00:56:59Andrew Wilsonabusive but I really was I have very complex traumas mhm I could spend yeah but isn't it a a lot of time telling you but isn't it awful convenient to say when I do it it's excused when you do it
00:57:11Desiree Noelit's because you're a psychopath well to be honest with you you're a predator I'm not well you're not a predator no what what makes me predatory
00:57:23Desiree Noeland you not predatory I don't go out seeking to hurt people you do who do I go out to seek to hurt me how did I seek
00:57:30Desiree Noelto hurt you you are seeking to show the followers that I am basically not worth living not worth speaking not worth
00:57:40Andrew Wilsonbreathing not worth having an opinion my opinion well if your opinion is bad then yes that your opinion so look at very condescending try to just toose yourself
00:57:51Andrew Wilsonput yourself in my shoes for a second okay let us assume for a second that I had some knowledge so I was raised by your ti assume for a second well they didn't they didn't raise you right but
00:58:02Andrew Wilsonassume for a second I just diverted to something else okay so anyway back to this real quick I was I was in the middle of talking it's awful abusive of you to cut me off while I'm speaking it I'm speaking I'm just giving you back your own medicine I'm speaking I'm
00:58:15Desiree Noelgiving you back your own medicine I don't I don't respect you I'm speaking I don't respect you I'm speaking I don't respect your thought process so anyway I literally don't respect your thought proc who cares what you respect who cares what you respect me you why should
00:58:28Desiree NoelI care about you if you don't give a about me I don't give a about you cut we're yes if you don't give a about me I'm going to show you what it feels like to have somebody not give a about you but I'm not going to Gaslight you and pretend like I give a I'm just going to tell you I don't
00:58:41Desiree Noelgive a about your there's a difference between I don't give a about you you're a piece of you're only here because your sex life Stu I actually you want do you want to go there go there you're only here because you abuse your children okay I thought
00:58:54Andrew Wilsonwe weren't going to talk about that well hang on you can dish it out but you can't take it I gave you explicit boundaries that you were I just broke your boundaries cuz I don't give a cuz I don't give a you didn't give
00:59:06Desiree Noelme boundaries get your wife on the phone what would you like to talk to her about I would like to ask her how the sex is okay wait wait that's come on let's I
00:59:17Desiree Noelreally would look we got I can't I was married to your we can call my ex-husband if you want he might answer you never know you too get along you'd be besties he's a real winner by the way like if I mean he
00:59:30Brian Atlasprobably is he divorced you right no I divorced him oh well that mean that actually makes more sense so look if if you want Andrew to respect the boundaries you can't be slinging the
00:59:42Desiree Noelhere the thing Brian he didn't give me boundaries he didn't give me I gave him boundaries he did not say you can't do this you can't do that you're responsible for my emotional health we can put the no button in the middle and
00:59:55Desiree Noelyou can use it too if if you would like do you need boundaries to and consent do you need a safe word it's no put it there so here's the boundary now you feel safe you can say no whenever you
01:00:04Andrew Wilsonwant okay when I when I hit the no that means stop talking okay agree okay do you think you can do that can I show my ass on camera every time
01:00:15Andrew Wilsonyou say no no no we're on that because that would violate the terms of service what's the terms of service that I can't you can't show your ass on camera I never signed anything that said I couldn't so you're going to break the to
01:00:28Desiree Noelwhat's the to Nick just intro if you have to what is it it means we're on YouTube and twitch you can't show you guys I'm old I don't know what these things are you know what YouTube is I
01:00:39Desiree Noeldon't know the rules do I seem like I follow rules okay but would you it's you don't seem like you're even rational or coherent alone I'm not rational to U
01:00:50Desiree Noelmainstream Society I'm not I'm a Divergent obviously you can be Divergent and be rational no not necessarily no not these days no you can't no you literally can't yeah you literally can do you like
01:01:03Desiree NoelTrum means it literally doesn't mean what you lit are you supporting Trump I'm asking you a question yes look at you okay look it there's an area our um vent diagram intersects so what does that have to do with the price
01:01:16Desiree Noelof tea in China let's say okay let's just pretend okay Trump was my dad uh-huh let's just pretend yeah would you give me a little
01:01:25Andrew Wilsonmore respect no none no I I would treat you exactly um how you treat you I usually match People's Energy so if
01:01:34Andrew Wilsonthey're being they're being lunatic I'm a lunatic same high five so just so you know yeah I don't want to touch you don't want to touch you but but here's the thing right no no
01:01:47Andrew Wilsonno don't do it don't touch me don't don't
01:02:17Brian Atlasit's that dangerous Nick you is literally that dangerous huh my ass is literally that dangerous bro you wouldn't do this you do realize we're a show right we don't
01:02:29Brian Atlaswant to show that you don't want to show ass then why do you have an only fans what does that e what are you talking about why do you have an only
01:02:38Desiree Noelfans we have a meme page we don't post anything on why do you taret has nothing on it why do you Target only fans girls what are you even talking about
01:02:50Brian Atlaswhy do you Target only fans girls what does that have to do with us not wanting for you to show nudity you're you literally Target basically porn stars what the I don't even know
01:03:01Desiree Noelwhat that means you don't know what targeting a porn star means I you'd have to explain to me what that even means are most of your guests not in the sex
01:03:12Brian Atlasindustry no it's actually we've we've gone through painstakingly all our episodes MH to get statistics age relationship status all this stuff less
01:03:24Brian Atlasthan 30% of guests that we've had on the show are involved in sex work who makes you the most money the nonsex workers actually and how what how would that even be relevant
