NEVER Had A Boyfriend At 38/33?! VlRGlN Until 26?! Brian CONFRONTED On Marriage?! | Dating Talk #272

Date: 2025-12-08

Duration: 7h 11m

Guests

Brian Atlas

BBella (Pre-Law)>

SSabrina (Diabetic)>

JJacqueline Thomas >

FFelicity Hughes >

Identified Speakers

SPEAKER_02Felicity Hughes(guest)

SPEAKER_03Haley(guest)

SPEAKER_04Jacqueline Thomas(guest)

SPEAKER_05Brian Atlas(host)

SPEAKER_07Sierra(guest)

SPEAKER_08Dakota(guest)

SPEAKER_10Sabrina (Diabetic)(guest)

SPEAKER_12Sativa(guest)

SPEAKER_13Bella (pre-law)(guest)

Key Moments

IntroAll guests introduce themselves

Key MomentDakota lost virginity at 26 to Olympic snowboarder

Key MomentHaley's 15-month situationship: he dates others, she's exclusive

ControversyBrian's bow/laundry expectations spark debate

Key MomentDakota's father is trans (transitioned 2016), tore family apart

QuoteSativa: abortion was biggest regret, wanted to kill herself, year of therapy

Topics Discussed

Guest Introductions

7 guests + Felicity.

Dakota's Snowboarder

Lost virginity at 26 to Olympic snowboarder at X Games party.

Haley's 15-Month Situationship

Seeing a guy who dates others and refuses to commit.

Bow/Laundry Debate

Brian's ex bowing video + laundry expectations.

Haley Tinder Stories

Walked home 4 hours after hookup. Date roofied himself.

Dakota's Trans Father

Father transitioned 2016. Tore family apart.

Sativa's Abortion Regret

Biggest regret. Wanted to kill herself. Year of therapy.

Marriage Debate

Brian vs Jacqueline on benefits of marriage.

Transcript

Page 1 of 8

Brian AtlasWelcome to the Whatever Dating Talk podcast where we try to make sense of the modern dating hellscape. I'm your host, Brian Atlas. A few quick announcements. This podcast is viewer supported. We rarely do sponsorships and

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Brian Atlasstudies, a bunch of other stuff. Without further ado, we're going to have the guests introduce themselves. So, please tell us your name, age, occupation, where you're from, and education.

Bella (pre-law)>> Um, hi, I'm Bella. I'm 19 and I'm from Orange County, California. Um, I'm at UCSB right now studying pre-law. >> Okay. Uh, and the the major is it's pre-law. >> Yeah.

Brian Atlas>> Gotcha. Uh, and are you employed at all right now or just focusing on school? >> I'm just working at a retail store down in IV. Okay. Not that much. [clears throat] >> Yeah. Yeah. Uh, what about you? >> I'm Sabrina. I'm 23. I'm from

Sabrina (Diabetic)Westchester, New York, but I live in London now. I do OAF and I completed some university. >> Okay. And uh, are you just here visiting or? >> I'm here visiting the States for about a

Sabrina (Diabetic)month before I go back to Europe. >> Is one of your uh, parents, do they have uh, like UK citizenship or what are you doing in London? No, I just I'm really into football, like soccer, and so I moved out there to kind of go to the

Sierragames and stuff because I'm a nerd. >> Okay, got it. Uh, >> I love America. >> All right. What about you? >> Hi, I'm Sierra. I'm 36 years old from Seattle, Washington. I've been a dental

Sierraassistant for 15 years, but for the last seven, I've been um pretty much a stay-at-home mom. Uh, I went to trade school for dental assisting and then I completed about half my bachelor's in

Dakotapsychology. >> All right. Cool. Cool. What about you? >> Dakota Ray, 38. Um, I'm born and raised in LA. Uh, I work in politics and I went

Sativato UCLA, graduated with an anthropology degree with focuses on biological, linguistics, and cultural. >> All right, got it. What about you? >> Uh, I'm Sativa. I'm 30. Uh, I live in

Jacqueline ThomasOklahoma, but I'm from California. Um, I'm an artist and a college dropout. >> Okay. All right. [laughter] What about you? >> I My name is Jacqueline Thomas. I went

Jacqueline Thomasto college as a college athlete and I went for my bachelor's and my masters and I am a stay-at-home mom and a homeschooling mother and whatever other

Haleyhat I need to wear, I wear it. Well, >> all right. Sorry. Could you just I missed that. Uh, repeat your age. I didn't say it. 41. >> Ah, okay. Uh, what about you?

Haley>> Okay. Uh, hi, I'm Haley. I'm 33. I also live in Oklahoma. Hello. [laughter] Um, right now I kind of work at a college like um as an usher security at

Haleyall the different sports games, you know, football, whether it's softball, all of them. And my highest level of education is high school. >> All right. >> Hello. My name is Felicity Hughes. I'm

Brian Atlas19 from Santa Barbara. and I'm a professional eye crosser. >> She works for the works for the podcast. All right. Uh going around the table once more. What's uh what's everyone's

Bella (pre-law)relationship status? If you're single, how long have you been single? And what's the longest relationship you've ever been in? Starting with you. >> Um I'm single right now. I've been single for like two years. And then my longest relationship was probably about

Brian Atlaslike a year and six months. >> And that was in high school, right? >> Yeah. >> Okay. Uh, who broke? Who broke up with who? It >> was mutual. It was for college. >> Oh, you guys split up like right before you went off to

Bella (pre-law)>> Yeah, like the day before >> to like 100% mutual or was there one person leaning more in one direction or >> I mean I wanted to try out long distance but obviously like that's really hard and I can't put blame on the person the

Bella (pre-law)other person for not wanting to do it. So I had to respect him obviously. So, we kind of made the mutual decision like, yeah, we'll break up and go our separate ways for college, new lifestyle. >> Sure. What about you?

Sabrina (Diabetic)>> I'm in a relationship right now. We've been together since the end of summer and my longest relationship was 13 months. >> You said you've been together since the end of summer. >> Yes. >> Your current relationship?

Brian Atlas>> Current relationship. >> So, 3 months. Safe to say. Okay. >> And your longest was 13 months. >> Yes. >> Who broke up with who? I broke up with

Brian Atlashim. >> Okay. And then I I uh found online you had some like boyfriend application thing or something. Um is that how you found your current boyfriend? He did the BF application or whatever.

Brian Atlas>> I didn't. [laughter] >> Okay. >> That's funny. >> All right. Uh sorry. The the 13 uh month relationship. >> Yes. >> Who who initiated the breakup? >> I did.

Sabrina (Diabetic)>> Why and why was that? He was a bit of a porn addict and I had found porn again on his computer and at this on this time it was a PC. It's a gaming PC. Why are you watching porn on a gaming PC? I was

Sabrina (Diabetic)just fed up. >> So broke up with him. >> Don't you produce porn though? >> Good question. I produce I produce booby

Sabrina (Diabetic)pictures which is technically Yes, it was technically porn. I'm a Yeah. >> Okay. Were you doing the uh the Only Fans when you were with him?

Brian Atlas>> No, this was three years prior to it. >> Three years prior. Okay. Correct. >> Gotcha. Um so that uh your relationship predates the start of you doing Only Fans.

