2 RAGE QUITS?! Andrew Wilson! MANSPLAINING?! Social Justice Girl HEATED DEBATE! | Dating Talk #173
Date: 2024-06-26
Duration: 7h 43m
Guests
Brian AtlasIdentified Speakers
SPEAKER_01TTS(audience)
SPEAKER_02Maddie(audience)
SPEAKER_03Nick(audience)
SPEAKER_04Mia Huffman(guest)
SPEAKER_05Izzy / Avery(guest)
SPEAKER_06Sheena Ray(guest)
SPEAKER_07Andrew Wilson(guest)
SPEAKER_08Anna Bochenko(guest)
SPEAKER_09Brian Atlas(host)
SPEAKER_11Michaela(guest)
SPEAKER_13Lizette(guest)
SPEAKER_14Shai(guest)
Key Moments
00:04:06
QuoteIzzy (Coco) recognized as original Whatever Podcast episode 1 guest (two-year anniversary).
“she's an OG Coco here was on our first ever uh whatever episode”
00:21:03
IntroAndrew Wilson introduces himself as host of The Crucible.
“my name is Andrew Wilson I'm the host of The Crucible it's the fastest growing debate channel on the internet”
00:46:09
QuoteShai reveals she has a roster of 30 men and rotates 4-5 per week.
“my roster is about 30 men... I rotate between four to 5 a week”
02:03:00
ControversyBrian threatens to kick Shai off show after she admits she wasn't listening to the AI girlfriends question.
“if we have to repat one more question to you and you're not listening I'm just going to kick you off the show”
02:22:27
ControversyShai and Imogen (both AU OnlyFans) walk off set at ~2:22-2:27.
“they just walked off the set without any justification or for any reason whatsoever”
02:25:36
Key MomentBrian publicly reprimands Andrew Wilson for repeatedly raising sexual abuse topic after being told not to before show.
“I'm getting upset because I've told you multiple times avoid it”
03:38:36
Key MomentLizette walks back mansplaining accusation on camera after Brian's questioning exposes she cannot cite a specific incident.
“honestly no I can't... I want to take that back... it wasn't necessarily the mansplaining”
04:44:06
ControversyMichaela states promiscuous women/OnlyFans creators will struggle to find true love — directed at Mia.
“99% of these girls will never find happiness in life... promiscuous women will never find true love”
04:51:00
QuoteMia reveals she filmed boy-girl OnlyFans content with prior 3-year partner who she expected to marry, and started OnlyFans to support her separated parents.
“I filmed boy girl for a short period of time with my partner of a long term we expected marriage”
05:30:00
QuoteBrian explains why women overestimate their looks: sexual access to attractive men skews self-perception vs. actual relationship market value.
“the difference is is like women will get some degree of attention from men who are more attractive than you... you get rejected on the back end”
05:53:26
Key MomentAndrew logically demonstrates a guest cannot simultaneously self-rate 9, rate neighbor 9, and claim she would not lie about looks out of kindness.
“there's no possible way that you can rate yourself the prettiest girl at the table and then rate the girl next to you as pretty as you are”
Topics Discussed
00:00:00
Guest Introductions
Guests introduce name, age, location, occupation. Brian gives show announcements.
00:21:03
Relationship Status Round
Guests share current relationship status, longest relationship, recent dating activity.
00:34:36
Dating Apps / Serial Dating
Discussion on dating app culture, free meal dynamics, and transactional dating.
00:47:06
AI Girlfriends / Sex Robots
Discussion on AI girlfriends and sex robots — whether women feel threatened, societal implications.
01:23:00
Marriage Debate
Extended debate: should men get married? Andrew, Brian, and guests argue pros/cons of marriage vs. long-term relationships.
02:22:27
First Rage Quit (AU Girls)
Shai and Imogen walk off show after sexual abuse topic raised by Sheena against Brian's instructions.
02:27:00
Cheating / Forgiveness Debate
Debate on whether infidelity can be forgiven in marriage; different standards for male vs female cheating.
02:41:40
Virginity / Body Count Stories
Multiple guests share experiences with virginity, first relationships, and body count.
03:06:15
Mansplaining / Social Justice Debate
Lizette discusses co-founding Women in Business UCSB. Debate on mansplaining accusation (walked back). Feminism waves.
03:46:40
Equity vs. Equality / Selective Service
Andrew and Lizette debate whether men should get double votes due to draft obligation. Equity vs. equality.
04:16:00
Age Gap Relationships
Guests discuss preferences for older/younger partners. Michaela and Sheena discuss their own age-gap experiences.
04:20:26
What Guests Bring to Relationships
Going around the table: what each woman brings to a relationship.
04:45:00
OnlyFans / Promiscuity Debate
Michaela argues promiscuous women/OF creators rarely find true love. Mia responds with her own OnlyFans story.
05:30:00
Physical Appearance / Ratings
Ratings round: guests rate themselves and each other. Andrew analyzes honesty/deception in female self-ratings.
05:30:00
Women's Self-Overestimation
Brian explains why women overestimate their physical attractiveness due to asymmetric sexual access to attractive men.
06:13:40
Type / Partner Preferences
Each guest and Brian shares physical and personality preferences in a partner.
07:17:21
Penis Size Debate
Guests guess average penis size; show measures against average.
