Alex Stein DESTROYS Whatever Podcast?! 4 Dates In 1 DAY?! HEATED Chivalry Debate! | Dating Talk #266
Date: 2025-10-27
Duration: 8h 38m
Guests
Brian AtlasIdentified Speakers
SPEAKER_03Paige (Alex's GF)(guest)
SPEAKER_04Marley Jay / Amelia(guest)
SPEAKER_05Jenna (Paris)(guest)
SPEAKER_06Melissa Pereira(guest)
SPEAKER_08Brian Atlas(host)
SPEAKER_09Alex Stein(guest)
SPEAKER_10Colette Fair(guest)
SPEAKER_11Camila (Cam)(guest)
SPEAKER_12Megan(guest)
SPEAKER_14Taylor(guest)
Key Moments
00:00:13
IntroAll 9 guests + Alex Stein introduce themselves
00:17:48
IntroTaylor (18) introduces herself as helicopter mechanic, surprising the panel
00:58:49
ControversyMegan reveals she cheated on 2nd husband during parole agent academy. 'I'm not a good person.'
01:30:45
QuoteAlex Stein's famous AOC clip: 'my favorite big booty Latina'
01:46:00
Key MomentJenna calls Alex 'cringe,' he fires back: being a porn star with kids is more cringe
02:18:15
Key MomentBrian: if you want me to lead, you need to follow. Being obedient, submissive. Women don't want to do those things anymore.
03:15:00
Key MomentBrian: if I have to die for a woman, the least she can do is obey and be submissive
04:53:00
QuoteMarley states $300K minimum for husband despite not making six figures herself
05:05:00
ControversyAlex presents controversial theory that segregation had positive economic effects for black communities
07:51:05
OtherJenna's porn origin: stumbled into Kink.com at 18, recruited as $1,600 extra while making $9.50/hr studying neuroscience
08:02:38
OtherAlex introduces girlfriend Paige: 26, TCU finance grad, met at OAN
Topics Discussed
00:00:13
Guest Introductions
Diverse panel: Marley Jay (37, holistic wellness/DJ), Amelia (26, OF/macromastia), Colette (52, therapist), Camila (29, aspiring actress), Jenna (31, porn star since 2013), Megan (34, parole agent), Melissa (32, ballroom dancer from Canada), Taylor (18, helicopter mechanic). Alex Stein joins as guest comedian.
00:27:27
Relationship Status Round
Colette married twice. Megan divorced twice, cheated on 2nd husband during academy. Jenna polyamorous with a cop. Discussion of child support/alimony.
01:29:43
Alex Stein Viral Clips
AOC 'big booty Latina' clip, ICE protest, city council. Jenna calls it 'cringe,' Alex fires back about being a porn star mom.
02:11:15
Chivalry Debate
Brian: women must be followers to earn chivalrous treatment. Colette pushes back. Discussion covers paying for dates, sidewalk rule, taking a bullet, submission.
02:21:55
Colette's 4 Dates in 1 Day
Did 15-minute Starbucks meet-ups to efficiently screen online dating matches.
03:35:00
Cultural Appropriation / Dreadlocks
Whether Marley Jay's dreadlocks are cultural appropriation. She explains it's part of her Hebrew heritage.
04:16:10
Self-Ratings / Body Count Reveal
Most give 8s. Jenna rates 4 (bad skin day). Body counts: Marley 11-12, Amelia ~34, Colette 14, Jenna 79, Megan 10+, Melissa 30+, Taylor 1, Alex ~20.
04:50:00
Feminism and Nuclear Family
Alex: society deliberately pits men vs women. Feminism weaponized to destroy nuclear family.
04:52:48
Income Requirements
Marley $300K (most controversial). Amelia $100K. Colette $200K. Jenna $80K. Megan $160K. Melissa ~$14,560. Taylor $100K.
05:03:20
Manifestation Debate
Extended debate on whether manifestation is real. Alex 'manifested' his AOC encounter.
05:17:50
Women's Rights and Oppression
Colette argues women don't have truly equal rights. Brian presents greater male variability hypothesis. Alex says women are somewhat oppressed through abortion encouragement.
06:05:00
Segregation Theory
Alex presents controversial theory that desegregation had unintended negative economic consequences for black communities.
06:45:00
Weight Rejection and Height
Debate over weight rejection hypocrisy with height preferences.
07:51:05
Jenna's Origin Story in Porn
Stumbled into Kink.com at 18 thinking it was Renaissance building. Paid $1,600 first appearance vs $9.50/hr job.
07:57:33
Makeup Removal
Canadian super chatter Pasty George ($3000+ in donations) promises Brian laptop if all women remove makeup. Most comply.
Transcript
Page 3 of 9
01:58:57
Colette Faira problem with her having sex with minors on film. I mean, I'm not I'm not okay with anyone harming minors in any way. >> Here, let me let me ask a super simple question. Uh, overall in general, is
01:59:08
Colette Fairporn good for society or bad? >> Bad. Well, that's for you. >> I mean, I can kind of see I I don't have a black and white answer to that. I don't think porn is all bad for society. That's my opinion. >> On the balance of, you know, the
01:59:23
Colette Fairtotality >> on the balance, I would say it's probably not great in that it's highly addictive. It can be really hard on relationships. >> What What about the actual women who are in the industry? Is it bad for them,
01:59:35
Colette Fairtoo? I I think it can be. But I do know Well, I know women that feel very empowered by their jobs who I are sex workers. >> Being a prostitute is empowering. >> I think if somebody tells me that they
01:59:47
Colette Fairfeel empowered in their life that I'm going to believe them. It wouldn't be my personal choice. >> Do you feel empowered? >> No. >> But she's not every sex worker. I mean,
01:59:58
Colette Fair>> feel like a lot of sex workers put on that facade that, oh, I'm so empowered by this. But I'm not going to tell like I'm not going to paint a broad brush stroke and assume that every single person doesn't have any agency in their
02:00:10
Brian Atlasthe job that they choose. >> But I mean if we want if we want like a cohesive strong society high trust society like look I understand porn is legal like there there's no dispute
02:00:23
Brian Atlasthere. it's currently out there. >> But I mean, if practically speaking, I I don't think you can come away from looking at porn and think overall on a balance of everything in totality that
02:00:34
Colette Fairit's it's an overall good force in the world. >> Okay, that's fair. But are do you think all porn should be gone? Like you think anyone using porn that it's necessarily a bad I mean I know a lot of people that
02:00:47
Colette Fairthey use porn in their relationship. They use porn in moderation. They don't have a problem with it. If two consenting adults are looking at porn that's made by consenting adults,
02:00:58
Colette FairI don't I don't even watch porn. So, I'm not here to like champion porn, nor am I saying there aren't probably like oppressive components that aren't good for women. I'm not trying to be the
02:01:09
Colette Fairposter child of porn. But I don't I also I don't know. I know a lot of people that porn's a part of their sex life, but it's not hurt. It doesn't seem to be hurting anyone. Well, I mean, if you had a female client who came to you and
02:01:22
Brian Atlassaid, you know, my boyfriend, he watches porn. He's not addicted, but he watches it and it displeases me, >> would you say there's something wrong that the boyfriend is doing there?
02:01:34
Colette Fair>> No, I would not. But what I would say is if what I would say as the person's therapist, as the couple's therapist, is that if it's a problem for you, it's a problem for the relationship. I'm not there to like kind of get people to see
02:01:47
Colette Fairit my way. I see. >> And my husband, I don't think he's a big consumer of porn. I mean, maybe he's watching right now and laughing that this is what I think. But like if he >> What if he's masturbating right now? >> I mean, he could be. He could be >> watching porn.
02:01:59
Colette Fair>> I would like not be mad actually. I really wouldn't. But I think if porn were interfering with our sex life or if he and I have dated someone who's a porn addict, so I am sensitive to it in that
02:02:11
Colette Fairsense. Plus I have worked with many many couples where one partner is a sex addict or recovering sex addict. So I know it can be very very destructive. >> But yeah I mean ultimately though the
02:02:22
Brian Atlasgenesis of this conversation started when uh she was calling Alex cringe. >> Yeah >> for making some jokes and then or no no for his job. I guess he's cringe for his
02:02:35
Brian Atlasjob. What was the phrase? The big booty. Oh, the big booty wasn't even about that particular video. And he's like, well, hold on. Who are you? Alex is like, who are you? >> That wasn't stage. It was a real protest.
