Warren Smith (SNAKE)! Is Chivalry DEAD?! Age Gap HYPOCRISY? She Is 32, BF Is 24?! | Dating Talk #246

Date: 2025-06-09

Duration: 7h 27m

Guests

Brian Atlas

CCrystal (Netherlands)>

CCasey Rivera >

AAlina (Russia)>

KKatrina (Greek)>

WWarren Smith >

Identified Speakers

SPEAKER_01Alina (Russia)(guest)

SPEAKER_02Casey Rivera(guest)

SPEAKER_03Lyanna(guest)

SPEAKER_06Warren Smith(guest)

SPEAKER_07Brian Atlas(host)

SPEAKER_08Katrina (Greek)(guest)

SPEAKER_09Chelsea(guest)

SPEAKER_10Felicity(guest)

SPEAKER_11Crystal (Netherlands)(guest)

Key Moments

IntroAll guests + Warren Smith introduce themselves

Key MomentWarren: fired from teaching after Elon Musk tweeted his classroom video

ControversyBrian: would take lifeboat over wife/girlfriend. Panel erupts.

Key MomentCrystal (32) is dating a 24yo — Brian calls her 'predator' ironically after her age gap critique

Key MomentFelicity's arrest: 115mph chase, hit patrol car, jailed 3 days, charges dropped

Topics Discussed

Guest Introductions

Including Warren Smith (YouTuber, fired after Elon Musk tweet) and Crystal (Netherlands, first US visit).

Warren Fired After Elon Musk Tweet

Viral JK Rowling classroom Socratic discussion. Met Jordan Peterson and Joe Rogan.

Titanic/Male Disposability Debate

Brian: would take the lifeboat. Warren: would stay. Extended philosophical debate.

Age Gap Relationships

Crystal (32) dating 24yo but critiques older men dating younger women. Brian points out hypocrisy.

Oral Sex Debate

Brian's refusal. Throat cancer risk. Dealbreaker discussion.

Felicity Arrest Story

115mph police chase, hit patrol car, jailed 3 days, charges dropped.

Transcript

Page 4 of 8

Brian Atlaswhen I said yeah, she sacrifices her life for mine. Uh yeah, I was saying back on Tinder. I don't use dating apps, but that's a joke. Okay, we

Brian Atlashave D's Nates. Is it a woman's duty to provide her husband sex even if they are arguing? If no, I work a 9 toive job to support her with my body. So when we are

Brian Atlasarguing, can I stop supporting her financially? The [ __ ] What? That's an interesting one. D's nades. Um,

Katrina (Greek)that's an interesting. Anybody going to bite on that? Sure. Yeah. I think it's toxic. Yeah. I feel like that's bordering on the the toxicity and consens like the line of being of it

Alina (Russia)being consensual. Yeah. I think it's toxic to stop doing something that you've been doing consistently just because you're arguing. Like, if you're arguing, you should figure it out. Not say, "I'm going to stop doing this for you that

Alina (Russia)I've been doing all this time." Yeah. But I think he's asking if he's still entitled to having sex with her if they're arguing entitled. I don't think anyone's entitled to anything. Yeah. I

Brian Atlaswonder if uh but like should should there be a scenario

Brian Atlaswhere like like what if the the I don't know where I'm going with this. Like you would all agree though that if a woman stopped having sex with

Chelseaher husband like that totally is green light for him to end the relationship. I think so. Like if she's talking for because if it's like you guys are in an argument, eventually you're going to work through that argument. But if it's

Felicitylike an infinite thing and she's just cutting it off completely, well then yeah, I don't think that's fair. Assuming there's like no reason like no health reason or whatever. Sure. Yeah. I mean, I think

Brian Atlaslike this could apply on both ends. Like maybe the guy is sick or she's sick and neither person wants to have sex. I think that's totally fine. And I think

Brian Atlaseither partner should respect the other partner in that situation. But it's like uh I don't think it would be a surprise like if the wife stopped having sex with

Brian Atlasher husband that he would either divorce her or it could just like introduce I mean he should probably dump her but it would just introduce infidelity. He he might just start cheating on her. Like would you blame somebody if you're

Alina (Russia)they're just like I'm just not having sex with you anymore? It depends. I mean, you should break up like or I don't know. It depends how much you love that person cuz if you really love them so much, you will

Alina (Russia)figure out the issue instead of getting a whole divorce like that's a lot. You know what I mean? Like a divorce is very a big burden on someone's life. I agree with that actually. Just because you haven't had sex, you should do

Brian Atlaseverything that you can to figure out that that issue first and instead of doing a breakup or a divorce. Sure. We have a super chat here from Lucas. Here's a twist to the hypothetical. What if the husband makes

Brian Atlasseven figures per year? Wife is a stayathome mom with no job skills. They have four kids. Who takes the bullet? What would be in the best interest of the kids? By the way, hypothetical does

Brian Atlasnot denote my position. Uh if the husband makes seven figures per year, you basically they have four kids. What would be what? Okay. What would be in the best interest of the kids? That's basically like what

Katrina (Greek)you said earlier. You said if if you were to, you know, let your wife die and you you go and um you survive, you know, your kids would know, but you're the you're the main provider. That's the

Brian Atlassame point that you made earlier. Is it not? Yeah, sort of. I mean, I think my thought on thoughts on this, he says, if you have four kids, so what if the kids are all between the ages of like seven and

Brian Atlas12, so they're not like they don't need to be like breastfed or anything. Um, and like the mom's a stay-at-home mom and the guy's making seven figures per year. I think there's actually a

Brian Atlaspretty compelling argument in this case like it's going to be better for the kids for the uh for the husband to survive. But the wife is a stay-at-home

Alina (Russia)mom. So the m the money that the husband makes would go to her and she is already staying with the kids more than he is. So you could argue that she would still have the resources that he had and she

Alina (Russia)would be providing that motherly role for them and they would have the honorable story of like their father. Okay. It's true. They would have money. I see what you're saying.