Transcript
Page 3 of 9
01:52:38
Sheena Rayright people not going to marriage because oh my God I'm in love I can't live without him I love him I would do I would die for my man because this is how it's supposed to be if you if you love your man women physically builds
01:52:50
Sheena Raydifferent than a man physically I know it's hard to women to hear but men build to be with more than one women and women build to be with one men even literally
01:53:00
Sheena Raywith our DNA when we take every man in us he stays with us forever and men when they have sex they get it out of their system right so they can spread it to a lot of men to a lot of women sorry so
01:53:12
Sheena Rayphysically it's completely different so when you marry today and you treat your man like he always do something and you don't do your duty as a woman like give him love pre protect him respect him
01:53:23
Sheena Rayraise the kids want to give the best to your kids that you have with him treat him like your king because literally when you get into a serious relationship and you really want to live with this man for the rest of your life can you
01:53:35
Sheena Rayland the plane land the plane please sorry what does that mean 10 seconds 10 20 seconds sorry sorry sorry so do you want me to stop no you finish your point okay so my point is if you're not
01:53:46
Sheena Raymarrying someone so he could be your king and you would be his Queen and you build something together for the rest of your life there's no point getting married and with all the women we see today the doing only fans and doing whatever they want uh so they don't
01:53:59
Sheena Rayreally care about the relationship the relationship it's last so why would the men get married they have so many options not to get married and they're afraid and I can understand
01:54:09
Sheena Raythat okay no I can I can totally understand if I was a man to be honest I would not get married because okay you can eat the cake and you want me to go go ahead yeah
01:54:20
Anna BochenkoI'm going to try to give you like a three reasons why you should be married okay so the first one if we look at the financial right so how much money you were spending on going out and
01:54:32
Andrew Wilsoneverything else um according by the way can I can I just real quick can I address these Point by Point as you bring them up because I think I know all three of the points but can I just go can we go one point absolutely absolutely okay so let's start with the
01:54:44
Anna Bochenkofirst one the financials yeah so uh man when he is dating he's spending lots of lots of money and he is actually the time and resources is chasing women uh and so on no it's for first point hold
01:54:55
Anna Bochenkoon now when you're committed to one woman a time that's one point that's the first one I didn't finish yet hold on okay okay no problem when when men is committed to one woman all of the resources are staying in the family in
01:55:07
Anna Bochenkothat relationship ton of time is being saved which a man can invest into uh working or you know and so on so this is the first point so we'll look at the
01:55:17
Anna Bochenkofinancial you want to address let's go on average how much more are married men making than single men uh statistically married men are making between 30 to 40%
01:55:30
Andrew Wilsonmore than single men I don't think it's quite that high but but even hang on let's assume for a second that it is their expenses are also 30 to 40% higher when they're
01:55:41
Andrew Wilsonmarried with Children so the thing is is that it's a really strange argument to say that wait if you're married you're going to make more money because if you're single you're going to you're not
01:55:51
Andrew Wilsongoing to need to as much money right is that hang on hang on so so let me finish let me finish so if your earning potential suddenly Rises to meet the demand of the family because now you must make that much money I'm not really
01:56:04
Andrew Wilsonsure that that's a compelling argument for a single man who says but absent a family I don't need to make that kind of money so like I I it seems like a wash to me well my point was not about men
01:56:15
Anna Bochenkomaking more money my point was about men actually saving uh lots of time on chasing women trying to find the partner and uh spending money on the dates or
01:56:26
Andrew Wilsontaking them traveling wa wait wait hang on that makes no sense so so because Brian's saying why should I get married you're saying well one of the reasons is because financially you can then Focus
01:56:37
Andrew Wilsonthe the vast majority of your money on your family oh well that's great and you'll even make a little more money well that's great too but the problem you run into is but if I have no family I don't need to make as much money so
01:56:49
Anna Bochenkowho cares right that that seems like a pretty GL laring problem right now second point right kind of connected to that so again statistically it had been
01:56:58
Anna Bochenkoproven that men who are married and who have kids they are more motivated to uh make more money and it's just wakes up
01:57:08
Anna Bochenkoman in him that he is able to step up he is able to uh reach his fullest potential as a man depends which woman you have hang on before you characterize
01:57:19
Andrew Wilsonit as meeting their full potential right perhaps there are full potentials to be a poet or perhaps there are full potentials to do something that doesn't earn a lot of money and that is
01:57:30
Andrew Wilsonunlocking their full potential right why should we assume that just because well they make more money uh because they need to or they their family their kid their kids will starve if they don't work an additional 20 hours per week
01:57:43
Anna Bochenkoright why should we assume that that's unlocking their full potential exactly well we are talking about uh bringing the points for Brian right so my my Bri I'm saying for Bri why should we assume
01:57:54
Andrew Wilsonthat because now Brian has to work more hours a week thus he does make more money but he has to make that money so he can raise the family I don't understand how that's unlocking Brian's potential I'm not saying that he's going to be working 20 more hours per week or
01:58:07
Andrew Wilsonwhatever it will just activate the resources in his life through hold on wait wait what do you mean activate the re where do you think these resources in his life are going to come from are they going to Magic
01:58:19
Andrew Wilsonthemselves out of thin air or is he going to have to work for them of course he has to work for them wait okay so then if he's making more resources my assumption is going to be that he's doing more work right exactly
01:58:31
Brian Atlasnot necessary yeah but hold on so okay I think necessary I think it follows pretty well right yeah but so hold on more work more resources again but I'm I'm still a little bit confused here because you says you said well if you have a wife and
01:58:43
Brian Atlaschildren what if I have a monogamous long-term girlfriend and children What's the diff I I but but you say it'll motivate but I could have this that that same
01:58:54
Anna Bochenkomotivation from a girlfriend and I could have kids out with her out of wedlock you can't so uh I was going to bring up my third point no no no but explain why I can't you want me to explain why you
01:59:06
Brian Atlascan't well okay I can certainly have children without being married you agree with that okay so I would argue that that's probably the bigger you know having children is the bigger motivator
01:59:16
Brian Atlasthan just simply being married okay so I can have children out of wedlock and then I can have long-term girlfriend so what is the difference between being married and having children and being in
01:59:28
Brian Atlasa long-term relationship and monogamous and having children what's the what is the differentiation there I didn't get to my third Point yet and when it comes to motivation though I'm I'm sticking on to your second point
01:59:41
Anna Bochenkowhen it comes to the motivation component is your third Point going to address the differential and motivation it is going to address the connection with uh with the when you are in
01:59:54
Anna Bochenkomarriage and relationship it's going to address the intimacy and connection where your partner is actually going to be backing you no matter what and your partner is going to be by your side and
02:00:04
Anna Bochenkoyou will be growing together and it is the connection that is important uh that typically when you are in uh just a relationship uh and you went with
02:00:16
Anna Bochenkodivorce rate divorce rate happens when you choose poorly yes and it is high divorce I don't think oh so it's the man's fault okay I'm not saying it's man's fault I'm