02:02:46
Alex Stein>> It seemed so staged. That was the only reason. Real counsel. >> That was a real counsel. >> No, no, no. I mean, the protest. >> Well, it was real, but whatever. It doesn't matter. >> That seems like a lot of effort to do like a one minute
02:02:59
Brian Atlas>> Yeah. >> like I'm going to hire a bunch of Mexicans >> to pretend to beat the [ __ ] out of me. >> I mean, I guess you could get away with it. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> But I mean, uh, anyways, maybe we'll move off of the meta conversation there, but
02:03:12
Marley Jay / Amelia>> you called him cringe. He called you cringe for >> That's okay. >> Being a porn star. I mean, >> I think that's fair game. That's fair. >> It's disgusting and cringe. >> You know, to be cringe is to make money. And to make money is to be free.
02:03:24
Alex Stein>> Yeah. And some things are cringe, you know. I mean, it is. Like I guess it's life, you know, and everybody has different perspectives. Like what some people might think is cool, some other people might think it's cringe. So, yeah. I happen to think it's funny. >> Thank you. I thought it was hilarious.
02:03:36
Alex Stein>> Some people do. I I appreciate that. And it takes vaults, too. I think it's funny, too. >> And not everybody has to think it's funny. And listen, you know, people obviously have, you know, shared the same sentiment as you. So, it is what it is. I'm not worried about that. I just thought it was funny. You're like, cringe, cringe. And I'm like, but I
02:03:49
Alex Steindon't even know why you're that cringe cuz like I doubt you're not like that political like >> No. Is it because all the Latinos are taking all your work? >> Yeah. Is that why you're threatened by >> Yes. Exactly. >> They work harder. The ladies work
02:04:01
Alex Steinharder. for half the money, too. Literally, the illegals are taking over the porn industry. It's actually really damaging the uh the porn. >> I wonder how many illegal immigrants aren't porn.
02:04:13
Jenna (Paris)>> None. We have We have very strict rules on identification >> like a green card though. >> No, you have to have a United States passport. You have to have your identification >> to make sure you're like over 18, right? >> And then they take like consent videos,
02:04:25
Brian Atlaseverything. I'm surprised we didn't do that here. We have some uh we have some messages here from Pasty George. Really quickly, I think let's pull up my tweet. It was the final thing on this. Again, I'm I guess I'm on board with this. My
02:04:37
Brian Atlasfinal thing tweet uh we will allow illegal immigrants if they are female pole vters pathway to citizenship now. So, I feel like me and Alex here have a lot lot in common. Anyways, we do
02:04:49
SPEAKER_00spirits. >> A message from the government of Canada. Hasty George donated $2004. Big booty Latinas. L MFAO. Awesome. Alex
02:05:02
Brian Atlasis the boss. >> Py George, thank you, man. Appreciate the chat. You have a few more coming through. Sorry for the delay on these. We were uh in the midst of heated exchange.
02:05:14
Alex Stein>> Things haven't even gotten hot yet. >> Yeah, I know. >> We got the main topic coming up in just a moment. >> Two hours in. >> Message from the government of Canada. Thank you, George.
02:05:23
SPEAKER_00>> Pasty George donated $2004. Alex is 1,000% correct. The American Constitution guarantees the right to free speech. However, certain groups are
02:05:36
Marley Jay / Ameliaslowly censoring and overwriting specific rights in America. It's time to wake up. >> I agree. >> The whole no kings movement. I love the fact that it's like no kings but kings
02:05:48
Alex Steinwhen it comes to, you know, their political stance and the way that, you know, >> was anybody at the protest? >> I was there. I was there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got attacked at that one, too. >> But the no kings protest, even though I
02:06:01
Alex Steindon't really agree with what their, you know, their messages, but I actually agree with their right to protest. So, you know, I feel like more people should get politically involved and go if they're passionate about something. Oh, you don't like that? I feel like you should go and get involved.
02:06:13
Marley Jay / Amelia>> We're in the matrix, you know? So it's all fake and I think that the political system is just to keep us divided because the top 1% are all going to Epstein's Island. So they're just trying to distract us so that they can do what they would like. Our lives are just
02:06:26
Alex Steinpawns. >> I do agree that we have a uni party where both sides are in on it at the end of the day. So yeah, it's it's really hard to navigate that when like that's what they try to do. They try to make it left first right and most people are like in the middle. And so that's why
02:06:39
Alex Steinlike Donald Trump I think did well because even if like a lot of people don't like him, he is a populist at the end of the day. Like he does want to be liked by the left even though I know the left doesn't like him. So I think if there was another like populist candidate, more candidate, more people
02:06:51
SPEAKER_00would get behind him cuz that's probably where more people are in the middle. >> Yeah. >> A message from the government of Canada. >> Pasty George donated $2004. >> Thank you, Pasty. Any child gets negatively affected once he or she
02:07:04
SPEAKER_00discovers their mother was or still is a prawn star or a girl. Boys are particularly affected especially when their classmates and friends find out. >> Yeah. >> True.
02:07:17
Taylor>> True. >> Yeah. I couldn't imagine like >> true >> if my mom was, you know, shooting porn and my friends are like, "Hey, I just saw your mom butt ass naked getting
02:07:27
Brian Atlasplowed by some guy on the internet." I I would just be like, "Mom, what the what the hell?" >> Do you acknowledge that it's to her point like it's kind of suboptimal at least for the kids? >> Absolutely. Yeah. I don't I don't think
02:07:40
Alex Steinit's a good thing. >> And like I think your kid is going to love you no matter what, no matter what your job is. So it's not like it like it really affects the way that your kid loves you, but it just puts a
02:07:50
Alex Steinunnecessary burden on them around their peers. That's where I'm like cuz like you said, they're nine. They might not be talking about it, but I know those other parents are. and those guys are sharing and they all have group chats and they're all like I'm cranking my hug
02:08:03
Alex Steinblah blah blah and being nasty and I can only imagine that like the other kids might hear it or they might make jokes like that and once again it's just an awkward situation and you know that really the word cringe kind of makes me
02:08:15
Alex Steinthink about like imagine your kid hearing from another parent about your job like that has to be a very challenging uh situation. Kids also find out about stuff like that way earlier
02:08:28
Taylorthan you think they do. And a lot of parents are really naive and think their kids are kind of dumb. When kids find out >> Mhm. >> And the moms, like the wives are not going to like it. >> The husbands are going to be watching.
02:08:41
Marley Jay / Amelia>> Yeah. They're going to be threatened. >> I think that overall we need to focus on not raising snowflake children though, so that they can take a little a little bullying. You know, a little bullying builds character. For sure. >> Yes. Well, like and I was thinking
02:08:53
Alex Steinabout, you know, Brian, because do I want to outlaw all porn? Because I think we should go back to kind of like the idea when it was like Playboy magazine and no ejaculate, no spreading, you
02:09:06
Alex Steinknow, it's just maybe like like there's something beautiful about a woman's butt cheek, but we don't need her to like spread it and have like, >> you know, what did you like 10 midgets near it, you know? I mean, like there's something beautiful about the female.
02:09:17
Colette Fair>> She has not done the 10 [ __ ] >> but it's coming. It's coming. Wait, wait till she's over the hill and that's when the [ __ ] stuff happens. >> So if I went into porn, I'd be stuck with the midgets at my age. That's all
02:09:28
SPEAKER_00I'm getting paid for. >> We We have a another chat here from >> Message from the Government of Canada. >> Pasty George. >> Pasty George donated $2004.
02:09:39
SPEAKER_00Chef five, you are a prom star, which is the most degenerate, degrading job any woman could do. What do you expect people to think? If you want respect as a human being, then start acting like
02:09:52
Marley Jay / Ameliaone. >> Your response. >> Okay. Thank you. >> Thank you. Next. >> Is Py George from Canada or is >> he he is Canadian. >> Oh, we love it. Okay.