Brian Atlas>> Um would you have an issue now? I guess like say your current boyfriend who you've been seeing for 3 months. If he was uh watching porn, would you have an issue with it? >> No. >> Now you Now you wouldn't.

Brian Atlas>> No. Now I wouldn't. I think I've matured and became less insecure since then. But also, yeah. >> Well, I don't know if a woman's insecure if she doesn't want her boyfriend watching porn. I don't know if that would make her insecure, but was that

Brian Atlasthe reason why you had an issue with it? >> He couldn't get heart. That was the biggest issue, which was a result of >> Well, I don't know if that that would make you insecure. But >> yeah. >> Uh yeah, if the porn conception has a

Brian Atlasnegative impact on the relationship, in this case, her sex life, I think it's kind of a valid Yes. issue to have. Um, but what about Okay, what if he didn't

Brian Atlaswatch porn, your current boyfriend, but he he was like subscribed to a girl's off page, not because of to consume her nude content, but to conversate with her. Would that be an

Brian Atlasissue? >> I would prefer he buy her nude content than talk to her. >> Because I mean, that's a big portion of Only Fans is it's not just the posting of the nude photos. It's like the back and forth >> girlfriend experience

Sierra>> parasocial. >> Yes. >> Conversation thing. >> That would be an issue for sure. >> Okay. Uh right. What about you? >> I am currently in a relationship. We've been together for three and a half years

Sierraand then my longest relationship was four years. >> All right. Four years. Ever married? >> No. >> Any kids? >> Yes. I have we have a one-year-old with my current boyfriend, one and a half, and then I have a six-year-old

Brian Atlas>> with your four-year. >> Yes. >> Okay. Uh let's see. The four-year relationship, who broke up with who? >> Neither. Death ended that one. >> Oh, uh sorry to hear. May I ask what

Brian Atlashappened? >> Uh heart issues. He was 35. >> I see. Okay. >> Yeah. So, he passed away when our son was 10 days old. >> Oh, wow. >> Yeah. >> Dang. Were you guys living together at the time or was the relationship

Sierraotherwise good or >> Yeah, everything was probably yeah as good as it had been. We just had our son, just bought our house and >> did he have a like a history of heart issues or

Sierra>> he was a competitive bodybuilder steroids for a very long time. So yeah, that certainly had something to do with >> like was he actively taking like TRT or steroids while

Sierra>> during that time period? >> Yeah. Oh yeah. when when I found out that we were pregnant, he came down a lot and then >> it just didn't matter in the end, I don't think. [laughter]

Brian Atlas>> I'm curious if uh if you get pregnant while you you know the the father is like taking cuz like if the father smokes, doesn't that have an impact on

Brian Atlasthe sperm quality? So, like if you're taking TRT, if you're taking steroids, does that have some sort of impact on >> Great [snorts] question. I thought the same thing. >> Does it could have issue potential

Sierraissue? I don't know. >> I asked the doctor and he he said no that everything should be performed. >> Like what if your kid just is like [ __ ] [laughter] >> just jacked. >> Yeah. But no, >> you ever seen those super buff like

Brian Atlassevenyear-olds? That's crazy. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Okay. Well, uh I assume the kid's healthy. I'm >> Yeah, absolutely. He's he's he's more of a musician than a bodybuilder.

Brian Atlas>> Were you guys like uh was it a pregnancy or were you guys trying to get pregnant? >> Uh like we know what we're doing, but we we weren't being careful. I think honestly he thought he thought he was

Sierralike sterile because of all of the steroids. That's what he was told. >> Yeah. >> Um but obviously like we know what we're doing. Uh right. >> Yeah. So he wasn't >> Well, yeah. Yeah, cuz I I think when

Brian Atlasyou're my understanding when you're taking uh TRT, testosterone replacement, >> y >> I think doesn't that like temporarily at least while you're taking it make you essentially sterile? >> It it's supposed to. Yeah, that's what I was saying. So [ __ ] Okay.

Sierra>> Yeah. >> So So uh you guys were not aiming to have a kid, but >> not at the time. We we knew we were going to get married. We knew we were going to have kids. That was all in the

Brian Atlasplans. But yeah. >> Was there like a spec was he in the sauna or something when it happened or just >> No. Been asleep actually. >> Oh sh like were you next to him? >> I wasn't. I was in the nursery with the

Brian Atlasbaby. >> But I'm the one that found him and Yeah. >> at home. >> Yep. It was at home. >> [ __ ] >> Yeah. >> That's heavy. Sorry to hear that. >> Thank you. >> Um Okay. And so but you have so you have

Brian Atlastwo kids, one from your uh I guess does that make you a >> a widow or no? If you were married, >> you weren't married. So, >> if you were married, I guess, but

Dakota>> Okay. Um, what about you? >> Uh, currently single and I've never had a boyfriend. >> Hold on. Whoa. [laughter] >> I've had like a situationship and I've

Brian Atlasdated, but I've never had like an official boyfriend. >> Okay. Uh, well, I guess what's the You said you had a situationship. What's the longest period of time that you've like seen a guy? >> That was two years.

Dakota>> Two Two years. But I mean, >> no title. >> No. >> No. Did you Did you say I love you? >> No. >> And you were saying >> I mean, but we did. I mean, we loved each other, but we didn't say it out loud until like way later

Dakota>> after you guys broke up. >> Yeah. >> Wait, what? [laughter] Hold on. >> It's complicated. I mean, he was he was an athlete. So, um >> Yeah. >> Okay. Wait. So, uh And was it on again,

Dakotaoff again, or was it like a 2year straight period? Well, um I don't want to give tmi, but I was 26 and I lost my virginity to him. So, it was uh it was

Dakotaon again, off again, but he didn't live here. So, every time he'd come into town, we'd hang out and um he wasn't seeing anyone else at the time. I It's Yeah, it's a lot. But, yeah.

Brian Atlas>> Was Was he Was he a US athlete? >> Yeah, an Olympian. >> Oh, okay. What uh Okay. So, when when you said you came to town, I was like,

Brian Atlas>> "Oh, yeah. He lived uh where it snows cuz he was a a winter >> a winter athlete. Luj >> snowboarding. >> Snow Oh, snowboarding. Okay. Um >> interesting. Okay.

Brian Atlas>> You have red hair. >> But yeah, say what >> does he have red hair? >> No. Oh my gosh. No, but he competes with >> what's Yeah. What's that guy's name with? >> Sean White. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Uh okay. Hey, Kibbaka, thank for the

Brian Atlasgifted. Why won't it let me Oh, here we go. Kibbaka, thanks for the gifted 22 subs. Thank you, Kaibaka. Appreciate it. >> Jake just raided. >> Oh, Jake, thank for the raid, man.

Brian AtlasAppreciate it. Hope you had a good stream. Uh, okay. So, uh, never wait, sorry. And just I I got distracted from all the other details there, like, uh, lost your virginity to him at 26.

Dakota>> Yeah. >> Um, were was it on and off or not really? Yeah. I mean, it was like I mean, it was >> just a little closer to the mic. >> Oh, yeah. It was definitely on and off

Dakotafor two years. He'd come to visit. I'd go up there to visit him. We never made it official, but we both knew. >> Were you dating other men during this time period? Was he dating other women? >> No.