Brian AtlasYou're saying that because he's such a high earnner, the the collective uh she's acred enough money from his pre-existing income that's come in to survive. Yeah. But what's she going to

Alina (Russia)do when that money runs out, right? Exactly. Cuz eventually it's going to run out. She could also work if if but she has no job skills. That's in the scenario. She can gain working skills. Everyone can. But is she going to be able to support her children just with

Alina (Russia)no job skills right off the bat? I mean, entry level positions aren't going to provide figure it out. You would be like, "Oh [ __ ] my husband is dead. I have to build up some work skills. In the meantime, I have the money that he

Alina (Russia)provided figures. You're going to watch your kids have figure it out like every other single mom has, but you have to work and then you wouldn't be able to take care of your kids." What if the

Brian Atlascomparison is this for a little while? So it's it's his scenario, but we know that the person is within 6 months is going to like find a new person and then

Brian Atlaswithin another 6 months will remarry to somebody else. So, the single mom with four kids who was or is a stay-at-home

Brian Atlasmom with no job skills, her subsequent partner is probably less likely to be capable of replacing the like seven

Brian Atlasfigures a year is a ton of money. Whereas the single father with four kids who's a seven figure per year owner or per year earner, excuse me, I misspoke.

Brian AtlasI think he's going to have a way easier job finding like finding a commensurate like replacement. Well,

Felicityactually, Felicity dies based on how much they've earned, the state will pay the parent that is still living a certain amount of money based on how much the one that died made. That's only

Chelseaif you have a life insurance policy. I mean, you get money if you have a life insurance policy, but the government doesn't provide you any funds. Um, funding. I know that. I mean, there there is like life insurance. You can get social security like you can you can

Brian Atlaspull from social security for your significant other, but eventually that's going to run out too. It's not a neverending supply of money. Anyways, thank you, Lucas. Appreciate it. Good to see you in the chat, guys. Read is 100,

Brian AtlasTTS is 200 if you want to weigh in on the conversation. Also, uh, Venmo, Cash App, whatever pod. Let me see if I can uh Trevor, thank for the 10 on Cash App.

Brian AtlasJason Bar, thank for the five on Cash App also. Appreciate it. We also have Twitch, guys. Go to twitch.tv/ whatever. Drop us a follow. Drop us a prime sub if

Brian Atlasyou have one. Also, Discord. Discord.gg Excuse me. Discord.gg whatever. Uh, pull up the Twitch really quick, guys. I think it's bugged, boys. I think it's

Brian Atlasbugged. Guys, by the way, it's Warren's birthday. So, somebody buy us a uh we'll do instead of a champagne pop if you want to do like a cake pop. I I don't know. Can I get a cake at this hour? I

Brian Atlasdon't know. Um Jay Brown, thank for the tier one. Guys, it's been it's been two hours since we've had a prime sub. I think it's bugged, boys. Can somebody test out a prime sub in the chat? Thank you. Also, guys, if you want to get Oh,

Brian Atlasthere it is. Humane. Humane. Thank you for the prime sub, guys. Also, if you want to get some merch, big matter. Shop whatever.com. Speaking of which, not speaking of which, uh, Kier, thank for the gifted

Brian Atlasfive subs. Appreciate it. Stifler, ask everyone. Oh, wait, hold on. Let me do this follow-up. Lucas, no, Alina, we all know money runs out. Plus, the expenses are typically commensurate with the

Brian Atlasincome level. She has no job skills or earning potential. What happens then? From a purely pragmatic perspective, the wife is more disposable. She can gain job skills just like everyone else in

Alina (Russia)this world, just like every single mother has in the history of this world. She can spend that time while her money hasn't run out yet to gain the work skills. Then her money starts to run out. She can start to work. It's going to be a struggle. It's not going to be a

Brian Atlasluxurious lifestyle with your husband taking care of you cuz he's dead. So you're four kids though, by the way. Four kids. Yeah. But but you're saying, okay, she can gain the job skills or

Brian Atlaswhatever, but the Okay. of the entire population, what percentage of that population is going to go on and make seven figures a year? She She's not going to make seven figures, right? But

Alina (Russia)the the man was Yeah. She's not going to have the same equal standard of living that she did before. But she's going to have a fivebedroom house. Prioritize. She's going to have to prioritize her kids and put her kids ahead of herself.

Alina (Russia)Let go of certain luxuries. And kids sharing bedrooms now. [ __ ] kids sharing bedrooms. You're going to have to share the bed, sleep on the floor, sleep on the couch, do whatever you need, but you're going to make it work. But do you want

Brian Atlasor the man could survive and he's still making the money and he can still provide the household, but he hasn't spent all that time with the children. He has to work to keep the money coming in. He's going to have to either find

Brian Atlassome stuff. All right. He's a [ __ ] crypto guy. How about that? He caught a crypto pump. And actually, wait, no, that's not fair to Lucas's uh his thing. Anyways, we'll move it on though. We

Lyannahave Stiffler ask everyone to rate their own looks on a scale of 1 to 10. Starting with you. Go ahead. I can't pick seven. I was going to pick seven.

Brian AtlasCan't pick seven. Can I pick half numbers? 7.5. No, just do full do full numbers. I guess eight then. Eight. Okay. What about you? Six. Six. Okay. Go

Brian Atlasfor an eight. Eight. Okay. A four or five? Alina? 6.9. Uhhuh. Say a four. Six. Warren, what about you? Into the

Brian Atlasmic if you can. Five. Five. Five. All right. I'll give myself a five. Uh, also. All right. Wow. Everyone's pretty reasonable here. Look at that. Love it. It's a really based

Brian Atlaspanel. Like one of the most based I know. It's a little little disappointed. Little disappointed in all you guys. Well, I mean, I kind of got them upset with the whole uh the wife should die thing. That was worth my That was the best birthday present.

Brian AtlasYeah. Yeah. I mean, it was good. It was good. It was a good combo. By the way, no hard feelings. We disagree here. No hard feelings. I uh We do need to get Warren a cake, though. We need to get

Brian Atlasyou [ __ ] tanked before the end of the show. It's your [ __ ] birthday. You should have told me. I wouldn't have looked you for your birthday. Get Oh, you don't drink? I drink. I thought you said just get this guy some [ __ ]

Brian Atlasseltzers. some White Claw and uh some some I don't know crystalall crystalall we need a crystalall guys anybody any fans we got a ball of crystalall

Brian Atlaschampagne I you know what it's his [ __ ] birthday it's any any Warren Smith enjoyers in the chat have you ever

Brian Atlashad crystalall no guys Warren Smith he's 38 guys never had crystalall one ethereum crystal it's one ethereum to pop a ball of crystal

Brian AtlasSo, uh, get to it, boys. Get to it. Any Warren Smith enjoyers? Okay. Uh, where were we? We're going to get back to the notes. Nobody. Oh. Uh, do you think you'll be better looking in 10 years

Brian Atlastime? Looks I would hope so, but probably not. Have you just tilt your microphone down a little bit? Yeah, you're good. Uh, from the back, like push it up a little bit. Good. Yeah. Down. Uh, so you're 28. Better looking

Brian Atlasin 10 years time at 38? Most likely not. And then are you better looking now than you when you were 18? Yes. Okay. You're 32. Better looking in

Crystal (Netherlands)10 years time at 42? No. Okay. Uh, you're 32. Were you better looking at 22 10 years ago? I think my style is better, but I don't know if I looked I looked more youthful back then. Okay.