02:10:02
Marley Jay / Amelia>> Yeah, he's >> he's very uh very uh he's he's a tycoon. >> He is. Okay. >> He's a tycoon. >> He's always here >> in Canada. Yeah. >> I love that for him. >> Yeah. Good guy. Solid guy.
02:10:15
Brian Atlas>> He saved me from a bear once. >> Oh, wow. Yeah. You were just walking through the woods and you didn't get to pick walking with a man. >> Yeah. Yeah. We were in Canada. I went I went up there for business in Vancouver and uh
02:10:27
Marley Jay / Amelia>> I love we ran into Yeah. We ran into a bear and you know it's my first time seeing a bear and he saved me. >> Wow. >> Pasty George. >> Oh my god. >> We love you pasty George. >> He had the bear spray ready to go. >> Wow.
02:10:38
Brian Atlas>> Oh my god. >> He like shot it a couple times. >> Gosh. Didn't die. >> Did you eat it afterwards? >> Warning shots. Of course. What? >> Did you eat the bear afterwards? >> Uh, actually I think you're not supposed to eat bear. Like it has some sort of weird
02:10:52
Brian Atlaspeople eat things like that. >> Bear. It's like bad luck to eat a bear. >> Yeah, I think you can eat bear. >> You can eat a bear. >> You can, but I think it has to be like cooked. >> It's just not good.
02:11:05
Brian Atlas>> Worms and parasites. >> Maybe just keep the hide as a trophy in case you should, you know. >> Um, we're going to get into uh kind of the first topic. It's sort of bouncing
02:11:15
Brian Atlasoff of a note that Colette sent in. So, Colette, uh, you wrote, hold on, let me find the exact segment here. Quite a few
02:11:26
Brian Atlasnotes, but, uh, we'll start here. You want to push back on the idea that women don't automatically deserve chivalry. >> Yes.
02:11:38
Brian Atlas>> Uh, you say those rituals matter. They set the tone and we all deserve to be treated well. Now, we talk about this comes up on the show frequently. So, I don't know if this is you saw the show and you're like, "Oh, Brian has this
02:11:50
Brian Atlasposition." Um, so when you say women uh push back on the idea that women don't automatically deserve chivalry, the rituals matter. We all deserve to be treated well. Just some clarifying questions. Uh, you think all women deserve chivalry? >> Yes.
02:12:03
Brian Atlas>> All women. >> Yes. >> So, um, >> is this surprising to you? >> It is. And I I have some push back of my own. >> Okay. >> Um >> really quick though, I'm I'm gonna come to the all women deserve chivalry, but
02:12:16
Brian Atlasreally quick, when you say when you also say we all deserve to be treated well, >> does that include men? >> Yes, of course. >> Okay. But can you treat a woman well without doing chivalry? >> Yes. Okay.
02:12:29
Colette Fair>> Yes. I mean, and also I guess it depends how we're defining chivalry. I'm thinking like old school manners like opening a door, being on a first date. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When I think shiver, I think kind of like the bare minimum, like not even going over the top, like you said, like just the paying
02:12:43
Alex Steinfor dates. >> Yeah, like having good I would even call it having good manners. >> Yeah, that's kind of just being polite. I almost don't think that it seems like you have to go over the top to be chivalous, but >> Yeah. Well, so I my my confusion here
02:12:55
Brian Atlasthough is if a man can treat a woman well without chivalry and then by extension a woman can treat a man well without chivalry. Um then I I mean
02:13:07
Brian Atlas>> then why chivalry? >> Well then why the chivalry? And so it seems like when you say we all deserve to be treated well I agree you should you should be respectful but I mean my position would be you can be respectful
02:13:19
Brian Atlasas a man. You can not be abusive. You can treat a woman nicely, politely, respectfully without there being a component of chivalry, which I think adds an an additional layer on top of
02:13:30
Brian Atlasjust a sort of baseline level of respect and treating somebody with, you know, baseline dignity, right? So, what I guess when you say we all deserve to be
02:13:41
Brian Atlastreated well, caked into that is there's a there's a higher burden, a higher duty, a higher responsibility placed on men. Yeah. I think >> through chivalry.
02:13:53
Brian Atlas>> Yes. Yes. >> So, um I guess why >> here, why don't we start with this then? >> Cuz I think I know what you're asking me. >> Well, well, let me I guess let me go to this. Yeah.
02:14:05
Brian Atlas>> You say women don't automatically or sorry, you push back on the idea that I say for example, women don't automatically deserve chivalry. So, for example, it's my position that in order
02:14:16
Brian Atlasto be deserving of chivalry, you should be a lady. So gentlemen provide chivalry for a lady. I don't think we have a lot of ladies
02:14:28
Brian Atlas>> in the modern day. And that hey, look, you can I'm not saying you should be abused. I'm not saying you should be mistreated, but chivalry again goes beyond just respect and treated well. It
02:14:40
Brian Atlasgoes into privilege. It goes into paying for dates, taking certain actions, opening the car door, which I think is pretty benign, but it's this perhaps expectation of it from women. If they
02:14:52
Brian Atlasdon't receive it, they feel uh agrieved or offended. Um why >> what's the female version of >> Well, so my question, yeah, I mean it kind of gets to my my question here is I
02:15:03
Brian Atlasguess one, why should like for example, no offense to her, she's an active porn star who [ __ ] men on camera. Why should
02:15:11
Colette FairI be chivalous to a porn star? >> If you want to date this woman and make her feel special to you, then that's why. >> But that's see that's something >> I don't think what she does for a living
02:15:25
Brian Atlasshould mean that she doesn't deserve that. >> Well, so for example, I think doing the most optimum thing that will yield you the result. Then if we're having like a
02:15:35
Brian Atlaspractical conversation of like the most maxim like maximizing dating strategies, like even if the woman's like a complete [ __ ] degenerate feminist modern woman,
02:15:46
Brian Atlas>> it's going to be to your it's going to be to your benefit to pay for the first date. >> But I don't mean it like that. >> But hold on. But it's going to be to your benefit to to pay for the first date, even if she's like a modern
02:15:58
Brian Atlasfeminist woman. Because women still, whether on a conscious or subconscious level, enjoy those sorts of overtures for men. >> Totally. >> However, from a bird's eye view, if we're looking at the chessboard of
02:16:08
Brian Atlasdating and what's fair and not fair or what's a raw deal for men, I can't help but feel like if women aren't holding up their end of the bargain, then it's not
02:16:19
Brian Atlasfair that men uh there should be an expectation on men to do it or it's not fair if the man the man does do it. I understand it's what's most effective when it comes to dating, but I I can't
02:16:31
Brian Atlasreally get behind this idea that there should be an expectation on men or men should do chivalry to nonlady women.