Dakota>> On God. Yeah. That I know for sure. >> You You know for sure he wasn't. >> Well, I mean, he was like in a different city, different state. >> True. So, anything could be possible.

DakotaBut from my gut instinct and what he's told me, I I highly doubt it. >> How often would you guys see each other? >> Um, a couple times a month, I guess we'd try to make it work. >> So, you would go there, he would go come here.

Dakota>> Yeah. Same. Yeah. >> Okay. So, like every week basically or maybe less than >> a couple a couple times a month maybe. >> Two to three times a month. >> Yeah. Two times a month. >> Every other week you'd see each other. >> Okay. And

Brian Atlas>> this was a very long time ago. [laughter] like >> hard to recall >> the Obama administration. >> Yes, unfortunately. During Obama, unfortunately, unfortunately. >> And um >> Okay. Um

Dakota>> that was a scary time. >> Was he a virgin, too? Because >> No, absolutely not. >> Absolutely not. >> No way. >> Okay. Um do you snowboard also or >> I tried. You tried? >> Yeah. It didn't work out so well. I'm a

Dakotaskateboarder, but skateboarder. >> Um have you dated anybody else? >> No, >> just him. dated. >> Well, uh, yeah, I guess. Uh, >> yeah. I mean, I've dated Yeah, I've had

Brian Atlasother situations. Yes, of course. Yeah. >> Besides the two-year snowboard Olympian guy, >> by the way, like did he place >> medalist? >> No. >> No,

Brian Atlas>> not in the Olympics, but he he's a decorated snowboard uh halfpipe rider. >> Somebody's gonna find figure out who that [laughter] is probably. >> It's coming. But besides him, I guess what's the next longest period of time

Dakotathat you've [snorts] >> not had a boyfriend? But >> yeah, I had another situationship that was like maybe 7 months. This was also a long time ago. >> Was that that was after >> I don't care, you know.

Dakota>> What do you mean >> about I mean everyone? Yeah. Yeah. No, like children. I'm so No, I mean I I advocate for a for people to have families and I totally believe in the

Dakotanuclear family. Um I just love being alone. >> Okay. >> I do. I love my peace. I love my dogs. I you know >> the dogs. Okay. >> But yeah. >> Do you let's say you were to meet the

Dakotaright guy though. Do you think you would want kids or are you kind of not not wanting kids? >> No. No. I mean who knows? cuz you can meet someone and then your entire perspective on life could change and you could want things you never wanted before.

Brian Atlas>> So, who knows? But as of right now, there's not a single person that I could imagine having to be connected with for the rest of my life. >> If you were, let's say you found a great guy tomorrow.

Brian Atlas>> Mhm. >> And he uh actually I'll save that for I'll save that question for later. [laughter] Um, but okay. So, you were uh 26. You lost your Virginia at 26 to a

Brian Atlassnowboarding Olympian. [laughter] >> Uh, that's that's cool. But like in college, did you you didn't date at all? A lot of people date in college. They, you know, >> definitely did not. >> Were you in a sorority? >> I was in a sorority. Yeah. I went to

DakotaUCLA. I was a Delta Gamma. >> DG. What's up? >> Yeah. Okay. >> Uh, DG, do you know? Is there a chant? >> Uh, I know. Like we did this a lot. >> What's like the wave? Ohoy like a long

Dakotatime ago. Yeah, >> that's a DG thing. >> Okay. Do you um still kick it with any of your sorty sisters? >> No. I mean, we're friends on the internet and that's about it. But I was

Dakotain music at the time, so I was out on tour a lot. Um and then I'd come back to school. Yeah. >> Were you a stage hand or what was >> No, I was um really close with the band

DakotaParamore. I got my start in music when I was 18. Uh they were my first interview and we hit it off and were friends for like a decade. So I'd go out on the road with them and I just was kind of like,

Dakota>> you know, a little detached from the sorority, but you know, still lived in the house. >> So you would like um were you doing like media or press for them for Paramore or what were >> Well, for them I was mostly just on the road hanging out like we were buddies.

DakotaSo >> was there who uh what's her name? The lead singer. >> Haley. Were you friends with Haley? >> Yeah, we have matching tattoos. Yeah. [laughter] That's dope. >> Pretty tight. >> Yeah, she's cool. I I like her. She's a really good singer, too.

Brian Atlas>> She I mean, yeah, I What's their uh I have their hit on my one of my playlists. Their >> Misery Business. >> Misery Business. Yep. >> Yeah. >> And can you sing it? >> I can, but I won't. >> Come on, [laughter] blast it. But uh and

Brian Atlas>> No, you'll have to pay, right? >> I I liked their new They had a hit I think like two years ago. >> Ain't it fun? >> Ain't it fun? >> I think they won a Grammy for that one. >> Yeah, that I like that one, too. >> Yeah. normally like bands that were,

Dakota>> you know, big 10, 20 years ago. >> Yeah. >> I mean, I've worked in music for 20 years. They are incredibly talented.

Brian AtlasLike, they are truly talented people who are deserving of all the success that >> I saw them do online. I saw like an acoustic cover of Misery and she's a good singer. She's a really good singer. >> Uh [ __ ] we should have You should bring

Dakotaher on. >> Yeah. I mean, if we were still talking, we've kind of drifted away. >> Oh, yeah. You guys had like a little >> We didn't have a falling out, but like um Oh, God. I don't I'm not going to air

Dakotalike dirty laundry, but let's just say we like kind of went separate ways. I was in college and she was, you know, obviously like a musician and >> we just kind of like drifted apart. I love her to death.

Dakota>> Does she have kids? I don't think she has kids, right? So you guys are kind of like a little bit in the same boat because >> because uh Yeah. You know, just >> Yeah. >> focusing on >> Yeah, we were tight. Yeah. Haley and I were tight for a while. >> Hey, let's get [laughter] Haley on. That'd be sick.

Dakota>> I would love that. I mean, I I have her email. I can Yeah. >> Yeah. Sh shoot her an email. >> She's she's very mysterious. She, you know, she tries she keeps very quiet and to herself in private. >> I'm not sure if she would want to be on

Dakotathe show. I think she just said that uh if you're a Republican, don't don't come to her concerts. No, she said if you're racist or misogynist, you know what she meant. Something along those lines. You know,

Dakota>> she's Christian though, right? >> Well, she grew up. The whole band grew up Christian. They were the I mean, I got my first Bible from Josh, you know, after like a really um deep and intense like conversation we were all having

Dakotaabout, you know, >> uh Christianity. But um I think she's kind of like I I don't know. I can't speak for her, but it it seems as though she's kind of like >> Gotcha. >> stepped away from that. >> Cool. Cool. Well, all right. Um,

Brian Atlas>> sorry. I don't mean to monopolize. >> No, no, it's all good. Um, so, okay, besides the 2-year guy, there was a guy you were seeing for 7 months, >> but this was all long time ago. >> Yeah. >> Um,

Dakota>> I mean, when's the last time you've ever, I guess, been involved with somebody? >> I've been celibate for like three years. Well, >> celibate for three years. >> Involuntarily in Hold on. [laughter] involuntarily celibate for three. Hold on.