02:00:26
Anna Bochenkonot saying did you hear did no you said when the man chooses poor I said when uh when person uh chooses poorly so women they can make Po Choice as well yeah
02:00:36
Anna Bochenkothey can but women overly initiate divorce exactly um I don't know statistics on that it's like 70 to 80% of can I divorces are you see when you
02:00:47
Anna Bochenkochoose the woman who actually has the values and right values for the family that's when you end up in a percentage of secure relationship if I and without
02:00:59
Mia Huffmana divorce I think in addition to what you were saying regarding like passion and kind of emphasizing the relationship through marriage regardless that's still applicable in any term of relationship
02:01:10
Mia Huffmanwhether it be long-term without marriage and that of in marriage so I can still have the same passion per se in a relationship with Brian where I'm connecting to him and I'm giving him all of my support in that constantly
02:01:23
Mia Huffmanregardless of being what a ring regardless of having a ceremony I can still actively do that that's completely just up to my Integrity into the passion that I have for that one person so that's not to say that that's incapable and impossible for somebody that's in a
02:01:36
Mia Huffmanlong-term or short-term committed relationship that's still applicable what you guys are emphasizing is just somebody's choosing to give that emphasis in passion that is applicable so that isn't a valid point somebody
02:01:48
Mia Huffmanjust being married doesn't mean that they're always going to give passion and care have the Charisma to actually to emphasize their whatever it's an insurance to have they then they're in
02:01:58
Brian Atlasthe wrong they should cuz they committed to it so yeah that's fair so wait hold on I know you wanted to come in but I want her to finish Point number three and then Andrew wanted to come in so go ahead well my point number three was
02:02:10
Anna Bochenkoactually about that uh true connection that people have and uh being able to reach to those uh to the deepest level of intimacy which is uh when people are holding themselves back which actually
02:02:22
Anna Bochenkoaddresses what you just shared uh when people not willing to make a full commitment it's like they're restricting their uh uh they're putting uh walls so for the woman to fully commit I when man
02:02:34
Anna Bochenkois not committing fully he is almost like helping her to activate uh their insecurities of some sort of insecurities in her when woman knows
02:02:45
Andrew Wilsonthat man is 100% committed that gives her peace yeah I think that should happen prior so I want to give you kind of the counterargument to this is that that's a
02:02:57
Andrew Wilsonvery gynocentric view right oh well if you marry her then it'll activate your resources well hang on hang on hang on let me finish if you Pi the right the vales hang on hang on I just let you put
02:03:09
Andrew Wilsonyour whole point out let me let me put mine out and you can counter it okay it activates his resources resource level activated right the button is pushed and
02:03:20
Andrew Wilsonnow the resources he's going to be making that money for her taking care of her how kind of her to allow him to activate those resources for her and then when we move to your third Point
02:03:31
Andrew Wilsonhere it's if you give her the commitment she won't be so insecure well how great and swell for her that she won't be as insecure if you commit to her and can
02:03:41
Andrew Wilsonthen have your entire life wrecked destroyed and become fleed because of these because of these overwhelming percentages of women doing that to you you choose all of this all of this seems
02:03:53
Anna Bochenkohighly gynocentric and it it's putting basically all the responsibility on the men as far as I can see I no Andrew uh I have high respect for you uh but again I
02:04:05
Anna Bochenkowant to talk I I was talking about when men chooses high value woman woman is the one who actually creates the
02:04:14
Anna Bochenkorelationship she has to be uh the love and care and joy and support she has to be 100% committed everything starts with a woman first of all so high value woman
02:04:26
Anna Bochenkoshe will be backing her man no matter what no matter that troubles he is going through no matter the financial uh challenges no matter uh his habits or
02:04:35
Anna Bochenkowhatever she is by his side she is becoming that fuel of that of the relationship woman is capable of either
02:04:45
Anna Bochenkoeither Inspire her man and motivate her man for the all kinds of things that he didn't even know possible and we go for everything uh they Financial they're
02:04:56
Andrew Wilsonsexual they're emotional and everything starts with the woman that seems like really basic stuff though like you you're kind of the way that you're framing it you're almost framing this as like this is a really special thing that
02:05:08
Andrew Wilsona man gets that they have a basic level of loyalty from a woman and she's not being a backstabbing right like that just seems like it's hang on that just seems like a really basic thing that they should be doing anyway and not
02:05:20
Anna Bochenkolike it's extra it's not it doesn't feel like it's an extra thing that you should be getting on you know but if it is so basic why women are not doing it that's where I mean the results what is going
02:05:30
Anna Bochenkoon right why the guys are feeling deprived of their love attention uh gratitude appreciation so if it is so
02:05:39
Andrew Wilsonbasic then why women don't do it we have the uh pandemic of men who feel I think it's because they listen to women too often I think that that's one of the primary reasons that they listen
02:05:51
Andrew Wilsonto terrible advice from women all the time they think here's the thing here's what I've learned from a from doing this this podcast so much here's what I've
02:06:01
Andrew Wilsonlearned right it's not just that um that women have really stupid takes a lot of the time but it's also that women give each other some of the worst
02:06:12
Andrew Wilsonadvice I've ever heard and they but they really give men bad advice exact horrible advice about what it is that actually want I mean
02:06:22
Andrew Wilsonterrible advice right so what I what every time I hear about one of these the next woman who's like look the last guy I was with was a narcissistic jerk and
02:06:33
Andrew Wilsonhe was an awful junkie and he was emotionally abusive and we go really well how long were you with him and they're like 6 years well okay what about your last relationship oh he was great how long did that last two months
02:06:46
Andrew Wilsonright and I think to myself okay there's some disconnect that's going on here because the thing that you hang on I'm almost done the thing you claim you hate seems to be the thing that you go for
02:06:58
Andrew Wilsonthe most and then you kind of pretend that's not what you want and it's super weird to me I don't understand it and then when I hear your advice your advice is like gynocentrism gynocentrism gynocentrism tell me this specifically
02:07:11
Andrew Wilsonwhat the is a man getting here besides just basic human decency from a woman under your program like what does he actually get so uh Andrew what you are describing you are describing in low
02:07:22
Anna Bochenkovalue woman uh first of all it is that it is not high quality uh the low quality woman will go to her girlfriends and will speak badly about her man and
02:07:32
Anna Bochenkoshe will get the uh understanding of her girlfriends yes the high value woman she will not be speaking badly about heran she will first of all she will not judge
02:07:43
Anna Bochenkohim for the uh for his action she will look in the root can I where it is actually coming from his behavior his I know but that sounds like it sounds like that's the basic expectation men should
02:07:55
Andrew Wilsonhave in a relationship it's a very basic I'm asking above above this idea of a basic expectation that I would get from a friend so I would expect a friend of mine to also not be a backbiting
02:08:08
Andrew Wilsonconniving piece of and to get my back in the very situations I find myself in even if he didn't hang on hang on even if he didn't agree with me so what am I getting above that of what I would get from just a basic friend from
02:08:21
Anna Bochenkothis guy Centric program of yours give me the thing that I get you get complete 100% emotional connection uh you get uh
02:08:31
Andrew Wilsonsupport the person who actually hears you hears your needs and they 100% wanted deep emotional connection with a woman right that's what I always want I wish Santa Claus would bring it to me my