02:16:41
Colette Fair>> Then what makes a woman a lady? What are you asking a woman to do to do her side of the bargain? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Sure. I mean, I would say that um I would say whatever those sort of
02:16:53
Brian Atlastraditional uh gender roles are, because if your expectation is for a man to pay for first dates, to be a provider, be a protector, do these sort of gestures, open the car door, uh observe the sidewalk rule, whatever it is, pay for
02:17:05
Brian Atlasdates, >> what are the corresponding more traditional gender roles in terms of soc uh cultural or societal expectations of women of yestery year? So, we're holding
02:17:17
Brian Atlasmen to this 1950s bachelor standard, but women are modern women. Y'all are sex workers. Not all, by the way, I want to be fair. Most women are not sex workers, but a lot of women are promiscuous. A lot of women have high body counts. A
02:17:29
Brian Atlaslot of women are dating multiple men at the same time. A lot of women are not obedient. A lot of women are not submissive. So, if you want us as men to
02:17:40
Brian Atlasbe leaders, you need to be a follower. If you want me to lead, you need to be prepared to follow. What does that mean? Being obedient,
02:17:50
Brian Atlasbeing submissive. Women don't want to do those things anymore. Women don't want to follow. You want the benefits of male leadership. But uh I have to follow his
02:18:02
Colette Fairlead. I can't lead somebody who won't follow. >> Okay. So, I will say I will trade in a heartbeat a man opening the door and paying on the date if the bargain is going to be being submissive and
02:18:15
Colette Fairobedient because I couldn't do that even if I lived in the 50s. It's not even in my DNA. But I also just want to push back in the sense that I'm not asking I'm not when I talk about men doing
02:18:26
Colette Fairthese things like opening the door and paying on a first date, I see this as dating rituals. Rituals of courtship. Okay. Courtship. >> Yes. But but not but not designed. I am
02:18:37
Colette Fairnot this is just my opinion. I'm not saying this is a strategic like you want to hook the woman so you should do these things. I'm saying this is a way to show a woman that you respect her, that you
02:18:48
Colette Fairadmire her, that you're interested in her. To me, it is a ritual of mating that is somewhat wired into our innate
02:18:58
Colette Fairmanner of courtship. And I don't think that a man doing those things puts such a heavy burden on men. I >> I disagree, but okay. >> Okay. Okay. I mean to to >> paying for dates. I think that that does
02:19:12
Colette Fairput a burden. >> Well, paying for a Okay. It puts You're right. It puts a burden of paying for a dinner. >> Not a singular date necessarily, although it could. >> Paying for every date. >> But if like, you know, as people do,
02:19:22
Brian Atlasthey can be in the course of a year. Some people might go on 10 20 dates. I mean it depends really but uh yeah that can absolutely place like a financial burden on men that doesn't exist in the other direction.
02:19:34
Brian Atlas>> Um but also I mean even if we're just talking about one singular date the expectation some people do this sort of handwaving away in terms of this burden. But if I'm talking to a guy who makes
02:19:45
Brian Atlas$20 an hour or maybe he's a young guy early 20s he makes $20 an hour. Women have this expectation that men pay for the first date. Maybe let's say you go out to a date and it cost 100 total. >> Yeah.
02:19:57
Brian Atlas>> And I'll be fair, he's only factoring in her portion of the meal. Let's just split it down the middle. Um he's paying $50 for him, $50 for her. That's two and
02:20:07
Brian Atlasa half hours of work for him. A man who's making $20 an hour and well that's before tax, after tax, whatever. Um he's making $20 an hour. Let's say he's working like a physically demanding job.
02:20:20
Brian AtlasWomen are telling men, "In order for you to get my time, for you to go on a date with me," which by the way, that I think that that's that's an equal value exchange going on a date. You have to work 2 and 1/2 hours. You
02:20:33
Brian Atlashave to work two and a half hours. So, when I sit here and I say, "I expect my girlfriend to bow. I expect my girlfriend to be submissive. I expect my girlfriend to do XY to cook and clean
02:20:43
Brian Atlasand all these things." Uh, women have, I think, way higher expectations. Way higher expectations. You want a guy who makes $20 an hour to pay for your first date.
02:20:54
Brian Atlas>> Mind you, you're probably going on three or four dates with other men. So, hold on. Let me let me do one thing at a time. One thing at a time. I want I just want a girl to bow. That's it. I want to bow. We'll play the bow. I don't know if
02:21:07
Brian Atlasyou've seen the bow video. I don't know if you watch the show. >> That takes 3 seconds and takes no effort. Y'all want men. Y'all want men. Y'all want men to he maybe he's like a I don't know he's digging ditches or something. He's a physical laborer.
02:21:21
Brian AtlasTotally. >> That's two and a half hours of work to take you out on a date. I mean my other points here would be why they don't women don't deserve it. Uh again rampant promiscuity. You're not adhering to
02:21:32
Brian Atlasreally any traditional gender roles. You're dating multiple men at the same time. Why am I gonna And look, there's women out there who are properly single, although perhaps they're few and far
02:21:43
Brian Atlasbetween. Why am I going to like treat her to a date when she's like, for example, one of your notes here, you said you went on four dates in a day.
02:21:56
Brian Atlas>> I did. Well, >> I'm sorry. Why am I going to pay on a you I'm getting your sloppy thirds. I'm getting your sloppy. >> There's nothing sloppy happening. Well,
02:22:07
Brian Atlasin any case, why like my my perspective is I me personally, I only want to deal with women who are properly single and who are dating intentionally. A woman who's going on four dates in a day. >> Uh I'm not saying you're sleeping with
02:22:20
Brian Atlasall the guys. >> I didn't sleep with any of them. >> That that's totally fine. But like that's a level of disrespect. I feel I I don't know that to me that would be disrespectful >> to be one of the guys who was among the four. >> Yeah, that does seem kind of like one
02:22:34
Colette Fairday. >> You know what? Honestly, okay. First of all, this was not a regular thing, but I got to the point where doing online dating, I was in my 30s. I got so worn
02:22:45
Colette Fairout from spending weeks messaging back and forth with guys who seemed really great. I got excited about and then I went out with them and met them and there was no connection or they weren't nice or and and by the way, let me say I
02:22:58
Colette Fairdid not expect people to constantly whine and dine me at this extravagant level, especially if they're not making tons of money. Like I don't think that's fair. >> Well, I mean, even you go to Chili's, that's $100.
02:23:08
Colette Fair>> Well, those that that four day I I never went to Chili's. I got I got very efficient about my dating, which is what I decided. And I only went on four dates one time. I mean, that's an ambitious
02:23:20
Colette Fairstrategy. But the idea was I don't want to waste a lot of time back and forth with you anymore. I want to meet you in person as quickly as possible. So, I started doing like 15minut Starbucks. I'll meet you for a coffee
02:23:32
Brian Atlas>> and then if there's a vibe then we can go from there. >> Yeah. >> Well, well, if there's a vibe, but I'm going to have to cut it short because I have to get to my date number three, but >> I did not make anyone feel rushed or pressured.
02:23:45
Brian Atlas>> Well, that's fine. In any case, I me personally, if a girl if a girl was open about that, of course, some women might lie or choose to omit sharing the fact that they're going on multiple dates. If I was on a date with a girl and she
02:23:57
Brian Atlastells me, "Hey, by the way, you're great. Just letting you know I have two other dates planned after this. >> I probably did tell them. >> I'd be like I'd feel a type of way. I'd feel uh I'd be like h
02:24:09
Brian Atlas>> Well, you know what? They sound like great guys. You have a good night with them. >> I I think that's totally fair. >> That's it. But but so I guess my perspective here and even if you were doing what you were doing, >> yeah, >> you could have done it,
02:24:22
Brian Atlas>> you know, one Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, but even that I would take quarrel. even that a woman who had three other dates lined up in that week, I'm thinking to myself, eh, she's she's
02:24:35
Colette Fairkind of playing the field. I don't want to I don't I don't want to deal with this kind of >> But why am I playing the field? Why am I not just trying to meet someone that I actually connect with? And I mean, I wasn't dating people, multiple people a
02:24:47
Colette Fairday. It's not even realistic. I worked a full-time job, but why if I'm going out on three dates in a week, am I playing the field? And am I like seeming promiscuous or something cuz I'm not perm you might not be but that would
02:24:59
Brian Atlasprobably be the important that be what you think. Okay. But I mean like and then you don't want to pay for me or open the door for me if I'm doing that. Okay. >> Absolutely. I don't think so. I don't now I think men will do it anyways because they know that that's effective
02:25:12
Brian Atlasand that's what even if the chick's a total trumpet >> it's still it's still like if you're just trying to maximize >> Yeah. And I mean like some guys are okay I guess dating dating a trumpet but I
02:25:24
Brian Atlasmean I just don't think it's a fair shake for men to do the chival chivalous thing if the women aren't uphold like what women are just not holding up their
02:25:34
Colette Fairend of the deal on the chivalry thing. I hear what you're saying and I will tell you my husband sometimes jokes and he's probably watching right now and he's going to be like I'm not really joking but that there is I I'm gonna admit
02:25:47
Colette Fairbeing 52 years old I grew up at a time where things were a lot more traditional and there were a lot of things I expected for men that I think some of them had a little bit of a double
02:25:58
Colette Fairstandard like I did want in my first marriage things were very traditional but I didn't want to have less of a say or less power or agency in the marriage
02:26:10
Colette Faireven though I did want to be provided for. And I think in that relationship, I did look at my husband as more of a leader. Now, what I'm saying is that I do think there's still something to mating rituals that's very biologically
02:26:23
Colette Fairdriven. I don't think things should be financially unfair. I don't even know that my daughters at 22 and 24 expect men to pay for them. I think things are a lot more I mean, I don't know if you guys even expect to be paid for on a
02:26:35
Colette Fairdate. If I went out on a first date and a guy I went out on one date, this was not four in a day. This guy was the only date of the week and we went to Gators, which is like a Florida bar food place,
02:26:47
Colette Fairand he made me split like a like $20 chicken tender thing. And it seemed a little cheap and was a turnoff to me. But if I were dating somebody today, I
02:26:58
Colette Fairmake plenty of my own money. I feel empowered by that. I don't think I would expect the same thing. However, on a first date or two, I would want a man to show me that he has manners. I would
02:27:10
Colette Fairwant him to open the door for me, and I would rather him do that and then me say, "Oh, no, don't worry about it." But I also think I probably have a lot of old school ideas because I'm old. You know, I don't know if you younger people even care about that stuff.