01:03:35Brian AtlasI'm just collecting data do you think we keep track on like the clip from this specific person it's honestly our our most viral moment our
01:03:47Brian AtlasMo our our number one most viral moment wasn't a sex worker what is it hold on and then our most viral moments in general typically aren't have
01:03:58Desiree Noelanything to do with sex workers oh what is the most viral moments you can't be showing your ass why on the because I just said so I can't show my ass on the internet I
01:04:09Unknown/Ambientdo it all the time yeah but you're not allowed to sexually assault people oh was that sexual assault that actually technically was sexual assault oh well now you know how I feel did SE here
01:04:20Desiree Noelsexually assaulted I I didn't say sexual but you just sexually assaulted my wife was here you wouldn't be on this Earth fine that's fine cuz at least I could
01:04:30Desiree Noelhandle something in the realm of visual okay let me I draw the line of sexual assault okay so do I so when I say sex assult so when I say I have a boundary with you when you come over to
01:04:43Desiree Noelme and lift up your whole dress and try to move your ass into my face that's sexual assault so when you try to impose ideologies to me that is
01:04:53Desiree Noelenergetic assault sexual assault why did my body register the last time I was my body registered it as a r did I
01:05:05Brian Atlasemotionally you only Inc who who who humans hold on I'm going to I have to pause the TTS okay say that
01:05:16Desiree Noelone more time I had to emotionally process the last episode the same way the same exact
01:05:26Desiree Noelway that I had to emotionally process every single rape that I've experienced there was a TTS that came through just repeat what you said that's not what you said repeat what you said honest I don't
01:05:38Brian Atlasknow when I said when you said that you you were what emotionally raped by
01:05:51Desiree NoelAndrew ah and then he's laughing about affecting a woman feeling emotionally raped by him as if he doesn't give a how he affects when people do you usually try to sexually assault people
01:06:03TTS/Donationsyou feel have emotionally done that to you donated $100 Des you need to cut Andrew off more and not allow him to speak this is how you can win the debate you need to
01:06:16TTS/Donationsfrustrate him and not allow him to make a point and don't answer anything
01:06:24Brian AtlasDirect there's another one coming in we'll let the original one come
01:06:30TTS/Donationsin thank you Christine I guess Naruto 2.0 donated $100 only in decadence is this possible
01:06:42TTS/Donationshumans can't easily impart knowledge to offspring IND V do Al's pigeon hold please sure let you child touch the fire you wouldn't want a pigeon hold them
01:06:54Brian Atlaspathetic Naruto thank you man uh Nick something about grid one his TTS did not come through are we good oh okay and then we have pelagic here pelagic this
01:07:05Andrew Wilsonis what a psychopath looks like okay so um thank you pelagic now in uh in
01:07:16Andrew Wilsonpage 71 of your book you say basically all the greats including myself and Jesus with whom you categorize yourself with whom I have quite a spicy
01:07:25Desiree Noelrelationship with now wink wink what did you mean by that because I talk about if you actually read my whole book I talk about that one of my reoccurring
01:07:35Desiree Noelfantasies can I go there yeah was basically something that I had tried to repress my whole time of being a
01:07:45Desiree NoelChristian was a fantasy of Jesus sitting on the throne and me essentially riding him face to face and I was always
01:07:54Desiree Noelshaming myself in pushing that fantasy away until finally the death of a friend in my arms
01:08:06Desiree Noelbasically me up so bad that everything that I thought was true
01:08:16Desiree Noelexploded and I finally started allowing in every part of me including the dark and the things that I had previous
01:08:25Desiree Noeliously disowned from myself and shamed I let it come in and what I realized was that my sexuality wanted to reintegrate
01:08:37Desiree Noelwith my spirituality and my spirituality at the time because I was coming out of a Christian ideology my spirituality at the time was the conceptualization of my
01:08:47Desiree Noelcreator of my Divinity as being in incarnate in Jesus and so what I realized was in allowing that fantasy to be alive in my body was
01:08:59Desiree Noelthat I simply wanted Oneness and face to face eye to eye contact with the fullness
01:09:12Andrew Wilsonof God and so so Jesus Was Your Boyfriend essentially in your head my husband your husband yes okay and you wanted to sleep with him yeah yeah
01:09:28Desiree Noelokay not Blasphemous at all you don't think no no no he created sex and he created me to have sex with him yes
01:09:38Desiree Noelwe're very intimate how intimate very okay so intimate I would say that
01:09:45Desiree Noelit's no longer me running my life it's him Jesus runs your life Christ Consciousness yes oh Christ consciousness what is that the empowered
01:09:58TTS/DonationsConsciousness basically the antithesis of victim Consciousness so couch uncore Hopper uncore Outdoors donated
01:10:09TTS/Donations$100 Wilson's wife said his second is a 1210 Soul so stop crying you victim I I don't know what that means I
01:10:19Brian Atlasdon't either she left a comment that Rachel his wife Rachel left a comments that it's a great relationship
01:10:29Desiree Noelgreat marriage oh I think she's saying the sex life oh oh okay your sex life is great I'm glad to hear it I didn't say anything about it oh your wife apparently that was your wife you said something about it I was asking can we call his wife and apparently she left a
01:10:42Brian Atlascomment so we didn't have to I mean actually uh if Rachel's we could call have her do a call and yeah couple if she's cool with it if she wants just so you can hear directly
01:10:53Brian Atlasfrom sure but would you say that Andrew coached her like train like coached her you know into victimhood that like he's controlling like puppet strings like do
01:11:06Desiree NoelI need to say that you you don't have to say that cuz you did you already said it for me just asking I'm just asking well cuz she's gonna come on and say Andrew's dope Andrew's awesome okay well love if
01:11:19Desiree Noelwe already know what she's going to say and we already know that there is a opposing theory that supposedly there is
