can find loyal people it just depends on where you're looking like you're not going to find a loyal man in a bar like drinking with like his butt I mean maybe you will but just also like if you go to a party
00:45:10
Alexprobably not going to be like the most like loyal like I'm just like it's also like where you go to find your people but you never know who's actually loyal anyway so you just have to find your
00:45:20
Paulaexperiences if you can't if you can't become a fulfilled person so even though you're here right now you hopefully hopefully will grow
00:45:32
Alexthrough this and look back and go could have done things different but like what is growth really like it's it's different for every yeah but you can learn from your
00:45:43
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)mistakes and still have a different path than you would choose completely and still be completely fulfilled and happy ask you something so you said there's just no nobody in La so if there were
00:45:55
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)would you go a different path maybe I don't know she she will grow and I mean not grow in that way I think you will as long as you portray yourself in that way you'll attract the people that you want to attract by the way you look the way you dress the way you act the way you
00:46:08
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)talk you'll attract the people that are like she's happy with that currently exactly which is totally fine that was just that my opinion on that and it doesn't mean she has to feel shame later on yeah I I personally I'll say this
00:46:18
Leleright now I was on this podcast twice before this and my body count was 100 200 I didn't even know I lost track I didn't care to know and I'm just going to say this right now
00:46:29
TTS ReaderI was in the exact same position James 2029 donated $200 he L smile and everyone on the podcast would the ladies day to
00:46:40
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)introvert SL someone who is not a social butterfly type of guy uh just hands up would you date a introvert I prefer that yeah of course I mean I'm not going to hate a guy on if he's introvert or
00:46:52
Brian Atlasextrovert feel like you're better almost uh yo Jame Jameson Jameson thank you for the 200 TTS man appreciate it thank you thank you go ahead um but like I was
00:47:01
Lelesaying I'm someone that was in the exact same place as Amber is now and um we were both on a [ __ ] [ __ ] crazy Rampage and like I'm just saying like
00:47:13
Lelenow I'm in a committed monogamous relationship which is something I never foresaw for myself but I found a person that I am attached to and was willing to you know completely drop that lifestyle
00:47:25
Lelethat I was doing but in no way do I feel shame for it in no way do I feel like my soul was eaten or I was harmed I was having I was having relationships with
00:47:36
Leleconsenting adults I never was deceitful towards anyone and therefore I know in my in my soul in my heart that I am a good person I am a loyal friend and all of those amazing characteristics that
00:47:48
LeleI'm sure a lot of us have and in no way shape or form am I going to degrade myself or make myself feel shameful for the actions that I had at a time and place would I do it now would I do it again after this relationship ends
00:48:00
Lelehopefully it doesn't but if it were to probably not but that doesn't mean that and yes I'm that means growth for sure like you're expressing but in no way do I feel shameful or like what I did was
00:48:11
Brian Atlasum you can feel however you want to feel about your past actions that's totally fine frankly I I don't think I don't really care how you feel I don't care if you feel shameful I don't care if you
00:48:22
Brian Atlasdon't give a [ __ ] at all about you know past promiscuity this is a dating podcast so from the male purview men don't want to typically most men don't want to date and or marry women who have
00:48:34
Paulaa past or current of promiscuity yeah and I had to change in order to attract a good man now he has
00:48:44
Paulano idea about my past because we've just never discussed I was telling him like you don't need to watch he's watching
00:48:54
Paulabut but um I had to change my ways I had to say if I want a high quality man I
00:49:01
Paulahave to be a high quality woman and that include sleeping with a bunch of people exactly it just it just does you attct the people that you're around yeah
00:49:14
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)I did want to have a conversation that we were having about this effort component here men should men should put in more effort um and I what do you mean do you mean more effort than women more
00:49:25
Brian Atlaseffort in general in general it's I hear I hear these complaints frequently from women that men don't put in any effort men don't put in effort anymore since when have women really ever put in effort when it comes to the initial
00:49:38
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)stages of building a relationship typically in the beginning it usually is the man I just said the man uh I didn't hear what you said I'm sorry I just said they don't but go are hold on let her speak go ahead um I was just going to
00:49:50
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)say cuz typically women or some women like the traditional way more and so do the men so like the men usually Swoon like saying before that's usually I mean that's how I was grown up is the men usually Swoon a little bit more and then they catch the women cuz the women are supposed to be the catch the women
00:50:03
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)aren't in my opinion the women aren't supposed to be the ones chasing that's personally how I've been grown up and I'm just like I think that's like the right way I don't think a woman should ever have to chase a man but I mean if you find someone attractive and stuff then obviously put in more effort from