02:27:23
Brian Atlas>> But I mean, you you say you have these old school ideas and but what are the old school traditions you adhere to? >> Cooking dinner. And I don't adhere to
02:27:34
Colette Fairthem. I'm going to admit to you, I'm I'm admitting that some of I don't think chivalry is hypocritical, but some of what I would say I really want in a man
02:27:44
Colette Fairis hypocritical. I don't My husband cooks, my husband goes to the grocery store. Um I don't know that he's as thrilled with that as he acts like he
02:27:57
Colette Fairis. I don't know. We'd have to ask him. >> Well, I mean, he married you, so he's accepted it. >> Yes, he's accepted it, I guess. And we're Husbands like to cook though. I mean, >> yeah, I don't think he minds it totally. We need a husband to send us super.
02:28:09
Colette Fair>> Well, they do say men are better cooks than women. Like, >> but I'm a good cook. I'm Italian. I'm actually a great cook. >> I mean, I am, but I feel like right now I'm I have like five jobs. I feel like
02:28:20
Alex SteinI'm in a working season. I I'm not I'm not going to cook and go to the grocery store. Well, and Brian, I guess my the the difference I want to make is like chivalry, like opening the car door and even like paying like on the first date
02:28:32
Alex Steinor something because it's so awkward. I feel like that could be, you know, not that's not even that chivalous. That's almost just expected. Chivalry to me would be like giving somebody a ride to the airport if you just met them, you know, like actually going out if they
02:28:44
Alex Steinhad a flat tire or like you don't know the person and you're going out of the way. Like that's chivalry. I feel like opening a car door like buying the first you know because >> but you also live in Dallas where that's
02:28:55
Colette Fairvery ubiquitous like in New York when I grew up men like you like hooked up at a bar and eventually you were like dating after 6 months of that there was no dates there was no car door nothing. I think you're like got the southern
02:29:08
Alex Steingentleman thing a little bit maybe. I mean I saying I just think it's kind of naturally to open up a door for a woman. Like I would think it was rude. Like if a woman is like coming through the door to not open it. That's actually I would almost consider that rude.
02:29:21
Marley Jay / Amelia>> I mean I even see men doing that for women they don't know. >> That's what I'm saying. Like any woman I have to open the door >> and is that a huge burden? Is that unfair to watch?
02:29:31
Brian AtlasWell, I think there's these smaller sort of gestures, but if we're if we start looking at perhaps the financial component, the protection component, uh you know, you look at men paying for dates, women still want men to be
02:29:43
Brian Atlasproviders, protectors, etc. >> Uh and then there's there's sort of other expectations too there. >> Um I'm trying to think of a a good example here. Well, I'd say that sort of
02:29:54
Brian Atlasthe general >> men are still overwhelmingly initiators in relationships. Y >> uh you know this is within the maybe not the purview of chivalry but is it is
02:30:05
Brian Atlaswithin the purview of traditional gender roles where the burden of initiative falls on the man and as women you might not really think about that but overwhelmingly I think something like 99% of first dates the guy's asking for
02:30:17
Brian Atlasthe first date and then every other first step that's involved in that entire process almost always almost always exclusively falls on the man. What does that entail? It entails him approaching you, him, you know, carrying
02:30:30
Brian Atlasthe conversation, asking for your number, following up on the phone, texting you, you know, maybe setting up a call, planning the date, pick maybe picking you up, or maybe you meet there, whatever. Paying for the date, planning
02:30:42
Brian Atlasthe date, uh, moving things forward physically from there. He probably has most men have to go for the first kiss, most men have to move things forward physically. That's if it even happens on the first date, then he has to do all the planning and all rinse and repeat.
02:30:55
Brian Atlassecond date, third date, fourth date, fifth date. All these sort of initial steps are all sort of uh initiative burdens that fall on men that women don't really think about because I think
02:31:07
Brian Atlaswomen generally speaking, not to say, by the way, when I say these things, I'm speaking in generalities. >> Sure, there's that one guy a girl shot her shot with. Your boyfriend you you asked him out. I'm speaking in
02:31:18
Brian Atlasgeneralities. I'm speaking 95 97% of the time the guy makes the first move. The guy asks you out. The guy asks for your number. The guy goes for the first kiss. The guy moves things forward physically. Not all the time. I know there's exceptions, but I'm speaking as a
02:31:31
Brian Atlasgeneral principle the majority of the time. So there there's this massive burden there that falls on man, but then you have the financial burden too. But again, I'm just wondering like where is
02:31:42
Brian Atlaswhat if if we can say men should if we can say men should do XYZ, men should pay for first aids, men should be providers, men should be protectors, what are we allowed to say that women
02:31:55
Brian Atlasshould do? >> Yeah. Um >> what what what duties do women have? >> I Okay, so me and my >> It's nothing. You have nothing. me and
02:32:05
Marley Jay / Ameliamy last relationship where I was in this age gap relationship. Um, our first date was we met out at a bar. Um, but we dated for like six months and you know I helped him uh move into his apartment
02:32:18
Brian Atlaswhen he first found an apartment. >> How long have you guys been dating? >> Um, just a few weeks to be honest. Um, I I helped >> Well, that I don't know if that falls under the you you helped him. That's like a good thing to do I think across
02:32:29
Brian Atlasthe board. But I'm looking specifically what women should do that like a traditional gender role that would really only fall onto like what are the expectations on women
02:32:40
Marley Jay / Amelia>> 100%. And the relationship I was in was very you know he was a big strong man. He used to be in the military. I definitely bowed down to him. I let him lead. I wanted to do that. Um, and I
02:32:53
Marley Jay / Ameliaalso wanted to be as helpful as I could because as soon as I bowed down to him, um, anything that I could do to make him happy made me happy to be able to do for
02:33:02
Marley Jay / Ameliahim. So, at a certain point I, you know, he was a, um, superintendent for construction sites. So, he was making about $200,000 a year. We were live, he
02:33:14
Marley Jay / Ameliawas living in a downtown area. Um, he would take me out on dates. Uh, at one point he kind of fell financially not so great, so we stopped going on as many dates. I was fine with that. I would do
02:33:26
Marley Jay / Ameliahis meal prepping for him every single week because when he would do it when he would do it, he wouldn't put any flavor in the food. And I was like, "No, my man deserves a tasty meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner." And I would I would
02:33:37
Marley Jay / Ameliado that for him. And I would still go to work and come home and, you know, give him massages and, you know, do the things that he enjoyed with him. Um, and
02:33:48
Marley Jay / Ameliayou know, I I really enjoyed being able to do that for him. And and I think that that balance ended up being really nice because he was chivalous. I did feel protected when I was with him. Once we weren't together anymore, I missed the
02:34:01
Marley Jay / Amelialevel of protection that I felt like I had within that relationship and I missed the level of submission I was able to give to him. >> It made me feel comfortable. It made me feel happy. >> So, >> you had something. I feel like it
02:34:13
Taylordefinitely takes a specific kind of man to like have a woman submit to. Like you can't just be any you can't just be like, "Oh, you know,
02:34:23
Taylor>> he was that >> not protective, not secure, like >> the woman's always feeling insecure or like whatever. The man's not this powerful leader or whatever. You're not
02:34:36
Taylorgoing to want to leave. You're not going to want to be dating them. >> You shouldn't be in a relationship with that guy in the first place though. >> Sometimes though, it's like you don't really know a person until you get to
02:34:47
Marley Jay / Ameliaknow them. I mean, he had Christian values right off the bat. And he would, you know, speak on relig. He would preach as if he was trying to be a leader consistently. >> Adult stuff at this time.