Brian AtlasYou're 26. Will you be better looking in 10 years time and 36? I believe so. Uh, 20 years time, 46. If I'm sticking with my gym

Brian Atlasroutine, I would say so. You age nicely. 30 30 years time 56 better looking I don't think so you're 32 better looking in 10 years time at 42 absolutely not and then

Felicityyou're 32 were you better looking at 22 yes okay uh you're 20 better looking in 10 years time at 30 I don't think so okay 19 better looking in 10 years time 29 no felicity

Felicityum 10 years 10 years time 29 I don't know I don't know anymore I used to say yes but I'm gonna go no okay going to go that all Right. Um, we do a segment called I don't know, man. You guys are

Brian Atlastoo nice. I'm going to have to just intentionally argue with you guys over something. Um, we do a segment where we put all of you through AI and we age all of you. Oh my god, I'm scared. So, we're

Brian Atlasgoing to do that segment super quick. Uh, Mary, if you have that going, then we have some Rayax guy. So, we'll do we'll blast through that. Okay. All

Brian Atlasright. Go for it. Oh, gorgeous. Make it bigger. That's hot. bigger. You're Are all of them small? No, it's

Brian Atlasokay. All right. Uh, popped Botox up for that one. Next. Oh gosh. O, aging is a [ __ ]

Brian AtlasWhat? How do you call like a grandma in in Dutch? Ma. A I like that. Yeah. Next.

ChelseaI didn't even see it. Here it is. Oh my god. Cuz you said 46. That looks 46. That middle is 46. You don't look bad. No. I

Lyannamean, you don't look better. I hate to say you don't look better, but like better than I do at that age for sure. I mean, to be fair, it's not. You're looking still good. You're still looking good. Age nicely. Still looking good for

Chelseathe most part. All right. Next. Weird. Also, a Oh my gosh, I look I actually look like my grandma kind of. That's weird. like the lunch lady. Oh, thanks.

FelicityAll right. Oh, Alina's going to like this one. All right. Next. Yikes. It's kind of cute, though. I think the middle one is The middle isn't bad at all. You kind of like This might

Chelseasound weird. I'm The first one is kind of scary, too. Oh, thanks. Like, that's some She almost looks like a doll. Yeah, she looks like

Chelseaa doll. Like one of them in the back. The first go that far, but like a ch like a China doll almost. Yeah. Uh, okay. Let's do Oops. Next. Nightmare

Katrina (Greek)Fuel. Oh my gosh. Took some milk. Wait, what? Okay. All right. I kind of look like my my mom and my grandmother. That's so interesting. That's weird. All right. Uh

Brian Atlasoh, we got Felicity. She loves this one. Next. O. Oh, they keep doing you dirty, Felicity. Keep doing you dirty. E, what are you? Okay, you have to keep it up.

Katrina (Greek)Yes. All right, we got Warren coming up. Let's see. Warren, what the kind of scary? Uh, it looks like the Trump mug shot in

Katrina (Greek)the last one. The Trump mug shot. Oh, cuz he's like scowlling at the Uh, all right. We'll do me. Oh, okay.

Brian AtlasThe eyebrows. This they took like an 10 plus year. This is a 10 plus year old photo. Oh my god, that's an old Okay, is there another one or And then just Oh, and

Brian Atlasthen the next segment is we have gender swap. Wait, what the [ __ ] I don't know why that we uh gender swapped all y'all. So, uh the question

Brian Atlasis would you date the male version of you? No. And in Warren's case, the female. Would you date the female version of you? Okay.

LyannaReady? Oh, well, I also typically don't jawline. Yeah, I I typically tend to not date white men anyways, so it's fine. I would probably

Brian Atlasyou What's your uh go-to? It tends to be either Middle Eastern or Hispanics. My track record. Middle Eastern or any

Lyannauh Do you date black men or I've like dated before, but I haven't been in a relationship. I I mean I'd be open to I feel like I'd probably more likely be with a black man than a white man. Don't

Lyannaask me why. It's just I my attractions I'm just white enough for the both of us. Do you not You don't like white guys? I just tend to not like my track record I just haven't like I don't know.

LyannaYeah. The track. I just tend to be more attracted to like other cultures. I don't know. I would love for my kids to be able to speak another language. I don't know. I just think I mean that's not just it. But I People have types.

LyannaThat just happened during my time. I wouldn't be against it fully. Like, of course, if I meet the love of my life and he's white, it's not going to be like, "Oh my god, no, because you're white." It just tends to be that I fall

Lyannaother ways. Native Americans. Sure. Mash, I guess. Apache. Why not? Apache. Are they hot?

Brian AtlasUm, okay. Uh, next. Oh, wow. They're cute. Oh, would you date the male version of you?

LyannaActually, not sure. Yeah. Not sure. Yes, I would. I would date you more than I would meet. Closer. It's closer to my type right there.

Brian AtlasNo, I wouldn't. You wouldn't? No. If you I know some of y'all in relationships, so just if you were single. Yeah. No. All right. Next. Gosh. Oh, Rico Suave.