02:08:43
Andrew Wilsonwhole life a deep emotional connection with a woman that sounds awful it sounds awful the thing is is like you know you know what you know what I think you know what I've noticed most men want they want a really shallow emotional
02:08:56
Anna Bochenkoconnection with women they don't want a deep emotional connection that's the society what creates men and women right now everybody yes they're shallow that's where AI comes in and that's where AI is
02:09:08
Sheena Raygoing to destroy the humanity go ahead okay I want to first of all I want to say that it's not just men are like this or just women are like this we are all human beings and we're all doing things
02:09:18
Sheena Raywrong second thing if I first of if I were a man I would not get married since I know women so well and unfortunately I do have amazing girlfriends that I love
02:09:28
Sheena Raythat I know that they're amazing but the majority of women out there are damaged from from social media from growing up from whatever it is right but like Andrew like Andrew said if a man wants
02:09:41
Sheena Rayto get married today what's the point you understand what for having kids he can have a a donor if he wants somebody to clean his house or cook for him he can pay for that nowadays and today
02:09:52
Sheena Rayunfortunately most of the woman looking just for a provider without giving the you know the work and the effort for the men but if a man lucky enough to meet a good woman like for example this woman
02:10:04
Sheena Raythat she's look like she's loyal to her husband thank okay if men lucky enough to meet the right woman that would be there for him okay I would go to that extreme even if he cheats or even if she know I'm not talking about a guy to go
02:10:17
Sheena Rayevery day with a different woman but even if he travel and he had something with another woman she would be strong and smart enough not even to mention that right because men and women built completely different than one another
02:10:29
Sheena Rayand to have a relationship within the marriage woman unfortunately we are born to have a certain amount of time to have kids to ra the kids and and to grow up gracefully and now the women don't want
02:10:41
Sheena Raythat they want to extend it for a long term to do whatever the hell they want they want to abuse men after they have babies and emotionally confused with the hormones and everything a lot of the treatment like sorry to say but like
02:10:53
Sheena Rayand a lot of the women that I know I know like five clients at least for the last two months they're telling me how they cheating them men very very creatively and when I'm looking and hearing these stories I'm saying what's
02:11:06
Sheena Raythe wonder that a lot of men don't want to get committed and what's the wonder that a men go on a date and prejudge a woman when you have so many women like that that that's the only thing they care can I bring up the point made up in
02:11:17
Lizettethe comment recently I think you might have um and her point in the comment was basically I think she said she was from
02:11:25
Brian Atlasuraguay um or it's below the threshold like argen she just made a good we're not going to I mean we just for the sake of the other people who donate above the threshold okay no so
02:11:37
Lizettethen I'll I'll talk about something in Argentina's like it has to be USD so so in Costa Rica for example I traveled to Costa Rica I stay with the host family in Costa Rica and I remember her telling
02:11:49
Lizetteme that there like like 10% of the people that are together with kids are actually married it's the expectancy that you stay with your person they
02:12:00
Lizettedon't need this contract in order to then go above and beyond like you're kind of mentioning it's uh where you know you find your person you're always with it your person you raise kids with
02:12:13
Anna Bochenkothis person and you don't need a legal binding contract in order to confess your love or prove your love to a person so and like a I'm sorry I forgot your name she Sheena said you know the good
02:12:24
Sheena Raywoman uh she would be okay with the man cheating on her would you be okay on not cheating no that you didn't get what I'm saying I'm not saying if I have a man that every day he go out and sleep with
02:12:34
Sheena Raywomen but if my husband is loyal to me loyalty not always based on sexual activity if he he did something and I don't know about it I don't want to know about it sometime cheating actually helped the marriage but that's where
02:12:46
Sheena Raythere that means that you don't have the true Intimacy in a in a relationship that's not true because men bu different M men build to sleep with multiple women women buil to be with one man one man
02:12:58
Sheena Raynecessary wait are I'm sorry are you saying that you want your man to cheat on you no I don't want my men to cheat on me but I'm saying sometimes a man can be with a woman that she's trash and come back home and appreciate what he's
02:13:09
Andrew Wilsongot at home you understand when a woman cheat she sheat hang Just Women cheat because explore the con okay listen listen hang on because you have kind of a habit of going on some some kind of
02:13:20
Andrew Wilsonlong-winded diet tribe so I I want to kind of nail some of this down okay so when you're when you're talking about uh a situation a specific situation where like a man can step out and realize he
02:13:32
Andrew Wilsonhad something better at home I okay I agree like for the sake of argument it it logically makes sense to me that that could happen in some cases right yeah but it also makes sense to me that that's doing something horrible
02:13:44
Sheena Rayto your you would agree with that right yes yeah so I mean you would recommend men don't do that correct I of course I recommend not to do it but I've seen like for example men in Dubai or bedan
02:13:56
Sheena Rayin the Middle East that they have one woman or two women and it's completely different when you hear in this in this life that you live in America that everything is either black or white it's a lot of type of marriages it's a lot of
02:14:08
Sheena Raytype of relationships it's not one model and that's it we go just by that but I'm saying in general when a man cheat it's not like a woman cheat if a woman cheat she literally doesn't love her spouse if a man cheat he can have sex with the
02:14:21
Andrew Wilsonwoman and forget about it the next day and go back to the woman he love do you know the why man cheats yeah I mean so so I I can I think I can see what you're saying here from a logical standpoint so I do think that they have different
02:14:33
Andrew Wilsonnatures and that what you're saying here makes some sense that uh that men don't have the same emotional attachment that women do and so women are stepping out they're kind of showing the ultimate sign of I don't care about you whereas
02:14:45
Andrew Wilsonfor a man it could be purely physical yeah right I exactly exactly like you said yeah yeah I get that but then then wouldn't that kind of move towards a model of a one-size fits-all marriage of
02:14:56
Andrew Wilsona it should be one man one woman there should be some type of I don't know behavioral modifications which happen so that this does work listen in America in
02:15:07
Sheena RayAmerica in in most of the uh open countries I mean free countries yes but I've seen models in the Middle East okay I know women that married to a guy that have two and three women and they live perfectly fine they don't have a problem
02:15:20
Anna Bochenkowith that one of them taking care of the children one of them having uh sex in this night one because they don't have another Choice it's not it's not true because there is not true there is no way to find another guy so they just
02:15:31
Andrew Wilsonsettle for accepting the circumstance I thought like that too but it's not true I literally that well that that argument makes no sense because if multiple women were attached to one guy then wouldn't that create a surplus of of women for
02:15:43
Andrew Wilsonthe other men no they have mean I'm sorry a surplus of men for The Other Women it would create a surplus of men for the other women so I I don't understand how understand sorry explain to me because I really didn't understand what you meant
02:15:56
Andrew Wilsonwell she was saying she was saying well look um it's because they have no other choice right they're limited by option yeah but that can't really be true that they're limited by option because if
02:16:07
Andrew Wilsonmultiple women are are with one guy right then wouldn't that create a surplus of men for the remaining women to choose from that's that that's I don't I don't understand I was talking