01:11:27Desiree Noela thing whereby females are fawning it's called a fawn response where we please we
01:11:35Desiree Noelplease been there been a wife a couple times um so if you think it's worth it to have her on we can if you you ask for
01:11:44TTS/Donationsit not me I'm I'm simply I'm deferring to you because you're fluke donated $100 Jesus would have hung her on the cross
01:11:58Brian Atlasuh Isaiah thank you man appreciate it I there's a delay in that one coming in uh thank you Isaiah appreciate it
01:12:08Desiree Noelbro should we do a voice call or is she set up on like Discord I don't think it would be easy for her to move over to Discord with I'm just I'm I'm deferring to you if you can be a representative of
01:12:19Desiree Noelwhat she would say and you guys already let's get her oned the opposing let's just ask if she's cool with with
01:12:27Desiree Noelit I'll ask her yeah you could even just have her um question in or comment in yeah but I thought I thought that
01:12:39Desiree Noelthat was her response to what I had said I thought she already made her response and that you're a 12 out of 10 apparently you're an amazing husband yeah but I think if you hear it directly from her that was was that not directly
01:12:51Desiree Noelfrom her you hear you hear it in her voice I I saw all her say what would what I'm asking what difference in her opinion he's a 12 out of 10 no no is
01:13:04Andrew WilsonRachel going to go off she yeah she just said read her my text from last night I'm not no we're not going in okay that's okay so we can we I I accept the
01:13:16Desiree Noelfact that from Rachel your wife's perspective you are a above and beyond husband you're an amazing husband okay is that correct she think so yeah she thinks she think so so that's I'm happy
01:13:27TTS/Donationsfor her kilo of cereal donated $100 no BS we have a sign in my town that says Jesus comes quickly it all
01:13:38TTS/Donationsmakes sense now this woman lives in an extremely fanatical Fantastical world where objective reality isn't rough uh kill of cial thank you man
01:13:50Desiree Noelappreciate it thank you for the uh TTS do you have a response to Killa I I'm I'm not really honestly sure what he's trying to say the whole fanatical Fantastical world where
01:14:02Brian Atlasobjective reality doesn't exist that whole thing well that was his opinion I'm not going to argue with somebody's opinion of me okay all right he's he's has he's you want to come back there's
01:14:13Brian Atlasactually before I get back to one thing uh in an email you sent me you said you have personas like Eminem Slim Shady Marshall matters it's a it's a thing for
01:14:23Brian Atlasus genius black ghetto slave Souls inside sexy white bodies
01:14:32Desiree Noelyeah well you guys weren't that interested in hearing about my I was I'm I'm interested are you interested about the black ghetto slave
01:14:43Desiree NoelSoul inside or what what part of it were you interested in well sorry you were you said you guys weren't that interested in in what well so it goes back to my talk about white supremacy
01:14:56Desiree Noeland trying to explain that it's an energetic matter it's an ideology it's a matter of ideology we did want to hear it but then you hit the the the no button well because it did not seem that you really
01:15:07Desiree Noelwanted to understand it seemed that you wanted to propagate a particular ideology and that's exactly what I was trying to talk about but I wasn't was it
01:15:17TTS/Donationsa sorry sorry go I'd like to explain the concept from my worldview so that you understand cable donated
01:15:27Andrew Wilson$100 Madison blink twice slowly if you're in [Laughter]
01:15:36Andrew Wilsondanger so imagine from my perspective right that I see that there's a world poool and you're in a boat and I everything that goes near this world
01:15:47Andrew Wilsonpool gets sucked down okay and I say listen you're in this boat but if you go towards that Whirlpool it's going to suck you down and you go no no no listen from my perspective it's not a world
01:15:58Andrew Wilsonpoool it's a I don't know zazz baz you call it a Zazzle baz and you go and I think I can just sail right through it and I go no stupid it's a world poool and you're going to get sucked down into it and you're going to die don't do that and you go nope I'm
01:16:12Andrew Wilsongoing to do it anyway and you just go out and you get sucked down the world poool right that's how it is with ideologies too so when somebody says to me they're like ah it's just my ideology therefore it's just my opinion and so
01:16:23Andrew Wilsontherefore you trying to say anything about it isn't correct it's like ah no I think it is I think it's fine to say see that Vortex there that makes no hang on hang on I'm almost done almost done
01:16:34Andrew Wilsonokay okay so that little Whirlpool or whatever that you're about to go down right just trying to go ah don't do that don't do that okay so you're trying to be my daddy no I'm not trying to be your
01:16:46Andrew Wilsondaddy I would do that for a total stranger really yeah I'm not really interested in being being protected by you it's not an interest of you it's an interest for me
01:16:59Andrew Wilsonwhether or not you're a person who says I'm going to pour gasoline on myself and light a match because I want to do this cuz I want to be emulated and completely cook myself and I see you going for that
01:17:10Desiree Noelmatch I'll still stop you anyway but the damage that you did to me in the last show if I was not such an emotionally stable person I would have
01:17:21Andrew Wilsongone home and killed myself okay so the you know it's really funny um there's a lot of prot there's a lot I'm not there to protect you I thought you just said that you you're not listening to what
01:17:32Andrew WilsonI'm saying I'm saying that I'm making a comparison to an ideology and saying to you that I'm not going to keep your fragile ideology intact or not destroy the fragile ideology if it's bad because that in some way is going to be
01:17:45Andrew Wilsonemotionally painful that's cognitive dissonance that's that's what that is it is emotionally painful to shrug off bad ideologies that's true
01:17:56Andrew Wilsonthat's true it's just like saying okay my leg is broken okay well it healed wrong I got to break it again so it heals right it's the same thing and the more you propagate bad ideology the more you're going to see your ideology get
01:18:09Andrew Wilsonbroken over and over and over and over and over and over and over as the leg gets reset time and time and time again you call that emotional grape right I