02:34:58
Marley Jay / Amelia>> No, I um he did encourage me to do Only Fans because I had started doing social media for about a year at that time. But >> but he was a Christian man who encouraged you to do only things. >> He also had a coke addiction and was an alcoholic.
02:35:11
Marley Jay / Amelia>> Okay. >> But like I said, he was in the military. He was 6 feet tall. He was built he had he had, you know, built this life for himself. And you know, I did not like doing coke, but I submitted to my man
02:35:22
SPEAKER_00who allowed him to be who he was. >> Hasty George donated $2004. Many modern women influenced by feminism do not deserve chivalry from men. This
02:35:34
Brian Atlasdoesn't mean they deserve to be harmed in any way, but they have to earn it instead of demanding it. >> Yo, Pasty George, thank you for that. Appreciate it. Good to see you, man.
02:35:44
Brian AtlasAppreciate it. Uh, many modern women do not deserve chivalry. Yeah, it doesn't mean like if you're a feminist or modern woman that you should be like abused. Absolutely not. You should still be
02:35:55
Brian Atlastreated kindly and respectfully, but if you start demanding traditional treatment from men, >> you ought to be the traditional woman to some degree.
02:36:04
SPEAKER_00>> Sickness crossdonated $200. If she paid for the first date, I'd feel weird, man. Like, I probably ordered knowing I was going to pay. Offering cool, but her
02:36:15
Brian Atlasactually paying, nah, that would throw me off. >> I'm not making the argument that the woman should pay for the first date. Uh I I I mean I would I guess it depends on
02:36:27
Brian Atlasthe circumstances. Like technically they they like to throw out whoever asks should pay. So like in the >> message from the government of Canada. >> Pasty George donated $2004.
02:36:39
SPEAKER_00Chair three. These roles and mating rituals you talk about worked back in the day when women were ladies and acted as such unlike today when many modern women are influenced by feminism and do not.
02:36:52
Brian Atlas>> Yo Pacy George. Thank you man. appreciate it. Just finishing off on uh Signis Cross, his statement. Um but I think if you're a modern woman, I think
02:37:02
Brian Atlasyour expectation should be I'll go 50/50. Like that should if you're going to be a feminist modern woman, >> you should want equality in all
02:37:13
Colette Fairdimensions, in all realms. >> A f are we talking first date or throughout the even first date? >> First date, you bust out your wallet. Now look, I understand that even
02:37:24
Alex Steinfeminist, liberal, progressive, modern women probably still want or enjoy men. Like it's hard to like let go. >> They all want that, Brian. >> No, they do. The most radical feminist wants the guy.
02:37:37
Marley Jay / Amelia>> I don't know about that. My last assistant was a radical feminist and she just wanted a twink boyfriend that she could call her girlfriend. >> That is that is weird. That's a thing. That is a thing actually where like I go to these protests, there's a lot of like
02:37:49
Alex Steintwink guys where the girl is kind of the boss. I've actually seen that like it >> in person. I've seen it. >> But I, you know, I think that there are a lot of uh there are some feminist women who are like, you know what, we're doing 50/50. >> Yeah,
02:38:02
Brian Atlas>> I can respect that. At least they're consistent in their worldview or whatever, but like I think a lot of the women still want the perks. Like you you guys want to be modern women,
02:38:13
Brian Atlas>> but you you want to be modern women, but you want the benefits of yestery year. You want the benefits of historical traditional gender roles. You want men
02:38:24
Brian Atlasto be protectors and providers and leaders and pay for dates >> where y'all not ladies though. Y'all are modern women. If you're a modern woman, hey, you know what? Not my thing, but whatever. I accept it. But you shouldn't
02:38:37
Alex Steinhave these traditional expectations on men. If you're a modern chick, >> go date the soy boy. Date the guy who wants to go 50/50. That that's that's who you deserve. Well, and Brian, actually to your point though, and maybe
02:38:49
Alex Steinthe chat will get mad um if people are going to fact check me, but you know, really ancestrally like in the hunters and gatherers ages, you know, we always kind of think like traditionally we think it's a patriarchy, but actually this is what they say and you know, we
02:39:02
Alex Steindon't have really books, it's like even before they were writing, is that actually the women were in charge because they did have the power sexually and that they could they were actually the ones like in the hunter gathering era where they used like their sexual prowess for power because like they
02:39:15
Alex Steindidn't even have currency and stuff there. Actually women were in charge they say during the hunter gathering era >> like in charge of >> kind of like a lot of the decisions >> society or the >> yes like even even often this is what they say they try to get mad they
02:39:28
Alex Stein>> you know I think that might be that it could be I don't know >> well this is what they say like >> oh that's what they say oh well it's probably it's probably BS but like in the hunter gatherers and then you know then once they >> oh I'm saying once they got religious
02:39:40
Alex Steinthat's where they had to make it like the Catholic priests couldn't they had to be absent because they were banging everybody's wife but before that like before they were even like into organized religion and stuff that the women actually had a lot of the power and that women would actually solve conflicts by sleeping with the same men sometimes.
02:39:54
Alex Stein>> Oh wow. >> Well, and even in domestic I mean in traditional relationships >> I'm talking about a long time look it up maybe try but they talk about the hunting hunt when we're hunter and gatherers before we even had like an organized language.
02:40:05
Brian Atlas>> I I mean I would imagine in hunter gatherer days it was a pretty strong patriarchy. You would think I know >> I'm pretty sure it was very solid patriarchy back in those but I don't know I'm not
02:40:17
Alex Steinan expert in in uh you know >> and this is ancient philosophy. So like like I said I could be wrong. Maybe the men were just clubbing women over the head but actually they said that women were actually a lot more influential and had a lot more power. >> Well I think women have always
02:40:30
Brian Atlasthroughout all time have had massive amounts of influence but it wasn't through force. It was through uh you know typically more of a soft power. Women have always had massive amounts of soft power. They've always had their
02:40:41
Brian Atlashusband's ears. Women have had massive influence in throughout throughout uh all of human history. But I I I guess like it's like men need to provide. Back to
02:40:54
Brian Atlasback to your point. Men need to provide to protect. Men need to be they need to be pure and strong and courageous and and all these things. What do women need to do?
02:41:06
Colette Fair>> [ __ ] There you go. There you go. >> Why do you think my throat sounds like this? >> Just to be clear, I no longer have the expectation that men need to be the provider. Like when I'm talking about
02:41:19
Colette Fairchival, and I think some of this is semantics of how we define it. I'm talking about like dating rituals. And I think there's something to some would say psychologically men like to be the
02:41:30
Colette Fairhunters still that they want to pursue. A lot of women believe that. I I don't know definitively if that's true or if that's just the way men have been
02:41:40
Colette Fairsocialized or if this is another kind of old school belief, but it's one thing to me when you're in the pursuing mode of a way a man treats me. I would always offer to pay on a date, but if it's a
02:41:52
Colette Fairfirst or second date and a guy takes me up on it, it would bother me a little bit. How >> takes you up on the >> Yeah, that's just my own personal thing. And I'm not even going to say it's not
02:42:03
Brian Atlastotally hypocritical. Like I can >> You said you said you would give up like if if you had to be submissive and obedient to your husband or boyfriend, you would totally give that up. I would give up anything. I'm not being you had
02:42:15
Colette Fairto like go 5050, right? But so you're enjoying But I'm going 5050. I mean, I have a very egalitarian marriage. We earn a very similar amount of money. We split bills. We have like a joint. We're
02:42:27
Colette Faira second marriage. So, we had kids, you know, we had a first marriage with other spouses that maybe were more traditional, but we have like what if we ever got divorced, what we came in with, we go out with. There's no alimony.