02:16:18
Anna Bochenkoabout uh the mentality in former Soviet Union uh within you know Slavic republics and so on uh the numbers did
02:16:29
Anna Bochenkonot match up starting from the World War II there is more women in some areas than men to begin with yes uh so like in some parts of Ukraine there is like
02:16:39
Anna Bochenkothree four guys to uh three four women to one guy also in Israel okay so it start same same thing right okay so it starts that there is not enough males to
02:16:49
Anna Bochenkobegin with and so men they have their uh their their pick yes so women have no choice but to stick to the guy who is married to them no matter what he is doing
02:17:03
Andrew Wilsonbecause they just know theiron let me let me try this let me try this a different way make it super easy you're on a desert island and there's 10 women and there's 10 men okay and five of the
02:17:12
Andrew Wilsonwomen pair off with one of the men okay leaving nine men and five women which group has more options with the other group
02:17:22
Andrew Wilsonmen men obviously wait what who said what who said men who said men would have more options with the other who said that me I'll own it I don't
02:17:33
Anna Bochenkoeverybody has equal uh options if they if they choose right for themselves and pair up together but you saying there's 10 women and 10 men let's try this again
02:17:43
Andrew Wilsonlet's try this again there's 10 men and there's 10 women and five of the women pair off with one man leaving nine men and five women which group has more
02:17:55
Andrew Wilsonoptions to choose from than the other group of course the women yes the women yes the women so that's why I didn't understand your argument it made no sense I was like what are you what are you talking about that makes no sense
02:18:06
Sheena Rayalso also uh uh Andrew if you put one man on an island with a few women right with one man we can we can literally
02:18:16
Sheena Raycreate a village with with with 10 men we can if you put one woman right if you put one woman it's completely different women build different women can have children men can in how do you say
02:18:27
Sheena Raypregnate yeah pregnant so many women men come to actually release their sorry their sperm sorry to say that on life put their sperm everywhere you're giving
02:18:39
Andrew Wilsona lot of emphasis to this releasing of the sperm thing lot of body on the whole releasing like that physically listen they're really releasing it right like
02:18:50
Sheena Raylike like they're setting it free they're setting it free swen at the same time because because men because I'll explain because men men when when men have sex you forget about it when women
02:19:03
Anna Bochenkohave sex they get attached to more it's different everything completely different for a woman and for a man and women don't get that that's what I mean Andrew what is your opinion about monogamous relationship should it be one
02:19:15
Andrew Wilsonwoman one man or should man be yeah it should and the re the reason it should and that should be something which is not only normalized and pushed is not just from the perspective of Christian ethics but from a perspective of
02:19:26
Andrew Wilsonstabilization of society Society has never done better ever ever than no Societies in fact do better than societies which have monogamous populations because what it does is it
02:19:38
Andrew Wilsonguarantees the underclass of men who traditionally have never been able to send their seed free right they've never been able to set their seed free let it
02:19:48
Andrew Wilsonlet it go right never been able to do that traditionally uh in monogamous societies they can and so the what you would consider the underclass tends to stay a lot more happy and uh you end up
02:20:00
Andrew Wilsonwith a lot more genetic diversity which I think ultimately is pretty good for the gene pool we don't want to be too interrelated that ends up leading to all sorts of different problems right no I Andrew I agree with you completely but I've seen you know I grew up in a
02:20:13
Sheena Raycountry when you have Muslims Christians and Jews and you see the Muslims live in a certain way the Christian live in a certain way and the Jewish live in a certain way and I've seen in all three
02:20:23
Sheena Raythat they have some of them have happy family happy marriage and it's not my point of view like in My Religion you're not allowed to marry with two three women right but I've seen people who
02:20:35
Sheena Raylive like that and they're okay so you know everybody and and their culture I'm not
02:20:46
Lizettejudging yeah sorry I honestly feel like we maybe are and not that I'm on the no marriage but I also am on the I don't necessarily think that it's
02:20:57
Lizettenecessary um I don't think we did a great job of giving him reasons as to why he should um the thing that I wanted to mention Brian sorry I know you're um
02:21:09
Lizettebut that you just don't necessarily want to go into it with that mindset the no I'm like absolutely against marriage I feel like it's like it would kind of I
02:21:19
Lizetteagree with you turn off um some people it you should go into it with a yeah um a open openness about it um and again if
02:21:30
Lizetteyou find I think you hopefully will find someone who changes your mind on that but yeah I hope you're not closed off to the idea of you finding someone who you're just like this person I want for the rest of my life but then again again
02:21:43
Anna Bochenkoto my point I don't think you necessarily need a contract our society creates so many people who are uh have avoidant intimacy so like uh in your
02:21:55
Anna Bochenkocase like you you said that you were dating someone with a um long-term relationship for year so but and you said that that was the reason why you
02:22:05
Anna Bochenkoguys fell apart what no no no it was uh it was just the distance distance yeah how the distance created the obstacles I mean they were in Europe yeah but did you guys have a connection with each
02:22:18
Lizetteother you said that that was one of your best relationships it was yeah um I I think it was just the the phases that we were going into our lives I was going into college he was going into military
02:22:30
Lizettein Switzerland for about a year and a half so I wouldn't have been able to see him for like over a year and a half so there's multiple factors that played into it besides yeah but if there is
02:22:41
Anna Bochenkotrue connection uh and you as a woman really saw the potential did you see the potential with this man as your husband
02:22:49
Lizetteyour but I was also really young at the time as well so but that person was also in the same boat as me where he was like I don't need a piece of paper to love
02:23:01
Anna Bochenkoyou unconditionally to show you that you're you know Personality yeah so it's avoidant intimacy it's like both of you guys are avoiding that true connection and intimacy when no we what do you mean
02:23:12
Andrew Wilsonwe're we avoiding it we're very much love what does this hang on what does this mean this idea that that keeps popping up of true connection what like can you flush this out cuz he keeps saying this a bunch you're saying that I
02:23:25
Anna Bochenkodidn't have a true connection with this person but I know what type of connection that I had this person are you saying I should have married this person no I'm saying that couples who truly see the potential with each other
02:23:36
Anna Bochenkothey should have a plan how they uh uh how they move forward if there is no plan then you are living up to whatever the universe for and of course there's going to be disaster there's going be
02:23:47
Lizettewhen do you put that plan into place do you put the beginning and that's so much pressure you're you're then going to act like a perfectionist and everything because it's ultimately like okay I I
02:23:59
Lizettewant as a woman if someone if I started dating someone and then a week after they were like all right so what about or so when do you think around the timeline when do you think you'd want to
02:24:09
Anna Bochenkoget married when do you think you'd want to I'd be like bro this is we about being authentic okay first of all you if you want to pursue marriage and
02:24:20
Lizetteauthenticity or I don't think marriage brings out authenticity I know talking hang hang on guys one at a time one at a time okay so let's let her respond real quick uh go ahead green dress sorry I'm terrible with names but it's easier for
02:24:33
Andrew Wilsonme to identify You by by what you're wearing so anyway yeah so go ahead and respond do we go green green or green green green dress green
02:24:44