Casey RiveraI mean, that's not bad. The beard with the no facial hair is like the middle one's scary, but the last one's a little scary. The last one I would go for Oh, yeah. The last one I would go for. All

Chelsearight. For sure. Next. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, I would into into the mics if you guys can. Yeah. I Yeah. Can I see it again? Yeah. Sec. The middle one's not even that bad, but like the last one, the facial hair. Yeah. I

Brian Atlasfeel like they love I feel like I got some favors there if I'm being honest. Yeah. Well, no, that's not what I meant, but I I mean, whoever's did these like we used to do it where just like I think

Brian Atlaswe started masculinizing the faces a bit cuz we used to just literally like it would change the hair and uh maybe put a beard, but your facial structure stayed

Brian Atlasthe same, but it it masculineizes the face a bit more. like the for example the nose is a bit bigger and eyebrows get a little bushy or whatever. Anyway, uh next

Alina (Russia)wow would he looks young like and kind of Asian say that

Alina (Russia)a little bit. I don't know. Would you date him? Middle one looks like very young. The one on the right perhaps. I mean, if he has Riz, you know what I'm saying?

Brian AtlasWe Yeah, we know what you're saying. Uh, next. Oh, god. Oh, would you uh date? Not if I was the last person on Earth. You wouldn't date. He's not He's not bad looking. No, he's not.

Katrina (Greek)You wouldn't date him? Scary cuz I I look like my brother somehow. Then I look a little bit like my brother there. So, fair enough. You also only date Middle Eastern men. Oh, no. I'm not

Lyannagoing to that territory. Okay, next. O, Felicity, they did you so dirty. Why do they give you that hair?

FelicityThis is like in sync from Really? They gave her like a jumpsuit, too. Doing this. Whoever does this, bring up the one where I'm wearing the pink shirt. I like that. She saved it on her phone.

Warren SmithIt's her wallpaper. It is. All right. Warren Smith. Oh. today. I feel like I'd be highly

Brian Atlashighly desired. Highly annoying. You got glass skin female. Uh you would you would be highly annoying. My personality probably would be you look like one of these oo waifu. I don't know. Wait, what

Brian Atlasthe [ __ ] Where is it? Damn. I can't find it. Oh, like Wait. Oh man. It take took to took

Brian AtlasWait, can I find it? Hold on. kind of Oh, here we go. Kind of like that. I don't know. VTuber

Brian Atlaskind of or something. Yeah, she cosplays. Are you like part Asian? No. Oh, okay. Irish. Cuz they made you kind of Asian. I don't know. Uh, all right. Last one here.

Brian AtlasUm, oh my god. Uh, yeah, sure. I would date myself as a woman if she was a biological woman. You

Brian Atlasknow who that that looks like? The Discord knows who that looks like and it bothers the [ __ ] out of me. The girl from the crazy girlfriend meme. Oh, well

Brian Atlasit's not her, but yeah. Um, it is a girl we've had on the show before, though. But okay, cool. That was an interesting Are there more or is that it? X out of those. We're going to We got some

Brian Atlasreacts, guys. Recently on Tinder, it's taking the internet by storm. Tinder has introduced a height filter

Brian Atlason their app. So, if you're a woman, and I think if you pay for like a premium feature or something, you can sort through height. Oh. Is there one for weight for men?

Brian AtlasLike if that's going to be that kind of a standard? No. Pull it up. like height preferences. Yeah, the height filter thing. So, this is it. Um, so you can, you know, put your age range and then they it says height, new

Brian Atlasfeature, whatever. You can do any height. I assume you can, you know, whatever. Set it to whatever you prefer. And there was an outrage on the internet. How dare women have

Brian Atlaspreferences? I mean, look, it's to be fair, sometimes y'all crazy with that [ __ ] Like, oh, only date over six foot. But would you guys think it's fair? Should Should we have a weight setting

Lyannanext? I feel like it's the same thing. That's kind of why I made that comment. Like if Yeah. Right. I I I don't I think that's silly personally. Would you guys be fine with a weight

Chelseasetting though on the dating? I don't really think either one of them's fair. I mean, yeah, we all have preferences, but why are we going to put it on a dating app? You can kind of judge it just from looking at pictures. You can control. I do think this just makes

Felicitydating way more trouble you can control your weight just get skinnier. I also think it would be kind of but you could put it on on the date. Like you should put it Yeah. I mean it' be obvious about

Brian Atlasyour pictures, right? I think what Tinder I think actually as a woman you know maybe what do you guys think about this? In order for you to even have a

Brian Atlashave a profile, an account on Tinder, you need to uh they send you a scale and you plug your phone into the scale and

Brian Atlasthen in the app uh you it needs to every day when you log on if you want to access the app you have to step on a scale so it can update because people going to be lying about their weight.

Katrina (Greek)Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's insane. I think that's excessive. I I the extent I don't think there's anything wrong with having preferences for height or weight, but like I think you're going to have a scale. You got to step on it every day

Katrina (Greek)to update that Tinder. Like just get off the dating app at that point online at that point. Go out and touch some grass and go talk to

Brian Atlasword. Uh yeah, Mary, go for it. Uh okay. And then once she's once she's back, we have some other reacts to get to. Uh, I'm gonna finish up the pre-show notes, then we'll get into the

Brian Atlasquestionnaire stuff. By the way, guys, Warren Smith over here is not adequately intoxicated. Champagne Pop. We need a It's his birthday, guys. Can we get him a What

Chelseathe heck, guys? Is there Hold on. Let me see if there's a hat. Do you want a Is this That's the D. I can't do that to

Brian Atlasmy my my homie over here. Warren, you should wear it, Brian. I'm okay. I wore it last time. Um, let's see. Okay, going to the show notes, we have Kasumi. Oh,

Brian Atlasthis is this will be interesting. Uh, you wrote when you are a young girl. Uh, I assume you mean like when you're a w like a woman. When I was a young girl. Did I wrote that? When Okay, I'll finish

Brian Atlasthe sentence. When you're a young girl, avoid dating men who are a lot older than you. Okay. So, you're saying like I'm assuming you're talking about like adult age age age gap relationships.