Dakota>> Yeah. >> Not it. Well, um >> wasn't expecting that. >> Yeah. >> Well, I don't know if you're involuntarily celibate. I think you're voluntarily celibate. >> No, I would I mean I'd obviously love to go on dates and like meet someone, but you know,

Brian Atlas>> but Well, when you say celibacy, we're talking about sex, right? >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Um so, I mean, you're voluntarily not having sex. >> I really don't want to. >> Watch here. I can fix this immediately after I showed you one more sex. [laughter]

Brian Atlas>> No, >> you you're now voluntarily. I mean, all right. I' I've just turned you from a incel to a volel. >> Congratulations. [laughter] Oh, >> very. >> Yeah, that last it lasts for 6 weeks, by the way. So, I'll proposition you again

Brian Atlasin 6 weeks and you'll continue to be a voluntarily voluntary celibate. >> We'll circle back. >> We'll circle back. Yeah. >> Uh, so, okay. You've been celibate for three years, though. Um, have you been on any dates in that time period, though?

Dakota>> Yes. Yeah. How often would you say you go on dates? >> Well, I'm on Rya and Hinge and I talk to a lot of people, but I never like follow through with going out with them. >> Do you think uh in terms of what you're looking for, would you say you have high

Dakotastandards? >> No, not at all. No, >> they're on the floor the standards. [laughter] >> Not on the floor, but like I don't care how much money you make. I don't care what you do. No, I don't care. >> Like, so you'll date a guy at McDonald's or

Dakota>> Yeah. He's got an energy that like >> get this girl a cashier burger flipper. >> I mean, they have to have like a, you know, jane sequa, like a quality about

Dakotathem that's like undeniable. And you can work it. You know what I'm saying? Like, as long as you've got like an energy, >> some charisma. >> Yeah. Some charisma. You have this, you know, >> there's a lot of >> There's not There's a lot of really

Brian AtlasThere's a lot of really insecure, you know. Yeah. Well, uh, send them my way. >> I will get you. Do do you are there any carveouts when it comes to the fast food? Like if they work at Chick-fil-A, you don't [ __ ] with them?

Dakota>> No. I I mean I don't eat fast food, but you know that doesn't it doesn't really matter to me. >> So any fast food establishment I can link. >> Well, you're really honing in on that part, but uh yeah, sure. >> Okay. But so don't care. What about other things? Like do you care about

Dakotaheight? Anything like that? >> Yeah. I mean I like athletic people. >> Okay. So can't be obese. >> No, definitely not. I mean I don't mind. >> What about like a dad bod? >> Yeah, I don't mind a dad bod at all. In

Dakotafact, I don't like, you know, >> these dudes for X. >> No. Oh, no. Oh, I'm sorry. Yes. [laughter] >> Not my body. Forget that. Not my body. >> Uh, >> like all yolked. No. No.

Brian Atlas>> Like what about like Brad [laughter] Pit Troy or Fight Club? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's that's fine. Yeah. >> But you don't want like bodybuilder. >> No. >> Yeah. Okay. >> I like a body. >> Height though? No. >> Yeah. Six foot probably. Six foot. >> I like to feel small, you know.

Brian Atlas>> How tall are you? >> 5'5. >> 5'5. Okay. Um, >> so wait, uh, >> I don't want to short. >> I kind of You said you said you Sorry. What was the thing you said though that you don't

Dakota>> about money? I don't care how much >> you You said you your standards are not that high. >> No, >> I don't know. 6 foot. >> That's not That's like really the only thing is like just be taller than me. I don't care how much money you make. Like, you know, and have like a good

Dakotaenergy that like >> Good energy, you know. >> What when you say good energy, what do you mean? Um, oh god, I don't want to just like a guy who I don't want to say like is obsessed with me because I think

Dakotathat that sounds weird, but a guy who's like really really um attracted to me. >> He's really attracted to you. >> Yes. Yeah. Someone who's like really attracted to me, you know? >> Doesn't that give you the ick?

Sabrina (Diabetic)>> No, it depends. >> Does that give you the ick a little bit when he's like, >> "What do you think?" >> A little bit. I mean, if it's like too much, >> no, I'm the same way. >> You want that? >> Yeah, I'm a s. So, it's nice

Sabrina (Diabetic)>> your s. You want the guy to be a s. I don't know if do girls really like that. The >> guys if it's your man. Yeah. >> Yeah. If it's your man, >> but I don't mind being the bigger S. S is like a lover girl, lover boy. I need

Brian Atlas>> Oh, no. Not that. Like I, you know, >> but I think there has to be a baseline. Like I think you have to already have pretty strong feelings for the guy to

Brian Atlaslike that behavior isn't going to be the thing that that I don't know what the right word is that that brings upon your

Brian Atlasattraction to them. Like so just just a guy being insanely attracted to you that in and of itself isn't going to be the trigger uh for your attraction to him. >> No.

Dakota>> Right. So there's got to be other criteria. I have to find him attractive obviously, but that's not like the only thing. >> But then I think at that point once you're already attracted to him, then like >> whether or not he's like being a s I

Brian Atlasthink you're going to still be into him. >> Yeah, maybe. Who knows? >> I feel like once you're in it, I think a lot of women are are uh like you obviously it would be great the guy

Brian Atlasyou're attracted to, the guy you want if he was all over you. But I think, and this applies to both men and women, but I think there is a component of the guy you want doesn't want you. And the guy that wants you,

Dakota>> you don't want him. And that's like basically like if there's one way I could describe what's going on in the dating landscape. I think that's a lot of what's going on. >> Totally. That's why it was I didn't lose

Dakotamy virginity till I was 26 cuz I'd always be interested in someone, they weren't interested in me or vice versa. >> There's an evolution in the relationship [clears throat] though. The girl starts Is my mic on? I'm sorry. >> What?

Jacqueline Thomas>> Okay. Well, the girl starts off liking the guy a lot >> and the guy is really not into you, >> but what happens is he ends up being into you more. That's the simp that you want, not one that starts off, and I

Jacqueline Thomashate saying that terminology, but that's the terminology we're all talking about. They start off like Brian was saying, and then they end up being the ones that are all over you or or being the simp

Jacqueline Thomaspersonality. And that's that's the relationships that last, not the ones that start off where he's like >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's the one that you say is cringe. The one that you don't like and you end up ditching him, >> right? >> There has to be a role reversal over

Brian Atlastime. >> Yeah. Um but yeah, uh I guess we can get into more of that, but [laughter]

Brian Atlasbut were you like going on like hanging out with guys or uh in college at all or not? Really? No. >> Okay. >> No. I mean, there was one guy like, you

Dakotaknow, was I wasn't really crushing on him, but he was like really pursuing me a lot, so that was fun, but nothing ever happened. I teased him a lot. >> You tease What do you mean you teased

Brian Atlashim? >> Well, just like, you know, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Just >> flirting and um >> you know. >> Okay. Um, and then you said you've been celibate for three years. So the guy

Dakotafrom 3 [clears throat] years ago, I guess, how long were you seeing him? >> Like a year? >> Wait, a year? >> Yeah. >> But you said two years and then there was >> Yeah, but he that was just that was not >> just sex. >> Yeah,

Brian Atlas>> for a year. Just sex for a year. >> Yeah. >> Question though, for for all these guys that So there was at least what you've told us so far, there was a two-year, a seven-month, and a one year.