Andrew Wilsonshirt oh sorry I think it is I think we lost him I don't know what is no I'm I'm still here I'm still here so yeah so I was just saying just one at a time so that so that we can get to the heart of
02:24:56
Sheena Rayit so if you wanted to start green dress with your point so that she can respond I think that regarding Andrew a lot of if you grow up in a family when they have family values and you see a parents marriage and they have a great marriage
02:25:09
Sheena Rayand they're faithful to one another and they have good marriage that's what you grow up to do but if you grew up in a home when the either mother cheating or the father cheated and this is what they
02:25:20
Sheena Raysee this is what you grew up to be or if you're are young man that been cheated in your in your early 20s and women treated you like and uh used you
02:25:30
Sheena Rayand dismissed you of course you're going to grow up to be scared from women and no one to be no don't want to get married and be in a relationship so it's all really depends how you grow up
02:25:40
Anna Bochenkoaren't we adults and aren't we supposed to be responsible for our own choices what we want to be I mean regardless of you ask a question let me answer I tell
02:25:52
Sheena Rayyou why not because a lot of the people okay they not even getting mature until they're 50 or 60 because they carry trauma a lot of people like this girl that were sitting here she talked about
02:26:03
Sheena Rayher sexual abuse in her in in her being 19 she still carry that trauma and activate her life from that trauma so a man that being hurt when he was young or
02:26:14
Anna Bochenkoso his parent get divorced or whatever it is they carry and activate their life and go through their life from that trauma if you understand that there is trauma that needs to be addressed and
02:26:26
Anna Bochenkothat's what uh it takes to become an adult to address it to work through that and make the choices for yourself who you want to be because if we would be the product of uh what was only
02:26:37
Anna Bochenkohappening in our past and dragging our past with us then that we would not be progressing in anything that's what I want to ask you did you or I just want
02:26:47
Anna Bochenkoto ask you a question did you grow up with with or in a marriage in a married household I was uh uh my father he died
02:26:56
Anna Bochenkowhen I was 1 years old um I do know what it is to be that uh word that we're not supposed to uh discuss I do know that in
02:27:06
Anna Bochenkomy personal uh experience but the whole thing is to understand the trauma and to understand how to address it how to in
02:27:18
Anna Bochenkomost of the cases for us as women who had a traumatic past like that it's for us to understand what is happening what is actually the result of our behavior
02:27:28
Anna Bochenkoand how we are able because most of the most of the uh workers sorry sorry sorry sorry go I want to answer I'm sorry go ahead I want to answer her let's move it on let's
02:27:41
Sheena Raymove it on make your final Point make your final point you each have 10 seconds go ahead okay I want to answer you uh 10 seconds each go ahead like I said you keep talking they shouldn't do this they shouldn't do that most people
02:27:52
Sheena Raydon't have a healthy inner conversation they don't even figure out themselves by the time they 50 or 40 or 60 so how they going to come and and treat the other person normally when they didn't figure
02:28:03
Anna Bochenkoout themselves well they can address to the uh therapists or people who actually know that they in that position most people don't know no it's got nothing to
02:28:13
Anna Bochenkodo with age is pretty clear if your personal life if your personal life is not to your standards that it should be a signal that something is wrong right A lot of people listen a lot of people
02:28:25
Sheena Rayhave a really twisted inner conversation like this girl that she looks normal and when when you talk to her she don't look normal what you're talking about you keep going like this and no not
02:28:36
Brian Atlasher bro she's got her her lip is like she's got a second upper lip with all that ass lip filler in it no but she furthermore furthermore both of them I'm sure the viewers have
02:28:47
Brian Atlasalready come to this conclusion they just walked off the set without any justification or for any reason whatsoever now in the messages she's saying that truthfully I mean you can tell by their attitude they just I don't
02:29:00
Brian Atlasknow I don't want to be here but we said we were going to be here so we're here because uh whatever she's saying and this is this is the postt talk justification for why they left because they sent me a DM uh she said wasn't
02:29:12
Brian Atlasreally comfortable after I talked about my essay to defend myself was on the verge of crying don't want to embarrass myself like that even though we moved on from the conversation completely that's
02:29:23
Sheena Rayvalid I saw I feel I felt B for her I'm an empath and what do you mean wait wait wait what do you mean it's valid she brought it up but she's just 19 I don't she through that trauma how are you
02:29:34
Izzy / Averysupposed to know how she feels yeah I know but the thing is is like if you why would you bring it up if it's not something you want to talk about because sometimes when people are put on the spot they say things that they didn't
02:29:45
Anna Bochenkoexpect themselves to say and there's just that pressure on she wanted to let it out and she was just waiting for the opportunity and the moment and you're on a podcast where you talk unfort talk she was in full control of what she could
02:29:58
Mia Huffmansay and not say what she could share and not share we were told initially to experience and share specifically what we are comfortable with sharing so yes although it may have made her uncomfortable and I completely understand I think that we just didn't
02:30:10
Sheena Rayhave a deep emotional connection Andrew Andre exactly wait got it one second Andrew I totally agree with you when you said about the emotional connection but we have to remember she's 19 years old
02:30:22
Andrew Wilsonshe could be our daughter and she's destroyed and damaged from the inside anyway so you know instead she's a voting she's voting not going to infantilize women
02:30:32
Sheena RayI'm sorry instead bashing her like this we could at least give her a lesson in this podcast so she could go home think about she got she got she got a great lesson on how to not be in definely I'm
02:30:45
Andrew Wilsonnot going to infantilize her because of her age instead I'm going to treat her like the adult which he can vote as somebody that abused their body and soul and raped thems over and over again sh
02:30:56
Brian Atlasup we specifically multiple times coming from you we told you before the show avoid these topics you've said it multiple times Sor godamn who gives a she's probably lying anyways you
02:31:08
Brian Atlasthink I don't know okay but I'm getting upset because I've told you multiple times avoid it I'm sorry oh my God and you're just making you're you're like it's constantly at
02:31:19
Anna Bochenkothe same subject God damn bro I'm not going to talk about it I'm sorry let's talk about happy I felt so bad for her honesty in marriage in
02:31:30
Mia Huffmanrelationship we think the mar down it's now conversed onto the Aussie girl and why she left now can we move forward with anybody else's discussions on what they're against or what they're curious about
02:31:44
Mia Huffmanwhich Brian initially asked it was simply what do you have against whatever I've said yeah that's a great idea yeah that popped off one question yeah thank you man sorry it's just frustrating this these two girls walk
02:31:57
Andrew Wilsonoff but you didn't follow the instructions either I just saw you lean out of frame you were told you were told not to lean out of the frame and he leaned out of the frame I'm tiny you
02:32:07
Anna Bochenkoknow he just a girl but only if it's so little that means they shouldn't be here so they went to whatever they they should be and that's good
02:32:20
Brian Atlaswith the Gratitude decep and whatever bro and I'll tell you look we'll move it on I'll tell you precisely why we don't want to say those words bring it up this girl walked off the show for precisely that reason it's not a subject we're
02:32:33
Brian Atlasinclined to talk about that's why we told you very specifically B before the show okay so I apologize cuz people get very
02:32:44
Brian Atlassensitive over it and they honestly I don't I don't believe anything that girl says at all but she was about to cry swear I we had her on the show for8 hours 2 days ago she's the same person
02:32:55