Crystal (Netherlands)Okay. So, like a 19 or 20-year-old dating a guy who's in his 30s, right? Yeah. Okay. Uh why is that? Um at first I was kind of okay with it. I thought it

Crystal (Netherlands)would be fine. But uh after experienced myself first and also hearing stories of other women, I do notice a

Crystal (Netherlands)um a consistent thing with men who are older. I think they sometimes date younger girls out of uh insecurity. The the older men are insecure. Yes. How

Crystal (Netherlands)how so? Yes. because at first I also didn't agree with this statement like uh it's just because they can't handle uh um women their age and they have too

Crystal (Netherlands)much baggage and those kind of things. Um, I think as adults, you can work through these things. And I also think a grown man, what do you have in common

Crystal (Netherlands)with a a very younger girl? And it's always about the man trying to control her, shape her in a way that he wants her to be, mold her in in a way that is

Crystal (Netherlands)easy for him to to deal with. And I don't think it's um as common as we think uh big age gap relationships. It's

Crystal (Netherlands)probably a handful of relationships are like that and yeah I think there would be a dynamic that the man would be more controlling over the relationship and

Brian Atlasusually it doesn't end up well I think okay so there's a lot there you said commonalities you said that the man would be more you think there's a tendency for older men to be more

Brian Atlascontrolling when they're dating younger women yes okay so how would that manifest itself like controlling how uh making decisions for her uh telling her what she can and cannot do and because

Crystal (Netherlands)she is younger she yeah she probably feels like below him and more unexperienced in life and probably yeah I think it won't will end up making

Brian Atlasher not happy she cannot she's not able to experience her life the way she should have okay um when it comes to the control component uh don't you think weren't you

Brian Atlasmaking an advocation for men being leaders. I do to a certain extent. Like didn't you say men should be more like masculine, step up, etc. Exactly. So, couldn't you have like a comp a dynamic

Brian Atlaswith a woman exactly your age or even older where that level of I don't know if you would categorize it as control. I would categorize it as leadership. That

Brian Atlaswould exist in a same age relationship too. Um, could you rephrase it in a different way? Could you Well, okay. You're saying

Brian Atlasthat uh the man is more likely to be in correct me if I'm wrong. You're saying the man's more likely to be in control of a relationship where the woman is

Brian Atlasyounger. Yes. But isn't that exactly the type of relationship dynamics that you're in favor of? Not completely.

Crystal (Netherlands)Okay. So, what components of that would you object to? Um I think from my experience I have um I worked for about a year. I stood in

Crystal (Netherlands)front of a class and I had uh people from ages 19 until 25. Um I think I experienced hundreds and

Crystal (Netherlands)hundreds of people in one week. And usually girls around yeah maybe 19 20 usually. Not all of them of course but they seem Why do you refer to them

Brian Atlasas girls? because they're young 19 year girls. But it would not be incorrect to refer to them as women, right? No, they're women, too. They menstruated, I guess. I guess. Well, but you said 19

Crystal (Netherlands)and 20. I mean, these are adult. They're legally adult women. Yes. But I think somebody even mentioned that at 25 your frontal lobe develops. I don't know. I I 19year-old girl is different from a

Katrina (Greek)28-year-old girl. Are you trying to say that a 19 year old 19-year-old girl is more naive? Yes, absolutely. Wouldn't you argue argue though that if you're going to bring in the um brain development argument, wouldn't you say

Katrina (Greek)or argue that making these decisions um be getting into these relationships, you know, sometimes it's all about responsibility, like responsibility and wisdom doesn't equate to brain

Katrina (Greek)development, would you argue? like you you like you don't change from being uh a simpleton to put it like a simpleton at 24 to having your brain fully developed at 25 the next day. You know what I mean? You don't That's true.

Katrina (Greek)That's true. Yeah. The years uh of experience develop uh Yeah. Couldn't you argue that somebody at 19 could go through something uh could have

Katrina (Greek)it's not common but you know have around the same awareness and respon sense of responsibility and um understanding of somebody at 25 with their full Absolutely. I agree. I don't think it's

Crystal (Netherlands)just the majority of young girls that have this type of understanding of the world, how relationships work, uh how men uh are and uh social dynamics. I

Crystal (Netherlands)don't think the majority of girls around 18, 19, 20 have a good sense of that. Okay. Yeah. So, I have a question. Do you think that a majority of older men are just controlling in general? No, I

Chelseadon't think so. So, then do you say that your statement is just a generalization of all older men in a relationship with a younger female? Yeah. In in general, I would I would think so. Yes.

Crystal (Netherlands)Okay. So then you are saying that majority of older men are controlling in a relationship. When an older man is specifically looking for a 10 to

Crystal (Netherlands)15year-old younger girl, there is more behind it than just love. I think so in a sense the same way a lot of men talk about women when they're older. They're

Crystal (Netherlands)like um they have too much baggage. uh they hit a certain age and they can't attract a a good relationship anymore. The same is with men. At some point when they're past 28, they're not in a

Crystal (Netherlands)relationship yet. They're probably failing at something in life, I think. And they look for a younger girl. They're able to control more and to have a type of relationship dynamic that he

Brian Atlaswouldn't be able to have with an older woman. Do you think that's the case for all age gap relationships? No. Okay. So, some what percentage? Good question as well. I don't know. You don't know? Do

Brian Atlasyou think it's Do you think the majority of men who want to date a younger woman uh the reason for them wanting to do that is because of this control component that you were referencing?

Crystal (Netherlands)It's a part of it, but it's also a part because uh of course youth is attracted attractive and also to older men still, but I find it Yeah. odd if a really

Crystal (Netherlands)older man, let's say he's 40 and he's only looking to date 20 year olds. There's something wrong with him, I think. What? Oh, go ahead. Leonardo DiCaprio, for example. Yeah, there's something wrong with him too for doing

Warren Smiththat. Yeah, it shows him he cannot have a stable relationship with somebody. I think you touched on it where it's I think it's mostly aesthetic more so than it could be a component in some cases of control, but I think it's always going

Warren Smithto be an aspect of that fabric of reality. I keep referring to that biologically because youth indicator reproduction. I have this whole theory we don't need to

Warren Smithget into unless you're interested in it about why we are attracted to beauty certain facial features and it's seeing traits that oh if I reproduce with this person my offspring will have the highest likelihood of having those

Warren Smithtraits thus carrying on my genetic code and that happens in a split second and this isn't a one way that is acted out.

Crystal (Netherlands)Yeah, I agree with that one. Yes. Yes. But I also think that um ju just when you think of it, a 40-year-old man and a 20 year old woman, what would they have

Brian Atlasin common that much? I can answer that. Relationship wise. Yeah. I mean, I have a couple questions on that. So, um first though, just clarifying question. Um

Brian Atlaswhat is a way in which I would have a commonality with a woman uh that's my age that on the basis of

Brian Atlasthe commonality alone would be the uh would be enough to push me over the edge to wanting to date her.