Dakota>> Yeah. Um, has there been like do you want more or have you been satisfied with the situations as they've been?

Dakota>> They're fun and that's, you know, like I don't have any expectations on like getting married. So, I'm just looking for like a companion and um,

Dakota>> you know, I'm a woman who has needs. So, you know, so but I'm not asking for, you know, to lock it down or anything, you know. >> But so at any point in any of these situationships, I guess we can call

Dakotathem, >> were you like >> seeking for a commitment, a title? >> That was when I got my heart broken when I was 26 with the with the snowboarder.

Brian AtlasAnd since then, I've like never allowed myself to like get that close with a guy before. But so you would initiate the what what is this? What are we? Do you want to be my Oh, >> no.

Dakota>> You would you would never So you'd date people for two years and not be like >> cuz I don't I don't want to. No, >> you don't you don't want to. >> No. Only with him, the first guy, did I ever want anything more than just like a situationship and

Dakota>> the only one? >> Did you say, >> "Do you want to be my boyfriend?" >> Yeah, exact. That's exactly what happened. I said I said, "Look, you're going into season. Like I want to definitely make sure that we're together and you're not like hooking up with snow

Dakotabunnies in different you know different parts of t of the you know the world >> literal snow. There you go. >> So um and he was like but I like things the way that they're going and I was like peace. Yep.

Brian Atlas>> Yeah. >> Wait. So but this conversation you had cuz you said you were with him for two years. >> Well off and on for two years. Yeah. >> But so that happened at 6 months one year. That happened at like 2 years of

Dakota>> You waited 2 years to have the >> Well, what is this guy? >> Yeah, cuz cuz we only saw each other a few times, like a month. So, it wasn't like >> And we actually went We actually went I think it was like a year after the first

Brian Atlastime that we were together. We were talking a lot within a year, but we didn't see each other until like >> Oh, well, that's new details. Okay. So, you're saying you guys hooked up, had sex, and then you didn't see him again for a year?

Dakota>> For about a year. Yeah. But we were talking like >> every day. >> What do you mean talking? >> Like we were >> every day. >> Yeah. For the most part. >> When you say talking, texting or calling? >> Texting. Calling. FaceTime. Yeah.

Dakota>> How often would you call? >> Um call I don't know this you're talking like over 10 years ago. Um >> no. I just >> probably like I mean we we talked every

Dakotasingle day. So FaceTime uh you know calling or text I can't remember like how often but we did you know. I don't know, man. That sounds like a lot of work.

Brian Atlas>> I [laughter] don't know. That sounds like a lot of work. >> I It's weird, though, because on one hand, >> on one Wait, hold on. Why? Why though? So, you guys hooked up, you had sex, and

Brian Atlasthen >> God, my dad's watching this. >> Shout out dad. What's up? >> Uh, w dad. Um, [laughter] >> you you guys were talking every day.

Brian Atlas>> Yeah. >> And then later on in your situationship, you started seeing each other more frequently? >> Yes. Correct. >> Why? Uh, like what was the delay in >> You'd have to ask him.

Brian Atlas>> So he were you trying to be like, "Hey, what's up? Let me come >> down." Yeah, totally. Yeah. And it just took a >> You were trying to get him to come to you. >> Either or. Yeah. >> And you're like, "Hey, let me come see you." when he was Oh, he was [ __ ] another girl. >> Yeah, probably.

Dakota>> But you just said you >> Well, I don't know. I I believe him when he says no. So, he was [ __ ] I mean, just to put it very bluntly, >> Sure. Um but it's h it we're [laughter]

Brian Atlas>> okay >> my confusion here >> okay >> is >> how much time per day I'm not at like I'm not looking for on average would you guys say you spent talking like when you

Brian Atlashad a call when you had a facetime 15 minutes 30 minutes an hour >> maybe yeah maybe an maybe an hour you know condensed >> were you and you weren't seeing other guys at this time >> no

Brian Atlas>> and you were making yourself available to him Yes. Yeah. >> That's interest. Yeah, he might be gay. >> He's young. [laughter] >> No, he's definitely not. >> You might have been the beard. >> That's that I give that like a 3%

Brian Atlasprobability chance, but it's in the back of my head as a >> Anything is possible. >> I'm trying to diagnose this situation. >> Yeah, anything is possible. >> I mean, I think that it's it is a bit

Brian Atlaspeculiar on one hand. Uh, like if a guy's not trying to meet up with you, I would I would be my my suspicion here

Brian Atlasis why is he spending all this time even communicating with you to begin with? >> And then I would also I guess ask you. Well, I guess you I mean well I it makes a bit more sense in terms of your

Brian Atlasinterest, but it >> Why is he spending all this time communicating with a woman >> who he's not trying to have sex with? That's weird to me. >> Yeah.

Brian Atlas>> Not just but not even that. He doesn't like moving sex out of the picture. He's not even trying to like spend time with you in person and hang out with you when you're making yourself available to meet up with him. >> Sure. I have to I mean my I'm maybe

Brian Atlasjumping to conclusions. There's another woman in the picture >> or I are you cool like are you just I don't know do I don't think guys I'm very talk to women I'm such a casual

Dakotaperson and like I'm not um >> you're go with the flow. >> I am very go with the flow. Yeah. So if I'm not putting any like restraints or any guidelines on him like I don't want

Brian Atlasto continue talking unless x y and z you know I'm not doing that. I'm just like, >> yeah, >> we enjoyed talking to each other every single day. That's >> these back and forths that you would have, whether text or call. Were you

Dakotainitiating that or was it >> No, it was always I Yeah, because I never because >> What is this guy doing? >> Well, I never wanted to come across thirsty or desperate, especially cuz I lost my virginity to him. I didn't want

Dakotahim to think I was clingy or anything. It actually got to a point where he was like, I feel like you don't even care cuz you never hit me up. stumbled there. But >> yeah, well, I'm not going to I don't care, you know. I I truly don't. And I'm

Dakotanot a thirsty person and I'm not, you know, clingy or desperate. So, I don't come across like that. >> Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. I think I'm >> I'm I'm painting a a picture here.

Dakota>> Okay. >> So, he Wait. Oh, question. >> Okay. So, you meet this guy. >> What was the context of how you met him? Um, I when I was in Hawaii with

DakotaParamore, I met some professional surfers and uh, >> no, Kelly Slater. No, no. So, they're John. >> No, I I think I've met John John at like

Brian Atlasa opening or something. Um, >> no, it was uh, >> uh, what? Makua. >> Mak >> Makua Rothman. >> Girl Surp who's the other girl?

Dakota>> Uh, Lacy Peterson. >> No, she's older. a little bit older. >> Coco Ho. >> Yeah, Coco was a homie. >> Coco. Yeah, she's >> Yeah, Coco was a homie. >> Wait, isn't she married to the MMA fighter? Um,

Dakota>> I think Well, last I don't follow like gossip or you know, tabloids or like anything like that, but the last time I remember she was married or not married to but dating uh another snowboarder. >> Okay.