01:18:19Brian Atlascall it logic and reason okay I I got a couple questions um you said that you I don't want to
01:18:30Brian Atlasreuse the word precisely the words you precisely used you said that you went home and wanted to harm yourself because
01:18:38Desiree Noelyou because of your experience on the show no I was saying that if I was less emotionally stable I could see how I would do that we've had over a thousand
01:18:50Andrew Wilsonpeople on the show they're all fine when you sexually assault men couldn't that the result of that tooo could it couldn't it be the the result when you sexually assault men did you feel in danger Yeah well yeah of course yes of
01:19:03Andrew Wilsoncourse any woman who's not my wife who in any way tries to put sections of her body near me like that in a sexually provocative way is dangerous as hell yeah oh yeah horribly dangerous I'm
01:19:14Brian Atlasjust curious had Andrew done something similar and he like exposed himself yeah went over and just whipped it out that would have been okay would you I would be comfortable with that oh my god do
01:19:23Desiree Noelyou think most women would I'm not most women right but Andrew's not like you Andrew's not like but here's the thing that's not passive aggressive that is you literally
01:19:35Desiree Noelshowing me exactly what you're trying to do when you use psychological tactics and emotional manipulation based off of my trauma responses that is passive aggressive that is then you trying to manipulate and hurt me rather than I
01:19:48Desiree Noelwould literally rather you pull down your pants and put your dick in my face then I know what I'm dealing with I did not know what I was going to be dealing with in the last show so it felt like it felt like that's what I'm saying it felt
01:20:00Andrew Wilsonlike a manipulation and an emotional rape because I did not know I thought I was literally coming on a dating podcast so I can understand from the perspective of saying that you'd rather see immediate action other than what you
01:20:11Andrew Wilsonwould consider to be passive aggressive or manipulative just rather see put your cards on the table so other than manipulative tactics right when you're saying manipulative
01:20:24Andrew Wilsontactics you're saying you would much rather see somebody be physically aggressive sure I can understand that that at least makes sense to me but isn't it also a form of passive aggressive manipulation to say because I have trauma responses to perceive things
01:20:37Andrew Wilsonyou don't know anything about me you there was no way for you to ever determine what these trauma responses would be um that me just having a normal conversation with you like I would anybody else on this show and have done a thousand times isn't that a form of
01:20:49Desiree Noelmanipulation well you had disclosed to me that you were not affected emotionally by anybody so did you same thing you said I'm deeply I'm
01:21:01Andrew Wilsondeeply emotionally affected by people no what you said to me was you said listen this isn't a big deal right this conversation in this context doesn't
01:21:11Andrew Wilsonmatter doesn't matter to me that's what you said when but as we're you said this doesn't matter I have no respect for you and if I was a less emotional person I would have gone home and off myself I
01:21:23Desiree Noelcan handle it right no I was not saying that I had no emotion I was saying if I had less emotional intelligence and tools to
01:21:33Desiree Noelprocess those emotions I could understand with this bullying that people experienc which I had not honestly experienced anything like this before nothing like it at all yeah I
01:21:46Andrew Wilsonnever experienced anything like that either I never experienced a woman trying to sexually assault me so now at least I feel like we're on the same playing field yeah no it's not the same playing field toally SE assault somebody
01:21:57Andrew Wilsonyour perception of guy made argument which hurt my feelings therefore he emotionally graped me that's absurd okay that's like not in the same universe okay yeah all right yeah on tiered logic
01:22:09Andrew Wilsonright it's not the same you win you want me to tell you you win I mean yeah yeah you know what yeah say say Andrew I'm trying do is
01:22:20Andrew Wilsonliterally get to the point of do you want me to get on my knees and submit no I all I want you to do is engage with the arguments that's it so that you can
01:22:31Andrew Wilsonwith me no so I can understand your worldview so you can monetize with me no so that I can understand your worldview you understand my world viw really that's why you're I ask you a question about it I lead to the next to
01:22:43Andrew Wilsonthe next to the next and I still don't actually get coherent answers maybe that's well thought out on my part oh yeah I stole your pen it's well thought so you don't want
01:22:53Desiree Noelto tell me what your ideology rude I don't want to tell my brain that you give a about understanding me because it's not actually true yeah I
01:23:05Andrew Wilsonwould listen I would not be here if I didn't give a about other people's worldviews false no it's not false false I promise you I will not be here job Andrew what's your credential robotics mechanic a robotics mechanic what's your
01:23:17Desiree Noeldegrees in I don't have a degree how are you a robotics mechanic and you don't have a degree I have an apprenticeship and it's a trade okay so similar to life coaching let's say no it's not similar
01:23:28Desiree Noelto life coaching let's say it's a trade though yeah it's a it's a real trade so life coaching is not a real trade I I don't know do people make a living doing
01:23:38Andrew Wilsonit sure so what is your definition of a trade uh so to me a trade apprenticeship would be like an applied skill so so life coaching isn't an applied skill no I don't think it's a why would you have
01:23:52Desiree Noelwhy would you have to go to a trade school to learn how to do it then if it's not a skill that you have to learn I'm not sure that those are trade schools I'm not sure give me the definition of a trade aren't you learning how to a skill to perform a
01:24:05Desiree Noeltrade that you can monetize yeah but they couldn't I mean that would fall under anything though right anything that you can monetize and you have to learn how to do it I would call that a trade skill TR okay well I mean if