Brian AtlasI think certain values in the time that you guys Oh, values. Well, I think hold on. So, when you're talking about commonality, are you talking about like

Crystal (Netherlands)shared like cultural like music or movies or are you talking about people for example? That's probably not the most important part, but that's an part of it. Okay.

Brian AtlasUm, I guess my confusion though, aren't there people, is it logically possible that there's like a 60-year-old and a

Crystal (Netherlands)20-year-old who have more in common than does a 60year-old and another 60-year-old? Is it logically possible? Yeah, I guess so. There could be a

Brian Atlaspossibility for that, but that's not the majority of the cases. Would you It could be the case, but you would agree that there are people your own age who you would be completely incompatible

Brian Atlaswith as it relates to commonality. Uh, could you say that again? Sorry, my English. Well, so for examp I'm 36. Yeah. There are 36-year-old women that I have nothing in common with. Yeah. So,

Brian Atlasbut you you bring that up though as an argument for like why I shouldn't date them, right? So, true. or why men shouldn't date younger women because there's a lack of commonality. I'm not

Brian Atlassure if like men or even women care that much about I agree with you on having shared values, but I think values are

Brian Atlasmuch more easy to come by than like having like shared cultural touchston like, oh, you like the same band, you like the same movie. Also, if a girl

Brian Atlasreally likes you, you can show her that [ __ ] and she'll start to like it. Yeah. I I agree with that. So, but but I mean uh I I think for both men and women, I

Brian Atlasdon't think commonality is really high on the totem pole in terms of what people value care about. Like if you're a Christian, then yeah, you'd want to

Brian Atlasdate another Christian, but and also what really I guess I guess I would ask what do men and women have in common? Really? What do women and men have in common?

Crystal (Netherlands)Like what do we have in common? Oh, I think uh biologically speaking, we both want to reproduce, have children, and want want someone we won't want to be alone. Like

Crystal (Netherlands)probably that's everybody here wants love and don't want to be alone. So we have that all in common. So we're looking for a partner to close that gap for ourselves. Um so we have that at the

Crystal (Netherlands)base uh in common. And after that, of course, we want safety, uh, food. We have these basic desires that are all the same, that all are all in common. So, we

Brian Atlasunderstand each other on that level. Well, let me ask you this. What would I have in common with a 35-year-old that I

Crystal (Netherlands)can't have in common with a 25-year-old? Um, like experience. Life experience. I just Well, when you say life experience, I just think more dicks.

Crystal (Netherlands)Like she's [ __ ] more guys. That's all I can. But what do you mean life experience? Like I like I wanted to make a point because I was um I I did this job that I was a teacher and I met like

Crystal (Netherlands)hundreds of 20 yearear-old girls and uh I'm standing in front of the class and majority, not all of them, but they're sitting on their phones unmotivated, uninterested. When you have a conversation with them, they're staring

Crystal (Netherlands)at their screen and stuff. there's so like there's not much uh there is not much uh going on inside their heads. So

Crystal (Netherlands)I'm sometimes thinking and I'm saying that's not all of a 19-year-old woman. But what does a 40-year-old man with all this life experience he Yeah. What is he

Brian Atlasonly going for her looks? Pro Yeah, probably. Probably. Yeah. And what what what is a relationship based off of? Uh, I mean, what kind of relationship is that? Uh, well, I I would say that

Brian Atlasperhaps there's some scenario where it's it's looks and he's just thinking like, okay, she's 20 or whatever and she has the most childbearing years ahead of

Crystal (Netherlands)her. That that might be it. That might be all that he's thinking about. Yeah, I would think that's kind of empty. Like, you need to share the rest of your life with her basically. Well, yeah. you

Chelseashouldn't like marry a like a [ __ ] like somebody who's just a piece of [ __ ] or annoying, but like maybe that's part of the reason why he wants to be with her is to like share his experiences with her and like help her grow as a person.

ChelseaHave you ever like thought of that as an example as to why older men would be would want to be involved with younger females? I would see that more like being a father figure in a sense. But

Crystal (Netherlands)you couldn't date someone who is older and still learn those life experiences. I'm sure there are uh ways that it could be like that. Uh but I also see it in a way that that person knows everything a

Crystal (Netherlands)lot better than you and he will make the choices for you and you cannot experience making errors uh in your life and create that own life experience for yourself. But wouldn't that be kind of a nice way to live? You don't have to

Crystal (Netherlands)learn from all of your mistakes and someone can kind of help you just get on the right path in life. Yeah. Yeah. That's the one. Is he really teaching you the right path in life? And second,

Crystal (Netherlands)yeah, maybe. Maybe. Yeah, that that's true. But um I think we're like taking away a lot of like responsibility from

Chelseathe woman uh from herself in that way, but also isn't a man's job to like guide their partner and be like someone to take care of their partner. So I guess I

Chelseadon't understand the issue of the age gap situation in that sense either. man's supposed to be a provider and a protector, but that's so just because he's 20 years older than her, how is that an issue?

Crystal (Netherlands)Yeah, I think for the reasons I explained on beforehand, um, as a 20-year-old woman, you have like many years in front of you, and if somebody is telling you how to live your life

Brian Atlasfrom that point, I think that could be an issue for for you. Would you be okay with a 20-year-old dating uh like a really masculine and dominant 21-year-old and he's like telling her

Crystal (Netherlands)how to live her life? Because why would a man need to be telling someone to live? Okay, so it's not related to age then. You just have an issue with like men being leaders in relationship. Usually it falls in the in the in the

Lyannagap of when the man is older, he will feel more uh assertive in telling her what to do. I dated somebody a year younger than me and it was the most controlling relationship I've ever been in. I feel like it depends on the person, too. I feel like controlling

Lyannapeople are going to be controlling people no matter their age. But I understand how you can see like because they're older, it looks that way. But that's a good point. I do have an interesting thought process there. If

Brian Atlasthe goal is to avoid controlling situation situations in relationships, uh what if I were to propose that there's a tendency for the woman to be

Brian Atlasmore controlling as she gets older. Airgo men should date younger women so the older women don't control them. Oh, I know.