Izzy / Averyshe was literally two days ago I didn't know she was here oh okay that's F what about some of the stuff that we like sent in or yeah we'll we'll get to that sorry I'm just trying
02:33:06
Anna Bochenkoto uh so okay anyways any any disagreements from anybody about what I say we should let go and move forward I absolutely
02:33:16
Anna Bochenkodisagree that there should be forgiving Che of the partner in the marriage I think there should be absolute commitment I mean and I can only speak from my marriage I didn't understand
02:33:28
Anna Bochenkowhat you said well you mentioned that women um the way man operate and it is okay for the woman to accept that he is uh cheating I don't think she should accept no that's not what I said I said
02:33:40
Sheena Raywhen a man cheat it's not like a woman when she's cheating and if your man cheat on you not every day not excessively but if your man cheated on you one time when you had a travel or something you don't break marriage kids
02:33:51
Lizettehistory everything just for him cheating one time I I if you're under I mean if you guys are yeah exclusive and that's the that has always been the thing and
02:34:04
Sheena Rayyou go out on a work trip and you literally can't keep it in your pants or like whatever what does it speak for your relationship but when you say you're 45 and you already lived with a man for 10 20 years and you have kids
02:34:15
Sheena Raywith them and you you break up with them for one cheating you're going to want to get get screwed not him you're the one that you don't have value in the market you already have history you're not going to go out to the market with two three kids alone just because he cheated
02:34:28
Anna Bochenkoon you you'll break your whole life in a relationship there should be 100% commitment to each other and that goes for a body Soul if you get to that point where you're 45 years old and you want to talk about an open marriage then by
02:34:38
Sheena Rayall means I don't believe in open marriage I think it's it's devilish see you don't believe so you think it's moreish than a man going off I'll explain to you Andrew if you give me the
02:34:49
Andrew WilsonI will explain not you no I understand your position right I was so so over to the gal on the left mares I'm I'm really sorry I just can you tell me your name again are you talking to me yes yeah you
02:35:02
Andrew Wilsonyeah you got to speak in the mic or can't WR the mic or I can't the mic oh I'm looking at you uh my name is Oxana okay Oxana yes um
02:35:13
Andrew Wilsonwhy she she makes she makes a valid point right she's asking this question she's saying look let's say that this guy um you know he's he's he's out on
02:35:23
Andrew Wilsonthe road you have a big fight right you're you're in some tooth and Nails kind of uh verbal brawl and um you know he meets some chick at the bar and he sleeps with her and he instantly regrets
02:35:35
Andrew Wilsonit and he tells you you know look I'm sorry I made this mistake he comes clean about it you have children with him things like that you're saying you can't work through that that that's impossible to work through uh for me it would be
02:35:47
Andrew Wilsonfor me personally I know for you but your P you you said prescriptively you disagree that that should ever be the case in a marriage right so you see that was my mentality I mean I would be okay
02:35:57
Anna Bochenkowith that uh 20 something years ago before um I got here and I saw that there is actually a different way of building their
02:36:06
Anna Bochenkorelationship and through my husband he introduced me to uh uh to Jesus Christ So based on their Rel religion of course
02:36:16
Andrew Wilsonand the standards yeah I mean the uh the cheating is just not it's one partner no the church would not recommend that the church would recommend that you stay together with
02:36:27
Anna Bochenkoyour family and did everything you could to work through on the marriage the church would not recommend divorce the church chur Church recommends to stay loyal to your partner on the for both
02:36:39
Andrew Wilsonsides yes yes I understand that is true cheating is immoral from the Christian world view I there's no if an or buts about it hang on hang on hang on I agree that that's completely immoral however
02:36:52
Andrew Wilsonthere's nothing unchristian at all about working through that situation with your spouse if it occurs in fact most churches would recommend you do so for the sake of keeping your family together
02:37:03
Anna Bochenkobut you see that's where we come starting from the root it would not even cross our mind to cheat on each other to begin with because we know that this is
02:37:14
Andrew Wilsonwhat is absolutely uh I'm sorry that's bizarre you're a Christian correct I am and I'm learning more so you believe that the Demonic exists correct of course and do you believe that the Demonic has influence over people at
02:37:28
Andrew Wilsoncertain times that especially when they're vulnerable or when they're going through something that's very hard and they could be influenced do things they would not ordinarily ESP Andrew it it
02:37:36
Anna Bochenkowould be my job as a wife to uh know that my husband needs some kind of support whether it is emotional or
02:37:45
Anna Bochenkophysical or whatever and the true core of the relationship in my mind is for my husband to come to me and open up his soul become vulnerable feeling
02:37:56
Anna Bochenkocomfortable become vulnerable with me to share with me what ain't working for him so we would be able to work on it to fix
02:38:06
Lizetteit Ty of I think that everyone is capable of cheating everyone is capable of cheating it is if you are super
02:38:16
Andrew Wilsoncommitted to your man IM to wait hold on let her finish go
02:38:26
Lizetteahead go ahead um sorry yeah again everyone is capable of cheating I think that if you are going into it with this is the person that I want to spend the
02:38:38
Lizetterest of my life with this is the person that I want to be loyal to then you will never put yourself in a position where there's the potential to cheat I think we are all again capable of doing so you you just have to know what you got to
02:38:51
Andrew Wilsonchoose the environment you have to choose the environment again we're all capable of do this is not to dispute not just that we the dispute is not that you can't mitigate these things the dispute is not that you shouldn't do these
02:39:02
Andrew Wilsonthings that's not the dispute and I think it's not the dispute can you tell hang on can you tell me what the dispute is here actually what are we actually I would not be even considering the alter
02:39:13
Andrew Wilsonnot you not you hang on hang on I was just talking to what are we actually arguing about here so working it out right after a man has cheated on you right right so when we're talking
02:39:24
Andrew Wilsonabout things that you can do so that that never happens that really doesn't have anything to do with the actual dispute here which is can a marriage be worked out after cheating that's what
02:39:35
Lizettethe dispute is okay and then on I just wanted to mention that about the cheating but then to go on that um I think it's definitely just situational
02:39:45
Lizetteif the if for some woman in my case the trust would be completely broken and I don't I don't think I could ever do that I don't think I could ever go back um
02:39:55
Lizettebut I am with no kids with you know so I would understand yeah I would understand if a woman who had kids chose to maybe
02:40:07
Lizettego to marriage counseling see a therapist together um and work it out but again I think it's very situational I think there isn't just a no I would never like you can't you can't just kind
02:40:18
Andrew Wilsonof speak France I know I would never go back to my person if they cheated on me cuz again everything is situational yeah I look I don't think that there's a problem with saying I have a zero tolerance threshold for cheating and
02:40:31
Andrew Wilsonthat's the end of the relationship I think that that's fine in fact I would encourage it even I'm just saying that I would not take this kind of broad brush from a Christian angle and say that if you're in a Christian marriage that
02:40:44
Andrew Wilsonsomething like this can't be worked through because clearly this does happen and people do work through it it can be in a small percentage of cases yeah but there there has to be is
02:40:55
Andrew Wilsonthat if the preference is breaking up the entire family right losing your faith everything in between that can come with the outcome of divorce maybe it could be preferable to try to work these things out first in the small
02:41:06