01:24:17Desiree Noelthat's your definition I'll ConEd you the definition okay so I am so you have no degrees in psychology you have no Ministry degrees you've never been to any Ministry School those
01:24:28Desiree Noeljust appeals to Authority appeals to Authority so you so you want me to appeal to your Authority yet you
01:24:36Desiree Noelliterally have what a twoe twoyear training program and how to do robotics no what does that have to do with anything let's assume that I you know
01:24:48Desiree Noelwhat the point is you're arguing with me Psy spirituality and all of these things that I've literally at least gone to trade school what have you done what
01:24:59Andrew Wilsonwould that matter let's say I was a sixth grade Dropout and I cleaned carpets for a living and was a cummer on the internet whose wife who had an open relationship with my wife let's say that was my background in what world would it
01:25:12Andrew Wilsonmake me wrong to question the things that you say if you're wrong about them regardless of whatever my degrees were in because you are questioning my authority as a psychologist
01:25:24Andrew Wilsonwhen you're not a psychologist why do I need to be the thing to question the thing it's like saying you can't question the medication your doctor gives you unless you're a doctor like
01:25:35Desiree Noelwhat questioning is one thing but having the condescendence to actually believe that you are right over what I am trained to be right in that's a little crossing a line I would say what's the
01:25:47Desiree Noelline that you're crossing your tone the tone it's the wrong tone because I'm actually am I tone I am actually the authority in everything that you're
01:25:57Desiree Noeltalking about psychologically and spiritually and scholastically so you need to get yourself in line and question me as a student of
01:26:08TTS/Donationsthose things because I'm actually the teacher you're the student well Mr Bulet donated $100 communicate from the Inquisition patriarchy Grand Inquisitor have you
01:26:21TTS/Donationsreceived the autographed blue white cup with certificate of authenticity I am performing an audit of our inventory not yet thank you Mr Boule but now appreciate it Mr I know what that even
01:26:33Andrew Wilsonmeans that's a it doesn't have anything to do with this it's like a a show inside joke but anyway yeah so by this metric right if um if if somebody let's
01:26:44Andrew Wilsonsay is a boat maker right and they make for you a boat and you say hey it doesn't float and they go don't question me I make boats so let me ask
01:26:54Andrew Wilsonyou something do you heal people's trauma uh I'm not so sure that you can heal anybody's trauma yeah you can you can really then how come you haven't healed your own I literally have well then why do you keep on talking about
01:27:07Desiree Noelhow you're traumatized all the time because trauma is an ongoing thing that we continually have to process you just re-traumatized every day yeah and then I have to process it every night and that's how I don't continue it on to
01:27:20Andrew Wilsonthe next day remember the Bible says don't don't go asleep don't R traumatized and then every day you heal yourself of your trauma yes every night before I go to bed every night okay so all of your old traumas that you
01:27:32Desiree Noelkeep appealing to is being problematic right divorces things like this from all those the bigger catastrophic traumas take a little bit more time they're more complex they don't take one night but
01:27:44Andrew Wilsonfor example well how many nights do they take it just depends okay do you want to talk about a specific trauma and how long it how long so how do you heal your trauma of your divorce how would you heal that the divorce wasn't the trauma
01:27:56Desiree Noelwhat was the trauma being with the man okay how would you heal that it's been very hard so healed well it is healed in the sense that do you really want to go into it it's really dark well when you
01:28:09Andrew Wilsonsay healing no what I want to get into is this idea of healing trauma when you say do you heal trauma and I go I'm not sure you can heal trauma you go well you can and I say well do you want to expain it's like saying do there's a protocol
01:28:21Unknown/Ambientin my book do you want to talk about how it's done which part of your book here let me just tell me the chapter here I'll have to find it Well I need the book to look at the chapter oh here I'll use this one okay okay I created a
01:28:32TTS/Donationsprotocol to explain to you how to do it GMD gim donated $100 this is precisely the result of the closure of asylums back in the80s we now
01:28:43Desiree NoelEmbrace this stuff honey you are not trained you have been indoctrinated by other crazy people okay so right here on page 57 My Method processing severe trauma do you
01:28:56Desiree Noelwant me to read you the couple Pages it's only two pages it looks like or you can just give me a summarization well I'd just rather read it okay okay so my method processing severe
01:29:07Desiree Noeltrauma in my Relentless study of anthropology sociology and the psychology of various individuals I had come to realize that it was never the actual events um situations or words
01:29:19Desiree Noelspoken that traumatize people for the most part rather it was their uncontrolled obsessive mental recalling of the situation then the meaning they assigned to it all that really had the
01:29:31Desiree Noelpower to either chronically or just acutely traumatize the person in other words there was a reason some people were just deeply shaken and grieved by certain things but then seemed to move
01:29:42Desiree Noelon just fine While others seemed to get stuck severely traumatized for a lifetime it had nothing to do with how bad quote unquote the traumatic event was or not it had to do with how the the
01:29:54Desiree Noelperson felt and then handled it after the fact that doesn't as I mentioned previously I asked the infinite as I mentioned previously I asked the infinite to show me a way to process the
01:30:05Desiree Noelloss of Steve and how to get rid of the graphic images from that night so that I wouldn't get PTSD post-traumatic stress disorder or any other long-term negative effects once I asked the question I
01:30:17Desiree Noelstarted receiving inspired thoughts that ended up being the Practical step-by-step solution to this problem I had been trying to help people recover from abuse and other traumas for years and never actually believed it was