Crystal (Netherlands)Yeah. Because there's also a tendency that women can be very controlling in relationships as well, I guess. But is it? Okay. No, but that's true. Like it's But but he's pointing out that age doesn't really play a factor. If you're going to be a controlling person, you're

Brian Atlasgoing to be controlling. Do you think the age gaps are g like it's gross? Is it icky? Does it give you the ick? No, it just give me you're you're curious about the motivations. It sounds like

Crystal (Netherlands)the motivations indeed. Like why isn't that man able to date someone around his age? And usually it falls into maybe she's not attractive enough for him or or something. But it's it just yeah, it

Brian Atlasjust interests me a lot. Why isn't he able to find somebody around his age? If I'm dating a girl who's my exact same age and we have nothing in common, should I break up with her? If if Yeah,

Brian Atlasif you don't love her and No, I She's really attractive and I love her, but we you know what? She likes rap music. No, you shouldn't break up with her. No, you shouldn't break up. I shouldn't break up

Brian Atlaswith her. If that's not a deal breaker for you, you don't break up with her. But like I also I don't do my nails and she does her nails. We have nothing in common. But would you be would want to be with

Brian Atlassomeone like that if we have nothing in common but you like her and she's attractive. It depends. What are the things like I'm not a big drinker. I'd prefer to date if she was a partyier and

Brian Atlasa drinker regardless of her age. If she was 21 and she drank a lot, she was 30 40 and she drank a lot. Wouldn't want to date her either. Mhm. Uh, so I have a

Chelseaquestion. So, let's reverse the roles. So, I'm in I'm slightly it's five years difference. I'm the older person in the relationship and my significant other is the younger person in the relationship. Yeah. But, um, so I guess my question

Chelseais, so I'm not a controlling person. He's younger than me and he's more, not in a bad way, but more controlling and takes the lead in our relationship. But you're now putting control and leadership in the same thing. But I

Chelseabrought that to you earlier with the man being the older and the female being the younger and being a leader and guiding them. I mean, my significant other, like I said, I still learn things from him and he's younger than I am and hasn't

Crystal (Netherlands)had near as much life experience, I guess, if you want to say, as myself. So, why does it matter if it's a man or a woman who's older? Because those are usually the stories that you will hear.

Crystal (Netherlands)there's more a tendency of older men and younger uh women that have these types of dynamics. And I'm I'm dating a way younger guy. Like I'm the older one. I'm

Brian Atlas32. How old is he? 24. Oh, what the [ __ ] Hey, you're you know what? You are a predator and you're controlling and you are

Brian Atlastaking advantage of his undeveloped brain. You're you're a [ __ ] sicko. But I'm not just saying not just this girl 32 dating a 24 year old man. Oh

Brian Atlashold no no sorry a boy. You're dating a 24 year old boy? Yes. That's disgusting. Really? But that's not what I'm saying. I'm What do you have in common with him

Crystal (Netherlands)though? I was just getting He's super hot. Yes. Oh wow. Really hot young guy. And we have a lot of we we talk about I learn a lot from him. He learns a lot from me as well

Crystal (Netherlands)again. So why? But I'm not saying it's every single relationship that is like that. But I just kind of a warning sign for younger girls because usually it's also the more damaged one that go for

Katrina (Greek)older men in relationships. There is something the women are damaged. There are damaged women. But I thought you were saying that there's a problem with the man to be uh pursuing younger women.

Crystal (Netherlands)But as a generalized there is because I'm I'm just thinking about what is going on in his mind. I'm just thinking about what it what could be going on in his mind if he's actively pursuing girls that are way younger than than him.

ChelseaOkay. So, what's actively going on in your mind dating someone who's 24 actively pursuing boy? Okay. So, then actively looking for younger boys to date. Okay. But maybe some of these older men are actively looking for

Crystal (Netherlands)younger women to date. No, those that I'm sure there are situations that just work and they're fine and that's okay. But I I there is like why do men's motivation So again, we're back to like

Chelseawhat percentage I guess. So what percentage what percentage of like age gap relationships I guess do you think are controlling and are like toxic from in my own experience? I've seen them in my own experience. But what's

Chelseathe percentage? I don't know the percentage. I don't studies on it or anything. Just a guesstimate though from your personal experience.

Chelsealess than 1%, 5%, 10%. I would say like 30 or 20. Okay. Yeah. Wait, can I ask you a question? Um, so can you can you

Brian Atlasexplain to me like what in ter what's the benefit to the man to pick a 31-year-old over a 21-y old? Like what's the actual benefit?

Crystal (Netherlands)Well, I think a more mature woman. you have somebody that can uh like has more life experience, needs knows to deal with certain situations better than a 20-year-old. Most men don't uh aren't

Alina (Russia)attracted to a more mature woman though. That's the thing like um it matches up in age gap relationships like that because a lot of time women are attracted to a guy who has more

Alina (Russia)experience, more life experience, even like maybe negative experiences. it doesn't damage a man as much as it can damage a woman in terms of how she

Alina (Russia)conducts herself in a relationship. So, um that's why it can match up like that. Like a woman may be more attracted to an older guy, a older guy is more attracted to a younger woman because she has more

Alina (Russia)reproductive years like Brian said and like just because of attraction. And as long as you have your basic values lined up like um like no drinking for example or like if you want to have children in

Alina (Russia)the future, that's the thing that should matter the most. Not like small things like he didn't listen to the same type of music when he was younger as I am right now. Like it's it's not about that

Alina (Russia)because those things don't really matter in a relationship. I agree with doesn't matter in like friendships like you can sit with your with your friend in a car and listen to music but like with your husband it doesn't I guess it doesn't

Alina (Russia)matter as much because there's so many other things that matter so much more there are much more things that matter more than the same music I agree with that like commonalities I'm not just talking music like commonalities that

Alina (Russia)have to do with age you can have like basic things in common that matter more and you have an age gap relationship doesn't necessarily mean that one person is like trying to manipulate the other

Crystal (Netherlands)person. No, I'm also Yeah, I'm like maybe it's my English or something, but I agree completely with what say in Dutch. Maybe we'll understand better. Two people understanding. But well, I mean I guess I agree with exactly

Crystal (Netherlands)everything you said. I agree with that. That's the baseline of it. But I think in the group of men that are looking for specifically only younger girls like I'm

Crystal (Netherlands)just trying to understand what is going on in their mind and why they're not able to date somebody of their own age. When we go to certain uh other cultures uh I don't know if I can say this but in