02:42:39
Colette FairLike, I'm not looking for my husband to support me financially, but I am looking for him to like make me feel like a woman and open the door on a date. That's it. >> But, okay. How of the first few dates,
02:42:50
Brian Atlashe paid for the first few dates, right? >> Yes, he did. Like how soon after how many dates did things equalize? >> Probably longer than you would approve of. >> Yeah. How long? >> Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Probably a
02:43:04
Colette Faircouple months. >> Last week. >> A couple months. Yeah. It's 10 years in and I just started paying for dinner. >> Yeah. Exactly. Well, yeah. So, I think >> No, you're right. There's a hypocrisy to
02:43:13
Brian Atlasit. I don't deny that. But so but the the the crux here is why why should men then uh you know if you want a 50-50 relationship
02:43:25
Colette Fairwhy aren't women contributing 50/50 from the get- go. >> Well I feel that I am contributing except for cooking and Right. >> But you still wanted hm let me do these like
02:43:37
Colette Fair>> dating rituals rituals. Yes. I wanted to be pursued and to feel that I was valuable enough to be pursued even though some people would maybe not pursue me because I went on too many
02:43:48
Colette Fairdates. I mean, I actually think my husband's very old school, very traditional. He's 10 years older than I am, so he's 62. He's super Catholic.
02:43:58
Colette FairHe's like way more conservative than I am. Like, we are not the most likely match that you would if you met us in public. I'm not sure you would put us
02:44:06
Colette Fairtogether in a lot of ways, but I I wanted to feel like I was being courted. >> Well, it's funny that you say that because that's the issue with modern dating is that we have an asymmetrical
02:44:18
Alex Steinproblem when you go on the dating apps that women are getting 90% more messages than men. >> So, it makes it a lot more challenging when a woman has, you know, the pick of the litter and a guy basically
02:44:29
Alex Stein>> sing. So, so and it's also made it very challenging for the guy to I think they said that that the lowest amount of men ever in recorded history are saying that they don't even want to have sex. Like the amount of people that are having sex is low.
02:44:41
Alex Stein>> People are having so little sex period >> which is terrible. But that's because the women are hogging it all up. You know what I mean? They're hogging all the guys that are actually like high value males. You know, like only certain guys are banging all the chicks >> and
02:44:53
Alex Stein>> Yeah. Like the 80% 20%. It's a very weird thing where like if a man doesn't what is it like 666 if not 6' 6 figures and 6 in you never heard that one that's
02:45:04
Alex Steina real thing where girls want a 666 got to have a six six figures 6 feet tall and six so think about this you're on a dating app you're 5'11 women put on the requirement no I'm not going to date a guy under six weightight so think about
02:45:15
Alex Steinhow many people swiped left on their potential soulmate all because of an arbitrary thing about one inch like that's what's wrong with society is >> but men are also so visual and hard on women. I mean,
02:45:27
Alex Stein>> for sure, for sure, for sure, for sure. But men can't really like if you're going to be an ugly man, what do you have to have, you know, to compensate? Money. You know, that's the only time you ever see like a good-looking woman with an ugly guy. But, um, >> which you do see all the time.
02:45:40
Alex Stein>> You do see, well, you know, if they got a lot of money, but yeah, but, uh, that's the one thing as a man. So, imagine this. You're in a modern dating era. You don't make a ton of money and you're trying to hit up a girl that's
02:45:50
Alex Steingetting messages from thousands of other guys. Like it makes it almost impossible >> to be really chivalous. >> That's what I'm saying. That is why you got It's almost even worse though because I
02:46:02
Brian Atlasthink >> like in the past I you know I'm I'm 36. How old have you >> 39? You're 39. So I had a little bit of taste when I was like 18, 19, 20.
02:46:14
Brian Atlas>> Kind of prior to I mean uh Tinder came out like 2012. Uh, dating apps were pretty bad, but I had a little bit of a taste before like, you know, the rampant
02:46:26
Brian Atlasproliferation of smartphones and social media. Granted, I think I was >> I think I was a senior in high school when MySpace just came out, then Facebook. Oh my god. >> So, but it was just the just the tip.
02:46:37
Brian AtlasBut now, I mean, back uh and probably even before I was dating, you know, it it was kind of the norm that people, my understanding was it it was kind of the
02:46:49
Brian Atlasnorm that people would kind of date one person at a time and cuz I don't think people were meeting as many people as they were because there weren't dating apps. There wasn't social media. Instagram's definitely a dating app.
02:47:00
Brian AtlasSlide into people's DMs, whatever. But it's like it would be kind of weird to be like dating all these different Look, to be fair, Sex in the City, Sex in the City came out in like the late 90s and them chicks were >> crazy.
02:47:13
Brian Atlas>> I don't know if that was like an accurate mapped on representation of NYC dating in the '9s or whatever. Probably was. Um, not look, I'm not saying like people were super pious in the '9s and 2000s, like people were hooking up,
02:47:25
Brian Atlasdoing all that stuff. In fact, I think people were having more sex in the '90s than they are now. Definitely. >> I think that it was it tended to be more so like you meet somebody, you give it a chance. If it works out, great. If it
02:47:37
Alex Steindoesn't, next person. Now people have rosters. They're juggling. >> It's all disposable. Everyone's you just swipe. >> The internet did ruin it because like when Facebook went from where you had to have a college account to where anybody
02:47:50
Alex Steincould have an account. >> Um, you know, going back to what I'm saying, Facebook when do you remember when it used to be you only had to have a college account? >> Yeah. You have to have the email. So once they changed it to where everybody could get on Facebook, that was a huge thing. And all of a sudden divorce rates spiked cuz all of a sudden people could
02:48:03
Alex Steinconnect with their old high school sweetheart. >> They didn't have a way to connect. >> So common divorce just skyrocketed when Facebook first opened up to the public. >> You know, my mom actually before she
02:48:15
Marley Jay / Ameliaasked for a divorce, my dad sent her to Key West for her 40th birthday >> and she banged her ex-boyfriend. >> Well, she came back, asked for a divorce and then started dating her high school boyfriend who was stationed in Key West.
02:48:26
Colette FairThere you go. >> I knew that. How did we know that? >> No, the digital dating I think is really bad for connection. It's not authentic. >> But yeah, to my point though, I think
02:48:38
Brian Atlaslook, maybe in the 2000s or, you know, prior to Instagram, prior to dating apps, you know, maybe these dating traditions made a bit more sense. But like there's this other thing and again
02:48:50
Brian AtlasI think most women when they go on a date, you know, I'm not sure exactly where their level of interest necessarily lies, but I think there was a study done on these things called
02:48:59
Brian Atlasfoodie calls where instead of booty call something like 33% of women have admitted in the past 6 months or year to have done a foodie call where they went
02:49:11
Alex Steinon a date with a guy but they didn't really have much interest in. They're just like, you know, >> see that's [ __ ] See, like to what you were saying, I just want to be nice cuz at first I'm kind of like Brian, you know, I don't know if chivalry is that
02:49:23
Alex Steinbig of a deal. Like I I like I can see how there is not the female version of it, but like you know, opening a door, it just seems like almost just being polite. But you are right. There are women that are so sick, but there's actually a thing called being a
02:49:33
Alex Steinhobosexual and they say we're homeless and they'll date you for a house. You're a homosexual or a foodie call. [ __ ] you.
02:49:44
Alex SteinLike get a [ __ ] job. I mean, I'm not trying to just go on on my own, you know, soap box right now, but that is so ridiculous. Did this happen to you? Like, >> no, but I know you're traumatized somehow. >> If they're actually just going out with
02:49:56
Alex Steinme just to get a free dinner, that piss off. And that's why you should always go to somewhere that's like, you know, casual, not expensive. I mean, that's ridiculous. Like, if women are that sick that they have no interest whatsoever with a guy that they just want to get a
02:50:09
Alex Steintriple dipper of Chili's, no, you deserve to go to jail for that. That's like that. someone. I hate that, you know. >> No, I It's manipulative. >> Well, and I do want to be clear. I don't want to say that this is like every
02:50:21
Brian Atlassingle time. I think that this is more unlikely uh than than it is to actually be the case. Like, but it does happen. Or there's girls that do say that they're doing foodie calls over.