01:30:29Desiree Noelpossible up until then I believe the best people could do was learn to cope with their traumas so they didn't completely ruin their lives holding on to that belief created the reality for
01:30:40Desiree Noelme by shutting my Raz off so that's the reticular activating system to any contradictory information hence a confirmation bias but now my mind was
01:30:51Desiree Noelunlocked and I was asking my hire infinite self- better questions and believing there had to be a way this is what was downloaded into my mind from the infinite okay this is the this is
01:31:02Desiree Noelthe um method that came through okay place a meaning on the event that feels good no matter how far you must reach remember how I told you that the meaning we place on events is very powerful and
01:31:14Desiree Noelcompletely within our power I decided I would believe that everything had happened exactly as it was supposed to with Steve my unborn baby my marriage
01:31:25Desiree Noelmy kids and my old life that had come to an end I also chose to believe this about all the rest of things including my childhood and being born to my
01:31:35Desiree Noelparents in the dis in the dysfunctional family I would believe it all happened as it was supposed to I would believe that I was an infinite spiritual being who had chosen to Incarnate into this
01:31:47Desiree Noelhuman existence because there were things that I wanted to experience that would deepen my understanding and love for myself for life and for other
01:31:57Desiree NoelSouls that my willingness to have these experiences and let them deepen me is it just going to be a booking yes I told you that I would be able to share and the sharing would feel really
01:32:10Desiree Noelgood to me she's just not going to stop these beliefs I told you it was only two pages these beliefs felt good and right and empowering so I put them in my thought Nursery to give them
01:32:21Brian Atlasattention and any okay so Desiree I don't know you read the section that's pertinent to the conversation no I he wanted to know my process but I got your process your no
01:32:34Andrew Wilsonyou didn't there's still more yeah we got to move it on your process your process is you ask God in Cope that's the process no it's not it's how to Rel INF the infinite is God and then you I
01:32:45Andrew Wilsonjust told you you have to you have to place a meaning on the event that feels good that's called cope it's not called C that's cope that is doing everything you can take
01:32:58Desiree Noelthe event and pretend it's something other than what the event is that is C it's yes it is agree to disagree grab a happy image and put it into the thought Nursery now if you read my book you would know what the thought Nursery is
01:33:10Desiree Noelto dwell on for a few minutes let the better feelings associated with the happy image emerge breathe into these better feelings and Savor them I did this as many times a day as necessary so
01:33:22Desiree Noelwhat I would have to do is so the image was of my friend dead on the oper on the table basically blue with intubated and everything he died and they made me go back and see him dead on the table and his mom wanted me to delay the coroner
01:33:35Desiree Noelfrom taking his body that's the only reason I had to see him dead I don't recommend people do that there's no point but anyway I had to go and see this man who died in my arms first and then was tried they tried to
01:33:47Desiree Noelresuscitate him obviously and abated him he's blue on the table his mom I had to tell Steve's dead well I didn't tell her that but I told her I don't know he's unconscious she met me at the hospital
01:34:00Desiree Noelbut on her way there she was begging me to stall the coroner from taking his body because they wanted time for the brother to come and be able to see I don't know why people want to traumatize themselves by doing this again I don't
01:34:12Desiree Noelrecommend forcing yourself to see your loved one dead that's not necessarily trauma that's part of the closure process okay well for some it is but for a lot of people they get stuck on those images for me I got stuck with him
01:34:24Andrew Wilsonblue intubated people have a disconnection between what is life you want to hear how I got over that and didn't get we got we got to move to the next point but before we do before I'd
01:34:35Andrew Wilsonlike to stay on this point right so people have a huge disconnection from what is life and what is death not everybody and by the way people used to have to deal with death a
01:34:47Andrew Wilsonlot more they used to have to deal with dead bodies a lot more things like this I don't think that it's ingrained to be traumatic necessarily it's something that people just don't really have to
01:34:58Andrew Wilsondeal with very much so it becomes not personal it always becomes somebody else's dealing with it you're just dealing with a memory but the thing is is that when you say things like take this thing that actually happened and
01:35:11Andrew Wilsonput a fun happy spin on it so it's something that you remember fondly instead that is an Embrace of delusion so how's that not cope if I can
01:35:21Brian Atlashave a bit of some like extended so we kind of veered off of this I was asking how me or Andrew or the show is woman hating I did not get an adequate
01:35:39Desiree Noelresponse because I'm a woman and I've shared a lot with you and it's never been met with any sort of understanding
01:35:47Desiree Noelor empathy it's only been met with hostility and like this weird commitment to not understanding
01:35:59Brian Atlasme and can I just say the same thing to you sure no empathy no understanding sure if that's how you
01:36:10Desiree Noelfeel so can you I mean what's that Aristotle quote about crying okay so crying is one of the ways
01:36:22Brian Atlasthat the body processes the trauma in real time that way we don't hold on to it or is it a way to appeal to emotion to try to get people onto your side without actually having a strong
01:36:33Desiree NoelFoundation or position for what you're actually trying to say and argue that is a way that people who lack genuine empathy that is a way that they
01:36:43Desiree Noeluse appeared emotion to manipulate others but my emotion is actually genuine okay well
01:36:54Brian AtlasI I don't see how that has anything to do with a woman
01:37:07Unknown/Ambienthating I'm a Healer as women were gifted
01:37:18Brian Atlaswith special abilities to take on I'm just look this is these are words