Brian Atlas>> Yeah. >> The snowboarder boys and the surfer girls would hang out a lot. Isn't Isn't uh Coco Ho isn't she married? She might be married to UFC guy. I'm trying to Max Holloway.

Dakota>> Good for her. >> Wait. Oh, I'm thinking Who am I thinking of? [snorts] >> I'm thinking of somebody else. Okay, whatever. >> Um >> but yeah, through the surfer girls, I met him. >> So, he was in Hawaii, too.

Dakota>> No. Okay. So, when I was I got I knew the surfer girls because when I was out there with Paramore, they took us to have like a a lesson. So, I met Kalia,

Dakotawho's a professional surfer. Um, and uh, weirdly enough, she showed up at one of my friends houses and then I was like, I know you from Hawaii. And then that's how it all like came about. And then she

Dakotaand I became pretty good friends. And then through her, I met the Snowboarder Boys. >> So, you met him in person? >> Yeah. Oh, yeah. >> In California. >> Yeah. Yeah. They all came down uh like

Dakotafor for Coco's birthday, I think it was. How soon after uh after you meet him do you guys have sex? >> Um it was a few months of like talking

Brian Atlasand like you know facetiming and uh texting. >> But were you guys seeing each other in person? >> We met we met in person. We met in person. Yeah, I told. >> And then the next time you meet in

Dakotaperson is that when you have sex? >> Yeah, it was like um the X Games. It was that summer. The world tour. >> Yeah. Yeah. I actually used to work on Warp Tour. How funny. >> Wait, can I have you scoot the mic that way? >> This way? >> Yeah.

Dakota>> Okay. Yeah, I used to work on Warp Tour. Um, but yeah, they came out for uh X Games and uh Yeah. So, and we'd been talking like steady a couple weeks prior to that.

Dakota>> When you first met him, how long had you been uh talking or how long were you guys talking? >> Two weeks. Two solid weeks of like back and forth uh texting. He, you know,

Dakotaplanning he was coming out here. we were going to link up and then you know. >> Okay. So, you you're a virgin, >> you meet this guy >> and then I mean basically your first date you >> Yeah.

Brian Atlas>> You did you tell him you were a virgin? >> Yeah. >> Okay. Uh and what was his reaction when you told him that or >> he cared? Yeah. >> Okay. So, wait like did you guys get

Dakotadinner first or >> No, it was right away. >> Well, jeez, my dad is watching and I >> W dad. [laughter] Oh gosh. Um, it was the warp tour. Warp tour. It was the X Games kickoff party.

Dakota>> Kickoff party. >> Yeah. So, there was like a kickoff party with the athletes and the musicians and stuff and it was that night and I I initiated it. I said, "Where are you staying?" And then we we left. >> Wait. >> Oh, so he was competing.

Dakota>> Yeah. He wasn't competing cuz he's a winter uh athlete and this was summer X games. But skateboarding. >> Yeah. He gets invited to all that. It's like, you know, >> were you Did he invite you there as a Dave?

Dakota>> No, I was already I'm I worked in music for 20 years. Yeah. So, I was already >> He was there. You were there >> and then um >> I asked him to leave. >> So, you meet up with him and you're at

Brian Atlasthe X Games for 15 minutes. >> No, we were at the party for a few hours before I was like, let's get out of here. >> And you So, you go back to the hotel. >> Yeah. And when you say you ask him to

Dakotaleave or what do you are you like excuse me sir do you want to engage in >> well he knew we had two weeks of talking yeah we knew like you guys were flirting we were about the business you know we

Dakotayou know >> we already knew what was what was going to go down >> um so wait were you guys like planning to hook up? not planning, but like we both it was unspoken that we both knew we liked each other. Like he liked me, I

Brian Atlasliked him, and for the first time ever, it was mutual. And I've never >> And then So you guys have sex one time. >> Yes. >> And then you don't see him for a year. >> Yes. Something like that. You only had

Dakotasex one time or was there like a little morning delight or something or >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Afternoon delight. >> No, I mean it was mult Oh my god. >> But but Okay. Okay. Walk me through it. Walk [laughter] me through it. I don't want to expose I'm like

Brian Atlastoo much. >> You're doing totally fine. So, okay. There's like a a little party at the X Games, after party, whatever. You guys go back to the hotel. Do you guys Do you spend the night or he spends the night at your >> I spent the night at his hotel?

Brian Atlas>> At his hotel. And then do you guys like kick it that the next day or? >> Well, I mean, I had my group of friends, he had his group of friends, and we >> cuz some of these events are multi-day event.

Dakota>> It was It was like a three-day I think X Games. You saw him every day? I didn't see him every day, but like on the first day, paths crossed. >> First day. >> Yeah, it was the first day. >> So, it was a three-day event. >> Yes. Kickoff party. >> You saw him the first day.

Dakota>> Yeah. And then >> And you lose your virginity to him on the first day. >> Yeah. >> And then you don't see him for day two or day three. >> Yeah. I kind of avoided him. >> You hold on. Whoa. Whoa. What the >> Again. Again, I I didn't want to come

Dakotaacross as clingy. So, when I do, and this is this is a problem that I've had in a lot of relationships. I just will run the opposite direction. I want >> you lose your virginity at 26 and your instinct is to be like

Brian Atlas>> bounce. Yeah, >> 100%. Yeah. >> Okay. Have you been to therapy? >> Yes. >> Okay. Um but not for this. >> What's your [laughter] not for this? Okay. >> Um

Dakota>> was he trying to meet up with you? >> I don't think so. I can't remember. I don't think so. >> I mean, I was rolling with my girls. He was with his boys. I wasn't, you know, it wasn't um >> it wasn't anything crazy. [sighs and gasps]

HaleyWait, didn't you say you were sure he wasn't hooking up with other girls at all time, though? So, you don't think, you know, wherever he was for whichever event that he was, you know, just finding a girl who's willing to, you know, go back to his hotel room?

Dakota>> True. Maybe. >> Um, >> anything is possible, but I genuinely believe him. >> Is he married now? >> Uh, yes. >> RIP. [laughter]

Brian Atlas>> Um, but Okay. >> Dang. Okay. Um, >> was it like kind of freaky? [laughter] >> I doubt >> um >> the talking about the sex. >> Yeah, because why is this dude like that?

Sabrina (Diabetic)>> Like what? >> Like because you said he might be gay. 3% chance. >> I don't know. It's just >> like what's his reason? I don't know. >> No, I don't know that. I give that like a 33% chance.

Dakota>> All right. >> Pro probability. 3.33. >> Is he older than you? >> Younger. >> By how much? >> Oh gosh. Um, I think he was 22. I was 26. >> I took some milk. >> Wow. [laughter]

DakotaOkay. >> Don't I have to be a mom? >> Cougar over here. A little cougar. >> Yeah. >> Wow. This is an interesting >> It gets better. >> Oh, it gets better. >> We're Wait, it gets better. Okay, here's

Brian Atlaswhat we're going to do. I want to introduce the other people, but we'll come back to it. [laughter] >> Keep That's juicy. Keep going. But uh wait, hold on. >> I know I'm a very confusing.