02:50:32
Colette Fair>> I've heard that. I've read about it. >> I've never heard one person I know admit to doing that. >> Have you? Have any of you? Never even heard of that. >> I know there's girls online that have posted that where like I've been on five free dates a week. I think some like New
02:50:46
Brian AtlasYork post write an article. >> That's gross. That's gross. >> I think there's a difference though. I think sometimes women even if it's not like a conscious foodie call. I think sometimes women will go on a date with a
02:50:58
Brian Atlasguy where there's like really really low levels of interest and they're like >> I mean look, you're giving the guy the shot, I guess, but I think sometimes you women will just like you'll just go on a date. >> Mhm. >> And it's not you're not necessarily
02:51:10
Marley Jay / Ameliadoing it for free food, but maybe sometimes you're bored. You're like, h >> I actually I have a very viral clip. I think it got like maybe somewhere between five and eight million views of
02:51:22
Marley Jay / Ameliame talking about, you know, the question was, "What do you do when you're not enjoying a date?" >> And my biggest tactic at the time was to
02:51:32
Marley Jay / Ameliapretend like the date was going great and that I was enjoying myself. Um, and then to afterwards just not go on another date with them and not talk to them ever again. Um, you know, >> ghosting should be illegal.
02:51:45
Marley Jay / Amelia>> Yeah. But I mean, and this would just be a first date. I wouldn't continue this on multiple dates. But for me, um, at the age of 19, when I was doing
02:51:54
Marley Jay / Ameliasomething like that, 19 to 21, um, I was partially like really, uh, it was hard for me to communicate how I felt to people. Um, and I was also really scared
02:52:06
Marley Jay / Ameliaof upsetting people. So, I was doing it more so to keep peace. But the reaction that I got was that I was doing the foodie kind of thing and that I was being mean to them. But my, you know,
02:52:18
Marley Jay / Ameliatrying to make the date feel as good as possible was me trying to put in as much effort as I could and be as kind as I could. Even though, you know, cuz sitting at a date and being like, you know, I'm really not enjoying this. I'd like to go home. That felt like that
02:52:30
Brian Atlaswould be a slap in the face to the guy. So, I wanted them to enjoy it. Well, I don't think, okay, just because the guy pays for dinner, you're not you don't owe him continuity of like anything. You don't owe him another date, you don't
02:52:42
Brian Atlaslike, it's fine to go on a date with somebody and it's not a good match. >> Yeah, >> that that's fine. I mean, I would I think it's actually the polite thing to do. >> You know, you go on the date within the first 5 minutes, you're not really feeling it.
02:52:54
Brian Atlas>> Um I mean, unless he's being really weird or whatever, I think it's okay to just have a pleasant >> stay there and have a pleasant convo. Um, >> and we always did. Like I feel like I'm a very personable person. >> Really quick, just to I guess finish off
02:53:06
Brian Atlason the chivalry conversation. I just think if we expect men to act like gentlemen, I think we should also encourage women to embody the qualities >> uh that that inspire that behavior in
02:53:19
Brian Atlasthe first place. >> So it's like >> I don't know. I don't think there look I just think there's a certain threshold of like women who don't who don't deserve it. Now, there's there's a few
02:53:31
Brian Atlascaveats here. >> They don't deserve it, but even a lot of trumpets. So, that's the polite term, I guess. >> They still are going to get the treatment. Like, a lot of there's a lot of guys who are simps who are still
02:53:44
Alex Steingoing to, okay, she's a former prostitute, >> whatever. She's she's uh >> Well, some guys like that, too, cuz they want to fix her. Some guys like her. >> Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Some people like that. I'm sure you have to deal with this. Some people probably
02:53:57
Alex Steinlike that you're like a porn star and they probably want to like make you not do it anymore. Have you met a lot of those guys? >> No. >> Like try Captain Rescue Savo or Captain Savo? >> Captain Savo. >> Yeah. You've dealt with Captain Savo. >> Captain Savo all day. >> See, look, you're smiling cuz you know
02:54:11
Marley Jay / Ameliawhat the Captain Savo is? >> Captain Savo. >> I have a cuz you've said a lot about like how should modern moder. >> You keep going. >> You've said how to like how should modern women be dating? And I feel like, you know, I'm a modern woman who has
02:54:24
Marley Jay / Ameliabeen kind of out of the dating field for, you know, a bit. I make quite a bit of money and I do want to find a partner that I can submit to, but I also, you
02:54:33
Marley Jay / Ameliaknow, when I make, you know, five times a man's yearly salary in a month, like, what can I do to still be a feminine woman and get the treatment I want from a man, but not be using a man? Because I
02:54:46
Marley Jay / Ameliahave no problem paying for dates. I have no especially when it comes to I live a certain lifestyle and I want to keep living that lifestyle and if a man can't provide that, I want him to live in that lifestyle for me, but how do I find a
02:54:57
Brian Atlasman who's not going to feel threatened by that and not be masculine with me because of that? >> This this idea that men like if you out earn a man like he's going to be
02:55:07
Brian Atlasintimidated by that. I don't think that the men aren't intimidated I >> well I don't think men are intimidated period by women. Uh, I don't even think they have like an objection or quarrel
02:55:19
Brian Atlaswith a woman who makes money. I think it's the other characteristic characteristics and attributes that tend to come along with a highly successful boss babe career woman. Uh, one, she's probably more feminist, probably more
02:55:32
Brian Atlasliberal, probably has prioritizes career over some other things. But specifically with you, you're you're a sex worker. Uh, I mean, like I think it's good that you're going to or at least you say you
02:55:44
Brian Atlaswant to do the like you want to be more traditionally feminine and like submissive and all that sort of things, >> but it's kind of like >> it's kind of like there's just a missing
02:55:56
Brian Atlaspiece there. Yeah. >> And the missing piece is you've in terms of like an overall assessment of you as like falling into being a more traditional woman. You can't even enter into that category because you're a sex worker.
02:56:09
Brian Atlas>> I have one question. When you call me a sex worker, cuz I have no problem being a sex worker, but when you look at >> I've seen your Instagram. >> Yeah. Yeah. No. No. But >> [ __ ] titties out all doing all this [ __ ] They're out right now.
02:56:20
Brian Atlas>> 100%. I can't really hide them. 90% of them are okay. >> Wait, can I ask you a question? because my audience is a bit more conservative. Are you like pandering right now? >> No. No. No. Likeandering. Not not at all. No. I mean, like I said, my last
02:56:32
Marley Jay / Ameliaboyfriend was a very conservative person and I do have very much more conservative views. >> Call that into question a little bit. >> That's totally fine. But when you call me, but when you say like sex worker,
02:56:44
Marley Jay / Ameliaum, like say somebody catch all. >> No, for sure. But when someone's like in a movie and they're a movie star and they do sex scenes, does that make them a sex worker? Okay. Now to that I only
02:56:55
Marley Jay / Ameliawork with myself. I only do topless content. So like someone who's in a movie will be topless and they're showing just as much as I am. Um and I'm not interacting with other people. So I have heard at least from men that
02:57:07
Brian Atlasthey're more okay with what I do because I'm not having sex. I'm not fully >> That does make it less bad. >> Yeah. So I mean I would I would say that there's levels to sex work. So like
02:57:19
Brian Atlasyou're a sex worker but there you know like well you're taking tasteful lingerie photos and then that extends
02:57:28
Brian Atlasall the way to like a prostitute who does like gang bangs and like >> illegal illicit
02:57:37
Brian Atlas>> acts with that are like really kind of disgusting. Um, >> there's levels to that [ __ ] >> you know, but at the end of the day, you're on only fans,
02:57:48
Brian Atlas>> you're probably doing I mean, >> guys, not too sure. Not too sure. Yeah. You're like >> you message the dudes. You I mean, let's be honest, you have a typer.