01:37:30TTS/Donationsthat you said GMD Jim donated $100 trust not a woman when she weeps for it is her nature to weep when she
01:37:40Desiree Noelwants her will Socrates Socrates yeah okay well if you if you're not comfortable with me crying I'm going to have to go because some of the things
01:37:50Brian Atlaswe're talking about C that's fine I'm still just trying to understand aside from how you felt I don't if there's something you
01:38:01Desiree Noelcan point I don't think that you are trying to understand anything I think that you are trying to bring a point across so just just say what your point is that you would like
01:38:13Brian Atlasto prove and then I can just submit and we can move on I'm I'm not really sure if that's what I'm trying to do but
01:38:24Desiree Noelearlier in the show you said that me and Andrew are woman hating the show is woman hating so I'm asking you to point to something
01:38:33Desiree Noelspecific I I I I keep doing it and you don't want to accept it so I don't see the point and continuing the conversation I told you that I am a
01:38:43Desiree Noelwoman and I didn't feel safe and I don't feel safe in your presence hence woman hating because I am a representative of woman well so if I I'm a man and I feel
01:38:54Brian Atlasuncomfortable in your presence does that mean you're a manher you can say that if that's how you feel does it make it true would you agree or disagree with that statement that I am a manher because I
01:39:06Brian Atlasfeel unsafe in your presence I would validate if that's how I made you feel at least but would it make you a manher
01:39:14Desiree Noelor would you be like no I'm not a man possibly if man if man is taking your form then yes male if man is taking your form then yes
01:39:26Desiree Noelthere is hatred there because it's not you as a soul it's you as an ideology coming at me and not inviting me to feel safe in your
01:39:38Brian Atlaspresence didn't you just so me and Andrew were sitting here we were sitting down we were just talking at moments it was a lively
01:39:48Brian Atlasconversation but we were remaining in our seats was it Andrew or was it me or was it you who got out of their seat
01:39:58Brian Atlascame all the way over here got into our physical space and I mean Andrew is sitting to my left who was that was that
01:40:06Brian Atlasus or was it you it was me invoked by you you invited me to I invited you to walk over and get into our physical
01:40:17Desiree Noelspace yes how did I so you're saying we consented to that I am saying that you didn't give a about my personal space emotionally so I didn't give a about your physical
01:40:29Desiree Noelspace that doesn't make any sense I gave you a taste of your own medicine and you didn't like it so what was the point you were trying to prove give you a taste of your own
01:40:40Brian Atlasmedicine what was the medicine which we were dispensing so you could feel what it feels like to be disrespected the medicine you claim we were dispensing disrespect you this conversation while
01:40:51Brian Atlaswe disagree has actually been fairly uh I mean there were times where it got a bit heated but it's otherwise been fairly in times where there was sexual assault let's not forget that um I like
01:41:03Brian Atlasin any case so when it comes to your safety and this being evidence of woman hating yeah we've remained here while you might disagree with what we say you got out of your chair walked around the
01:41:16Desiree Noeltable we didn't know if you were going to strike us or what you were going to do you were scared did I scare you why are you smiling when you say that that's interesting because I it makes me
01:41:27Desiree Noelfeel more safe to know that maybe I have some sort of power in your presence you do realize women have capacity for violence I'm not a fighter you could say
01:41:39TTS/DonationsI well hold on we don't know that like you could have come over here smacked in the face Pagan donated
01:41:49TTS/Donations$100 what did you think think coming on ATA podcast debate meant a debate is adversarial in nature when you tone police it equates to you have nothing to
01:41:59Brian Atlassay in the purpose to derail the conversation so I mean can I ask you a question so going I guess going back to the we felt you felt unsafe in the
01:42:09Brian Atlasemotional space so you as retribution you wanted to make us feel unsafe in the physical space correct and that's why you got out of your chair walked all the way around here and I mean we didn't know if you're were going to try to
01:42:22Brian Atlasstrike in closer but you ESS pulled up your correct your dress and put his your ass right in his
01:42:34Desiree Noelyes space yes so I wanted you to understand the height of how you guys affect me emotionally and spiritually it
01:42:45Brian Atlaswas like that so do you think other forms of let's I mean I would let's I would rather you beat me I would literally rather you punch in the face well I'm not interested in doing that so
01:42:55Brian Atlashold on um would you say that even if I don't categorize what you did specifically as a violent act
01:43:06TTS/Donationsusing Wilson's uncore wife donated $100 wow that was quite a journey we've been through vibrations colonialism
01:43:16TTS/Donationsfeminism scam black slave Souls locked in sexy white bodies spores oh spores tears is showing us riding Jesus D1 CK all right Wilson's wife thank you
01:43:29Brian Atlasappreciate it um would if somebody is making you feel unsafe in your mental or emotional space saying even not categorizing what
01:43:41Brian Atlasyou did as violence is violence Justified as retribution if somebody makes you feel unsafe physical violence makes you feel unsafe in the emotional or psychological space
01:43:54Brian Atlasyeah it's called ey for an i you rep you so so just so I understand this correctly you would have also been Justified to for example like try to physically assault Andrew in that moment
01:44:05TTS/Donationsalso I believe I would yes right would you have been legally Justified yeah I believe I could get away with it mega8 donated
01:44:16TTS/Donations$100 this is what she does she is the first to attack people personally then she cries to gain sympathy she is a manipulator that's why she told you she
01:44:27TTS/Donationsmight harm herself sympathy and manipulation ladder doesn't wa for you all right [Music]
01:44:37Brian Atlasum so uh this would be a good moment to uh wait M put the book put