Brian Atlas>> You're saying it gets better? >> Yeah. Like good. >> Yeah. >> Oh, >> but wait. Question. Are you religious? >> I'm I believe in something. I just don't know exactly what. >> But when when you were 26, when you were

Brian Atlasyounger, were you like anticipating waiting until marriage or you wanted to? >> I wanted to. Yeah. >> You wanted Hold on. You're you're you're an attractive lady living in Southern California where there's no shortage of

Brian Atlasmen who will definitely have sex with you at UCLA. There's no shortage of frat boys at UCLA. You were in a sorority at UCLA. >> Yeah. >> You wanted to have sex. >> What is the missing piece here? I feel

Dakotalike there's a missing piece. >> I like guys who don't like me or they like me and I don't like them. And that's always the way that it's been. And for the first time, we I finally

Dakotafound someone who liked me as much as I liked them. And that's literally all it took. >> The Olympian super awesome. Was he famous? Kind of. >> No.

Dakota>> No. But he was attractive. And >> I thought he was attractive, but like, you know, >> his friends didn't. They're like >> every not everyone likes, you know, chocolate chip ice cream, you know? Like everyone's likes different things. Yeah.

DakotaYou know what I mean? Like >> you might this whole panel might find him disgusting, but I found him. >> But you said you were like really into him. >> Yeah. >> So you you you have at up until that

Brian Atlaspoint the most intimate moment of your life. You lose your virginity to him. >> Well, I guess we already went over this, but your instinct was to not try to see him again.

Dakota>> Yeah. Well, not actively not try to see him again, but definitely not be like, "When are we going to hang out? When are you coming back? Were you like Were you like >> not anxiously? >> Hey, uh you know uh what are you doing tonight?

Dakota>> Well, he lived six hours >> for that event. >> Oh, I mean, yeah. I think you're talking this is like god over 10 years ago. But I'm sure I texted with him like, "What are your plans tonight? Are you going to

Brian Atlasthis event? Are you going to that?" I'm sure we had that kind of communication. But no, it's hard. >> I don't know. I think a rule I think a rule um a guy rule >> okay

Brian Atlas>> you know is if you took a take a woman's virginity at 26 at the X games you have to [ __ ] her at least two or three more times I think that's the >> I think that's the you know that's the rule it's a law probably >> you got at least have sex with her two

Dakotaor three more times >> he was um the pri the priority was fun for him it was always like you know I I have to have fun and maybe I was like

DakotaNot, you know, I was second on that list. So, it was like party party. >> Okay. And then Yeah. >> Yeah. I guess you, you know, young guy, young guy, >> hanging out with his friends, partying, going down. Yeah.

Brian Atlas>> Yeah. >> So, uh Okay. But then it gets worse or better or I don't know. You said there's more. >> I meant just about like life in general, but Yeah. >> Oh, >> but you said there was more with him.

Dakota>> Yeah. >> Okay. I'm going to I'm going to tread lightly on that one. Just to protect >> Oh, what do you mean? Did >> just to protect people? >> Punch him or something? >> No, [laughter] nothing violent.

Brian Atlas>> No, no violence or anything. >> No, absolutely not. >> Okay. Um well, I'm going to um How about you? >> I'm going to let this [laughter] chat come through. >> Uh Adzills, thank you, man. Uh and then

SPEAKER_00we'll get to the next the next interview. Why is it so loud? >> Adzills donated $200. Yo, Brian, your favorite Brit is back. Had to miss the last steam, but saw

SPEAKER_00Felicity questioning the stupidity of the Muppets on the last panel. Chair for impressive stuff. #free Felicity #ichelisk. >> Yo, Adzill, thanks for the message, man.

SativaReally appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. Um, all right. What about you? >> Uh, I'm currently in a relationship and then my longest one was like four or five years kind of on and off. Uh, currently in a relationship for the

Jacqueline Thomaslongest four to five years. How long have you been current? >> Uh, like a year and a half almost. >> All right. Uh, what about you?

Jacqueline Thomas>> Oh, that was short. [laughter] Um, I have been with my husband since 2008. >> All right. So, that's >> And he's my longest relationship. >> How long have you been together?

Brian Atlas>> Since 2008. >> Oh, I thought Sorry. I thought you meant you were married in 2008. >> No, we were married in 2012. Ah, >> together since 2008. >> So like married for about 13 years, I'd say, >> right? >> Kids? >> Yes, four.

Brian Atlas>> Four kids. >> All right. Any kids from any other men or just >> No, he's No, he's the one. >> Gotcha. Uh, all right. What about you?

Haley>> Uh, well, I've been seeing a guy for 15 months now, but he doesn't want to call me his girlfriend or anything, you know? So, I'd say I've never had a boyfriend,

Haleyyou know, where someone wanted to be committed to me. Maybe I just don't complain enough. I just like, okay. >> And also, I don't care if I seem way too into somebody at all, cuz I am. I'm pretty desperate man, you know, at this

Haleypoint. I'm 33. >> But you're a desperate man. >> No, I'm desperate man. [laughter] >> Did anybody else know? >> Yeah, I heard it that way.

Brian Atlas>> I heard [laughter] Okay. Um, >> no. No, I'm not. I'm I'm a female. >> That's fine. Um [laughter] it would be fine if you were trans, too. Um I'll just You caught me off guard there with the man thing. Um [laughter]

Brian Atlasokay, so 15 months and what's the longest period of time you've not had a boyfriend? I guess. >> Huh. So what I mean is never. But >> well, you've seen guys, but none of them

Haleyhave been your boyfriend. >> Yes. Uh I'd say well the longest dry spell I had >> No, no, no, no. Longest period of time seeing a guy. This one. >> Oh, this one is the longest. 15 months. >> Yeah.

Haley>> Okay. Besides far by far >> besides him. But besides that, maybe there's a guy who's three monthsish less than that. >> Three. Three months is the next longest. >> Yeah. Okay.

Haley>> And then after that it goes into one month less territory. >> One night. That sort of thing. >> Yeah. Too many of those. >> Too too many of those. Okay. >> Yeah. >> Um and then so Okay. This current guy

Brian Atlasthough, you've been seeing him for 15 months because when you responded to us on Instagram, you said you're actually single when you responded.

Haley>> I mean, I would basically I am because he openly, you know, is seeking out other girls. I mean, not even for a girlfriend. He just, you

Brian Atlasknow, likes to I don't know, just whoever is willing. Okay. So, you're um let me ask some clarifying questions here. >> When you say you've been with him for 15 months, do you mean consecutively?

Haley>> Yes. >> Not on again, off again. Okay. I count 3 months here, four months there. >> No, we I mean anytime we do everything together, you know, like really close friends would, you know, going out to

Haleyeat, going out, doing activities, movies, things like that. It's just commitment is hard for him for some reason, which I don't get and I don't push the issue.

Brian Atlas>> So, you've been seeing him for 15 months. Uh, but do you push the attempt for exclusivity?