Anna Bochenkopercentages it is possible to fix but there is Andrew or go ahead go ahead but it takes really a superb woman to uh develop to gain that trust uh Factor
02:41:17
Anna Bochenkotowards her man because that normally creates insecurities in a woman that she will be always questioning like he is going to a gym is he going to see some pretty girls out there he is I mean it
02:41:30
Anna Bochenkois just uh is going to be just killing the woman on the inside it takes very very supper woman to get the trust built inside of her uh to trust her you know
02:41:42
Sheena Rayto trust her man women in general are over emotional from every little thing they make make a big deal it's not like a man that he manage his feelings different you understand women a man can look at a
02:41:55
Sheena Raywoman and she come home with him and'll she give him a sin and freak out over this you it's a woman who is uh yeah Andrew should we on the just going back to the marriage thing I don't know if you you'd be able to Wrangle this should
02:42:08
Brian Atlaswe get James sexon to do a call in right now that could be interest I don't know if I don't know if that could be arranged but like a want me you want me to ask him like a 20 minute call in I don't know yeah I can ask him if you'll call in for it be interesting cuz people in the chat and I got some messages
02:42:21
Brian Atlaspeople were like yo you should have James ston come in on this uh if not yeah I'll give him a text real quick that could be that could be interesting let me read some chats while uh we're doing all that so hold on we have uh
02:42:32
MaddieMaddie I'm gonna have you read chats okay what do you personally bring to a relationship as a woman and in your opinion what responsibility should women typically have in a
02:42:44
Brian Atlasrelationship uh we can only do one we can only do one question per for chat but solo Dino thank you uh so we'll do what do you personally bring to a
02:42:53
Mia Huffmanrelationship emotional openness and humility I like to open myself up I can't hear you oh I I didn't hear what you say oh sorry emotional openness and humility I like to open myself up to the
02:43:05
Izzy / Averypartners that I have um I don't think I'm ready for a relationship so yeah I'm I don't know how I would honestly answer that right now
02:43:17
Brian Atlashonestly uh I wait hold on you said you're not hold on you said you're not ready for a relationship yeah well wait I thought earlier you said you were like looking I'm
02:43:27
Izzy / Averysingle plain simple single wait but yeah M earlier wait I'm pretty sure you said you were like the type of people around you like aren't going for what you're
02:43:38
Anna Bochenkogoing for so that you looking for something special and you couldn't find it because it is either on this side or maybe I can't find it because I'm not ready for it but even I guess like maybe that's a little cont ing sorry if you
02:43:50
Izzy / Averywere in a relationship what would you bring like if you if I was in a relationship I would bring stability just because I'm very much like hold on you bring stability yeah you said that
02:44:00
Izzy / Averyyou can only date men for 2 weeks I if I choose that I've never said date a guy for two weeks fun fact I'm only I never choose to go in with that guy like I'm
02:44:11
Izzy / Averydating him or anything I'm just testing out the waters and if I Vibe with that person then I Vibe with that person and I'll let them know you only you only VI for 2 weeks um it's not as lit like literal as what
02:44:24
Izzy / AveryI'm saying but I feel like it's very much a one andone situation in the places and the scenes that I seem to be in right now um I don't think that I'm ready for something just because I don't
02:44:36
Brian Atlasknow I guess well how I mean if you if you bring stability but you're not going into a relationship with the goal of because in the past being stable AKA
02:44:46
Izzy / Averylike longterm or right I'm a very if I see something with someone long term I'm going to go all for it and I put my all into something I overg give but you said
02:44:57
Izzy / Averyyou're not ready right and I'm self-aware that when I give I give way too much and I don't think that I'm ready for that right now I think that I'm 21 years old and I'm finding myself and that's completely fine to when you
02:45:10
Izzy / Averysay finding yourself do you yeah what ises finding yourself mean um figuring out what hobbies I have what interests I have what would that have to do with your dating the subtext of what she's
02:45:20
Sheena Raytrying to say she doesn't even know M scooter mic but the sub subtext of what you saying I think you just don't know it because you're too young but I think you don't even know who you are yet and you don't know how to does that mean
02:45:32
Sheena Raywhat does it mean to know I'll explain I I'll explain your inner conversation in this age versus my age it's not complete she doesn't even understand herself she
02:45:43
Sheena Raywould do things out of impulse out of feelings versus of her logic mind m M yeah like there's some guarantee that that's going to change with age come on
02:45:54
Andrew Wilsonyou think this I hang on I hear this a lot from women where they will say well you know um she's only 21 but a lot of times her nature doesn't change by the time
02:46:05
Andrew Wilsonthey're 42 right you double the age and and a lot of times well they don't get more logical they never yourself thing right I think it's a practice over an age thing so I think
02:46:17
Mia Huffmanif you're able to practice a true interpersonal relationship with yourself and Converse with yourself either through therapy or entirely onetoone with yourself you can develop yourself and mature yourself and from there
02:46:29
Mia Huffmanbecome a great a greater version of yourself or finding yourself mean self-actualize self actualization also just self-actualization more so just the Journey of intentionally working the
02:46:40
Andrew WilsonJour it's all about the journey it's the but Andre the journey is for everybody expain to me why every woman on planet Earth has a journey for
02:46:49
Andrew Wilsoneverything I'm on my scrapbook Journey I'm on my go across the country Jour everything's a Journey why is everything a journey because you're not hang hang on you're not a wayf farer
02:47:01
Andrew Wilsonyou're not on a journey of course asking what Brian's asking here is he's saying when you're talking about the idea of I have to find myself what the does that actually mean I have to
02:47:14
Izzy / Averyfind I don't know what that means holding I'm just holding space for myself right now and that's all I can do at this moment and when I get into a relationship with someone like I said I overg give and I don't want to do that
02:47:27
Anna Bochenkobecause in the past I found myself in relationships where I have completely lost myself that's what you're trying to find how to stay true to yourself and not being taken advantage of stabilizing
02:47:39
Anna Bochenkoyour own and you know giving it is a great thing and it will pay off seriously it will it will will listen
02:47:48
Sheena Rayonly keep giving but save your body for the special one but keep giving oh my God such a beautiful soul she's only 21 she didn't go through enough things in her life and even if
02:48:01
Sheena Rayshe did she didn't know how to deal with them because she didn't have to to the experience and you have to remember one sentence you only live life forward and you understand them backwards so whatever you do now it's going to affect
02:48:12
Izzy / Averyyour future so just think about it a lot 100% thank you you're welcome okay um question I think we were like
02:48:23
Izzy / Averywhat do what do I bring to a relationship I got a fat ass that's what okay all right she's I'm just trying to break the what about you um I
02:48:35
Izzy / Averywould say I bring like communication and understanding like I want to put myself in the person's shoes when we're having an argument and respect like mutual respect is really important just
02:48:47
Lizetteyeah um I feel like I'd like to I don't know definitely take care of my man I feel like I bring a nurturing kind of aspect to it but then I also try to look
02:48:56
Izzy / Averyfor someone who will kind of inspire me to be a better person so I hope that you want like an inspirational partner a team player someone that's supportive of or just
02:49:09
Brian Atlasyeah someone on supportive team player this is all very different from the word she used which is inspiration yeah you want to feel inspired inspired as in damn this person
02:49:21
Lizettereally has all their Ducks lined up in a row do you um no so or uh again it would depend yeah no no I definitely don't I don't have all my Des so what what would