01:44:49Brian Atlasthe uh this would be a good moment to shout out to bate un university.com if you want to become a master debater like like Andrew 100% of the time and like sometimes at I'm at like my 99 like when
01:45:03Brian AtlasI'm parsing and like you know I'm parsing pretty good sometimes uh you can also like you know I I have my moments too you know I don't know what I'm I'm just ad liing this
01:45:14Brian Atlasguys debay university.com verbal combat is the course uh we have a by the way also we're going to have a debate tomorrow be back she's coming back she just had to use the restroom we have a debate
01:45:26Brian Atlasscheduled for tomorrow around we're going to try to go live at 400 p.m. once again sorry for our delay and starting today uh we will be going live 4 P p.m. tomorrow that's going to be another good one be sure to tune in 4 pm. tomorrow
01:45:38Brian Atlasdebate with Andrew and but yeah check out the course debate university.com also go to our twitch twitch.tv/ whatever drop us a follow on the prime sub if you have one
01:45:48Brian Atlasguys it's been uh 14 minutes since we last got a prime help say it louder Maddie help there you go uh twitch.tv/
01:45:57Brian Atlaswhatever drops a follow drops a prime sub um this conversation's off the rails this conversation is
01:46:09Brian Atlasuh um by the way I have I have the video from security camera behind me should I post on the
01:46:18Brian AtlasDiscord no or we'll talk later you don't think so nope you don't you don't want that out there or I mean I think people should see
01:46:32Brian Atlaswhat what happened or do you just not want it you don't want it out there uh yeah I know you don't want it out there we'll
01:46:45Brian Atlastalk about it okay we'll talk about that after after the show okay she might do something huh nothing
01:46:59Brian Atlasso um so Maddie how about them Bears big scary
01:47:09Brian Atlasbears Maddie would you rather be in a force alone with a man or or or a
01:47:17Brian Atlasbear a man okay that's good to know good to know uh what what are some of the other
01:47:27Andrew Wilsonthings we need to get into on this show over over 80 videos by the way over 80 videos over 80 videos on debate poured poured a lot into that I hope you
01:47:39Andrew Wilsonguys enjoy it I think you will I think you'll enjoy it a lot are you uh returning Desiree or I'm just taking a
01:47:49Brian Atlasminute I want to St or not okay well so anyways uh where was I maybe we can wrap it up on a good note
01:48:02Andrew Wilsonmaybe like the last part we can wrap it on potentially a good note what do you think I think we can do that I think that can be achieved it'll be achieved
01:48:19Brian Atlasso so Andrew uh how's Rachel doing how's how's Rachel she good she's doing well she's doing well yeah okay yeah doing
01:48:28Andrew Wilsonwell just kicking ass she goes to the gym non-stop doing a great job nice that's
01:48:38Madison Vugood uh Desiree can you can you return to the table please I'm not ready yet oh I suppose that's a good do you guys ever do the debate with those girls from the last show or no uh we're going to have
01:48:50Brian Atlasthat that's going to happen soon okay we're gonna get that scheduled I'm gonna go ahead and go uh you're gonna go yeah you sure you don't want to just say goodbye I'll say
01:49:16Brian Atlasgoodbye is it um it's kind of overcast today it's a bit overcast you know it's uh it's overcast
01:49:30Brian Atlasuh is it is it because I asked about the woman hating stuff is that it's just because I'm not respected and I have a really important job in the world I'm not you weren't you weren't
01:49:42Brian Atlasrespected how how was wait you didn't really say goodbye though do you at least want to sit down briefly and just say goodbye to the yeah you can have the last
01:49:57Brian Atlasword do you want to say goodbye on into the camera or into the mic I guess or we can re I think we can reconcile this
01:50:09Brian Atlasgoodbye quick reconciliation
01:50:18Brian Atlasokay it's all my fault it's all my fault guys uh okay do you at least want to announce the uh the lawsuit
01:50:34Brian AtlasDesiree lawsuit you can what would it be about I don't think you want you mean no I'm talking about the
01:50:46Brian Atlasthe class action lawsuit that you want to I don't think those on YouTu what words on on
01:50:58Brian AtlasYouTube okay well uh oh yeah probably should Andrew can you
01:51:09Madison Vusure so how are you feeling Andrew I know you had a shot earlier do you feel like uh poisoned or anything no I'm good
01:51:17Madison Vuokay just making sure so far so good she's pressing the no button on her way out she's yeah she's pressing the no
01:51:29Madison Vubutton well guys an hour and an hour and 50 minutes that broad needs to put
01:51:38Andrew Wilsonthe cuckoo back in the clock crazy crazy crazy I'm sorry you had to see that
01:51:48Andrew WilsonRachel Rachel doesn't give a yeah
01:51:57Andrew Wilsonis it what huh what happened no she left okay Nick did you give her okay cool no just kid
01:52:11Andrew Wilsonwhoa um wow okay that was uh that was an interesting one didn't have essay by lunatic on my bingo card this morning Brian
01:52:22Brian AtlasI don't even know where to honestly so guys we were I mean we didn't even really get into it because we were getting get into she sent like DMS upon
01:52:31Brian AtlasDMS upon DMS of like her positions legal threats um I mean you kind of got a
01:52:40Brian Atlasglimpse into the madness and Chaos we'll uh if you guys want to stick around for a bit we'll go through the DMS Nick were you able to just double check and make sure they're all everything's all clean I didn't get to finish going through cuz
01:52:53Brian AtlasI was you know okay that's fine well now you'll have a little time we can talk for a little bit um I'm surprised though that it was
01:53:01Brian Atlasme that I think precipitated The Rage Quit no it wasn't well I mean I asked her about the woman hating Andrew was off having a smoke and
01:53:13Brian Atlasshe started crying when I asked her oh about the woman hating and then that's when she I mean look there's stuff that happened before that but I'm surprised that that's kind of what uh broke the
01:53:25Brian Atlascamel the straw that broke the camel's back yeah
01:53:32Madison Vuum so you were you were extremely calm I thought we were super calm yeah um so
01:53:45Andrew Wilsonwhatever well for her it was control it was emotional grape yeah she made it very clear that that's crazy the the whole thing has to do with