00:50:16
Paulathere and just like if the guy catches your eye and I will say my mom brought me up and my mom is a little crazy so let's just put that pin in that she told
00:50:26
Paulatold me she said always uh have a relationship with men that like you more than you like them that's true though I've been told that as well because has to be the reverse
00:50:38
Alexbecause the woman has to like the man more than the reverse it that just does not you should be interested that's that's how it is but there's no such thing as equally because interests and
00:50:50
Alexin general like there's so many different levels to the loving and the liking like everyone loves completely different and everyone expresses it in
00:51:01
Alexdifferent ways but it is it does usually work out better when a man just loves more than a woman
00:51:11
Alexbecause a woman is already so emotional emotional is already so invested into everything from the beginning that it just it's it's a it's more heartbreaking
00:51:22
Brian Atlasfor a woman to love more period if that were the case then and have you heard of I don't know if it's exactly a meme but uh women will often complain that they have a bunch of men that are interested
00:51:35
Brian Atlasin them but the guy that they like doesn't like them so how could it possibly be the case that women will turn down dozens of men that are
00:51:44
Brian Atlasdisplaying immense amount of interest in them but have their eye and like putting those guys to the side but have their eye on the guy that they I want him but
00:51:55
Brian Atlashe doesn't want me because it's natural to want what you can't have right but that totally hold on but that totally then your whole thing your argument of well my mom told me that it's better for
00:52:06
Alexthe guy to like you more than the reverse whereas if you still have to like them you still have to like them it's not about like oh you don't like
00:52:15
Brian Atlasthem at all but you just made the argument that the guy has to like you no it works out better but it doesn't
00:52:24
Alexmatter how much it's like it could be like just about the expression and the investment and women are already more invested from the start it's not true
00:52:36
Brian Atlasit's not true at all that's not typically true women have I don't think you understand the degree of sexual optionality that women have compared to men um I actually understand it quite
00:52:47
Brian Atlasquite a bit remember a lot of people at a time okay cool you're making my argument for me so since women have yeah can you stop interrupting so
00:52:59
Brian Atlasbecause women have can somebody this is the second time somebody's phone has gone off that's just my alarm sorry should turn off my alarm I silenced my phone
00:53:11
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)yeah all right so um totally lost my train of thought about the argument that men and then she was saying that she's been with multiple partners at once and you said
00:53:21
Brian Atlasthat that's I was say I lost my train of thought because of the alarm um can somebody you had a thought well let me ask you jump start me here can let me
00:53:32
Amber/Mateline/Grace/Margarita (mixed)ask no no no don't ask me jump start my thought um that the women uh or that the men should like said that the women is more invested in the men in the beginning of the relationship and you were saying That's not typically true
00:53:44
Leleand then she was saying how her mom was saying that um what did your mom say well that that was first that was first and then I said you saying that women women have multiple options talking oh
00:53:55
Brian Atlasyeah the options talking about sexual optionality so there's such a massive Gulf and differential between the sexual optionality that men and women have so an average woman if she was so inclined
00:54:06
Brian Atlasshe could have the same SE like the same amount uh quantity of sexual options as like an aess celebrity male athlete movie star
00:54:16
Brian Atlasmusician billionaire Etc average girl like you your 19-year-old girl who goes to UCSB who studies math you have the equivalent sexual optionality as an A-list celebrity movie star
00:54:29
Brian Atlaswhatever what have you if you wanted to sleep with three guys a day could you yeah but I would well right you you maybe wouldn't want to do that but you could in order for a guy to be able to
00:54:39
Brian Atlassleep with three women a day he has to be in the top 1% of men or be bringing major status or lower standards lower
00:54:50
Brian Atlasstandard lowering standard even even if he lowers his standards he can't [ __ ] three girls day um I have met men who did I have dated met Aver you've met
00:55:01
Brian Atlasaverage dudes who can [ __ ] three girls a day even if they lower their standards I'm they did not even lower their standards all the girls were hot what
00:55:11
Alexyeah I I have dated men I have DED men that have a living I mean a wife and or and then a girlfriend and then they have like three
00:55:23
Brian Atlasmore on you know as well it's a polyamorous he actually said though well yes that okay so to procure a brand new girl that you've never met before either through a dating app or out on the
00:55:34
Brian Atlasstreet do you think that most like what percentage of the average man can pull three girls a day can I add something to answer the question um answer the
00:55:42
Alexquestion well I don't really like men too much so I don't think that there's too many men who can do that without
00:55:52
Alexdoing well I'm not going to go into okay let's say about 25% % of men can do it however it can be up to like 40 if men put in more effort in let's say what