Crystal (Netherlands)in Muslim cultures some they sometimes date or they they marry like 25 year old men marry 9year-old girls. Why? Well, hold on. Just to be clear, we're talking

Brian Atlasabout adult relationships, right? We're talking about adult relationships, right? So, this would mean they're adults. So, you're talking about Yeah, that's wrong. You're talking about

Brian Atlasnineyear-olds. Yeah. I don't think anybody at this table's defending that. Agree. But, okay. This what talking about Islam? Yep. Oh, okay. Like,

Crystal (Netherlands)I'm not gonna I'm not gonna get into the that convo, but yeah. So I I'm just yeah I maybe it's just me trying to understand what is going on there and most people are just just yeah it's it's

Crystal (Netherlands)fine. It should be fine. I don't think it just we should just look at it like that. I was actually on that camp first years ago that but now I'm trying to see like from a different perspective and

Crystal (Netherlands)yeah I just want to know what is going on is in a man's head when they choose to go for a much younger girl. why they're not able to date somebody their own age. Wait, are you saying are you

Brian Atlasare you saying specifically? So, is there a component here where it's like um the men can't get women their own

Crystal (Netherlands)age? So, they have to go after these like naive younger women. Yeah. I'm talking about a specific group of men that after a certain age that they're not in a relationship and they're only

Brian Atlashooking up and dating with younger girls. After what age? 28 30. So you're 32. I'm talking about currently dating a 24 year old which by the way I have I

Crystal (Netherlands)don't actually have any objections to but um I in general I want to really make this clear. I in general don't have an objection for a older man dating a younger girl but there's a certain group

Crystal (Netherlands)of men that I do think they are in somewhat way insecure and they are looking specifically for younger girls to date because that sense of control

Crystal (Netherlands)they they probably enjoy that and it's not it's there's a I think a border between leadership and control. Okay. Well, I mean, I like I wouldn't

Brian Atlasdisagree with you that like perhaps for some men who date younger women, they do so for like bad bad reasons or whatever,

Brian Atlasyou know, they they're insecure or they are immature and like the older women can sus that out. But I think to paint to paint with a broad brush and just say men in general like I would say it's a

Brian Atlasvery small minority of men who find younger women attractive are like fall within that. But I'm willing to grant that yeah there there probably

Brian Atlasare some men who are insecure and are you know immature or whatever. But I don't know if it's worth exploring like a minority.

Warren SmithOkay. Of men there. You had something more. Yeah. I mean, if we use if we look at samples in Hollywood, we see that a lot because I think it they have to

Warren Smithbe either have a lot of resources to be able to attract a 22y old when you're 40 or above. I can tell you from a man's perspective why DiCaprio is probably

Warren Smithdoing that. He's like, "Why would I be with a 40-year-old woman when I could be with this? It's just aesthetically attraction." I I get your I get your point. I think it's pretty simp. It's

Lyannapretty simple the reason why they do it. My dad married someone 20 years younger than him. So, and I'm pretty sure that was I'm sure just an attraction thing. She had already had kids, too. It's the

Katrina (Greek)stereotype, right? It's not even about leave with for their secretary. It's it's mad men. We saw it. I mean, my my grandfather married my grandmother and there was like an 18-year age gap. He's 18 years he was 18

Katrina (Greek)years older, but I think that was an arranged marriage. Like, that's just like a totally different kind of situation. We have some chats coming through. We have one moment, Lucas. Hey,

Brian AtlasLucas. Thank you, man. Again, with this feminist age gap paddle, age gaps are morally neutral. My parents were 15 years. The reasons are simple. Men pursue youth

Brian Atlasbeauty because of fertility and good genes. Women pursue older continued uh pursue older men because of the accumulation of wealth, stability,

Brian Atlasability to protect. Stop with the control BS talking point. Stop trying to impose your preferences onto men. Your opinion is relevant to us. Uh thank you for that, Lucas. Appreciate your

Brian Atlasmessage. Yeah, I mean I think it just comes down to what people find attractive and I think just biologically evolutionarily men are attracted to like

Brian Atlaswomen probably between the age of like 20 25 that's probably like the peak uh in terms of what men will deem attractive. It just comes down to uh as Warren said like an aesthetic and

Brian Atlasthere's the biological basis of just like that's when women are the most fertile. Uh, so there's a biological basis for that. Desert Joe says, "Chair 2 keeps insinuating men aren't able to

Brian Atlasdate their own age. This is completely false. Men generally have a biological preference for women who are in their peak fertility age range, not control." I I also on this one I think Desert Joe

Brian Atlasis that I was thinking about this and I actually think that men say like men who are in their 30s early mid-30s whatever

Brian Atlaswho are able to date younger women like say between 20 to 24 or something. I think they actually those men in that

Brian Atlasage range would be are more able to date women in their age range. they just opt and choose not to because I think as a guy in your 30s and able in order to be

Brian Atlasable to attract a 20-year-old, I think you have to be pretty damn attractive in whatever the ways that women find men attractive are. Uh, and this would then

Brian Atlasthat level of attractiveness that the 20-year-olds find attractive, so too should it be the case that the 30 or you know, the older women would also find those men attractive, too. So it's it's

Brian Atlasactually the case that I think like for example a man who can't attract younger women, I think that guy is less likely

Brian Atlasto be able to attract women uh women of his own age also. So I don't know this idea that like oh they can't get women their own age so

Brian Atlasthey have to go date like really hot attractive 20-year-olds. It doesn't really track for me that it's like But 30 and 25 is not a big age gap, right? That's like a small age gap. Oh, well, I

Brian Atlasmean, I would I would just give you like 33 dating a 21-year-old. That's more that's pretty big age gap. But I mean, I think in order to date to be to be able

Brian Atlasto get a 21-year-old when you're in your 30s, you have to be pretty darn attractive in order to get her. If and if you're in the 30s and you can't get

Brian Atlasyounger women, I'd argue that you're like le probably less attractive to women in your age group. So, it's not it's not that they

Brian Atlascan't get the older women, these older men. It's not that they can't get them. They can get them, but they're opting to go with the better option, which happens to be younger women. And that just mean

Brian Atlasactually when you say better, it's just more attractive, basically. I mean because other Yeah. the other things don't matter. I I won't sugarcoat it, but sure. Yeah. More. Yes. More. Well,

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