Haley>> Nah. Uh, I I I suppose I don't, you know, I I let him know I'm not loving it. You know, if I find some evidence, he he can be pretty sloppy about it. But

Haleyone time I found a like a bra underwire. I don't wear bras with underwires. Just little things like that. Or else he's been watching some DVDs, you know, which is what he did the the night that we met, you know, he breaks

Haleyout the DVDs. >> Do you guys live together? >> No. No, we live in the same city. Like 15 minute drive. >> Okay. Um and so did he tell you from the get-go? Okay.

HaleySo here's my understanding. You're not seeing any other guys, correct? Oh, no. Not at all. No, not even >> months. Have you been with any other men? >> No, I haven't >> dated any other men. >> No. Before him, I hadn't been with a guy in 3 years almost.

Brian Atlas>> So, you >> like physically or anything? >> For 3 years before >> Yeah. >> This guy. Okay. >> Um and then

Brian Atlas>> Mhm. Okay. Celibate for three years, then you meet this guy. Uh, but did he tell you from the get-go that he wasn't going to be loyal to you? Basically, >> he did. Yeah. I mean, pretty much.

Haley>> How soon? Like on the first date? >> The first or second one of those. >> So, he told you, "Hey, I'm not looking for anything serious." >> Yeah, he did. And, you know, I was kind of disappointed cuz like right off the

Haleybat, he I I mean, he clicked with me with what I'm I kind of like in a guy. Uh it's just that's really the only caveat with him, you know, even now it's

Haleyjust, you know, he's great in every freaking way. But >> how often one big big thing? Yeah. You know, >> how often do you see him? >> Um I'd say, well, it can depend on the

Haleyweek, especially with um my schedule gets crazy. Um but two, it could be two or three times a week, but other times it can be like we'll go a week or two without seeing each other. But we try to, you know, anytime we're free and not

Brian Atlasexhausted from work. >> People have busy lives. You have stuff going on. He has stuff going on. But on average, you would say you see him two to three times a week. Maybe some weeks less. >> I think so. Yeah. >> And then some weeks more, maybe. Is that

Brian Atlasfair to say? >> Yeah. It's as I think it's as often as we would both like to see each other. >> When you guys do hang out, are you guys going out on dates or is it just come over to my house, you go to his, he goes

Haleyto yours, and you guys hook up? Oh, we definitely go out. You know, if I we just went and saw Wicked, too. I mean, give him major prop for putting up with that. I know that's that's boyfriend material right there. Who is willing to

Brian Atlasdo that? >> Yeah. I mean, if you're going to see a the second version of a musical, >> I think you >> maybe we have another beard situation here. I [laughter] don't know. Um that's

Haleythat. Okay, that's interesting. Um do you guys go to the ballet, too? Did you guys see the Nutcracker recently? >> No, that's as, you know, fruity as it gets for him. I don't ask him to do anything much more than that.

Brian Atlas>> Actually, I I give I give [clears throat] a pass on like I I'll allow it. Um. >> Right. >> But uh Okay. So,

Brian Atlasand over time though, it seems like you've continued to Tell me if I'm wrong here, but you've continued to push for a relationship. Is that correct? Not pushing. I would say I'm not pushy

Haleyin the least, but like it's for me. I still have that desire with him, you know, if he ever. >> Okay. But you say you find like Do you find condoms or anything like that? >> I haven't found a straight Oh, >> okay. But you found another woman's underwear.

Haley>> Haven't found condoms. >> But you found another woman's underwear. Is that correct? >> It was a bra underwire. And I don't even own a bra that has an underwire. >> But in any case, he >> It was so funny. you know, he finds it on the side of his bed and he shows it

Haleyto me cuz he didn't know what the hell it was. And he's like, "What? What is this? It's so weird. Like this round U-shaped metal thing. What could that even be for?" And I look at I'm like, "Huh?" I'm like, "Huh?"

Haley>> So, like you don't [laughter] you are you going to just like keep talking to him even though he does that? Like I guess I'm trying to understand if you're waiting. >> Yeah. It's just because I mean we're not

Haleyofficial and and so he told me, you know, right off the bat, so how much can I dock him for that? >> You're not scared of STDs or like stuff like him getting pregnant?

Haley>> Of course. >> But that would be my own dumb fault, wouldn't it? You know what I'm getting into. So >> are you on birth control? >> I am not on birth control. >> Okay. Um

Brian Atlas>> should be. I know. >> So Okay. 15 months. >> No, he's bad for >> he uh you're you're basically in a onedirectional unidirectional open relationship. Open on his end, closed on

Brian Atlasyours. Is that fair to say? >> Just as far as hold on question. >> So, >> has he closed it on your end or is it open but you don't [ __ ] other men?

Haley>> And I asked him, you know, just jokingly. I'd be like, "What would you think if I, you know, got with the guy?" would not like an I'm not talking about an actual person that I know in real life, but if we're watching a video, I'm like, "Hey, he's pretty hot. What would

Haleyyou think I if I, you know, slid into his DMs?" He's like, "No." Uh-uh. And I'm like, "Wait, so you wouldn't be okay with me even just like having a nothing hookup that would led to nothing?" He's

Haleylike, "Oh, heck no." All right. So, yeah. Yeah. One directionalish. >> It's It's okay. It's It's open on his

Haleyend, closed on your end. um basically >> is am I understanding is that fair to say? >> Yeah. And I would say you know in the beginning for the first maybe even the

Haleyfirst half so you know 7 months or so I just like wasn't looking at dudes whatsoever. You know they might as well not exist you know just looking at my phone if I'm walking down the street even though I live in a big college

Haleytown. Not that I get with college dudes, but I'm just saying there's like a lot of young guys who >> took some milk. [laughter] Um, but so there's guys there's plenty

Haleyof options out there, but I'm not I wasn't looking till maybe like now on the second half of this. I'm like, yeah, looking a little bit. Still haven't done anything, you know? I haven't gone on a

Haleydate with another guy, let alone more than that. So, are you con Oh, did >> I was just going to ask where would you rank your self-esteem?

Haley>> You know, it's higher than you think. Uh I think my uh selfrespect, how I treat myself is lower than that. So, I know,

Brian Atlasbut >> Okay. So, you've never had a boyfriend? >> Yeah. >> Okay. Um and uh can you describe the guy you're currently dating?

HaleyLike what? Physically, >> uh, looks and >> Oh, he's very very attractive to me. I think he's a real cutie pie. Um, >> wait, he's attractive to Sorry, did you say to you?

Haley>> Yeah. >> He's attracted or attractive? >> Attractive. Attractive. You know, he's easy on the eyes in my opinion. >> And, you know, I usually don't get >> What's he do for work? >> Oh, he is. Oh, I don't want to get too

Haleyspecific. I guess I'll He's just Okay. He's an engineer. >> Engineer. That's make good money. >> He does. Um, six figures. Low six

Haleyfigures. >> Okay. Uh, and then how tall is he? >> Uh, he's over six. Tallest guy I've ever, you know, been with at all. You

Haleyknow, I I like I love my short kings. So, as long as they're, you know, for me it's five foot four is my minimum. Other than that, I don't care at all. You know, I prefer someone who's like closer to me, so I don't got to sit on my tippy

Haleytippy toes, >> but I don't mind stepping on my tippy toes for him. >> So, he's 6' one, 6'2. >> I think it's one. I think it's one, six foot one. Yeah.

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